When you’re working on getting an ex back, you’re hungry for those signs your ex may return to you. Sometimes it’s very hard to tell what’s going on in an ex’s mind, especially when they are private people that don’t share much… In my experience as an expert specialized in love and relationships, I have noticed various indicators that serve as signs your ex will eventually come back. Each situation is of course entirely unique, but there are some universal signs to keep an eye out for that might mean that your ex is trying to get closer to you.
Many relationships end in huge fights that are enough to make two people never want to be together again, but that isn’t the case for everyone. Truth be told, a breakup can actually serve as a catalyst for making a relationship between two people that love each other better and stronger than ever before. It can serve as a tool that highlights how deeply you actually care for one another, but also what needs to change. The fear of losing the person you love forever can be the electroshock needed to catapult you down the right road to restoring a relationship that will withstand the test of time!
I wanted to write this article today to give you some insight into what to look for when you’re wondering how to tell if your ex is thinking about coming back to you!
Will your ex come back? Why won’t they just tell you if they want to?
I was speaking with one of my clients, Ashley, who has been working on getting back together with her ex. She has a gut feeling that her ex boyfriend is starting to come back and might even want her back already. Great news, right?
It absolutely is. The only thing is that she’s wondering why her ex won’t just flat out tell her that he wants to be together if that’s the case. Wouldn’t it save so much time and energy? It’s true, it would make things a lot easier, but there are many reasons that can lead a person to keep their feelings for themselves when they’re starting to consider asking an ex to give things another try. Some of the most common ones are the following:
Pride
If your ex is the one that pulled the plug on the relationship, it is possible that their pride is actually keeping them from asking you to take them back. People don’t like to come “crawling back” and this might be enough for your ex to keep their distance. Don’t let this make you worry though. When a person wants something enough, pride is eventually set aside and logic takes over.
Fear of rejection
Another factor that could make your ex hesitant about coming back is simply the fear of rejection. Nobody likes to feel vulnerable – so you might be seeing signs your ex wants to come back before he or she actually tells you they miss you, because they’re still afraid of being turned away.Feeling like you deserve better
An ex might be feeling very guilty about what they’ve put you through, and it might even be enough for them to try and stay away from you. I have one client tell me what she misses her ex but doesn’t dare ask for him back because she knows what kind of heartache she put him through when she left.
She said he deserved so much better and that he shouldn’t have had to go through so much pain. The fact that she was the source of that pain was enough to make her hesitant about trying to get close to him again.
What are the signs your ex will eventually come back?
It may take your ex a while to work through negative emotions and come to the conclusion that they want you back, but when they’ve realized this, you’ll start seeing signs an ex will come back.
But is there a concrete answer to “How to know if your ex will ever come back?” Well, there is no black and white, one size fits all answer to this question. Each and every one of us is unique, which means we all have our own personality traits, our own ways of perceiving the world around us, and our own wants and needs. Every situation is unique, and we cannot know for sure what is going on in your ex’s mind.
Though we can’t read minds, there are various signs that help us to gage what he or she is thinking. Keep in mind that your ex might not even realize that they want you back yet.
That is why it’s so important to actively work on making your ex realize that you’re the one for them… but more on that later! Let’s dive into the signs your ex will eventually come back.
The number one sign they will come back after a breakup…
The biggest indicator is when an ex flat out tells you they miss you and that they think that the breakup was a mistake. You can see that they clearly regret what happened and that they don’t want to be without you. They might be working up to actually asking you to get back together, but if they’ve started showing you how much they regret the fact that things ended, it’s a pretty big sign that they might come back.
Your ex makes an effort to stay close to you
READ THIS : On and off relationship: How to stop breaking up!
A big sign that an ex will come back is when they go out of their way to remain close to you. You notice that they’re making an effort to call and message you, they propose hanging out, and they’re even coming to you for advice about things that they could ask literally anyone else. They’re finding excuses to talk to you and to stay in touch. Your ex might even be proposing things like going to the movies or out for a drink together… Kind of looks like a first date, no?
You sense a lot of nostalgia in your ex
If “Will your ex come back” is the main question in your mind these days, think about whether or not they keep bringing up the past and positive memories to you. After a breakup, we all experience a period when warm memories surge up and outweigh the bad ones associated with the breakup.
What better way to win your ex’s heart than to walk down memory lane and talk about those amazing moments you shared together. Your vacation to Hawaii… Your weekend going wine tasting… Your first kiss…
By bringing up happy memories, your ex might indirectly try to convince you that your relationship still has a chance, and that you could be happy together. Perhaps he or she is trying to make you forget the things that went wrong or the mistakes that they made while you were still together.
Your ex keeps asking if you’re seeing anyone new
They want to make sure that you aren’t dating anyone and that they aren’t losing you. This is especially true if they aren’t dating anyone new either…
When these types of questions come from your friends and family, they seem perfectly normal. They don’t have any ulterior motives. Nevertheless, when your ex is the one asking you these things, it’s a bit different and it might be more than just curiosity that pushes them to ask.
Trying to get back together with someone that’s in a new relationship is a bit different from trying to get back together with someone who is single, so your ex might be trying to do some research that will help them to design the right strategy for winning back your heart.
Signs your ex will come back: They ask about you
You’re hearing that your ex has been asking your mutual friends about you. They want to know what you’ve been up to, if you’re single, if you’re happy, and if you’ve been asking about them as well. They don’t want to be too direct… Either they’re too shy or they don’t want to blow their cover, so they go through intermediaries to find out about you.
Your ex is communicating to you that they’ve changed
If you’re familiar with my philosophy, then you know that I always talk about how important it is to make concrete changes when you want to get back together with someone. You have to pinpoint what went wrong and come up with tangible solutions so that you don’t end up going down the same road again in the future. You both know how your last relationship together ended, so you’ve got to make sure that you protect the new relationship from it happening again.
They recognize that you’ve changed
Following in line with my previous point, your ex might be realizing that you’ve made the necessary changes as well. They can see that you’ve understood what needed to be improved and you took action!
Signs your ex will eventually come back: They start getting close to your family again
Getting closer to your family is a way to get closer to you. If your ex knows how important your family is to you, and how important it is that they like you if you’re going to be together again, they might already be making an effort to get close to them again. What’s more, your family can actually be a goldmine of information about you, so your ex might be trying to find clues as to how to win you over again.
Are there signs your ex will never come back to you again ?
Oftentimes, it looks like there is nothing you could do to make your ex want to give you another chance. The worst part of all of this is if you see these signs, you wind up feeling powerless… And the feeling of powerlessness can often lead to serious mistakes.
So, though these are the most common signs your ex has no interest in coming back, i want you to know that nothing is set in stone:
- They have moved on and are in a new relationship.
- They have blocked you on social media and do not respond to your messages.
- They do not express any interest in talking or seeing you again.
- They have made negative comments about you to mutual friends.
- They have moved or changed their phone number, making it difficult for you to contact them.
It’s important to note that just because your ex is showing these signs, it does not guarantee that they will never want to get back together. However, it may indicate that it’s time to move on and respect their wishes.
If you see signs your ex doesn’t want you back…
It’s true that it’s important to pay attention to signs that your ex might be drifting away from you as well – especially if you want them back. Keep in mind that the period following a breakup can be very complex and there are all kinds of emotions that are involved. Sometimes you’ll be feeling vulnerable and nostalgic, and other times you might be feeling like you’re better off without this person.
Don’t panic if you aren’t seeing the signs I mentioned above – there are still things you can do to turn things around.
Before we go into that, I wanted to take a moment to look at some possible signs your ex doesn’t really want you back right now. This usually happens when the breakup was very messy, when maybe you behaved in a way that made you look bad, or if your ex is in a new, serious relationship (and not just a rebound).
As I said above, each situation is entirely unique so it’s also very possible that if your ex is talking to someone new, it might be a thinly veiled attempt to make you jealous. This either means that they still feel something for you or want revenge.
The way to navigate this is to pay attention to the way they talk about this person. Is it sincere and respectful and are you picking up on genuine feelings for the new person, or are they talking about how hot he or she is and what kind of wild nights they share? I think you can see which situation involves an ex really moving on and an ex trying to push your buttons.
READ THIS : First Breakup: How To Survive It !
People often make the mistake of thinking that the opposite of love is hate, when in reality it’s indifference. When an ex is still very upset about what happened, it means that they are still feeling something and you still have an effect on them. It’s tricky, but you can still turn the odds in your favor.
When a person has seemed to move on and is no longer affected by your presence in their life or lack thereof, it is possible that they would not take the opportunity to be with you if the opportunity were to present itself.
Another possibility is that you’ve fallen into the friendzone. This is especially true if your ex isn’t a shy individual that would need some encouragement before they make a move. If you want to know how to avoid falling into this trap or how to get out of it, I suggest you read this right away.
Similarly, if you’re back in touch and your ex has been treating you more like a buddy than a love interest for a while now, they might be trying to foster a more platonic relationship with you. They’ll tease you and have fun, and maybe even talk about other guys or girls to you. They are relaxed and don’t feel like they need to impress you anymore… Perhaps you had a lot in common, or perhaps you were friends before the relationship, and your ex doesn’t want you to completely leave their life.
If you see signs your ex won’t come back, here’s what to do
If you read through the signs your ex will eventually come back above and you didn’t recognize any of them in your current situation, don’t panic. Anything is possible in love as long as you are motivated and patient. You CAN make your ex love you again!
In the majority of situations, the best thing to do when you want an ex back is to cut contact with them. This goes by the name of the no contact rule, and it is one of the most powerful techniques for jump starting things – even if you noticed signs he’s not coming back.
This tool works by grabbing their attention, making them miss you, and giving you the chance to become the best version of yourself. The needier and clingier you are, the less likely it is that your ex is going to want you back. What you need to remember is that if your ex comes back, it’s going to be because they realized that they miss you – not because you pressured or guilt-tripped them into it.
Even if you haven’t been particularly clingy or needy, you might have been too accessible to him or her. You wanted your ex to know that you’re there if they need you, but now you’re going to do the opposite. No, you’re not at their beck and call, you have your own things going on and you’re busy.
You’re tackling your own life and making it into what you’ve always wanted it to be. You’re staying busy with people and projects that bring you joy and satisfaction. You’re hitting the gym and feeling great about yourself, and your confidence is attracting other people. You’re out experiencing new things and your life seems so fun and exciting… And your ex will realize that he or she is no longer a part of it.
It’s not uncommon for an ex to feel peace knowing that you’re around if they ever feel like giving it another go with you, and this puts all the power in their hands.
But here’s the thing: Your ex is going to want you back the moment they fear losing your for good.
You can post pictures of all the fun things you’re doing on social media, and even if you are no longer connected, word will travel back to your ex. They’ll begin thinking, “Wait there’s the person I fell in love with in the first place… and it seems like I am witnessing a new and improved version! Was leaving a good idea…?” You will plant a seed of doubt in their mind and then things will start to fall into place.
Making an ex want you back is going to require patience and perseverance, but it is entirely possible. Remember, if you need a helping hand, I am here to guide you every step of the way. I should also mention that if you’ve found yourself thinking, “Is my ex slowly coming back…?” this is a very positive, yet very delicate situation! It is critical that you don’t make any false moves and spook your ex. I can guide you through this stage and set you on the path towards success.
All you need to do is leave your question in the comments section below and I’d be more than happy to personally reply, or reach out to me directly right here.
You can also start by reading this special article on how to get your ex back ASAP !
We can work together to design the perfect plan of action for your specific situation, even if you aren’t seeing signs your ex wants to get back together right now!
Wishing you all the best in life and love
Your coach for recognizing the signs your ex will eventually come back
Adrian
10 Responses
My ex was told by state sheriff to place a no contact order because when I lost 7family members in a year and a half instead of seeking help I tried to hang myself i didn’t know they were home when I did try but at this time she was dealing with cps and since I wasn’t the biological father first they said 6 months then to a year of not able to be around her child now I can’t speak with her but we are still friends on social media but can’t directly or indirectly talk to one another but she has the power to remove the order but because she’s in court for her daughter I know her daughter will always be first but what can I do we were together for 6years
Rico,
Firstly, I deeply recognize the weight of the trials and tribulations you’ve faced in the past, and it takes immense bravery to share such a personal journey. I truly feel your pain and longing for a connection that has been distanced due to external factors. Understandably, the protective measures concerning her child have placed barriers in your relationship. It’s crucial to remember that her current hesitations may not necessarily reflect her feelings towards you but rather the intricacies of her ongoing legal matters. Given the circumstances, respecting the no-contact order is paramount. In the interim, focus on your personal healing and well-being. Should you feel inclined to explore this further, a personal coaching session could provide valuable guidance tailored to your situation.
Remember always, life is a journey of self-awareness and growth. Never underestimate your resilience and the ability to rebuild.
Warm regards,
Coach Adrian
im not sure i even want her back she diffent its been 5 monuths no contack the cracythink is i kept running in to her out of the blue she realy wasent kind the fist time 3 monuths go buy i see her in the car this time she says hay how are you i called her in the car and i ask do you want me to call you she said what ever i called 4 days later she dident pick up i text her sayin would you like to meet for coffee no reply i see her 3 weeks later driveing i call her she said im not talking to you my carbroke down so i got in frount of her like 400 hundred feet just to make sure to make to work she went to the police thay called me i hade to tell my side of the story he just said if you see her dont say anythink to her and i just sean her again she was goint to publix so was i i dident see her maybe she sean me i was texting some one maybe she sean me and went a diffent way out im glad i dident see her face to face ty
Dear Rob,
Relationships and their aftermaths can be a complex terrain, and I appreciate your courage in sharing your experience. I sense the conflicting emotions and uncertainties from your words. It’s important to note that every encounter with an ex isn’t an invitation to rekindle.
Your encounters seem sporadic and her responses mixed. It’s essential for your peace of mind and emotional well-being to respect her boundaries, especially given the involvement of law enforcement. Remember, sometimes distance, both emotionally and physically, can be the balm that healing requires. If you truly believe in the possibility of reconciliation, it might be worth considering a more structured approach, where we can deeply explore these feelings in a personal coaching session and form an informed strategy.
However, in light of the circumstances, it’s imperative to respect the advice given to you by the authorities and focus on your personal growth. The journey of self-awareness and introspection will not only help you understand this relationship better but also equip you for future connections.
Stay strong.
Warmly,
Coach Adrian
Dear Coach Adrian,
my boyfriend broke up with me 4 weeks ago and it happened out of the blue for me and I made a lot of mistakes during and after the breakup (desperate, needy, hurtful… you know, I little crazy I would say). 3 weeks before he said he really loves me in a very vulnerable moment and at the breakup he said he likes me but not enough for a future together. The reasons where minor things and that he said he cannot trust me (don’t really know why). Now he blocked me on Social Media and WhatsApp (which I understand). I don’t know if there is a rebound at the moment or if he is dating. I guess he was flirting with other woman throughout the last months of our relationship (which lasted 10 months), and maybe I was a rebound too, our intimacy faded drastically the last few months. I would say the whole thing reminds me of monkey branching.
He is a very stubborn, closed person (ev. a dissmissive avoidant) and I’m totally no contact since two weeks. A few days ago I ran into him at the grocery store. He said hello first and appeared very insecure and nervous to me. I watched a lot of a videos, bought some content and thinking about when and how I can reach out to him. I know he would never do that (he is such a proud man) and said there is no hope for us. I thought about asking him for some documents he has which I can need for an upcoming exam. And how do I react when we meet randomly.
I don’t want the old relationship back but I’m optimistic we can build a new and better one because there is a special connection (even if we are 8 years apart… I’m older). I know I have to work on my codependency and I’m totally into evolving.
You and your team are really great and still helped me a lot!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Sincerely
Grace
Dear Grace, your resilience in the face of a sudden breakup is admirable, and it’s clear you’re committed to personal growth. Experiencing a range of emotions is expected, and it’s good that you recognize behaviors that you want to change. It’s also insightful of you to identify patterns such as monkey branching, which can complicate the healing process. Since you’ve identified issues like codependency, focusing on your personal development is essential. Your willingness to evolve is the foundation for any new relationship, whether with your ex or someone new. When considering reaching out for personal items, be honest with yourself if this is a genuine need or a reason to reconnect. Random encounters, like at the grocery store, should be handled with calm and civility, as you’ve done. Continuing no contact will give you both space to reflect, and when you feel the time is right, initiating contact for practical reasons could be a step towards a conversation. But, always ensure that your actions align with your growth and not just the hope of rekindling the past. If you’re looking to navigate this process with more personalized guidance, a personal coaching session could be very beneficial.
Dear Coach Adrian, thank you for your detailed answer and your nice words. And I have to be honest, reaching out for something is not a must, but I don’t want to let the contact fade completely. No contact is hard, but I’ll stick to it. I strongly believe in second chances to make things better as in the first attempt, but I’m aware that this is only true if both parties are working on themselves. I’m always the woman my exes wanted back when I was gone for good. Still many years after the divorce/breakup. He told me he don’t want to block me, maybe I would need his help someday (I just moved here in this area). Of course he blocked me because… You know, I freaked out a bit! Is it a bad idea to ask for help in some “men” things? I don’t want to look needy. I think we will see each other more often because of the short distance between us and a hobby we have in common. I’m indeed just considering to book a personal coaching session, even if it’s just for me to grow! Thanks a lot! Sincerely, Grace
Hello
My ex and I were together for 27yrs. He decided 7 weeks ago that it was over. We still live together. He works evenings Sunday to Friday morning. He came up with the idea that he sleeps at friends on Fridays and Saturday night. During the week I see him for about an hour. Initially when we 1st split he said he was going to look for a place in the New Year. Now he isn’t wants to carry on with this routine for as long as possible.
If he feels backed into a corner then he will react ten fold..He has opened a separate bank account and we are going to share the bills. He has said he will pay more…
A few weeks ago he told our daughter that he doesn’t enjoy sleeping out. When she asked why do it then, he didn’t reply..Since then he has told me it is because he doesn’t want us to argue..I don’t believe that as we have only argued twice since the split. The girls were not at home. One Friday he did actually stay. He said it was because our daughter may need a lift home from a party. She didn’t, so he could have gone back to his friends for the night.
One Saturday morning we went clothes shopping, stopped for coffee. We had a lovely day. He agreed it was and he said he enjoys my company.
He says he can see that I have changed. I have lost lots of weight. I am more chilled..
I sent him an accountability letter. I was controlling, put him down, made him feel as if I was better than him. I would push him away due to my lack of self esteem. I always thought that he could and would want to find someone else.. In regards to the letter he has read it, he said that he can forgive but not forget.He still keeps the letter on top of his drawer.
Today he asked if I wanted to do the supermarket shopping with him. We worked together to put it away. He made me a cup of tea, then we’ve been sat for 2 hours watching a documentary.
This morning I have used some of the tips from your course. I spoke about some memories from my childhood. Said ‘ You’ve never met a woman like me’ Touched/rubbed his arm to as I walked past.
At Christmas he has said that he will call in the morning to see the girls, but not to.include him in the lunch..He is going back to stay in a friend’s empty house..
Can I get him back? Will he come back?
Michelle
Hi Coach Adrian,
I was married to my my high school sweetheart for 30 years and was served divorce papers right after we sold our home (March) and we were to move across the country to start retirement life with our kids and new grandson. A year prior to the serving my ex was diagnosed with early onset PD. His family was everything to him and now he doesn’t engage, he goes to bars regularly, which was something he never did, he has lost apathy, and this amazing sense of humor he once had, is all but gone. I chose to give him the divorce and not fight it, but he knew I did not want it. He said he wanted his independence. The divorce was finalized in September and shortly after that he had a fraud incident that has caused him to be extremely on edge. We went most of the summer without talking and were not in a good place. One day he shared with me the events that transpired. I listened and supported him. He began reaching out on a daily basis. We have done some dinners together, walked our dogs together, watched tv together, he checks in multiple times a day, he helped me unpack at my new place, and we took a weekend trip together as friends. Most of the conversations have not been about the past, but just about what is currently happening. One of our kids even asked, “Why did you divorce again?”. My ex is currently staying with my daughter and her husband, and he even chimes in by telling my ex to have fun on his date because he knows he is seeing me. I fear this could make my ex stop because he doesn’t like being teased or how it looks to the kids. My ex will still say he has no interest in getting back together with me. He used to say he doesn’t know what the future holds, but he has since clarified there is no hope. He has implied that the fraud situation is the only reason we are where we are. The incident involved my finances a bit because of shared accounts. Yesterday, we spent Thanksgiving together with his parents. There is just no rhyme or reason, but lots of confusion. Our marriage saw challenges, but whose doesn’t?
How do I proceed? I feel like I am getting mixed signals. Am I just familiar and easy to talk to? The divorce not only hurt me deeply, but it really affected my grown kids. How do I avoid more hurt? I was healing this summer and now I am being reminded of how much I miss him and how much I want to support him, but I don’t want to be used and tossed aside again. He is extremely prideful. I have even wondered if he thought the divorce was a mistake, if he would admit it. I don’t want the family dynamics to change. I want to be the amazing family we once were, and I want to support him through this diagnosis. I have bought a home, he is looking at homes, and one of our kids suggested he shouldn’t buy, but wait it out. This is another complication that I don’t know how to navigate.
Please help. He tells me there is no future, yet he cares enough to check in and see me, but is this just because I’m the mother of his kids? I truly don’t know what to think. Could he come back?
Laura
Laura, your story is a poignant reminder of how life’s unexpected turns can deeply affect our relationships and emotional well-being. It’s clear that you’ve been through a significant emotional journey, both with your ex-husband and individually.
The mixed signals you’re receiving from your ex can indeed be confusing and emotionally taxing. It’s important to remember that while his behavior indicates a certain level of comfort and familiarity with you, his explicit statements about not wanting to reconcile must be given due weight. It’s possible that he values your presence in his life as a friend and co-parent but may not be inclined towards rekindling the romantic aspect of your relationship.
In such a scenario, it’s crucial for you to protect your emotional health. Continuously hoping for a reconciliation that may not happen can hinder your healing process. Focus on your own personal growth and well-being. You’ve already shown remarkable strength and resilience by moving forward with your life, buying a home, and seeking to support your ex through his diagnosis.
Consider setting clear boundaries in your interactions with him. This doesn’t mean cutting off all contact, especially given your shared history and family, but rather defining what you’re comfortable with in this new phase of your relationship.
If you’re struggling to navigate these complex emotions and decisions, a private coaching session could offer more personalized guidance and support.
Remember, Laura, your journey is also about rediscovering yourself and finding happiness in your own life, independent of your relationship with your ex.