Have you recently been broken up with? Are you experiencing a feeling of loss? Does your gut tell you that this can’t be the end because you are convinced that you are made for each other? Looking to get back with your boyfriend or girlfriend can be admirable if done for the right reasons. If you feel like they could be the one or if you can envision a future in which you can both be happy together than you are right to fight to try make things work!
Getting back together after a break up is possible if you approach it in the right way. You must have a clear plan of action and not let your emotions dictate your every move. You will need to be smart patient and resilient in order to prove to your ex that he or she made a mistake and that you can make him or her happy. In this article we will share some pretty unique tips and advice that can enable you to get back together for good.
Understand what went wrong to get back together
In order to progress and not repeat the same mistakes it is always necessary to look back at what went wrong and why. This reflection is very important for a multitude of reasons; you will need to grasp your ex’s frustrations and disillusions in order to establish a healthy communication platform with him or her moving forward. If you don’t really take the time to understand his or her perspective and empathize with them to some degree, it will be very difficult to get him or her to lower their guards and to openly talk to you.
If you are hoping to get back together for good after a break up, it is also critical to gain some real insights and perspectives into what went wrong to be sure not to make the same mistakes again. Remember that getting back with your ex is only half of the battle; staying together and overcoming past frustrations will be the true test of your relationship. People fail to realize and incorporate this simple but powerful reality and that’s why it’s common to see couples break up and get back together three, four or even five times before finally breaking up for good.
To gain the necessary perspective needed to understand what went wrong, it is very often recommended that you do a radio silence. Most people are simply to invested emotionally after a break up to be able to have the awareness to reflect on their relationship while still being in contact with their ex. You are really effected by the separation, the fear of being alone or of losing him or her forever; so you need some space, time and distance to assess where you are and move forward in an efficient way.
This amazing technique developed by Alex Cormont in France and known as the no contact rule in the US will be beneficial to you in other ways as well; it will give your ex the space that they also crave. They will be able to reflect on their own and even start to miss you and think of you. More importantly it will give your next approach or communication more weight. On the contrary if you call or reach out to your ex multiple times per day your words start to become meaningless and he or she will close up. But after a few weeks of not hearing from you, he or she will be genuinely excited to speak with you and want to understand how you were able to evolve so quickly.
Getting back together after a break up is possible if you surprise and seduce your ex
Your ex probably thinks that you are unable to change or at least that you won’t be able to make them happy in the future. Getting back together after a break up can be achieved by simply convincing your ex that you can bring them happiness in the long run. Your ex probably believes that he or she knows you better than anyone and he or she has already passed a judgement on your limitations or how you will act and react in certain situations.
The quickest way to get back together is to surprise your ex and make him or her feel that they were wrong about you! The best way to do this is by being willing to change and evolve personally for you but also to become a more appealing significant other in their eyes. That being said it is very important that you not change only for your ex or that you become the person that you think that they want you to be, while going against your own set of values. On the contrary you will need to go back to being you; that person that you were prior to meeting your ex and the one that seduced them in the first place. It is less about reinventing yourself here and more about once again becoming something that you already were.
Your relationship changed you, and in the process you lost your sense of self, your happiness and ultimately your significant other because you were no longer you! Surprise your ex by evolving or changing back into that person that is free from all of the emotional baggage from the relationship. That is how you will once again become a challenge in his or her eyes; the element of surprise will work in your favor and enable you to get a second chance.
Start a new relationship free from past wrongdoings
I often tell the people that I help to successfully get back with their ex; remember you need to start a new relationship free from past wrongdoings and not just simply get back together. If you are merely just back together it implies that you are in the same mindset as you previously were; you will thus face the same issues over and over again which will inevitably lead to yet another break up as discussed previously.
It will be necessary for you to really prove your change over time through your habits and the way that you communicate. Once you understand where you went wrong and work to become better on your own, you will start to feel empowered and develop a feeling of inner peace and be secure. That’s how it will be possible for you to shift to a more positive mindset, one in which you will be able to once again seduce your ex but also develop a sense of compassion in their regard.
It is very important not to bring up the past in your new relationship together, especially during arguments or confrontations. The goal is really to start anew, bringing up past transgressions, issues or situation will only lead your ex to connect the present to the past. If he or she tries to engage in such behaviors, you will really need to stay positive and not respond to the provocation. I will go even further and tell you to change some of the habits that you developed as a couple. Don’t go to the same restaurants that you once used to go to or engage in the same activities! Really start anew in every sense possible and continue to seduce your ex throughout your relationship. You will forever need to attend and nurture your relationship!
Your coach to remind you that getting back together after a break up is still possible,