Getting back together after a break up is possible if you approach it in the right way. For many reading this article, you have made some mistakes as well in your attempt at getting back together by wanting to see your ex again too soon and you’re looking for solutions that can help you backtrack and get back on track! You’ll need specific techniques and methods for rekindling the flame and for putting an end to the pain of a breakup. Oftentimes, it’s in these difficult moments that you realize how you really feel, and how much you really love this person. Unfortunately for you, it took a breakup for things to become clear, but that doesn’t mean that all hope is lost because you can change things.
You must have a clear plan of action and not let your emotions dictate your every move. You will need to be smart patient and resilient in order to prove to your ex that he or she made a mistake and that you can make him or her happy. In this article we will share some pretty unique tips and advice that can enable you to get back together for good.
First Things First – Don’t Rush After Your Breakup
One of the first reflexes a person has when they’re going through a breakup is simple; to want to go too fast and to go overboard. They spend a fortune on gifts, they spend the entire day sending texts saying, “I love you,” they don’t take the time to rebuild themselves, they put all their focus on the person they want and become completely emotionally dependent. Of course this solution seems logical. You want to share your feelings, you want to show your ex how much you care, and you think that everything will be fixed like this. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case at all.
The first step towards getting back together after a breakup doesn’t consist of declaring your undying love to your ex but rather focusing on a psychological aspect. In other words, focus on yourself, figure out the reasons behind your breakup, figure out what changes need to be made, how to show your ex that you’ve grown and improved, and that you can provide solutions that will make things right (and better than before!)
To make sure you do this right, you have to take the time to think and to not move forward blindly. I know that your world feels like it’s been turned upside down, that your morale isn’t at its best but you have to make this effort if you want things to change. Don’t let the breakup control your life.
Understand what went wrong to get back together
In order to progress and not repeat the same mistakes it is always necessary to look back at what went wrong and why. This reflection is very important for a multitude of reasons; you will need to grasp your ex’s frustrations and disillusions in order to establish a healthy communication platform with him or her moving forward. If you don’t really take the time to understand his or her perspective and empathize with them to some degree, it will be very difficult to get him or her to lower their guards and to openly talk to you.
A breakup never happens without reason and subsequently bitterness, incomprehension or different desires can still exist between you and your ex. These things need to be fixed so that you don’t have to deal with bad memories that will resurface and threaten your new relationship together. Even if it feels like you’re twisting the knife in the wound, you have to ask yourself why the magic you had felt in the beginning of your relationship has been replaced by sadness. Understanding the breakup and accepting it are obligatory in any situation. Whether you had been married for 20 years or if you had experienced passionate love at first site (relationships that lasted under a year) you have to do this.
If you are hoping to get back together for good after a break up, it is also critical to gain some real insights and perspectives into what went wrong to be sure not to make the same mistakes again. Remember that getting back with your ex is only half of the battle; staying together and overcoming past frustrations will be the true test of your relationship. People fail to realize and incorporate this simple but powerful reality and that’s why it’s common to see couples break up and get back together three, four or even five times before finally breaking up for good.
To gain the necessary perspective needed to understand what went wrong, it is very often recommended that you do a radio silence. Most people are simply to invested emotionally after a break up to be able to have the awareness to reflect on their relationship while still being in contact with their ex. You are really effected by the separation, the fear of being alone or of losing him or her forever; so you need some space, time and distance to assess where you are and move forward in an efficient way.
This amazing technique developed by Alex Cormont in France and known as the no contact rule in the US will be beneficial to you in other ways as well; it will give your ex the space that they also crave. They will be able to reflect on their own and even start to miss you and think of you. More importantly it will give your next approach or communication 
Getting back together after a break up is possible if you surprise and seduce your ex
Your ex probably thinks that you are unable to change or at least that you won’t be able to make them happy in the future. Getting back together after a break up can be achieved by simply convincing your ex that you can bring them happiness in the long run. Your ex probably believes that he or she knows you better than anyone and he or she has already passed a judgement on your limitations or how you will act and react in certain situations.
The quickest way to get back together is to surprise your ex and make him or her feel that they were wrong about you! The best way to do this is by being willing to change and evolve personally for you but also to become a more appealing significant other in their eyes. That being said it is very important that you not change only for your ex or that you become the person that you think that they want you to be, while going against your own set of values. On the contrary you will need to go back to being you; that person that you were prior to meeting your ex and the one that seduced them in the first place. It is less about reinventing yourself here and more about once again becoming something that you already were.
Your relationship changed you, and in the process you lost your sense of self, your happiness and ultimately your significant other because you were no longer you! Surprise your ex by evolving or changing back into that person that is free from all of the emotional baggage from the relationship. That is how you will once again become a challenge in his or her eyes; the element of surprise will work in your favor and enable you to get a second chance.
Start a new relationship free from past wrongdoings
I often tell the people that I help to successfully get back with their ex; remember you need to start a new relationship free from past wrongdoings and not just simply get back together. If you are merely just back together it implies that you are in the same mindset as you previously were; you will thus face the same issues over and over again which will inevitably lead to yet another break up as discussed previously.
It will be necessary for you to really prove your change over time through your habits and the way that you communicate. Once you understand where you went wrong and work to become better on your own, you will start to feel empowered and develop a feeling of inner peace and be secure. That’s how it will be possible for you to shift to a more positive mindset, one in which you will be able to once again seduce your ex but also develop a sense of compassion in their regard.
It is very important not to bring up the past in your new relationship together, especially during arguments or confrontations. The goal is really to start anew, bringing up past transgressions, issues or situation will only lead your ex to connect the present to the past. If he or she tries to engage in such behaviors, you will really need to stay positive and not respond to the provocation. I will go even further and tell you to change some of the habits that you developed as a 
Where we come in – Psychology for getting back together with an ex: Indispensable tools!
In addition to launching my eBook, I’ve launched a website so that I can provide you with even more advice on a daily basis, and so that I can respond to your needs with the professionalism that you deserve. The success of my site was a pleasant surprise. Today, in France alone more than 500,000 people visit it on a monthly basis, and I receive dozens of messages every day. It’s proof that love is on the forefront of the minds of men and women.
In order to thank you, I thought it was time to work on my book. It took a little more time than expected because I don’t have a minute to myself with back to back coaching sessions everyday, but I can tell you that since its publication, it’s been my most well received work as of yet!!! I’ve never had so much positive feedback, and dozens of people have already been able to benefit from it.
Today, I’d like for the biggest amount of people to be able to benefit from indispensable tools so that they may learn psychological laws regarding getting back together with an ex, particularly the adaptations that you will find in my new book, “70 Pro Tips To Get Back With an Ex”
Rekindle lost love with new techniques!
I continuously look to work on my eBook little by little and I’ve just added an important chapter containing special pieces like, “How to get back together with an ex after passionate love at first sight.” I talk about short relationships in particular, and discuss the best ways to restart a relationship that ended after brief amount of time.
An entire section is dedicated to getting back in a relationship that lasted under a year. In these types of situations, the techniques are different. The reason is simple; you can’t approach a person that you’ve known for just a few weeks in the same way that you’d approach someone you’ve known for 20 years. The tools are therefore different.
If you’re finding yourself in this situation, don’t wait any longer and start learning from the section of this book that deals directly with these specific relationships.
A guide for getting back together with an ex with amazing bonuses!
I’ve given you a brief presentation of the book and the impressive results it had for people that tried its methods but I haven’t talked to you yet about the bonus… Careful, you might be shocked!
As you know, choosing the Alexandre CORMONT method means you’re choosing excellence in love coaching. It also means that you’re going to receive bonuses along with the book:
– 3 examples of handwritten letters to send to your ex as is, or to be adapted to your story !
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Is it possible to make your ex come back?
You’re perfectly right to ask this question because just wanting your ex back isn’t going to be enough to make it happen. You have to know what steps to take. I’ve got hundreds of examples to give you but it would be way too long to discuss here. So I’ve decided to present you with two testimonials from Martin* and Katherine.*
To do what Martin and Katherine did and get back together with an ex get my eBook by clicking here.
“Alexandre, I was one of the first people to reserve a copy of your book and I was happy to receive it as soon as I ordered it. I was able to start using your techniques the same day and I wanted to thank you for booking an appointment with me the next day even though you were incredibly busy with back-to-back coaching sessions.
I have to thank you even more because your book and your advice helped me to get through to Mark* and we’ve gotten back together. I’ll need your help again to solidify my relationship and probably also in the future for advice moving forward. You’re a great coach and a wonderful person, so don’t change a thing. Katherine.”
“This book is awesome and it allows you to create a very efficient game plan and get a positive reaction from your ex, while helping you avoid messing up! The three letters are amazing, even if I personally prefer the first one Martin.”
*Names have been changed for confidentiality.
Your coaches to remind you that getting back together after a break up is still possible,
Adrian, Natalie and Alex
34 Responses
Hi, can you give me advice by email or just on this website ?? Thanks
This article was very helpful and it’s nice to see that my ex and I are taking the necessary steps already. He broke up with me about a month and a half ago and then moved to Atlanta (from Toledo, Ohio where we were) and started a new life.. so I wouldn’t talk to him until about 2 weeks ago he kept reaching out to me so I finally decided to get the closure I needed to move on and feel at ease. While getting that closure we started to realize we really miss each other and what we had and reminisce on the great moments we had together. He claims he’s going to do whatever it takes to get us back and I hope he’s serious because I love him so much and he’s so special to me.. I’m just hoping for the best because I love you Antwan Maurice Justice ❤️❤️
Dear Coach Adrian and Natalie,
My girlfriend of 4 years and I broke up last week. The last month had been rough on the pair of us – I was unemployed and searching for a job, and we got into a fight and I broke up with her during a fight, I immediately was aware I made a mistake and texted/called her nonstop trying to repair things. We have always struggled with communication, especially during the academic year when we are 2 hours apart. At the beginning of the month, she asked me for “space” and then started systematically removing me from her social media. After about 10 days, I contacted her friends, which blew up in my face and she was ANGRY at me for violating her space and for not listening to her. She accused me of making her life miserable and wearing her down and being a negative person (in truth my negative period was when I was unemployed). She was filled with such hate and anger, and kept telling me that she “feels nothing for me anymore.” We were very much in love. We were inseparable for so long, and I’m afraid that there are outside stresses and things that have caused her to just flip a switch and hate me so much. So far, I am 7 days NC/RS and am committed to change myself for the better and approach things with newfound positivity. I want her back. I know in my soul that things just got bad but that I can make her happy and that she has always made me happy. Over the last month, I found out that I am suffering from a condition that affects my hormones and could be the reason why I went crazy a few months ago and broke up with her. I don’t know where to turn or what to do. Do you think I can be helped?
Hi Jill,
Thanks for reaching out – I’m really sorry to hear this. I do think, however, that this can be turned around. Step one is going to be to give her space, as she’s requesting. Show her that you can listen to her, than you understand her. Meanwhile, focus on yourself.
Best,
Nat
Thanks so much for getting back to me Coach Natalie! I really thought I blew it when she asked me for space and I went a little crazy texting her friends. I think that’s what has prompted the break up. I’m almost 10 days NC and this weekend, I ran a 10k and afterwards posted a picture on my Instagram. She liked the pic which is weird bc I didn’t think she really wanted anything to do with me after last time we spoke. How long should I give her space?
Hi, I’m so very confused on my situation with my ex-wife. I’m in need of good advice and someone who understands relationships better than i do. Can you please reply and maybe we can have a private conversation about it? It would be very much appreciated.
Hello Alex,
Thanks for reaching out. Yes, we can assist you with private coaching. Here is the link to schedule a coaching session. https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
Looking forward to talking with you soon.
Sincerely,
WMEA Team
Hi!!! Read every blog! What an eye opener your words are! Speaks to my soul!
I broke up with my ex boyfriend 2 months ago (we had a massive argument and I moved out of his apartment while he was at work and took ALL my things and never told him I was leaving or moving out). There was no cheating. Our communication was just messed up. I communicate via text. He answers immediately and his responses varies from neutral to positive and then hot and cold. Once I felt that it was time to move to the next step, I called him. We spoke amicably and he told me that it will take him a very very long time till he starts dating again and then BOOM he starts blaming me for the breakup and saying things like, “this breakup was what you wanted”, “this is the choices you made and now you have to live with it”. He brought up the fact that I now have a new activity that we were supposed to do together but I’m now doing it with some one else (a very close male friend)… He was so jealous! He turned down my offer to hang out over coffee and said that he isn’t ready to see me yet and he doesn’t want to see me yet and that seeing me is not helping him. I politely said I respected him and I respected his decision. He said he is confused why I’m texting him. Then 4 days after that phone call he texts me at 6am with a random question about a document he is looking for and asked if I know where it is. I responded by saying that I have it and it got mixed up in my documents. I asked if he needed it urgently and he repsponded and said no, he was just wondering where it was and he will pick it up when he visits him parents (who live 5 minutes from my house). I told him that I am thankful to be able to know him and his response was “same here, we live and we learn”. I saw him for like 5 minutes today. He was so nervous and stuttering. I want him back. I’m reaching out regularly. Communicating on an emotional level but he is still giving me one word answers.
Hello Dainah,
Thank you for the positive feedback! We are so happy to hear you find our articles useful. I invite you to explore why you want him back? Also, you mentioned communication was difficult for you both in this relationship so this will have to change when it comes to communication. What is going to be different for you ex this time around? Also, you apologizing or seeing him right now will just remind him of his heartbreak so I think its a good idea for you to stay clear of seeing him until he is ready. I encourage you to get very clear as to the “why” you left him, as this is something that will ultimately make his decision to feel comfortable with taking you back. I invite you to look something that will really help you with this process. https://www.withmyexagain.com/ebooks/
Best,
Coach Adrian
Hello Azfar,
Thank you for your comment. I know this time can be a little difficult. We have just the thing for you! https://www.withmyexagain.com/ebooks/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Himanshu,
Thank you for your comment. Without knowing the full context of why the breakup happened and the conversations furing the 10 months I wouldnt be able to give you advice without context. I invite you to a coaching session if you feel called. https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Maxine,
Thank you for your comment. As you know you cannot force anyone to be with you but what you can do is show personal growth to make them notice you. I would take this time to focus on yourself and see how he responds.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hi
I told my ex during the breakup that i did not want to have comunication with him. Was that a good desision? How can it afect us? I haven’t talked to him for more than a month.
Hello Jessy,
Thank you for your comment. I believe that you can contact him after your no contact period. Depending on the reason for your breakup I invite you to look into our ebook which really gives great tips on how to get your ex back. https://www.withmyexagain.com/ebooks/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Steph,
Thank you for your comment. I would invite you to do no contact and stay strong during this time.
Best,
WMEA Team
I feel in some ways I have more of a chance at getting back with my ex than most, and in some ways much less of a chance. We met on eharmony and live in different states. After eight months of getting to know each other thru texting and phone, I finally in Oct drove to see her, and it was really a great visit. When I came back things seemed to cool off and she wasn’t being much of even a friend anymore, so I pulled back. As a result she then said those three magical words, and instead of embracing it, I crushed her spirit when I complained that the words she spoke didn’t seem to match her actions. I regrouped, apologized, but pushed her further into a hole by pressing her to come alive again.
So just last week she officially said she did not want to pursue the relationship any longer, and none of my pleading and apologizing helped. She actually blocked me from all lines of communication. So with all that being said, I feel like I have more of a chance because that’s my biggest failure; no lying, no cheating, no abuse, no name calling, just that I crushed her really sensitive spirit. But then because she’s so far away and I’m blocked, I have no real way of reconnecting. Then too, thru a different FB account I can see she still has pictures of me, and I’m not blocked on the page she set up for her dog. I think I can do the no contact even if I’m physically prevented from doing so, but I really love this gal and am so regretful for my response and show of insecurity. I’m going thru the Brad Browning program now, but I’m just trying to elicit some more input.
Thank you
Jim
Hello Jim,
I know this time can be extremely difficult as its not easy. I encourage you to occupy your mind with activities, and invest some of your time into something you are passionate about. I would also encourage you to be strong during the no contact stage and work on your development during this time. If you would like a tailored game plan with your situation please feel free to contact us. https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
Best,
WMEA team
Thomas,
Thank you for your comment. I think right now is the perfect time to start. I think the best thing to do now is step back and really take the time to develop yourself. Focus on something that makes you happy and then focus on it. This may help as well. https://www.withmyexagain.com/video-ressources/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello ES,
No this does not mean to reset the no contact period but maybe do a little longer then 30 days. If he brings it up just let him know you needed to spend time with yourself and focus on your personal growth. Show him change through composure and actions. I would show him that you are willing to be friends. Once this is done be more social, and have fun. This can make him wonder on what he is missing.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Matt,
I know things can be confusing so I think its best that you reach out to her before the 15th so you can start things on a lighter note and then reach out on the 15th. When reconciling the relationship she wants to see change. Remember not to talk about the past and apologize. Show change through actions.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Kev,
Your ex feels neglected in a way as you not communicating and being “supportive” for the most part. I believe our ebook will help you with this step by step process and will help your relationship. https://www.withmyexagain.com/ebooks/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Denny,
As you know, I cannot give you the definite answer to your situation if there is hope in a future with your ex or not. It seems to me that if you can control your emotions then establishing a friendship may be the way to go. I think its vital to yourself and to your ex, or a future partner you move forward as this will help with your healing and personal development. I think the best thing to do is move forward and then start a friendship after you have done some healing.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Darin,
Since you still have hope of a relationship, I believe its a good idea for you to keep up with the no contact and make sure YOU are ready to contact her again. However long that may take.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Melanie,
Yes, isolating yourself from the situation so it gives him time to reach out would be a good approach.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Paula,
I know this is extremely difficult as you do love her. In this situation I would have to invite you to a private coaching session to give you tailored advice once I have a conversation with you. https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
At this point it seems as though you have to let her figure things out and not be there for her so she has to choose.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Coach Natalie and Coach Adrian
My ex and I are recently talking about getting back. I was with another person who is friends with his brother when we were apart. He is very torn up about it. We have very good days where we both plan our future together, and we have very bad ones where he is very hurtful with the things he says. I feel so guilty everyday for who I was with and how bad I hurt him. I do not know if I should give him space to process or be there for him while he grieves. He keeps asking why band I tell him it’s because I had to move on and quit grieving the loss of our relationship but he claims that answer is too shallow. The reason we broke up was not because of a fundamental flaw in our relationship but because I am a mom and he didn’t think he could handle the responsibility that comes with that. Since then he has decided to tailor his future to fit ours because he loves my son and I so much. I want more than anything for us to work this out but I don’t knkw how to get past the sleeping with other people.
Hello Marisa,
Sleeping with other people and you ex not being ok with you being a mom are two very big deal breakers. You deserve to have a man fully support you. I would advise you to do some self-reflection and ask yourself why you want a man like this in your life that wont 100% support you? Stay strong during this process and if you need guidance please reach out to use here. https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
I would encourage you to do 4-6 weeks no contact and reflect a bit and let some time pass.
Best,
WMEA Team
So… Today is a week since she broke up with me. We were in an LDR for 2 years. Meeting often. So, I wasn’t reaching out since she said she wants time to get over me. I lost control, of course, I was bombarding her with texts and she blocked me. The day after, she unblocked me and said she misses texting me and talking to me but has no intentions of being with my anymore. Then we exchanged a few texts, talking about everything that happened. That was a mistake, I admit. But then, I started no contact. She reached out to me the next day and asked what’s up. My answer was brief and I said I had to go cycling (I really did xD). Decided to get back in shape. She texted two days later saying she’s never felt lonelier and that she feels miserable and that she was crying hell of a lot. I was acting cool… Then she asked if I just seem fine or I’m actually fine with our breakup. I might have given a wrong answer… I said I was giving her space to see what the hell she wants and that in the meantime, I was focusing on myself. Then, I threw a joke and went away to light the atmosphere a little and I went away. That was the day before yesterday. She hasn’t texted since. Should I keep the no contact going? Anybody?
Hello Anonight,
Yes. Keep up with the no contact even when she reaches out. You want to show her a different approach and also take some time to to focus on you.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello,
Where do I start..my gf & broke up due me posting on social our fights& business.she is also sick with an kidney disease that has gotten worse.she always had problems with communication& I accepted that..she is such a text junkie,we were living together now I’m n md& she is still in N.Y. after the break up..we said we will get to know each other again, by being friends, who don’t see anyone else& work towards a new relationship,I went into panic mode& started texting calling& more..she now says I pushed her away cause all I want to do talk about us& when we are getting back together..she says u can’t go a week without bringing it up..so now I’m starting the no contact rule& working on myself..please help..ps..I feel like she is pushing me away because she is sick..but I’ve always shown her support
Hi coaches. It’s been 26 days since my ex broke up with me. It’s been 19 days since I last contacted her. As you can see, there’s a 7-day difference because I begged and pleaded for her to give me another chance. She changed her number, she blocked me on messenger and instagram. She keeps on ranting on social media about our relationship. I just kept quiet and ignored it even though it’s really hurting me. She keeps on saying that she’s happy without me. She also said she doesn’t love me anymore. We’ve been friends for 1 1/2 year and in a relationship for 15 months. It’s as if I did not do anything good to her. I know I did terrible things and I admit that, but I don’t think it’s appropriate for her to act that way on social media. I started posting pictures of me hanging out with friends and just sharing positive stuff about life, not even mentioning a single thing about relationships. Last Saturday, I posted pictures of me with someone whom I used to have a crush on way back 4 years ago, she’s also her friend. Then, suddenly, my ex unfriended me on Facebook. I’m confused with her actions. I’m also confused with what I’m feeling. It’s really affecting my work and how I look at myself. This is the first time I’ve ever experienced an intense heartbreak. There are times I still want us to be back together but sometimes I don’t want to. I still love her. What should I do now? Should I contact her after a few weeks or months? Is my case hopeless? Thank you for your reply.
Hello Zia,
I don’t think this treatment is the best for you right now. No one deserves this. I would take some time to gather your thoughts, not reach out to her. Focus on you and show her that you are not bothered by this by not responding to these messages.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hey Coaches!
My gf broke up with me about 3 months ago and finally two and a half weeks ago i started no contact. I did everything wrong after the breakup, i was needy, clingy, and i begged.
I started no contact and i was doing well and i started going out with my friends again and felt a lot better and just made up my mind that it was entirely over and i was okay with it. However, i found myself checking her fb and insta everyday and finally decided to deactivate both of my accounts. Apparently fb messenger doesn’t deactivate along with fb and literally a day after, my ex messaged me on fb messenger asking why i blocked her. Then another message in a more angry tone asking if this was how it was gonna be.. and then another saying sorry and that she missed me. I successfully ignored all three texts, i know i am not ready to reach out to her.
I’m reaching out to you folks because I’m not sure exactly how long am I supposed to keep up no contact? Also, i think it’s safe to assume she was checking up on me as well daily since she noticed so quickly that i had disappeared, so my next question is wont the fact that she doesn’t know anything at all about me, mean she may just entirely move on?
Any help is apreciated.
Hello Glenn,
No contact should be about 3-4 weeks or longer. The point of no contact is to get your emotions strong and you in a good place. Here is a blog that will help define no contact. https://www.withmyexagain.com/guides/no-contact-rule/
Best,
WMEA Team