He is the one for youIs he the one for you? Then why do you always seem to be trying to win him back? These are the questions which should run through your head and which determine your involvement in the reconciliation.

You don’t understand how this man whom you love so much could make the decision to leave you out of nowhere. After all you’ve been through, a second chance would seem legitimate and so you are left wondering is really the one for you?

However, understand that following any breakup the situation can get quite complex. Even though your will to win him back and to be together again has surely pushed you to be patient, to question yourself and to change, you may not have been ready or expecting to go through such a long road ahead. The goal of this article is to facilitate your reflection and provide you with some added perspective, especially if you’re seriously starting to doubt if in the end he is the one for you. Just be prepared to come to terms with the fact that in certain cases you have to come to terms with the fact that doing nothing is your best bet to get your ex back!

He can’t explain the reasons behind the breakup to you

In order to get back together, you need stability and acknowledge exactly what the situation truly is between you and your ex. If your ex-boyfriend was the one that made the choice to breakup but did not have the guts to explain to you why, or his reasoning to you to provide you with a chance to change certain things, then he may not even be worthy of the strides and all the efforts that you’ve taken to try to salvage your relationship!

Regardless of who decided to breakup, you can’t act alone after the fact while trying to piece things back together. He needs to be receptive to your efforts. A man incapable of standing behind his beliefs when announcing his decisions reflects that he may not be all that stable nor mature enough in his personal life. Please make sure that you understand that and come to term with this reality. If he is the one for you, in turn, he will have to one day come to terms and fully understand that a relationship is a succession of ups and downs. You cannot truly enjoy the positive elements if you run away after the first set of challenges.

He is the one for you but hurts you without realizing it

When your ex is being reckless and no longer considers his acts or words and avoids understanding your sadness or fears, he can do a lot of damage to you and leave long-lasting harm. Be careful as this can lead you to not only lose confidence in yourself, but you could start to doubt your own feelings in the future as well as love in general.

Of course, if you have created a situation where all you are doing is harassing him, he will not be receptive to your emotions and sadness. However if you have taken some distance and know how to vocalize your anguish to him, yet he still remains the same and doesn’t try to end things on good terms, then he surely doesn’t really care about you and your sadness and in fact he may not be the one for you.

He does nothing to make things better

If he constantly avoids or ignore you and has no regards for your actions while also being oblivious to your needs, know that regardless of how things stand he would not have been able to keep you happy in the long term; it’s quite obvious! Remember that the object in reconciliation or when trying to get back with an ex is to be able to start something new, based on a more solid foundation.

In your situation, your ex doesn’t seem inclined to see your needs, and this is why you must stop trying to win him back. A Radio Silence or communications blackout is the best option in response to his ignorance. It allows you to rebuild yourself and to restart contact with him when the time is right while also perhaps triggering a change in his behavior if he is the one for you.

He does not make you happy, so why are you trying to make him happy?

You are clinging to your emotions and to memories, but not necessarily to him. It’s an issue I regularly come across. Ask yourself if it is the ego and not the attachment to the relationship which is talking on your behalf?

The last tip I have when considering if and how to get him back is actually just an idea or suggestion, and a great one at that: I invite you to ask yourself if he truly brought you all the happiness that you expected and think you deserve. Furthermore really reflect on if he also has things that he should be working on changing? In which case try to also remember that everything should not always be on you, and know that you can find another man who will treat you just as well if not better.

Your coach if you are wondering if he is the one for you,

Alexandre Cormont