When you want someone back, you’ve got to pay attention to maintaining a balance between being too present and too distant. If you’re wondering what to do if she doesn’t call back, it means that you may have been a bit too present recently.
You’re going to have to switch things up right now and show her that you aren’t predictable. You’re going to show her that you aren’t clingy or needy, and I am going to give you the key for making her want to reach out to you. When you’re working on trying to make her want you back, there are certain do’s and don’ts, and I am going to go over those throughout this article!
She ignored my texts and my calls… Why?
Typically, when a person starts ignoring someone, it’s because they’ve been given reason to want space. Something was making them feel like they needed to impose distance and get in control of the situation.
I often see this happen when a person feels desperate to do whatever it takes to get their ex back that they send message after message – phone call after phone call.
When she doesn’t text back, he panics and decides to try harder. He tries to come up with what to text when she doesn’t respond.
He keeps trying and trying until she gets to a point where she begins to feel suffocated.
It’s a common mistake, but the consequences can be monumental. The moment that she feels suffocated, she’s going to want to get away from you. Each message from you will be viewed as something irritating, and each one is more and more so.
Now that’s not to say that some people aren’t just less responsive when it comes to texting and calling. They can be great conversationalists in person, but they’re just not big on using their phones.
I have a really good friend who does this. I’ll send him a message and it’ll take him four days to send me a reply! The reply is always very detailed and animated, but I’ve caught myself wondering if he was ignoring me once or twice.
But you know your ex better than I do – if she used to text or call you back in a timely fashion and now she’s not, something might be up.
So once again, she might be feeling overwhelmed, suffocated and pressured. Another possibility is that she’s started seeing someone else to help her get over the breakup. In this case, you can approach the situation as a rebound relationship.
If you suspect that this might be the case, I encourage you to click the link to find out more on what you can do to make her want you instead of someone else.
I know that right now you’re thinking, “She ignored my text” and you’re feeling pretty frustrated about it, but there are various things you need to avoid doing at all costs – no matter how tempting they may be…
What to AVOID doing when she doesn’t text back!
A good friend of mine was telling me a story recently. He saw one of his friends do pretty much everything you shouldn’t be dong when you’re trying to develop proper communication with an ex that you’re trying to get back.
He knew a man, let’s call him Kyle, who undid all the hard work he had put in in regards to getting his ex back with one foul swoop. One of the reasons his ex broke up with him was that he had a lot of trouble controlling his emotions – especially when it came to anger. He would blow up and say things he didn’t mean, and these things left a lasting mark on his ex.
So he had begun valiantly working on fixing his bad habits and proving to his ex that he had learned from his mistakes and had changed.
The problem was that he wasn’t able to find that balance between being just distant enough to pull her in and make her want to get closer to him. He wasn’t leaving her the opportunity to miss him… which is something I’ll get into in a moment.
So, he would call her over and over and then one day she simply stopped answering the phone. She’d call him back maybe the next day, but then she stopped calling him back altogether.
This frustrated him of course, and he started calling her incessantly. I mean this woman would probably have five missed calls from him whenever she looked at her phone after work.
She was thinking, “Ok wow, you need to leave me alone.” She ended up not replying because she wanted to make a point. She would talk to him when she felt like talking to him – not when he was blowing up her phone. He caught on to this and it just made him mad.
What happened next, you might ask?
Well, Kyle went to the magical world of Facebook where people like to post status updates about their feelings…
He thought he had found the answer to “What to do if she doesn’t call back.” He was so angry that she was blatantly ignoring him and so frustrated with the situation, that he decided to post a picture. And no, not just any picture.
It was a picture from a recent trip to Vegas of him with his arms around four scantily clad women at a club. Let’s just say that it wasn’t the type of place you’d tell your mother you went to. He posts the picture with a very simple caption:
“When she doesn’t text back 😎”
And voilà. He got a text from his ex, yes, but it was not what he wanted to hear.
“That’s pathetic, please don’t ever contact me again.”
Ouch. She thought it was a childish thing to do, it embarrassed her because they had many mutual friends on Facebook that were witnessing the demise of their relationship, and to made her realize that this isn’t the type of guy she wants to give a relationship another shot with.
To summarize, some of the biggest no-no’s of getting an ex girlfriend back are suffocating her, harassing her, and acting out compulsively without controlling your emotions.
Others include threatening her, spreading rumors about her behind her back, and begging her to take you back. Alright, so what DO you do?
What to do if she doesn’t call back or answer your texts
Easy. Give her space.
But that’s not all! Yes, you should not try to force her to talk to you because that’s just going to make her resent you, but you’ve also got to give her reason to actually want to engage in conversation with you.
As of now, she’s not feeling very inspired by you. She might also be feeling exhausted or frustrated with the situation, so she’s choosing to just keep her distance.
If you’ve been blowing up her phone too much, don’t worry. It’s not great, but it’s not the end of the world. Just stop doing it right now!
First of all, you need to get your mind off of talking to her right now. You’re probably wondering, “Will she text me later today?,” or “If she doesn’t text back is she not interested?!”
It’s easy to fixate on these things when they’re at the forefront of your mind, so we need to get you busy thinking about other things and doing other things. Start hitting the gym (more) so that you can clear your head and get your endorphins flowing.
Pick up old hobbies that you left on the back burner, start putting a lot of energy into getting ahead at work, and start exploring new bars and restaurants with your friends.
If your life does not look interesting to your ex, why would she make any effort to be a part of it?
You want to attract her into your life. What’s more, if you stop going out of your way to message her, she’s going to begin to wonder where you went.
Why aren’t you messaging her? Have you lost interest? We all have our pride and her interest will be sparked… Yes, it’s a bit of reverse psychology, but it’s part of the process.
Getting an ex back is a complex process and the very first step is giving her the opportunity to miss you. Then there are tools like the no contact rule that could greatly benefit you, and I invite you to click here to find out more on how to get her back for good!
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when she doesn’t call back
Adrian
