Are you wondering what to do to amaze the person with whom you used to share your life? How to make him or her want to take you back? Would you like to show the changes and improvements you’ve made even if you have barely any communication or contact left? What are my tips for the people I help to make their ex doubt their decision to leave within just a few days?
I know how badly surprising an ex and making him or her want to rekindle the flame means to you; all you want is to be given another chance. Since 2007, thousands of people that have put their trust in us can attest to the success of their attempts at getting back together with their ex, or to building a healthy friendship with their ex.
Today Alex and I are here for you, and I am ready to guide you every delicate step of the way. I know that each and every single one of my readers has their own, unique story.
I often refer to concepts such as radio silence, the hand-written letter, personal rebuilding, reviving, and also “re-seduction.”
These themes might still be foreign to you, but after reading up on my articles, you’ll become a master of them.
I’ll talk about them briefly in this article, but don’t let that hold you back from diving in and exploring all the other columns you will find on this site!
Why isn’t your ex convinced that you’ve changed?
As I mention each day during multiple coaching sessions, as well as in my articles, completely changing your attitude and becoming the ideal person in your ex’s eyes again is the key to success in making them want you back.
So of course it’s often very surprising to realize that your ex is sometimes the last person to notice you’ve changed. You’re wondering why they doubt your ability to stick to these changes.
The answer to these two questions is relatively straight forward, but you’re in the thick of it so it’s hard to see clearly. In fact you’re so preoccupied with what the person you used to share your life with thinks, that it’s blinding you from seeing the obvious.
Rest assured, you’re not the only person who is in this situation, and I know your emotions have taken the wheel right now. The fact of the matter is that your ex is simply scared that it’s all a show.
He or she isn’t convinced that the changes you’re making are lasting ones, and that you’re not just doing it to make him or her want to take you back. Your ex is worried that once you’re back together, all of these changes will disappear into thin air, and you’ll be right back where you started.
To simplify it even further, here’s what your ex is thinking: “You’re making all these efforts to get me back, but if we get back together, everything will be just the way it was before, just the way I didn’t like, because you’ve already made me empty promises. I am not going to go through that again.”
However surprising an ex just a few days after a breakup and showing a radical change in your attitude is possible. This is why I’m asking you to NEVER show your ex that you’re trying to convince them to take you back. Unveil your improvements gently and in a timely fashion, and don’t just do it for them, do it for YOU!
For example, if you had a tendency to be jealous, if you want to really reassure your ex and convince them that you’re capable of change, it’s imperative that you explain to him or her how deeply you understand where you went wrong. You tell your ex that your jealousy not only ruined your relationship, but it had a serious effect on your life in general as well.
This way you are showing how thoroughly you’ve analyzed your short comings.
By being this clear with your ex, you’ll be fully able to unveil your new attitude, and you’ll also prove that you’re not only changing for the sake of getting back together. You’re doing it to improve your life as a whole.
Surprising an ex implies not taking it too far!
You need to reassure your ex-partner, and that is exactly why I’m going to advise you to not go too far. If you want your ex back, you’ll have to keep your feet on the ground and follow a few rules:
– Never make false promises.
– Never make a change that might be temporary.
– Don’t make brash decisions.
– Don’t try to do everything at once and then give up after a few days.
You have to be aware of the importance of not over-doing the actions needed to get back together with the one you still love, proving that you’re a new person. Your main objective is to place pressure on your ex’s shoulders and to make them mull over something essential: your new, solid attitude.
Don’t forget that it’s of utmost importance that you don’t put your ex on a pedestal. When you get back together, the relationship has to be balanced. This is something that is often lost once people have made mistakes, but if you carefully recreate this balance, you can start the re-seduction phase.
Surprising an ex is possible, but one must keep things simple!
How many days do you need to turn around with an ex?
A lot of people ask me this question: “ Adrian, how can I show my ex how much I’ve changed if they refuse to see me?” When looking to shift the balance of power my answer is always the same; In each attempt at making your ex want to come back, there will always be moments and opportunities in which your ex will allow for communication.
They might even allow seeing each other face to face. You will have to take full advantage of these situations!
In conclusion, if you really do make changes (and stick to them!) your ex will have inevitably see a difference. In order to do this, make sure you never “provoke” your ex. Take the time to make the person you still love want to pay attention to you on their own accord, and when they do, they’ll see how much you’ve improved.
If you want to surprise your ex but you haven’t really changed your view of the relationship, all you’re doing is giving them total control. I think it goes without saying that this will not be beneficial for your attempt at getting back together.
We want exactly the opposite! In order to be able to better explain this to you, I suggest you make an appointment for a private coaching session with me as soon as possible.
You’ll realize that your ex will be surprised to see such a quick change, and this will either facilitate communication, or will enable you to meet face to face and start getting closer and closer to success!
I wish you all the best.