I bet that got your attention, didn’t it? Feeling insecure about things can absolutely put your relationship in danger. Whether you’re feeling insecure about yourself, about your partner, or about where things are going, that feeling of unease can shake the very foundation of this relationship. Now I am not telling you this to terrify you!
If you’re already feeling anxious, I know that this isn’t really music to your ears right now, but becoming aware of what’s going on can help you to turn things around. So I wanted to write an article that explains why too much insecurity can jeopardize a relationship, but I also wanted to go over what you can do to reinforce the foundation of your relationship, restore your self confidence, and use certain tools and techniques that will help you to solidify your bond with your significant other.
Feeling insecure: Where this comes from
It all boils down to self confidence. If you are not feeling fully self confident in yourself, then feelings of anxiety and insecurity will surge up.
I often see this in people who have lost track of their own personal lives when they got invested in a relationship. The relationship took precedent and became the center of their universe, and they lost track of their own projects, goals, hobbies, passions, and even their friends and family members.
This is a very common phenomenon, and it puts you at risk for emotional dependency.
You can start to develop the feeling that you cannot be happy without your significant other, and that you need them around in order to have purpose in your life. This creates a huge imbalance in the relationship because you are making your own happiness someone else’s responsibility, and on top of that, they will begin to see you in a different light.
If you’re familiar with our philosophy, then you know that we always emphasis the importance of being an exciting challenge for your partner. This is what keeps the passion alive and the attraction present in a relationship. So if you’re feeling insecure, you can become needy and clingy, which are two of the biggest no-no’s when it comes to maintaining a healthy, long lasting relationship.
That is one of the things that can put out the flame in a relationship the fastest!
So what should you do?
Feeling insecure in a relationship: Here’s what to do!
When you want to get rid of this insecure and anxious feeling, the first thing to do is to switch your focus… Then you will hold the key to changing the dynamic between you and your significant other. When you feel more in control, your ex will notice a shift and it will make you considerably more attractive in his or her eyes!
How to stop feeling insecure: prioritizing your personal happiness
I know that some of you might read that heading and think, “I don’t want to prioritize my own happiness when I’m in a relationship. That would be so selfish!” The truth of the matter is that it is actually a very healthy thing to do.
When you focus all of your energy on your partner, not only does that suffocate them, it can also put all the power in their hands. You end up putting them on a pedestal and the relationship no longer has a solid foundation. As I started to mention above, I often see that when clients are insecure in a relationship, it’s because they lost track of their personal lives.
So right now, I invite you to take a pen and paper and start writing down what elements of your personal life have gotten placed on the back burner. Do you still make time to see your friends and your family? Do you still prioritize your hobbies and passions? If not, now is the time to stat reincorporating all of that into your life.
Introducing new things into your life when you’re feeling insecure in relationships
If you’ve been feeling jealous and insecure, one of the best things to do is to simply get busier. If you catch yourself with a lot of down time, that means that you have a lot of time to fixate and overanalyze things. As a result, various things can end up getting blown out of proportion and it becomes dangerously easy to find yourself thinking, “I am feeling insecure in my relationship!”
So my suggestion to you is to start filling up your schedule with activities that you’ve never tried before. Think of things you’ve always wanted to do and get busy with them! Invite your friends along. Challenge yourself! Make it fun!
You’ll see that the busier you get, the better your mood will be, and the more your insecurities and anxieties will diminish.
A couple different things will start to happen here. First of all, your mind will be occupied and it will be harder to fixate on your insecurities in the relationship, you’ll start to feel more in control of things because you’re being proactive in your own life, and on top of that, you will shift the dynamic in your relationship.
You will no longer be waiting around for you partner, depending on him or her to make you happy. In turn, he or she will feel much lighter and will be curious about all these new things you’re doing.
Remember, this is how you can inspire your significant other to want to get closer to you!
How to stop feeling insecure in a relationship once and for all, starting today
Getting rid of this feeling is possible! It all begins with reinforcing your self confidence, proving to yourself that you are in control of your own well being and that it is not another person’s responsibility to make you happy, and making sure that you prioritize your own happiness. In addition to this, there are certain elements of your relationship that both of you need to pay attention to.
For example, proper communication. You must both work on communicating your wants and needs from this relationship, and if your partner is continually doing something that makes you feel uneasy, something needs to change. Being open and honest with each other will help foster complicity and a bond between you. This happens by being honest about your feelings, but also by actively listening.
For example, when your partner is expressing the way they feel about something, instead of just nodding silently, you can repeat what they say. “Ok, I understand. So you mean that when …”
This way your partner feels heard, and they will begin to do the same for you.
And last but not least, an easy fix for feelings of insecurity
Whether your insecurities are stemming from your self esteem, your self image, your relationship, your past, or your future… there is one simple tool that should not be underestimated.
Get out there and go for a powerful run!
Yes! Going running can help you get rid of these unpleasant feelings in your chest and in the pit of your stomach! Physical exercise, especially when it is intensive, can clear your mind, get your endorphins flowing, and get rid of negative thoughts.
Making your body sweat and increasing your heart rate helps to release powerful chemicals in the brain all while helping you to exhaust yourself. Exhausting yourself can clear the mind, help you to sleep better at night, and wake up with more energy.
So if you feel that your relationship is experiencing serious issues and that is why you are feeling insecure, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us right here. Together we can come up with a plan of action to save your relationship and get you back on track, feeling great. I encourage you to simultaneously use the tools I have gone over in this article.
If you know that these feelings are bad habits, or stemming from deeper rooted issues, remember to take care of yourself and make sure that the life you are living is making you genuinely happy. It is not your partner’s job to make you happy, it is yours. If you have any questions, please leave them in the comments section below and it would be our pleasure to get back to you!
Wishing you all the best in life and love
Your coach when you are experiencing feelings of insecurity
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Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love... for good!