I know right now you may be heartbroken as it’s hard to come to terms with why your ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend. Your mind is spinning around in circles; you may be asking yourself “what did I do to deserve this?” because you loved this person. After all, it’s difficult to try and understand how someone you loved can be in a new relationship.
In this article, I am going to walk you through 3 things you should know that explains why he made his decision. Also, we will talk about the most common questions I receive when coaching clients which are, “My ex has a new girlfriend. Will he forget about me?” Further, into the article, I am going to share with you five things you can do to get him back.
Through my coaching experience, I have encountered numerous rebound relationships and clients being able to successfully get back with the one they love. I absolutely love what I do, and it’s important that I share my advice with you and so many others. As you read this blog, please be sure to comment, let me know what you think and also let me know if you have any questions and I would be happy to answer them personally.
My ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend: Ways that can explain his decision
Your ex may be already dating someone else because something happened in your relationship that he wasn’t satisfied with. You may have pushed him away as you relied on him for emotional support. I mention this because it’s prevalent that this happens in relationships.
Your ex probably felt as though he grew apart from you because you were too available or attached to him and you didn’t show any spark of independence, so the thrill in the relationship was lost. Sometimes he may not be able to always put his finger on it and might tell you he loves you but he is not in love with you anymore.
Personal Values: A lot of the time, your values weren’t aligned with his future goals. Additional added stress can come when his family has a certain vision for him, and he feels as though your values are not the same, so he sees no point or future for the both of you to be together anymore.
He wants to feel the spark: Often communication fails because he may not feel supported, or feel as though he was able to be open with you. As the relationship continues there are fights that happen that are coming from each other insecurities, and the couple cannot let it go. So, the relationship becomes a chore for him. He feels like he has no sense of independence and decides to move on which you then find your ex has a new girlfriend.
How to cope when your ex has a new girlfriend
Here is a common question that appears always. My answer most of the time is no! Just because your ex has a new partner does not mean that he has forgotten you. You shared so many memories in each other’s lives and were a part of each other’s growth for months or years. When you get out of a relationship, your ex may be in a rebound depending on the reason for the breakup.
A lot of times you can appear in pictures, family topics, or even social media. This is where you can make it known for him not to forget about you. When it comes to social media you can post pictures of you being happy, confident, and socializing. After a certain amount of time, he will start to notice this. As time goes on the feelings can intensify for your ex even if they are in a new relationship especially if its a rebound relationship.
The most powerful result to make sure your ex does not forget about you is having impactful changes towards you and no one else. When your ex notices that you are happy and have taken a new approach to move forward they can start to get interested in finding out why. Because of the fact that you both shared beautiful moments together it will get them thinking: “Did she forget about me?”. So not only are you working towards positive change but you can also catch your ex’s attention if you redirect your focus and sadness to improve you.
This might be the hardest thing to do and the hardest to understand, but it’s the most powerful tool you can use to get your ex-attention and also feel a lot better about yourself. I mean even if you’re blocked from social media you can still use social media to your advantage because he is still casually looking at either your profile picture or pictures you don’t have on private.
My Ex Got A New Girlfriend: 3 Ways To Focus on Personal Growth To Get Him Back
The point here is to challenge yourself to dive deeply into what went wrong in the relationship and implement what I like to call the Reset Method. The reason why this is so important to do is there were challenges in your relationship that lead to your breakup. So, depending on your reason your ex broke up with this has to be a change, and a shift has to occur.
Here is the time to show your confidence and positive side of your new approach on life. Typically, if your ex and new girlfriend have an argument or something goes wrong, this will be the time he unblocks you or maybe even reaches out. If he went into this relationship as a rebound, this is more likely to happen right away.
Also, most importantly you are looking at the breakup through a new lens as a learning opportunity. How can you become a better person, and how can you grow from this relationship? I have seen numerous couples being able to have a happy and healthy sustainable relationship because one of them chose to move forward and focus on bettering themselves so they can show up better for their ex in the future.
You can use the No Contact
Even though this may be extremely challenging for you this is important to your growth and also getting back the control in your relationship. With that said, it’s crucial that you don’t cut corners or try to go too fast in this process. If the person is important to you, then this is something essential to implement right away.
No contact will increase your chances of getting back with your ex. No contact helps you avoid making the same mistakes and becoming instantly reactive when you have emotions involved. Not only does this challenge you to not react because of emotions but it challenges you to reflect and look at your emotions during the process, so you become stronger when you are around your ex.
Rebuild Your Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem
If your ex has a new girlfriend, then your ego may have taken a hit. Right now, it’s essential that you release any blockages so you can regain self-esteem before contacting your ex again. Now, the best advice I can give you especially if you see your ex has a new girlfriend is to be strong and confident.
Although I know it can be incredibly difficult, do not let your ex see you squirm. If you see your ex with their new girlfriend casually say hello smile and move on. If you are in the same room with them, do not engage in eye contact or look at them as this will give your ex more control as this is something he may want. Instead, balance your emotions don’t look at them at all and enjoy your time. If you cannot enjoy your time, this is when you leave the room.
The best advice I can give you is to stretch your comfort zone to evolve as an individual. Yes, you might be unhappy right now because your ex broke up with you but you were probably unhappy before the breakup occurred.
That’s why it’s a process to be in the right place mentally in order to implement your actions of personal growth, talk to them again, and re-seduce them. This is the time to involve yourself in something you love, workout, and also change your look a little. This will be sure to capture their attention.
Create A Feeling of Absence
Your ex has a new girlfriend at the moment, but it doesn’t mean they don’t think about you. Yes, the ex-boyfriend, new girlfriend thing might be a hard adjustment, but you want to make it a little difficult for your ex too. By following these other four steps I provided to you above you will not only make an impact but if you do this successfully your ex may be coming around at this point. Possibly checking your stories on social media or even texting you here and there.
Let’s just put something out on the table. As humans by nature, we are always attracted to what we can’t have so made your ex face this separation. Don’t reach out to them pouring your heart out every single day and telling them you are waiting for them.
Instead, keep the dialogue going every once in a while, but ended with a “gotta run, have a nice day!” This shows that you are ending things and you have become a stronger person overall. It’s as if the breakup hasn’t fazed you.
If he calls or text give it some time to respond and don’t seem to available. Let him reciprocate, and every once and a while respond with a close-ended response and force him to have to get creative if he wants the conversation to continue. I know that you brought joyful memories to your ex and this is something he will not forget. Focus on maintaining a positive mindset and a positive approach as this will help you’re gravitate towards a positive direction.
He Has a new girlfriend: Wait to Re-Seduce Your Ex
At this point, you might be still asking yourself how I can get this done if my ex has a new girlfriend? I am here to tell you, it’s possible! Through coaching thousands of clients, the ones that have done the most transformational growth are the ones who have succeeded in this process.
They challenged themselves to step out of their comfort zone and face their emotions head on. They choose to let go of a victim mentality of being broken up with or your ex having a new girlfriend. They chose to make themselves stronger from a new approach and taking accountability for their actions.
Lastly, when you and your ex start talking again, it’s time to re-seduce him. Yes, you did it before so you can do it again. What was it that you did before that can change things now. What did he like most about you? Use your most desired qualities to your advantage. During your reflection time, you will get an opportunity to get these answers and also come out confident as ever.
Remember to take things at a slow pace and not to jump in right away. The focus is for you to heal from the breakup and come out as a new and improved partner! The more you have control of this the more you will be successful! I am wishing you all the best, and I am here if you need any further guidance.
Your coach in getting back with your ex!