Tricks to see him again after a one night stand!

sex with an exYou went out on a bender and ended sleeping with him? You had a lot of fun and felt like the two of you connected but he has not contacted you since that one night of pleasure? You want to see him again after a one night stand but you are not sure how to proceed? If you are looking for advice on how to best move forward and get in touch with a man after a one night stand you are in the right place. This article will enable you to sort through your desires and expectations while ensuring that you get what expect from your last sexual encounter!

Rest assured, tons of women have asked themselves the same questions at some point in their lives: why hasn’t he called me back or reached out? Having a one night stand can be a lot of fun for both parties; however things can quickly become sticky if expectations differ following a casual sexual encounter.

As a relationship expert and love coach, I am constantly asked for love advice, or help people get back with their ex or find the one during private coaching sessions.

I have come to the realization that Men and Women often times do not view casual sex in the same way and this practice can thus have adverse effects on women who felt like intercourse was a beginning and not an end it itself.

The first question that you need to ask yourself is why do you want him to contact you? Is your ego hurting because you wish you had ended things on your terms? Did you really take a liking to the experience and were hoping to have found your sex friend?

Or do you think that you have developed feelings for him and want to turn one night of casual sex into a long term relationship? Be honest with yourself and identify your expectations, and we will provide you with a blueprint below on how to best meet your goals.

Your ego took a hit: You feel that you should be the one calling the shots!

This is a common reaction following a one night stand. Some women, especially the ones that are used to receiving a lot of attention, have trouble accepting the fact that a man is not looking to see them again. They ask themselves questions such as: how dare he not call me back? Or did I do something wrong?

How to get a guy to call after a date

Often times thinking that they have more to offer than the guy with whom they had a casual sexual relationship and thus have trouble coming to terms with the fact that they are not the ones who are calling the shots and in control of outcome.

If this is the situation that you find yourself in, here is our advice for you.

Don’t take yourself so seriously!

Who cares it’s just a one night stand! Odds are that if you find yourself in this situation, you probably were not looking for anything more anyways. You should consider yourself lucky to have been able to have a fun night of pleasure with no strings attached, drama free.

It is so easy to get hooked following a one night stand and for one of the parties to want something more, that you should be grateful that you can move on with your life without having to break someone’s heart or waste your time.

Furthermore, you probably should not take yourself so seriously. Realize that the guy has not contacted you back because of his own insecurities and it ultimately has little to do with you, so take it easy and don’t be so hard on yourself. Your ego will get over it!

You will have your chance to call the shots

Ask yourself this question: how long has it been since that night? A few days? A few weeks? The logical answer and most common theme in these situations is simply that not enough time has passed since that last hook up. Men are very predictable creatures.

Take our word for it; he will reach out eventually and probably sooner than you think!

You just want to be sex friends

Depending on your culture and where you live, sex is no longer as taboo as it once was in our modern society. The odds are that you or someone you knows already is or has been engaged in mutually beneficial sexual encounters also known as having a “fuck buddy”.

There is absolutely no shame in wanting just that. Often time women will meet a cool guy, whom they enjoy spending time with, who simply happens to be really really good in bed, who hits the right spots sort of speak and provides them with tremendous amounts of pleasure.

how can I get my wife back

For whatever reason you simply do not wish to commit to a formal relationship and all that comes with it. The only problem is that since that last hook up, he has been M.I.A, and has not checked in with you. If that is the situation that you are currently facing, we also have some words advice to help you turn things in your favor:

Wait until the weekend and reach out via a hot text

The best way to make your intentions clear is to be bold and direct and to capture his imagination with a sexy text message late at night! Don’t rush to reach out to him and try to engage in mundane conversation, it will send the wrong message and he will think that you want something more.

my ex called me

Odds are, actually, that he has not reached out to you sooner because he believes that you will expect to be in a serious relationship and he does not want to get your hopes up.

By waiting for the right moment, perhaps on a Friday or a Saturday night to send him a short, sexy message, you will send a clear message to him about what’s on your mind! If you do not have his number, you can reach out to him via private message on any social media platform.

This will work just as effectively as a text and we ensure you that it will trigger a desired reaction from him.

On the rare occurrence that you do not have any of his contact information, or even his name, we suggest occasionally going back to the place or bar where you met him that night. Remember men are creatures of habit, and you will bump into him there soon enough!

Once contact has been reestablished and you have hooked up on more than one occasion, make sure that you simply continue to play it cool and stay on script, only reaching out to him with sexual intentions and in flirty ways.

One thing will lead to the next, and before you know it and without any acknowledgment needed you will have found your new and dependable sex friend!

Be careful not to fall in love!

Word of caution to our readers seeking a sex buddy, feelings tend to arise with exposure and though repeated nights of pleasure with the same sexual partner! Often people’s intentions can change over time, even if ground rules have been mutually agreed upon.

help to get my ex back

Once a sexual relationship is pleasurable, fun and stress free, our subconscious guard is letdown and we can become dependent or even fall in love with the person that we vowed to only have casual sex with.

It can lead to an extremely complicated situation, when one party changes the rules of the game and another becomes vulnerable. Don’t say that we didn’t warn you!

How to see him again after a one night stand and transitioning to a committed relationship

Transitioning from a one night stand to a committed exclusive relationship can be a tricky endeavor. You must realize that more often than not, your decision to sleep with a guy was yours to make and that no guarantees were made on his part linked to that sexual encounter.

It implies that it would plain and simply be wrong for you to expect a smooth transition from a one night stand to a full blown relationship; he did not sign up for that.

However, it does not mean that it is impossible for you to win over his heart, and for him to want to, on his own terms, be in a committed relationship with you! If you find yourself in such a situation, patience will be the name of the game. Here is our advice to help you conquer his heart.

“The chase” and understanding the seduction game

You will have to partake in the seduction game and make sure to showcase your unique traits, what makes you different and special in order to make him fall for you and want to make you his. Winning a men’s heart through sex exclusively, is the wrong way to go.

Men will usually reluctantly choose to commit more than they have too, without an incentive. If they already have the best of both worlds, or if they have the opportunity to sleep with you without having to make a commitment, no strings attached, chances are that you will be waiting for that commitment for a long long time.

Furthermore, playing the “cool girl” card, the laid back girl who goes with it, is not the right way to maximize your chances of having a long term commitment.

THE # 1 relationship experts to get back with an ex

Seduction or “the chase” as I like to call it, is a game which can be fun if approached in the right way, or a chore and even nightmarish if the situation slips out of your control. With the right attitude however, “the chase” can be the most exciting and compelling element of a potential relationship.

I talk about this concept and how to maximize your chances of getting back with a man that you have feelings for in my Self Help Audio Seminar How To Get Him Back. This is Program encompasses years and years of research and success stories, so don’t hesitate to check it out if you want additional guidance to turn things around.

Like a poker game, ensure that you play your hand in the best possible way, showcase your strengths and put every chance on your side to capitalize on every tell to ultimately seize your chance when the moment his right.

Schedule sober dates during the day on your terms

In order not to fall into the casual relationship trap, ensure that you schedule dates on your terms and not his. We encourage going on fun dates, during the day, in environments where you are comfortable, where you can be yourself and showcase what makes you unique.

Do not settle for being the late night, post party, drunken booty call! Do not hesitate to refuse his sexual advances or sexy texts.

Don’t be mean or harsh, but always stay sweet or true to yourself. For example, do not hesitate to tell him that you would rather meet for brunch that next morning, or that you cannot meet up because you have made previous engagements for that night.

The key point here is to value yourself at all times and to always maintain the approach or position that he has more to lose than you at all times!

Do not lower your expectation and do not chase the bait

Staying true to ones’ self also entails not misinterpreting a given situation. Do not convince yourself that you are in a committed relationship when you are in fact engaging in a casual sexual relationship with a man.

Realize that the longer you have been engaged in a casual relationship, the more difficult it will be to flip the script and all of a sudden be in a serious committed one.

Lastly, remember to never lower the expectations that you have set for yourself and to never chase the bait and fall for his games. If a man is not willing to value you for what you are worth, and is ultimately not willing to take the necessary steps to make you his, you should swiftly move on and on your terms.

How to seduce him again

He was not the right man for you, and you will know this because you will value yourself accordingly as discussed previously.

Your love coach, here to help you see him again after a one night stand,


Life Coach, Motivational Speaker & Relationship Expert from

  • Laney

    We talked for over a month we finally had sex next day he acted weird we made a date night he canceled last min he was feeling well.. Then I texted him told him I didn’t feel a thing I wanna redo.. He said he’s not In a place looking for a relationship n doesn’t want friends you benefits but he likes me a lot so we stayed friends.. Then I started to act crazy cuz he would post pics of this girl he started to hang out n kept bothering him why he’s been distant he said nothing happened he’s just busy I kept bothering him n then accused him of saying that girl he said no he’s not but we argued then he got rid of my social media then I relaized I messed up I apologized we were cool but still distant I would say lets hang out he’ll be like sure but then he cancels I started to text him here n there n he would answer sometimes whenever he feels like I guess.. I know I fucked up n I want to fix it.. We had such an amazing time n had a great chemistry.. He’s the first guy ever showed me respect n I can’t stop thinking about him.. I even started dating another guy b the whole time I kept thinking about him.. There’s something about him n I just can’t give up.. What can I do to get him back.. Please help..

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Laney,
      Thanks for sharing your story, I want to help you. What bothers me the most about your story is the fact that you say that he is the first guy that ever showed you respect, and I think that you deserve to only be with men that will treat you right. I believe that I can help you win him back for good, by once again becoming a challenge for him and not chasing him around… but I think that we should also go through a process of personal development together to make sure that you can keep him around. Please reach out to me and book a coaching session in order for us to work together quickly. Hope to hear from you soon.

  • Kenner

    Do you have an email I can ask questions off line?

    • CoachAdrian

      Yes through the contact page, but I will most likely ask you to book a coaching session as i simply don’t have the time to address individual questions via email.
      All the best and hope to speak to you soon!

  • Felicity

    What should I text him the day after the ons after he texted me that it was really really great to meet me really nice..

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Felicity,
      Sorry I could get to your message now, please tell me how things have evolved in order for me to advise you accordingly.

  • Stephanie

    I had my first one night stand with this hot guy ive known for a while. Not in a sense wherein we’re actually friends, we’re not. I’ve just heard about him and him about me. We might have been introduced a couple times before but nothing that really mattered enough to remember. So i got really wasted with my bff one night and one of my guy friends called asking where i was, i told him i was out drinking in this club and turns out, he and his bros were out there drinking in the parking lot of the same club. I really had no intentions since one night stands arent my thing. Im a virgin actually. Not bec of some religious orientation or some shit, just that ive never really felt the need to get rid of it. So my friend and i are drunk and we walk towards my guy friend with 3 of his other HOT guy friends. One of the hot guys immediately makes the move on my girl and both guys try and chat me up. I was ignoring them for my guy friend. Eventually 2 of the guys including my guy friend decided to leave to get food for a bit. So i was left with one of the hot guys. Whom i knew to have a gf. And it kind of pissed me off how direct he was knowing he had a gf, he then proceeded to explain that theyre broken up as of the moment. “As of the moment” clearly meaning they’ll be getting back soon. I asked for proof and he showed me the text messages between them. Eventually we both left to get food of our own while both our friends made out and the other two went searching for food. I was too wasted to remember our conversation but he ended up feeding me from his spoon. Since our friends were making out in my car, they ended up draining the battery. So i couldnt leave just yet. He offered us a ride. So we all piled up in one car. With 4 of us at the backseat, it was pretty squished so he hoisted me on his lap. I was very aware of the heat radiating off his body then. Then he kissed my neck and i think all girls are with me when i say, the neck is the switch button for a girl’s libido. Eventually we ended up making out in the backseat. We dropped off everyone with me getting dropped off last since i was closest to where he lived apparently. Except he didnt drop me off, we went to a lodge to “sleep off the drunkness” but i think we both knew that wasnt what was gonna happen. So we make out again on the bed until all of our clothes come off and shit be damned, him getting his shirt off was the hottest live action ive gotten from a guy. The dude was ripped. He then proceeds to touch me there and then when he went to place his finger in me, he stilled for a bit and told me i was so tight. Okay so if you actually saw me in person, you wouldnt believe im a virgin. In fact, its probably just me, my ex and my cousin who knows ive never had sex yet. So i dismiss his compliment by reaching out for his zipper and he was all like no, you first. Then he ate me out. First head i ever received and gawd i shit you not, i squirted. He wouldnt stop eating me out all whilst claiming i had the yummiest vagina hes ever tasted. He then proceeded to position himself to my entrance and i was too high on pleasure to even notice. He asked my permission to put it in and thats when i realized i was about to lose my virginity so by shaky resolve i said no. I mean i waited this long to keep it with me at least not lose it in a drunken one night stand. Thats when he confirmed his suspicions and asked if i were a virgin, i said yes but lets pretend you dont know that tomorrow. So we just ended up making out til we both fell asleep, in the morning he asked if there would be a second time and at the moment, the thought itself made me cringe a thousand. I was so adamant on keeping that the one and only. So i told him no. He drove me home and ate me out one last time outside my house bec he wont ever get enough of my pussy or so he says. So the next day, it was all good. I was attending this fair my cousin was hosting and i was just there reading in a corner when he walks up to my cousin with his gf, he ddnt see me at first. When he saw me, he seemed to have stood in awkward silence so i broke it and went all like oh hey and then my cousin then proceeded to introduce us and i was like no we’ve met before, i think he was so scared id rat him out in front of the gf. I introduced myself to the girl and she mustve had the gfs intuition or something bec needless to say she was a bitch. Fast forward to the night later getting drunk with my girls, i forgot to sign my twitter out of my friends phone and after hearing me tell my one night stand tale, she follows him and sends him a dm!! I only notice it the next day when he replies with lol hey and i was mortified. So i apoligized told him my friend messed with me and i blocked him right away. I was so adamant on keeping it a one night only buried in the past thing. So the next day, thats when i felt the hoe in me unleashed. I guess its bec i started to feed on it, thats why it awakened bec i was horny af. And theres a shortage of hot guys in my area. 2 of which ive been previously linked with and im not going back to that. The others are my friend’s boyfriends and i wouldnt do that. So that left him in mind when i fantasized about getting eaten out again. So heres my problem. I want him to be my fuckbuddy or whatever. I am honest when i say i am not looking for a relationship. Im one of those ivy league politicians daughter driven types so i dont have room for shit that would end up with me crying in a bathroom for days when i should be studying. I want him to be my friends with benefits sans the friends, i dont even want to be his friend. I just need his skills to get me off. BUT hes in a complicated relationship with his monster of an ex and im not willing to risk my reputation if i come in between her and her trash talking on twitter. So how do i manage to snag him as my fuckbuddy? My conditions are srsly convenient. He could fuck a hundred girls if he wants as long as im one of it and i always come first whenever i need his expertise. Also, he stays clean. Id need his test results all the time. And no communication between us outside of planning our hookups. Neither one of us can get jealous and hes not to brag about it to people. Srsly, what guy wouldnt want that arrangement. So how do i do it with the crazy gf in tow?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Stephanie,
      Thanks for the long message, to give you appropriate feedback I would need to speak to you on the phone.
      Don’t hesitate to book a coaching session in order for us to work together and turn this around.

  • Jennifer

    Hi Adrian! So my story is this, I met a guy on a dating site. We had conversations strictly through the site for about a week before giving him my number. Our conversations were short but fun. I wouldnt text him during the day unless he sent a message first. Consequently, he asked me to have coffee with him. I obliged and our first face to face meeting went great. He’s attracted to me and vice versa. Later that evening he sent a text telling me goodnight. That conversation did not end there and by the end of it he asked if I would like to come over. I obliged. I knew deep down what I was getting myself into on my way over there. We had short conversation which led to a make out session and of course ended up in the bedroom. To be honest the sex was great, but so is his personality. My question for you is, how do I keep this situation from being just a hook up? Is there even a possibility to turn this situation into more than just casual sex?

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Jennifer,
      Thanks for sharing. I’m sorry about my delayed response; I’ve been tied up in coaching sessions. If you want to see him again about a one-night stand, you need to set a balance of power in the relationship, so he can’t be the only one who determines where the relationship is headed. If you’d like, let’s book a session and set up a roadmap.

  • Aria

    So I mer

  • Aria

    Hi! So my story might be pretty difficult I don’t know. I met this guy online and very fast we started texting. He would tell me he wanted a relationship but I thought it was too fast to want a relationship when you just met someone so clearly I knew he wanted sex. Finally we met in person for the first time and we did have sex and all I thought was I know he’ll stop talking me after or would take me home after, but we ended up cuddling talking for a little and he told me he really liked me and he wanted to stay with me. To be honest the sex was great and the way he made me feel as a woman was great too. Later that day he told me he was falling for me already and I believed him for a little because of the way he would look at me after we would kiss, he would hold my hand in the car, and even sing together in the car (I know corny) ,but 2 days after he literally said bye because he got jealous that an ex came to see me but I dissed him and the guy got furious even though I was honest. In the dating app he still checks my profile out. Would he talk to me again? Can this turn out into a casual sex relationship or not?

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Aria,
      Thank you for your share. You pose some great questions here – how do we determine if we’ll be able to see someone again after a one night stand situation? While you two were emotionally connected, the relationship was really short lived. Maybe he has trust issues from a previous relationship of his? Maybe he’s afraid that if you were able to sleep with him so fast, can you sleep with an ex or something else just as fast? When we’re dating someone, we have to prepare to learn and explore their past, as this is a huge influencer on how they are and will behave as partners. I think you can rekindle with him, but you’ll need to develop a strong strategy. If you’re up for it, I encourage you to book a session with me and we can do it together.
      All the best,
      Coach N.

  • butterfly3499

    I ended up sleeping with a guy that I met at the new year eve party. We live in a same neighborhood and it’s only a couple blocks away from each other. After sex, he walked me home. I thought we had a great time together. But I didn’t ask him his number and neither was he. I kept thinking about him and if I shluld leave him a card at his place since I don’t have his number. On the other hands, he may think that’s creepy. I’m hoping to bump him on the street but it’s busy city. I don’t even know what to say if I see him again. Should I try to leave a note??? Or just try to move on?

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Butterfly,
      Thank you for your share. Finding easy ways to see him again after a one night stand is tricky, but try considering who he hands out with. Who did you meet him through at the party? Men are ritualistic socializers, and so he’s likely to go to the same places frequently. If you can narrow down his key group of friends, you’ll get hints as to where he goes! Leaving a note could work, but since he knows where you live, he could also do the same – but hasn’t yet. So my advice to you is to keep it as organic as possible. He’ll respond better if he doesn’t feel pressure. If you need help with any of this, I encourage you to book a session with Adrian or myself. We’re here to help you strategize the perfect plan.
      Coach N.

      • Ellie

        Thanks for your advice! I didn’t meet him thru friends so I guess it wouldn’t work. You are right. If he’d want to reach me, he’d already been done it so. It was silly of me having a feeling for one night fling. Thanks again!

        • Coach natalie

          You’re welcome! It’s not silly at all. We’re human! He still may come back around, and there’s still a chance you’ll see him again soon. Just remember, organic is key to developing a one night stand into something long-term. Wishing you the very best!
          Coach N.

  • Ellie

    I ended up sleeping with a guy that I met at the new year eve party. We live in a same neighborhood and it’s only a couple blocks away from each other. After sex, he walked me home. I thought we had a great time together. But I didn’t ask him his number and neither was he. I kept thinking about him and if I shluld leave him a card at his place since I don’t have his number. On the other hands, he may think that’s creepy. I’m hoping to bump him on the street but it’s busy city no guarantee. I don’t even know what to say if I see him again. Should I try to leave a note at his apt concierge desk? Or should I just try to move on?

  • Flower7899

    Dear Coach Natalie, I had a one night stand with a guy I ‘ve meet the same night. After having sex we cuddled and during cuddling, he kept giving me soft kisses. The next day he texted and asked if I wanted to come over at his place. I called him and told him that I would come over but later texted him to say that I was not coming over anymore because I had an early morning meeting (he did not respond to the text). The next day I texted him asking if he would like to go for drinks. He texted back 2 hours later and said not tonight as he was travelling the next day. Once he returned back from his trip, he still did not reach out to me. One night I saw him pulling up to his apartment and decided to stop to say hello. He was quite nice and we talked for a while. I then asked him when will we go out again(he said that things were a bit hectic right now and once things calm down that we can go for drinks) and he then said to text him my number. I texted him and told him that it was nice to see him again and for him to contact me once things are less hectic for him. He responded by saying ” it was nice to see you too, I will let you know”. Is this a brush off line?