Since reconciliation takes time and patience, we commonly recommend using radio silence, aka cutting off communication with your ex, during the reconciliation period. Taking a step back and giving yourself space by cutting all means of communication to win back your ex and clearly analyze your situation is most often the best way to go!
What is radio silence and would it help me?
Radio silence, also known as the no contact rule is when you cut contact with your ex for a predetermined amount of time. As each situation is unique, I would suggest getting in touch with us to design the perfect plan of action. You can leave a comment below (to which I would be more than happy to personally reply), or you can get in touch with us directly here.
The length of time required will directly depend on how and why your breakup occurred, so it’s going to be crucial to take some time to really reflect and pinpoint what exactly happened. During the radio silence phase, you’ll also need to focus on some very important things that will determine your odds of success.
To give you a rough idea, the radio silence period lasts from about 30 days to 3 months. I know that sounds scary because you’re worried that your ex will move on and that they’ll forget about you… But the truth is that this is a tried and true method, and is known as one of the most effective tools when trying to get an ex back! I bet you’re wondering why… The answer is simple: The goal is to make your ex fear losing you for good!
Radio Silence is a worthwhile tool
As you’ve come to understand, radio silence is a somewhat lengthy no contact period during which, you guessed it, you shift the balance of power by cutting off communication to win back your ex (especially if you’ve found yourself in a situation where you feel your ex drifting away.) When implementing Radio Silence it is best to completely go silent; thereby not responding to your ex’s calls, emails or text messages. Sometimes understanding this technique might help you to understand your partner’s behavior if they’ve suddenly gone M.I.A. If you’re thinking my ex boyfriend is ignoring me, or my ex girlfriend is avoiding me, perhaps they’re using this tool.
When and how to best implement Radio Silence can vary based on you and your ex, on the specificity of your relationship and how the breakup occurred. Therefore, a Radio Silence often constitutes a step in its own right in my plan of action towards reconciliation when coaching people on the phone or via email. But in the end, communication is crucial and necessary to win your ex back, so your main objective should be to know exactly when to open communication again!
Why is cutting off communication with your ex is the way to go?
Cutting off communication with your ex to get them back is necessary for many reasons, and the first is primarily for your own benefit. In effect, this first step allows you to make your own evaluation and plan your actions or next moves and to fully grasp the reasons that may have caused the separation and brought stress upon your relationship with your ex.
The second reason to implement a Radio Silence is to serve as a stepping stone towards your actual goal to win back your ex! By cutting off communication you will make your ex wonder if you are out of their life for good and if they caused you to slip away forever.
It may even make push them to question how righteous they were in the relationship. It’s a subtle move, but its end purpose is to make your ex aware of the fact that you have finally moved on and also broken up with them in your own right, and let go of both the past and your relationship with them.
Make sure to implement Radio Silence the right way!
Radio silence like ex quotes, although useful in the majority of cases, isn’t for everyone.
If your ex blames you for not having opened up with them and for not being affected by the breakup, you’re on the right path! On the other hand, if you have constructive communications with your ex, why would you want to cut them off? This surely wouldn’t be understood by your ex, and they will likely misinterpret it.
Radio silence is an art that’s good to master because it could lead to misunderstandings if it isn’t used under the right pretenses and conditions (more on that in a moment.) Furthermore, it’s quite possible to implement radio silence, to restart communication, and then to cut off communications again if the first approach to reestablish contact didn’t go well.
To learn more about radio silence and to learn about how to master other reconciliation techniques, read my best selling eBook “70 pro tips to win back your ex”. Relationship reconciliation isn’t always easy, so be patient to get your man back and be prepared to go the extra mile to reclaim the heart of the one you love!
When to avoid cutting off communication with your ex at all costs
I wanted to add final section in this article to make sure that you don’t use this tool if you’re in a specific situation… If you and your ex broke up after being together for a short amount of time (a few months), it is not recommended to use it! Why? Simply because you weren’t together long enough for it to be effective. Your ex hasn’t had the chance to get to know you well enough so instead of using radio silence, you need to switch your focus to seduction. By focusing on drawing your ex back in, you can once again give yourselves the opportunity to get to know one another better and to establish a deep, long lasting bond!
Your coach to help you cut off communication to win back your ex,
Alexandre Cormont
21 Responses
I was with my fiance for 2 years. Her and her 2 children lived with me and my son on the weekends. I very done everything for.them all. Cook, clean, take them nice places, plan trips, buy them things, kids haven’t heard from there real dad in over a year. The last month I was accused of messaging other women. On FB. I wasnt. She’s been insecure and snooping. Well she called it off. Said she needed time that she was tired. I pushed to find out what she wants and she said I will give you your ring back.havent got it and pics of us and kids still on her FB page. I deactivated mine. 2 years of perfect Ness and the last.month bad arguments. But I want her back. I did for a week the desperate, clingy, I need you, blow phone up thing. Will she come.back
I dated a woman for 2 yrs and things were serious we both enjoyed each other a lot. We cooked together went out talked about everthting I even spent time with her kids. She wanted me to leave my wife and I just couldn’t do that. We agreed to move on without each other the breakup was not so good. But she didnt reach out to me for about 3 weeks. During that time I never texted or called her either. Recently she reached out talking about how much weight she lost and if I could get her some alkaline water. I told her that those benifits are over me doing favors for her. She got upset and said i was being ignorant because i didnt want to comply with her demands of doing favors for her anymore. I simply told her that the guy she is with now thats his responsibility to do all those things i use to do. I told her to not contact me again and she has done it twice. What is it that she wants. Oh yea the sex was amazing we both enjoyed each other a lot.
Hi RJ,
Good for you! I commend your ability to stand up for yourself. I promise you that she will find this incredibly attractive. Hang in there and keep us posted!
Best,
Coach N.
Hello Natalie,
My ex boyfriend broke up with me 3 years ago, however we kept in touch for a while and then suddenly he told me to move on, It caught me by surprise we was so close. He sent me a text and told me “this will be his last text so enjoy bon voyage” he cut all communication off. I just coudnt believe it what did I do so bad. will he ever call me or contact me. I chosed to move on, but we were in in a good place.
I’ve been in contact with my ex who i’ve been friends with since high school (I usually hate labeling) after my recent breakup with another guy and he suddenly blew up at me. During the time i was dating another guy it was hard for both of us to use the no contact rule, but after a full blown argument with a lot of nasty things said I have to enforce the no contact rule this time. To give him his space and hopefully both of us having a clearer head. He lives in Florida and I’m supposed to be visiting in 2 1/2 weeks. Hopefully by then our heads will be more clear and we are willing to try and visit each other among other friends. My mother tells me the no contact rule usually is the best way to go and it helps both sides. I hope she’s right.
Hi Asianna!
Coach Adrian and I are hosting a free webinar on Sunday, June 25th, at 1PM, and it deals with preparing you to begin rekindling with your ex. We’ll dive into how to work on yourself and prepare for the first date after the breakup. I think you’ll gain lots of insight. I hope you join! Here’s the link : https://app.webinarjam.net/login/12738/c3c54a57ee/-1/live
Best,
Coach N
Hello,
My ex-boyfriend and I broke up last month. We basically ended things because I found out that he cheated on me while we were together. I even talked to “the other woman” (who ended up being a really nice girl because honestly if not for her, I never would have even found out everything). Anyways, my ex texted me like 2-3 weeks ago basically apologizing and wanting “closure” and to discuss what happened and to end things on a better note, but I haven’t responded. In fact, I remember feeling somewhat insulted because he had plenty of opportunities to talk to me but he took the coward’s way out and just broke up with me via text saying how “it’s for the best for me” (because again he didn’t want to face my wrath because he was just informed by the girl that she was going to tell me everything)
So what do you all think about that? How do you think I should continue to handle things? Any advice or response would be great, thank you!
Hi Sky!
Coach Adrian and I are hosting a free webinar on Sunday, June 25th, at 1PM, and it deals with preparing you to begin rekindling with your ex. We dive into how to work on yourself and prepare for the first date after the breakup. I think you’ll gain lots of insight. I hope you join! Here’s the link : https://app.webinarjam.net/login/12738/c3c54a57ee/-1/live
Best,
Coach N
My bf brokeup with me 2 months ago he says that as we are of different religions our parents won’t agree he doesn’t want to hurt them. He says his feelings for me have reduced and he has kind of moved on. He had blocked me but then unblocked me and said that I was irritating him by saying him to get bck together. Bt he told that he wants my friendship. So we text each other once in a week. What shld I do I really love him alot. Bt now there is no spark between us. I feel if we wld become more close he would get the courage to convince his parents. What shld I so now.
Hi Mukti,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. Realistically, I feel that in order to really help, you’ll need a tailored gameplan and I’ll need to hear EVERYTHING that’s happened. If you’re up for it – I invite you to schedule a coaching session with me or Coach Adrian. You can do so by visiting this link: http://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching
I hope to hear from you and I hope all is going well with you – I know how painful this can be.
Best,
Coach N
My ex boyfriend broke up with me 5th march this year. Iv done all the begging, pleading and crying, that just made him mad and move on to another woman within a few weeks. Iv now started no contact 14 days ago. Iv taken myself off social media so there is no way he can know what I’m doing. We have a child together and he hasn’t seen her for about 8 weeks because he won’t see his child without this woman been there. Our child doesn’t want to go where there is a new family replacing where she was. I’m hoping this is just a rebound relationship. People will probably think I’m stupid for still wanting to be with him but when you love someone with all your heart it’s hard to not want to be with them. Yes I am very angry that he moved on so fast, did our relationship mean nothing to him?
Hi Rachel,
Thank you for your share and I’m really sorry to hear about what you’re going through. This is very, very painful. I’d like to learn more about your situation, so I can help you turn this around. I invite you to schedule a session with Coach Adrian or myself, we’re here to help : http://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching
Wishing you the best always and sincerely hoping to hear from you.
Best,
Coach N
Hi.. I broke up with my ex 2 months and we have a baby together. I can’t stop thinking about our situation & I want him back. We date 3 yrs on & off, this is the 3rd time we have broken up. I don’t know why we can’t get it together even with a child involve. But I’m feeling like I need him in my life. Help
Hello Hanna,
It seems like he is not taking things as seriously as you. The beginning of a relationship stage is setting the ground rules. I wouldn’t respond to him when he reaches out and give this time. I would step back observe his behaviors and let him show you who he is. If he reaches out stay strong and do not reply immediately.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Frizel,
I think right now the best thing to do is focus on you and your son. Your physical wellbeing is most important above everything else.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Chelsea,
If you are the one typically reaching out, then I would wait for him to reach out to you.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Michelle,
Right now you should give him some time. Do not be overly persistent. He will reach out to you again. This can help https://www.withmyexagain.com/product/how-to-get-him-back/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello ParkMinYoung,
I would just give her time. This may be a way she is coping with things. Just continue to support her and do not put pressure on her. I suggest not reaching out to her unless she initiates and only respond when she initiates.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hey there, my name is Ashton and im 21.
Me and my ex broke up about a week ago due to her finding someone else. Shes 23 by the way. Ive known her for three years but we dated for at least 5 months. One fact is that we were in a long distance relationship. We probably saw each other about once every month. Before i met her, she was in a marriage that she did not enjoy at all. We ended up falling in love which she then seperated from her husband to be with me. I was always there for her from the get go and did everything in my power to make sure her life still meant something to her and the world. The night we broke up was like i said, due to her finding someone else, she agreed to staying in contact with me. Whats hard is that she still talks to me like we are in a relationship and yes i really do still love her. She still calls me baby,babe, cutie and practically nothing has really changed during the break up and i really want to get her back. Should i just cut contact with her without any notice, or should i give her a heads up that im not gonna have contact with her?
Hey there, my name is Ashton and im 21. Me and my ex girlfriend whos 23, broke up about a week ago due to her finding someone else. We were in a long distance relationship and we have always met up once every month. Ive known her for almost three years but dated her for at least 5 months. Ive always been there for her through her tough times when she was married. She hated her life and wanted to give up but i always told her that she has so much more opportunities out there and made her feel special. She instantly fell in love with me when we started talking and i did as well. Things are really good between us and what bothers me is that things are still good between us after the breakup. I was so heart broken when she told me she found someone else but the thing is that when we talk nowadays, its like we are still together. She still calls me nicknames like babe, baby and cutie. When i send her selfies on snapchat she still screenshots them and saves it to her phone. And the most concerning part is that she still says “I love you” to me. Overall its hard to say you are not a couple when things are still like this. Now for the solution to get her back i have no idea what to do. YES, i still do love her very much and i really do want to get her back. The thing is that i have no idea how to cut contact with her, do i let her know im cutting contact because of how close we are still or do i just completely do cut contact at random without letting her know?? Id really appreciate any advice at this point.
Hello Ashton,
I know right now is incredibly difficult but cutting off all contact will be key here. You don’t have to tell her you are doing this. I actually would not suggest this. I recommend for you to just do not contact for 3-4 weeks. You can do it! I have faith in you. 🙂 Stay strong.
Best,
WMEA Team