Going through a breakup kind of feels like your heart is getting stomped all over by your emotions and memories. Thoughts about your ex and the breakup cloud your every thought. It’s the first thing you think about in the morning and it’s the last thing you think about before you go to bed. Throughout the day you feel tired, heavy, pessimistic and antisocial. You hate seeing happy couples and you can’t help but think bitter thoughts.
You’re feeling insecure now because your ego has taken a blow. You’re looking for some type of reassurance and chances are you’re looking for it from your ex. All you want to do is talk to him or her and get rid of this awful feeling. Coping with a breakup is hard, and that is why I wanted to write this article for you. I’d like to give you useful tools for dealing with the pain that can help you to begin feeling better today.
As the title of this article suggests, there are certain things that would actually hinder the healing process, so I am going to outline those for you as well!
Coping with a breakup: The most important thing to do
As I mentioned, you ego has taken a hit. After a breakup, it’s not uncommon for a person to begin to question their self worth and experience thoughts like, “I guess I wasn’t good enough for him/her” or “What if no one ever loves me again?”While these thoughts and feelings are natural, I want you to fight against them. Your worth is not determined by a relationship, and you have to remind yourself of your ability to make yourself happy.
The most important thing to do when coping with a breakup is to start implementing actions and exercises into your life geared towards restoring your self confidence.Do not allow yourself to sit on the couch, wallowing in self pity! Now is the time to get out there and start feeling better about the life that you can create for yourself.
Start by hitting the gym, or trying a different workout routine. Getting your endorphins flowing will boost your energy, but it is also going to make you feel lighter and happier. You’d be amazed at how much of an effect physical exercise can have on your overall mood.
What’s more, you are going to start looking and feeling better in your body! Needless to say, the better you feel inside, the better your outlook on life will be.
I suggest hitting the gym or a workout class at least three times a week.
Similarly, you can begin working on mental exercises geared towards developing a more positive mindset. You’re probably feeling down and out and like you aren’t really on your A game, so here’s an exercise to try out:
Take a pen and a piece of paper, and begin writing a list of all of the things that you bring to the table. What are your favorite things about yourself? Talents, characteristics, physical attributes… Write down anything that people compliment you on as well.
You can add to this list whenever something comes to mind, but I would suggest putting this up somewhere you can see it on a regular basis. Your fridge or your bathroom mirror are good places. This way, you’ll be reminded on why you are someone special, even if you feel like things are pretty rough these days.
How to cope with a breakup: start doing THIS today!
Another fantastic tool for coping with a breakup is actually pretty darn simple as well. I want you to think, “In with the new, out with the old!”
By the way, this works whether you want to get back together with your ex or not!
While being in the relationship, you developed a certain routine which means that very many things are going to be reminding you of your ex right now. The key for coping with breakups is switching things up. You can start by rearranging your space.
Move your bed to a different part of the room, or switch up the artwork on the walls. Reorganize your living room, but above all, put things that remind you of your ex in a box somewhere. It’s up to you whether or not you want to throw these things away.
Next up, spend ample time with your friends and family and focus on doing NEW things. Have you ever tried salsa dancing or jet skiing ? How about those wine and paint nights? Get involved with different activities and fill up your schedule with new activities.
Our goal is to give you a new perspective, introduce you to new people and places, and ensure that the freshest memory in your mind is not your recent heartbreak. I know it’s annoying to be reminded of this because you’re hurting right now, but your life existed before your ex and it will continue to exist after!
So as I’ve been saying, one of the best ways to cope after a breakup is to switch things up and start making your life feel fresh. Don’t isolate yourself. Your friends and family are there for you, so allow yourself to turn to them when you need a shoulder to lean on.
Your emotions are intense right now, and I am not saying that you need to ignore them. You just need to find a balance in your life that will allow you to move forward while digesting the breakup. As always, I am always here to help if you need a helping hand.
Dealing with a breakup if you want your ex back…
You might be sitting there wondering if everything I’ve just said applies to you if you want your ex back. Good news, it does!!
All of my advice is geared towards helping you to become the best version of yourself – someone who is confident and happy with their lives.
It’s up to you to determine how much power you’re going to let this breakup have over you!
So how does all of this help when you want your ex back? Well, by becoming the best version of yourself you are going to remind your ex of the person he or she fell in love with in the first place. But what’s even more exciting is this:
You’re going to remind your ex of the person they fell in love with, but you’re going to be a new and improved version – therefore rendering yourself irresistible!
The key is proving to your ex that you don’t need them in order to be happy. You are not emotionally dependent on him or her, and you are perfectly capable of grabbing life by the horns and living the life you’ve always wanted to live.
Don’t hesitate to get in touch with me to see if the no contact rule would be suited to your attempt at getting back together or not, and in any case, don’t hesitate to post pictures of how much fun you’re having on your Facebook and Instagram! Even if your ex is no longer following you, word will spread about how great and how happy you look! Their curiosity will be sparked…
Wishing you all the best,
Your coach for dealing with a breakup