Each and every single one of us goes through it. Your first heartbreak confronts you with emotions you’ve never experienced before, and pain in your heart like nothing else. You’re hurt, you’re angry, you’re confused, and right now, it feels hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Whether you want your ex back or not, there are things that you can start doing today to help you get to the other side of this challenging period and you’ve come to the right place. I am going to go over getting over your first love and heartache and what you can start doing today to help you feel better.
It’s going to require time and patience, but love is like any other drug. When it is suddenly taken away from you, you experience withdrawal symptoms and it feels like it’s going to consume you. But just like with any other drug, if you sweat this thing out, you’re going to be able to bounce back. You just have to remember that it’s all under your control and you have the power to do things that are going to speed up the recovery process.
You always have a choice. Either you stay cooped up and isolated at home, binge watching shows and eating ice-cream, or you can take matters into your own hands and get in control of your life. The fact that you’re on this website right now means you’ve already made the choice to start feeling better, so hats off to you!
How to get over your first love starting today
Though it might seem very hard right now, the very first thing to do is going to be tackling the whirlwind of negative emotions you’re experiencing. You’re probably wondering how long this pain is going to last, what your ex is thinking and feeling, and what you can do to get out of this situation.
When people want to get back together with their exes, this is often when they make the most mistakes. This surge of emotions turns into panic at the thought of losing the ex in question, so they end up acting in ways that create roadblocks in their path towards success in restoring the relationship.
Clingy or needy behavior is common at this point, but so are empty promises and trying everything in their power to prove that they’ll do anything for them. Putting your ex on a pedestal is a mistake, especially because it clouds your vision.
Your main focus right now needs to be YOU.
A lot of people come to me and ask, “Can you get over your first love,” and “Is there anything I can do to stop feeling so much pain right now?” And I always tell them that yes, there are plenty of things that you can do. You are in complete control of the situation because you are in control of your actions from here on out.
You can either be proactive and start doing things that benefit your short term and long term wellbeing, or you can go out and get drunk every night, wake up hungover, and spend the rest of your time wallowing in self pity alone in your room.
A person’s first break up is especially challenging because you’ve never had to navigate these waters before. But that doesn’t mean that you aren’t going to get through this! You have a plethora of tools available to you right here on this site.
Instead of fixating on thoughts like ‘My world is falling apart, this is an emotional apocalypse, I don’t know what I’m going to do,” I’d like you to hit cruise control and know that this is going to get easier. There is no quick fix for the pain you feel after breaking up with your first love. It’s about time, growth, lessons, and discipline.
Growth is painful! If it was easier, everyone would be doing it, but you can set yourself apart from so many other people by looking at this head on and using it as a tool for making yourself into the 2.0 version of yourself.
Your mind and heart are muscles, which means that it’s in your power to strengthen them! This is what will turn the whole thing around and allow you to get your ex back…. Or not if thats not in your plans!
Whatever your end goal is, becoming the new and improved version of yourself, and not depending on this other person, is what will set you up for a happy and bright future.
So that said, what are the best ways to get over your first love?
Getting over your first love: What to do starting now
When you are trying to get over your first love and navigate through your first real heartbreak, the key is going to be to take ACTION. As I said, sitting around isn’t going to do you any good. Now is the ideal time to start becoming proactive in your own life so that you can start making positive changes.
Oftentimes the best place to start is by looking at what passions got placed on the back burner while you were in this relationship. Start making a list of things you stopped doing that used to bring you a great amount of joy. How can you start reintroducing these elements into your life?
What people have you stopped spending time with that used to make you very happy? It could be friends, family members, colleagues…
Start dedicating time to picking up your hobbies again and spending time with people you wish you saw more of. The busier you get, the better you’re going to begin to feel.
Make a conscious effort to start filling your schedule up with things that bring you joy, and try to focus on things that will benefit you in the long run.For example, setting out to discover new restaurants with your close friends will be better for you in the long run than going out and taking shot after shot tonight and not remembering what you did tomorrow morning.
You don’t want your short term satisfaction to damage your long term satisfaction and happiness.
Also, start looking for new places and activities. That kind of new stores and restaurants have opened up in your city? What kind of events could you guys do check out? What kind of activities have you been meaning to try but have never gotten around to? Yoga? Surfing? Painting?
Now is the time to start trying these things out!
While doing so, I highly recommend getting physically active or switching up your workout routine. You would be surprised at how much this can help you to feel better – especially when you want to know how to get over your first serious relationship. Getting your endorphins and serotonin flowing will boost your mood and your energy, and the physical improvements you see will help you with your self confidence. It’s normal to experience a decrease in self esteem after a breakup because the ego takes quite the hit.
Now is the time to learn from everything that’s happened and use it to help you to develop a new identity that you can be proud of. In doing so you will restore your self confidence and your positive outlook on life. If you want your ex back, this is exactly what will inspire him or her to want to get closer to you. If not, it will help you to turn the page and confidently move on, knowing what you have to offer.
Just remember to get yourself busy, spend time with people that make you happy, pick up old hobbies, set out to find new ones, and grab life by the horns. These experiences, though excruciating, serve as valuable lessons that propel us towards happiness… as long as we make the conscious effort to learn from them. Without this breakup, you might not have had the electroshock you needed to become the absolute best version of yourself.
Once you become the 2.0 version of yourself, you’ll be ready to meet the right person, or perhaps even get back together with your ex!
We are here to help you every step of the way, so please don’t hesitate to reach out to us right here or leave your question in the comments section below.
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you’re getting over your first love
I Know We Are Meant To Be!
Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love... for good!