As you know, a person’s ego takes a huge hit after a breakup. Everything you were working towards, everything you were sharing, and everything you loved about your partner is suddenly gone, and you’re left alone with your thoughts. This is when we fall into a negative spiral and our self esteem starts to really suffer. I work with so many people that come to me saying that they feel that all hope is gone, and that they think that there’s no way of getting their ex back now.
The truth is that anything is possible in love, but the first (and most important) step is learning how to love yourself again. Rebuilding your self confidence after a breakup is the path to success, whether or not you want to get back together with your ex! That is why I wanted to write this article for you today. I’m going to give you some tools for rebuilding your self esteem.
It’s easy to feel down in the dumps and have a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel when your heart has been broken. Just remember that you’re in control of your own happiness, and you can start to turn things around today just by taking action. You’re already on the right track because you’ve gone out of your way to find information on how to feel better. You’ve come to the right place!
How to love yourself after a breakup when you got dumped
It’s all too easy to internalize the breakup and let yourself believe that it was all your fault. Getting broken up with can leave a huge mark on a person’s ego, especially if it happened out of the blue.
Right now you might be feeling like you aren’t good enough, like you did everything wrong, and that there’s no hope for your future. I want you to start working on clearing these types of thoughts out of your mind.
In coaching thousands of men and women, I noticed something very interesting that people do when the person they love left them. They start to take all the blame. They start to think, “Ah I should have done this differently,” “I should have tried that,” or even, “Maybe if I didn’t do X Y or Z, things would be different now.”
They subconsciously start to take all the blame simply because that makes them feel better. How?
Well, if they can take the blame, and if they’re the root of the problem, then that would mean that they’re also in control of the solution, right?
While this may be true for some people, it’s very important that you don’t internalize the situation and view the breakup as a reflection of who you are if you are not the one who should be taking all the blame. Instead, it’s time to start working on how to love yourself after a breakup.
A breakup is made up of two people, and if there were issues, then both people played a role. Don’t forget that a relationship is a two way road. Now, it is very important that you take the time to identify what you could have done differently and what you can do to ensure that you don’t end up making the same mistakes again in the future – whether it’s with your ex or with someone else.
The first step in all of this is to start becoming more active in your personal life. I know that right now, you might just want to hole up in your apartment with snacks sitting in front of the TV, but I can tell you right now that that’s not going to help you start loving yourself more.
Yes, you can give yourself some time to be on your own and work through your emotions, but don’t isolate yourself. You can let the tears flow when they need to, but don’t let your sadness control you.
Think about picking up old hobbies that used to bring you joy. When we are in a relationship, we often lose ourselves and allow our lives to become centered around the other person. That is one of the reasons why it’s so hard to go through a breakup – you can end up feeling like you’ve lost yourself. So now it’s up to you to remind yourself of all the love you deserve!
Take some time now to really think about what elements of your personal life got put on the back burner while you were in this relationship. What things did you end up neglecting?
Your family members
Your professional goals… etc
Start dedicating your time to doing these things again. Challenge yourself to get busy. Trust me, the busier you are with things that being you joy, the better you’re going to feel. The better you feel, the more you’re going to be reminded of who you are and what you love. When you start taking care of these things, you’ll be taking care of yourself, and you’ll begin loving yourself more and more.
You have to challenge yourself to remain busy.
When it comes to finding yourself after a breakup, another fantastic tool is focusing on helping others. By spending time making other people happy, you’ll start to feel better as well. Think about what little things you can do on a daily basis to bring a smile to someone’s face.
For example, could you spend more time with your family? Why not prepare a meal for your parents or your grandparents one evening. By putting your energy into doing something nice for other people, you’ll be reminded of the joy you can bring into peoples’ lives, which will in turn boost your self esteem and your self confidence.
I like to give my clients a little challenge: Give yourself the goal of making three people happy on a daily basis. You don’t have to do any grand gestures; it can be as simple as saying good morning to someone behind the counter in a store.
Sometimes, people come to me for help because they feel like they’ve made a fool of themselves after the breakup and don’t know how to bounce back from it…
How to be happy after a breakup when you’re feeling embarrassed
Maybe you acted in a way that you regret during the breakup, maybe it was during the relationship… Maybe you recently drunk dialed them, or said something you probably shouldn’t have after a few too many drinks. Perhaps you ran into them and accidentally made a fool out of yourself. Whatever may have happened, whatever reason you might have for being embarrassed right now, rebuilding confidence after a breakup is key, and in order to do that you have to understand that whatever happened isnt the end of the world.
You can absolutely turn things around again. It’s kind of like quitting smoking. If you did all the word to quit and you ended up having a cigarette last night, does it mean that all hope is lost? Or are you going to just start over and continue working towards your goal?
The choice is always yours. You just need to hold on to faith in yourself.
If you are working on getting your ex back, just start by using the no contact rule, and then you can reset, regroup, and restart. So many people confuse the process of getting back with an ex with doing what he or she needs. In reality it starts with you, and you need to do things that are in YOUR best interest. Rebuild a positive relationship with yourself by introducing new activities into your life that bring you joy, work on finding longterm solutions for any shortcomings you’ve identified throughout this breakup, and know that you are in charge of your own happiness.
You are deserving of love, and these types of experiences help us to get on the right path towards happiness and truly learning how to love yourself.
I know that each person’s situation is unique, so if you would like personalized help and motivation after a breakup, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with us directly here, and we can give you a custom action plan that will launch you towards success.
Based on the thousands of people that I’ve coached, I can confidently say that the outcome of this situation starts and ends with no one other than you!
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach for working on yourself after a breakup
I Know We Are Meant To Be!
Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love... for good!