Breakups are tough, there’s no doubt about that. But that’s one thing. What happens when you’re living with the guilt of knowing that something that you did caused the breakup? Perhaps it was one specific thing like being unfaithful to your ex that brought about the demise of your relationship, or maybe it was an accumulation of things over time. Whatever the case may be, you want to know how to apologize to an ex and earn a second chance.
But how exactly does a person do this? Is it even possible? What do you do if your ex doesn’t want to listen to you? In today’s article, I am going to go over how to handle this type of situation so that you can begin a new chapter with your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. I understand that this is a very tricky situation, but rest assured that I am here to help you from A-Z! As a dedicated love and relationship expert, I work with people who are experiencing the same thing you are experiencing on a daily basis, so let’s take a look at how to proceed!
Should I apologize to an ex: The honest answer
As I was saying above, I work with people who want to get back together within ex on a daily basis, so you can imagine how often people ask me whether or not it’s a good idea to apologize to an ex!
Every single relationship is an entirely unique so there are no general answers. Without knowing the intricacies of your relationship and breakup, I cannot tell you that YES you need to apologize to your ex boyfriend or girlfriend right this moment, or that perhaps you need to put some distance between you first.
It might come as a surprise, but some situations actually don’t require an apology even when you think that they do.
Now, I can tell you that if you have made big mistakes like cheating on your ex or if you did things that you really regret, then yes, you should apologize to your ex.
When you know you need to, and you are wondering about exactly how to apologize to an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, there are a couple different ways that you can do it.
Sure, you could pick up the telephone right now and ask to see them so that you can give them a tearful apology that shows how upset you are about what happened, but that isn’t necessarily the best approach…
In what cases is an apology to an ex not a great idea?
Well it is very important to recognize when it is appropriate to apologize to an ex, is also very important to recognize when it could actually be a negative thing.
I know that that might sound counterintuitive and surprising, but let me explain.
Sometimes I work with individuals who were very needy in their relationships with their ex partners. If you were needy, if you begged and pleaded with your ex, or if you put them on a pedestal during the relationship and during the break up, then apologizing to your ex is not a good idea right now. The truth is that this type of thing will only make your ex continue to feel like they are superior and in a position of power right now.
Please keep in mind that in many situations, it is your mindset that will determine your ability to get back together with the person that you love! So when you are trying to determine whether or not you should apologize to your ex, always take into account what that apology can do for you in your own life.
Many times, an apology to your ex will carry as much weight for them as it does for you, but it might be in very different ways.
How to apologize to an ex and get them back: Here’s the best way
When tensions are high between you and your ex because of something that you did, chances are that your ex might not be so receptive towards hearing what you have to say.
It is possible that they might be holding a grudge against you and don’t want to give you the time of day. On top of this, it is also highly possible that your ex will not believe anything that they hear from you when the wound is very fresh.
So… what exactly can you do? Should you harass your ex and force them to give you the time of day to hear you out? Well, this isn’t going to make them feel any less frustrated towards you…
Should you send them your apology in a lengthy text message? Should you get one of your mutual friends to tell your ex how sorry you are?
Again, these approaches are not going to help you accomplish your goal… but there is one thing that is perfect for this type of situation!
The letter is the perfect way to apologize to your ex
If you are familiar with our philosophy then you have probably heard of the handwritten letter. It Is the perfect tool when you need to respect your ex’s need for space, but still want to convey your apology to him or her in a meaningful way.
It is not as impersonal as a text message or an email, but it still respects the fact that your ex needs a little bit of space from you right now. It also offers you the opportunity to organize your thoughts and write them out in a targeted, well thought out manner. When you give your ex an apologizing message like this, you can present everything that you have come to understand, without making your ex feel pressured.
If they have a letter that they can read when they choose to do so , it already makes them feel more at ease.
Now, the first thing I want to clarify about this letter is that it is NOT a love letter. Nor is this a letter that is meant to sing your ex’s praises and beg them to take you back. In fact, these types of things in and apology letter to your ex could actually make things worse. I know you’re thinking I want to apologize” or perhaps you’re even looking for answers on how to say sorry to ex in a romantic way, but in all the years that I have spent in this line of work, I can tell you what works and what doesn’t.
If something happens that made your ex decide to pull the plug on this relationship, it means that they put their well-being first. In essence, they are more interested in protecting themselves than hearing you out. So if you write a love letter, you’ll be coming from a place of vulnerability and despair, which is unattractive.
Now, if you approach this letter as a tool to show your ex that you are taking responsibility for what you have done wrong, what you have come to understand, how you have grown, and what solutions you can offer in the future, you’ve got a powerful tool in your hands.
Instead of writing this letter in an attempt to change their mind, you want to show your ex that you have gained some perspective. You are not begging and pleading, you are not playing the blame game, nor are you offering empty promises.
This apology letter to your ex is intended to give them peace in knowing that their feelings are validated by you, and it can serve as a tool for planting a seed in your ex’s mind regarding the breakup that can be cultivated later on down the line. Simply put, this letter is a very valuable tool but it is not what is going to get your ex back.
The thing that will get your ex back are concrete actions that you carry out to improve your life, grow from the break up, become the new and improved version of the person that your ex fell in love with, and eventually open up a platform for communication.
Because this is such a powerful tool, we have many articles dedicated to it we can actually help you write the perfect letter to your ex. All you have to do is click the link.
As I said in the very beginning of this article, we are here to help you from A-Z so please don’t hesitate to reach out to me or a member of my team for one-on-one guidance. You can also leave any questions you may have in the comments section below.
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you want to know how to apologize to your ex
I Know We Are Meant To Be!
Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love... for good!