Get back with your ex permanently after multiple breakups

Get back with your ex permanently after multiple breakupsRelationships are difficult to maintain as people have a tendency to get complacent over time and to start to take their partners for granted. You start to feel as if you are unhappy or in need of change only to realize that you miss your ex and want to see them again or even be with them all together.

It isn’t uncommon to see people go through three, four or even five or six breakups! And the question remains the same every time; is it possible for us to still get back together after all these breakups? More importantly is it possible to really make it work or does it mean that the relationship is doomed and that you are both just having trouble letting go?

From experience we know that almost all relationships can be saved and that it is possible to turn things around when willingness meets compassion and determination. No matter how many times you have broken up, it is possible for you to get back with your ex; and we will tell you how in this article!

Breakaway from the vicious cycle

In order to get back with your ex after multiple breakups and also stay together you will need to take a step back and acknowledge that serious changes are needed to make things work. You are engaged in a vicious cycle in which you are most likely banging your head against the wall. One of the two of you decided to breakup because you are both unhappy to some level and yet you ultimately end up getting back together under the same circumstances. Without any substantial changes made how can you really hope that the relationship will miraculously sort itself out?

After acknowledging that you are engaged in a self-defeating pattern, you will then need a genuine willingness to move forward in a different direction; know that it will take a relentless and conscious effort on your part if you hope to save your relationship. To further help you, we have specific eBooks available as well, so don’t hesitate to use all the tools available to you.

Identify the real core issues

Before you get back together yet again, it is best to take some time apart in order to understand both what drives you to be together and what ends up breaking your relationship apart. What is the fundamental issue preventing you from making each other happy?

Many times people are in relationships but have different lifestyles, goals, hobbies or even life projects. They are physically attracted to one another and they let love guide them before even asking themselves and each other any questions of substance. Where they are going and what they are building towards? Issues soon arise because two people are pulling in different directions, with a selfish outlook and too entrenched in their ways of being to hear their counterparts’ plea for change.

The only way too truly breakaway from the vicious cycle that has plagued your relationship and build something stable is to start by identifying the real wants, needs and aspirations of both individuals. Then try to reflect on the ways that you both have tried to bridge those needs and compromise on the other person’s dreams and aspirations throughout the entire relationship.

One of the fundamental principles that people have a tough time grasping during this introspection is considering both people’s needs and aspirations as equals. Stray away from this trap and you will quickly be able to see both the core issues that have plagued your relationship as well as the futility of the vicious cycle that you have been engaged in. At this stage you will already be one step closer towards getting back with your ex permanently after multiple breakups!

Change the communication pattern

The tension, frustration and built up resentment from being misunderstood always leads to a breakdown in communication. In order to make the relationship permanent and to avoid yet another breakup you will need to fundamentally change the way you communicate and interact with your ex on a multitude of levels.

In fact your main goal moving forward should be to completely shift the way that you approach talking and relating to each other. Look to always avoid arguments and instead think of potential solutions that can bridge your differences before talking back to your significant other. You will need to shift your approach, your words, but also be conscious of your body language; non-verbal communication is an underrated yet important aspect of communication as a whole. The best way to quickly shit your communication pattern is to focus on being an active listener; give more importance to your ex words and their meaning rather than your own thoughts, judgment or ideas.

This outlook will be extremely positive during potentially contentious situations. Instead of taking a selfish approach and trying to convey your thoughts, needs and desires try for instance to envision your relationship as a single entity. You will need to be in a true spirit of compromise; and to take it a step further fully accept the notion that you’re ex’s well-being enables your own happiness.

You can Get back with your ex permanently after multiple breakups!

If you and your ex haven broken up a multitude of times the good news is that you know for sure that you are capable of winning them back! No matter how bad things got, you can put yourself in a position to seduce them once again after this new-found perspective by drastically shifting your behavior towards your ex.

When I am asked by people during coaching session if it still possible to get back with their ex, my answer is often the same: If you become the person that your ex has always dreamed of being with why would they not want to be with you? It all depends entirely on you, your actions and willingness to make things work.

If you need further reassurance look at the facts and history of your own relationship; after all the issues that your couple has faced, you still seem to be drawn back to another. This implies an emotional connection and deep desire to be with another. Satisfy this need by shifting your outlook and behavior in order to both make each other happy for good!

Start anew

You have been given concrete tools to Get back with your ex permanently after multiple breakups get back with your ex permanently after multiple breakups. The final piece of advice is to change your perception of the relationship itself. Don’t look to get back together yet again, but rather look to start a new relationship with the person that you love on a clean slate.

You need to break away from the past and detach yourselves from the negative baggage in order to give your couple a stronger foundation and for love to blossom. The best way to ensure a clean separation from the past is to never bring up past transgressions or mistakes. This is a very important piece of advice.

If your ex tries to talk about your past wrongdoings or behavior simply respond in a positive manner by pointing out actions that you are undertaking to shift your ways and become a better person in that sense. By combating negative emotions with positivism you will be able to also shift their outlook in time.

Your coach to get back with your ex permanently after multiple breakups,

Adrian

  • Chichi

    Hey! I’ve been with my boyfriend on and off for one year. We’ve just broken up a month ago, he didn’t really give me any legit reason but what he said was “My heart isn’t in the relationship anymore…I’m not coming back…I’m not going to reach out” I want to make this work again. I haven’t spoken to him since we’ve broken up. How can I apply this method to my situation ?

  • chinyere anyikwa

    My boyfriend I recently broke up about a month ago, we’ve been on and off for a whole year. Everytime we’d break up it would be a new excuse and somehow we end up back again. The day he broke up with me he told me his heart was no longer in the relationship. He has my things as well and I once asked for them back but he never made the effort to give them to me. Since then we haven’t spoken. I want things to work out and I really want him back how can I use your methods to get him back?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hello Chinyere,
      The fact that he refused to give you your stuff back is actually a good sign, and proof that he is not fully ready to let go. In your case, to get back with your ex permanently after multiple breakups you have to prove to him that you are ready to let go. The first step would be to go pick up your belongings! This will be a sign of independence and to show him that you are willing to move forward on your own. This will enable you to shift the dynamic and to make him feel as if he is losing you for good. It is necessary however for us to work together in order to help you enter into a new and improved relationship with your ex, not to keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again.
      I thus hope to hear from you soon, and to help you reach your goals via a one on one coaching session.
      All the very best,
      Adrian

      • chinyere anyikwa

        I text him today it seems like he’s avoiding me, he insisted on giving my things to someone else to give me. I feel like I lost him now.

        • CoachAdrian

          You have not, you simply need some help and to be guided in the right direction in order to snap out of this funk that you are in at the moment! I hope to speak to you soon during the course of a one on one coaching session.
          Sincerely,
          Adrian

          • Louise

            Hi I was with my ex for 9 years an broke up 2 months ago we haven’t seen or spoke to each we also lived together for 5 years my stuff is still in the house witch he hasn’t asked me to get I went to the house with in a month of the split when he was in work an my stuff was exactly the same were I left everything nothing had moved Ye I also have the key aswell he has not deleted my number is there a chance of getting him back

          • CoachAdrian

            Hello Louise,
            Thank you for sharing your story with me. In order for me to advise you in the best possible way I will need to know a bit more about the dynamics of your relationship and also about the breakup; how did it occur and why? and how did you react?
            The fact that he has not asked for the keys, and that your things are exactly where you left them is a good sign! I believe that we can win him back…If you are serious about doing everything possible to make this work, I would encourage you to book a coaching session with me in order for me to help you maximize your chances to make things right quickly.
            I sincerely hope to hear from you soon.
            Sincerely,
            Adrian

          • Tigris

            My boyfriend of 14 years left again. We’ve separated at least once a year. We have 4 son’s together and I am at my worst end. We communicate and he tells me he will take care of all of us and his main goal is to provide for us. Yes in a different state 3 hours away. He always leaves the state when we separate. I’m not sure if I’m wasting my time or can we make this work.

          • CoachAdrian

            This seems like a complex situation, but one that we can work on together to turn things around.
            I strongly advise that you book a coaching session with me in order for us to work together and turn this around.
            Best,
            Adrian

          • Cyrus

            Hello me n my ex started off as friends with benefits,for a year in a half,then we were together n ever since the relationship got off she’s broke up with me multiple times this last time we got back together, she was talking about us living together n getting married but yet another break up I was told she’s scared of being hurt, she’s had a rough past n I’ve always been there for her its been three months now of being broke up we have talked on the phone n hung out a couple times but got into a disagreement she told me to loose her number any chance of getting her back??

  • My boyfriend of almost two years broke up with me three times saying he didn’t really want to breaknow up but got mad and blurted it out. Then after 6 months he asks me and my kids to move in. We say yes then a few weeKS later we have an argument and he breaks up with me again saying it’s for good. I thought we were moving in together so I don’t get it. I’m so hurt. My kids are hurt. He said there’s no way to fix it because I make him feel bad because of my Insecurities. Mainly with his ex wife because she texts him all day everyday and at night and about everything under the sun. They have kids together but I feel there needs to be blundaries. He said he doesn’t want her to be upset. Apparently it’s ok if I am thpugh. I felt like I was being put last. Why ask me to move in if he was considering a break up? help!!!

  • Rachael

    My boyfriend of almost two years broke up with me three times saying he didn’t really want to breaknow up but got mad and blurted it out. Then after 6 months he asks me and my kids to move in. We say yes then a few weeKS later we have an argument and he breaks up with me again saying it’s for good. I thought we were moving in together so I don’t get it. I’m so hurt. My kids are hurt. He said there’s no way to fix it because I make him feel bad because of my Insecurities. Mainly with his ex wife because she texts him all day everyday and at night and about everything under the sun. They have kids together but I feel there needs to be blundaries. He said he doesn’t want her to be upset. Apparently it’s ok if I am thpugh. I felt like I was being put last. Why ask me to move in if he was considering a break up? help!!!

    • CoachAdrian

      Hello!
      Thank you for sharing your story. The situation that you are currently in is complicated and I would need a lot more information in order to guide you in the best possible way. No doubt that you are both carrying heavy emotional baggage into this relationship, which prevented your current relationship to flourish.
      I would love to help if you are convinced that this is the man that you want to be with; and I urge you to book a coaching session in order for us to dig into the issues.
      Hope to hear from you soon.
      Best,
      Adrian

  • Melissa

    Hello. My boyfriend broke up with me after a fight. We didn’t talk for a month. He came back and we were back together for 11 days. He was hot and cold the whole time. I felt unbalanced so he thought I was clingy. (He has major trust issues from previous relationship). He dumped me. However he told me multiple times that I was the best woman he was ever with. After talking with his friend is when he dumped me. His friend also has dating issues. So it’s been 7 days. No contact. Do you think there is any chance he’ll come back? I attempted to sign up for your course but ita not letting me enter my email address. Please help. I’ll pay if need be.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hello Melissa,
      I definitely think that it is possible to get him back if you have a clear plan and if you are able to control your emotions. I would obviously need to know a lot more about you and what you are going through in order to advise you in the best possible way. The best would be for us to speak over the phone or via skype so that I can provide you with a tailored game plan! Let me know if you are still committed to doing everything possible to win back his heart and we can start to get working!
      I look forward to helping you meet your goals,
      Adrian

  • James Maue

    Me and my ex broke up for good we thought a little more than a month ago, we dated for 2 years and the first year was amazing second not so much, we both had trust issues but lately we’ve Been talking and hooking up.. im 100 percent on gettng back together, but she says she’s 95 and the other 5 percent is moving on, what can I do to help with that 5 percent and make sure to keep her this time

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey James,
      Thank you for reaching out! What you have already been able to accomplish is amazing and I understand exactly where you stand and the difficulties that one can encounter when trying to seal the deal.
      In order for me to tell you exactly what you should do, I would need to speak with you during a coaching session over the phone. My advice and guidance will be based upon what went wrong the first time, how the breakup was announced and what the current dynamic is like; those are all important factors for me to grasp before being able to advise you.
      Please book a coaching session when you are ready in order for me to help you seal the deal ASAP.
      All the best,
      Adrian

  • Beautifullyflawed

    Adrian,

    I love everything you’ve mentioned in this article, those are the steps I feel my ex and I should take… Here’s the situation because I need help, my ex and I have been in an on again off again relationship for 9 years. fyi he broke this off with me every time, it’s been 5 months since. We didn’t speak for 2 1/2 months, but I decided to make contact and this time instead of ignoring me, he responded. he said after our last argument he lost hope and isn’t ready to be in a relationship with anyone. He feels like it’s a constant back n fourth with us and no stability and nothing never changes permanently. He has his doubts, the trust is definitely shattered with us. I strongly, have identified the issues in our relationship and I want to really make this work this time around. When I call and texts he will respond most of the time, but when I bring up the relationship he completely ignores. How do I restore hope within him, with pushing him away further? He has told his parents he still loves me and will always love me. He told me we are better off as being cordial and being friends. Is this breakup final for us? What do you suggest?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey,
      Thanks for sharing. I don’t think this breakup is final…I think that we have enough here to build upon and turn this relationship around.
      But you need to value yourself more and actually make him chase you. I would like to work together to help you not make the same mistakes over and over again. Please book a coaching session so we can work together.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Aysha

    Hi, my name is Aysha. I’ve been with my ex for more than 3 years and he’s always been the one to leave me. He used to stress over the fact that we are cousins and that no one would support us getting married. I’m in love with him, I never gave up and every time he leaves me I always try to convince him back which slowly worked and we would be in love all over again. Lately he has been stressing about other things outside our relationship and this time he became stressed because of me because I wasn’t being understanding enough and he thought that if we get married, he’s gonna be more stressed and unhappy if he’s with me. Our whole family knew that we are together but he told his mom that he doesn’t want me anymore and that’s the second time he told her. My parents doesn’t know yet. It’s been more than 3 weeks that he left me. He blocked me everywhere like he always does after he leaves me. I wrote to his email and he finally replied by saying that he doesn’t want me to bother him and that he’s found another girlfriend, he said he’s gonna marry her and even told his parents that too. He said he will never love me again and that I shouldn’t too. I feel like he’s lying about him having a girlfriend because I was still able to enter his social media accounts and he doesn’t really go online, I see him try to talk to other girls but they don’t really talk to him. So he probably gave up I don’t know. But I just truly love him so much and I try to convince him that I’ll be a better person for him. Our last conversation ended by him crying and telling me how stressed I make him. What made him leave me was when I gave him an attitude because I was upset at him for making me seem less important. He was trying to say sweet things to me and had called me to hear my voice, once I gave him that tone, moments later he said that it would make him happy if we broke up. We had long distance relationship throughout the whole relationship and he’s all the way in Turkey. He just works the whole day every day except Weekends, he started working at 15 to take care of his family. They kind of live a poor life. But I love him with all my heart and I agreed to do everything he wants me to do. He set up so many rules and I was doing it all. I’ve been crying every single day, I’ve been trying to be better for him because I always wanted to be his future wife. Sometimes I can be annoying and childish but I just love him. I wish he could just be like before and never stressed and was really happy to be with me…I don’t wanna lose him, I wanna earn his love for me again and this time I don’t want him to leave me ever please help…

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Aysha,
      Thanks for sharing your story, I’m super super busy at the moment with coaching requests so I urge you to book a session in order for us to quickly work together.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Anna

    Hi there!
    I’m in sort of a dilemma. I was with my boyfriend for almost a year and 2 months. We had broken up in August, were broken up for a month. We got back together in October and were perfectly okay again. A few weeks ago we had broken up AGAIN, and last week he decided that he wanted to give me another chance. He was away for Thanksgiving, and everything was fine. He said we was very happy with the decision he made, and he said he was happy in general. He missed me and said he couldn’t wait for him to get back so we could continue to see each other and be with one another again. A few days ago, he broke up with me out of the blue. We had fought once after we got back together and he changed his mind almost immediately. He says he shouldn’t have gotten back together with me and that he made a mistake. He feels very guilty about it, but he thinks our relationship wasn’t healthy. He thinks that this is best for the both of us, but obviously we are both very hurt right now. He can’t forgive himself for leading me on and then quickly breaking up with me again. He says nothing in our relationship is fixable, but there’s nothing more that I want to be able to fix things with him. I was so patient and determined to get him back the last two times, and I will continue to fight for him. But he wants me to stop. He says this is the last time he’ll give me a chance, and he doesn’t want me to continue to try for our relationship. He says he misses me and loves me still, but he just can’t be with me right now. It hurts me, and I don’t want to get over it. We had a great chemistry, but we just argued a lot. I don’t want things to end like this so suddenly. I thought everything was going to be okay. I just need some help, and I want to know if there’s still a chance to be with him.