Money matters within a relationship is a vast subject! It’s one of the things that probably cause the most fights in a couple. Whether you’re a young couple or you’ve been married for many years, money can be the source of serious conflict and a wide array of problems in a relationship. In today’s day and age, it’s true that finances play a big role in our lives, and even more so when money is tight.
Our world’s economic situation isn’t all that great and you’re worried that it’s going to have an effect on your relationship. You’re looking for the best solutions for living comfortably… The eternal question of whether or not you should be stingy arises. How to handle finances in a relationship?!
Which one of you should be in charge of money? Are you allowed to treat yourself to something nice without telling your significant other? In this brand new article written by your relationship coach, you’ll find guidelines that will provide you with answers to your questions.
Money can have a negative effect on your relationship, so it’s important to understand and control the role it plays in your relationship.
Why is handling finances in a relationship important?
Maybe you’re not a millionaire quite yet, so you can’t spend money without thinking twice. When you were single you didn’t have these responsibilities; you could buy whatever you wanted (as long as it was within your budget) without having to think about anyone else, but those days are over.
You’re no longer alone and your personal finances have become you and your partner’s finances, so you have to think before you spend.
You wouldn’t go out and buy a car without talking about it with your wife, and you wouldn’t go spend a weekend in a spa resort without letting your husband know, right? The decisions you make, especially when they involve large sums of money need to be discussed. On top of that, your mutual finances are usually meant to feed your family.
If you have kids, they should be one of your main priorities. If you’re having trouble making ends meet, maybe it’s not such a good idea to go out and buy the latest laptop that costs way over your budget… I’m not trying to preach or to teach anyone any lessons.
This is just something that I’ve come across in my coaching sessions and upon talking with both partners, I’ve understood what made one of the two feel the need to spend their entire paycheck. It is something that often stems from one’s childhood.
It’s important to be aware of the fact that taking care of finances in a relationship not only helps you to improve your life as well as that of your family; it helps you to prepare for the future and to be covered if you face any problems along the way.
How to handle finances in a relationship : by figuring out who should be in charge?
First and foremost, I’d like you to forget any macho clichés that state that the men should be in charge of money. Thankfully the days when women didn’t even have the right to sign checks are long gone. Moreover, the person who makes the most money in the couple doesn’t necessarily have to be the one that handles the finances in the relationship.
If you earn a little bit more than your partner but you spend vast amounts, it’s safe to say that you shouldn’t be the one in charge of the bank accounts.
In order to avoid disagreements, the safest bet is for the more responsible of the two to handle these matters. If the person that spends the least amount (or at least spends appropriately) is in charge, your finances are most likely to remain under control and you can avoid some of the most common money-related issues.
Nevertheless, this shouldn’t ever prevent you from making big decisions together or from putting your heads together when a large sum of money is going to have to go out.
Communication is absolutely essential when it comes to a couple’s money.
Are you allowed to spend money without checking with your partner?
This is where you have to distinguish between personal finances and shared finances. Your partner cannot expect you to spend the money you had earned before, on your own, in any specific way. That said, the money you have earned while you’ve been together is a different story. I’m not the one making up the rules here; it’s the law!
As I had mentioned, I’m assuming you’re not rolling in money and you might encounter money-related issues. It therefore wouldn’t be right to spend wild amounts of money…
You have a family, rent, and probably loans as well, so the money you share shouldn’t be affected by your personal purchases. If you buy a huge, 3D flat screen TV just because the neighbor did too, you could deprive your family of much more important things. Decisions like these should be well thought out and planned in advance.
That said, wouldn’t life become a little dull if you didn’t treat yourself to something nice from time to time? If you’re both on the same page and you agree on spending a certain amount of money on a car, a trip or a gift, then you can of course discuss it and treat yourselves sometimes.
If you don’t want to wait for the holidays to give yourself a nice gift, make sure your significant other is ok with it too. You should never spend big sums of money behind their back because it could end very badly!
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