The 6 rules to How to Get Back with your Ex after a Divorce

How to Get Back with your Ex after a DivorceDo you want to know how to get back with your ex after a divorce ? Separation can be a different experience for many people depending on how things end for them and their outlook. Those seeking a divorce may see it as a turning point and gain a sense of freedom. On the other hand if you are divorcing against your will and still in love with your ex-wife or husband, it can be hard to bare.

It can be as if you were losing part of your identity and the task of starting over alone can seem daunting! But you don’t necessarily have to start again alone, and it is possible to get back with your significant other even if divorce papers have been signed! It will take a lot of effort and you will need to correct some of your past wrongdoings.

But if you are still deeply in love with your ex husband or wife and remain committed to becoming that person that they always dreamed of being with you can have the chance to turn it all around. In this article we will give you a road map and tips to follow in order for you to maximize your chances of getting back with your ex even after a divorce, and don’t forget to take advantage of our eBooks and audio guides!

Regain your identity and rebuild your self-confidence

You must start by rebuilding your self-confidence and your identity. Those two crucial traits are interlinked and that is why we chose to address them together. This is the first step in the process of ultimately getting back with your significant other. In order to one day prove to your ex that they have made a major mistake and that you can both make each other happy you must start by feeling that way about yourself first!

How can you convince or inspire someone else to want to be with you if you are not convinced about your own self-worth. You will need to slowly rebuild your confidence over time by setting short, medium and long term goals that you will follow through on and achieve!

You will also need to find a new identity as an individual in order not to live through your past failed marriage. You will need to have projects and dreams that you will pursue on your own, without the validation of your ex-husband or wife. This first step is geared towards being able to slowly get out of the state of depression that you may be experiencing following a divorce; to eventually inspire both you and your significant other to embark on a new journey together.

Understand what went wrong

The second step in the process of overcoming a divorce and getting back together is learning from the past. You will need to really reflect on your failed marriage and have an unbiased bird’s eye view of when and how things fell apart. You need to be self-critical in order to truly reflect on the disputes that consumed your relationship and find the root causes of the issues as well as the role that you may have played in creating them.

In order to recreate a new, improved and healthy relationship you will need to be able to avoid those same mistakes that plagued your relationship. That is why this step in the process is so critical and often times one of the most challenging.

Stay in touch and on good terms

In order to get back with your ex you will need to maintain a communication platform with them. It is quite simply impossible to get back with an ex if you have lost touch all together and have no means to communicate with them. More than simply keeping in touch you will need to turn the negative energy coming out of a divorce into a positive dialogue.

In order to do so you will need to showcase compassion, humility and forgiveness. You will no longer engage in confrontation or arguments of any kind. Try to diffuse any potential tensions by looking to compromise or simply by not responding to provocation. If you are able to stay in such a dynamic for a long period of time you will be able to completely shift the relationship with your former husband or wife; anger and resentment will turn into mutual respect and healthy regular conversations.

Take a super market approach to your past relationship and recreate a bond

You will eventually be in a position where you can re-create a bond between you and your former husband or wife. In order to do so, we highly recommend that you take a super market approach towards the past relationship; take away only what you want from it and leaving the rest behind.

Only communicate around the things that brought you closer together; it could be your kids, pets, dancing, any particular activity that you shared, enjoyed or that enabled you to live in the present moment and to be happy. It may sound trivial or impossible now but after time has passed and you have changed your outlook, approach and ways of communicating it will become a lot easier to re-kindle and ultimately organically come back to one another.

Prove your change over time

In the long run what will make or break your goal of getting back with your ex following a divorce is your capacity to prove your change over time. A divorce symbolizes a breaking point and a need for change after a significant period of emotional trauma. Being able to create a new dynamic will thus take time and tremendous effort to prove that you are really a different person who has evolved since the divorce.

If you are positive, confident and dynamic because you have a reason to wake up every morning in order to pursue your short term and long term goals, you will be in the best possible circumstances to prove your change over time. It will then be up to you to validate the notion that you can both be happy together.

Seal the deal

Finally once all of these actions have been put in place you will need to seal the deal and reclaim your lost love. You know your ex-wife or husband more than anyone else. If you are able to follow this plan of action you should have the confidence and inspiration to find the means to cap off your resurrection by finding the right way to conclude your transformative journey. We believe that everyone has the potential to turn everything around and prove to their ex that they can be happy even following a divorce. You will simply need to be resilient and convinced that your efforts will be worth it in the end.

If you are currently going through a divorce and remain convinced that your ex-wife or husband is still the one for you, share your experience with us in the comments section below. Our team of coaches will respond to you to ensure that you get started in the right way to meet your goals!

Your coach here to help you get back with your ex after a divorce,


  • angela

    My husband and I have not lived together since april , in court for a divorce I don’t want. He has started dating someone new since July. We have 2 kids together, I am so heartbroken over all this and don’t understand why this is happening. I love my husband very much, he was my best friend. Yes I am hurt but apparently not hurt bad enough to still want to be with him. I don’t know what to do, the divorce is not final yet. Can I save this marriage before its finally over?

  • Doris Klotz

    My ex and I have been divorced for 3 months. I really still love him. But I am afraid if I tell him that he will become very arrogant and reject me. How do I get him back in a subtle way?

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Doris,
      Thank you for your share. This is a great question. Relationships are a balance of power, and it will be important to reach out in a way that allows for the shift in balance to work in your favor. Getting back with your ex after a divorce can be tricky, but it’s very possible. If you need help in how to approach this situation, I invite you to book a session.
      I wish you the very best either way!

  • Coach natalie

    Hi Docken,
    Thank you for reaching out. If you’re looking for ways to get back with your ex and a divorce, I encourage you to consider reading out E-Book:
    It outlines the measures you’ll need to take in order to prove to your ex wife that you’re still and can continue to be the person for her. If you’d like a more tailored approach, please feel free to book a session and we can work on a thorough action plan to make your chances of rekindling the highest.
    Either way, I wish you the very best. Hang in there.
    I hope this helps.
    Coach Natalie

  • Chloe

    I suffered trauma and have ptsd. I’m having treatment, but the way I was with him caused him to leave me. We are talking and I feel no anger because he left. But he said he didn’t feel I loved him and he felt neglected. I’m doing well, socialising and feel at peace. But I truly love him and want us to try again.

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Chloe,
      I’m glad to hear you’re in treatment. Sometimes, our relationships with ourselves can really influence our relationships with the people around us. If you want to give it a shot, I encourage you to book a session with me, so we can really break down what went wrong.
      Coach N.