Easter and especially Christmas are approaching fast so vacation time is drawing near. After a hard year of work, you’re finally going to be able to relax and be far away from stress from work. A few weeks ago this subject came up when I was coaching Julian who is trying to get back together with his ex. He unfortunately has found himself in a sticky situation because he has two non-refundable tickets to a country that would make anyone (especially me!) drool. You might be wondering what the problem is. Well, the second ticket is reserved for… his ex. His ex that left him a few weeks before. His dream vacation that had been planned far in advance is looking more like a nightmare than anything.
Nevertheless, there are multiple ways to see things, especially from my point of view as an expert on getting back together! In my opinion, you should ask yourself if there is something positive to be taken from the situation if your goal is to get back together with your ex. Is it a lost cause? Should Julian forego his trip or should he go on vacation with an ex?
Many people feel that spending a week with the person that left them is out of the question. However, you’re going to learn that this type of situation is significant and that there are certain elements that are going to help you as you try to get back with your ex.
Is going on vacation with an ex a good idea?
At first sight, going on vacation with an ex doesn’t seem like the brightest idea. I might even say that most people feel so bitter that they’d never even consider doing this. But of course there are certain cases in which they “have to” do this. In Julian’s case, if he didn’t go he would have wasted hundreds and hundreds of dollars and would have had to spend his vacation at home.
When you have children with your ex you’ll be connected for the rest of your lives. Even though you’ve separated, spending time with your kids and your ex isn’t out of the ordinary when both exes are single. You want to give your children a certain image of stability, make memories that they’ll remember forever, and discover the world together. Kids, especially when they’re young, can be deeply affected by not seeing their parents together. This is why going on vacation with your ex isn’t as rare as you might think. Under these circumstances, taking a trip with your ex won’t create tensions between you.
Sometimes a breakup happens between the booking and the departure. As I mentioned in the beginning of this article, one of the people I’m coaching is currently in this situation! A lot of couples have to go on vacation together despite the breakup because of financial obligations. It’s true that neither person involved wants to waste hundreds of dollars. Under these circumstances you’re going to have to thicken your skin and not let your emotions (bitterness, sadness, etc…) take control.
Is distance better for getting back together?
“I’ve decided that I’m going to get my ex back while we’re on vacation” and this is something that could work really well if the conditions are right. Even if this type of situation seems like a pretty big deal to most people, doesn’t going on vacation with your ex seem like the ideal opportunity to make them fall for you again? Why not take advantage of the situation in order to reestablish attraction between you and give your love story another chance?
Taking a trip with your ex has some great advantages that you might not be aware of. The simple fact of being far from home is already something positive. You’re both far from the routine of your daily life. You can discover new places, meet new people… Seeing different things can change you and your ex’s attitude because this will topple your daily routine. Always doing the same things and seeing the same people can make your life feel lackluster.
Discovering a new place could change everything, especially if the place looks like paradise.
Being on vacation also gives you the opportunity to relax and to unwind which in turn makes it easier to have a calm and constructive conversation. You’ll be able to reestablish communication if it had become damaged and it’ll help you put things into perspective regarding the relationship. Suggest taking a walk with your ex, or checking out a neighboring town together, the beach or even a new activity so that you can get closer and gently bring up the past when you’re alone together. This is the perfect situation for reestablishing attraction, bringing back affinity and desire between you. You just have to find the right words.
So my dear readers, what do you think about going on vacation with your ex?
Your coach for making going on vacation with an ex feel doable.
Sincerely,
Adrian
3 Responses
Me and my ex split up 8 weeks ago I did no contact for 30 days and we’ve had a few dates, a few intimate nights and a massive drunken arguments since. he’s done all the chasing and getting in touch and I thought we were heading for a reconciliation until the above argument. we’ve a holiday booked in just under 4 weeks time. And although he’s made it absolutely clear he doesn’t love me like he used to do, he is adamant he’d love us to go together. AS A COUPLE ?!? I’m still so in love with him I don’t know whether to go and see if we can work things out of just cut my losses. I don’t think I can bare 10 days acting like we’re together then going our separate ways on our return !!! So confused !!!
Hey,
I think that you should go in order to use this vacation as an opportunity for a reboot and to make him fall in love for you all over again. Book a coaching session with me in order to provide you with a plan!
Sincerely,
Adrian
My ex and I just called off our engagement a few days ago. And now due to hurricane threatening out home we are forced to evacuate to a cabin in Tennessee for a week with her family who I have resented for so long and was part of our breakup slowly along with us not accepting one another. We have 9 month old son and she feels we can never be together again because we have been together again. We have been together since we were teenagers on and off. I want her back but then again I don’t.