As you probably know (or as you’re finding out while reading the articles on this site!) I am a field coach. Thanks to my experience of hundreds of hours of counseling on matters of the heart, my conferences, and my books, I’ve been able to develop different tools and improve concepts that already exists in order to make them adaptable.
My biggest goal is to provide you with the most precise strategies that will increase your chances of getting back together with the person you care so much about. There are many different techniques available to you for convincing your ex to take you back but not everyone is appropriate to your situation. The question of how one should repair their broken relationship is never resolved in the same way.
In truth, each situation is unique and therefore yours has its own characteristics as well, just like I explain in my book, 70 Pro Tips To Get Back With Your Ex. Your relationship had its own characteristics and I’m sure you understand that a couple that was together for 3 months won’t have receive the same advice as a people with a relationship that lasted for 20 years. So it goes without saying that certain elements will determine your strategy on how to get your ex back after a short term relationship; or what I call “passionate love at first sight,” so keep find out what’s the best approach for you!
What is the most important thing to keep in mind when trying to get my ex back?
In my opinion, the most important thing to keep in mind when you want the person you love back might seem simple but as I’m writing these lines, you won’t find any other counselor that makes this distinction… even though it is crucial!
In fact it all depends on the length of your relationship. If you were in a relatively short relationship, then you had passionate love at first sight and subsequently the techniques that you will benefit from are different than those for someone that had been in a long-term relationship.
It’s important to make this distinction so that you can figure out adequate solutions, and this is exactly what I do in my personalized coaching sessions with my coachees. Before I get into what you need to know, it’s imperative that you know whether or not you had experienced a short-term relationship.
What is passionate love at first sight AKA a short term relationship?
To be clear, passionate love at first sight isn’t the same thing as ‘love at first sight,’ which when you feel an intense emotion at the first moment you see each other.
I can’t present you with new methods or to introduce new notions without telling you what they result in. If you’re familiar with my philosophy, if you’ve joined our community on Facebook, if you’ve already seen one of my many Youtube videos, or if you’ve read one of my books, you already know what I mean when I say “passionate love at first sight” and that not everyone experiences this. It’s therefore important to summarize so that you have all the keys to succeed in your attempt at getting back together with the person you care so much about!
As you’ve understood, in terms of getting back together, I distinguish between short-term relationships and long-term relationships, but you can have strong feelings in either one. Generally speaking, short term relationships tend to be a little bit different because usually only one of the two partners has fallen deeply in love. The other person tends to be in the phase between attachment and love. This is often what ends the relationship.
Passionate love at first sight isn’t an easy idea to grasp. It’s typically a relationship that has lasted under a year. I will explain to you why it’s so important to distinguish between the two lengths of relationships.
To be precise, it’s generally a relationship that hasn’t lasted more than 14 or 15 months. If this is your case, you’re still in the seduction phase, and you’re still discovering one another, and your attempt at getting back together will need a different approach. Using different, more appropriate techniques that correspond to what your relationship needs will have a much bigger impact.
So at this point, I bet you’re asking yourself something…
Why would a relationship that hasn’t lasted over a year be any different from other relationships?
As I was explaining above, relationships that lasted under a year, require different techniques because they haven’t yet had the time for habits to form. If you had been with your significant other for 6 months, you don’t know them as well as someone would know their partner after 15 years of marriage. The relationship wasn’t the same, and your approach to it isn’t the same either. This doesn’t mean that one is ‘better’ than the other; it just means that they’re not identical because you were still learning one another. It’s therefore normal that when your relationship experiences a crisis or worse still, a breakup, the solutions wouldn’t the same, don’t you think?
It’s not possible to fully know someone after a few weeks, especially if your partner was a stranger before you were in a relationship. The learning phase isn’t that simple and it can sometimes create a disconnect between the two partners and can result in a breakup. You have to be patient before you can be truly synchronized; before you can figure out your relationship’s rhythm, and this is something that a lot of people don’t realize.
On top of that, you’re not going to make huge decisions after just a few months. People rarely decide to have a baby with the person you’ve been with under a year, or to invest in a house together.
Whether you’re in your 30s, whether you’re a teenager, or a bit older you need time before you can fully invest in a relationship, to fully trust, and learn how to live with the person you want to build a future with. If there is one golden rule to respect in love, it’s to never rush things, to avoid going too fast as a result of being blinded by your feelings for your partner. It’s important to on the same page in terms of the rhythm to adopt with your partner because this is the most common cause of a breakup in a short-term relationship. In reality, it’s when one person wants to go faster than the other that things tend to go sideways, so it’s something to avoid. Keep this in mind because balance is essential as you begin to plan your attempt at getting back together.
Passionate love at first sight, as you can tell from its name, is something instantaneous that doesn’t last forever. You will therefore have to take things into your own hands so that it can endure.
How to get your ex back after a short term relationship
Experiencing passionate love at first sight doesn’t mean that you can’t use techniques for getting back together, but there are ones that are better adapted to your situation than the “classic” ones.
A lot of coaches will tell you that using radio silence or waiting for your ex to return are miracle solutions and that your ex will come back in no time. In truth, your relationship wasn’t long enough for you refuse contact and to put more distance between you than there is already simply because your absence won’t be felt as easily. Think about it, how deeply can you miss someone that you’ve known for 3 weeks for example?!
A rule after short relationships is to NOT use RS but to work on rekindling the flame by re-seducing your ex. You’ll have to revive your ex’s feelings for you as quickly as possible and in order to do so you have to understand what your ex wants. At some point there was an opening and you’ll be able to start things over by using seduction.
To be more ‘direct’ with your ex you have to place seduction at the heart of your attempt at getting back together. This is the element you’ll have to play up. You’re in fact going to have to focus more on seduction than on your endeavor. You have this possibility because your relationship was still relatively “young!” Your physique is something you can work on, your self-confidence and your body language will help to rekindle the flame. As you’ve understood, in passionate love at first sight, you have to play up attraction more than the emotional aspect.
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