Relationships are difficult to maintain as people have a tendency to get complacent over time and to start to take their partners for granted. You start to feel as if you are unhappy or in need of change only to realize that you miss your ex and want to see them again or even be with them all together.
It isn’t uncommon to see people go through three, four or even five or six breakups! And the question remains the same every time; is it possible for us to still get back together after all these breakups? More importantly is it possible to really make it work or does it mean that the relationship is doomed and that you are both just having trouble letting go?
From experience we know that almost all relationships can be saved and that it is possible to turn things around when willingness meets compassion and determination. No matter how many times you have broken up, it is possible for you to get back with your ex; and we will tell you how in this article!
Breakaway from the vicious cycle
In order to get back with your ex after multiple breakups and also stay together you will need to take a step back and acknowledge that serious changes are needed to make things work. You are engaged in a vicious cycle in which you are most likely banging your head against the wall. One of the two of you decided to breakup because you are both unhappy to some level and yet you ultimately end up getting back together under the same circumstances. Without any substantial changes made how can you really hope that the relationship will miraculously sort itself out?
After acknowledging that you are engaged in a self-defeating pattern, you will then need a genuine willingness to move forward in a different direction; know that it will take a relentless and conscious effort on your part if you hope to save your relationship. To further help you, we have specific eBooks available as well, so don’t hesitate to use all the tools available to you.
Identify the real core issues
Before you get back together yet again, it is best to take some time apart in order to understand both what drives you to be together and what ends up breaking your relationship apart. What is the fundamental issue preventing you from making each other happy?
Many times people are in relationships but have different lifestyles, goals, hobbies or even life projects. They are physically attracted to one another and they let love guide them before even asking themselves and each other any questions of substance. Where they are going and what they are building towards? Issues soon arise because two people are pulling in different directions, with a selfish outlook and too entrenched in their ways of being to hear their counterparts’ plea for change.
The only way too truly breakaway from the vicious cycle that has plagued your relationship and build something stable is to start by identifying the real wants, needs and aspirations of both individuals. Then try to reflect on the ways that you both have tried to bridge those needs and compromise on the other person’s dreams and aspirations throughout the entire relationship.
One of the fundamental principles that people have a tough time grasping during this introspection is considering both people’s needs and aspirations as equals. Stray away from this trap and you will quickly be able to see both the core issues that have plagued your relationship as well as the futility of the vicious cycle that you have been engaged in. At this stage you will already be one step closer towards getting back with your ex permanently after multiple breakups!
Change the communication pattern
The tension, frustration and built up resentment from being misunderstood always leads to a breakdown in communication. In order to make the relationship permanent and to avoid yet another breakup you will need to fundamentally change the way you communicate and interact with your ex on a multitude of levels.
In fact your main goal moving forward should be to completely shift the way that you approach talking and relating to each other. Look to always avoid arguments and instead think of potential solutions that can bridge your differences before talking back to your significant other. You will need to shift your approach, your words, but also be conscious of your body language; non-verbal communication is an underrated yet important aspect of communication as a whole. The best way to quickly shit your communication pattern is to focus on being an active listener; give more importance to your ex words and their meaning rather than your own thoughts, judgment or ideas.
This outlook will be extremely positive during potentially contentious situations. Instead of taking a selfish approach and trying to convey your thoughts, needs and desires try for instance to envision your relationship as a single entity. You will need to be in a true spirit of compromise; and to take it a step further fully accept the notion that you’re ex’s well-being enables your own happiness.
You can Get back with your ex permanently after multiple breakups!
If you and your ex haven broken up a multitude of times the good news is that you know for sure that you are capable of winning them back! No matter how bad things got, you can put yourself in a position to seduce them once again after this new-found perspective by drastically shifting your behavior towards your ex.
When I am asked by people during coaching session if it still possible to get back with their ex, my answer is often the same: If you become the person that your ex has always dreamed of being with why would they not want to be with you? It all depends entirely on you, your actions and willingness to make things work.
If you need further reassurance look at the facts and history of your own relationship; after all the issues that your couple has faced, you still seem to be drawn back to another. This implies an emotional connection and deep desire to be with another. Satisfy this need by shifting your outlook and behavior in order to both make each other happy for good!
You have been given concrete tools to Get back with your ex permanently after multiple breakups get back with your ex permanently after multiple breakups. The final piece of advice is to change your perception of the relationship itself. Don’t look to get back together yet again, but rather look to start a new relationship with the person that you love on a clean slate.
You need to break away from the past and detach yourselves from the negative baggage in order to give your couple a stronger foundation and for love to blossom. The best way to ensure a clean separation from the past is to never bring up past transgressions or mistakes. This is a very important piece of advice.
If your ex tries to talk about your past wrongdoings or behavior simply respond in a positive manner by pointing out actions that you are undertaking to shift your ways and become a better person in that sense. By combating negative emotions with positivism you will be able to also shift their outlook in time.
Your coach to get back with your ex permanently after multiple breakups,
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Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love... for good!