She doesn’t love me anymore so what should I do?

she doesn't love me anymoreSometimes a breakup isn’t the easiest decision to accept. When the person you love tells you that they have no feelings for you anymore it’s an awful sensation that floods your heart. You feel like you’ve failed, like you’ve wasted your time, but the worst part is that you question the sincerity of your ex’s feelings for you while you were together.

Questions naturally rise up like, did she ever really love me? Did my ex just play me? How could their feelings for me just disappear? You question everything when you realize that your ex no longer feels anything for you.

You’re reading these lines right now because you want to find solutions. You can’t stay in this situation…your love for her still burns strong and you want her to feel the same way again.

You want help in putting things in perspective regarding the relationship and rest assured, nothing is impossible in love but you have to use the right techniques. You’ve shared something special which means that you can still rekindle the flame.

That said, if you want to do this you shouldn’t just revel in sadness thinking, “she doesn’t love me anymore,” or, “I don’t have a chance with her anymore.” There’s a certain state of mind that you’re going to have to adopt.

If you want to spark the same feelings that you had at the beginning of your relationship you’re going to have to understand the reasons behind your current situations and this will in turn help you to design the ideal plan of action.

Why doesn’t she love me anymore?

As a general rule, “Why?” is usually the first thing you start wondering.

You don’t understand how the person that you were sharing your life with; the person that was saying, “I love you,” just a few weeks ago can now tell you that they no longer feel the same way. She’s telling you that she’s not feeling love for you but rather just affection. Doubt and questions aren’t helping you move on from this situation. Everyone needs answers especially when you’re confronted with a breakup.

If you’re familiar with my Love coaching philosophy, you know that my method always begins with an analysis phase and that’s exactly what you have to start working on. When you want to fix a negative situation, you have to know the cause. In love nothing happens by accident so if your partner tells you that the love they felt for you has dwindled, it means that your relationship had already been having issues.

Oftentimes when people come to see me with this problem, they realize that their life together had just become routine. You had your habits, you weren’t continuing to seduce your partner, and you were thinking you had her in your pocket. You’re now paying the price. It’s imperative that you don’t think that a person’s love for you is eternal if you don’t do anything to maintain it. When you stop making them feel special, their emotions diminish.

Sometimes you’re not solely responsible for this situation but you still suffer the consequences. If your partner has met someone new at work or somewhere else, their emotions could be shaken up. If she’s interested in someone new she could be in the seduction phase and therefore could be questioning everything right now.

In this situation, saying, “She doesn’t love me” anymore isn’t the best option simply because even though she might be feeling something for someone else, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she no longer feels anything for you.

She doesn’t love me anymore so how can I revive my ex’s feelings?

Your main focus right now is making her fall back in love with you but you shouldn’t just let time do the work for you, thinking that she’ll figure out that she loves you on her own. Of course you have to take the initiative to make sure that this awful situation end as quickly as possible. I am definitely not telling you to rush things, but you shouldn’t waste time and you especially shouldn’t make mistakes that will make things worse.

As I explained, when a woman’s feelings start to disappear little by little, it’s usually because the relationship was becoming stagnant or because there was a recurring problem. You have to make the relationship evolve if you want to prove to her that it can be better. Routine should never control your lives. Some couples haven’t gone to the movies together in years, others rarely ever go out to eat, and some have no projects planned for their future. There is nothing worse that this.

It’s important that you show your ex that you can build more than just memories together; that your future together could be incredible. Children, marriage, trips, activities together… incidentally you should never wait for the breakup before you start thinking about these things.

You can do the simplest things that turn into special moments – you can go take a romantic walk together instead of staying locked up at home, you could go to the zoo with the family, the idea to look for a new apartment together, designing new decor for your current place… All of these things can help you avoid a situation like this.

Keeping the romance alive doesn’t mean that you have to plan extravagant dates every day. Regular, sincere and simple gestures would be sufficient. The golden is show your improvements and these kinds of actions are perfect for this!

What does my ex want: The biggest question!

In come cases, you think that it’s about a lack of love, but it reality it could be something totally different. You shouldn’t immediately imagine the worst. Thinking that she doesn’t love you anymore isn’t the explanation as to why there might be tension that’s damaging the relationship. Sometimes outside factors could upset a relationship and you unfortunately have to suffer the consequences.

Some examples of this is when the in-laws are a little too present, when there’s a problem at work, when you lose a child or have an abortion… All of these reasons can spark a change in someone’s state of mind and there are inevitable consequences in the relationship.

In any case, you shouldn’t panic and question your entire relationship or the sincerity of your significant other. You do however have to take these elements into consideration when you design the proper strategy and figure out what needs to change in your behavior.

Many men that have been frightened by the breakup tend to be pessimistic. This is why I am once again insisting on the importance of understanding the situation. So you have to ask yourself the right questions that will enable you to design the perfect plan of action when you want to rekindle her feelings for you.

This is also essential so that you don’t just become your ex’s friend. You have to do whatever you can to stay out of the friend-zone and to keep up some form of seduction that will make her return to your arms.



Coach when your ex girlfriend doesn’t love you anymore

  • John Mars Weaver

    So men have to continue to make the women feel special but the women don’t have to make the men feel runs out so the love stops after five’s always about the money

  • Coach natalie

    Hi Keira,
    You’ve made some very valid points, here. However, our methods aren’t about tricking an ex to get back together. Our methods are to help a person evolve into the person they need to be for their ex’s (and for themselves) to desire to be with them longterm. We’re in the business of rebuilding relationships by discarding the previous foundation for a newer, stronger one. If we build a relationship atop a house of cards, it’s only a matter of time before it collapses again.
    I hope this helps and I appreciate your insight.
    Coach Natalie

  • Joshua Myers

    Mine was a 4 year long LDR I am in Arkansas and she was in Texas. but we fit so well together and we visited each other often which was usually once a month. She was my best friend and I was her first everything. I never had the kind of love and connection with someone that I had with her. We were both 28 and shared a birthday within the same week. We did go on a “break” in 2014 but it was resolved in 6 months and we got back together and everything seemed fine. Long story short, three weeks ago me and my father were on a road trip to San Antonio to visit my Grandmother for her 96th birthday and we get into a car accident and the car got totaled in Dallas. My now ex was in Fort Worth. We were stuck at a gas station with our luggage after the car got hauled off and my dad nearly gets mugged. I then call and tell my girlfriend what happened to us and she offers to help to come over and take us to a rental car facility as she was all we knew who were available to help us in the area. We did offer to pay for gas but she turned it down. Anyways, we get to a rental car facility and while my father was signing the paperwork my girlfriend dumps me right there in her car. Various quotes from her was that she felt nothing one way or the other and was saying I no longer come to mind when she wants to spend time with someone and she didn’t want to hurt me any longer. (she canceled a visit the month prior and claimed she was too busy which left me pretty sad since we had not seen each other since July) She also brought up random stuff about our past issues and said I give her anxiety and also made a random comment accusing me of expecting her to support me which did not make any sense to me. Yes I had been going thru a hardship for a couple months prior to this but never asked for money or anything. She also said she could no longer envision a future together. Didn’t even say goodbye or check in on me or my father afterward as we concluded our trip to San Antonio and then back home in a rental car. I was shocked and devastated and it really was salt in the wounds considering what just happened to us with my parents car getting totaled that same night. About a week later she even blocked me and my entire family on Facebook after I messaged her demanding answers but I was also trying to be loving and supportive to her situation which I will get to in a minute. The actual comment that made her block me was: “Good Morning! Have a great day! I love you! Just please do not throw away what we shared together over these 4 years.” Then later that night when I saw she blocked everyone I called her demanding to know what was going on and I was pretty intense with her about it. She simply said in a very neutral tone: “I simply don’t want to be with you anymore. Leave me alone because I really do not want to change my phone number.” I said a few regrettable comments and hung up. We have not spoken at all in two weeks. Whats worse is we had just made plans for spending Christmas together and taking a vacation with my parents just two days before the breakup. I was gonna propose to her this month as well. She was very fond of my parents and she was like a daughter to them. We had made plans for getting an apartment together back in August and having me move down there next year. We were talking about being together forever and marriage. I have never felt so angry and betrayed in my life. She is Asian and had to move back in with her family earlier this year and she had mentioned there was a lot of family drama going on including her telling me that I was not welcome over there anymore after I visited her for our 4 year anniversary back in July for whatever reason she does claimed to not know. I know enough about asian culture from dating her long enough to know how they put family and career first before anything else. Now one thing I do need to point out is she is extremely career focused and driven and she was about to get her Masters Degree while working two jobs in the IT field. She is very bad about over exerting herself. I kinda got the vibe that me having a hard time getting a job for two months played a strong role in her building some kind of hidden resentment towards me. I honestly had no clue she was gonna cut me loose and completely go cold and disappear out of my life. I had just started two jobs the week following the breakup. I never got to tell her that, sadly. Could it simply be the extreme stress she is enduring on all fronts and my crisis that night triggered something to make her go cold turkey on me? We had a very harmonious relationship overall. Its been three weeks tonight and I am still so shocked and confused. I dunno what to do as I truly felt she was my soulmate and she got replaced by someone I don’t know. This has left me feeling so sick and hopeless. Will I have to give up on this situation after all we been through? Overall we had a really good relationship and we both looked at each other as our best friend. Now its like I am dead to her. I am at a loss.

    • Coach natalie

      Thank you for sharing your story. I know how painful of a situation you must be in right now. I understand that there may be nothing worse than feeling like she doesn’t love you anymore and you feel stuck wondering what to do. There is not simple solution here, but I will say there’s hope. You need to identify the root causes on what made the relationship go south and determine solutions for them. I am working with several people facing very similar issues to your at this time, and I would be more than willing to help you. I invite you to please book a session:
      Wishing you the very best.
      Coach Natalie

  • Matthew henry

    I’m in a pretty rough position right now and I need some advice I have been with my girlfriend for about 4 1/2 years we have been engaged since last June and we just had a beautiful baby girl 7 months ago. We have had our ups and downs but I love her so much and I want to be with her the rest of my life. Well a week or so ago she told me she doesn’t know what wrong with her but she’s feeling different she said she doesn’t know if she’s in love with me anymore and she doesn’t know if she wants to be with me anymore. I was shocked when she told me this I mean I was struggling as wel because I could tell a difference in her. However the last few months things at her job have gotten very stressful Christmas hisbyear has been tough finicially and we haven’t really spent much alone time together. Well she wants to see a counselor and try and figure out what’s wrong but in the same breath she doesn’t know what she want and I’m so hurt and confused by this because Idk what I should do and I just need some advice. Anyone that can help it would be much appreciated thank you

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Matt,
      Thank you for your share. I’m so sorry to hear about your current situation, and I know it’s the hardest thing when you’re stuck questioning whether or not your ex loves you and what to do about it. I encourage you to really focus on the underlying issues in your relationship. Identifying and implementing solutions to these are going to be what salvages your relationship. If you need any help, please feel free to reach out to Adrian or myself to set up a session. We’re here to support you.
      Coach N.


    I have been rejected for 5 years i guess this ex recovery plan doesn’t work for me. Im finally accepting my reality and trying to keep a minimum amount of Dignity.

  • Gustabo

    I always treated her right and everything the only bad thing is that its a distant relationship she told me that she love me too but after everything she started to fade away. I on ther other hand was still in love with her i notice things was changing but im still trying to get her back. No where cleared things up and everything she said that she stills loves me but just not as before. When i told her that i still lover the same way and most likely even more. I know i messed en some occasions but i still need her and want to keep talking as before. So may question is will she ever love me the same way before ? Knowing that i still love her and want to fix things? What do i do know?

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Gustabo,
      Thank you for your share. When we’re wondering whether our ex loves us anymore, it can be a really painful time. Without knowing more about your relationship, I can’t assess too much, but I think that you need to delve into the intricacies of the relationship. Did she feel neglected? Were you too needy? When you can develop an understanding as to what happened in the relationship, you can start to fix it.
      I really hope this helps,
      Coach N.

  • Blaine

    Hi Natalie,
    I am 17 years old and feel like my recent break up is something so hard for me to handle lately and I don’t know how to even go about it. I have never felt so low in my life, and everyone says the same things to me, and no matter what it is or who they are it doesn’t not make a difference. Doing anything to keep me “busy” doesn’t even seem to help because I think about her non stop. I went and talked to a therapist for the first time in my life recently, and even that I feel walking out that it didn’t have the biggest helps, and I know it can’t just magically fix everything talking to a therapist, but it seriously seemed like just talking with anyone else. My ex and I started messaging in February of 2014, dating in May of 2014, and broke up at the end of November of 2016. We had never really talked much to any other opposite sex people outside of our relationship because we never wanted it being an issue with us. In November, I decided to follow girls on social medias that I knew, thinking it wouldn’t be the biggest of deals because we could trust each other and everything. She became very upset about it and we had arguments about it numerous times down the road. There was one specific girl that would like everything of mine, literally everything, and my ex became aware of this and started to question me. We argued on the night of thanksgiving after I got a message from her out of the random that said happy thanksgiving. After that night, my girlfriend was mad at me, and questioned the girl that night. Prior to that day on thanksgiving, his same girl was brought up in one of our arguments. My ex asked me I had ever talked to her numerous times and I said no. After that argument, I went and messaged the girl an apology sort of for my girlfriend because she is the jealous type, and we had almost broke up because of her and I pretty much gave her the whole rundown. So back to thanksgiving night when she became mad, she went and asked the girl if we had ever talked and she sends my ex the picture of my apology and she sees it and brings all my stuff to my house and breaks up with me. I never had cheated, lied, or done anything in our relationship to intentionally hurt her before this ever. I made a mistake, and never should have done what I did in the first place. So my ex now is talking to another guy with the first month of our break up after being together for so long. There’s no way I could pull myself around to liking or being with another girl no matter what people tell me. And I don’t doubt still that we can’t ever get back together, but I’m so stuck with everything and what to even do anymore. This is the hardest thing I have ever gone through, and I have classes at college starting with her tomorrow, and two of our three are the same. I don’t know how to handle that situation either in person, (leave her alone, or just say hi or whatever) I love her with everything and always have and will. As time has gone on it gets harder and harder for me and at first, I kept on trying to txt and talk or do anything to communicate with her, cried to her, everything. Not in hope it would help but because I don’t know what else to do. I have left her completely alone now for a couple of weeks, but it’s so hard for me everyday. I find myself checking on her to with social media and she seems like she is happy and I honestly don’t know how she makes it seem or look so easy.

  • Robert

    Maybe part of the problem also is that she has been talking to somebody else..fb..whatever & they are feeding her with everything that she wants to hear & she starts to question things and thinks everything they said she hasnt heard in a while..well when it comes to that you have to show her that your still the man she fell in love with & you still love her just as much as when you first set eyes on her

  • Rich Bailey

    Sounds kinda like my situation