My ex is not talking to me anymore and I don’t get it!

Listen to the Article :


Free course :  3 detailed videos over the course of the next three days designed to put the pieces back together and set you out on a new path


Free course :  3 detailed videos over the course of the next three days designed to put the pieces back together and set you out on a new path

Listen to the Article

Table of Contents

My ex is not talking to me anymore After a breakup or a big fight there is probably a period in which the two partners make some space between them. This isn’t necessarily physical space. If you live together, or if you have children together it’s hard to not speak to one another so the distance made between you can also be emotional.

But in most cases you also feel it physically, there is no contact between you, the text messages you send each other become more and more rare, you stop calling one another, and this situation can become unbearable.

After having gone through a breakup, you have to understand the reasons behind your current situation if you want to improve your relationship. It is by comprehending these reasons that you’ll be able to set up techniques that are properly adapted to your situation, and you’ll finally be able to put an end to this silence that’s becoming more and more oppressing.

After the breakup, you were maybe hoping that the rapport between you and your ex would improve, but it’s not the case. Even if you’re not actually planning on trying to get back together, there still is no contact between you. You just want to be on good terms because after all, you’re not enemies and you want the tension and bitterness to subside.

My ex is not talking to me anymore and I don’t know what to do.” It’s usually because of this feeling that a person ends up making mistakes, but from now on you’re going to know exactly what to do!

My ex is not talking to me anymore and I don’t know why?

On top of the fact that you have no news from the man you were once so close to, you’re also faced with incomprehension and sadness. You can’t bring yourself to understand what could push him to not speak to you anymore or to be so cold in the messages that he does send you.

Because yes, you’re the only person making the effort, you’re making the first step, and you’re trying hard to reestablish communication because you don’t consider your ex as a stranger.

Of course there are many reasons that could explain why he isn’t speaking to you after the breakup. One these reasons is often because of bitterness. I’m not saying that you’re necessarily responsible for what’s happened because you don’t deserve this, but maybe you’ve made some mistakes.

Perhaps you’ve said something that offended him and he doesn’t want to suffer anymore.

If you were unfaithful, this type of reaction isn’t unusual. Oftentimes after having been with another man, the person you love can give you the silent treatment.

Your man is having a hard time forgiving you and sees you as the person that broke their heart and you’re realizing the consequences as you’re looking at your phone thinking, “My ex is not talking to me anymore.”

But these aren’t the only possible reasons behind his behavior! If your ex is distant maybe it’s because he needs time to put things into perspective in terms of your relationship and the breakup.

It’s not easy to fully analyze the situation or their mistakes and to come up with solutions to help them feel better when they talk to the person they spent so much time with every day.

How can you get back in contact with a man that’s avoiding you?

The more the person pulls away the more you want to contact them. It’s just human nature so you should never feel like you’re going crazy or that you’re alone/ If your 10 text messages have yielded no results, it’s likely that the 11th one won’t be any more effective.

If you keep saying, “I just want to hear from you please!” or “Why aren’t you responding?” you’re not going to make any advancements in your attempt at getting back together. If anything your ex is going to feel harassed.

There are mistakes that you must avoid making when you’re explaining to your friends that “my ex is not longer speaking to me.” If you want him to talk to you you’re going to have to change your approach and do the opposite of what you’ve been doing up until now.

[showmodule id=”9359209″]

The first step is to completely forget harassing him. If he didn’t answer your call, don’t call back 15 minutes later because all it will do is drive him up the wall, and even further away from you.

The second thing is to never forget to remain positive. You should never look desperate, because no one (be it your ex or anyone else) wants to talk to someone who is constantly experiencing heartache. This is one of the many reasons why it’s imperative that you don’t flood his phone with text messages or phone calls.

Is a magic letter the solution for talking to your ex?

You’re wondering how to express yourself without being in touch with your ex-partner if he’s not responding to your phone calls or if when you meet there is no improvement because he won’t speak. There’s nothing worse than an ex that gives no sign of life.

But I have a method that will really help you; a method that I’ve perfected via my experience and it happens to be my specialty. I am of course talking about the handwritten letter geared towards getting back together with your ex. “He’s not replying to any of my messages, he’s not talking to me at all.”

It’s time to stop trying to use these methods of communication and try a more radical solution!

In this letter, if you follow my advice in my audio seminar guide or in the examples of letters in my book “70 Pro Tips To Get Back With Your Ex,” you’ll be able to reestablish real communication with your ex by catching them off guard.

[showmodule id=”9359209″]

Be careful though, this isn’t supposed to be a love letter or an apology letter in which you go on and on about how amazing you think they are.

The goal is very different; you’re going to talk about the breakup and especially the solutions that you could provide in your relationship in order rebuild it, and the changes that you’ve made in terms of your ex’s expectations!

You shouldn’t panic when you’re thinking that your ex doesn’t want to hear from you anymore. When you’ve spent an ample amount of time with a man and he now ignores you, it means that there are specific reasons behind his actions.

Your job is now to understand what these reasons are and why they could push him to behave this way, and you should not think that your ex despises you.

If he doesn’t want to see you anymore then don’t force him to because it would just make things worse. Give him some time and space and start with a method that is tried and true. It goes by the name of Radio Silence and it will bring you positive results.

There is currently an article as well a free guide on the site to master the technique of Radio Silence from A to Z.

Your coach when your ex doesn’t speak to you anymore.



61 Responses

  1. I was with my boyfriend for 4 years we had an amazing and loving relationship and he wanted to marry me. suddenly he started cheating on me almost every week, for that reason, we split up, but after using the spell of Mr Robinson , my relationship turned around and my boyfriend became loyal and dedicated man, dedicated Robinson is my blessing and i’m glad his lover spells worked. it was so hard to believe at first that my boyfriend would come back, when Mr Robinson buckler told me that my boyfriend will return i thought it was a joke to my surprise my boyfriend came back 3 days, [robinson.buckler@yahoo. com] is the true spell caster, its has been two weeks since my boyfriend came home, this love spell have done wonders in my relationship, i will advice anyone who need help to run to Mr Robinson for he will help you bring back your lost lover, he is a professional! when it come to solving relationship issues, contact him he will not let you down..

  2. My x and I were together 6 years and broke up I had a melt down yelled at him and told him to get out I was just upset because I felt he was not getting his life together he kept partying and stayed out a few times I didn’t really think he would move out but he did ! We had already agreed earlier that he was going to stay at his moms in PA for the summer to work and help her and he would get ahead . Also we had plans to go to Hawaii in December he said we’d get engaged … Anyway I discovered that he was staying at this girls house down our street I don’t think any thing was going on just having a party time but he was very mean to me barley talked to me and when he finally left to go he stopped by my house to hug me ? So now it’s been 2 months of us texting and talking here and there I’ve done stupid stuff like cry and beg but stopped I found out through his email cause he left it on our computer that he was coming into town and saw his flight itinerary I did not let him know I knew I wanted to see what he would do. So the day came that he came into town the girl was the one who told me on our street ! He kept texting and calling me and the next day I point blank said oh I heard you were in town is it true and he said yes that he kept it secret because he wanted to surprise me . But he was basically in town to see his son . Mind you he also agreed that I visit him in Pa and I have plane tickets and everything . So the next night he went out with mutual friends if our s and later showed up at my house afterwards very annebriated but very happy to me and we fooled around and the next morning he was so sweet and agreed to me coming to stay at his hotel room that night as my mom was visiting. He had some plans with his son and then with some friends and then would meet me. Once again he came to the hotel and we had a nice time great sex and just couldn’t get enough of each other I happened to get a look at his phone there were texts saying not to tell me he was in town to mutual friends but they all told me anyway some were dear friends of mine he had to have known they would tell Also I found out he was on tinder !! Gross. Also there was a text from a girl in PA and some pictures of her she was not attractive and she said she was surprised to hear from him but it also said they had dinner together He confided in a close friend and said he hadn’t had sex with anyone in a long time He stayed with me every night he didn’t know I saw his phone and I confronted him and said are you saying people cause if you are I will cancel my trip and move on he denied seeing anyone he said he was t and didn’t want to date anyone I also said people have been texting me saying you said to not tell me you were in town when I asked why he said I wanted to surprise you when he left he said thanks for the good sex really?! I told him I was not on board with that and I loved him and wanted to work things out so he went back to PA he’s called me every nite sent pics yesterday is calling me this evening my question is. If he is so done and we are broken up why even bother seeing me why tell people he knew for a fact would alert me to his actions and prescence he could have come into town made a friendly call or not see me at all also why agree to me coming there and he was very excited that I’m coming he is even taking an extra day off from work And he will in no way shape or form admit to seeing any other girl period I really want to get back but I am perplexed as to what to do I’m trying to be as cool as possible in hopes I can seal the deal to work things out when I go there in 3 weeks he was just here last week I even texted some dumb texts last nite after I drank too much like I love you don’t want to lose you .. Ugh. I texted back today and said sorry hope you aren’t mad he texted back not at all with a smiley face said he was going hiking and would call me this evening so here I am

    1. Kelly I can help you turn things around quickly! You actually have a lot going for you and I think that we can turn things around if you are prepared to work together. I invite you to book a coaching session with in order for me to provide you with tailored feedback and a game plan.
      Wishing you all the very best either way!

          1. Mr.Adrian, hi there. I need help also. I have been in a relationship for over 2 years and in the last year we broke up at least 3 times. He always came back. But we never fix what was not working for my ex is way older then me and also has other problems. This time he said he is done and didn’t see anything can be salvage in out relationship. Plus he dont feel it anymore. He stop talking for about 6 days and then he text me again that he misses me and what a struggle it is. He showed up at my house that day. He also told me that he loves me. But today he is back to being cooler again. I think there is do much damage done already and I have a big problem in trusting him. I do love him very much though. Thank you.

          2. Hey Manuela,
            Thanks for reaching out, I have tons of experience dealing with similar situations, so please book a coaching session in order for me to help you turn things around.

      1. Hiya about 3 weeks ago my bf broke up with me after hugeee argument my fault I was so drunk can’t remember the argument I left his place text him I’m sorry he told me I’d broken him with the arguing to give him space to cool off and think but I’m a girl I never gave him space we spent every moment together even had such a brilliant closeness with his mam. He said I drove him away by text him constantly he never ended the relationship to my face. Put single on social media I was in complete shock as he done everything for me. Now he just won’t talk to me

        1. Hey Ashy,
          Thanks for reaching out, you should be very careful with alcohol consumption, can’t tell you how many breakups i’ve witnessed because of it. Reach out to me and book a coaching session in order for us to work together and win him back.

  3. I met a men who was my friend and then my boyfriend. The relationship lasted about 4 years. I even thought I would marry this man. We were both very grown (over 40 – neither ever married) when we met.
    Things went from difficult to him never wanting to speak to me again. I treated this man like a king. I was so hurt when he sent me a long critical email and would NEVER speak to me again. I saw him in the street shortly after we split up and he would not even look at me. I could hardly believe it.
    That was about 4 years ago. He does not reply to any messages or anything. This is the only relationship I have ever had when the man refused to speak to me at all. I found it very hurtful and confusing. I feel I deserve better.
    There are some men who will never speak to you again. I hope I never meet another one like him.

  4. I was with my ex for 2 years. Im in my late 30s , he in his mid 40s. We had a good relationship, we had fun together, always laughing and everything felt great. We also each have 1 child from past relationships and we all meshed really well, especially in recent months.
    2 weeks ago the 4 of us had a great weekend with the kids spending time at haunted houses and carving pumpkins and baking etc . All of us having a wonderful time. On that Sunday, he and i were going to have a date night at a more adult hallowed function. My daughter was goung to stay with a friend and his son was going to his mom’s. But all of a sudden his son’s mom bails on picking him up at the time we would need to go. Shes always mad if we do that to her so naturally i was irritated with this. And yes we ended up missing the function.
    I was mad, plus i had lots of other things on my mind including moving (he and i dont live together)… i mentioned a sore subject and that was saying i wish he was ready to move in together. This sent us into a fight. But we ended up having a good discussion and came to conclusions. I was happy that we could talk. He said he hopes to buy a house in the next yr and that we could revisit the move in topic then. Awesome… we ended up having discussions on future etc. My daughter and i ended up leaving and before I left his place i asked if we were really good, he said couldn’t be better… and he hugged and kissed me saying how much he loved me.
    5 hours later at 11pm, he text me saying we’re over…. i was stunned. I couldn’t believe what i read! And there was no explanation. I dont know what to think. Its been 2 weeks and the only thing he communicated to me was to get my stuff. I asked if we could talk and he said about what? I said the fact you dumped me over text after 2 yrs together. He said, And??
    I got my stuff today he left it on the porch. Im so saddened by this. We had something really great. I wish i knew what happened…. i feel like ill never know and that i was a nobody to him. I cant stop crying, 2 weeks have passed and tears daily. I still very much love him….he says he doesn’t love me anymore. Which i find hard to believe.
    Mutual friends say hes depressed, unkept and angry. But he wonttalk about it. And he hasnt told his son… who asks about why im not there. He told him im working a lot. 🙁
    The friend says our photos are still up in his house too. The whole thing is weird.. goung from love to hate… ugh help?? I want to reconcile at some point but is this worth saving?

    1. Hi! I am going through the same and it is literally tearing me apart. I am in my early 40’s and he is mid 40’s. I have texted and tried everything but he won’t respond. I can’t understand how someone can leave a love one behind via text. Can you please share what happened with your situation. Did he contact you?

  5. so I kind. Of have the opposite problem, my bfs ex wont stop harassing us. She would message him talking abt old times they have together, so finally I told him to delete and block her. So he did, cuz he doesn’t care. But now she thinks he’s still into her and blabbing to everyone about it and she emails him about how their soulmates and he needs to get over her and anyways we’ve now blocked her from everything, she still talks to his mom about him though. Ive been dateing him 4 years now and she was only with him 1. Sometimes girls just need to back off especially if he’s moved on, he has no feeling whatsoever for her.iguess she just thought they’d be besties forever 😒 So my point is that sometimes girls when your upset your ex wont talk to you, just think about how you’re feel if he had kept talking to his crazy ex when he was with you… let him move on with his life and move on with yours! He’s someone else’s man now.

    1. Your situation sounds frustrating. It seems like he were talking to you both at the same time. Be careful that he isn’t lying to you or using you to cope from the break up with her. This has happened to me and it’s not healthy for the relationship as there has been times where I was in question of maybe they could possibly still be communicating with one another or maybe he really is covering the real truth by being with me as a distraction. Which I then later found out they were meanwhile I’m thinking I could control the situation by blocking as well. He then left me to be back with his ex after 2yrs just knowing he doesn’t care for her and obviously those were feelings he was hiding all along and now he’s ignoring me and now I have to learn how to move on. Funny how the tables have turned.

  6. Hi Jenny,
    This is a great observation. I know it’s frustrating when an ex tries to stay in the picture.

  7. Funny that my ex girlfriend has a new boyfriend, and I am still trying to build a communication with him. I am as you describe as a crazy ex, who texts her about our memories and such.>.> Sometimes, there are things that you cannot move from. I guess it is best if both you and your boyfriend talk to her since your boyfriend does not care anymore, anyway.

  8. My ex broke up with me after 9 months. That was 2 months ago. We broke up after an argument and cos I was texting him loads and he said nothing. He hasn’t spoken to me since but he looks at every single snapchat and Instagram story I post? Do you think he’s just bitter and is loving that I’m fretting over him and still want him? Should I do NC?

    1. Hi Lauren,
      Thank you for your share. You pose some great questions here! To start, I really encourage you to go NC for a little while. This includes social media! Don’t let him always know what you’re doing. Let him be a bit more curious. It can make all the difference!
      If you need a hand in defining these parameters, please feel free to book a session with Adrian or myself.
      Looking forward to speaking again soon,
      Coach N.

      1. Hi Natalie,

        Thank you for your advice. I really need to stick by NC- I messaged him again today but no message and you’re right about posting nothing on social media. It makes him wonder what I’m up to and maybe miss me. I really hope that by breaking NC again, I haven’t ruined my chances!

  9. My ex broke up with me in Nov. 2016 after our 3 year anniversary. We had a LDR and I was trying to find a place in her state so we could start our lives together. We never really fought. We got along great and communicated regularly. A month before the breakup I traveled to her state in hopes of finding a place to rent. After failing I returned back to my state to try again. We went on break at that point. After a couple weeks, I was no longer a priority. To be fair she goes to college so I understand she’s stressed and busy, but she started losing feeling for me and even talked about having a polyamorous relationship. I know she wanted to be intimate with someone else. I tried harder to find a place, but it took about another month. I found a place and was ready to move when she told me she “couldn’t do this anymore” and broke up with me. I talked to her after and never really gave me a reason. She started giving me mixed signals and false hope, then crushed it in Dec. She hasn’t talked to me since saying that we are not getting back together, but she told me different beforehand. It bothers me cause she was the last person who met my parents before they passed and she even got my dad’s blessing to marry me. That meant the world to me but she acts like she doesn’t care. I’m trying to do NC and am even traveling around and picked up a new hobby, but what she said to me before and no contact now is driving me crazy. What do I do? I can’t stop thinking about her.

    1. Tan,
      This is a great question. When it comes to matters relating to the child, keep in contact, even if your ex isn’t talking to you anymore and you don’t get or understand why. Outside of the child, no contact should stay as is, in order to allow time to heal some of the wounds in the relationship. I hope this helps.
      Coach N.

  10. My ex and I broke up a year ago we were friends maybe even more he was always close to me and it seemed that neither of us actually moved on but this yeas he totally changed not only with me but with his friends too…I wrote a letter once about ‘us’but I didnot send it some of the girls gave it to him he then stareq ignoring me and he asked one of my friends out 3 times …his friends are all on my side trying to explain to him …we had a group chat and he think I was ignoring him after the break up…I donot know what to do anymore plz help!

    1. Hi Nourhan,
      Thank you for your share. I’m sorry to hear about this! I know how much it hurts when your ex stops talking to you and you don’t know what to do. Try to assess what could have triggered the breakup in the first place. If we can get to the root, we can fix it. If you aren’t sure how to go about this, I’m here to help! Feel free to book a session with me.
      Coach N.

  11. I broke up with my ex of almost 5 years on January 27th 2017. There was no infidelity involved. As I grew up, I wanted to pursue some things and really find myself. I did it in person because I felt it was the most mature thing to do. It has been a month and he hasnt spoken to me since that night. My friends are all telling me to give him time and space. I recently deactivated my facebook so I wouldn’t get distracted and could use my time more wisely. I’ve been crying a lot this week and I kept messaging him, asking him to please give me one hour of his time so we can meet up. Nothing. He ignored my texts and later that night my friend told me that he has been writing negative things on facebook. When I asked to see it, she said it wont be the best idea and would make me even more sad. I am tempted to see what he wrote about me or about us but I know that wont benefit me in any way for the healing process. This last month has been really hard. I feel like we had a love like no one else and I feel guilty for ending things. He told me that he would be supportive of whatever I decide but I didnt think that I would lose my best friend along the way. People say time heals all wounds. But I am in a lot of pain. I dont want to be sad anymore. I want to get over him and move on. He obviously hates me or doesn’t give a thought about me because he was so cold for not replying to my messages. I dont want to sound desperate. But I think about both of us. I want to talk to him and make things clear or at least have an adult conversation where as he just wants to avoid the whole thing. I feel like I mean nothing to him anymore…. like once we broke up, I am trash to him. Everyday is hard to get by and i dont know what to do anymore. I’d probably be better off dead and he still wouldn’t show the slightest sympathy. I dont expect forgiveness from him but I just feel terrible and have a feeling that he will never reach out. How do I move on from such a heartbreak? Yes even though I broke up with him I am suffering a lot right now. Please don’t judge me. Thank you

    1. I totally understand. I am the one who asked for a breakup, but I am the one who is hurt. I don’t know if it get’s any better. Everyone says time heals, but I also feel like how can I possibly face tomorrow. I think you should stand by your decision and focus on growth. We can only wait for them to reach out to us. It may take years.

  12. My boyfriend was forced to break up with me by his parents and religious reasons. His family is very muslim. However, they don’t live in the same country as us, so they didn’t know until his uncle who does lives in the same city as us saw us, while we were out together, and told his parents about us. His parents gave him a hard time and recited religious teachings from the Qu’ran. However, he is not a deceitful person and definitely didn’t play with me for fun. He was very sincere with me in all of what he said and did and his feelings towards me as well. He seemed in a stressful state, when he told me we had to break up. We were very alike in character and personality and had a particularly similar interest and liking for banters and comebacks which created this bond. It was rare to have this similar kind of humour I have and love, so I don’t want to lose such a rare friend. He himself said we could be friends, but then after a week or two when I met him, he was cold to me and when I texted him he didn’t reply. I thought afterwards that I might have texted him too early on, and I texted him to meet up for a talk, maybe that wasn’t that well thought through on my side, as it might have been hard to meet then too. But as he ignored me, I got angry and sent several messages on top of that, no response either. So I decided maybe it was the best to not speak to him at all. When I met him around, I looked away, I think he was even looking my direction though. I still really want to talk to him and be friends. I am afraid to try, as I am scared of being disappointed again. When is it suited to speak to each other again? What is a good way to approach it?

    1. Hi Jenny,
      Thank you for your share. I know how hard this is, especially when the motives behind the breakup dealt with religious differences. At this stage, I really encourage you to take a step back. Let the situation breathe. You will have time to rekindle the friendship in the future and take things slowly from there. In a few weeks, if you reach out, he’ll be more receptive. Right now, it’s just too soon.
      If you need a hand with what to do, I invite you to book a session with me. I’d love to her you resolve this.
      Coach N.

      1. Thanks for your answer, Coach Natalie. If it is this kind of case, where it was forced by religion and parents not due to a fight or argument or cheating, then is it possible to be friends? I heard it is unlikely, people say, for ex to be friends, but as our situation for breaking up is a bit different I was just wondering if we can, from his side too, given the muslim case and all?

      2. Thanks for your reply:) If the reason was forced by religious reasons and parents and not by a fight or argument or cheating, then is it possible to be friends? I hear, people say, it is unlikely for ex to become friends, but what if it’s this type of situation, how would it be?

  13. My ex and I were getting along great. We were friends for about a month but spoke on the phone every day for that month from 3-6 hours at a time. We were separated by a few sates (about 4hours away) so we could not see each other often. He was also finishing his PhD and didn’t have a lot of time. But, he would call me a few times a week and tell me how he couldn’t stop thinking about me and how no other girl compared. He started talking about our future whether I would want to stay in the country (I am currently teaching abroad) or go home. 4 months in he calls me and says he is concerned that our relationship isn’t progressing as fast as he likes and that there is a girl where he is that is constantly pestering him and telling him the long distance relationship isn’t real and he should date her. I am hot headed in the situation and can’t really comprehend the rest, but he told me that he wanted to live with me. He also mentions that his parents want him to do a sort of arranged marriage meeting, but I don’t focus on that part. I just say we aren’t ready to live together, but I feel strongly about him too. The next month he is MIA because of his thesis and misses Christmas and my birthday. I understood he wasn’t handling the stress well and start to feel like a burden. Finally we speak in January and he asks about being friends and I said we could be civil, but I couldn’t be his friend because of the intensity of our relationship (I already loved him). Anyways, he didn’t want to be friends and it was some sort of test and he asks to see me in February. He puts in some more effort into contact and he visits me in February. Everything went well – he drops hints about babies and marriage but I think he is joking. He makes plans to see me again. 1.5 weeks later I get a call where he tells me how serious his parents are about the arranged marriage meeting and they want him to marry a girl from his culture and that he thinks his parents can’t accept me because I am foreign and black. He tells me I can leave him and says it’s something that’s bothering him for a while. I can’t answer and when he says he has dinner with a friend I just tell him to go. 15min later he calls me back and tells me he wants me to wait until he can save money, so he can run away with me. I don’t know how to answer I told him I love him but this is a huge blow to my pride – why doesn’t he first tell his parents about me and try it before trying to run. I say I will stick with him and see where it goes. The week after that, he is back to teasing me relentlessly and saying I am a stalker for wanting to move to the same town as him. This hurts me and I want to address it so I text him. He doesn’t respond for days and I say let’s just breakup and days later he finally responds and says “sorry for the late reply. let’s break up.” I ask why he was ignoring me and he says he was busy moving and stuff for his new job but 5days straight is too much. Now he won’t respond to any of my messages and has completely disappeared on me. I want closure and to be on good terms with him. It’s what I asked him for – I didn’t even beg for him back – but he doesn’t seem to be reading any of my texts. I am planning not to text him, but I really want that closure. What should I do?

  14. My ex and I dated for 3 years (lived together as well) I broke up with him. I asked for him back a few months after the break up and he said: no, he wants to be single for a few years maybe we can be friends in a few years time. It has been 2 years now since we broke up, he hasn’t dated anyone he’s only had 1 or 2 hook ups. I have dated someone else for a few months. Our mutual friends say he seems fine, but ever since the break up he drinks a lot more than he used to and if my name is brought up, he goes completely quiet or leaves the room, he refuses to talk about me and he seems emotionally closed off in general. At the same time, we haven’t spoken in over a year and I hear from friends that they don’t think he would ever get back together with me. I am struggling to understand why he is showing signs of depression and hurt still if he doesn’t love me? I want him back more than anything but am so afraid of contacting him too soon. Please help! Xx

    1. Hi Jess,
      Thank you for your share. It’s normal to wonder about why your ex isn’t talking to you anymore and that’s it’s strange. I would encourage you to consider reentering his life via the friends route. Let him start to trust you again, you must have really hurt him. It you want more detailed insight, let’s book a session. I can help you.
      Coach N.

  15. My ex of 2 and half months broke up with me in mid December 2016 because he needed to focus on school. I contacted him a few days later telling him that we can actually work things out together if is real reason is school. He said that he needs some time to think about it. That same night, he messaged me back saying that we cannot get back together, that I should respect his decision and to not contact him anymore. I have not heard from him since. Even though it’s almost 6 months since we broke up, but I can’t help myself, I still really miss him. I keep thinking to myself, did our relationship meant nothing to him? Will he ever reach out to me? I’m having a really difficult time of letting go.

    1. Hi Jennifer,
      Thank you for reaching out. With short term relationships, it’s important not to spend too much time apart. If you need help kickstarting some conversation with him, I can help you here. I invite you to book a session with me.
      Wishing you the best,
      Coach N.

  16. Hello!! I was acquaintances with this guy for a year (2015-2016) and we got really close last summer (2016) and then we got together December 2016.
    He broke up with me in April 2017 because I was super stressed from work and school and got bad anxiety about him (and work, and him not working). My anxiety got worse when he broke up with me and I was always blasting him with anxious messages, like Did you really even love me. Why did I lose my virginity to you blah blah.
    It’s been about a month since I seen him and Ive been contacing him a lot less.
    Turns out I have Grave’s Disease, and my anxiety was an underlying symptom.
    As of now, my ex prefers veryyy minimal contact. He tells me to keep him updated on my treatment and appointments. He says his parents ask about me and worry too.

    My ex doesnt know yet that I have Grave’s yet, but he knows I have an issue with my thyroid. He “says” he would like to try us out again once my anxiety is treated (because I keep asking, omg). I asked him if he wants to be with me again and he says he’s just gotta have faith.
    My anxiety is supposed to lessen over a period of one month from now.

    I want him back so bad. He says (through email) he feels I pressure him at times, and sometimes he’s uncomfortable contacting me (I always ask him when would be a good time to get back together or even chat *damn anxiety!!*).
    We’ve been broken up almost two months. We were only together 4 months. During this year, stress aggrivated my condition and anxiety. Him and I thought it was just anxiety but it’s my thyroid, anxiety was just a symptom.
    We have this agreement that I message him and sometimes he doesnt feel like talking, he just be honest. (Right now he doesnt want contact for a “couple days).
    I want him back desperately, but Im not sure he wants me now that I have a real illness. It sucks honeslty. Im 25 years-old he’s 24. He was my first everything which makes things harder for me too. I was his real girlfriend too. I guess he’s had online girlfriends but idk.
    I dont want anyone else xc idk if he’s over me completely

    1. Hi Tina!

      Coach Adrian and I are hosting a free webinar on Sunday, June 25th, at 1PM, and it deals with preparing you to begin rekindling with your ex. We dive into how to work on yourself and prepare for the first date after the breakup. I think you’ll gain lots of insight. I hope you join! Here’s the link :


      Coach N

  17. Hi Key!

    Thank you for reaching about and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation – I am confident that this can be turned around, but I”m going to need some more info so I can help. I invite you to schedule a coaching session with Adrian or myself. Please visit this link:

    I sincerely hope to connect with you!


    Coach N

  18. Hi i split up with my boyfriend of two years two years ago, we lived together the whole time we were together and broke up due to arguing he was suffering from anxiety and depression linked to his job and began to act differently. we have been in contact on and off for the last two years since breaking up some me and some him however we wont speak to me when ive reached out to him which he occasionally does and then will reach out to me when he is ready to speak. i love him and want to make things work however i have been waiting for two years , im scared i will never love anyone like i love him, i have someone who would give me the world and calls and texts me every day to ask me for my time etc, i haven’t as much been on a date with him his a childhood friend as i know once i move on with this guy my ex will never come back this might also be the reason he is so cold in my texts at the min as my childhood friend is obvious to everyone in our city that he will do anything to get with me, what if i move on and never love my childhood friend like my ex and i lose him too?

    1. Hi Sophie,
      Thanks for reaching out and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I invite you to schedule a coaching session with me, as I find your situation very fixable, but I’ll need to learn a bit more in order to really help. If you would like to connect with me, please visit this link :
      Wishing you the best today and always,
      Coach N

  19. Hi I’ve been with my husband 15years I’m now 30 and we have 4 children together oldest 11 and youngest 5months we have broke up before but the longest has ever been around 4 weeks this time it’s been 9weeks,

    We never hardley argue but when we do it’s huge and over the same things basically he can do what he likes and I can’t witch I don’t listern to of course, so he goes to work all day then comes in goes and looks after his dogs witch he has kennels and goes with his mates and smokes

    I told him not to come back he was begging me and I was adiment 9weeks ago and now he just ignores me hasn’t seen the baby but has the other children he blocked me on Facebook but new I was at a wedding at the weekend and he unblocked me to see what I was doing

    It’s my 2nd wedding anniversary today so I went down to his garage and tried to have it out with him he shut the doors got in the car and drove away and said find some other mug

    I don’t no what to do I love him so much it’s the only boyfriend I ever had and my poor kids love there dad he is the best dad when I am with him and soon as I argue he just don’t want to no I’m afraid if I just get on with it and pretend I don’t care he will just forget about me 🙁

    I don’t have any family apart from him I do have good friends but it’s not the same is it? Will it ever get any easier

    1. Hi Ceee,
      I’m really sorry to hear about your current situation. I invite you to consider really taking some time for yourself. You or it to yourself and your family to take a breather and to assess. If you need a helping hand, you know where to find us.
      Coach N.

  20. Hello, I have just found this post.. I hope someone has got an advice for me who’s been single for 5 years now, because of my bad experience with my ex bf back then.
    I knew a friend for a while now and he told me three days ago that he likes me.. so he wants to get to know me better but we were in no relationship! He messaged me the whole time and was really sweet to me but yesterday I saw on his Instagram that he’s following one girl who’s posting nudes and he also likes her recent pictures.. so I was mad at him and told him it’s wrong. He told me that he doesn’t know this girl and it’s a misunderstanding. I saw under one of her nude pictures that he wrote 7weeks ago “I am going crazy.”. We’re not a couple yet but we wanted to be in a serious relationship and thought about marriage.. yesterday his last message was that he’s upset and sad because I won’t listen to him but there’s nothing to explain. I know what I saw and why is he still denying that? Today I messaged him that we should remain friends and I’m sorry about yesterday since we’re not a couple yet. Then suddenly he wrote off topic that he is heartbroken and he can’t think of me more. He told me that he doesn’t wants to talk to me, because he might cry in the train (well I don’t believe that). Then I messaged him why he suggests? “Should we talk later or should we block each other forever?” Then he said he doesn’t know yet but he doesn’t wants to have contact to me right now. I told him to talk to me later after he wants.. after that there was no response.. I don’t think there is hope. He will forget me with time and not message at all.. cuz he wouldn’t like to talk about this issue again..

    I don’t know what to do.. I really don’t like it when he follows this girl and also likes her naked body pictures (now he is following one more girl). Do you think I’m overreacting? I don’t know what I should do. Maybe sending a voice message that I am really hurt and still like him.. Or should I just move on and don’t do anything at all?
    I am really hurt but he gives me the feeling that he’s the only one hurt and I don’t get why he is hurt?

    I am sorry.. this might sound silly to some people but I’m really serious about this topic and don’t know what to do. I am 22 years old and until now I had just one boyfriend and he did the same what the current guy is doing.. my ex also met those girls behind my back.

    Thank you again..

    1. Hi Sarie,
      Thanks for reaching out – I feel it’s important to reflect on the fact that you two weren’t in a relationship yet, and so his actions shouldn’t reflect his commitment. If you two had been in a relationship, then you would have the right to be upset. What you may be more frustrated about is those elements of his character and that he may not be the man you felt he was.
      Coach N.

  21. Hi Darryl,
    Thanks for reaching out – and I’m sorry to hear about this current situation. I know that this is really really tough. I feel like you should really give her space, let her heal. Also, spend time identifying why cheating manifested in the first place. What drove that into reality?

    1. Hi Natalie,
      Thanks for responding so quickly. I was having stress from my job, and workING very long hours but kept this stress to myself because I didn’t want to concern her with it. what happened at home was I became non communicative. She has a busy job at the local college and was kept busy in her spare time with her brothers twin babies, so i didnt want to burden her with this too. Id just come home, make small talk for a short while, then go into my own wold until it was time for bed.. Wish I’d have just sat down with her and shared my problems because I know we could have worked things out with her but I didn’t, Instead I confided in a friends sister who I had the affair with. I was unhappy in our relationship because of the time we spent apart when we had free time. We shared everything in the early years but thI’d became less a’s tge years wenter on.. She had always said we could talk about anything, but at this particular time I just didn’t. Maybe I took her too much for granted and expected her to always be there for mem no matter what!

      1. Hi Darryl,
        Thanks for the additional information. I invite you to schedule a coaching session with me so we can discuss in detail!
        Coach Natalie

  22. Hi Aida,

    If he’s not opening your email, it’s likely because he’s very hurt and doesn’t believe what it says. Try giving him a lot of time. Don’t rush this process – that’s what makes all the difference.



  23. I think you guys should made a video on “what if your ex says they don’t want to be in your presence anymore and want space and also don’t see you on that level anymore.” And another one about what if a ex says “let me go and live your life to the fullest” because they don’t see you too getting together right now but the future like years down the line. Why would they say that? So you won’t try to pursue. Do ex’s say certain words to keep you at bay so you won’t try to come back for a while?

  24. Hi,
    My ex and I were best friends and developed feelings for each other a month before he went to the army for 2 years. After he left, we decided to end things and see where fate would lead us. During the 2 years I dated his friend and he was aware of it. We still talked and I sent him gifts and letters and met with him every time I visited his country. I ended up breaking up with his friend and my ex came back to America and the two of us dated. We dated for 2 months after constant fighting and I initiated the break up but it was mutual. He has never had a serious relationship before and he wanted a serious relationship with me because I was different from the rest and I know this was true through his actions. However, he did not like the fact I dated his friend because he was reminded by it constantly and the two of us had trust issues. Because we were so close of friends and shared everything together including family, he asked to be friends and didn’t want to lose me and the memories we had but I refused. After one week of no contact, I reached out and accepted to be friends. We work together for 3-4 days a week. When we meet, we still fight lightly. He asks why I am rude to him but he is equally rude to me and he shows some jealousy and at the same time always replies he wants to be close friends like how we used to be. I do not know why we argue every time we meet and why he feels so defended by my actions. I do not see much difference on my action of how I acted back then and now. Recently, he told my friend he has a new girl he is talking to and wants to distance himself from me but told my friend not to tell me about his decision. I am confused but I do not want to lose him as a person as a whole. I miss the times we had together as friends and I also want to date him again because our relationship was so short and I was the one who initiated breakup. He doesn’t seem he wants to be in a relationship. I am desperate for an answer 🙁 Is all hope lost? How should I act to his decision? Please give me advice

    1. Hi Jamie,
      Thanks for reaching out – I’m sorry to hear about this situation. For now, give the relationship some space. Let him miss you for a bit. If you pursue him, it’ll only frustrate him and push him further away. I invite you to consider scheduling a session with Adrian or myself. We’re here to help.

      1. Thank you for replying coach Natalie. He seems to still be angry with me. When he speaks to me he seems fine but when he speaks to his friends about me when he sees me at a bar, he says things like “look at her talking with all those people. She just doesn’t know her limits and I don’t like that.” I am not sure if he is really angry and is pushing me away or if he is hurt or if he is just wanting to end things completely and not even be friends anymore.

  25. Hello Anisha, I would suggest to do some self-reflection on why you cannot get over him and what would make Anisha happy again. I would also suggest you commit to the no contact rule and work on yourself. Please feel free to schedule a coaching session.


    WMEA Team

  26. So I’m a foreigner living in China,a so me and ex were just freinds for a short while then we hooked up together, I fell in love with her even before that, our relationship didn’t last for long, a month, we had alot of fights then we break up, some big ones including kicking me out of her house after we break up, so I waited for a month I was busy with my exams and I wanted to give her some space, but when I tried to see her again she was already with a new bf and I freaked out, we had another fight, then she told me that we can’t be freinds and I freaked out again and kinda insulted her and her bf after that she blocked me on social media and kept texting her on her phone how much I miss her and if we could just keep it as freinds but she never replied , to be honest I was needy and annoying! now she’s been with him for almost 4 months, I still miss her, and get her out of my mind what should I do? All I want now is us being friends she’s a really good girl, and if I can’t get her back as a gf, I’d love to keep her as a freind

    1. Hello Yousef,
      In this situation you are going to have to focus on your personal growth and yourself until your ex comes around. If you try reaching out it will not sit right with her as we suggest for you to be patient and invest this time with how you can show change when you guys run into each other or when she unblocks you from social media.
      WMEA Team

  27. Hello Fehrina,
    I am sorry to hear this and I know it can be incredibly difficult since you have a child together and you love him. Right now I would give him space and let him figure things out. Also, its important that you create a sense of boundaries around what you want from him and continue to show this. Be strong during this process. If you need any personalized advice, please feel free to reach out to me.
    WMEA Team

  28. My concern is not that I want to get back with the guy. We were only emotionally involved (no sex) to begin with. But we are in the same organization, and we were definitely friends, writing to each other anywhere from 5 to 30 times a day or more depending on what was happening. He got mad, and I got mad, and he would like me to give up my independence and just do whatever the heck he wants me to do. While that is NEVER going to happen, we work together, or should, regarding the organization we lead. These days he will write me a group email and let me know something I would ordinarily have input on–like when a speaker backs out for an upcoming meeting–but then when I write back and make a suggestion, he ignores my email. Keep in mind I only email him if it is pertinent to the group, and if he emails me first. I don’t want to step down, and I won’t let him force me to do that, but he is pissing me off.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *