Some people, and I’m sure you know some of them, think that the idea of wanting to get back together with an ex is completely ridiculous and even stupid (to put it nicely…)
Ok but to be perfectly honest, if you’re talking about someone you met at the club last week and you spent two or three days together, then making a valiant effort to get back together might not be the best option. But that’s just a small percentage of cases. In general, when a person says “I want to get back together with my ex” it’s because their relationship was serious and they had built something special together.
You have kids, a house, and you’ve shared your life and now just because some people say the idea is silly, you’re going to give up on trying to be together again? You’re going to sit with your arms crossed waiting for time to heal your wounds? Be confident in yourself and take responsibility for your choices! No, your colleagues at work, your friends or your cousin aren’t going to be able to put themselves in your shoes and feel what you’re going through. How can I be so sure? Because you’re on my site looking for useful and effective advice on how to get your ex back. This is a period filled with uncertainties and you’re asking yourself a million questions because you have to figure out what exactly is making you want your ex back after they left and hurt you so deeply.
“My ex is the only one for me” I have lost track of the number of times I’ve heard this sentence. You can’t imagine your future without this person at your side. What does this mean and what should you do about it? I’ll go into detail about exactly that throughout this article.
“The One” Is this a real thing?
It’s important to note that not only teenagers use this terminology. You shouldn’t view it as something juvenile because that would be a mistake. When you begin a family together, you build a home together, you consider them as the love of your life and you want to spend the rest of your life together even if you don’t specifically say it. In marriage, this notion is present as you’re talking about being together “until death do us part.”
Of course you could spend the rest of your life with the person you’re currently sharing it with. If my grandparents were married for over 60 years it means that that’s totally possible. Even in today’s day and age “True Love” exists and it’s not a thing of the past! Of course it’s not a simple thing to tell someone, “You’re The One” because that signifies a great deal, but as soon as the relationship becomes serious and you’re experiencing something very strong, you begin hoping that it will last forever.
There’s nothing wrong with feeling something incredibly strong for a man or a woman and wanting to spend many years by their side. You have projects and desires and it’s completely normal to want to bring them to life with this person and no one else. Unfortunately a breakup has taken place and you’re having trouble moving forward; possibly because you’ve found The One and this is true love!
My ex is the only one for me and I know it!
For a lot of people, this type of reasoning and considering their significant other as the love of their life could signify some serious emotional dependence. On top of your strong emotions, even if what you feel is very sincere, this could be a sign of some fragility. If you’re familiar with the articles on my site, you already know that emotional dependence is one of the biggest afflictions in a relationship and in the process of getting back together.
After a breakup people sometimes say that their ex was The One to make them come back. You might even say that you can already see your future together and that you’re nothing without them. One might think that saying things like this would be beneficial because you’re declaring your love for the person, but in reality you’re risking rubbing them the wrong way and making them want to get even further away from you. By doing this, you’re placing too much pressure on your ex!
Of course you have every right to think my ex is the only one for me but this is something to keep to yourself for now. If you tell them or if you start being needy, your attempt at getting back together will have a much smaller chance of success.
Don’t get too carried away with your first love
As I mentioned above, you tend to make some big mistakes when you’re feeling such intense emotions for someone and you want to do whatever it takes to make your feelings known to them. Your first love will never be forgotten but it’s also very important to keep both feet on the ground.
Your ex is probably perfectly aware of the fact that you love them but this isn’t what’s going to make them come back! You’ve already tried some things to get a reaction from them and maybe you’ve already told them what you’re feeling. There is no need to repeat yourself and this is definitely not want they want from you. Oftentimes in this situation, you have the tendency to take things way too fast; you want to get married, you want to live together, or in any case you make certain initiatives…but brash decisions are not beneficial.
You have to respect the rules of getting back together that I have designed that have already helped thousands of people. Instead of going to a jeweler to give your ex an unaffordable gift, it would be better to focus on understanding the breakup. Once you’ve done this, you’ll know what actions would be useful in your situation (like radio silence or the handwritten letter) and you’ll know how to properly rekindle the flame!
My coach when realizing that my ex is the only one for me.