After a breakup takes place, it is normal for there to be tensions between you and your ex. You are both nursing a broken heart, and every single person has their own way of working through the pain. If the break up was a particularly painful one, it might come as no surprise that your ex needs some space from you… but what if you were expecting the dynamic between you to be different after the break up? What if you’re surprised that your ex isn’t talking to you anymore? Is there anything you can even do about it?
I wanted to write today’s article on the reasons your ex won’t talk to you, and then I want to talk about how you can change this type of situation. It’s a common issue that I come across in my one-on-one coaching sessions and in the questions that people leave below our videos and articles. Rest assured that you are not alone and that there are many solutions available to you. So let’s take a look at what those are, shall we?
Why won’t my ex speak to me?
There are a variety of emotions at play after a breakup. If a person is very sad and heartbroken about the way things are, they might avoid you because it’s too painful to talk to you. Similarly, if a person is angry or frustrated about the state of affairs following a breakup (or even how or why the break up took place), they might want to avoid you out of pride or resentment.
Another common reason your ex won’t talk to you is the fact that they are having trouble processing the break up and their emotions. Many people have a tendency to isolate themselves when they are not feeling good, and they will push the people closest to them away.
Whatever the reason may be for your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, the important thing right now is going to be changing your approach. If you’re trying to figure out why he or she won’t talk to you and you keep trying to get in touch to make them want you again, you’re only going to make things worse.
If an ex partner is pushing you away or avoiding you, it means that they need space. You might not want to give them the space because it’s scary and you’re worried about losing them for good, but one of the best things you can do to get an ex back is to take a step back so that you can make a stronger comeback.
If you’ve been continuously trying to reach out to your ex and get no response from them, you’ve got to stop now.
I know that it is a very human response to keep trying to get a reaction from someone you care about who isn’t talking to you, but the more pressured and suffocated you make your ex boyfriend or girlfriend feel, the more inclined they will be to try to get away from you. If you want to see changes, it’s time to change your approach. If not, you will only make things worse
It is crucial that you respect their need for space, and in doing so you will also be respecting yourself. Don’t allow yourself to be someone who places their ex on a pedestal and begs and pleads to be taken back.
I know your head is swimming with thoughts like “Why does my ex hate me,” and “My ex doesn’t want me anymore, what do I do,” but the more you focus on negative thoughts and emotions, the more you are going to be stuck in one place. That is why we need to start focusing on concrete actions…
Understanding the reasons your ex won’t talk to you: changing your approach to see results
As I was saying above, the most important thing to do right now is to stop trying to get your ex to talk to you. We want to make sure that your ex doesn’t feel any type of pressure coming from you.
When it comes to making someone want you back, it’s all about getting them to see you in a new light. This doesn’t happens through texts and phone calls, it happens by changing your own life. If you can start living a life that looks inviting, fulfilling, and inspiring, you will start to catch your ex’s eye.
As of now, your ex is also used to having you go out of your way to try to be in touch with them. So now we have to introduce an element of surprise. By taking your focus off of your ex and putting it on your personal life, you can start to make some sizable changes.
But first, let’s take a look at one of the most powerful tools for making someone want to talk to you again:
The NC Rule when an ex is not talking to you
If you are familiar with our philosophy then you have heard of the no contact rule. For those of you that haven’t, it consists of cutting all forms of communication with your ex-partner so that you can give them an electroshock.
Because they are used to having access to you whenever they feel like it, they will be caught completely off guard when they realize that you are suddenly unavailable to them. It’s dangerously easy to take someone for granted who is always around. Chances are that your ex has gotten comfortable up on his or her pedestal, so they don’t feel like they really need to make an effort to keep you around.
The NC Rule it is to be implemented for predetermined period of time, ranging from three weeks to three months. While you cut communication with your ex, it is crucial that you use this time to start making improvements in your life.
The goal is to become the new and improved version of yourself. By becoming busy in your own life, it also becomes much easier to ward off thoughts like, “He hasn’t texted me in 3 days, should I text him,” or, “Maybe this time she will respond to me. I just need to figure out the right thing to say!”
The busier you are, the easier it is to fight the temptation of reaching out to your ex.
Take this time to start thinking about what elements in your own life were neglected when you were in the relationship, and what elements could benefit from improvements. Carve out time for physical activity and make sure you do things that make you feel attractive. You could go out and get some new clothes or even go for a full on makeover, and make sure you spend ample time with friends and family members that make you happy.
Share your improvements when you want an ex to talk to you
Now is the perfect time to start filling up your schedule with new activities that you can do on your own or with your friends. Think about what new bars, restaurants, galleries, and venues you can check out with your friends, and start picking up old or new hobbies.
Becoming physically active is not only great for your self-confidence; it’s also great for your mood and mindset. The more positive you are, the less you will be thinking about “How to make my ex talk to me” and the more you will be piquing your ex’s interest.
So don’t hesitate to post pictures of all the fun and interesting things you’ve been doing on social media. You can even get some new head shots taken and freshen up all your photos. At the end of the day, we want your ex to look at you and recognize that you are becoming the new and improved version of the person that he or she fell in love with at the beginning of your relationship. This is what will make you irresistible.
When your ex starts trying to get in contact with you and realizes that you are not giving them the time of day, you will become an exciting challenge – which is exactly how you can re-attract an ex.
Please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me or member of my team for a one-on-one guidance throughout this challenging process. Each situation is entirely unique, so you can leave any questions you might have in the comments section below and we would be happy to get back to you.
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you are looking for the reasons your ex won’t talk to you
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