For those of you that aren’t familiar with this tool, it basically consists of cutting contact with your ex to make them begin to miss you, or to provoke certain feelings that make them start to think about being with you again.
Yes, you read that correctly! One of the most efficient techniques is ignoring an ex boyfriend. Surprising, huh? It really isn’t, actually. In reality by acting this way, you’re making your ex take responsibility for their actions.
So, while you’re not in contact with your ex, it’s important to be careful with what you’re doing and there are certain rules to follow if you want to see results. That said, it should also be noted that in certain situations it’s actually better not to bank on this process…
Each technique for getting your ex boyfriend back has limits and you have to recognize proper behavior and the actions that will help you to reach your goal. But don’t worry, I’ll explain all of this in this article.
Ignoring my ex boyfriend makes him take responsibility for his actions
Making a radical decision is never pleasant. Not only is it going to have consequences for the person making the decision as well as for both people in the relationship, but you can never really know for sure what the outcome is going to be and if you’re making the right choice.
Put yourself in your ex boyfriend’s shoes for a second (and if you’ve already broken up with someone then you’ll have an easier time understanding what I’m trying to say!) They are currently asking themselves, “Did I make the right choice and will I find someone better than my ex?”
Nobody knows what the future will bring and this is why your ex, even though they were the one who decided to leave, will be doubtful of their choice for weeks to come.
So yes, of course this happened because something wasn’t working between you, and now you’re going to have to make an effort to fix these things. Even if you’re not perfect, you have some special qualities and characteristics that your ex must appreciate. Under these circumstances, hold on to these assets and work on what needs improvement.
Are you wondering why?
Simply because as soon as your ex sees that you’re evolving, the doubts that they have been having will start to become rooted in their mind. On top of that, your sudden absence will most likely weigh down on them. When you’re used to a certain thing with someone, it’s not always easy to accept big changes.
When you’re breathing down your ex boyrfriend’s neck, it’s a lot harder to show them that you’ve changed and certain habits persist. By making a clean break you’ll get a reaction and you’ll make your ex take responsibility for their mistakes. Now they’ll see what they chose to miss out on…
I bet you’re wondering how your ex is going to react to the changes you make if you’re not in contact. Well, there are multiple explanations, but I’ll summarize.
1. Just because you two aren’t in contact it doesn’t mean that the people in your group of friends aren’t going to talk about your new attitude to your ex boyfriend.
2. Have you ever heard of social media? It’s a powerful weapon that will help you show your ex that you are living life to the fullest…
3. You don’t have to run into each other more than two or three times for your ex to notice that you’re not quite the same… They pick up on these things really fast.
4. But most of all, there are multiple ways for you to ignore your ex, from the strong>most radical, Radio Silence, to just putting some space between you!
Ignoring an ex boyfriend is great but you can go even further…
Let’s touch on the difference between Radio Silence and putting some space between you. By the way, we analyze these techniques in this eBook that you can access here.
But to summarize, Radio Silence is cutting all contact during a pretty long period of time, and putting distance between you consists of going between cutting contact (and therefore ignoring,) and periods during which you communicate briefly.
Based on your personal situation, one of these techniques will get you great techniques and sometimes the other won’t really work that well. If you’d like to know which of the two is right for you, I invite you to make an appointment for a personal coaching session and you can do so right here.
It’s important to understand that even if ignoring an ex boyfriend presents some pretty great advantages, it’s not going to be quite enough. You will have to take it a bit further and focus on serious personal reconstruction. You’ve got to think of yourself and do what it takes to move forward without putting all of your energy into your ex.
This would be your biggest mistake…
You could even try to spark a little jealousy, and I don’t mean in the way you see in the movies… Do it subtly, and do something like putting a photo on social media or a post from time to time. Now that your ex is no longer in contact with you, something like this would really grab their attention.
Please note that this is to be used with caution because if it’s not done right it could turn against you.
Ignoring an ex boyfriend to get him back isn’t always the best idea
Like with anything, there are advantages and disadvantages. In terms of ignoring your ex, it isn’t always a surefire way to get what you want. In fact, in certain situations it’s actually something to avoid doing.
In truth, it’s not about the technique itself, because 90% of the time it really works. Sometimes you run into a roadblock that is linked with your attitude and the way your ex could perceive it.
Let me explain.
For example if your ex ended your relationship because you weren’t present enough, or if they felt like you were always ignoring them and you didn’t spend enough time together, then strict Radio Silence isn’t the way to go. In truth maybe they broke up with you over this to get a reaction out of you.
Even if I don’t like the idea of ultimatums in relationships, your ex might feel differently about it and not realize the consequences. So there are specific cases in which completely ignoring your ex is something that you should avoid doing after the breakup.
This doesn’t mean that you should chase after them but you just have to stay in touch for a while to see if they are open to you or not. In this type of situation it’s best to switch between putting distance between you and controlled indifference. I explain this process at great length in this free guide.
Your coach when deciding if ignoring an ex boyfriend to get him back is the right approach for you.
Sincerely,
Adrian
11 Responses
I was with my ex in a ldr for 2 years. We spoke every day on Skype and whatsapp, so when we broke up I knew how hard it was going to be not to have that closeness with him. He wanted to remain friends, and we were for a few days. Our conversations were great, but when I found out he had already moved on to another girl (who is also long distance) I immediately started no contact and I deleted whatsapp in the heat of the moment. But a week ago I got in contact with him again and things just aren’t the same. I’m not sure if I messed things up by doing NC, I’m worried he tried to talk to me after I deleted the app and he feels angry with me for not replying. One minute he’ll be positive and the next he doesn’t seem to want to talk. Idk if I should just apply NC again and see if he misses me or not? I’m so stuck
Hi Leah,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry t hear about your current situation. It seems to me like deleting the WhatsApp could have been what got him. That or the way in which you tried to kickstart conversation. Either way, though, I do feel like if you do this correctly, you can turn it around. I invite you to book a session with me. I can show you tips that will help.
Best,
Coach N
My boyfriend and I broke up two weeks ago. We only broke up because he was switching schools, and his dad was really strict about girlfriends, so we wouldn’t be able to see each other. We wanted to stay together, but we both agreed that it wouldn’t work out. Currently I am on Vacation in Europe, and so seeing him is not a problem. But we talked almost everyday, and so its been really hard not to text him about my day. I did break the no contact rule to text him twice. Once to tell him something important , and the other time to talk about a book he had told me to read,(we kind of bonded over that). Both times he didn’t respond. He used to always respond extremely quick. I mean I’m sending him normal stuff, nothing that has to do with our past relationship! I don’t know what to do to get him to talk to me. Should I attempt to do the no contact, or will that not work because I texted him before.
Please Help
My partner and I have been together for 8 years. We met in Thailand and fell in love. At the time we were both married. I was living in Singapore with my husband and he was living in Germany with his wife. We both divorced our spouses to be together and built up a small business in Thailand which we did for the past 7 years. We had no issues in our relationship and have loved each other dearly. I would like to mention that we both have birthday on the same day. I am 54 and he is 55.
We decided to sell our business in Thailand and relocate back to Europe and possibly open a small business in Spain.We wanted a change and wanted to be closer to family.
My partner went to Germany for some work, and I went to Spain to look for business opertunities. He did visit me frequently and otherwise we were on Skype and obviously phone calls. Text messaging, all day and every day. The long distance apart went on for 9 months. In April this year he came over personally and told me he had met someone else and wants to break off our relationship. I was devastated to be dumped from one day to the other and left alone in a foreign country to sort out everything.
The women he met is 51 years old and has a 12 year old son. They are not living together. My partner knows how hurt I am regarding the break up. He knows how much I want to come and live with him. We text and talk a lot but obviously not everyday anymore.
I found out last week that his new girlfriend has been diagnosed with cancer in the uterus.
I guess this makes matters worse.
I have no idea how to get my man back. I am still in Spain and have no family to return to elsewhere. I was relying on my partner and never thought he would dump me in a situation like this. Very difficult situation I am in. Any advise would be appreciated x
Hi Susan,
Thank you for reaching out and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I’m not like most coaches, and don’t want to offer advice when I don’t know the complete story. I know from experience that you need a tailored approach. I can help you develop one. To this end, I invite you to schedule a coaching session with Adrian or myself – we’re here to help.
Please visit this link: http://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching
I’m looking forward to connecting,
Coach N
My x broke up with me 2 years ago we have a small child so its been very difficult for me i block him regularly because he throws girls in my face every few months . he is with a new girl every couple months and he finds the need to let me know ! He even called.me from a girls phone. So i blocked him for 3 months. I kinda unblock him because i didnt want him to not see our 2 yr old. Well now we talked for 6 hours! I met his dad and he acted like he was gonna change seems like he missed me alot. Well now he calls me out the blu and tells me he is getting married smh. Funny part a whole another girl he has never been with .. I laughed at him about it. He asked if my son can come smh. He just want a reaction out of me i dont get it when he broke up with me. So he is now blocked again. Not just becausee of that he was suppose to send me child support money and he didnt he just lied btw we live in differant states
My partner and I were in relationships for 2 plus years. Then he drifted away and we broke up. It wasn’t that bad. I left him completely. After 4 months I wished him happy hallowe’en to which he was very polite. Post 1 month he unblocked me from everywhere. I tried to initiate a talk to which he just responded and does not initiate anything on his own. I don’t understand what to do? Should I leave him? Is he just being friends?
Hi Cheery,
Thanks for reaching out – I don’t feel like he just wants to be friends, but he does want to see whether or not you’re still available to him. Play your cards right! It’s critical! If you need help, I’d love to coach you.
Best,
Natalie
My ex left me because he wanted me to change some things about me. But I can’t live without him and I want him to know that these little things aren’t there to determine if I’m good enough for him in the future to live with. I wanted him back and kept running behind him like a dog begging for his attention for a month. Then he said some mean things and I begged him for a last time and he said to just leave. Since I haven’t talked to him, and just disappeard from the surface it’s been a week, but he’s texting me and asking me where I am and how I’m doing. I don’t know if I still should ignore him for a month, for him to really realize how much he needs me or finally respond so he doesn’t get anymore worried.
Ladies i need Help as i am really loosing It,,,,i am married with my husband for 5 uears and few days ago he said he changed religion and got married to Other woman.he still loves Me and wanta to seperate his time between Me and her , i love him but i feel cheated as he is with that woman from almost 2 years
Hello Rob,
I encourage you to contact me for a private coaching session so w can speak about the dynamics of the relationship and help you with this relationship. https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
Best,
WMEA Team