People break up for a variety of reasons, and being taken for granted is one of them. People often get comfortable when they’re dating and they stop feeling like they need to make an effort to make their significant other feel special. Perhaps this is exactly what happened between you and your ex boyfriend… When the breakup happened, his behavior only worsened and you were left wondering how to make him commit…
I am here to tell you that there is one specific thing that is the determining factor in whether or not a man is going to commit to you. This is going to hold true whether you’ve got a crush on a guy, you’re dating the guy, or if you’ve already broken up with him!
This article is going to explain this specific element and what you can do to make your man commit to you!
Why is it so hard to make him commit?
I am often asked this question by clients who are involved with someone that always seems like he’s slipping through their fingers. Let’s take Alyssa’s story for example.
She was dating her ex for about a year before he decided to pull the plug. They had met through a mutual friend and things were off to a pretty intense start. They couldn’t get enough of each other at first, but as things became more serious she felt that he was beginning to drift away.
When this happened, she decided to work on pinpointing what he needed and how the relationship could be better for him. She kept going out of her way to make him happy and to do thoughtful things for him. She tried to send him messages that let him know how much she cares, and she really tried to be best girlfriend to him that she could be.
When he broke up with her, his reason was that he needed to be on his own. He wanted to be independent and just be single. She could not wrap her head around it. They had been so happy and she had given him everything… Why did he want to be alone now?
Unfortunately, this is a very common phenomenon and many people struggle with understanding what’s happening. What’s even more frustrating is the fact that they just can’t seem to figure out how to make him commit!
So why is it so hard?
The problem that we face today is that we live in a consumerist society where it’s so easy for us to get whatever we want, whenever we want. Unfortunately, many people have started to view relationships as disposable things that can be replaced whenever we feel like it. I’ve seen this happen time and time again. A person just throws a wonderful relationship that is full of potential away and then ends up bitterly regretting it later on down the line.
So, what you’re wondering is this: How can I make my ex regret breaking up with me and how do I make him want to finally commit to this relationship?
You’ve come to the right place my friend because that’s exactly what I’m going to explain to you right here.
How to make him commit after the break up has already happened
I should specify that what I’m about to explain to you will work for you if you’re still in a relationship with this person as well.
Let’s cut right to the chase.
A man will truly want you back and want to build something serious when he fears losing you for good.
This means that he’s not going to want to commit if it’s easy for him to take you for granted.
Let’s look at Alyssa’s situation again. She was going out of her way all the time to make her ex the priority. Anything he wanted, he got – simply because she was trying to convince him that she’s worth the commitment. The problem was that this is not the correct way to convince a person that you’re worth it. This is looks more like clinginess or emotional dependency to a guy. It makes it seem as though he’s the only interesting thing going on in your life and that gets boring after a while.
Another very important thing that I’d like you to keep in mind is the fact that on some level, men enjoy and want the chase. If you’re handing everything to him on a silver platter, he’s going to get bored and will prefer being single so that he can find something more interesting. I’m sorry to put it so bluntly, but I want to make the situation very clear.
He’s going to want to commit if he has had to work to get you. You’ll make him want to commit if he sees you as a prize that he’s had to win. So how do you do this?
How to make a man want to commit: The 2 steps
When you want to know how to make him commit, you’re going to have to do two things.
1. The no contact rule (if you’ve already broken up)
2. Make him understand that you have other options
If you are unfamiliar with the no contact rule, it simply consists of cutting contact with your ex for a predetermined period of time. If you’d like more in depth information on the subject, I encourage you to click the link.
During this period of zero contact with your ex, you are to work on understanding the breakup, coming up with long term solutions for the future, and becoming the best version of yourself. Now, becoming the best version of yourself is going to directly impact #2, “Making him understand that you have other options.”
You’ll be out, meeting new friends and possibly potential partners, you’ll be broadening your horizons and reminding yourself of everything you bring to the table. By boosting your self confidence, not being at his beck and call, and by becoming the absolute best version of yourself, he’s going to begin to think that he may have made a mistake in letting you go.
After all, if you can remember how you were at the beginning of the relationship when you attracted him to you in the first place, and if you can become a new and improved version of this person, he’s going to pay attention.
You didn’t cling to him at the beginning of the relationship. You had your own things going on and you were still independent. Bring that back and share images of the amazing life you’re allowing yourself to live on social media. Trust me, it’s going to catch his eye. Even if you aren’t friends on social media anymore, word will travel and he’ll find out that you’re living a life that he’s going to want to be a part of.
As always, if you have any questions at all, please don’t hesitate to leave them in the comments section below or click here to get in touch with me directly.
Wishing you all the best,
Your coach for knowing how to make him commit to you