The process of getting an ex boyfriend or girlfriend back can be challenging, and this is even more so the case when your ex has moved on. People often ask me about what to do when an ex in a new relationship, and what that means for their breakup recovery process. Does it mean that all hope is lost? Is there a way to tell if this new person is just a rebound? Are there certain do’s and don’ts that can help a person reach their goal?
All of the articles that we write on this website are inspired by questions that our clients ask us either in our one-on-one coaching sessions or in the comments section below our articles and videos. I received an email from someone just this morning who was wondering about what to do in this type of situation. She asked, “Is my ex happy in his new relationship? What can I do to win him back?”
Today’s article is going to answer this question and provide you with tips and tools on how to proceed.
Is your ex in a serious relationship or a rebound relationship?
One of the things you’re probably wondering about is whether or not your ex is now in a rebound relationship. Has he found the real deal with this person or is she just helping him get over you? Is he really happy with her? There are a couple of indicators to keep an eye out for that can help you answer this question.
When he chooses someone else over you, you can receive a pretty sizable blow to the ego. Unfortunately, you might even find yourself comparing yourself to “your replacement,” but this isn’t going to get you anywhere.
Before I go over the signs that he is in a rebound relationship, I want to bring your attention to one thing. You cannot judge how happy your ex is in his new relationship based on what you see on social media. We all try to portray ourselves in the best light on social media, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that life is all sunshine and rainbows. Many of the people who post the most impressive pictures of themselves on social media actually not happy at all. So before we go any further, please don’t assume that your ex is happy in love based off of what he posts on Facebook and Instagram.
So regarding whether your ex is in a rebound relationship, let’s take a look at the signs. Fortunately for you (if you want to get back together with your ex), rebound relationships rarely last. They usually serve as a Band-Aid to distract a person from the pain of the breakup, but generally speaking, they are short lived.
How to know if your relationship is over forever or if it’s just a rebound
The first thing to take a look at when you’re wondering something along the lines of, “Does my ex miss me, or is he in a serious relationship that isn’t going to disappear” is the amount of time that is passed since the breakup between you took place. Did your ex get together with this new person just a few weeks after you broke up? Feelings don’t disappear into thin air overnight, and if your ex is already dating someone new so soon, but it is highly likely that he is trying to keep you off of his mind…
Signs your ex is pretending to be over you and happy in his new relationship
Another way to identify what’s going on here is to take a look at the person your ex is dating. Is this person the complete opposite of you? Sometimes a person will try to overcompensate for the pain they’re feeling as a result of losing you by finding someone that is the polar opposite of you.
In their mind, they figure that the best way to get over you is to start dating the opposite of you. Their reasoning is that if the relationship didn’t work with you, then it has to work with someone who is nothing like you. At the end of the day, if your ex is using this person to help them get over you, then it means that the relationship is a rebound but it also means something else… Your exit still feels something for you!
Pay attention to how your ex is presenting his new relationship
This is why I want to bring your attention to social media. Is your ex posting about his new relationship left and right, and does it seem like he might even be trying to rub it in your face? If the relationship were to be very serious, he would feel less inclined to shout it from the rooftops as if he were trying to prove something…
Is he really happy without me?
Some time needs to pass after the breakup before reality really sets in, and for you to be able to tell for sure your ex is truly happy or if he’s relishing his newfound freedom and independence.
When a break up takes place, you are sent into a negative spiral. You see everything in a negative light, and it’s easy to assume that your ex is feeling super duper. You feel like you have lost everything and your ex has gained everything, but keep in mind that this is a false reality. You might assume that your ex doesn’t need you and is happy and fulfilled without you, but this might not be the case.
Your ex is also in a false reality and is not yet affected by the aftermath of the break up. He has been focusing on the things that he can gain right now (i.e. the new girlfriend) but is not focusing on what he risks losing.
This is exactly what we need to zero in on! You can change the dynamic in the situation if you start focusing on your own happiness…
How to make your ex start thinking about being happy with you
Instead of trying to read your ex’s mind and figure out whether or not he is happy in his new relationship, your focus should be on yourself. The key to success when you want to get an ex back, is transforming your own life. It’s not about how your ex feels; it’s about how you feel. Restoring your self-confidence and becoming the new and improved version of the person that your ex love with is what will get his attention.
Again, the love that existed between you does not disappear overnight.
To put it simply, if you are focusing on your ex’s happiness, you are not doing the right thing! Fixating on that is only going to hinder you from your own personal growth. The more you do this the harder it becomes to reach your goal of getting this man back.
The best way to make him want you back is to actually establish that you are happy without him. It is not by begging and pleading or doing everything you can to stay close. You have got to think about what elements of your personal life got put on the back burner while you were in this relationship, what people, activities and projects got neglected, and what you can do to start reintroducing these elements into your life.
You can’t lay around on the couch allowing yourself to become depressed, imagining your ex with someone else! Go out and grab life by the horns, spend time with your friends and family, move forward at work, pick up old hobbies, and make your life the way you want it to be! This is exactly how you catch your ex’s eye and make them realize, “I was a fool for leaving…”
For some more in-depth information on how to get an ex back, I encourage you to read this article. You can also get in touch with us and we can guide you from A-Z. As a team of dedicated love and relationship experts, we specialize in getting people back together. By asking you targeted questions, we can define perfect approach that will get you closer to your goal in no time.
If you have any questions at all, please don’t hesitate to leave them in the comments section below and it would be our pleasure to get back to you.
Wishing you all the best in life and love
Your coach when you’re wondering, “Is my ex happy in any relationship,”