If you’ve read some of my articles before, you’ve probably heard me mention the fact that human beings have a terrible habit of taking things for granted. Unfortunately, it seems that your ex is taking you for granted right now, despite the fact that you really want to get back together… Because this is such a common theme in our lives, this is something that I deal with on a regular basis with my clients. The first instinct is to panic and maybe even make mistakes when you realize that your ex is taking you for granted.
Unfortunately this does not get us any closer to our goal, so we need to change our approach. In today’s article I want to give you a little bit of insight into human nature and how you can use it in order to spark your ex’s interest in you again. I will explain what is going on in your ex’s mind and how you can adapt your approach to ensure that he starts to see you as an exciting challenge again. So when he takes you for granted, ignore him, and you’ll start to see a very interesting shift…
When he takes you for granted ignore him: Why this works
As I began saying, it is human nature to take things for granted that are readily available to us.
When you feel like something already belongs to you, like you don’t have to work for it, and like it will always be there no matter what, it becomes dangerously easy to take it for granted. Sadly the same concept can be applied to human relationships.
Taking someone for granted can cause tensions in the relationship, but also after the break up – especially when you are hoping to get back together with someone.
The key to getting an ex back is making him or her understand that you are the prize, so when you are being taken for granted, it means that something needs to change.
Taken for granted: Julia’s story
A lot of my clients ask me how this happens. At the beginning of the relationship, they felt like they were the center of their ex’s universe and that their ex would have done anything for them.
Just this morning I was talking with Julia who explained, “When we first started dating, Andrew would move heaven and earth for me. He would go out of his way every single day to make sure that I was happy and felt loved. He would say things like, “I can’t believe I’m with you, you’re so incredible. I never thought that I’d ever be this lucky in my life.”
And then after a while all of that changed. He became distant and I felt like he was uninterested, and then when we finally broke up, I started to really feel like he just doesn’t care.
How can someone go from being so loving to being so indifferent?”
What makes him take you for granted
One of the most common problems that threaten relationships comes in the form of putting someone on a pedestal. This can happen so easily, especially when you’re deeply in love, simply because you want to make sure that your partner feels the love you have for him.
You’ll start to do everything in your power to make him feel loved and cherished, but little by little he starts to realize that he doesn’t have to work to earn your love anymore. He just has it and it doesn’t seem like it is going anywhere, so why would he have to make the effort?
Human beings are lazy when they are offered the opportunity, and this situation is no different.
Now that the break up has taken place, he is taking you for granted simply because he is not afraid to lose you.
If you have been bending over backwards to make sure he knows that you’re still there for him, he can rest assured that you aren’t going anywhere.
The problem of course, is that he is only going to continue to take you for granted, and this is pushing you further away from your goal is making him want you back.
Why letting him chase you works
Up until now, your ex has gotten used to having you at his beck and call. So what happens when he receives an electro shock that makes him realize that he isn’t the center of your universe anymore?
For a moment, I want you to think about a child. I was playing with my friend’s two year old daughter the other day and it actually illustrated a very interesting point about human nature.
Ava had a pile of Barbies that she likes to play with. By looking at some of them, you could tell that she has had them for a while. I had a new Barbie for her because it was her birthday, so I gave her the present. She was overjoyed and it seemed like all she wanted to do was play with her new Barbie.
It appeared as though she had forgotten completely about the barbies she had already had and could not be less interested in them.
So I thought I would try something out. I started trying to get her to play with some of the Barbie said she already had. She honestly could not care less about them. Then I said, “Ok Ava, so you don’t need this anymore, right? Can I take it?”
Pointing at one of the barbies she had clearly had for a while. I started to put it in my jacket pocket but stopped when she started to have a meltdown about it. I then proceeded to get an earful about how it is hers, I am not allowed to take it away, and that she needed it, and that I was very, very bad.
Interestingly enough, this concept can be applied to your ex-boyfriend. He has been taking you for granted because he has been feeling like you still “belong to him” in a certain sense, and you aren’t going anywhere.
By showing him how much you care and want to be with him, he feels reassured that you’re around, should he ever feel like getting close to you again.
So if you want to know what to do when he pulls away and takes you for granted, it’s all about changing the way that he sees you.
How to make a guy realize he’s losing you and stop taking you for granted
The biggest problem that we encounter in these types of situations is seeking validation from an ex. It is perfectly natural that you would want some kind of reassurance that your ex still cares for you, so you try to stay close and show your ex how much YOU care.
Another common mistake that people in this situation make is trying to rush things. The process of getting an ex back needs to actually become a process of personal development if you really want it to work. If you try to rush things and skip steps, you run the risk of putting your ex on a pedestal and not approaching the situation and way that can guarantee you long-term results.
In other words, instead of seeking validation from an ex who takes you for granted, you need to find validation within yourself.
This is the first step of getting back together with someone. When you start to rebuild your self-
confidence and feel more confident about what you bring to the table, you will also start to grab your ex’s attention in a very good way.
So you can start to shift the odds in your favor by employing some of the most powerful techniques available for making a man chase you, respect you, and want you back. The most well-known of these techniques is called the no contact rule.
It consists of cutting communication with your ex for a predetermined period of time while you work on becoming the new and improved version of yourself. When your ex realizes that he does not have easy access to you, he is going to receive an shock… especially when he sees that you are becoming that 2.0 version of the woman he fell in love with.
This is also a time to zero in on negative patterns that have been built throughout the relationship, and it is very important that you start actively working on defining and implementing long-term solutions.
Right now, we want this man to genuinely fear losing you, so that means that you need to shift the dynamic between you. Instead of bending over backwards for a man who took you for granted, you need to center your focus on your own well-being and personal development.
For more information on how to use the no contact rule and really harness its power, I encourage you to click this link right away.
When it comes to how to make a man who took you for granted realize that he’s losing you, you need to get in control of the situation. I recommend reading this article on how to bounce back from a breakup and put some distance between you so that you can make a stronger comeback.
It is in your power to change the way that this man sees you and what he’s willing to do to keep you in his life! We are here to help you every step of the way so please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me or member of my team by clicking here. You can also leave any questions you may have in the comment section below.
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when he takes you for granted and you want to ignore him
Adrian
