Many people have come to understand that suffocating an ex is not going to make him or her want to come back. From an objective point of view, this seems quite logical, but when you’re in the thick of it and you’re terrified that you’re going to lose your ex forever, it’s not so black and white.
I was coaching someone recently who said, “I’m realizing that all I want to do is talk to him and make sure he knows how much I still believe in our relationship. I don’t want him to move on with someone else. I just want to be close to him and remind him of everything we had… But I’ve been hearing that I need to distance myself. It freaks me out so much. If I give him space will he come back for sure?”
If you’re reading this article, chances are that you’re thinking the same thing. Backing off and not being in contact with your ex is definitely a leap of faith, but the rewards can be monumental. It all depends on one very important thing, and I will explain what that is throughout today’s article!
Should you give him space or use the No Contact Rule?
It’s important to note that there is a difference between giving a guy space and going into full on no contact.
If you’re unfamiliar with this technique, it simply consists of cutting contact with your ex for a period of three weeks to three months. The length of time needed depends on the severity of the breakup, and I can always help you determine the best plan of action if you need guidance.
There are two goals behind this technique:
1. Make your ex miss you and fear losing you
2. Use the time to focus solely on yourself and become the best version of yourself.
If you take one thing from this article, let it be this: The first element depends directly on the second. You will have much greater chances of making your ex miss you and fear losing you if you use this time wisely.
Perhaps full on no contact might not be necessary, but not going reaching out to your ex is very helpful. Simply giving him space after a breakup can also drastically improve things.
If you’re always the first to reach out and it’s not getting you anywhere, I encourage you to begin giving a man space to miss you. If you’re always at his beck and call, or if you’re constantly present, how is he ever going to get the opportunity to miss you?
If I give him space will he come back? Here is how you improve your odds of success!
Whether you cut contact completely or just give him space, you are going to have to use this time to begin working on one specific thing: yourself.
As I said above, your self confidence and your ability to live your best life is going to be the key factor in the success of whichever technique you’re using!
Think about it this way:
Which version of you would your ex find more appealing?
A. The one who is begging for his attention, blowing up his phone night and day, constantly trying to get him to hang out, displaying needy or clingy behavior, always seeking reassurance from him, and clearly has a life that revolves solely around him?
B. The one who is taking care of herself, living a life that makes you want to be a part of it, confident in her appearance and in what she brings to the table, has a schedule that is full of activities that bring her joy, and doesn’t need to beg you to want to hang out with her.
Making your ex feel pressured to give you attention is actually pretty much the worst thing you could be doing right now. The key to success is inspiring him to want to go out of his way to talk to you. You want to spark his curiosity and make him want to get closer to you.
You should not be chasing him; he should have reason to want to chase you.
Sitting around on your couch doing nothing and feeling sorry for yourself while you’re giving him space is not going to help you. So, what exactly should you start doing in order to make him want to get closer while you’re giving him space?
Giving a man space and making him want you back
I know you’re probably wondering what makes a man miss a woman and what concrete things you need to be doing while giving him space…
When two people are in a relationship, it’s not uncommon for a routine to develop and for a person to lose themselves in the relationship. What I mean by this is simply that the relationship begins to take priority over all else, and balance is lost. So I want you to think about what elements of your personal life got put on the back burner as the relationship developed?
What hobbies and passions did you begin to neglect? Did you begin to spend less time with your friends and family? How about your physical health? Did you become more lax about getting exercise and eating right?
Well, first of all and as I said above, I want you to let him miss you. Stop reaching out and switch your focus to yourself.
Now that we are making you the priority, I want you to bring back all the things that used to bring you joy. Anything that you neglected, bring it back! Switch up your workout routine and try out new things like rock climbing, yoga, or surfing. Get your best friends involved and motivate one another. Update your wardrobe or your look. I want you to really start focusing on becoming the best version of yourself.
Next up, I want you to begin bringing all kinds of new elements into your life. For example, sign up for some new classes – think about learning a new skill or language, or even sign up for Argentine tango classes! Spend more time in nature – go on hikes, read books on the beach. Just get outside and switch up your environment. Check out new bars and restaurants with your friends. Get involved with work functions and network more. Think about pursuing your personal and professional goals.
Giving a guy space is actually really easy if you get yourself busy with things that benefit you.
Use social media to your advantage and post pictures of yourself loving life. Give yourself reason to have a beautiful, genuine smile on your face and trust me, your ex will notice.
He’ll be thinking, “Wow, there’s the girl I remember falling in love with, and she seems even more radiant than before. Did I make a mistake in letting her go…?”
Does giving a man space really work in the end?
Yes, yes it does.
But you need to use this time wisely. Again, if you just give him space or cut contact completely, yes, he will notice, but it might not be enough to actually make him miss you. This is especially true if you two have gone through a nasty breakup.
If you want to make him miss you, you have to give him a solid reason to miss you! All of this is under your control and you’re the only one who can make this happen.
What’s more, if you don’t give him space after a breakup, it becomes easier for him to take you for granted. This is the last thing we want!
As this article comes to a close, I’ll leave you with this.
Your ex will want you back the moment he fears losing you for good.
It’s up to you to make him realize that his life would be better with you in it. You’re going to inspire him to want to be a part of yours.
If you have any questions at all, don’t hesitate to leave them in the comments section below and it would be our pleasure to respond to you!
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach for giving a guy space to get him back