Some breakups don’t happen as a result of lack of love but rather because of outside factors. Problems with your in-laws, cultural differences, distance…
So it’s not the “routine” or weariness that develops between you; it’s something even more insidious that is developing between you and the person you love with all your heart. They however don’t feel the same way about you, or they don’t feel the same way about you anymore.
Even though things seemed to be going fine in the first weeks, months, or maybe even years (despite a few fights that are common in all relationships,) the person that is now your ex has announced that their feelings for you have disappeared.
How can you just stop being in love with someone? How can you go from love to indifference or even a platonic relationship? Did they ever truly love you? You start to question your entire past together and you don’t know how to act or what to say to them.
You feel lost and all you want to do is to understand… Secretly you’re hoping to revive their feelings for you. Not only are you asking yourself these questions, you’re not just reading this article to understand the situation; you want to know how to make your ex fall back in love with you.
Thinking, “my ex doesn’t love me anymore” is heartbreaking, and you can’t wait around doing nothing, especially if you don’t want to lose hope and if you believe in your relationship.
So if you really want things to change you’re going to have to use a powerful method because their love for you isn’t going to return with a flick of a magic wand.
So, there is an essential analysis phase before you start the process of trying to get back together. Once you’ve done this you will be able to determine the right actions to do and you’ll have to stick with it.
My ex doesn’t love me anymore and I want to know why?
Not so long ago your ex was sharing their feelings for you, their heart was open to you and they were telling you that they love you. I don’t want to twist the knife in the wound, but everything has changed… They decided to leave on the pretext that they don’t feel love for you anymore.
This is always a shock and it’s never easy to digest. Your ex-partner isn’t telling you this to hurt you or for fun; there are specific reasons that can explain love’s disappearance.
A relationship’s biggest enemy is routine; it’s one of the main things that kills love. You don’t do anything new, you spend your weekends separately, and therefore your bond is slowly being broken. Of course doing nothing can sometimes be relaxing and that’s fine, but you face a big problem when it becomes the basis of your relationship.
Even after many years of marriage, you shouldn’t think your partner’s feelings are in your pocket.
Now I’m not saying that you’re the only person at fault here! Your ex has their share of responsibility if they didn’t do anything to save your relationship. But you’re the one on my site and you know what the root of tension between you was and therefore the root of the biggest problems in your relationship, so it’s on you now to take action.
How do I revive my ex’s feelings for me if they don’t love me anymore?
People often have the annoying tendency to ask an ex “Do you love me?” and push them to confide in you. But you don’t have to act like this; you don’t have to base your actions on their reply especially if it’s negative because it’ll dishearten you.
This is the first thing to be careful of so that you don’t aggravate the situation. As a general rule you’re going to have to ban interrogations.
Next up, you’re going to have to show your ex the new you and avoid acting as if you were still together to get a reaction out of them. For example, you should play it cool and say something like, “I tried that new Indian restaurant and I’m sure you’d like it.
You should definitely check it out or if you want, we could go together and I can show you the best dishes!” You look calm and you don’t look needy, so you aren’t making any mistakes.
You’re showing your ex that you’re capable of getting through this, of experiencing new things. Of course my example should be adapted to your specific situation but by showing your ex that you’ve still got a taste for life and a new attitude you’ll be able to maximize your chances of getting back together. It’s essential to make a good impression on your ex!
If you can make the necessary distance between you so that you can think about the situation and show your ex that you’re not needy, they’re going to like this aspect of your personality and it will urge them little by little to make their way back to you. As we explain in detail in our on how to get back together with an ex.
Don’t expect passion within the first few days, but expect your ex to start taking notice. They need to be reassured, and they need to see how important the relationship is in your eyes. In many cases, this is usually an electroshock and it makes your ex think twice about the breakup.
To be clear, this is the moment in which your ex is going to start doubting their decision to leave, and you will have succeeded in the first step! When your ex no longer has feelings for you, it’s doesn’t mean that everything is lost, but you have to make some big changes.
A common tip to AVOID when you want your ex to love you again!
You don’t need a coaching session like one of mine to know that one of the most common methods people use when they’re thinking “My ex doesn’t love me anymore” is jealousy. You want to get a reaction but you also want to hurt them.
Let’s be honest, they probably broke your heart when they left you and you’re still suffering. Even if it’s on a subconscious level, you probably want them to feel what you’re going through. You don’t wake up in the morning thinking that you want to hurt them…. (Wait, do you?)
This is one of the biggest reasons why I tell you to be careful with trying to make your ex jealous. If you’re familiar with my philosophy then you know that it’s a risky thing to mess with. We have different options in this situation, so we’re going to do something different.
Yes your ex might come back if they see you with someone else but their desire to have you back might not last. They won’t return because of love; but because of their pride and you’ll be back in the same situation in no time.
Together we will be able to design the perfect plan of action to really bring about change and to make your ex make the first step for all the right reasons! You’re going to change and this is what will make all the difference.
Best wishes,
Coach when your ex falls out of love,
Adrian
70 Responses
my ex is from croatia and i’m from belgium one day he just left when i was on the job .
i kissed and hugged me the night before nothing was going on i tought .
but he says now he don’t loves me anymore and he don’t want to explain me why he left .
Hey Wendy,
Book a coaching session in order for us to speak via phone or skype. I need to understand the intricacies of your relationship in order for me to provide you with an explanation for his behavior and a game plan to win him back.
I hope to hear from you soon,
Adrian
Hey
My name is maria and I really need some help.. my boyfriend broke up with me we were in a relationship of 4 years..
He says that he doesn t love me anymore and after we broke up he started seeing a girl from his work.. This is the 6 month we are separated (and they are still together) but I really need him back in my life please I love him so much I dont want to lose him there must be a way to get him back please help me.. I’m capable of everything..
Hi Maria,
This is Coach Natalie, I’m the newest coach on the team. I really identified with your story and so wanted to reach out. Thank you for being willing to share your situation, I know it’s really painful to feel rejected or unloved by the person you value most. Please know that your boyfriend didn’t leave you for his co-worker, he left because he felt in some way you were not able to continue making him happy. If he is with someone, it is likely because he is receiving whatever this may be from that person, but it is not because he doesn’t love you. I encourage for you to dig deeply into the issues of your relationship in search of what was missing. That’ll be the first step toward getting him back. I really hope this helps. Feel free to check out the articles on our blog, they may be helpful, also!
Sincerely,
Natalie
Hi, my name is Martin. So my girlfriend broke up with me about one month ago now. We were dating for almost 4 years but when she first broke up with me she said that she needed to find herself and needed to fix the problems that she had. Well about 2 weeks after she asked for a break with me she texted me saying that she can’t do us anymore, that she had so much pain built up and has lost some of what she felt for me. She went on to say that she is happy by herself, she feels like we’ve grown apart and she doesn’t love me anymore. I think what hurt the most is that after I tried asking to fix this, she said she doesn’t have the passion or desire to be with me. I know that she said she was stressed, we argued quite a bit but nothing outrages, I was jealous over her past and I really wasn’t meeting her love language. Also she mentioned that the spark was gone and everything became a routine. I said I’ll change and I’m working on myself but she is saying that it’s to late. I’m so confused, I wanted to fix this and go to counseling but she doesn’t want to. I don’t know what to do anymore. I mean she’s said that if in the future she realizes that she let go of something great then she will live with that regret. I believe in our relationship and that we can bring the spark back but she doesn’t want to. Do you have any suggestions or tips?
Martin,
This is Coach Natalie and I’m so sorry to hear about your current situation. I know its very painful to feel like your ex doesn’t love you anymore. When you try to get back with an ex, you need to adopt the mentality that you aren’t trying to get your relationship back. You’re trying to build a new, stronger one. This being the case, your current no contact is not a deal breaker. This can be salvageable. Take this time to reflect on the dominant issues in your relationship and then find solutions to them. Doing this will help you re-attract your ex. If you need help, please reach out and we can book a session.
I hope this helps,
Coach Natalie
Hi, so like my boyfriend broke up with me three weeks ago before leaving for military school saying he didnt love me and that he had been lying to himself and me for long and forcing himself to love me. recently he had started getting a bit too short-tempered. but he loved me all along like crazy. he said the little fights that we had on petty issues have made him fall out of love now when he loves for miltary school it will completely disappear. and he was sobbing while breaking up. i love him a lot and he has loved me like crazy before he broke up with me but what he did to me was cruel. he even said he got attracted to other girls but i know there’s no one else because i have all his passwords.
please help me i want him back. this happened three weeks ago. he’s been in military school for two weeks now and he cant contact me from there he has no phone or laptop. but he will come back home after three months. what can i do it is killing me. please help me. i love him a lot he loves me too. i know that he loves me like crazy we were together for a year and everything was better than a fairytale except for petty fights every now and then. because of which he thought we are incompatible and he has fallen out of love
oh thats pretty bad, i really feel u, im in ur shoes right now, we had lots and lots of fights and i was the reason, and she said that shes out of love with me now and wants to be friends, it was pretty hurtful for me, please if u think u guys have a chance dont hesitate to contact him! contact him and let him know u love him, i hope he feel the same and love u back, if it didnt work it at least u know what to do… so before that contact him imo
Hello,
Me and my exboyfriend we’vebeen dating for 2years and 6months. but we broke up 1month ago. I’m now on my 10th day of no contact.
He was so distant before we broke up. always outside and returned home late. First, he was always with her cousin eating at the restaurant, drinking till late at night. I was always upset due to our work we couldn’t find time to meet each otherand seem to be distant. I was the first one who broke up with him because i was so angry he didn’t even bother to ask my day when i was ill. (my mistake i know)then 3days later he didn’t call so i called him, asked why he didn’t even contacted me (as the first time he did that, usually even the smallest thing we argued he always the one who wanted to fix things between us). shortly he said he wanted to be alone. he said there’s no one he likes, he just wanted to be at peace no responsability and even he told me if i found someone else it’s ok for him. i was hurt. so i gave him space but i broke it and asked him by chat if he’s still llove me and i can’t do it anymore and i want to give up on him then he asked to meet me. he was so sweet when we met and told that he now thinking to go with the flow. and because ego hits me that time told him that for now i was also like him going with the flow, then told him that someday if we still like each other maybe someday. then after that we were still chat each other.. till i felt that he was so distance and became colder than before, that he even only sent me goodmorning and goodnight message etc. so i broke it. i told him again i couldnt anymore that i give up on him. then i gone with the no contact till 5 days later he deleted all our pictures on facebook and added a girl he liked long time ago and he was with her before our first break up happened, he even invited her to his birthday.. then at his birthday i called him crying.. he was so cold. i can’t even remember what he said. but only one i know he doesn’t want to be with me, and told me his loss not mine that i shouldn’t be crying. i asked him why this happened and he said he didnt know with sad face. he always told me that he didn’t know why, he was just wanted to be alone.. etc.
then i hung it.. and go to no contact. now it is 10days.
i tried my best not to contact and stalked him but 2days later i was curious and stalk him again. he likes her pictures of this girl, commenting etc.
i don’t know what to do. will he come back? why is it that he moved on so fast? why ? ;(
Hey Rosella, I read your story. I hope you are doing better. A man doesn’t like to be told and nagged by their girlfriend. He is wrong to not value your time and he doesn’t appreciate you. So move on with your life. Improve yourself, educate yourself get a better job, go to fitness, find a better man. There are so many men out there. Believe me, when he sees the new you he will be begging to come back. You won.
Hi my ex and I broke up 2.5months ago after a year and a half together. We had the strongest connection I have ever seen- soul mates I have been told and would get déjà vu and both had a deep seated knowing this was the one. Two weeks before the breakup he proposed to me. Telling me he has never felt so much for a person. Then an ex of mine got involved and told him some lies. There was one thing I had lied to him (not cheating I have never cheated) it was very wrong of me to not have had more faith in him being accepting but I withheld it at the time thinking I was protecting him because he has had so much hurt in the past. With what one of my exes said and a few other nasty ppl who were jealous he became very hurt and confused and fled back home overseas without talking to me.
He blocked me on everything. I of course did all the wrong things begging pleading explaining – and he would sporadically engage in conversation via email. Telling me I am his one and only and I will always be special to him – but his pride won’t allow him to come back here and even tho this is killing him would kill him more to be with me as he would never trust me due to his past 😔 I have tried to explain that it isn’t something that could be repeated and my love is true and I would never ever hold something from him again – but he is so angry and confused and hurt and won’t allow me to fly over there and talk to him
I now haven’t heard from him in a week and he told a friend he is missing me but he wants to change his phone number and email etc so he can’t hear from me 😔
I love this man more than the world and my life has fallen apart since he left – I know with a chance I could earn his trust back and show him the love and build something new and stronger – we completed each other – he however doesn’t believe I really loved him that was all a lie.
I don’t know what to do 🙁 I can’t go on without him – when he talks to me angry he tells me that he doesn’t love me anymore and wants nothing to do with me I’m poison – but tells others he misses me
Is there any hope – has been months and I’m so concerned he is getting further away from me 😔
Hi Hurt and Lonely,
Thank you for your share. It can be really painful when wondering if you ex still loves you and can envision himself with you. Without know more to your story, however, it’s going to be difficult to assess. I encourage you to book a session with Adrian and myself and we can develop a firm action plan for you.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
my ex never loved me he only really like me we were together for 4 months And broke up 5 months ago he left me because he said I kept trying to fix something that wasn’t broken and I annoyed him he’s able to not care about anything so he has no feelings for me anymore and says he doesn’t see us getting back together I’ve also made a mistake and we have done some “things” after we broke up I really miss him if I can get him to like me again things would go so much better how do I get someone to like me again when they shield their emotions?? Just trying to get him to like me again is close to impossible
Hi Kakashi, thank you for this insight and for being willing to share your story. I know how much this can hurt, especially when you’re doubting if your ex still loves you and what to do next. I would like to know more about your situation, so I can help. I invite you to book a session with either Adrian or myself, so we can support you.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
My ex left because he suffers depression and wants to play video games all day than work he will say he wants to and then change his mind I pushed for him to make changes and we had lots of rows we never did anything as a couple and with 8 kids 5 are his 3 are from my previous marriage everything just felt very strained I accept my faults and acknowledge I need to make changes but he said he doesn’t like me or our house of life we had anymore it was a 7 yr relationship I feel lost and guilty for the argument
My ex lost all his feelings because of me trying to convince him to come back to me. It annoyed him so much, even when we met 3 months after the break up, he didn’t get the same feelings anymore. Just said we were both living our lives ( it was in distance) and they don’t seem to connect. Now we’re practically nothing since we don’t fit in each others lives anymore…
Hi Patzels, I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how painful this is. I encourage you to give the relationship some time. If pressing to get back annoyed him, you need to give another approach a shot. If you want t o develop a strategy, I invite you to book a session with me.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
my ex dumped me 6feb2017(2yr2mth relationship),i moved out 19feb cos i saw whatsapp messages between a older guy and her and they started lovey dovey messages on 18feb.THey have met from 31dec2016.to make things worse,initially,i did the usual pleading,begging and reasoning but all she said was she dont see a future with me and after 2yrs2mths,she dont have the urge to marry me.SHe said there isnt any 3rd party involved.We have never quarreled much over 2yrs(maybe 5times) except some small squabbles over my insecurities and we discussed it and we actually worked on it..(i worked on it)
She went on a date with the older guy on Valentine’s day when im still in the house.The guy has even sent her to and fro work on several occasions and she claims he is just a friend.During the last few days,she actually mentioned she is open to dating much older guys as her past includes me(2yrs older) and her ex hubby(3yrs older).she is 38 and the the other guy is 51.
I am in NC since 19feb and recovering but i do want her back…and i using my spare mobile can see her and the other guy is constantly chatting.
i have to admit,i was a needy and insecure guy and im currently seeking hynotherapy and past life transgression(PLT) to help me overcome all those insecurities.I do hope with a stronger mindset and newer me,i can win her back.
Do give me advice on where to proceed and when to approach her again.
Hi Determined Guy,
Thank you for your share. I know you’re feeling like your ex doesn’t love you anymore and what it is you should do. This is a very painful situation to be in. I invite you to book a session with me, so we can make iron out these issues. I do find your relationship fixable, but it will take time and effort.
Wishing you the very best always,
Coach N.
Hi TB316,
Thank you for your share. I feel that if you were arguing a lot, than the breakup shouldn’t have been a surprise. I encourage you to take a step back and determine what was causing all the arguments. I feel that if you can identify this, you’ll be able to correct it and maximize your chances to get her back.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
My ex and I recently cut it off and have been trying to casually talk the past couple weeks. we were together for about 2 years up until things started going a little weird around December 16’/Jan 17′. In Jan I told her that I wanted to be a little selfish an enjoy time on my own and with my friends but she had a very very hard time with that. She thought I was talking to another woman (a friend of a friend) but I wasn’t. I had told her nothing was going on I just literally needed time for myself to regenerate especially considering this time around last year my parents announced they were getting a divorce.
Through Jan-late Feb we talked very little but still kept in touch. Most of the time was her giving me a hard time, calling me horrible names which drove me away from her. Up until Feb 25 she emailed me and we started talking again. I was back and I felt ready to spark things up again but this time she wasn’t. She said she wanted to be on her own and fix herself now. I know what she was going through now. I feel really bad and I can’t let go at all. She hardly shows any interest and I’ve been trying to casually talk to her but she barely replies to me anymore.
I seriously want to be back with her but I don’t know what to do. Very heartbroken at the moment.
One last thing, we recently kissed each other less than a week ago and she said that I shouldn’t do that. I told her I was sorry and she acted like everything was suddenly okay and we are still friends.
Should I give her her time and be gone for a little. I’ve read a lot about the no contact method but I’m in no emotional place to be able to do that.
Don’t really want to mention my name or any names. Please understand.
Hi John Doe,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. It’s normal to feel like you do, when you’re stuck thinking your ex doesn’t love you anymore and you’re wondering why and what you should do. I encourage you to take a step back from the situation and let her miss you. There’s no much power in yearning for someone. Don’t be afraid to let a bit of time go by – don’t assume every contact is the last one. Trust this. If you want tailored help, I invite you to book a session with me. I’d love to work with you.
Best,
Coach N.
21
Long story short, my ex girlfriend broke up with me a little while ago after 3 years together. After lots of pleading and unsuccessful attempts to save it, we both agreed on space and time apart. We argued a lot and I just ended up pushing her fighter away. She said she would give me this chance to show her I can respect her and be mature, and that she wanted to talk after some time apart and try to talk things over. She said she wasn’t ruling out the possibility of us in the future. I know she is talking to another guy, however they haven’t done anything and she said she doesn’t know what she wants. So I am guessing if I keep pleading her it will push her further towards him. I am going overseas in 4 weeks time for a holiday. Should I contact her before I go, or wait until I am back? Is no contact my best option? What do I do I truly love her
Hi Mark,
I encourage you to go no-contact. It’s the best way for her to realize the weight of her decision. If you need support, I invite you to book a session with me. I’m here to support.
Best,
Coach N.
Was with a guy for half a year he cheated on me often about a week before the breakup he finally decided to get his act together but I was still arguing with him daily he asked for a break he became distant he told me I deserved better and he left me after a week of no contact I tried reminding him of how he loved me and that I still loved him he told me it would be best for me to just forget about him but I can’t I love him I know he did me wrong but he was my very 1st everything and I just want him to come back and love me how he used to
Hi Jackie,
I’m sorry to hear about what you’re going through. I invite you to really give the relationship some space. This doesn’t have to be forever, but I think he’ll really gain some insight on his actions and your feelings. If you need help with this, please book a session and we’ll maximize your chances at turning this thing around.
Best,
Coach N.
My bf broke up with me yesterday for no reason only because I said “what’s the point of being in a relationship if you not going to say it back”, I had texted him Wednesday and told him that I love him and he never said it back. We broke up a couple of times and got back together last week. I even went over to his house trying to talk about it, but he didn’t want to look at me, just got upset when I showed up. Now, I’m writing him trying to work this out again, but he’s acting funny and all. He’s so sensitive about anything I say to him. What should I do, I don’t want to move on, I have strong feelings for him.
Hi Mustafa,
Thank you for your share and I”m sorry to hear about your current situation. I invite you to spend this time identifying what caused her to distance herself. I feel if you can delve into this reflection, you’ll find a lot of ways you salvage this relationship. If you need help, I can guide you on what to do. I invite you to consider booking a session with me.
Wishing you the best always,
Coach N.
My bf and I were in a long distance relationship for two years. I moved up to the state he lives (far enough that it’s still long distance but we discussed him finding work closer to where I am when the timing was right). He spent a month living with me when he had time off work. I told him I wanted him to move back to my hometown after a year but if that wasn’t possible then I’d do long distance again until the timing was right for him to come. After that month when he returned to work the communication died off. He was taking longer to reply to my messages and when he did the responses were brief. I knew something was off. He initiated a break a few weeks later and then almost two months later he broke up with me saying he had fallen out of love with me. He said he had started getting annoyed with little things I did when he came to visit. I’m still shocked. I moved to a different state for this man. We were so different personality wise but we learnt so much from each other and shared the same values. We got along so well. I still don’t know what happened. I don’t understand how he could fall out of love when until recently we were still exploring a future together and socialising with each other’s family and friends. I’ve initiated no contact for 17 days now. I want him to see the errors of his ways. I have written him a letter telling him the reasons I’m grateful for him being a part of my life but I’m too scared to send it. I want to initiate contact but I want him to have the space to reflect and realise how great we were together. Is this the right approach? I see a future with this man. He made me so incredibly happy. I juat want to know I’ve done everything I can to give this relationship the best chance of succeeding. Any advice would be much appreciated.
My ex boyfriend and i have been on and off this is the third time hes broken up with me and its different than the last two times because hes emotionless this time around hes told me that he doesnt love or care about me that I’ve hurt him more than anything in this relationship and i know i was difficult and hard to handle but ive loved him more than anything and he says that when he thinks about me he feels nothing and he seems fine and is flirting with other girls is there any possible way of getting him back? Hes telling me he doesnt see a future for us and that hes certain hes not coming back this time because of how bad I’ve hurt him
Me and my ex broke up a year ago almost and it devestated me because she told me she didn’t think she ever loved me that I was just there for her. That she lied to herself for so long. We stopped talking but I missed her and her two sons since I helped raise them from infancy ( not my blood). Over the year we kept contact on and off. I’ve always had feelings for her and still miss her while she seems distant but at time she looks happy when I’m around. I recently went on a trip with her and the kids to San Diego zoo to see all the animals after that I asked her on a date and she said no. Gave no reason but just no. We continue to talk every couple of days very small talk. But I miss her and want to be back with her. Help me 🙁
My long distance bf of 3 years and I decided to go our seperate ways just two days ago. We actually officially broke up a month ago because he said he had feelings for another girl and he didn’t want to continue to hurt me, but we still continued to talk and we both decided we still missed each other and wanted to try again, except I cut off all things sexual until I could trust him again (like sending nudes or initiating phone sex). The day before we decided to go our seperate way he seemed a bit distant, he wasn’t messaging me as much and when he got online (like discord or skype) he wouldnt message me or ask if I wanted to play some games. I told him I was confused on what he wanted because just a day before this he was all sweet and calling me baby on video chat. So the day I brought it up to him I asked him “what do you want?” And he said “I don’t know.” So I made the decision for us that we should move on and he just said “Suree.” It didn’t hurt as much at the time but looking back on it it does. How can he just give up all we had? Like it was nothing? The next two days he didn’t even message me only if I iniated it first and when we got on skype so he could help me w my homework he seemed so cold and condescending. Now today he hasnt messaged me at all and i’ve been crying non stop, I know I shouldnt miss him but I do. He also got a new job so ofc he’s gonna move on 10x faster than I will.. hes gonna have new friends and maybe even a potential new gf. The distance was NC to TX but I never cared and I always thought he was worth the wait. I turned down so many guys here just so I could wait for him. I want him to want me back and I want him to realize what we had but apart of me is scared.. Yes him and I were completely different. He was more into finance, business and guns and I was more into animals, art and music. He was a Taurus and I was a Leo but we made it work for so long I hate that he can just drop it so easily.. The first time we broke up he seemed unsure and told me he regrets doing it, but the second time.. I feel like he’s gone for good and I just want him back. I’m debating whether I should send him a letter.. maybe that would touch him in some type of way. What should I do?
Hi Vanessa,
Thank you for reaching out to me and for sharing your story.
There are no guarantees here, as your situation is a complex one…but I do believe that I can help you maximize your chances of making it work – and I do think that it is possible to turn everything around.
I would recommend that you book a one hour private coaching session in order for me to respond to all of your questions, provide you with insights and a clear way forward.
I sincerely hope to hear from you soon.
Coach N.
My bf of 2 years broke up. He was very cruel during the break up i was devastated. He told me he didn’t love me anymore and that he wasn’t as attracted to me anymore. 🙁 its my fault i was insecure and I had anxiety . We argued all the time but now I’m going to talk to someone about where my anxiety comes from alot of child hood abuse and relationship abuse, and get help for myself. Any chance I’ll ever get him back?
my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. We broke up because he told me he told me I’m too jealous and he wasn’t attracted to me anymore. We have bee trying over and over but we always end up fight and him getting mad at every little thing. We are in a long distance relationship and i’m about to see him in 3 weeks. But he doesn’t want me to fly and see him anymore. I try to convince him for us to see each other and see if we can rekindle our love and he said we cant because he doesn’t love me anymore. i been begging him and saying If he could decide after the trip. I still want to go see him. I live in Canada and he lives in Mexico. I know its a little dangerous but his the one i want to make these work with. I know i have to change my ways to get him back. I know know how to try to convince if we been trying to fix us for so long now. what should i do? The trip is in 3 weeks how can i convince him that we still have something?
Hi Nancy,
I’m Coach Natalie, thanks for tuning into our YouTube channel. I’m really caught up with work today, because at 1PM EST today, we’re hosting a free live webinar on how to secure a date with your ex after the breakup. If you’re free in just over an hour, I invite you to tune in – I feel you’ll gain some additional insight on your situation. Here’s the link: https://app.webinarjam.net/login/12738/c3c54a57ee/-1/live
Hoping to meet you soon,
Coach N
Sorry i missed the webinar. I have 1 week till i go see him.. he doesn’t want me to come at all and he told me he would leave me at the airport… what should i do do… Should i go on and see him? again this is in Mexico and i dont know Spanish. i dont know how to convince him. he tells me his 100% done and that i need to leave him alone. Im super stress out and i dont know what i should do. I really need help… Im leaving on July 18th and will be there for 12 days alone if he doesn’t come.
Hi me and my girlfriend broke up cos I’m to paranoid and jealous I’m trying to change my way around her but she dosent belive everything I say now we’re doing long distance relationship and
Hi me and my ex boyfriend broke up over a year ago, we were together for two years and he broke up because he wasn’t no feeling the same and there were too many arguments, after the breakup he dated someone else -and we stopped talking from august till about febubabry so around 7months and then he contacted me and he broke up with her because he he told me he still loved me and couldn’t get over me, we then started talking and now he’s saying the love has changed he doesn’t have the partner love for me anymore and I’m not that special girl I used to be he says he wants to keep me as a friend but it’s up to me if I stay or go, I want him back and I don’t know what to do because he knows I want us to be together but says with his mindset right now there isn’t a chance of us being together and we will only be together if his mindset changes in the future..what do I do to make sure it changes ?to get him back?
Hi Jennifer,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing you’re story – I know how painful this is. I do feel, though, that there are things you can do to re-spark his interest in you and in the relationship. I can help you here, but it will require us to speak one-on-one, so I can learn a few more things. I invite you to schedule a session by visiting this link: http://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching
Once I receive your booking, I’ll reach out immediately and we’ll get started.
I’m excited to touch base,
Coach N
Hi me and my ex broke up about 2 months ago he dumped me all of a sudden and said I want putting in effort when I was then he stoped talking to Me and was rude to me then the next day he got a gf then they broke up and he came back talking to me now we are friends but I told him I stil love him and all he said was ok and I found out he said he never wants to date me again and he dosent love me anymore and I still love him but he even said If over gods power I fancy her again I won’t date her tho I don’t get it 🙁 he told his mates he burnt the stuff I got him when we stopped talking to
Hi me and my ex broke up recently,we were together almost 3 years.He told me he isn’t in love with me anymore, and doesnt want to be in a realtionship right now.He is trying to get his career going and figure himself out which I totally understand.He has gone through a lot in his life in a short amount of time. I love his so much still I feel like he’s my soulmate and I don’t want to just give up on our relationship.I’ve been so devestated, hurt and depressed about it.What do I do to get him back?
Hi Sabrina,
Thanks for reaching out and I’m glad that you respect him enough to listed to him. Give him space – you can return to him later. If you need help with how to get your ex back, I can guide. I invite you to schedule a session with me.
Best,
Coach N.
I would like to schedule a session with you Natalie.I love my ex still and don’t want to lose him
Hi Sabrina,
Thanks for reaching out. I’d love to work with you. Please visit this link to schedule : http://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching
Best,
Coach N
Uhh hi guys… The reason why I’m here it’s just like yours obviously
I broke up with my bf last year. I left him because I needed some space, there were a lot of things going on, anyway… I went back to him after few months and he was confused first and didn’t know what to do so I gave him space but every time I wrote to him he started getting colder and colder… His excuse now: you left me and you came back to me, this doesn’t make sense. You played me, it’s over! Days ago I texted to him again and he was being mean
I really love him but it’s so obvious he doesn’t
I can’t get over him IDK what to doo
I have one year that I tired to get over him but…. Plese somebody….
Hi Andrea,
Thank you for reaching out and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. It seems to me like this relationship could use even a bit more space – because he shouldn’t feel able to speak about it in this way. If you two want to start over, then it must really start over.
Best,
Coach N.
Why does an ex hold onto gifts or items you gave them while we were in a relationship if the ex doesnt want anything to do with us anymore?
Hi Meeka,
Maybe they still honor and value the relationship you two shared. This could be viewed as endearing.
Best,
Coach N
My ex broke up with me almost 5 months ago…and I am still crying over him. We were together for six years. I still don’t understand why he broke up with me because I can tell he still really cares about me. He even asked me the other day “If we did get back together, you think it would be the same”?
He also comes and goes. He gets in contact with me for a few weeks, and then all of a sudden he is gone like he fell off the place of the planet. I honestly don’t know what to do at this point. Help?
Hi Kiley,
Thanks for reaching out, and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. The fact that he’s reaching out and questioning whether or not things will be different puts you in a positive position. However, will things actually BE different is what you should be really reflecting on.
If you need help determining, I invite you to schedule a coaching session with me. I can help.
Best,
Natalie
Hello,
My husband ask me for a divorce last Tuesday, he’s reason he says he no longer loves me. He likes me as a friend. Note we just had a baby 4 months ago. When we met I got pregnant right away and he had no intention of being in relationship because he likes to be alone and have causal flings nothing serious but the more time we spent with each other every day he feel in love with me. And we ended up getting married. 5 months into my first pregancy our son was born premature and pssed away 2 weeks later. He didn’t cry or anything he hold his feelings inside never communicated. 2 months later I was pregnant again and although he didn’t want the baby because he was still in shock over the death of our first son, he still supported me in my second pregnancy. 6 weeks ago I caught him googling “why am I getting tired of my wife.” Then when I got upset and started crying he said it was a phase he was going through and he felt depressed. But he didn’t mean it. So we carried on like nothing happen. Now he say he doesn’t love me and doesn’t want anything to do with me and I shouldn’t text him unless it has to do with my baby. I didn’t see this coming. I beg him for 5 days to give us a chance and no, he says he feels lost and wants to be alone. And we should have never gotten married. I love him so much what should I do? Everyone tells me to back off and stop begging him.
you cant force him to stay with you. if he doesnt even wants to try you should just let him go. I know its sad but I think its the only way and maybe in the future he might change him mind
I have been with a guy since 3 years & first 2 years he use to love me a lot.But things totally changed now.He wants to leave me saying he doesn’t have feelings for me.He come & goes everytime.He come back as if every thing is normal & suddenly again he says its over..he can’t act anymore.he says he was trying all time to get back the feelings but he is unsuccessful. What should I do to get back his feelings for me.He was the only one for me & I can never think of being with anyone else.He have changed since April 2017 & nothing is same from then.I can’t love anyone else ever.Please help me
Hi Nabanita,
Thanks for reaching out and I’m sorry to hear about this current situation – I know how painful it is. I invite you to really spend time wondering what happened. When did the relationship change? It’s in this answer that you’ll be able to turn things around.
best,
Coach Natalie
i have been with a guy for a year we were happy together…and he loved me..we regularly had fights as he was not paying attention and was not giving enough time as he did…then after a month he broke up with me…then i used NC rule and it did work he reached out to me and begged for a chance but the very second day he said he was not interested in me i felt bad and i went to him and he was not ready to answer or talk to me…i really messed it up do NC rule work again in my situation? will he reach out to me again? or he will hate me forever? please help me i really want him back
Hi Nandini,
Thanks for reaching out. I’m sorry to hear about this situation. Without knowing details, I can’t guide. I invite you to consider scheduling a coaching session with me – I’d love to help.
Best,
Natalie
Hi guys
Hoping you can help me I feel lost right now I was with my ex for five years and then we broke up this was me changing I turnt into such a spiteful nasty person and when I look back I hate who I was. I then went travelling to Australia to try get my life back on track I feel like a good happy person now and he also went to Australia we met a few times and we spoke daily when we have been apart. Then I came back to the UK it felt good seeing him but he seemed different and like he doesn’t want me around I think I pressurised him to see me he seemed different in himself. Few months have gone by he then told me he doesn’t want a relationship and that he feels differently about me than he did before. I know he still cares about me as texts me but it’s different he doesn’t want to see me in person. I feel so broken I feel I can’t function day to day and it is starting to break me down, I feel horrendous please someone give me some advice on what I should do. I love this man and want to spend my life with him
Hi guys
My ex broke up with me three months ago. The reason why he broke up with me was because he fell out of love, we eventually got back together to try to work things out and see if his feelings would come back but it didn’t work out and he broke up with me again. He was always a very lovable and romantic boyfriend to me. He tells me he loves me and cares for me, and we still talk on a daily. Sometimes he tells me maybe later in life we get together. He also wants me to be in his life but for me is harder because I’m still in love with him. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. Everytime we’re together, he tries to stay away from me but for some reason we end up together, hugging, kissing and having sex. It feels like we’re together but when we’re not together our texts be boring. Another thing he still gets jealous even though he doesn’t want to admit it. What should I do? I feel like we could get back together because he still has some feelings for me and cares for me like he tells me. And recently he been in so much trouble with the law and stressed out about college. He tells me he’s busy but I don’t know. What do you guys think? What should I do?
Hello Alejandra,
I know this time can be very difficult and confusing. I invite you to do a lot of self-reflection here with this relationship. He might be feeling a little confused and needs to feel an attraction. I encourage you to stop contact with him this means no kisses and sexual interactions. Devote your time to working out, or doing soemthing your passionate about. Stay postive, maybe even change your look a little bit and show him ultimate confidence. During this time of self-reflection I invite you to ask yourself if this is a good man for you.
Please feel free to download our Ebook if you need a little more guidance on what I mentioned above. Wishing you the best.
Regards,
Coach Adrian
Hello Farrah,
Thanks so much for your comment! I know right now can be confusing and difficult. I think giving him space and maybe enforcing no contact would be good in your situation. Since you are going to Singapore soon for some amazing things comming up I would focus on you and only you. Show him a positive side of Farrah and he will see your independence and determination. If you feel called to work with us please feel free to reach out. https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
Best,
Coach Adrian
Hello Farrah,
The best advice I can give you right now is to stop blaming yourself. Sometimes we cannot control other peoples actions and there is nothing wrong with you at all. You are amazing just the way you are. Just give him some space and focus on you.
Best,
WMEA Team
Farrah,
I know this is difficult and I have faith you can do this. Don’t lose track of who you really are. You are strong and you will get through this. You have a lot to offer and never give up on that.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Sabby,
I would take this time to do a little self-reflection. Your ex is right as he should never threaten to breakup if you speak up. It seems that you may have given him full control in this relationship. The only way things will get better is if you take this time to focus on your personal growth and I challenge you to look deep and ask yourself why you put up with this. Take this time to also do NC with your ex. We are here if you need anything in the future.
Best,
WMEA Team
Sabby,
Just thank him smile and move forward. I would recommend you show him happiness and don’t look at this as a big deal.
Best,
WMEA Team
I have continued no contact. Although he text me between Christmas and New Year and I replied. We spoke a little at work after new year. He cried, I cried. It cleared the air a bit. Someone told him a lie about me which I felt had to be cleared up. That’s all the contact we’ve had. A few days ago I found out my dad was very sick and was upset at work. He kept asking what was wrong but I brushed it off. My colleague told him and he messaged me saying he would do his best if I wanted to talk to him. I didn’t reply. I feel like I’ve lost him completely. I’ve joined a gym, planned new things, done everything I could to distract myself, but I still miss him.
Hello Hilde,
Thank you for your comment. It seems that there was a spark or an attraction lost in the relationship. Reflect on a time that this might have been lost and then try and establish a friendship with your ex. Try new things and work on yourself to show him some change to capture his attention.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hi Natalie and Adrian, I need a little help in my situation with my ex. We are 20 years old and in our second year of university (different studies). When we met, we fell in love instantly and butterflies all over the place in our bodies. I met his parents and he met mine. After 5 months, I told him I realized that I loved him very much and that I didn’t want to be with someone else at the moment. When he read that on whatsapp, he broke up two days later… he told me (while crying heavily) that his inner flame was dying and he didn’t want to hurt me by extanding the relationship with another week or so.(he came up with the weirdest reasons why he didn’t love me anymore, and I mean really weird). After that, we never spoke again. It has been more that two months now and I worked on myself. I am almost the independant women I once was, only still feel something for my ex. I am planning to stay friends with him (although we don’t have mutual friends and he is really clingy with his friends a lot), but I don’t know how to reach out to him, cause it feels scared and I am afraid he could ignore me on whatsapp. I see him sometimes in the building, but we ignore eachother. He has shown interest in another girl a week after the breakup and I am afraid he forgot about me. What should I do? Should I even try to contact him or leave it and continue my moving on process?
Ps: we were our first boyfriend/girlfriend. So everything was the first time for us both, inc this breakup. I have no idea how guys feel after something like this.
Hello Neelia,
If it may hurt that he doesn’t respond to your whatsapp message then there seems like there is some more growth that has to be done. Detaching from this relationship will be the key to establishing a friendship with him again.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hey guys, any advice would be appreciated.
My situation with my ex is a really confusing one, we broke up a month ago since she has told me she has been feeling emotionally numb and has no feelings towards anything, I tried to convince her that night to just stay and we’ll work through it together and she said she can’t do it and think it’s best if we go our separate ways. She said she wants me to be apart of her life and it will kill her if I’m not. So we spoke for about 4 hours about it.
We met up a few days after and i opened up to her about everything and mentioned about a friend of mine and his break up how they dated for 4 years and now hate each other, she replied “that’s exactly what I don’t want happening with us, and with me still talking and hanging out with you shows that there is a chance of us getting back together?”
I just replied with “well that is true but I will keep showing you that I still want you and that I can change” and the reply I got was “show me that you still want me but don’t try to hard”
So a few weeks go by and we haven’t given each other space but in one of our phone calls I kept saying that “Im scared of loosing her to someone else” and she yelled back and said “don’t you think I’m scared of loosing you to someone else as well? And that she doesn’t ignore just my messages she ignores everyone’s”
We met up a week after that and I gave her Christmas present that I made for her and she accepted and looked at it for a good few minutes I looked up and noticed she was tearing up but was holding back. I was going through a rough time so Yeah, we cuddled for a while and spoke about random things, she made weird noises that she would make over FaceTime when we started dating and I did things that she’d do and we were playful she didn’t mind me touching her private areas jokingly since she did as well to me. So after all that we were looking at each other face and body close and facing each other. I just said I’m sick of everyone giving up on me. She leaned in and kissed me on the cheeks and said don’t worry I haven’t given up on you. And I just gave her a kiss on the forehead. And well I have spoken to her since but she’d make the first contact and have short convos
Only time she’d contact me if I’m upset.
She’s said I’ve changed and there’s a list of things that played a part of the break up! I have improved a lot, by finally getting a stable job that I enjoy, I start my pilots course in a few months and my anger, anxiety and depression have improved a lot, and well I’m still working on it, since she wants me to become the person she fell In love with and I’m proud to say I have found part of myself and still am day by day but it’s hard.
She’s currently still working on herself, but I don’t know she still says she has no feelings and still numb.
Now yesterday after trying to contact her for a few days, she calls me and I asked why she has been ignoring me, and told her how I felt and everything, and I asked she said she’s been caught up with work and everything, but I noticed she was feeling down, I asked what’s wrong and she said idk, I told
Her tell me, I won’t go off at you for saying the wrong things, let me show you that I’ve changed, I asked are you scared that I am moving on? Or loosing me to someone else? She said yeah that and some other reason, I’m like what is it tell me, she replies by saying I feel bad making you wait knowing that I don’t know how long I’m going be to numb for and its not worth the wait, I told her I’m more than happy to wait. She kept saying no it’s going to make me feel even worse and i just asked so you want me out of your life? She goes it’s not that I want out of my life it’s I just don’t want you waiting to potentially get nothing. She now thinks it’s best if we’re not friends because she might hurt me.
I really do want her back but I don’t know anymore. We Spoke yesterday and yeah I tried keep a connection where we both just talk either twice a fortnite or twice a week but said she can’t do it, and as cliche as this sounds I asked did this relationship meant anything and well the reply I got was it meant a lot to her, then I asked do you still love me, well she it took a good 10 minutes to say it but she replied saying “I don’t hate you, but I don’t love you” so yeah I asked her why she said it’s because of all the times we argued and things I’ve said and the amount time I’ve said I’m done and wanted to end things, but we then started to talk about the good In the relationship. But deep down I really want her back.