How do you get your things from your ex’s place while making a good impression? How do you control your emotions and to not come undone? Should you go get your belongings or wait for your ex to get in touch first?
It’s never easy knowing how to act with your ex after the breakup. More often that not, you share some things and it’s the last thing that ties you together. A fear of losing them forever is ever-present so you have the tendency to wait before you go pick up your stuff. You’re thinking that this is the best way to make sure they don’t forget about you and that you stay present in their mind.
Getting back together requires that you prove that your attitude and state of mind have improved. If you want to show your ex that you’ve changed, you have to go get your things and unveil your improvements.
There are specific rules for a successful “tête à tête,” for reestablishing dialogue is communication had been severed, and for making your ex want to see you again afterwards. Don’t ever think that picking up your clothes, pictures, or whatever it may be signifies the last time you’ll ever be in contact with your ex. You can always get in touch after, but it will be a little more delicate. In any case it’s pointless to put pressure on yourself. Throughout this article I will explain to you why it’s a good thing to pick up your stuff from your ex, and the best way to handle the moment with all the negative emotions that will surface. Don’t hesitate to share your stories in the comments below, and I would more than happy to personally help guide you.
Should I pick up my stuff from my ex? Yes so you can stop thinking about the past!
As I mentioned in the introduction, you’re keeping this last tie between you because you’re hoping that your ex doesn’t forget you but when you’re trying to get back together, it’s imperative that you never anchor yourself in the past.
This means that you have to forget about the separation and the way the relationship was before so that you can create a new affinity with your ex that will help you to seduce them again. Keep in mind that the more you hold on to your habits from the past (fearing losing your significant other for good, your desire to restart the same exact relationship,) the less your ex will want to be with you.
The last step is therefore to pick up your things and bring the relationship to close so that you can begin a new chapter. You have to show your ex the changes you’ve made thanks to the rules of meeting up face to face that I recommend in my eBook but also by accepting the breakup and showing them that you’ve been able to bounce back.
Your ex doesn’t need your things to make them think about you. They can miss you at any moment; even after you’ve picked up all your belongings because the they’ll feel that they’ve lost you for good. Your ex has to feel like they’ve completely lost you in order to realize that your relationship wasn’t so bad and that even if you should have made some efforts and changed some things, you weren’t a bad partner. Sometimes after having been with a person for a long time, things tend to be amplified. A breakup brings order back and the person who made the decision to separate can start feeling regret.
How to make a good impression when you’re picking up your belongings?
Seeing your ex again is never easy, especially when it’s because you have to pick up your stuff. It often becomes a step that feels insurmountable and you end up making a lot of mistakes. Your feelings will resurface and you’ll want to tell them everything you feel and that all you want to do is to be together again. Oftentimes all the efforts you had made over the last few weeks and all your resolutions disappear into thin air the moment you’re face to face with your ex again.
However, just like as if you were organizing a classic rendezvous with your ex, there are certain rules you’re going to have to follow.
1/The ideal state of mind when you see your ex again
You have to smile and avoid overplaying the “dramatic” element of the situation. Your goal is to show that you’ve accepted the breakup and that you’re letting go. You’re enjoying life and you’re no longer making the same mistakes you were making in the past. It’s imperative that your ex sees that you have a new mind frame.
2/Showing yourself in the best light when you pick up your things from your ex’s house
You have to look great, but be careful not to overdo it. Don’t wear something inappropriate, especially you ladies, but you have to pay attention to every detail. Contrary to what people might think, this is not the moment to show up wearing something their ex loved. It’s better to come wearing something new that shows off your best features, because this will showcase your new desire to make your life even better.
You have to be positive and you should be smiling! Try listening to music to give you a little boost just before you see them (no sad songs!) and visualize your ex as a good friend. The goal is to forget about your desire to get back together so that you can show them what they’re losing!
3/What can you talk about with your ex?
It’s not always easy to know how to act when you have to pick up your things from your ex’s place. So a good way to converse is to ask your ex about their daily life these days, what they have enjoyed doing and to bring up all the new things you’ve started doing in your life.
The more you’ll be able to remain neutral and the more you’re going to show your new state of mind, the more your ex will notice. I know I’m harping but it’s imperative that you don’t overdramatize the situation and you really have to stay natural.
How to get in touch with your ex again after you’ve picked up your things?
First of all, don’t ask your ex, “Will be see each other again?” or “Will you give me another chance?” Set your emotions to the side and don’t unveil your intentions of getting back together.
To get back in touch with your ex after you’ve picked up your things I suggest focusing on the changes you told them about. You must stay focused on the positive and to communicate with your ex as if they were a friend.
For example you could ask them about how their project at work is developing, if the pet you share is doing well, if they had gone to the more recent gallery opening or their favorite artist’s concert etc…
By talking about current things you’ll be able to regain control of the situation and to reestablish a comfortable dialogue.
Don’t worry too much and let your ex make some advancements towards you as well!
Getting your stuff back from your ex is never very easy because the goal is to make your ex feel somewhat uncertain and to make them develop a desire to make steps towards you. Be careful to control your emotions and to always look to the future so that your ex will be more likely to communicate with you in the best possible way.
The face to face meeting will allow for emotions to resurface, so by taking your time, little by little, you’ll make them begin wanting you again.
I truly wish you the best.
Adrian, your love coach for getting back together with your ex