Breakups are tough for both people involved. There are waves of emotions at every turn, and no one is ever 100% certain that their decision to break up was the right one. For some people, this doubt develops a louder voice as time goes by and they can begin to seriously doubt their decision to break up with the person they love. If you’re reading this article today, chances are that you’re starting to get the feeling that your ex is regretting breaking up with you.
You want to know for sure, so you’re looking for signs he regrets breaking up with you and trying to move on, or signs she regrets breaking up with you and wants you back. Fortunately, you’ve come to the right place because I’ve written this article for you today in order to help you gage what’s going on in your ex’s mind right now!
By figuring out whether or not your ex regrets breaking up with you, you’ll know how to plan your next move accordingly! I’ll split it into two sections. One for you, ladies, and one for you, gentlemen, and we will talk about how to solidify this doubt in your ex’s mind. We want him or her to regret breaking up with you so much that they want you back!
Signs ex regrets breaking up: Why they leave and suddenly regret it
We are all human beings and we all have complex emotions. When two people in a relationship encounter issue after issue, negative emotions will begin to take precedent and this of course leads to a break up. Their most recent memories are the situations that made them feel angry, hurt, betrayed, misunderstood or disrespected. When the breakup is fresh, they’re going to have these things on their mind and it’s going to taint their image of the relationship.
For a while, and this could be a long period of time or a very short one depending on the person, they’ll feel like breaking up was the right call. But then something very interesting happens. More often than not, certain thoughts will begin to creep in and make a person wonder if breaking up was really the right thing to do.
Memories of the good times you shared begin to surge up, he or she will start to feel the pang of loneliness, and a certain vulnerability will start to emerge. This is typically when you’re going to start seeing signs of regret in a man or woman. When the anger and frustration that follow a breakup begin to lift, your ex is going to start to remember how good it was when you two were happy. It doesn’t mean that he or she is just going to forget about everything that went wrong, but they’re going to remember the soft spot they have for you.
If you do things right, and I’m going to expand on this in a moment, you’ll solidify this feeling of regret in your ex and actually make him or her want you back. You’ll be able to make your ex feel inspired to give this another go and not wind up going down the same road.
But before we dive into that, what are the signs that your ex regrets breaking up?
Here are the telltale signs that your ex does regret breaking up
Men and women are a little bit different when it comes to how they handle the aftermath of a breakup. In my experience as a coach in love and relationships, I’ve often noticed that women tend to experience the intense emotions like heartbreak and pain directly after a breakup whereas men are able to keep their minds off of it for a few weeks until it all surges up.
This will also impact their behavior after a breakup and therefore the signs that they regret letting you go. It’s actually not even uncommon for people to end up regretting breaking up years later!
So how can you tell for sure if maybe the breakup is temporary…?
Signs she regrets breaking up with you and letting you go
The biggest thing I want you to keep in mind is the fact that actions speak louder than words. Your ex girlfriend may have told you that she doesn’t want to be with you anymore, but if her actions are telling you otherwise, you should pay attention to that. Yes, of course her words are important as well – especially if she’s telling you point blank that she regrets breaking up with you and misses you, but if she hasn’t explicitly said that yet, her actions are going to tell you what’s on her mind.
So, what are the signs she regrets dumping you?
• She tells you
Well, this one is pretty obvious. If a girl really regrets breaking up with you, she’ll usually just tell you. Now I know it is sometimes way more complicated than that, especially because there are things like pride, embarrassment, or nerves that come into play, and she might opt for a more indirect approach.
• She isn’t dating anyone else
Sure, maybe she tried going on a few dates or maybe even dating a guy for a little bit after your breakup, but it looks like it was nothing more than a rebound relationship. You can see that she isn’t interested in anyone else but she’s still talking to you… It is even more likely if she’s flirtatious…
• She’s been flirting with you
When you first broke up she kept her distance, but now you’ve noticed that she’s being flirtatious and it looks like you have an effect on her. If she’s flirting with you, it definitely is NOT a sign she’s losing interested! She’s being playful and might even be more tactile.
• She’s been going out of her way to be in contact with you
She’s been finding excuses to call or text you. She’s been asking if you can help her with some things, but you know that she could have asked anyone. She chose you. She’s been asking your advice on things that are important to her, and she’s been reaching out to “Just see how you are.” You’ve been noticing that she’s been going out of her way to talk to you, so it’s very likely that she’s thinking, “I regret letting him go…”
• She’s been mentioning memories you shared and seems nostalgic about them
She’s been saying things like, “Remember when we used to go to our spot on the beach? That was so fun. I miss that.” She’s very clearly in the phase where the past memories are beginning to surge up and she feels nostalgic. She misses the good times and right now these memories are outweighing the painful ones related to the breakup.
Keep in mind – she might opt to do this in an indirect way. Many women use social media as a tool for sharing emotions without having to tell them to you directly. She might post a picture of a trip you two took and caption it, “Take me back!” Or even, “Missing these kinds of days.” To others, it just looks like a pretty picture of a beach, but you know that it’s a picture from that day you told her you held her hand, kissed her cheek, and had beers while watching the sunset and laughing until both of your bellies hurt. She’s reminiscing and regretting losing you.
Signs he wants you back and regrets ending your relationship
As I said above, the signs that your ex regrets breaking up with you vary slightly. Yes, there are many similarities but there are a few indicators that vary between men and women – namely how long it takes them to realize that they regret the breakup.
• He’s decided to stay single
For a lot of guys, the easiest way to move past a breakup is by dating someone new ASAP. It helps them to change their frame of mind and distract themselves from the pain of the breakup. If he’s single and doesn’t even seem to be looking for someone new, it’s very likely that it’s a sign he regrets losing you and is hoping to get you back.
• He keeps talking about you to mutual friends
Guys are able let go and move on relatively fast if they’re not feeling it anymore, but if you see that he’s always bringing you up and trying to hold on to connections to your mutual friends and maybe even your family members, he is probably trying to hold on. He can’t get you out of his head so he’s trying to get closer to you through the people you care about.
• He makes excuses to be in contact with you
You can tell that he could ask anyone for help or advice about a certain thing, but he chooses to come to you. You’re still his go-to and you don’t see any signs of that fizzling away… He’s been going out of his way to talk to you and keep in touch with you, even when it feels like he’s coming up with any reason to talk to you.
• He talk to you about his regrets
He might not explicitly say, “I regret breaking up with you” but he’s been talking about how he regrets how he handled the situation, how he regrets when he hurt your feelings that one time, or how he regrets that he couldn’t be better. He’s down on himself and he’s opening up to you about it, and this is usually one of the signs he wants you back after a breakup but hasn’t mustered up the courage or ability to tell you yet.
• He’s been flirting with you
When a man realizes he lost you and wants to reverse the situation, he’s going to try to get closer to you. Oftentimes, he’ll do this by beginning to flirt with you. He knows that he was able to make you fall for him once, so he’s going to try to do it again and get you back. This is especially true if he’s not the type to flirt with just anyone.
So now that we’ve spoken a bit about the signs he or she regrets breaking up, what happens if you want your ex back but aren’t recognizing the signs I’ve outlined above? Does it mean that he or she doesn’t miss you or regret leaving you?
Of course not. Each person is entirely unique, so they will have their own way of showing “dumper’s remorse.” And yes, it is also possible that your ex is not feeling that way right now, but that does not mean that you can’t turn things around. But how do you do that?
Well, I’m glad you asked!
How to make your ex regret losing you and want you back: the 5 Keys
There are five crucial elements of making someone regret leaving you, and here they are:
• Present yourself in the best light possible. Become the absolute best version of yourself
• Show your ex that you’ve made improvements
• Make him or her realize that their life would be infinitely better with you in it
• Help your ex realize that you were meant for each other
• Spark the tiniest bit of jealousy in your ex
If don’t think your ex regrets breaking up with you, you’re going to have to give him or her an electroshock. I know it might sound scary, but we all know the expression, “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s lost.”
We want you ex to realize that he or she doesn’t want to lose you forever and that they’d be so much happier by your side. Now don’t get me wrong – sometimes a breakup is actually great. Wait, what?
Yes, you read that right. A breakup can be great because it highlights what needs to change and shocks you into taking action. When the stakes are high, you’re motivated to make big improvements, and these improvements can construct a very solid foundation for a healthy, happy, and long lasting relationship in the future.
So if you’re seeing signs she’s over you or signs he is not coming back, you’ve got to take action.
Sometimes you have to do something more radical in order for him or her to realize how much they really want you. You’re going to make your ex want to get closer to you and eventually admit their feelings for you. You want them to reestablish communication between you or even better – bring a bit of complicity back. That said, your ex will experience a real shock if you pretend to have found someone.Jealousy is one of our most human emotions, so it is imperative that you use it wisely.
In order to create this desire and attraction, your ex needs to feel like they’re really losing you. You can’t just be at his or her beck and call and make it easy for your ex to take you for granted. You just need to make sure that you’re using this tool wisely and not going overboard. For more in-depth information on how to make your ex jealous, I encourage you to read this article.
Now, as I was saying above, becoming the best version of yourself is one the most powerful things you could do. Your ex fell in love with you for a reason. So what happens when you remind him or her of the person they fell in love with and then become a new and improved version of them?
The key, contrary to what one might think, is not focusing on your ex – it’s about focusing on yourself! It’s up to you to succeed in getting your ex back and to do so you can’t just sit around waiting for things to change on their own. You have to take matters into your own hands.
You can create a new dynamic between you, whether it’s physically or psychologically, and to do so you’ve got to first incorporate it into your own life. It just needs to be sincere… If you’re playing a role, your ex is going to pick up on it, or one day or another, or you’ll end up being tired of pretending to be someone else. Making an ex want you back involves a power play so you’ve got to remain as in control as possible. As I often say in my coaching sessions, it’s best to take action instead of always having to react to what your ex is doing!
Remember to maintain your independence. Avoid any type of needy or clingy behavior and make your ex realize that you really don’t need them in order to be happy. You are perfectly capable of making yourself happy, and that type of attitude attracts others like moths to a flame. Moving forward and enjoying your life is going to spark a certain frustration in your ex, and this is very useful when you want him or her to get close to you again!
Right now, you might be seeing signs your ex doesn’t really want you back, so it’s up to you to change their mindset. You have to show him or her that you are different from other people, and that they’d be a fool to let you go.
Despite your feelings for your ex, sometimes you have to be inaccessible. Sometimes you need to be selfish, and even though this might seem counterintuitive, it’s going to show your ex that your world no longer revolves around them. Your life is interesting and attractive, and they’re going to want to become a part of it. You have to inspire them to try to work for the opportunity to get another chance.
I know that this might sound daunting and confusing, but we specialize in getting people back together with their exes so if you’d like to dive deeper into the how-to’s, just click here.
As always, we are here to help. Don’t hesitate to get in touch with us directly by clicking this link, or by leaving your question in the comments section below. We would be more than happy to personally respond to you.
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach for recognizing the signs your ex regrets breaking up with you