Going through a breakup is always difficult, but going through a separation with your first true love can often times become one of the most challenging moment of someone’s life.
As a relationship expert specialized in helping people get back with their ex, I know what it’s like because I have made it my life and passion to figure out the best possible ways to bring people back together.
My experience as lead me to understand how rewarding getting back with a first love can be.
A conversation that I had recently with a young lady called Lisa inspired me to write this article in order to provide you with a framework to get back with the man or woman that you feel so passionate about.
I must warn you that getting back with someone you love dearly can be challenging; and I am not in the business of providing quick fixes.
This article is addressed to those that are willing to put in the work, to learn from their mistakes, and to evolve into a person that they can be proud of; and into the man or woman that your ex always wanted to be with!
So if you are ready to do everything possible to win back your ex after a breakup, read on…
Where did things go wrong with the love of your life and why?
The issue that most people face right after a breakup is that they try to immediately convince their ex to get back together. You too may have apologized, begged, pleaded or even worse…the moment that the breakup was announced or in the days that followed.
Forget your pain for one second and look at the breakup from your ex’s point of view.
If things got to this point, it means that the one you love reached a tipping point. In other words, they were convinced that you no longer have what it takes to make them happy, or that your relationship was not worth fighting for anymore.
It may have taken weeks, or even months for your ex to come to that conclusion…so is it realistic for you to hope that you can convince them a few minutes after the breakup?
Ans that’s not even considering the fact that you are probably still in a state of shock and overwhelmed by your emotions.
Do you really think that you are credible in their eyes? Do you think that they will trust your ability to change it all around so quickly?
Don’t make that mistake! If you already have, don’t make things worse. Getting back with a first love is possible if you have a clear plan.
The best way to get it done is to take a step back in order to (1) fully grasp where things went wrong; (2) avoid making more mistakes or pushing your ex even further away; (3) and to develop the right strategy to maximize your chances of winning back the heart of the one you love!
So first things first, where did things go wrong and why?
In an ideal world, you would schedule a one on one coaching session with me either via phone or email so that I could all of your mistakes and to tell you how to solve the deep rooted issues faced.
But what I can already tell you is that your relationship probably broke down for one of two reasons: Either you were too needy and pushed your partner away or you were too detached and failed to provide them with the love and attention that they craved.
Before even thinking about pleading your case and trying to convince your ex to get back together, you absolutely will need to take a step back, be honest with yourself, and figure out which of those two best applies to your behavior and actions prior to the breakup!
That will be essential in determining how to balance things out moving forward, in order to prove to your first love that you are indeed the one that can make them happy.
Overcome emotional dependence to get back with a first love
When you commit to taking a step back and not reach out to your first love after a breakup, you will most likely be fighting depression because you will feel like part of your identity is gone.
This deep sense of sadness is what I refer to as emotional dependence; the belief that your happiness is tied to an individual that you yearn to share everything with, and that may or may not want to be with you.
In order to get back with the one you love, you will need to overcome this mental state because no one wants to be with someone who feels sorry for themselves, who lacks drive and self-confidence.
You will not convince your first love to take you back by showing them or telling them how destroyed you are! Trust me. All you will do is boost their ego and reinforce the notion that they will be happier without you in their life.
On the contrary, you have to force yourself to be active, to have projects and to quickly bounce back in order to inspire them to see you in a different way. Your ex needs to be inspired by who you are and what you are doing.
Being happy, fulfilled, social, or having purpose is the best way to prove to the love of your life that they made a big mistake in breaking up with you…to make them doubt, and deeply regret their decision!
That’s right; the key to getting back with the one you love is to be strong enough and to have enough belief in yourself to make THEM chase you, and not the other way around!
And the best way to do that is to challenge yourself consistently and on a daily basis.
Forget him or her for once second and think about who YOU are, what YOU love and who YOU want to be!
If you can strive to be this person, and find yourself again you will be well on your way to overcoming emotional dependence and inspiring the one you love to give it another shot!
Getting back with a first love is more than possible if you are patient
When I interact with the many people who seek my guidance and services every day, I am often asked about the possibility of an ex moving on for good, forgetting about you or even meeting someone else.
This fear of loss is one of the biggest mental blocks for the many people around the world who aspire to do a radio silence, go through a process of personal development, or even fully commit to doing what it takes to win back an ex .
This fear of loss is in reality just a simple illusion; sorry to be blunt but you have ALREADY lost the one you love since your ex has broken up with you… what more do you really have to lose?
Furthermore, constantly reaching out to an ex and desperately trying to stay in touch will actually make them more likely to settle for someone else in order to move on as quickly as possible!
If your ex is indeed your first love, and you have felt a deep love and connection, you need to realize that it won’t be as easy as you may think for them to move on and to jump into another viable relationship.
Plus you’ll need a little bit more self-belief than that, and value what you bring to the table.
Do you really feel like your ex could replace you that easily?
Which leads me to my next point; most people have a tendency to put their ex on a pedestal after a breakup because they are still in a state of emotional dependence.
Even if that is the love of your life, don’t make that mistake. Value yourself, focus on what you need to do to become a better you and the rest will follow in time!
Getting back with a first love and staying together requires you to take a long term approach; it is not a sprint, it’s a marathon…
Again if a breakup occurred it’s because something was wrong in the relationship, and the only way to make things work is for you both to take the time to resolve your individual issues first and the collective ones afterwards.
So please, please, please be patient!
If this is the man or the woman of your dreams then don’t rush things.
In the introduction of this article, I spoke about a woman named Lisa that I have been coaching over the phone. When she first came to me she was devastated by the fact that her then fiancé and first love at told her that he wanted to breakup.
She was at the bottom of the barrel and like most people made quite a few mistakes hoping to win him back sooner rather than later. But Lisa inspired me because or her resiliency; she is a proud lady who knows what she wants, and one that won’t take no for an answer.
So what did she do?
Well, she followed my advice and committed to the process of giving her ex fiancé space and going back to what truly makes her happy! Her hobbies and her dedication to achieving her own personal goals inspired her ex.
Simply put he could not stand seeing her happy and not partaking in her growth. Being away from Lisa highlighted that she was not the issue, and that he had issues of his own that he had pinned on the relationship.
She didn’t have to win him back, he came back on his own!
And that is why I felt inspired to share Lisa’s story (with her permission) in order to inspire others to take control of their destiny and love life as well.
You can do it too, you can get back with your first love if you are patient and resilient, just like Lisa was!
I hope that her story will inspire you to do what it takes to win back the heart of the one you love.
If you feel alone, or helpless…know that you are not!
Don’t hesitate to leave your questions in the comments section of this article; I make it a point to answer each and every one I receive.
So like I said, you are not alone…I am here to help!
I wish you all the very best in your quest to be with your first love.
From my heart to yours,
Relationship Expert from WithMyExAgain.Com