When you’ve been going through multiple breakups with the person you love, it usually means that there is a powerful connection between you. You keep gravitating back towards one another and there is quite a bit of passion between you. The problem is that you keep making the same mistake but are expecting different results… So I wanted to write this article for you on how to know if a breakup is final and what you can do to change the situation!
Breaking up multiple times: Why this happens
One of the main reasons behind why two people can break up and get back together over and over again is simply because the idea of “breaking up” can become an empty threat. It can just be something that is used to get a reaction out of your partner, and what’s more, the more frequently it happens, the less of an impact it has.
It can also be used as a move to gain more power and after a while, the person on the receiving end of this, whether it’s you or your partner, is going to pick up on this tactic and it will start to lose its effect.
Once the passionate, explosive element of this dies down and the conversations start becoming very calm, it’s a sign your breakup is permanent.
The biggest signs a breakup is final: Understanding the patterns
Very often, when I am working with clients and I see that they keep breaking up with their partners over and over again, I see that they are attached to them for the wrong reasons.
The love is certainly there, but at this point the love is more destructive than it is constructive… This of course does not benefit you and it can quickly become a very draining experience. So people often come to me and ask about how to know if a breakup is final, especially because they’ve broken up so many times before.
The first thing I tell them to do is to pay attention to behavioral patterns. If they are able to change their behavioral patterns and reactions, the other person is usually able to do the same thing.
Signs a breakup is permanent: When you see the relationship as toxic
The first sign a breakup is final is when you or your partner (or both of you!) realize that this situation is not healthy and is has been making you deeply unhappy.
As I started to say above, keep an eye out for a sense of peace in the way that your ex communicates with you. If it looks like they’ve come to terms with the end of the relationship and that they’ve accepted it, it could be the last breakup. If they are no longer fighting against you OR for you, and they seem to have taken a neutral stance, it can mean that they’ve detached themselves from this relationship and have accepted its end.
What I do want you to keep in mind is that it isn’t always a horrible thing. Breakups can open the door to something new in your life – unprecedented happiness, new opportunities, growth, and evolution.
So if your ex is communicating with you in a way that show that they are no longer trying to put you down or prove something to you, and you can see that they’ve found peace in the situation, it can be a pretty telling sign that the breakup is final.
How to know if a breakup is permanent: Exhaustion
One of the biggest signs a breakup is final is when one of you, or both of you, feel like you just can’t do this anymore. It’s been so emotionally and physically taxing that you just feel like you have nothing left to give to this relationship.
One of my clients told me recently that she had mentally and emotionally given so much to this man that she felt like she literally had nothing left to give him, and that was when she knew that it was time to let go of this relationship. She had explored all the avenues for trying to making it work, she did everything she possibly could, and then she realized that she had no regrets and was ready to accept that she was ready to stop trying.
When a person reaches that point of exhaustion because they’ve experienced such intense emotions and highs and lows, it’s a big indicator that this is the last breakup.
Multiple breakups: how to tell it’s final
At this point, you’re probably worn out from the emotional roller coaster you’ve been on. In my experience as a love and relationship coach, I have very seldom seen a situation like this in which one of the two people involved is actually happy. If your ex has been pushing and pulling you and subjecting you to multiple breakups, you’re probably exhausted.
It’s hard to see a solution when you’re in the thick of it and you could be left feeling pretty powerless and frustrated right now. Perhaps both of you have accepted that this is a very volatile relationship and that it could never be any other way… So if you feel like you want this person back after many breakups, I encourage you to take some time to analyze what exactly you want and why you want to be with this person.
We always tell the people we help that in order to be in a solid relationship, it has to be you two against everyone else; not you two against one another.
When was the last time you both felt happy in the relationship and didn’t have this looking fear that one of you is going to leave the other?
If you’re wondering about how to tell if the breakup is final, just keep an eye on whether or not your partner has accepted the breakup, and whether or not they feel like they don’t need the disfunction on this relationship in their life.
If you’re seeing signs a breakup is final, it’s ok to let go
Breakups have a negative connotation because people rarely talk about how they can sometimes be a very good thing. Oftentimes, when you’re going through a breakup, you feel that it’s a terrible thing because the outcome is different from what you had planned.
But I’d like to remind you that sometimes things get shaken up in your life simply so that the pieces can fall back down in the right order and set you on a better path towards happiness.
Ultimately, it is possible to turn things around after multiple breakups. I have personally coached many people who wanted to get back together with their partners and have been able to cultivate a new relationship that is better than it ever was before. It is just crucial that you take a step back and take a close look at your situation.
Do you honestly feel that this is the right person for you and you need help navigating through some recurring issues you’re having, or are you clinging to someone out of emotional dependency? Either way, we can work together and ensure that you find happiness once again!
Signs the breakup is temporary & what to do
If you’re realizing that this breakup doesn’t seem permanent at all and you’re hoping to salvage your relationship so that you can make it better than ever, I encourage you to reach out to us.
Getting back together after multiple breakups is possible. We are here to help you identify whether or not this is the end. We can help you determine whether or not pulling the plug on this relationship for good is the right way to go.
I know that this can all feel very overwhelming and frightening right now, but as long as you’re able to be honest with yourself and really analyze your situation, you’re going to find the solution.
If you do choose to pursue getting back together with this person for good, this site has a plethora of tool and techniques on getting back together with an ex available to you. From Radio Silence to the Handwritten Letter, to studying human psychology and one on one coaching, you’ll find everything you need to know right here.
If you have any questions at all, please don’t hesitate to leave them in the comments section below and it would be our pleasure to personally respond to you!
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you’re looking for signs your breakup is final