My ex doesn’t love me anymore : why and what should I do?

Some breakups don’t happen as a result of lack of love but rather because of outside factors. Problems with your in-laws, cultural differences, distance…

So it’s not the “routine” or weariness that develops between you; it’s something even more insidious that is developing between you and the person you love with all your heart. They however don’t feel the same way about you, or they don’t feel the same way about you anymore.

Even though things seemed to be going fine in the first weeks, months, or maybe even years (despite a few fights that are common in all relationships,) the person that is now your ex has announced that their feelings for you have disappeared.

How can you just stop being in love with someone? How can you go from love to indifference or even a platonic relationship? Did they ever truly love you? You start to question your entire past together and you don’t know how to act or what to say to them.

You feel lost and all you want to do is to understand… Secretly you’re hoping to revive their feelings for you. Not only are you asking yourself these questions, you’re not just reading this article to understand the situation; you want to know how to make your ex fall back in love with you.

Thinking, “my ex doesn’t love me anymore” is heartbreaking, and you can’t wait around doing nothing, especially if you don’t want to lose hope and if you believe in your relationship.

So if you really want things to change you’re going to have to use a powerful method because their love for you isn’t going to return with a flick of a magic wand.

So, there is an essential analysis phase before you start the process of trying to get back together. Once you’ve done this you will be able to determine the right actions to do and you’ll have to stick with it.

My ex doesn’t love me anymore and I want to know why?

Not so long ago your ex was sharing their feelings for you, their heart was open to you and they were telling you that they love you. I don’t want to twist the knife in the wound, but everything has changed… They decided to leave on the pretext that they don’t feel love for you anymore.

This is always a shock and it’s never easy to digest. Your ex-partner isn’t telling you this to hurt you or for fun; there are specific reasons that can explain love’s disappearance.

A relationship’s biggest enemy is routine; it’s one of the main things that kills love. You don’t do anything new, you spend your weekends separately, and therefore your bond is slowly being broken. Of course doing nothing can sometimes be relaxing and that’s fine, but you face a big problem when it becomes the basis of your relationship.

Even after many years of marriage, you shouldn’t think your partner’s feelings are in your pocket.

Now I’m not saying that you’re the only person at fault here! Your ex has their share of responsibility if they didn’t do anything to save your relationship. But you’re the one on my site and you know what the root of tension between you was and therefore the root of the biggest problems in your relationship, so it’s on you now to take action.

How do I revive my ex’s feelings for me if they don’t love me anymore?

People often have the annoying tendency to ask an ex “Do you love me?” and push them to confide in you. But you don’t have to act like this; you don’t have to base your actions on their reply especially if it’s negative because it’ll dishearten you.

This is the first thing to be careful of so that you don’t aggravate the situation. As a general rule you’re going to have to ban interrogations.

Next up, you’re going to have to show your ex the new you and avoid acting as if you were still together to get a reaction out of them. For example, you should play it cool and say something like, “I tried that new Indian restaurant and I’m sure you’d like it.

You should definitely check it out or if you want, we could go together and I can show you the best dishes!” You look calm and you don’t look needy, so you aren’t making any mistakes.

You’re showing your ex that you’re capable of getting through this, of experiencing new things. Of course my example should be adapted to your specific situation but by showing your ex that you’ve still got a taste for life and a new attitude you’ll be able to maximize your chances of getting back together. It’s essential to make a good impression on your ex!

If you can make the necessary distance between you so that you can think about the situation and show your ex that you’re not needy, they’re going to like this aspect of your personality and it will urge them little by little to make their way back to you. As we explain in detail in our on how to get back together with an ex.

Don’t expect passion within the first few days, but expect your ex to start taking notice. They need to be reassured, and they need to see how important the relationship is in your eyes. In many cases, this is usually an electroshock and it makes your ex think twice about the breakup.

To be clear, this is the moment in which your ex is going to start doubting their decision to leave, and you will have succeeded in the first step! When your ex no longer has feelings for you, it’s doesn’t mean that everything is lost, but you have to make some big changes.

A common tip to AVOID when you want your ex to love you again!

You don’t need a coaching session like one of mine to know that one of the most common methods people use when they’re thinking “My ex doesn’t love me anymore” is jealousy. You want to get a reaction but you also want to hurt them.

Let’s be honest, they probably broke your heart when they left you and you’re still suffering. Even if it’s on a subconscious level, you probably want them to feel what you’re going through. You don’t wake up in the morning thinking that you want to hurt them…. (Wait, do you?)

This is one of the biggest reasons why I tell you to be careful with trying to make your ex jealous. If you’re familiar with my philosophy then you know that it’s a risky thing to mess with. We have different options in this situation, so we’re going to do something different.

Yes your ex might come back if they see you with someone else but their desire to have you back might not last. They won’t return because of love; but because of their pride and you’ll be back in the same situation in no time.

Together we will be able to design the perfect plan of action to really bring about change and to make your ex make the first step for all the right reasons! You’re going to change and this is what will make all the difference.

Best wishes,

Coach when your ex falls out of love,

Adrian