Mastering the art of how to act with dignity after a breakup can be tough when your heart just got stomped all over by the person you love. Your mind is full of questions, doubts, frustrations, negative thoughts, and sadness. They hurt you, and you feel rejected.
Many people turn to revenge or allow themselves to be controlled by their emotions following a breakup, and this can make things worse than they already are. This is especially true if you’re hoping for a second chance with your ex.
That is why I wanted to write this article for you today. Keeping your composure after a breakup will get you much farther in the long run, whatever your goals might be! Together we are going to take a look at some of the best things to do when you’re feeling like your heartbreak is going to make you do something regrettable!
How to handle being dumped with dignity and why it’s so important
We are all human beings. Nobody likes to get hurt by someone they care about. No one wants to feel duped or taken advantage of. Getting broken up with is a huge blow to the ego, especially if your ex did something that crossed the line.
You can feel disrespected, angry, and even bloodthirsty after you get dumped. You want to feel like you’re on top – like you’re in control. You want to make your ex feel as bad as you’re feeling right now, so your head gets filled with vengeful thoughts.
Similarly, the pain of the breakup can be so acute that your sadness and despair make you want to do things that could actually make your ex want to get further away from you instead of closer to you. I’m talking about harassing them with incessant phone calls or text messages, begging them to take you back, showing up in places where you know they’ll be to corner them… It can get messy, believe me.
So, why is handling a breakup with class SO important?
Well, the entire point of working on making your ex want to be with you is this: You have to inspire them to want to get closer to you – not further away from you!
If they feel threatened, suffocated, irritated, or overwhelmed by you, they aren’t going to feel the desire to make any effort towards restoring the bond between you. Nope, they’re going to want to run for the hills thinking, “Good riddance!!”
That’s not what we want at all.
When you go through a breakup, it’s crucial to maintain your dignity so that your ex can see that you can handle the situation with grace and maturity, and this will in turn show him or her that you are someone admirable – even at your “worst.”
Let me paint a picture really quick. Imagine that two people break up. Let’s say Carlie broke up with Frank because she didn’t feel that flame for him anymore. When she tells this to Frank and leaves him, he panics. Normal. But he panics and spends every day trying to talk to her and convince her she’s wrong, and that she should give him another chance.
Twenty texts a day, five missed phone calls, he tries to talk to her friends to get them to talk to her, he starts sending her emails begging her to take him back… Simply put, she’s starting to feel like he’s irritatingly obsessed with her, and tells him that she needs space right now.
Frank hears this and thinks, “Fine. You want space from me? You can have all the space you want! I’ll show you…” He’s bitter and angry now, and turns his focus to making Carlie feel jealous and bad about leaving him. He starts posting pictures of himself will all kinds of girls, knowing full well that she would see. He starts badmouthing her to all their mutual friends, telling them things about her that she wouldn’t want to share… He’s mad she left him so he’s determined to make her feel terrible about it.
Now, his heart is hurting, yes. He wants her back, yes. Deep down, he loves her, yes. But tell me honestly, would you want to take him back…? Would you want to be with someone that A. Suffocates you and then B. Becomes vengeful? Well, no.
On the other hand, what if Frank was able to handle the situation with grace, understand why she left, take the time to come up with longterm solutions, and come back to her with a level head when he had made improvements to his life? What if he had instead showed her that he was able to grow from this experience (instead of revert to vindictive or desperate behavior)?
Let me just say that this is actually one of the keys for how to make your ex miss you… But I’m getting ahead of myself! I’ll expand on that momentarily.
The reason you want to accept a breakup with dignity is because you want to use it as fuel and motivation for becoming the best version of yourself. This is how you get an ex back – not by begging and pleading or lashing out at them.
How to act with dignity after a breakup: 2 steps
I know it’s fresh – I know it hurts. You have every right to be upset. I know that breaking up with dignity is easier said than done, but there are a few tools that can help you to do just that.
You don’t have to resort to screaming and crying, begging and pleading, or vengeful actions because it’s not going to bring you anything positive in the long run. Sure, feeding into that temptation might feel good in that specific moment, but as soon as the moment passes you’ll end up feeling worse than before. It’s not worth it.
So, how to act when he or she breaks up with you?
First things first, we want to make them respect you after a breakup. This means that you’ve got to remain calm and collected when you’re talking. Don’t give in to the urge to spout off insults. It’s natural for tears to flow, but you don’t need to become hostile.
Next up, during the aftermath of a breakup you’re probably going to have surges of temptation to do something to make your ex feel bad for leaving you. There is a positive way to do this and make your ex regret leaving you, but there is also a negative way that is going to have the opposite effect.
Like I mentioned above, insulting them or trying to hurt them by seeing you with other people isn’t going to get you far. In fact, it might be enough for your ex to think that they’re actually better off without you.If you want them back, you have to inspire them to want to be a part of your life.
What’s more, if you want them to be open to being your partner again, you’ll have to reassure them that they aren’t stepping into the same relationship that you had before. For more in depth information on how exactly to get your ex back, click here!
Right now, I encourage you to train your mind to do something productive when you want to do something destructive. For example, the next time you want to send a text to your ex begging them to take you back, do something geared towards one of your personal goals instead. If you’ve been working on a blog, upload a new entry. Do something that makes you feel like you’re moving forward.
Similarly, spend more time with your friends (who have positive mindsets). Spend more time outside, trying out new places and activities.
When you’re feeling down about the breakup, write down things you are grateful for. Fill up your schedule with things that bring you joy.
I know that this is a very challenging period, but don’t forget that I am always here to help. All you have to do is click here to get in touch with me directly. Together we can design a custom plan of action that will help you come out on top.
I wish you all the best
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Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love... for good!