Do you want to get back with your ex but you feel intimidated by how complex the situation seems to be? Have you maintained positive feelings towards your ex but just couldn’t manage to shift the dynamic quick enough in order to salvage your relationship and love story? Is the fear of being alone haunting you now or your emotional state stopping you from being able to move forward?
In this article we will tell you why it is OK to stop thinking about your ex and how a few simple shifts in your behavior can help you get back together!
You can stop thinking about your ex AND get back together!
While investing myself in relationship therapy and helping people get back with their ex through my coaching sessions, my articles and my eBook; I’ve become sure of one thing: the best way of getting past a breakup is to temporarily forget about your ex and take time to focus on yourself — to become a better person.
You want to try to stop thinking about your ex and shift your thoughts towards yourself by reaching small goals that you will have set. This simple goal oriented process is actually what can help you to quickly get the necessary perspective to find solutions to the issues that you faced as a couple and then eventually be in the best possible position to get back together for good.
You will also realize along the way that it is necessary for you to take your ex off a pedestal; through your actions and your neediness that is exactly what you are most likely continuously doing. By shifting your thoughts and focusing on becoming a better person while examining the dynamics of your relationship as a whole — you will be able to better understand your ex but also get solid insights into what went wrong.
The further you can step back, the better the process of reconciliation with your ex will be. It’s a fact. You will be able to use this new found perspective to put yourself in your ex’s shoes in order to offer solutions that they will understand! Most of the time people try to problem solve but fail to do so because they are only seeing an issue from their own perspective.
Although these tips are easy to comprehend and to begin to implement, they’re most often the hardest to carry out consistently over a period of time. But don’t give up! Realize that if you want to get back with your ex, you will need to meet their needs. The funny thing is indeed that often times in order to meet their needs you must stop thinking about them first.
Think about your personal wellbeing
To forget about your ex you need to be more rigorous. The first step consists of breaking away from some of those painful memories that you may have gone through in the past. You need to have a real desire to go down a new path. This will entail being prepared to start new activities that can help you both mentally and physically such as exercising, practicing yoga or another hobby that stimulates your body and mind.
You can also stop thinking about your ex and break away from the past by getting rid of certain objects or close that remind you of the breakup or your past relationship. Do not hesitate to put certain pictures into storage for example. If you still happen to live where you two had lived together, don’t hesitate to move out. You will need to be active and to take bold action that can enable your personal wellbeing to flourish once again.
Rely on your friends and family to take your mind off your ex
In essence what you are looking to do is to think about ways of rebuilding yourself. This process will always be easier if you are surrounded with good and caring people. We highly recommend that you spend time with people that you hadn’t spent much time with during your relationship.
Getting back in touch with old friends or family members can be an objective that you set and achieve. You will find tremendous comfort and fulfillment in looking to spend time with people that you once were close with.
This can be a healing process for you and one that will eventually make you stronger and one that will empower you in getting back with the one you love; furthermore when looking to reach these small goals you will have stopped thinking about your ex as much as you may have while being inactive or passive.
But take time for yourself!
This is an opportunity for you to look after yourself and to do things that really excite you. Don’t hesitate to take each opportunity you have to regain confidence in yourself. If you’ve been feeling depressed, you need to focus on your morale and take care of your mental wellbeing by engaging in constructive activities that lift your spirit.
Even if it can seem odd to you, forgetting about your ex for a little while will allow you to get to know them once again – only better this time. Taking the time to do things that you love will help you clear your mind and reflect on your previous relationship differently. You will then be in a position to use your newfound knowledge of your partner to figure out solutions to avoid past issues.
See this process as a new starting point; and continue to make efforts to focus on your own wellbeing which will in turn enable you to stop thinking about your ex. Once you’ve started to think less and less about your ex, and more about your own personal wellbeing, you will even be in a better position to assess if another shot at a potential relationship is even worth your time.
Feel free to share some of your own thoughts in the comments section!
Your coach, here to help you stop thinking about your ex,