For many people out there, receiving a phone call or text message from your ex is truly a dream come true. Once their ex calls, it’s all rainbows and butterflies.
For other people, however, it’s a real shock. Why? Well, because frankly, it can be really scary and you may just not know how to react when faced with this type of situation (after all, getting a call from your ex, no matter or recent or outdated the relationship is, doesn’t happen everyday!)
If the communication between you and your ex has taken a hit after the breakup, that’s completely normal. Therefore, if you’re part of the group who is petrified of the reality that your ex is calling, then don’t worry, this response is also normal! However, just because it’s weird, doesn’t mean it has to stay weird. You can recover the dialogue and go back to the times when it felt so easy and comfortable.
If you’re hoping to get back together with your ex, it’s important to be able to find a good way to be in touch, even if this can make you feel pretty uncomfortable at times!
When you hear from an ex, you may immediately begin asking yourself any of the following questions:
1. Why am I getting a phone call?
2. How should I take advantage of this opportunity to turn things around?
3. What should I say to them to reignite attraction?
If you’re asking yourself these questions, you’ll definitely be interested in this article! I want to mention prior to getting into details, that this article, like any other I publish, is meant to spark dialogue and conversation. I encourage you to leave a comment in the section below. Include your age and your partners age, and if you’re comfortable, share your personal experience with receiving contact from your ex. How did you handle it? Do you wish you would have handled it differently?
This website is for everyone, and your experience can really influence the decision-making process of thousands of other people trying to navigate through their own relationships.
Answering a call from your ex: Under what circumstances?
When you receive a phone call from your ex, if your feelings are still present, it can be a real relief. In fact, maybe you’ve been waiting for this phone call for some time now. You didn’t make the first step because you didn’t want to suffocate them and you wanted to give them the space they needed. If you took this approach, way to go! The ability to go into a period of No Contact following a relationship is the number one method I practice with my clients. (Well, my practice is called Radio Silence, and there are a variety of articles on this website about how to implement it and the types of results you should expect to see.)
When you see their name show up on your phone, you’re instantly filled with joy and adrenaline. Remember, just because it feels good to hear from them, doesn’t mean it’s a great idea to pick up the call or respond. Make sure that it feels right and that you’re prepared to handle it.
This conversation can truly influence whether or not you and your ex get back together, so don’t take it lightly. If you need help prepping for this, please reach out to me and we can discuss in a one-on-one coaching session.
Sometimes, men and women rush things and the first mistake they make is thanking their ex for the call. This is a “no-no”, because this reminds the ex how much they’re missed. In other words if you do this, you’re doing exactly the opposite of what you’re supposed to be doing. In this situation, you should not act like this because you’ll waste a perfect opportunity to get back in touch with your ex in a healthy way. If you feel you might break one of the rules of getting back together, then don’t answer. If you know you can control yourself, go ahead and answer.
As a coach, I would rather you wait until you’re ready and then execute correctly, than rush into it just because an opportunity has presented itself. Remember, don’t jeopardize the potential for a long term relationship with your ex at the expense of wanting it right now. Love is not a race. If you rush it, you’ll run out of steam before the journey ends. Be mindful of this.
My ex called me but should I respond?
Since each situation is different, it’s hard for me to give you a direct answer about when it’s appropriate to answer your ex’s call. However, if you’re questioning it, then there’s a pretty good chance it’s too soon.
In any case, the most important thing to do is for you to keep your self-control and to not get too “caught up” in the idea of talking to your ex partner. Even though it’s an important step when trying to get back together, keep your cool: it’s just a phone call.
Before even thinking about answering, you have to make sure you’ve worked on your self-confidence. This way you’ll be able to have a conversation with your ex without begging, without making them see that you’re suffering incessantly from heartache.
Wallowing and voicing how much you’re struggling isn’t very attractive for your ex, so keep these things to yourself and don’t divulge your intentions quite yet. Just like during the seduction phase, you’ll have to remain neutral. Remember – its not a race.
This phone call is a possible means to ensure a way to meet up with the person in question. The first time you meet up face to face after a breakup isn’t always easy. Stress, anxiety and even your emotions can make you feel uneasy. If you use this call as well as future ones to repair your communication, your discussions will be much easier and you’ll be more inclined to organize meeting up with your ex face to face.
If you do secure a face-to-face meeting with you’re ex, make sure you’re ready. We have a bunch of articles on how to knock the first date out of the park and I encourage you to dive into them to prep for the big interaction.
Picking Up My Ex’s Call if I Don’t Want Him Back:
It’s important to note that, when it comes to the advice I’ve listed thus far, second guessing is only for those really trying to get their ex back. If you aren’t, which may be the case for a lot of readers, and you’ve clearly decided to turn the page (and hopefully
This could be a good way to reopen healthy contact with an ex after a separation.
However, there could be a couple reasons why you shouldn’t pick up the phone, even if you’re over them. For instance, is answering an ex’s phone call a good idea when you’re in a new relationship?
Your new partner might not be comfortable with you being in touch with your ex. Or, if they’re in a new relationship, will their partner cause a fuss because your ex is calling? If you’re truly over someone, you probably don’t want to stir the pot of your own life, so be cautious when it comes to answering your ex’s call, even if you’re over him/her and the situation.
Why is my ex contacting me?
When you receive an unexpected phone call from your ex, the very first thing you wonder is why? It’s true that this isn’t something that happens all the time, and even though many of my readers dream of being in this situation, when it finally happens it’s not always as easy as they expected. You can receive a call from an ex for many reasons, so a huge tip is to not garment that call with any expectations whatsoever. Here are 3 popular reasons we see as coaches regarding : Why My Ex Is Calling?
They regret their decision and want to get back in touch with you. If you’re one of the people trying to get back together with your ex, then for obvious reasons a situation around them calling is ideal. If this is the case, then I still encourage you not to discuss the struggles of getting over them for reasons previously listed, but, at least you’ll have the comfort of knowing that your dream is on the verge of materializing and you’re going to get your ex back.
The radio silence worked! As I previously mention, Radio Silence is a critical technique in getting your ex back. If you started to implement this tool specifically to make them realize how much they need you then guess what, it worked! By cutting contact with your ex, you’ve nudged them to make the first move. You can therefore answer the call, but don’t think that this automatically means that your period or Radio Silence has to end.
In fact, if you throw Radio Silence out the window just because they called, then they’ll know the power is in their court and this is NOT what we want to happen. Be very mindful of this. While your ex calling may mean that Radio Silence is working, it doesn’t mean that Radio Silence is ending – make note of this distinction if you want to get your ex back. Keep your distance even if you’re smiling from ear to ear while you’re on the phone!
A phone call from your ex could also result from guilt. They know you’re going through a difficult period and that it’s hard for you to move on from this breakup. So in order to “help you,” they’re calling. Unfortunately, even though your ex is clearly thinking of you, this isn’t the best solution. Your job now is to turn this feeling of guilt into a feeling of missing you if you want them back. You can do this by passing on their support and comfort and instead, showcase that you’re growing and looking at this situation like an opportunity to evolve as a person. Needless to say, this IS how you should be viewing your breakup. This experience can help redefine the relationship you have with the most valuable person in your life : yourself.
In the end, the goal of this article is to illustrate that while you should be cautious about your ex’s decision to reach out, it’s important not to panic and overexert yourself emotionally. Don’t let your ex or anyone in your life convince you that you don’t hold the cards in your relationship and that in fact, you can make this conversation go just the way you want it to. Time is in your favor, so don’t be afraid to experiment with it and let it help you avoid being needy or demanding of their time. Happiness is something you create for yourself, and no breakup should impair your ability to live an excellent and satisfying life.
Last but not least, don’t forget to let them make the effort. Let them work for it! Work for you! Why? Because after all, your ex is the one making the call. They’ll searching for connection for one reason or another. Because of this, the ball is in your court and the jury in your favor.
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