Hearing that the person you love and want to be with does not want to be with you is like a dagger straight to the heart. You had shared so much and you still see your future with this person, but they told you that they don’t feel the same way! It’s a crushing feeling and it might even feel like there’s no hope.
Well, when you’re faced with something like this, many questions will rise up to the surface. Thinking, “My ex doesn’t want me back” might feel like a sign to turn the page for some people, but that doesn’t feel right to you! This is the person you want and you want to know how to turn things around… In today’s article, I am going to help you explore your options and understand what this actually means.
Now is the time to ask yourself some serious questions about what you truly want and what you’re willing to do about it. Nothing is impossible in love, if you really want it… So without further ado, let’s take a look at why your ex might say something like this to you, whether or not he or she really means it, and what you should do next.
My ex doesn’t want to talk to me anymore: Why?
The answer to this question is much more obvious if your relationship ended very badly. If there were fights or emotional warfare going on, it’s normal that your ex might need space right now. It’s not uncommon for people to feel like they need to cut contact entirely in order to heal from a painful breakup.
I know that this seems pretty straight forward, but what if you aren’t quite sure why your ex is avoiding you now? Sometimes people break up on relatively good terms, but one of the people suddenly puts a lot of space in between them. This is usually because the person who made the decision to put space between them is using it as a coping mechanism. It’s exceedingly hard to move forward and heal from a breakup when you’re still constantly in touch, and when a person is trying to turn the page, telling you that there is no future together is a very straight forward way of getting space.
Another common reason is that an ex has decided to try dating someone else. When you find this out, you’ll probably be wondering, “Is it really over with my ex,” but keep in mind that these are often rebound relationships that don’t last very long.
Truth be told, when your ex tells you they don’t want to be with you or you see signs your ex is over you, the fact of the matter could very well be that your ex does not see a future with you.
Things have been going downhill in the relationship for a while, you both endured a lot of pain and suffering, and now things have finally come to an end. It’s true that breakups always happen for a reason and if your relationship ended, it simply means that a fundamental element of it was not working.
That said, does this mean that there’s no hope for changing his or her mind? If you’re familiar with my philosophy, then you know that I often say that nothing is impossible in love. You just need to be honest with yourself, patient, disciplined and motivated.
The process of getting an ex back is challenging, but well worth the effort! Many people don’t realize that sometimes a breakup can actually strengthen a relationship and make it better than ever before. They highlight what wasn’t working between two people and can serve as a catalyst for change! What’s more, they can shock someone and make them realize how much they actually care and want to be with their partner.
So if you’re certain that this is the person you want to be with, you’re going to have to take action and avoid making common mistakes…
Here’s what to do if you see signs your ex doesn’t want you back!
Right now, you’re thinking “My ex isn’t interested in me anymore,” and it feels awful. You might be tempted to hide away and isolate yourself while you brood for a bit, but that’s not going to get you anywhere!
If you’re serious about getting this person back into your arms, you’re going to have to follow some crucial steps. The first one is going to be to analyze what went wrong.
What reasons did your ex give you for ending the relationship, and what reasons could he or she maybe have kept from you in order to avoid hurting you more than they needed to? I encourage you to write these things down on a piece of paper divided into two columns. On the left side, list out the issues and on the right, list out the solutions you can begin implementing into your life and eventually sharing with your ex.
While you’re doing this, I want to stress the importance of not suffocating your ex. It’s normal to panic and try everything in your power to be in touch with him or her and somehow show that you’re meant to be together. The problem is that right now, your ex has all of the bad memories and pain associated with your breakup at the forefront of their mind and needs space.
There is a powerful tool that can be used at this stage. You’ve probably heard of it!
The No Contact Rule. To summarize, this tool consists of cutting contact with your ex for a period of three weeks to three months, depending on the severity of the breakup. The goal of it is to allow you to analyze the situation and put things into perspective, work hard on becoming the best version of yourself, all while giving your ex the opportunity to miss you and want to get closer to you.
You might be thinking, “My ex wants nothing to do with me… Wouldn’t disappearing from their life be exactly what they want?” Let’s just take a moment to think about how human nature works.
When a person feels like something is theirs and readily available to them, they have a very easy time taking it for granted. If you are very present in your ex’s life and even more so if you’re begging and pleading with them to take you back, they’ll feel like you’re there at their beck and call.
An ex will want you back the moment they fear losing you.
This sounds super simple, but it depends on one very important thing: You working on living your best life, becoming the best version of yourself, and inspiring your ex to want to be a part of your life again. Just disappearing or becoming harder to reach isn’t going to be quite enough.
My ex doesn’t want me back… yet!
The key ingredient for making your ex want you back is to inspire him or her to want to be a part of your life again. This means that you can’t place your ex at the center of your universe. You have to have your own things going on and make it clear that you are making yourself very happy. Get active at the gym or switch up your work out routine, freshen up your closet, spend ample time with your friends and family, and fill up your schedule with things that bring you joy.
Pursue your personal and professional projects, and start trying out new activities. Make time for your old hobbies that got put on the back burner while you were in the relationship.
The point of all of this is to prove to yourself that you can make yourself very happy and therefore bounce back from the breakup. The other thing that starts to happen is that you begin to remind your ex of the person he or she fell in love with in the first place, and show them that you’re becoming a new and improved version!
This makes you irresistible.
For more in depth information on how to get an ex back, I encourage you to click here.
Wishing you all the best in life and love
Your coach when your ex doesn’t want you back
I Know We Are Meant To Be!
Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love... for good!