I have many clients that come to me when their No Contact period is coming to an end. They’ve understood the power of this technique and they’ve been sticking to it, but now that it’s soon going to be time to get back in touch with their ex, they are worried that they don’t quite know how. This is a crucial step in the process of getting an ex back, so it’s important to make sure you do it in a way that’s going to help you get closer to your goal!
I also have many people come to me for help when a long time has passed since the last time they spoke to their ex, and they realized that they want them back. Knowing what to say to your ex after a long time isn’t the easiest thing in the world, but don’t worry. You’ve found an article that’s going to help you reestablish a communication platform with your ex!
In the first section of this article, I’m going to go over what to say to your ex after a NC period, and I’ll also discuss how to talk to someone you still love that you haven’t seen or heard from in ages. It can be scary because it feels like you’re putting yourself out there again, but don’t worry. You are in good hands!
Contacting an ex after when it’s time to end your NC Period
One of the most common questions people ask me in person, and one of the more frequent questions that people post on my YouTube videos is, “Adrian, can you please tell me how I should get back in touch with my ex after no contact and what exactly I should say?”
I know it’s scary when you’re trying to mentally prepare yourself for going a couple weeks, or even a couple months without speaking to your ex. You might begin to panic and worry about how exactly you’re going to be able to reconnect. You want answers!
At the end of the day, it’s not so much how you’re going to reach out and get back in touch or what you’re going to say; it’s all about your state of mind. It’s about what you’ve been able to do and what you’ve been able to accomplish, how much you’ve changed during the NC period and how you’re feeling now. Ultimately the thing that will determine whether or not you are successful in getting them back is your MINDSET.
The method in which you get back in contact with your ex and the things you choose to say are just means to convey your psyche, your state of mind and what you have to offer.
Don’t fixate too much on the means because you’ll just be focusing on your ex. This is when people make mistakes and place their ex on a pedestal. In doing so, you’d just be spending your energy in the wrong way. Right now you’ve got to be focused on yourself, achieving the goals that you have set for yourself, and your wellbeing.
When it comes to contacting an ex, be careful not to focus too much on the way you’re going to do it. It’s important, but it’s only one aspect. In fact, it isn’t the most important aspect.
The thing to focus on is the process of growth and personal transformation. If you focus on that, the rest will naturally fall into place.
Now, I know you do want to know what to say to an ex after a long time so I will go over some for you. A couple things to keep in mind is that it shouldn’t be uncomfortable or scary for you, and your ex shouldn’t be in a position where they feel threatened. We need to find the perfect balance. We need to find the way to show your ex that you’ve changed, grown, and evolved, and at the same time we don’t want to come across too aggressively.
Sometimes a simple text message will do the trick. If you see your ex on a regular basis, you can reconnect in person, and if you’ve made serious mistakes and lost credibility along the way, you can use the handwritten letter technique. For more information on how to write the perfect handwritten letter, just click the link!
You need to show true growth and not make empty promises. We don’t want to just put a bandaid on the situation, we want to make sure it can heal properly so that your future relationship with your ex can be stronger than ever before! If you have questions about whether or not the letter is the right choice for you, don’t hesitate to leave your question in the comments section below or get in touch with us directly here!
Structured hard work pays off, and that’s what your ex needs to see if they’re going to take you back.
Shortcuts and mind games are going to damage your chances of longterm success. If you put in the work and make the necessary changes, the way you choose to get back in touch ultimately won’t matter anymore.
Now, what if it’s just been a really long time since you’ve spoken, but you weren’t using NC or any other specific tool?
I want to talk to my ex but it’s been so long… Here’s what to say to an ex after a long time
Whatever your situation might be, you probably have a million thoughts running through your head right now. What is my ex going to say? What if I don’t get a reply?
But the biggest question of all is HOW to get back in touch and WHAT to say to an ex after a long time. So I wanted to go over the different methods that you can use when it’s been a long time since the last time you spoke to this person.
The crowd favorite seems to be the good old fashioned text message. It’s non-invasive, non-aggressive, and it allows you to keep a comfortable distance as you ease yourself into the situation. You can also use Facebook messenger or Instagram…
This is best if you’ve been able to communicate via messages before.
When it comes to getting in touch, there are three key things that I want you to keep in mind. First of all, keep things casual and friendly. You don’t want to come on too strong or make your ex feel threatened or uncomfortable. Avoid diving headfirst into topics like your breakup, the heartache you experienced, and how much you want to be with him or her again.
When you’re contacting an ex after months, a year, or maybe even years, make sure you keep it lighthearted and upbeat.
Next, make sure that you’re the one that end the conversation by saying things like, “I’m so sorry but I have to run, some friends are waiting for me. We’ll catch up soon!” This way your ex sees that you have things going on and that your universe does not revolve around him or her. You don’t want them to think that all you want to do right now is talk to them… Which brings me to the third thing.
When you contact ex partners you still have feelings for, don’t blow your cover. What I mean by that is that you should not let them know that you are getting back in touch because you miss them being your partner. If you jump the gun on this, your ex could put up their defenses and close communication.
The goal is to build re-attraction, flirtation, and complicity. In doing so, you’re going to start drawing your ex nearer and they will naturally want to start spending more time with you. Make sure you don’t flat out ask your ex to take you back. You have to operate through actions, and in talking to an ex, you’ll be able to rebuild that complicity that brings you closer together.
If you’re looking for what to say to your ex after a long time, one of my favorite openers is messaging them about something that happened that reminded you of them. Something preferably funny or related to an inside joke you guys had. Humor is always a great way to get in touch with people.
Just think about how to get in touch with your ex in a way that would make him or her want to talk to you more! If you’re unsure of whether or not they’ll actually reply, you can open with something like, “You’ll never believe what just happened!”
Think about something that would be hard to resist replying to!
Just remember that you’ve done the work and you’re doing the work, and you know what you bring to the table. Believe in yourself and like I said, it’s all about your mindset.
I am always here to help, so don’t hesitate to reach out.
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you’re wondering what to say to an ex after a long time