Following a breakup, a number of scenarios are likely to happen between you and your ex. It’s possible that the two of you will maintain good relations and continue to talk. You may even continue to see each other. On the contrary there may be tense feelings or it may even be full-blown war.
Not every breakup ends like they do in Hollywood movies where the two main characters get along and might even get back together at the end of the film.
Unfortunately, your situation is more complicated. You’d think that after the breakup, things would calm down and that you’d be able to establish a calmer relationship, even if this wasn’t the case while you were together.
But you’ve got a problem concerning the person you were sharing your life with. “We’ve broken up and my ex doesn’t want to see me anymore. What do I do”, “my ex refuses to see me”, “my ex is very distant”, and “my ex doesn’t want to spend time with me” are phrases I’ve heard this hundreds of times, and it’s never without reason. But how can you explain it? Just a few days or weeks ago you were still together and today, you can’t even meet for coffee!
You could say “I give up,” delete their number and move on, but if you’re reading this right now you’re probably looking for a different kind of solution. You want to know if there’s still hope. Rest assured, there is! In order to reestablish communication, you have to figure out what the problem is so that you can provide the solutions.
In this article, we will focus on trying to explain why your ex has no intention of seeing or spending time with you altogether. We seek to provide you with concrete answers on why they feel the need to totally cut off contact, and why they feel that they have nothing more to say to you.
By the time you are done with this article you will have more insight on what’s stopping your ex from seeing you. In turn this should enable you to start to reflect on how you can change their mind and being the process of getting back together.
My ex doesn’t want to hang out: 3 reasons why!
When an ex decides to no longer be in contact with you, there can be multiple explanations based on your specific relationship. Thanks to my experience as a relationship expert, I’ve been able to help so many people… and I can tell you the three main reasons why your ex-partner would refuse to see you, and limit your communication to one or two text messages when they deem you worthy.
The three explanations as to why an ex may be avoiding you that you find below can seem too simple to readers who don’t see themselves getting back with their ex; but you must realize however that when someone is in the process of looking to get back with their ex, it’s hard to garner the necessary perspective on one’s own. This is one of the main reason why we recommend coaching sessions, in order to get the proper support and advice to meet your objectives.
1. My Ex is in a new relationship
One of the main reasons that can explain why your ex doesn’t want to see you is that they have found love elsewhere. In fact, when your ex has a new person in their life, it’s understandable that they wouldn’t want to see you. You may have been engaged in an intense or serious relationship, so seeing you could undermine their new interest or create tension. Their feelings could be growing, and consequently, your ex had cut ties with you in order to commit to their new boyfriend or girlfriend and to not be tempted of wanting to be with you again! So, if you’re asking yourself why my ex doesn’t want
to see me face-to-face? This could be a reason why.
It’s common for a lot of men and women to try to get over an ex by finding someone else as quickly as possible. In reality that is not be the healthiest option of finding love; but people often times seek this new relationship not to dwell on or think too much about the breakup; By thinking about someone else, you aren’t thinking about your ex.
Another explanation for this same scenario could be that someone is telling him or her not to talk to you. We all know that it can be very common; Jealousy may very well be a factor if you were in a long-term relationship or if you and your ex had a strong connection. His or her new partner wants to protect their new relationship. You know your ex better than they do and, most likely, you were well past the seduction phase that they are currently in. Therefore, you represent competition to them!
Whether they don’t want to speak to you because they’re seeing someone new or they don’t want to speak to you because their new partners forbid it, it doesn’t mean that your ex has forgotten you. After a breakup people often have a “Band-Aid relationship.” In other words, they’re just in another relationship so that they can get over you as fast as they can.
It’s a particular situation especially when you want to get back together with your ex. You have to say the right things at precisely the right time in order to get back in touch and to have a conversation that will help you to reach your goal. When your ex has someone new, you have to act differently. In situations like it, we invite you to consider one-on-one coaching sessions, where game plans can be tailored to your specific situation.
This is also why we’ve written an eBook which addresses this issue : to give you tools and keys to make things right.
2. My ex hasn’t forgiven me
Do you know the reason why they broke up with you? What exactly was said?
These are essential questions to ask yourself before thinking about how to win them back. It didn’t happen by chance – after months or even years of being together, this probably wasn’t an impulse or a spur-of-the-moment decision.
There must be valid reasons behind a decision of this magnitude. You may not be responsible for the breakup, but if you are, and your ex isn’t taking to you, it’s probably because they have yet to forgive you. We often ask ourselves why our ex doesn’t want to see us or speak with us.
Betrayal, lies and infidelity can leave enormous psychological scars. In fact, some of the hardest relationships to get over are the ones in which infidelity played a part. Breaking up doesn’t make it any easier for them. Most often, it makes it even harder to recover from the past transgression.
Staying upset at the one who hurt you is totally understandable after being forced to go through something that traumatic. This is surely what your ex feels if you’ve done such an egregious action. He or she will associate you with that pain which can explain their need for space.
3. My ex doesn’t want to see me until they are ready
Following a break up, there’s a common element which must be respected by both sides: distance. Your ex obviously needs it. They took a strong decision by leaving you and cutting off communication. Attempting to restore the relationship several days later isn’t a good idea and won’t help your chances of getting back with your ex. Worst of all, this can turn what would have been a short respite into a long-term deal breaker – particularly for new couples.
Your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend won’t be the only one who needs space. You can use it to your benefit as well, despite what you may think. In your head, you will go to any length to reconcile with your ex and to ensure that they don’t lose their feelings for you. But you are wrong to think that way. You must act differently not to make any mistakes and take your time in order to put the best plan into place and to execute it at the right time.
You just experienced shock, and consequently, you need to build yourself back up and build your morale back up before trying to win your ex back. I understand why you might be panicking, thinking, “My ex is ignoring me!” but if you don’t take a step back, it’ll even harder to completely turn over a new leaf in the relationship. Before getting back in touch, your ex needs to feel ready, and it’s for that reason that you shouldn’t try to rush things!
Your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend may not be ready to give you a second chance just yet or even agree to meet up with you. Just realize that it could be a blessing in disguise; in order to succeed in your goal of getting back together you must be in the right frame of mind. A bit of distance can help you regain the strength and momentum you need to start a new and improved relationship with the one you love!
Remember: My Ex May Be Doing Radio Silence!
It’s important to note the possibility (that we see more often than you’d think) that you’re not the only one that wants to get back together and your ex has succeeded in his endeavor! He’s made you miss him, and that means something. Radio Silence, (but I’m sure you already know this,) is one of the main ways to get back together with your ex. With distance and analysis you can send a striking message.
If your ex is refusing to see you, maybe it’s because they’re taking the time to analyze the situation and the breakup so that they can avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
Coaching for changing your ex’s mind
I know that a lot of you think that time is the best solution. You’re waiting and you’re thinking that in a week or in two months you’re going to be able to make them come back.
But it’s important to know that when you want to get back together with your ex, you shouldn’t waste time. I’m not saying that you have to run for your phone and call and text your ex immediately and continue doing so every day.
I’m just saying that you need to design a plan of action that you will follow to the T in order to get the desired reaction from the person you love.
That said, you should never randomly choose actions; you need the ones that are appropriate to your situation. A coaching session can help you make your ex stop ignoring you, and it can also help you to rebuild yourself and properly adapt the techniques I recommend.
When a man is no longer talking to you the worst thing you could possible do is to panic and harass them because it can make even eventually hate you. There are different ways to make your ex get back in touch but you should never force anything because it could make things worse.
Your coach to help you figure out why your ex does not want to see you,