When it comes to relationships with age disparities, the team here at WithMyExAgain.com believes that age is really only a number. What is age really other than tally marks of your life? Age literally just indicates how many times your body has revolved around the sun while existing on planet earth. So how much bearing could it really have on the type of person you are or who you love?
Human beings are a species that has developed to use their brain function with optimum efficiency in order to save as much energy as possible. That’s why we generalize and make assumptions in our everyday lives instead of gathering every single minute detail to make hard assessments. It’s all to save time and energy. The same applies when using age to make assumptions about a person.
So, when people say, “we broke up because of age difference” what does that really mean? That the corresponding numbers between to individuals are too far apart… or too close? Sounds kind of silly at face value, doesn’t it? And at some point in the beginning of the relationship, age wasn’t a big enough factor to keep you from being together, so something must have changed along the way.
If you’re asking “what should i do if my ex broke up with me because of age difference,” you’ve come to the right place. We deal with all different sorts of relationships at our firm, whether its older man/younger girl, or vice-versa. What we specialize in is helping people find perspective and common ground, not focus on the fault lines that naturally occur in every relationship.
When you say “we broke up because of age difference” it wasn’t really because of age, but rather that your individual life experiences up to that point had caused you and your partner to seem like you are at odds with each other, or incompatible. It’s not the quantity of the years separating you that matters, but the quality of the years that each of you has experienced on your own that counts. And ultimately, those qualities are what you need to bring to the table of your relationship in order to make it work.
What should i do if my ex broke up because of age cap
I hope this is obvious to you and to most people, if you are upset about a break up that you did not want, and fully intend to make amends and get your ex back, the first step towards doing so is understanding why.
You shouldn’t assume, “we broke up because age difference, and that’s it.” You need to understand what truly led to the breakup. Was it societal pressures? Was it your ex’s insecurity of being in a relationship with such a huge age difference? Was it a lack of maturity on either one of your parts? Did either one of you fail to see the bigger picture and focus on the content of your characters, not how long your characters have been roaming the earth?
For example, If one of you is in your early twenties while the other is in your mid forties, did the younger fail to accept that the older has certain responsibilities and duties to tend to like keeping and making a home, or fulfilling career goals that have already been set on their path for years now? Did the older fail to see, or rather, accept, that the younger hasn’t had a chance or been given the necessary opportunities to ripen into maturity?
At the end of the day, relationships end and break-ups happen not because of age difference in relationship, but because either one party was too neglectful, or too attentive to a fault. The example I gave above would fall into the neglect column because, to keep it simple, one person neglected to understand the other’s current place and circumstance in life.
However, that is just one example. Whether it be societal pressures, maturity or lack thereof, etc., its all falls under a failure to understand and empathize. Only once you understand what triggered this breakup, is it then possible to know what you have to do to turn things around.
I’m here to tell you that it’s not the age difference in relationship that matters. What really matters is your overall attitude, maturity, chemistry and connection. Your compatibility in all these things will truly determine your ability to ultimately build a common life project together.
Think about it. What difference does the age make when your 55 year old ex can run laps around you, hold a conversation with most of your peers of your age group, and carry himself with the swag of a young exec, and still be able to partake with people his age (caveat: it is my strong opinion that the older of the two in a relationship should be making an income commensurate with his or her time in the workforce.
I recommend that you not be a 50 or 60 year old without a fat bank account to show for it, all extenuating circumstances aside, of course).
In this case, you won’t be saying “we broke up because of age difference,” you’ll be saying “we broke up because i couldn’t keep up!” Break-ups, particularly where one is handling age difference in a break up, can lead one to focus on their shortcomings that can be mistakenly due to age or lacking in life-experience.
I urge you to abstain from this type of behavior and thinking. Play to your strengths, don’t focus too much of your attention on the down sides of why the relationship failed. All you need to do is acknowledge why it failed and then adjust accordingly if you’re going to make attempts at getting your ex back.
We broke up because of age difference : how can i get back my ex
As I stated before, break-ups due to age relationship difference are no different than break-ups for any other reason: they are all due to either neglect or over-attentiveness. And the same tactics apply to any age group.
You’ll come to find that as you grow older, excluding any traumatic experiences, that people may behave differently due to learned experiences and behaviors that one has picked up over the years, but we are all essentially still the same person in our core at 65 than we were at 25. So it doesn’t matter if you’re telling yourself, “we broke up because of age gap.”
A man is never too old or too young to focus on finding himself to regain his appeal and sense of masculinity, which means living with drive, purpose, vision, and conviction. (HT) Conversely, a woman is never too young or too old to regain her sense of independence and to stop seeking validation from her ex or any other man. It is important that a woman behave as if she were the ultimate prize.
But I want to be cautious of generalizations and gender stereotypes. This is 2018 after all! Biologically speaking, all humans have both principal sex hormones: testosterone and estrogen. Men obviously have more testosterone than estrogen, while it’s vice versa for women.
In that sense, both genders need to convey a sense of both the masculine and the feminine. Women can and should exhibit those traits of drive, purpose, and conviction that are mostly attributed to men. Men will just as well at some point have to come to terms with their own sense of independence, act as if they have a crown on their heads, and learn to live without the validation of anyone.
It can be said that perhaps it wasn’t the age relationship difference that caused your breakup but rather the inability of one of you to fully embrace both the masculine and the feminine, which is a sure sign of maturity, personal development, and understanding.
During a break up, a person needs to come to terms with themselves and their shortcomings individually if they want to get their ex back. This is simply self-development. But one will eventually need to take actions, or inaction with a purpose, directed at their ex and the break up.
For this type of scenario, we think that radio silence may be necessary to regain control of the power struggle. Radio silence is as standard to getting an ex back as a field goal after a touchdown is to football. The reason is because it sets up a standard of value and self-worth for the person who is executing it.
Simply put, it lets the other person know that you have better things to do than pining over them and reaching out to them or sitting around, waiting for them to contact you. Let’s say if in my relationship, we broke up because of age gap, and I’m the younger half of the relationship, this technique would be effective in my favor because it shows discipline, self-control, impulse control, and maturity on my part.
It allows me to show my ex that she may be older than me, but mentally and emotionally I’m her equal, and I have better things to do than to long for her and wait for her to call me. Now, if I were the older half, this proves the same, but the difference is that as the older person, these behavioral attributes – discipline, self-control, impulse control, maturity – are expected of me. Think about it as starting a semester with an “A” and all you have to do is keep the A.
Radio silence is merely a first step however, and a follow-up to it, after enough time has passed, could be an accountability letter. It is a soft, yet impactful approach without the confrontation of a direct phone call, or the heightened anticipation of a text and e-mail that can be mistakenly expected to be answered right away due to its instantaneous nature. This may be a good idea to ultimately reconnect with her and start a clean slate.
Age relationship difference is it a real obstacle
Handling an age difference in a break up is no easy feat. There’s bound to be a lot of false assumptions about the other’s mental and emotional maturity, or lack thereof. But the truth is “age ain’t nothin’ but a number.” (HT) You may be saying, “My ex is older than me, and I don’t know if I can stand up to him [or her]”.
But the age difference isn’t the obstacle, your mind is. Handling in age difference in a break upis a game of the mind. You really need to see your ex, the person you want back, as your equal in order to reconcile with them and restart your relationship.
This is especially important because this is the dynamic that needs to be fostered and nurtured in a healthy relationship either way. Relationships where one holds more influence or sway over the other seldom work. And if they do, (working in this case meaning “staying together”) chances are it will not be a happy union, or reunion.
Age relationship difference is no obstacles at all. The only obstacle is your mind and yourself. Now, look at yourself in the mirror and say, “My ex is older than me. I got already had their heart once. I can get it back.”
This is especially important because this is the dynamic that needs to be fostered and nurtured in a healthy relationship either way. Relationships where one holds more influence or sway over the other seldom work. And if they do, (working in this case meaning “staying together”) chances are it will not be a happy union, or reunion. Age relationship difference is no obstacles at all. The only obstacle is your mind and yourself.
Your age doesn’t stop you from sticking up for yourself, and making your opinions or feelings known and valid to your older or younger ex. Just because your ex doesn’t agree with your sentiments because they have a prejudice about your age, doesn’t make your feelings or thoughts any less valid. Make this clear to them.
It’s not about age, its about self-respect, demanding and earning respect from others, and reciprocating that respect. Maturity and understanding has no age limit, and as long as we are all exercising these traits, age really will be nothing but a number in terms of your relationship. Now, look at yourself in the mirror and say, “My ex is older than me. I got already had their heart once. I can get it back.”
I’m here for all of you who saying, “We broke up because of age difference.”
– Coach Steven