Many single women that we speak with often ask the same question: How do you get a guy to call you after a date? Some women can obsess over this question, often times taking it very personally if a guy does not reach out to them after a date.
The ego gets in the way and even if you really have no intentions of pursuing a serious relationship with the guy, you want to have the option! Others may feel like they connected with a man and that the date showcased some potential that he could ultimately be the one; so why hasn’t he called to follow up?
In this article, we will give you tips and advice to ensure that the right guy will reach out to you following your dream date!
For a guy to call after a date focus on the moment itself first!
Do not obsess over the aftermath of the date and forget to enjoy the moment itself. Whether or not the man reaches out to you afterwards has absolutely no value unless you actually do want to hear from him again. If you obsess over the fear of being rejected or of not hearing back, your insecurities will be passed along to the guy during the date on a subconscious level. It will increase the chances of that outcome that you are desperately trying to avoid.
The most important thing is to be yourself, to make a favorable impression and to hopefully connect with the guy both on an emotional and a sensual level. The first rule is to not worry about the aftermath of the date before or during the date!
If you are into him make sure that you give the guy signs or positive indicators as I like to call them throughout the rendez-vous. Many times women play their cards way to close to the vest and the evening ends with men having no idea if their date is into them or not because some women can be way too guarded.
We are not advocating that you throw yourself onto him during dinner but simply that you do subtle little things such as: smiling while looking intensely into his eyes, physical contact such as quickly letting your hand touch his, or simply increasing the sensual or sexual tensions at certain times to peek his interest!
Another key element to highlight your interest is to look for the date not to end after a dinner. In a subtle way push for a part II; if he mentioned liking salsa spontaneously ask him to take you dancing to a his favorite spot. Another way to prolong the evening is to skip the formal desert and go for ice cream somewhere else; or simply say that you would like to go for a walk to digest a bit because you ate too much; you could then wrap your arm under his or lean your head against his shoulder.
If you happen to be on a date with a gentleman you may even mention that it is a bit chilly and he may offer to cover you with his sports coat. This may seem cheesy to some, but the reality is that you are dramatically increasing your chances of hearing from him again as you are in essence creating a longer window of opportunity to connect with him on an emotional and sensual level!
The Open text to thank him for the date
If you genuinely had a good time, it is really important to tell him! In any case its’ proper manners to thank someone who showed interest in looking to get to know you more and treating you to dinner, drinks or coffee. Do not hesitate to send him a text message or even to call him directly the next evening to say thank him for the date and say that you had a good time.
You would not be breaking any code or unwritten rule by being the first one to reach out! On the contrary, you would “break the post-date ice” and provide him with a comfortable platform to re-engage with you; showing interest can open the door to have other opportunities to build a bond or intimacy.
If calling him seems too intense to you, a simple text like this one will do: “I truly had a good time with you last night and wanted to once again thank you. Hope we can do this again sometimes soon”.
If you are not interested in seeing him again, we advise that you also send him a text to thank him, its’ the right thing to do and does not mean that you are leading him on. However if he does reply or invite you out again, we suggest that you let him know straight up that you do not have any interest in dating again.
In such cases a text like this one should do trick: “Thank you so much for the invite, you are really sweet and I want to make sure that I do not lead you on in any way. I cannot see a future in which we are together and therefore will have to kindly decline. But thank you and I wish you the best.”
Let’s face it, if you were somewhat into a guy but he was never going to follow through; wouldn’t you want to know right away as well? Although it’s the harder thing to do we believe that it is the right thing to do as well! Being honest and forthcoming about you intentions can only help your dating karma!
To get a guy to call after a date, be patient!
Whenever possible, we usually recommend to look to schedule dates with different people in the same week or so in order to not be overzealous or focus too much of your attention on one guy! This does in no way make you “a player”; Going on dates with multiple men at the same time to ensure that you do not over think things is common and a smart dating ploy to ensure that you will keep the right guys interested. Our mind can play tricks on us; anything sane that can help keep the mind distracted will help us in this particular endeavor.
The point is that if the guy does not immediately contact you back, be patient! We live in a fast paced world, and people have busy lives. Just because it has taken a few day or even more than a week for him to reach out does not necessarily mean that he isn’t interested.
If you make it a fixation, you will create tensions within that will eventually be passed along to him unintentionally when he does reach out. Guys feel those things and you don’t want to ruin something promising just because you were too eager to “close the deal”.
Finding the right partner or being in a relationship with someone is too important not to be patient. That is why you must let things come to you organically. It may be important for you to change your outlook or approach to dating and the aftermaths of dates. Instead of looking at this process as something that brings stress, turn it into a game and see it for what it truly is; a game of seduction that we like to refer to as “the chase”.
One of the most thrilling aspects of being with someone and in a relationship is this very pursuit, so try to make the most of it and not get so caught up in waiting for a phone call!
Be clear about your expectations
Eventually you will need to be clear about what you want and are hoping to get out of the dating process. While engaged in the chase make sure that you are aware of your expectations; you will also need to address those with him in order to ensure that you are both on the same page.
The sooner you divulge those to him the lesser your disappointment would be in the event that things were to not work out. Either way, be sure that you always put your expectation in context and explain your rational to him. It is always easier to relate to someone when you are given a full picture of why this person thinks in a certain way.
Furthermore speaking about your expectations can start a conversation on the topic at hand; he may be able to provide you with a perspective that you had not considered and thus challenge you to open up your world or re-shape your outlook.
During your first date don’t be afraid to tell him that you are looking to meet people that are looking to build something of substance; Put it in context and explain to him that based on where you are in life that is what you are aspiring for. Balance this out by letting him know that you are not stressing about finding the right guy for you and that you trust that things will naturally fall into place.
If this piece of information leads him to not call you back, don’t sweat it! First this will have enabled you to weave out that type of men that you do not want to be with anyways.
Secondly if things were to eventually not end up working out it is always better to be disappointed with less of an emotional commitment. Having both parties come to that realization after having slept numerous times together would prove to be more painful!
In preparation for your next date or when waiting for a guy to call you back, you now have a blueprint to follow to ensure that you maximize your chances of having a favorable outcome. Just remember to enjoy your first date without worrying about the future, don’t be afraid to be the first one to reach out to thank him after a date and be patient. We have no doubt that these tips will help you to not only get him to call but also to make him be crazy about you!
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