I know that when you see your ex dating someone new, it unleashes a whole new set of excruciating emotions, especially when you’re working on getting him or her back. As a love and relationship coach, I am contacted by people on a regular basis who are panicking about the fact that it seems that their ex has moved on and is dating someone new, and pretty much all of them ask me the same thing: Do exes ever come back after dating someone else, or is this relationship done for good?
In today’s article, I would like to explore the answer to this question but I will also provide you with tips and tools that will help make your ex-partner want you back. There are certain do’s and don’ts that you need to keep in mind in a situation like this, and by the time you reach the end of this article you will have a much better idea of how to proceed!
Do exes ever come back after dating someone else: The emotions involved
When you find out that the person you love is dating someone new, it conjures up so many feelings and the worst part is that it feels like you are reliving the breakup all over again. The pain of it comes to the very forefront of your mind and it is combined with a surge of doubts in terms of your odds of success.
Though this is one of the most common reactions to finding out that your ex is dating someone new, I want to highlight the importance of never comparing yourself to the new person. Many times, when I’m working with someone in this situation, they’ll start asking things like, “What does she have that I don’t?” Or “Why did my ex choose him over me?” I can tell you right now that these types of thoughts are very destructive and will not get you anywhere.
It is absolutely possible to get your ex back even when they have moved on and are dating someone new, but your mindset is going to change everything. Focusing on the wrong thing is only going to be an energy vacuum.
So I encourage you to be gentle with yourself through this process. If your self esteem has taken a hit, it will be important to focus on ways to reestablish confidence and feeling good about yourself. I will expand on this in a moment!
Now, the answer to “Do exes come back after dating someone else” is yes, but only if you approach the situation and the right way. So what does that look like?
Getting back with an ex after they dated someone else: The process
There is a common mistake that I see in people who are wondering about how to get back with an ex that has started dating someone new. It’s a very natural response, but it is also something that can really damage your odds of success.
If you have been texting, calling, and trying to contact your ex lately because you know that he or she is dating someone new, you have got to stop it right now. I know that many people panic when they see the person they love with someone new so they try to do everything in their power to attract them back, while not realizing that they need to take a step back in order to make a stronger comeback…
The importance of composure when you want your ex to choose you
When you find out that your ex is dating someone new, it is of utmost importance that you control your emotions. Your ex should not see that this affects you in any way. Make sure that when your ex interacts with you or sees you, that you look put together and content with your own life.
The more distraught you look about the fact that he or she is dating someone new, the less attractive you will be to your ex.
They are already going to feel like they’re on top in this breakup because they’re the one that healed and moved on quickly. If you approach them about it (and especially if you show them that you’re deeply affected by it), you’re only going to make them feel more sure about their choice.
They’re going to be reassured that they’re doing really well, and that they won while you lost. On top of that, they’ll feel reassured that they have this kind of affect on you – which means that your feelings for them are very much still present.
Think about it this way, why would your ex want to be with someone that is in lower position than they are in right now?
We want your ex to look at you and see you as a prize and an exciting challenge – not someone who is easy to take for granted.
So, doing the opposite of all of this will grab their attention. By not having a strong reaction to the fact that he or she is with someone new, you immediately present yourself in a new light.
Leave him alone and he’ll come back… if you do this!
If you give your ex’s new relationship too much importance, you will just reinforce its significance in your ex’s mind. In other words, the bigger of a deal you make this relationship, the bigger deal it will actually be.
That is why I am stressing the importance of nonchalance. You’ve got to be calm and collected, and appear completely unaffected by their new relationship, because that will affect the way your ex views the situation as well. If you are visibly threatened by his or her new relationship, it will just make the relationship seem that much more important.
So by using reverse psychology, you can minimize the new relationship’s significance in your ex’s mind.
But that’s not all you should be doing if you want to get your ex back from their new boyfriend or girlfriend…
Making improvements to your own life when your ex is dating someone
Making your ex want you back doesn’t stop at being careful with your reactions to your ex dating someone new.
The distance you place between you needs to be supplemented with personal development. Now is the perfect moment to actively work on becoming the new and improved version of yourself. Not only will this boost your own self esteem and confidence, it’s going to grab your ex’s attention.
When he or she sees that you are not suffering for wallowing in self-pity, but grabbing life by the horns, you’re going to pique their interest.
So I really encourage you to think about what passions, hobbies, personal and professional goals got put on the back burner, and start prioritizing them again. Challenge yourself to become more physically active, make time for your friends and family, and make sure that your schedule is filled with people an activities that bring you joy every single day.
The busier you are with things that benefit you, the easier it will be to feel better, control your emotions, and build your self-confidence, all while sparking your ex’s interest.
Why exes come back after you’ve moved on
When your ex realizes that you have taken them off that pedestal that you have become the 2.0 version of the person fell in love with, it will be hard for them to not think about you.
The key to success here is making your ex see you that you are living a life that he or she would want to be a part of. Begging, pleading, or any type of needy behavior will push you further away from this goal, but if you are able to inspire your ex and continuously surprise them, they will start to gravitate back towards you.
By the way, many of these relationships that ex partners get into right after a break up are nothing but rebound relationships that typically do not last very long.
It is entirely in your power to make your ex see you a new light and realize that he or she would be so much happier by your side.
For more in-depth information on how to attract to your ex back, all you have to do is click the link.
Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us for one-on-one coaching, and we can help you navigate every step of this process while defining a concrete action plan. You can also leave any questions you have in the comments section below.
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you’re wondering about exes coming back after dating someone else
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