Breakups are one of life’s challenges. It’s often very hard to know which way to turn, how to proceed during this period, and what attitude to adopt in order to keep your head up and maintain a connection despite what’s happened.
After a separation, anger, bitterness and many other negative feelings can take over your spirit and make it really hard to stay in touch, even just in a platonic way. If you’re hoping to take matter into your hands and end this situation to once again find happiness; know that you’re completely right in taking some initiative. This will be good for you, but also for your ex.
Nevertheless, if you’re reading these lines it’s probably because you’re searching for help to know how to proceed; and I imagine that you want specific guidance. Discover how to greatly improve your chances of getting back together, even when you’re in the middle of a divorce; and how both of you can once again find happiness or bounce back from the psychological shock that you’ve just experienced. If you are wondering “can feelings come back and can we get back together?” Know that there are different actions and techniques available to help you ensure that positive emotions do come back; and they’re right beneath your eyes so don’t wait any longer!
Was the breakup really unexpected?
A breakup is rarely a surprise and it never happens without reason. There are always warnings that can alert you to what’s brewing. However I’ve seen a great number of people go through a breakup without having sensed it coming. It was as if everything was peachy in the relationship and then from one day to the next this disaster took place.
Though there are many signs, a person also has to be able to recognize and understand them. Sometimes, things aren’t going so well in your relationship and subconsciously you’re aware of it. You know you have to do something but you remain passive. If you really didn’t see it coming at all then you most likely weren’t paying enough attention to your significant other and you were completely wrapped up in your own happiness and well-being. You had forgotten about your partner.
There are different reasons that can explain the end of a relationship. Infidelity is probably the worst one, but then there’s when a person’s professional life is more important than their family life, or when routine settled in to your relationship and nothing was moving forward anymore. You and your ex no longer felt the need to be together. A separated couple is generally the result of one of these issues.
But what we are interested in today is more how you broke up instead of why. In other words, was it a calm separation or did it end in explosive fights?
It’s important to note that the way in which a relationship ended is going to determine the actions required to rebuild it. If you and your ex are on good terms, you’re going to act differently than if there is still serious bitterness between you. Please don’t misinterpret what I’m saying; you have to of course take into consideration the reasons behind the breakup, but that’s not what we are focusing on right now.
How to be a separated, but happy couple?
Understanding the end of your relationship will define your new approach. If you were unfaithful to your spouse, you’re not going to send a nice little text message like, “Hey, how’s it going?” If you were in the wrong, you’re going to need a poignant apology if you want to really move forward. Your ex hasn’t forgotten your mistakes and will be more than able to remind you of them if you haven’t made your mea culpa.
Even so, apologies aren’t always mandatory. Imagine that the reason behind your separation is distance and it’s not your fault. So you’re not going to say sorry just to get back in touch. Getting back in touch with your ex should be done naturally, without focusing on anything in particular. Send a simple text or make a phone call without asking for their permission. If you’ve separated on good terms, your ex won’t take this type of thing badly.
If you truly want to handle this in a mature way, communication is key, even in a separated couple. Just because you’re no longer with this person doesn’t mean that you have to stop talking to or listening to them. Of course intimate details of your life are better left kept to yourself but nothing is keeping you from having enriching conversations with your ex.
After the divorce, when children are involved, you have to do your best to remain on good terms with your ex-partner. Your children’s happiness is imperative. I completely understand that there might be issues between you. Leave your bitterness out of it when it comes to the kids and focus on their well-being. They didn’t ask for this, and on top of that, who knows. Maybe you’ll be back together with your ex in a few years!
Can feelings come back and is it even necessary to revive those emotions?
It’s hard for me to provide you with a general answer to the question “can feelings come back after a breakup because in reality it all depends on how you feel, what you do and what you want exactly.
During all my time as a coach specialized in helping people get back with their ex I’ve learned that the most important thing is to live without regret. You’ll never be happy if you spend every day saying, “If only I had done this…If only I had done that…” If you’re convinced that this person is the love of your life then don’t waste another moment and are start working on getting them back. That said, it’s imperative that you follow an efficient method in order to put all the odds in your favor.
However, if you think that getting back in a relationship with this person will result in just as much tension, sadness, and bitterness as before, at least for the time being it would be best to move on.
Now that you’re separated, there’s a “good side” to the situation. You can put some distance between you both and take the time to put things into perspective in order to think about what you want, what you feel, and the relationship you had. Once you’ve figured out and understood these things, you’ll be able to make the best decision for you, your ex, and for your children if you have any.
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