How to get your ex back after a short term relationship!

how to get your ex back after a short term relationship As you probably know (or as you’re finding out while reading the articles on this site!) I am a field coach. Thanks to my experience of hundreds of hours of counseling on matters of the heart, my conferences, and my books, I’ve been able to develop different tools and improve concepts that already exists in order to make them adaptable.

My biggest goal is to provide you with the most precise strategies that will increase your chances of getting back together with the person you care so much about. There are many different techniques available to you for convincing your ex to take you back but not everyone is appropriate to your situation. The question of how one should repair their broken relationship is never resolved in the same way.

In truth, each situation is unique and therefore yours has its own characteristics as well, just like I explain in my book, 70 Pro Tips To Get Back With Your Ex. Your relationship had its own characteristics and I’m sure you understand that a couple that was together for 3 months won’t have receive the same advice as a people with a relationship that lasted for 20 years. So it goes without saying that certain elements will determine your strategy on how to get your ex back after a short term relationship; or what I call “passionate love at first sight,” so keep find out what’s the best approach for you!

What is the most important thing to keep in mind when trying to get my ex back?

In my opinion, the most important thing to keep in mind when you want the person you love back might seem simple but as I’m writing these lines, you won’t find any other counselor that makes this distinction… even though it is crucial!

In fact it all depends on the length of your relationship. If you were in a relatively short relationship, then you had passionate love at first sight and subsequently the techniques that you will benefit from are different than those for someone that had been in a long-term relationship.

It’s important to make this distinction so that you can figure out adequate solutions, and this is exactly what I do in my personalized coaching sessions with my coachees. Before I get into what you need to know, it’s imperative that you know whether or not you had experienced a short-term relationship.

What is passionate love at first sight AKA a short term relationship?

To be clear, passionate love at first sight isn’t the same thing as ‘love at first sight,’ which when you feel an intense emotion at the first moment you see each other.

I can’t present you with new methods or to introduce new notions without telling you what they result in. If you’re familiar with my philosophy, if you’ve joined our community on Facebook, if you’ve already seen one of my many Youtube videos, or if you’ve read one of my books, you already know what I mean when I say “passionate love at first sight” and that not everyone experiences this. It’s therefore important to summarize so that you have all the keys to succeed in your attempt at getting back together with the person you care so much about!

As you’ve understood, in terms of getting back together, I distinguish between short-term relationships and long-term relationships, but you can have strong feelings in either one. Generally speaking, short term relationships tend to be a little bit different because usually only one of the two partners has fallen deeply in love. The other person tends to be in the phase between attachment and love. This is often what ends the relationship.

Passionate love at first sight isn’t an easy idea to grasp. It’s typically a relationship that has lasted under a year. I will explain to you why it’s so important to distinguish between the two lengths of relationships.

To be precise, it’s generally a relationship that hasn’t lasted more than 14 or 15 months. If this is your case, you’re still in the seduction phase, and you’re still discovering one another, and your attempt at getting back together will need a different approach. Using different, more appropriate techniques that correspond to what your relationship needs will have a much bigger impact.

So at this point, I bet you’re asking yourself something…

Why would a relationship that hasn’t lasted over a year be any different from other relationships?

As I was explaining above, relationships that lasted under a year, require different techniques because they haven’t yet had the time for habits to form. If you had been with your significant other for 6 months, you don’t know them as well as someone would know their partner after 15 years of marriage. The relationship wasn’t the same, and your approach to it isn’t the same either. This doesn’t mean that one is ‘better’ than the other; it just means that they’re not identical because you were still learning one another. It’s therefore normal that when your relationship experiences a crisis or worse still, a breakup, the solutions wouldn’t the same, don’t you think?

It’s not possible to fully know someone after a few weeks, especially if your partner was a stranger before you were in a relationship. The learning phase isn’t that simple and it can sometimes create a disconnect between the two partners and can result in a breakup. You have to be patient before you can be truly synchronized; before you can figure out your relationship’s rhythm, and this is something that a lot of people don’t realize.

On top of that, you’re not going to make huge decisions after just a few months. People rarely decide to have a baby with the person you’ve been with under a year, or to invest in a house together.

Whether you’re in your 30s, whether you’re a teenager, or a bit older you need time before you can fully invest in a relationship, to fully trust, and learn how to live with the person you want to build a future with. If there is one golden rule to respect in love, it’s to never rush things, to avoid going too fast as a result of being blinded by your feelings for your partner. It’s important to on the same page in terms of the rhythm to adopt with your partner because this is the most common cause of a breakup in a short-term relationship. In reality, it’s when one person wants to go faster than the other that things tend to go sideways, so it’s something to avoid. Keep this in mind because balance is essential as you begin to plan your attempt at getting back together.

Passionate love at first sight, as you can tell from its name, is something instantaneous that doesn’t last forever. You will therefore have to take things into your own hands so that it can endure.

How to get your ex back after a short term relationship

Experiencing passionate love at first sight doesn’t mean that you can’t use techniques for getting back together, but there are ones that are better adapted to your situation than the “classic” ones.

A lot of coaches will tell you that using radio silence or waiting for your ex to return are miracle solutions and that your ex will come back in no time. In truth, your relationship wasn’t long enough for you refuse contact and to put more distance between you than there is already simply because your absence won’t be felt as easily. Think about it, how deeply can you miss someone that you’ve known for 3 weeks for example?!

A rule after short relationships is to NOT use RS but to work on rekindling the flame by re-seducing your ex. You’ll have to revive your ex’s feelings for you as quickly as possible and in order to do so you have to understand what your ex wants. At some point there was an opening and you’ll be able to start things over by using seduction.

To be more ‘direct’ with your ex you have to place seduction at the heart of your attempt at getting back together. This is the element you’ll have to play up. You’re in fact going to have to focus more on seduction than on your endeavor. You have this possibility because your relationship was still relatively “young!” Your physique is something you can work on, your self-confidence and your body language will help to rekindle the flame. As you’ve understood, in passionate love at first sight, you have to play up attraction more than the emotional aspect.

Your coach for better understanding passionate love at first sight.

Sincerely,

Adrian

  • Laura

    Hello. I have read quite a few of your articles but to be honest i don’t think they can help in my situation. It was way too complicated and i am still not sure how it all went that way.

    Me and my ex had short term relationship and were together for 5 months before we broke up. Because of being young and stupid and for some weird reason since we met he really pushed to fully commit we moved in and live together (yes, stupid immature and terrible idea). Anyways, after 3months due to us both getting too close and too emotional towards each other we started having problems. We started arguing. He closed up, i pushed and one day i couldn’t deal with him being cold and unemotional so i asked him to leave. After two months of regretting and asking him to give another chance and doing all possible mistakes you can we kinda got back together. And that was only for a week. He was distant and closed and said that is what he wanted cause ot was easier. One day we got into a fight about new years as he decided to spend it with friends rather than with me. It hurt my feelings and brought out insecurities about his feelings towards me. Since i broke up with him he always said he doesn’t know if he loves me and maybe he doesn’t anymore. A person who said he couldn’t live without me just stop loving me. Anyways, after the fight over the new years he left me. He said that he couldn’t deal with me giving him shit all the time and that the second time we tried just reminded how it was in the end of the first time. So he left. After a week he said goobye to me wished me to find a man who will make me happy blamed all the problems of the relationship on me and said that he won’t be happy for a long time. Well and he decided to go back to the army. Almost a month has passed and intexted him asking if he was ok cause i kept dreaming abt jim and he didn’t reply. I realise that it is over and he wants nothing to do with me and he has no feelings and probably doesn’t care even though he said he did but i still seem to bot be able to moce on. It still hurts me the same way as it did the first time we broke up. He was the first person i loved so deeply and let so close to me. I feel as if i lost my whole life. I do want him back but not the same angry closed up arrogant and disrespectful as he was in the end. I want a person i got to know him to be: warm sweet sensitive and loving. Most likely it’s already too late and i lost him and he has moved on as he ignored me and blamed everything on me but i still don’t know how to move on and forget hom cause it’s destroying my kife and my health.

    And that is a short version of the story.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Laura,
      Thank you for sharing “the short” version of your story with me! I understand your pain and the fact that you may be disillusioned today. Although you are in a complicated situation I believe that I could help you change your mindset, evolve and dramatically increase your chances of getting back with the man you love!
      Figuring out how to get your ex back after a short term relationship can seem daunting at first when you are faced with negativity and bitterness but the truth is that your ex probably still has not yet fully moved on himself! You have definitely made quite a few mistakes that will make this process a challenging; but there is still hope if you are willing to really work on yourself, and go through a process of personal development together!
      Remember that most men do end up coming back at some point, the real question is if you’ll be ready to prove to him that you are the one that can make him happy in the long run — when the opportunity comes knocking!
      It would be my pleasure to help, don’t hesitate to reach out if you are serious about doing everything possible to win him back.
      Best of luck in your quest to get back with the man you love.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

      • Laura

        Hello Adrian,

        Well I can’t answer the question if I want him back cause I am pretty sure that’s impossible and I wasn’t the only one who messed up. But I do need help with actually letting go and just forgiving and forgetting ans it’s been almost 4 months and he is still on my mind every day. I still miss him i still love him and it still hurts and i am still angry. Fact is that if he actually ever wanted to be with me he wouldn’t have left and ignored me afterwards. I simply don’t know what to do anymore to let this go and it is destroying my life and i feel so empty inside.

        Kind Regards,

        Laura

        • CoachAdrian

          Hey Laura,
          Book a coaching session with me and I will help you move on in the best possible way; while also enable you to find balance and peace of mind in all aspects of your life.
          Hope to hear from you soon!
          Adrian

          • vanessa lopez

            Hello Adrian
            I think deep down I already know the answer but I guess for whatever crazy reason I still am hoping for a miracle.me and my ex gf only dated for 3 months. But it went fast and was serious quick. We met the families and friends..said I love you. Whole nine yards. But then of course honeymoon stage started to fade and now you are at the stage where your getting to know each other. There’s so many factors to why we started arguing about 3rd month in but I don’ t want this to be long…I’ll just sum it up…her changing jobs and not liking the new one..got depressed…struggles with depression… Me being debative and her not…(which I regret) at least on some things..just some differences all around..her saying she wanted to go back to college and couldn’t balance both…prescription drug problem (which I didn’t find out till I’m already emotionally involved)…of course the typical its not you…its me…her saying she felt she was holding me back from enjoying life…etc etc……i will also add that because it went so fast that I realized after she broke up with me that I always second guessed our love for each other…like why do I love her? And why does she love me? But after I realized that I truly did love her and really feel I would have been much different in the relationship if I had known before. More humble in other words and I wasn’t. I should have been because I realized so much after the BU but…it was too late…I $%&$ up and did the typical begging and pleading… Wanting her to give me that second chance …when really I was getting all kinds of reasons to why she broke up with me… One minute she would say “you did nothing wrong”….the next she was saying we argue to much at 3 months and we have nothing in common…(in the beginning this girl seemed crazy for me..so this was really hard to handle) and don’t think i ttreated her all bad…I actually was really good to her and always tried to admit my wrongs ..so OK By happened.. Begged for two weeks…stopped.. Text her again 3 days later…that one was probably the worst…ended badly because she was super cold…didn’t text for a week..apologized for things said and we texted back and forth a bit…..asked if she thought she would always feel good about her decision and she said it was hard to say that she was trying to get her life together… Said it wasn’t that she didn’t want to be with me but that she couldn’t… Had to fix her before she could fix “us”…..that made me feel a little better. However the conversation was nothing cozy and it didn’t end bad or good but just peacefully I suppose. I stopped contacting her…then messed up again after two weeks…thinking I could handle being friends…. I just really missed her so bad…but I knew what I really wanted …which was another chance later down the road…I asked her if she missed anything about us as we did really have a lot of good times but all she remembers is the negative…. She said the fighting.. Fk no I don’t miss it…this killed me…I never denied there was bad and in fact wanted to grow and change with her but she didn’t want to try…. Said you shouldn’t have to work so hard at something that should be natural… Killed me….I told her I still loved her and that ppl change and that’s when she said feelings change(oh and BTW she was OK with being friends..blah)…she said she didn’t feel the same towards me as she did before. I couldn’t handle it and in a nutshell that conversation didn’t go well either…something else happened but this is longer than I wanted…I told her she didn’t communicate with me very well in what she was feeling all tat time and that’s when she tells me she was always stressed because she never knew when another argument was gonna happen… One I don’t feel we argued that much…two..alot of them were because she was depressed with life( which she said I was the cause of) three I’m not scary to talk to. Debative yes but I’m not violent or anything lol…..update..last thing I told her was that I hated that all I do us stress her out and that I was sorry I didn’t make her happy..I said I wish I could turn back the hands of time(I do have regrets) but that I’ve truly loved her I’d let her go …that was over a month ago. I’m doing nc ..how long? As long as it takes for me to not want anything from her..and by then who knows maybe we can be friends maybe I won’t care. I’m also self improving..eating healthy..working out..taking care of things… We are still friends on Feb so idk..I guess I’m still hoping one day she will look past the negative and remember the good but even if she does she’s going for her masters in the summer so I kinda don’t think she would pursue anything anyway…plus she’s already said no feelings…said that she cares about me lol..anyways….thanks for listening…
            Sorry so long…hard to condense it

  • Julia Vicic

    Hi,

    So I only just encountered this website today and I was hoping that maybe you could help me with my situation. The cheat sheet version is: my ex and I were together for only 2 weeks before he broke up with me 3 weeks ago (I know…you’re probably thinking “Two weeks?? Just move on!”, but I really miss him). Here’s the (much) longer version:

    A little over a month ago, I was talking to a guy after a class. I was enjoying his company, so I went back with him to his place, where we ended up talking for at least an hour. We went to watch a movie, and he kissed me. Things kinda got intense at this point (I’ll spare you the details), and he told me he had been interested in me since the beginning of the semester, and I said that I had always thought he was cute. I asked if he wanted to commit and he said yes, suggesting we make it official on New Year’s. Well, I spent the next night with him, during which he said he loved me, which should have been a red flag, but in the heat of the moment I said “I love you too.” Two days later he stopped texting me nearly as much as he had before (well, he stopped replying to my texts since I was usually the one to initiate contact). We both went back home (different states) for winter break and he went a whole week without texting me and just flat-out ignoring me, until I finally sent a confrontational text asking him what was going on and if he had just been taking advantage of me. He asked to call me, and he did, two days later. I knew what was coming. He ended the relationship, saying that he felt that we had only been doing what he had wanted to do and he didn’t want to keep hurting me, and that things had started way too fast and the relationship wouldn’t end well. Even though I told him I had wanted to do that stuff too and he hadn’t hurt me (until he stopped texting), he still insisted that we break it off. I can’t tell you how many times he said “It’s not you, it’s me.” At the end of the conversation, he apologized and I lost my head and said “Bullshit!” to which he said “Alright, then” and hung up. So I texted him that it wasn’t okay for him to hang up, and I also asked why he hadn’t just told me earlier. A few hours later, he sent me a long text about how this “wasn’t what [he] was looking for in a relationship”, and that he should’ve told me before but he thought the lack of contact would be a hint. Again, he said it wouldn’t have worked out in the end, and said he was sorry for what he had put me through and that he hoped I’d find someone better than him. The day after, I was no longer sad, and the more I thought about it, the more I believed that he had just used me for sex and had made up all of the reasons for breaking up to cover up the fact that he had just wanted to get into my pants. I never wrote back to him, and I don’t plan to.

    I thought I was fine, but when I saw him after getting back to school (on the first day of classes), my stomach got all tense and I was really distracted and upset for the rest of the day. I have not been contacting him, but I have been dressing up (which I normally do) and doing my hair and makeup differently in hopes that it would catch his attention, but I don’t think it has because I never see him look over at me.
    We were hardly together for any time at all, and we really rushed things, but I really miss him and I the way he made me feel. Is there anything I can do to get him back, even though the relationship was so short? (I should probably also mention that he was my first “boyfriend,” although he ended it before we got to make it official)

    Thanks,
    Julia

    P.S. Oh, also I’m not sure, but I think he was afraid of commitment, despite all his promises, since he’s never had a girlfriend outside of a summer music festival (those last 1-2 months). He even told me “You’re my first girlfriend that I’ve ever had outside of a summer program.” So if I could also get some tips on how to make him commit, that’d be greatly appreciated! Thank you for taking the time to read this.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Julia,
      Thank you for the detailed post and inquiry. To be perfectly honest I think that your ex’s intentions were never good; it feels like he only said what you wanted to hear in order to get what he wanted. His behavior leads me to believe that he does indeed have a fear of commitment and that he lacks the courage and integrity to face the consequences of his actions. I know that you have feelings for this man and that you would have hoped that this relationship panned out, but my advice to you would be to move on by starting a process of personal development. He simply doesn’t deserve you.

      If you would like to talk it through in greater details or seek my advice and support don’t hesitate to book a coaching session! It would be my pleasure to help you meet your goals.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • James

    Hello!
    (sorry for my English)
    I just discovered this website and it seems really useful !
    I was wondering if you could just give me a piece of advice in my situation.
    I’ve been living a passionate relationship for a few month. We already broke up once (she did, actually) but we got back together after a few weeks. NOw we just broke up (well, she did) two weeks ago for several reason (arguments for bullshit, mistakes from my side… but the main reason is that her feelings were getting less powerful). I really wanna get her back… I think I’ve committed mistakes by texting her after the breakup, cause I feel that she doesn’t want to talk to me when I’m approaching her by any way, but when I ignored her she just asked me why I was doing that.
    Could you just help me to get more confident, attractive to her? Should I stop contact ?
    Thanks
    James

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey James,
      Thanks for sharing your story.
      Your ex probably left you (twice) because you were too needy and no longer a challenge for her. You will need to be strong and control your urge to reach out to her. I think that a no contact period of a couple of weeks could help you shift the tables and regain control of the balance of power – but whatever you do stop chasing her or putting her on a pedestal!!
      I would even recommend using social media to show that you are moving on and far from depressed..in order to play on her insecurities and make her doubt her decision. But ultimately, in order for your relationship to work out you will need to find a way to be more secured and more emotionally independent.
      It would be my pleasure to help so don’t hesitate to reach out and to book a coaching session if you want to do everything possible to win her back and be in a happy and stable relationship.
      Best of luck either way!!
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Pedro

    Hi
    i had a very intense passionate relationship with my ex for about 3 or 4 weeks
    we spent 24/7 together aside from our work shifts.we broke up due to a mistake i did but that is not that huge i guess.i can say that she was all into me and already falling for me.she never wanted to leave me for a second whenever we were, she always wanted to be with me.after the argument she said she wanted some space, we kept talking a little a bit then she blocked me saying it was hard for her to move on cause she has to stop thinking about me but she still have to move on.i tried to talk her into her reasons but she kept on pushing me and i did mistakes by kinda being needy which i never was in the relationship so she just ended now shutting me down, im in one week no contact but i really want her back and even her she knows that im a great guy and worth it but said she cant trust me anymore.i have tried everything but nothing worked.i love her and i dont know how it happened so fast but i can say that it was too much of chemistry in there !! what should i do ?

  • S

    Hello !
    ( sorry of my english )
    We met in the December, He then invited me to dinner and expressed all his feeling without hesitation. For the following days, I get back to Paris and I have so much doubts about the distance relationship and he felt that. We have a discussion about it and after that he started to text me and to talk to me at evry moment of the day to convince me about his good intentions. We did FaceTime every night and talk via whatsapp all along the day. I felt really one of his priority and he shared with me his fear about his job, what is his plan of the day and so on.. Besides that, he supported me during my exams’ period and when I moved out to my new house. He has the ability to motivate me and give me the strength to face my loneliness in France. Hence, I get used to this relation. He also planned to come to see me a weekend in Paris but unfortunately He missed the flight. Then He had a work at February 20th in Paris. So He planned to come the 15th to spend some days together before and we
    ’ve started to plan lot of thing. We project ourself to fast into this week. But as the 15th approached, lot of circumstances started to happen. My best friend couldn’t find an apartment in Paris so I had to host her. I called him to explain the situation and ask him to find a hotel or another apartment. But he completely understood the situation and He then got an Airbnb and asked me to move with him during the week. For sure, I accept without hesitating even if He was insisting and warn me to not tell him that I can’t let my friend alone. By February 15th, ( the day of his arrival) I get too sick and I had to go to see a doctor but I didn’t tell him because I wanted our first day to be MAGIC as I expected. Then I’ve taken the train to the airport with my luggage to surprise him, and get stolen because of my inattention. I know that sounds very awkward but it was definitely the worse day in my life ! I’ve started to have doubts about the relation but decided to go meet him and not tell him my problems. I try my best to be as joyful as the first time we’ve met, we went to a restaurant and get back to his apartment where I’ve decided to get a taxi because I wasn’t feeling well. I told him that I was sick and that I will come back the day after with my luggage to stay with him. He sent me his french number the following morning and told me he had some meeting during the day. I let him some space and I didn’t want to disturb him. At 10pm, he send me a message to tell me that He didn’t get a « GREAT FEELING » and He prefered to put an end to the relation. I get lot of regrets because I knew that he takes the decision without knowing the real reasons of my acting. I tried to reach him but He refused to respond to any of my messages or my calls. I let him some space because I knew that he was stressed about the show. I’ve then sent him a text to encourage him for his show and he respond to it. I went back to Morocco also to be closer to him and insisted to see him to explain him the situation but he always told me an excuse and that he hadn’t so much time. I get lot of depressed and sent him an audio where I explain to him what’s really happened that night and tell him that He isn’t supposed to respond and that I want to stay in good term with him. He then didn’t respond..

    I don’t know what to do to see him before I wend back to Paris. I feel that it’s so unfair to end this relationship like that, I’m really in love with him and I don’t want to lose him but I really don’t know what to do !!! I neglect him and I’m ready to do anything to show him that I’m willing to change and that I want to be with him. I’m totally convinced that we could be so Happy together !

    • CoachAdrian

      Hello S,
      Thank you for sharing your story with me. I understand how frustrated you must feel and I would really like to help you as I feel like this was all a big misunderstanding. It is a tricky situation however because you guys never had the time to actually get to know the other person! However, if you felt a connection and if he was indeed willing to do a lot in order to come meet up with you, I do feel that it can be possible to rekindle the spark. I urge you to book a coaching session with me in order for me to ask you with more private information about the nature and dynamic of your relationship. You should definitely stop chasing him around in order to avoid making more mistakes until we have a clear plan to win him back.
      I hope to hear from you soon.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Akam

    Hello, I’m actually in a really bad situation. I’ve been in a short term I mean I met my ex last year and we been together for about 7 mouth but I got in love with her so quick and I’m so in love with her at the bigging we were fine and quite happy but few months after that argues start between us but it wasn’t onle me to start argues but she always blames me about argues. At the same time she knew that I love her so much and I was worry a lot about her but I bit she getts annoying to see me in that way. However we brek up and that was onle her desicion to brek up I wasn’t willing to accept that but she keep wallks away she keep tells me just a frinds we still having contact sometime but I felt that she want to keep ignoring me when i talk about to getting bk together. I really need help coz I just cannot move on and I just want her bk coz I’m so in love with her and I just can’t give up.. I’m wondering the other day I send her a message to see what day is her birthday coz I knew it was her birthday in this month but I wasn’t sure what day was her birthday she ignored me and a few days after she sent me a texts she said is been my birthday

  • Akam

    Hello, I’m actually in a really bad situation. I’ve been in a short term I mean I met my ex last year and we been together for about 7 mouth but I got in love with her so quick and I’m so in love with her at the bigging we were fine and quite happy but few months after that argues start between us but it wasn’t onle me to start argues but she always blames me about argues. At the same time she knew that I love her so much and I was worry a lot about her but I bit she getts annoying to see me in that way. However we brek up and that was onle her desicion to brek up I wasn’t willing to accept that but she keep wallks away she keep tells me just a frinds we still having contact sometime but I felt that she want to keep ignoring me when i talk about to getting bk together. I really need help coz I just cannot move on and I just want her bk coz I’m so in love with her and I just can’t give up.. I’m wondering the other day I send her a message to see what day is her birthday coz I knew it was her birthday in this month but I wasn’t sure what day was her birthday she ignored me and a few days after she sent me a texts she said is been my birthday

    • CoachAdrian

      Hello Akam,
      Thank you for sharing your story. From what I gather, it seems that you are being way too needy or overbearing. You need to do a radio silence in order to shift the balance of power and to make her start to chase you.
      For more information, I invite you to check out this free guide: https://www.withmyexagain.com/guides/no-contact-rule/
      If you are serious about doing everything possible, I invite you to book a one on one coaching session with me. We could speak over the phone or via Skype!
      I wish you the best of luck.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Kofipo

    Hello
    Well, we meet about 2 months ago, she had a huge crush on me… Then we started dating for a month and theb she broke up with me because she said she was affraid of comitement and she said the it’s better for her to be left alone…
    I’m not sure what to do now?!

    • CoachAdrian

      Hello Kofipo,
      Apologies in the delay in getting back to you!
      I obviously would need to know more about you and the dynamics of your relationship in order to advise you in the best possible way.
      Until we have a chance to speak, I would urge you to not chase her in order to avoid making mistakes.
      It would be my pleasure to help you win her back after this short term relationship if that is what your heart wants…
      Looking forward to hear from you.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Jennifer Bebey

    My ex and i were together for 7 months. I did not come across your recommendation/advice until recently and I have already been in radio silence/no contact for a little over a month? Will it be too late? How can I initiate contact?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey,
      I will need more information to tell you how you should initiate contact and what to do. But what I can tell you is that it’s never too late to make things right.
      The best option is always to reach out to me via a one on one coaching session in order for me to provide you with an in depth tailored game plan.
      Best of luck,
      Adrian

  • Agur

    We moved in together very quickly and lived together almost 5 months before a big fight and i ran off and left him. I really want him back but I don’t think he wants me back.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Agur!
      It’s usually easier to get back with an ex when you decided to breakup or leave rather than the other way around!
      Book a coaching session with me and I will help you approach him the right way in order to maximize your chances of getting back together!
      I hope to hear from you soon.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

      • Leanne

        Hi I was with my ex for 9 years an lived with him 5 years we split just over 2months ago he still has my stuff an has not packed them there exactly were I left them nothing has been moved I still have my key but he has not asked me to come get my things a leave the key we also have a dog witch j go take out when he is in work he didn’t seem to be bothered am taking the dog out he still has my number an not blocked me we’ve not seen each other since we split

        • CoachAdrian

          Hey Leanne,
          From what you are telling me it seems that your relationship is salvageable! The best would be for you to book a coaching session in order for me to grasp what led to the breakup and to provide you with a plan on how to make things right quickly!
          I sincerely hope to hear from you soon.
          Regards,
          Adrian

  • Sam

    So I just recently broke up with my ex 2 and a half weeks ago, and instead of letting it be, I tried my hardest to contact him. After a week he blocked my calls, after 2 weeks he blocked me on one other app. I still am able to contact him but I’m attempting the no contact rule. I do want to get back with him, because the break up was rash and our relationship is young(less than 6 months). But on the other hand I don’t cause he still has feelings for his ex and probably annoyed with me by now. Ps. This is our second blow up fight and the first that ended with no communication. Is it worth getting back with him?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Sam,
      It is worth trying to get him back if you think that this is the right person for you. It is very common for people to make similar mistakes following a breakup and to chase their ex. To make things right, you will have to focus on improving yourself first and foremost; regaining some self-confidence, and being more positive in general and happy! Only then will you be in a prime position to get back with your ex…not the other way around.
      It would be my pleasure to help, so don’t hesitate to reach out if need be!
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

      • Sam

        I have an other problem. I’m new to the area and still haven’t meet anyone friend or otherwise and that was a key problem. I did depend on him a lot to fulfil the social aspect of my life. And it’s difficult to make friends here for a number of reasons. Like what now?

        • CoachAdrian

          Book a coaching session with me, it will be beneficial to you in many ways!

  • Kyle

    So I was with my ex for 2 months we spent everyday together and he was my best friend, it end because I had a wall up and didn’t tell him I wanted to be in a relationship, we broke up and then 3 weeks later he has a new relationship, I told him that I did want a relationship, and he said he did want one with me at the time we were together but didn’t think breaking it off with the new girl would be a good move, he said he wants to be friends, he was crying with me over the fact that if we just comuncated better we would still be together. I have never hurt so much in my life,
    I want him back, I know it was a short relationship, but I can’t get the feeling out of my head that this would have been a great relationship. How do I go about getting him back?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey!
      Don’t despair it is probably still possible to win back the heart of the one you love if you play your cards right. I don’t usually suggest this approach after a short term relationship, but based on what you are telling me here I would advise that you use the “excuse” of wanting to stay friends and on good terms to seduce him again over time. You seem to have a very strong connection, so by spending time together and proving to him that you are the one that can make him happy you could be able to change his mind quickly! In order for this to work you will have to control your emotions, and resist the urge to say or show how in love you are.
      It would be my pleasure to help you, so don’t hesitate to reach out and to book a coaching session with me if you need support moving forward.
      From my heart to yours,
      Adrian

  • CoachAdrian

    Hey Vanessa,
    Thanks for sharing your story!
    As you pointed out, I think that most of the mistakes were made AFTER the breakup rather than before… by being so needy you definitely pushed her away and made it easier for her to let go.
    That said I do think that it is possible for you to get back together down the road if you truly want too.
    You are already heading into the right direction with the NC.
    Eventually you will need to truly evolve and redefine how she perceives you, it’s possible and can really be done.
    But for this to work out you will need to experience a true personal transformation, become so appealing that she will have no choice but to come to terms with the fact that you are the one that can make her happy.
    She would have to be the one chasing you in a sense…
    It would be my pleasure to help if you are serious about going through this process, just book a session and we could start working together right away!
    Wishing you all the very best,
    Adrian

    • vanessa lopez

      Adrian

      I know. I believe too I would have a better chance if I had just let go from the beginning and not begged. was so hard and not entirely expected. I really think a minimum of two months no contact is needed. Minimum. But even after that since I already tried after two weeks no contact and she said she had no feelings…I really shouldn’t try again should I?? Just see if I hear from her and if not let it go?

      • CoachAdrian

        2 weeks was not enough to rebuild your image.
        You’ll need a plan, it’s not just about not contacting her…
        Hope to speak with you soon.
        Sincerely,
        Adrian

        • vanessa lopez

          And how much is a coaching?

          • CoachAdrian

            Prices vary depending on the package chosen, but we could speak via phone for as little as $79.
            Here is the complete breakdown of our offers: https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
            Looking forward to speaking with you.
            Best,
            Adrian

  • Jeff Scheynen

    Hey

    I and my ex 2 months ago broke up

    we had 3 months of a relationship and she has this stopped

    We are still friends and have contact once a week

    the reason for the break up was that she is not yet ready for a new relationship

    she had before me a relationship for 6 years with someone else

    this relationship was when I met her just over for one month

    my question is how do I do this well? I’m still in love with her and think she’s the woman I want to share my life with
    how should i react or act?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Jeff,
      The key for you will be to quickly reestablish contact with her the right way, meaning you can be too needy or show too much emotion. You have to be detached and to keep in light in order to prove to her that you can make her happy without putting too much pressure on her…
      If not you will end being a rebound.
      Let me know if you need help putting this plan in place, it would be my pleasure to work with you!
      Regards,
      Adrian

      • Jeff Scheynen

        t’here stil is our holiday we had plant on 9th of may next week
        we have normal contact based on frendship or wath is left of this
        i’m not greedy anymore to get her back bud my feelings are still strong
        so wath is the plan here to make her in love and this holliday a succes between friends ? i know patiens will be key. i just need some advice on this

        • CoachAdrian

          Book a coaching session so that we can discuss this in depth and prepare for this vacation the right way!

  • Danielle

    Hi Adrian!
    I’ve been seeing a guy for three months. We recently ended things over a heated argument at his formal event. We were exclusive. But recently I noticed a change in him of being distant and not as eager to hang out. Which gets you questioning things. The added element is he’s in medical school. He did say he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. This happened three weeks ago. Ive been doing NC. I enjoy his company but many hurtful things were said, I believe out of anger.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Danielle,
      Thanks for sharing your story!
      I would advise you to quickly touch base in order to reestablish contact in a light informal way…without necessarily asking to see him right away.
      The key here is to prove that you can communicate with each other without drama, and to not let too much time pass because your relationship was very short. You cannot let the fire die…
      Don’t hesitate to reach out to me and book a coaching session if you would like me to help you implement these steps and be there to support you through this!
      Wishing all the very best,
      Adrian

  • Malaya

    It was short only 5-6 months but he had always seemed into me just recently got distant but would still find time to see me and then suddenly ended things because he said he started to see me as a friend. What’s my best approach?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Malaya,
      I would need to know a bit more about what attracted him to you…and what you two share in common.
      But based on the little info you are providing me with here, the best may be to use reverse psychology to make him want you.
      You may have become to attainable, no longer a challenge and so you lost your appeal…
      So don’t be afraid to say “OK” to pretend like you are happy moving on, put yourself back on the market and show him that you won’t chase him…
      It could be enough to make him come after you pretty quickly.
      Don’t hesitate to reach out and book a coaching session if need be; we could work together to ensure that you implement this game plan the right way and bring him back for good!
      Best,
      Adrian

  • nidalee

    hi adrian
    so i’ve been with my ex for 1 month and a half or so, it’s all been going very well we were deep into each other felt really good about each other and during that month it kept growing exponentially, we had great physical intimity and were on good terms and agreed on lots of points, unfortunately the last two weeks were a bit hard as the relationship started cooling down, we decided to have a discussion about it and if you want to we can talk about it in detail, at the last week she told that she wasn’t feeling well, that she might have feelings for her ex and that we went too fast on this relationship, i advised her to talk to her ex to sort out her feelings (which looking might not have been the best course of action) and 2 days ago she broke up with me, afterwards she called me to tell me that she actually did talk to her ex and it’s as she stated before : that relationship was over and she doesn’t want to go back to him but it’s just that she doesn’t want to go further into this one if it’s just because she couldn’t go back to the ex, but mainly she didn’t want to go back because she feels that this is kinda strange and that it shouldn’t go this way because after all that affection she carried for me, she loses attraction to me now (i can explain it as part of it me not seducing her anymore as i might have showed much more care about the relationship and her and me always being present and there)
    anyway she lost attraction to me and after thinking it over, i think i didn’t get my chance and that it really shouldn’t go this way, i want to get her back so is there a way and how is that possible? (knowing that this is the end of the year and there’s only two weeks on for exam preparing and other for exams and then there’ll be a summer break in which i might not see her before the start of next year at september, so i’m really wondering what to do about this)

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Nidalee,
      The best may be for you to book a phone coaching session with me in order for us to discover this matter in further detail. I understand that time is of the essence, and so if you are committed to doing everything possible to win her back I strongly urge you to book a session quickly.
      It would be my pleasure to help you with a tailored game plan that you’ll feel comfortable about implementing.
      Looking forward to it!
      Best,
      Adrian

  • Nicole

    What’s your best suggestion for playing hard to get with an ex but not to the point he moves on. Like should I still text him and not suggest to meet or is it okay to suggest meeting not as a date after awhile is this look too desperate ?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Nicole,
      It really all depends on the dynamics of your relationship. I like to give tailored advice and would therefore need to know more about you and what you are going through in order to advise you in the best possible way!
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • EXPAT

    I was seeing a girl for about a month (4 dates), and after the night when she met my friends and I slept at hers (after we had an amazing night of open conversations about everything, including relationships [most questions coming from her], the actual sleep was not good due to both of us being independent and unused to having people in our beds. Other than that she was really into me, body language and everything), she texted me two days after saying she had a think and she wasn’t ready for a relationship and she was really sorry but she couldn’t give me what I wanted. I said I understood, told her I wouldn’t force her into anything and went full no contact. Question is: is it possible that she freaked out over the prospect of a relationship, and, is no contact for a few days (couple of weeks) a good thing to give her time to think about what I said and maybe I can text her after this period showing I’m giving her her freedom (without actually saying the words)?

    Thanks!

    • CoachAdrian

      It’s a good plan, although you were never actually together (never hooked up?) a bit of space and then the friend zone may be your best bet to prove to her that you are actually compatible.
      Best of luck,
      Adrian

  • HopelessRomantic

    I dated this guy for about a month and we broke up a few weeks ago. It was intense from the day we met. We live in the same state but are a few hours away from each other. Since the beginning, we’d text, call and/or face time every day. We commuted back and forth spending 3 weekends together during that time. We were very affectionate and expressive verbally with how we felt about each other. We became very close quickly and were talking about relocating to be nearer. At the end of our relationship he became distant so we had a talk about what we were feeling. He explained how he was feeling about our distance and that he wants to be physically closer to who he’s with and that traveling back and forth would become pricey. He also felt it may be a bit hasty to uproot and move so suddenly for someone he’s know for a short while. I can usually detect a b/s’er and I strongly feel that he wanted a relationship with me but believed it would’ve been difficult emotionally and financially for him. My preference is also to be nearer to the person I am getting to know, but I was a bit more optimistic for the LDR since I don’t meet men I am this compatible with every day.

    We decided ending the relationship was the best choice at the time and I don’t plan on contacting him ever, but I feel like there should be more to our “story”. Is it possible he hit a point where he just needs time to evaluate the relationship since things were moving rather quickly? Can time and space help in my favor in an instance like this?

    • CoachAdrian

      Thanks for reaching out and sharing your story. Absolutely, time and space will definitely work in your favor and you’ve handled this breakup the right way. I know that he must mean a lot to you and that you don’t want to lose him, so the best thing is to give him that space that he thinks he needs. You are coming out of what I refer to as a passionate love at first sight type of relationship, those that start off so strong that they eventually hit a wall. If you are able to stay strong and prove to him that you can be happy without him, he will eventually come crawling back. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you need support along the way, or if you want tips to speed up this process.
      All my best,
      Adrian

  • raskolnikov23

    Dated a girl for about 3 months and we broke up a few days ago. It was definitely passionate from the get go, i.e. lots of hooking up. I definitely put her on a pedestal, as I did most of the date planning, calling and texting. I even took her on a weekend vacation at a resort on the other side of the country. The vacation trip was great and we seemed to have grown a lot closer after it. But, last week she started to become more distant and less interested in going on dates. She just wanted to come over to my house to hook up/talk. During our talks, she questioned our compatibility but at the same time she seemed upset at the prospect of losing me. For the record, this is an indecisive young woman. A few days ago I found out we were technically never together because she said we were not exclusive. She encouraged me to date others while she is away for a month on a family vacation. I told her I couldn’t do it so she left. Any advice?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey,
      Thanks for sharing your story. You lost control of the power struggle too early on by coming off too strong and putting her on a pedestal. I urge you to go no contact while she is away on this family holiday. Go out be social and date other women to test her resolve; post some pictures on social media showcasing that you are happy in a good place and that you don’t need her. She will come running back.
      Don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you feel like you need tailored support along the way.
      Best,
      Adrian

  • Theotherredone

    Little backstory. The girl I was dating had only 1 relationship since she was a teenager that lasted 14+ years, lead to marriage and then he cheated on her so she left and moved. She was single for 2 years and then I came along. We met randomly and just started talking and one thing led to another and I asked her out and we went out and kept talking and she let me know she liked me and I told her that back and we started dating for 2 months. She went on away for a week for a friends wedding and when she came back she was distant so I finally asked her if everything is ok with us and she tells me no. I ask her if she is still coming over for dinner the next night (made plans earlier that week) and she asked if I wanted her to and I said “only if you are coming with an open mind, if you already made up your mind then don’t”. Well she came over and everything seemed to be normal (back and forth banter) but finally we had a “talk” in which she tells me she didn’t miss me the week she was gone and that she finally found herself after 2 years alone and is finally becoming sociable again and doesn’t want a serious relationship. That was a week ago and wanted to know if No Contact has a possibility of making her change her mind or if there is anything that can. I really enjoyed being with her (the relationship after 2 months meant more to me then most of my 1+ year relationships) and I understand her fear because she gave up her 20s and dating to end up with the first guy she meets after a long (and only relationship). Any ideas or insight?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey,
      Sorry for the delayed response, instead of going no contact I think that it may be best to play the friend card to prove to her that you can make her happy and to let feelings grow. Feel free to reach out to me if you need advice on how to implement this strategy the right way.
      Best,
      Adrian

      • Theotherredone

        Thanks for the advice. We are going on about 3 weeks now and I doubt anything will change. Feel like I am far enough into this that doing a 180 and trying to be her friend would be weird. I did post some photos of a trip I took and scenic photos and she liked one of them even tho we haven’t talked so don’t know I’d that could mean something. She means a lot to me but I doubt there is anything I could do at this point to change her mind.

        • CoachAdrian

          We can still turn this around!
          If she means so much to you, don’t give up that easily.
          Best,
          Adrian

  • T

    Different people are different so relationships are different too but some things are same what if the guy had to break up with the girl as the girl got emotionally distant due to oversharing by the former and insecurity by the latter in 2 month old relationship so issues are – ultra short relationship, long distance and acceptance of one partner by the other! So some no contact is needed by the guy to feel cool calm confident not needy and non reactive and then re connect with ex? They have great chemistry and compatibility, similar likings and dislikings, same family background, same class, same status, same profession same home city but different home city. So what are the main issues need to be addressed to reconnect. NC duration of 2 or 4 weeks?Regards T

    • CoachAdrian

      Book a coaching session with me in order for us to discuss all of this…I’m a bit lost with what transpired in your relationship.
      Best,
      Adrian

  • Imisshim

    So I was dating this guy for two months, but we were friends who would flirt with each other long before that. We both knew that I was gonna have to leave the country in a few months seeing as Im not a citizen but we decided to start dating anyways. He called me his girlfriend, told me he missed me when I was away and that he likes me. So after a few weeks of thinking I actually decided that I wanted to stay in the country for a few more months. He got excited at first but then he freaked out a little bit and decided that he wanted to think about our situation. We didn’t speak for a week because I decided to give him space. During this week he asked my friend, when he met her, how I was doing and he also told her that he felt like sh*t. After one week he reached out to me and we decided to get together and talk about everything. What he said really confused me. He said one of the reasons he wanted to break it off is because there is a lot of things going on in his life right now. He told me about everything that was happening with him and his family and he said he was depressed. He didn’t think it would be fair to me or to him to put on a front and pretend. He also told me that he thought it was a good idea to call it quits now because otherwise it would be even harder in the future seeing as I have to leave at some point. I told him that I didn’t know how my future was going to look like and that I wanted to live my life in the moment. I explained to him that I thought it was hard for me that this was the reasons why. Because that meant that I didn’t do anything wrong and it would have been easier if he had lost his feelings or if something went wrong. Then he proceed telling me how has liked me since the third time he met me and that ”if I was just any girl he would have just broken up with me and don’t care”.
    He also asked me if I blocked him on snapchat because he has been trying to look what I was up to during the time we didn’t speak. I didn’t block him but I didn’t post as much during the time we didn’t talk.
    Now I have been in NC with him for 21 days. I see that he checks my snapchat story every time I post something. I don’t check his story or like any of his pictures anymore though. A few days ago I posted a picture on instagram and he liked it. He has never liked one of my pictures on IG before, not even during the time we were a thing. He has also liked a thing I posted on fb yesterday. I don’t know if it is something to get excited about or even if it has some importance.
    Do you think there is any hope for me to get him back? I miss him so much but I am also worried about him since I know he is going through a lot of stuff.

  • CoachAdrian

    Hey,
    Thanks for sharing your story! The fact that he is openly checking your social media accounts and even liking some of your post is a good sign. However I advise you not to be impatient and reach out to him…let him make that first step and you will cease back some control over the balance of power.
    Don’t hesitate to reach out to me and to book a coaching session if you want support to quickly get him back!
    Sincerely,
    Adrian

    • Imisshim

      Hey Adrian! Thank you so much for you advise.
      So yestersday there was an event that I went too and of course he was there. We are hanging out in the same crowd so its kind of hard to avoid him. We ignored eachother for a long time and I could feel that he was getting closer and closer to me. Then I heard someone say my name and i turned around and it was him. He basically just asked me how i was and what was going on and then he went away after less then 5min. I felt like crap afterwords.. Then later that evening I went to a party and he was there again… This time he also went up to me after a while with one of his friend. This time it was more chill. We laughed a little bit. I was joking with him and talked to his friend too. Then the rest of the evening we ignored eachother again.
      Should I see it as positive thing that he went up to me? How should I treat him when I see him?

  • MissHer&WantHerBack

    Hello Adrian,
    I was dating this girl from my college since February 2016. We are from same country but belonged from different states. We study medicine in a another country. The first time i met her is on November, 2015, on a fresher’s party. May sound a bit odd but i started to really feel for her from that day. After that we got to know each other more, became friends and i came very close to her. So close that she did not used to like it when i am not around her. So naturally we fell for each other. From November, i knew she was in a relationship with a guy from her state. So naturally But approximately from the end of december that guy almost seized to talk with her, maybe message once in a week. So as a result of this and both us coming together, i proposed her on January 31st. She accepted my proposal on 3rd February. After that we enjoyed being with each other. Loved each other like crazy. We celebrated Valentine’s day and gave each other gifts. Then my birthday came and after few days her birthday too, we enjoyed heartily. On June 25th, we came back to our country for a period of 2 months for vacation after a years’s break. This is the time when everything started to fall apart. I was very possessive regarding her. She met her ex-boyfriend 2 times during this period when she did not tell me until 10-15 days later (it was the first time she hid something from me). Suddenly her messaged style changed, it started to sound more like as if we are strangers, totally formal. She never talked with me with style like that ever before not even when we were friends. Started to reply my messages very late. Her behavior towards me changed completely. From a girl for whom i meant a world to becoming someone which i felt i don’t even know her. She confessed that she broke up with me and started to be in a relationship with her ex because she loves him. Frankly i am not sure of the reasons that lead to our breakup. She never gave me a reason why she broke up with me. Probable reasons that i can think of are:-

    1) Loss of attraction, probably because i am too possessive i dont know
    2) That guy most probably manipulated her against me
    3) She maybe missed me too much, her emotions, may be, was out of control and he took that as advantage.

    I still love her a lot and miss her so much. She is my life. We both shared ourdreams and goals with one another. I still cant believe that she broke up with me. I cant accept this fact. I am not sleeping well, eating well, depressed after that. I am not ready to give up on her. I am prepared to do anything to get her back in my life. I really need your help, i am helpless. Please help me i want to be with her.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hello!
      Thanks for sharing your story. You are clearly describing this person as if they were your soulmate. I urge you to book a coaching session in order for me to give you the support you need to turn things around.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Claudia

    Hi Adrian,
    I met this guy online, we talked online for a few weeks before meeting up. But I think right off the start I went too strong on him; we were supposed to have a date that he planned with me almost a week in advance but the day before the day no confirmation and I didn’t wanted to run after him to confirm (my fault?) so I didn’t contact him the day of the date and we didn’t meet up, the same day he contacted me said he expected to see me and acted like nothing happened (still in a very good mood and all) then we rescheduled for the next week, time arrives, same thing again, and he contacted me saying he expected to have news from me and I said since he never confirmed I thought it was cancelled, this time I exploded on him saying it was his job and I’m not gonna run after him, I regretted my move tho, because I’ve been very rude but he apologized and since then acted like a gentleman. meanwhile we spoke every single day in between these cancelled dates. He said he was looking for something serious and he’s from Europe and I live in Canada and he was here for 3 years already for his studies but just finished and is pondering staying here or going back to his country. We finally did meet, because he understood my point and this time confirmed in advance and in person he was so nice and kind, generous, polite and very respectful. We continued to text each other everyday and to see each other 2-3 times a week for a month. But I knew the end was close I felt it all the way, he bought his ticket to go back, which is less than 10 days away, he will have his work permit for 3 years but it will take a month to get it and he is hesitating if he comes back in a month and starts a new life here or remain in his country, he doesn’t have his life sorted out regarding his career either and he’s more the lazy type. Very early on we had the exclusive talk and he proposed it himself, but said he couldn’t promise anything for the future since he doesn’t know it himself, so we decided to date and see what happens, I understood. As I got to know him I realized I liked a lot of things but also some things turned me a little off, but I was willing to work with it and understood it was just normal. He told me he wants to sleep with me, but not sexually just sleeping and being close together and I wanted to take my time, and same for him he said, so we did, 2 times, he was very respectful and nothing more happened. Also in the past he often dated broken girls he said, and was used as bandaid by them he feels, they always ended up leaving him and I felt bad because I told him everything in detaiIs about my difficult past relationships, maybe it didn’t help… And I have a very strong character and he is used to more “soft” girls from what I understood, so when I dislike something I really speak my mind and I’m too forward sometimes. And once I said one thing that really turned him off as I clearly saw him ignoring me and I brought it up to him, I shouldn’t have, and he got very defensive, he said he wasn’t ignoring me and from that moment on he got very cold and more distant. I apologized, he said it’s ok no worries. But then 2 days later as we were supposed to see each other he broke up with me after I apologized again for my behaviour, he admitted he made him colder and he started saying he it doesn’t matter because he’s leaving in 10 days anyway, and I asked him why investing that time with me accepted to date me if he knew all the way he will really leave (I was just curious now that I saw he seemed more serious about not staying here than previously) but I think he thought I was confrontational, and he got mad, and returned the question, but after I replied nicely he said he thinks it’s better if we stop it here, there’s no point he leaves anyway and not sure to return, then he said if he would’ve stayed he would’ve done everything to make it work and put all the efforts in, but because of his situation he feels like he’s wasting my time, I told his he didn’t and I like seeing him and I don’t mind uncertainty but he didn’t changed his mind and later said he is a very insecure person (and it’s true, he lacks a lot of self-confidence and dislikes his appearance a lot even tho he’s the hottest guy I’ve seen in a while, he just has issues) and he said he doesn’t feel I’m secure either (I’m not because I had very bad experiences in the past that put me on guard) and he says he doesn’t feel like he can make me happy, thought he could but he can’t, I reassured him he is. then he said I deserve someone better and he said he feels like I just “want a boyfriend” and that I don’t want him specifically (which is totally false, I told him in person and he understood where he was wrong in his assumptions but it came back again when we broke up) he also said the problem was him not me, but I contradicted him because I know I have a strong character. He admitted it was in part because of that time I accused him of ignoring me, I honestly didn’t think it took him so little, but he is very sensitive. He said it’s breaking his heart to have to do this etc. But he said I’m not feeling what I’m supposed to feel” i asked him to be more precise but he said he doesn’t know how to, so I think it means he didn’t develop any feelings towards me. And I told him it’s normal I think since feelings don’t develop so quickly after month or even less, but it didn’t change anything he still wanted to break up. I hate breaking up online, on fb, so I asked if we can still meet up as supposed that day and just finalize it, he refused, and I was so sad because I really liked him despite our differences, he’s been the kindest guy and very attentive towards me, and so respectful. So I lowered myself so much that I’m ashamed, I begged and he said no, and then I started writing too many messages to him, he said we meet the in a few days but I couldn’t wait, started feeling unwell as this situation revived old wounds (being left online, instead of face to face) so I panicked to much I overdid it, now he just ignores me and didn’t even open my messages anymore. I stopped messaging him. Before going that far he asked me to give him time and we would meet before he leaves but I couldn’t wait, because I was too impatient, so now I’m so ashamed and he won’t even talk to me anymore, it’s all my fault and I don’t know now if I will even see him before he leaves. Other than stop messaging him is there something I can do? I don’t understand why he broke it off with me when he was going to leave shortly anyway, he could have waited to leave I was ready for it anyway, and I would’ve behaved myself in person, but online I just tripped because of his refusal to meet me and tell it to my face, never understood why some people are such cowards. I reassured him that I really like him and told him everything I like about him to try to make him feel more secure, wrote him a beautiful message, he read it and didn’t even replied.
    Do you think there’s anything I can do now? I’d really like to get a chance with him, I mean if he comes back after his month long vacation in his country. He said he prefer to end it up now so that it’ll be less hard when he leaves, as he doesn’t want us to be sad, and he is scared to hurt me. I said a million times he will not hurt me and I want him so bad, but he kept going on saying he doesn’t think it’s a good idea.
    Please give me an idea on what to do.
    Thank you so much!

    • CoachAdrian

      Hello Claudia,
      Thanks for sharing your story, I urge you to book a coaching session in order for me to address all of your questions and so that we can work hand in hand to win him back!
      All the very best,
      Adrian

  • Sorriso

    Tough situation.

    Met this guy by chance, fell in love instantly. We have a lot in common, had a lot of fun together, and he even said I might be “the one”. However, he decided he wanted a casual relationship since he has such a busy life, which he defined as something monogamous, but not too serious in terms of emotional or heavy stuff I guess, He also lives an hour away from me. I accepted it, hoping he’d eventually change his mind. I noticed him becoming distant, and after I got a bit too emotional about things, he broke up with me a few days later after just over 2 months of dating. I confronted him again and he said he didn’t want a relationship and just wanted to do his own thing, and that me living an hour away was too inconvenient. Then he said we were still “friends”, but he didn’t really treat me as such. It’s almost like he threw me away. Anyway…

    This is where the weird stuff starts. I went into no contact 2 weeks after breaking up. Then it was his birthday. I didn’t wish him one, but about a week after I sent him s few things I owed him, and a letter talking about us. It wasn’t a love letter, just a “It seems we met at the wrong time in our lives. I don’t know what I’m gonna do with this. But I just know I’m the best girl you’ll ever meet.” I then went back into no contact. I ran into him at an event and as soon as he saw me he called me over to hug me. At one point I accidentally let a “I miss you” slip, but in a friendly way. He said “I mean…i miss you too…but you just kind of vanished.” We kept our emcounter brief and he never contacted me after that. Then 2 weeks after was technically the end of NC. I’ve been struggling reconnecting with him ever since and he barely responds to me.

    So I’m worried I screwed this up. I technically went through about 45 days no contact,not counting the letter or the random encounter. The websites I went on never told me short term relationships had different rules. I feel like he doesn’t care about me at all, even when he claimed to. And he’s just so distant. On the bright side, I haven’t been needy or emotional and haven’t lashed out at him throughout this. But I still feel I lowered my chances with the long NC.

    Any input or advice?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hello Sorriso,
      Thank you for sharing your story. I am currently overwhelmed with coaching requests…hence why it took so long for me to get back to you.
      I urge you to book a coaching session in order for us to work together. It’s the best and only way for me to tell you exactly what you should do, every step of the way.
      Best,
      Adrian

  • Melissa

    Hello there,

    Your advice on the site is really insightful and I was wondering if you could give me some advice about my situation?

    I’ve known this young man for about two years now, we worked at the same on campus facility at school. Since this past January we’ve gotten closer because we worked a lot more together and started spending time outside of work together. First it was just as friends, usually with other friends, because at the time he still had a girlfriend and I was able to emotionally disconnect myself from liking him. However, they were going through a very rough patch (she wanted to have an open relationship with other men because she didn’t find him sexually attractive, and he wasn’t that type of person to go sleep with other women, but allowed her to sleep with other men) that ultimately led to him breaking up with her. I was there during that entire time, trying to support him and give him what unbiased opinion I could as a friend, and try to distract him from being sad and just in general make him laugh and happy. I had started to like him during those couple of months and one time when we were casually hanging out we talked about how we felt about each other because his girlfriend (now ex) had been asking if he would basically have sex with me. He told me, and he said he told her, that he would because he liked me, we got along, had things in common and found me attractive, but wouldn’t because he wasn’t that kind of guy and I deserved a guy who could give me all of their time and attention. I admitted that day that I really liked him too, but agreed that I wasn’t the type of girl who wanted to be the other woman.

    After a couple more weeks, and trying to work it out with the other girl, he broke up with her. I tried to be patient and give him some time to heal over the relationship, because I knew that starting something right after he got out of a relationship, that from all he told me and his best friend hinted at to me, was pretty toxic for him, was probably not a good idea. However, knowing that he liked me, and even admitted that he wanted to say “I love you” to me before his breakup with her, and I liked him, I pushed a discussion of where we stood as friends and any sort of relationship further. He told me his thoughts and that he liked me and all that, but since his ex was still in the picture because she lived with his family, and there were also some rules against dating coworkers at work, he wanted to wait until the end of May when school was done. I had excepted the answer and was going to try to be patient again, but when he dropped me off at home, he kissed me. This was mid to end of March.

    Things seemed to steadily escalate, to more hanging out with cuddling and kissing to a bit further. He was the first one to say “I love you”, always patient, kind and careful with me as the intimacy increased, and he would always say things like “We have many more days…” or “We have all of 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019…” when talking about hanging out and seeing where the relationship would go in the future, at the time I was still trying to be pragmatic about it since he was coming off a break up.

    When school ended (end of May), I had gotten a seasonal job about 45 minutes away from the city where we went to school and he lived, where I am currently living on site. Everything seemed okay for the first few weeks in the summer. I visited him when I could since he was low on cash and had car problems, and where I was staying had restrictions on visitors. It usually went well, but since the ex was still kind of around, it made things a little awkward and stressful for me and most likely very stressful for him. Toward the end of June I started to get a feeling that something was wrong. We still talked a lot through text or phone, but there seemed to be some distance between us. One night he admitted that he felt like he didn’t want to be in the relationship anymore. We called each other over FaceTime and talked about it, both in tears, him more than I, and I ultimately drove out to talk to him in person. We seemed to talk it out, and he apologized and said he wanted to try to work it out. That he loved me and he also thought we could be something wonderful and great together. He also continuously commented on how great I was; how nice, caring, and thoughtful. How amazing I was. How I was the best. How I was the person who brightened up his day more than anyone else. We met up again the next night because I had been spooked by the previous night and wanted talk some more – mainly reassure him I wasn’t anything like his ex, that he didn’t have to give up himself to take care of me like he had her, that I wanted him to be happy and do things beyond being with me like hang out with friends and work on his career since I wanted to work on my career and such too.

    I saw him two more times that next week, with one small incident in between where I had been feeling very lonely at work and I suppose was a little jealous that I didn’t have the same opportunities to hang out with people where I was because my work schedule was weird and I was new and didn’t know anyone well yet, whereas he was hanging out and going places with his friends. I didn’t mind that he was hanging out with people; I was just lonely and sad that I didn’t have anyone to hang out with as well at the moment. After talking that through and apologizing for my less than stellar behavior, I saw him on my day off. Things felt a bit off, but I tried to act normal because that’s what we agreed to – acting like everything was normal. At the end of the week, which consisted of me being paranoid that something was wrong, we had another talk and he broke up with me. He said that I didn’t do anything wrong and that he just didn’t want to be in a relationship with anyone because he was unhappy. But he wasn’t unhappy with me. He continued to say that he loved me and he never meant to hurt me. He just didn’t want to be in a relationship because it stressed him out, possibly because of his previous (and first) relationship where because of his ex having some medical issues, he practically became her caretaker. I was heartbroken but didn’t want to force him to stay with me if it hurt him even if it wasn’t my fault.

    That was at the beginning of July and we agreed to try to stay friends and that is what I’ve been doing so far. I’ve tried my best to not bring up the subject of the relationship and such to him, but it occasionally started to eat at me inside because if I wasn’t the problem, and he didn’t treat me poorly, then why aren’t we together right now? It breaks my heart every time to think I may have just been a rebound or a booty call or something for him, especially when we have quite a few things in common and some really good chemistry, and he does still seem to care about me as a person more than just a normal guy friend would. I had made the mistake of talking to him about it a few times over the past month (mainly July) because I can’t stop thinking of him and missing him and just wanting to be there with him and share our lives more closely with one another – good and bad. He’s told me on one occasion that he just isn’t in that mind frame for relationships right now and is working on himself – which I do understand and approve of. He’s even gone so far to tell me that other girls have flirted with him or asked about him having a girlfriend but he told them no and that he didn’t want one, which I assume was to make me feel better that it wasn’t me exclusively that he didn’t want to be with? After one particular incident of trying to express my feelings of just missing him and missing being close to him – like not even physically, but like being able to care and be there for him, he eventually told me that me bringing it up like I do was starting to create resentment. So, I stopped and haven’t approached the subject in almost 3 weeks, although we still talk.

    We had our first real conversation about just anything – life and random things, this past Sunday (about two weeks after the resentment comment) and it was really nice. I didn’t feel the urge to talk to him about the relationship or starting a new one, even though I still want to. I know I playfully flirted with him, and I think he flirted back (I am awful at telling if people are flirting with me). Then last night while we were texting, I kind of flirted again, or at least made some promiscuous comments, more about myself than him, with no real awkwardness other than how to end that topic of conversation – which could have been taken as hinting at a relationship, but not intentionally. But he didn’t seem mad or bothered by it, although the subject was completely dropped, which was fine. And we still continued to have light hearted conversation the rest of the night.

    Anyways, my problem is, it’s been almost two months since he broke it off with me, and as you can tell, despite my best efforts of trying to give him space while staying friends hasn’t gone exactly as smoothly as I’ve wanted. I am getting better, but I don’t know what to do because it’s clearly still on my mind a lot. I am moving back with a friend to the city (where school and this young man lives) in October and am trying to be chill and stay off the romance subject but stay friends with him until then if I can. My ideal thought is to test the waters either in October or even November (after we’ve hopefully had more and better chances to hang out as friends in October), but I am scared that he’ll be ready for a relationship before then and might find someone else despite knowing my feelings for him and my interest in trying again.

    I would really appreciate any advice or opinions you could give me. He is a really sweet guy, who cared about me a lot and still seems to when we talk and I’m having a bad day or whatever. I just don’t know if I should continue with what I’m doing or try a “radio silence” for the next month until I move back. But reading this article it seems like a radio silence isn’t the answer… You seem to suggest to re-seduce him? Which I might have kind of done last night with my playful comments? Or that was my intent. So, should I keep doing that then, occasionally? Should I really “dress up” when we hang out as friends? I could really use some help because I would really like to start a new relationship with this young man – a fresh, new and beautiful start, because I really believe deep down in my heart that he is good for me and I am good for him and we could be amazing together.

    So please comment back with something to start off with?
    Thank you so much for taking your time to read all of this and help me out. I really appreciate it.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hello Melissa,
      You have simply provided me with too much insights and information and as much as I would love to help and analyze the intricacies of your relationship…I simply don’t have the time because I am on the phone 8 hours per day, 7 days a week coaching people from all over the world on top of writing content for the blog and making videos. The best would be for you to reach out to me in order for us to work together.
      I hope to hear from you soon.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Ty

    We worked together when we met then 6 months later he moved 2 hours away for a better job. We still stayed together I even went on vacation with his family (a first for the both of us). We started arguing a little more as months went by bc I didn’t think we were communicating like we should. He then tells me we should take a break & that he still loves me and thinks we’ll get back together he just needs a while to get his head together. I was devestated I thought that maybe we could work through it but he said it’s best to have no contact for a while & that he wasn’t sure how long he would need. He’s been the best person I’ve ever met but I’ve decided to give him what he wanted & just move on hoping that one day we will. But I’m afraid he’ll have gotton over me by that point and that’ll be really hard to except.

  • CoachAdrian

    Hey Ty,
    You have to give yourself more credit than that.
    I think the issue here is one linked to self confidence.
    Book a coaching session in order for us to work together so that you can quickly win him back!
    Sincerely,
    Adrian

  • Andrew

    Hi how do I book a session with you and Isit over the phone?