The woman you love, the woman you want to be with, the woman who you feel is your soul mate, has left you to get back together with her ex. Ouch. The fact of the matter, and though this is a hard pill to swallow, is that she chose another man over you and we need to figure out why.
This isn’t going to be a pleasant thing to read, but it is going to supply you with the tools you need to get her out of his arms and back into yours! I’m not going to sugar coat it, this is a tough one, but rest assured that it IS possible to get her back. If you’re thinking, “She left me for her ex and I want to know how to make her choose me,” you’re in the right place. You’re going to have to ask yourself some tough questions, but I’m going to guide you through it.
I know that you’re probably feeling insecure, frustrated, and confused right now, but we are going to have to set all of these emotions aside right now so that we can zero in on what’s going on here. We need to pinpoint what made her choose her ex over you, even if she said you were a “great guy…”
How come she left me for her ex?!
The fact of the matter is that your ex felt like something was lacking in your relationship that she could find in her relationship with her ex.
Perhaps she felt like she wasn’t being appreciated enough, or perhaps she felt like she was getting too much attention from you. Some people can feel suffocated and need a different balance in their relationships. If she was feeling unappreciated by you, it means that you may not have been expressing your gratitude for her as much as she would have liked. She knows what it was like to be in a relationship with her ex, and maybe she knew that he would be able to make her feel the way she wanted to feel.
Another reason why people might wind up thinking, “My girlfriend went back to her ex,” is that she didn’t feel supported enough. We all have busy lives with all kinds of things going on, and we do sometimes neglect our partners. She may have opened up to you about how she was feeling, but it’s also possible that she didn’t – especially if she knew that she could go back to her ex and he would support her the way she needs to be supported.
I recently worked with a client who told me, “While we were together, I remember wondering, ‘Is my girlfriend over her ex?’ It felt like they had unfinished business or something and whenever she talked about him she would get weird.” I asked him to elaborate on what he meant by that.
“She would look down and try to change the subject, or tell me things like, ‘He’s a really good guy.’ It made me feel like she missed him, and then one day she broke up with me. We were together for maybe like a month and a half or two and I was really falling for her, but I later found out that my girlfriend went back to her ex.”
We had a classic case of a rebound relationship, and my client was the rebound. She clearly was not over her ex and she began dating my client in an effort to move on, but she decided that she wanted to be with her ex instead.
Whatever the reason might be, she needs something different. The key to getting her back is to analyze the situation and figure out what exactly she’s looking for. This way, you can zero in on what kind of improvements you will need to start making.
If she’s realized that she wasn’t happy in her relationship with you, it could mean that she felt like she was putting in all the effort. When a girl starts to feel that the relationship is one sided, she’ll start to doubt it. In this situation, she began thinking, “My relationship with my ex wasn’t like this…”
As time went on, that thought solidified into, “I would rather be with my ex.”
So, what can you do about it?
She broke up with me and went back to her ex: What do I do?
The single most important thing right now is going to be to show her that you’ve changed. There is a reason why she chose that relationship over yours, and it is up to you to show her that you can provide her with what she is looking for.
This requires you to do some analysis. Sit down and write down the reasons she gave you for the breakup, but also the reasons she may not have given you. Sometimes people will gloss over certain details because they don’t want to cause more pain than they need to. So you’re going to have to be very honest with yourself. What elements of the relationships dissatisfied her? What elements of your personal life dissatisfied her?
Don’t forget that there is something that she saw in you that attracted her to you, so make sure that you hold on to that and combine it with other, positive changes. It’s ok to turn to your friends and family for some honest advice on the matter. Ask them about what elements you might need to change in order to make this right.
When you’re thinking, “She left me for her ex, will she come back,” keep in mind that changing bad habits and behavioral traits are the perfect way to attract her back, but this can also benefit you down the line in all aspects of your life.
That said, make sure that you aren’t making these changes ONLY because you want your ex back. When that is your mindset, these changes usually only remain surface-level. You want to change in order to improve your life, improve your relationships, and improve your self esteem.
Use this time to really become the best version of yourself. It’s alright if she isn’t really in contact with you right now. (And no, the No Contact Rule is not for you in this situation!) Make sure that you aren’t suffocating her when you’re in touch, but make sure that you are using the power of social media. Post pictures of the life that you’re living now, the trips you’re taking, the time you’re spending at the gym, the new bars and restaurants you’re checking out, the new activities you’re doing, etc.
In other words, make your life look so interesting that she starts to feel like she’s missing out on something. Sulking and begging her to take you back are not going to get you anywhere. You want to inspire her – not make her pity you.
If you have any questions at all, please don’t hesitate to leave your comment in the section below or get in touch with me or anyone in our team of experts right here !
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when she left you for her ex