After many years of being together, it’s never easy to accept the breakup and the fact that you no longer live with the person that you love. The transition between the life of a couple and the single life isn’t simple. Your feelings are still strong and you’re having trouble moving forward alone because you had become so used to being in a relationship with your ex-significant other.
It’s perfectly normal to feel empty after having gone through a separation, especially if you had been together for a long time. The good news is that there are techniques that have been designed to rekindle the flame after years of love and to put the pieces back together; Getting your ex back after a long term relationship is of course possieble! You just need to figure out what type of process of getting back together you’re going to have to begin.
You should feel reassured that getting back together with an ex that you spent years with is far from impossible. You of course have your doubts and you might be thinking that your ex-partners decision is final, but this in fact is not the case at all. It is in your hands and you can bring about change by designing an effective plan of action that will get a positive reaction out of the person you love.
Of course you have to adapt the pieces of advice to your specific situation and each action has to be well thought out, but don’t be a defeatist. Believe in yourself as you begin this endeavor and don’t let the flame die out forever. You have shared incredible moments and experiences, and you know each other inside and out so get your ex’s love back because this is an essential element that will guide you in your attempt at getting back together. You’re not starting over again. In this article I will explain to you what to do when you’ve found yourself in this situation.
The difference between a short term and a long term relationship when you’re trying to get back together
.One thing that makes my service unique is my ability to analyze and to make distinctions between important details.
When I am doing interviews, sometimes people ask me, “Adrian, why is it important to distinguish between a short term and a long term relationship when you want to get your ex back? After all, love is love!”
A lot of people wonder why this differentiation is important and what the difference is between 2 young adults that were together for 3 months and a couple that had been married for 25 years. When I put it that way, it is probably clearer!
That said, many people feel that there is no big difference between a couple that separates after 6 months and another one that separates after 10 years of marriage, and that the techniques used to get back together are the same. If you hear a coach telling you that they’re one in the same, run in the opposite direction! If you are convinced of the same thing as well, then go ahead and close this window because I unfortunately can’t do anything for you!
Getting an ex back is not a piece of cake and that’s now how it works! Each little detail is important, so it’s imperative to know if your relationship was a long term one or not because it requires very specific actions.
The differences in emotions
If you had been together for less than a year then you’re in a situation that I call “passionate love at first sight” and you’ll discover many articles on this site that explore this subject. But to summarize, passionate love at first sight requires completely different methods than a long-term relationship.
The emotions haven’t settled in quite yet, you don’t know your partner as well as you would after having spent years together. In a long-term relationship, love has already become solid, and you’re no longer discovering the other person.
In a relationship that has lasted over a year, feelings develop little by little and in most cases, you knew how to communicate and you had shared exceptional moments. It’s therefore hard to break the relationship and to make the decision to separate. This doesn’t necessarily mean that getting your ex back after a long-term relationship is easier…It just means that the causes are different and that this determines the required actions.
The causes of the breakup
More often than not, separations that happen after a long-term relationship are the result of a serious lack of communication, a routine that starts to take over, or unfulfilled promises.
After a few years you stop taking the initiative, and you might start taking your partner for granted. You stay locked up at home and your passions start to fizzle out. It’s normal to go through a period of stagnation in a relationship; you can’t always be going all out. Oftentimes this period lasts too long and ends up weakening the relationship. “Young couples” on the other hand are much more prone to unexpectedly break up after a bad fight or the sudden loss of feelings.
Accepting the breakup is harder
After a marriage, having kids together, and especially after 15 years of life together, it’s exceedingly hard to bounce back after a breakup. When two people separate after a short relationship, it can cause indescribable pain but when two people separate after years or even decades, they can undergo a serious emotional shock that can have sizable consequences.
In truth, the longer and more intense the relationship was, the harder it is to move on from it. After many years of being together, you had planned a future together. You probably still live under the same roof but after your ex brought up divorce you stopped sleeping in the same bed and your daily life had been turned upside down.
This is a main part of the reason why trying to get your ex back after a long-term relationship requires specific techniques that are adapted to the situation. You have to pinpoint the appropriate actions in regards to what was going wrong in the heart of your relationship not so long ago.
Techniques for getting your ex back after a long term relationship!
Based on my experience, I know that you’re currently wondering two things: “Can I get my ex back?” and “How can I do it?”
First of all, the answer is YES! As not all of you are experts in the field, I’ll be precise, you will greatly benefit from my help in improving the current state of your love life.
On top of that, you will have an advantage! You know your ex better than anyone; you know what you have in common, what you disagree on, what they like, what they’re passionate about…You already have certain things that can lead you back to them. You have to focus on these details as you reestablish communication, so that you don’t have to cut contact and so that your can develop the affinity between you that had faded over time.
Given the fact that you were in a long relationship, you will have to use the classic techniques of getting your ex back that I talk about in the “How to get your ex back” chapter by using the well-known radio silence. This is a technique that will help you to make your ex miss you and to make them get closer to you. It’s imperative that you don’t spend all your time sending them messages or asking to meet up. You have to make some distance between you.
After years of having been together, especially if things had become routine, your goal should now be to give your ex a new and improved image of yourself. An image that is very different from the last impression they had of you that may have led to the breakup. By making positive changes, showing that you’re no longer going to make the same mistakes you did in the past, you’ll be able to bring something new to the table and you’re ex will be caught off guard. The changes they will see in you will make them start regretting having left you and will probably start to make them want you back… The ball will be in your court!
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Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love... for good!