Vous commencez à avoir le sentiment sournois que la personne dont vous êtes toujours amoureux continue sa vie. C’est l’un des pires sentiments au monde. Vous avez remarqué des choses sur leurs profils de réseaux sociaux et vos amis vous disent qu’ils les ont vus dehors avec des personnes que vous ne connaissez pas… Maintenant, vous vous demandez ce que tout cela signifie et si c’est aussi le cas. tard pour renverser la situation.
Si vous voyez des signes que votre ex est fini, cela signifie-t-il que vous ne pourrez jamais le récupérer ? Cela signifie-t-il que vous devez accepter et continuer votre vie ? Au lieu de vous permettre de paniquer, continuez à lire car je suis sur le point de vous rassurer !
En tant qu’expert en relations spécialisé dans l’aide aux personnes à se remettre avec leur ex, j’ai développé un radar pour savoir si les individus ont encore une chance de se remettre avec leur moitié.
Nous avons coaché plus de 15 000 personnes via des séances de coaching privées , les aidant à évoluer et à inspirer la personne qu’elles aiment. Il s’agit parfois de reconstruire la confiance d’une personne ou de lui fournir des outils de communication appropriés. D’autres fois, il s’agit de donner à quelqu’un une perspective sur ce qui n’a pas fonctionné dans ses relations précédentes.
Mais dans l’ensemble, j’ai l’expérience nécessaire pour vous dire si votre ex est toujours intéressé par vous. Dans cet article, nous examinerons de plus près comment savoir si votre ex a commencé à avancer et ce que vous pouvez faire pour changer les choses !
It will require patience, motivation and self-control like we explain it in the numerous tools to help you get back with your significant other , but in love, nothing is impossible!
If my ex is over me does it mean that I can’t make them come back?
Before we dive in, I want to take a moment to let you know that even if you’ve started seeing signs that my ex is over me, it doesn’t mean that all hope is lost. Sometimes people really try to move forward with their lives in hopes of mending their broken heart as soon as possible, but it doesn’t mean that their love for you has disappeared. You can still find a solution to the million dollar question: how to make my ex want me back!
In fact, the more obviously an ex tries to move on, the deeper their feelings are for you. Think about it, if they didn’t really care, they wouldn’t go out of their way to cut contact or try and date someone new as soon as humanly possible.
Let me give you an example; I was coaching a young lady from L.A called Rachel. She had been on and off with her ex-boyfriend for about 3 years and reached out to me after their third breakup.
Obviously she had been dumped for the third time and she really thought that hope was lost and that her boyfriend had moved on for good because he was liking pictures of other girls on Facebook; something that he hadn’t done in any of their previous separations.
She was quite vulnerable when she first reached out to me and afraid that no contact would give her ex-boyfriend time and space to develop a relationship with a new girlfriend.
You see your mind tends to play tricks on you when you are such a weak position and you tend to project the worst possible outcome as your inevitable future.
But Rachel was strong and determined and she was able to cut all contact and even not reach out to him on his birthday. Well the tables quickly turned and as she was getting better and regaining self-confidence and peace of mind, he started fearing that he had lost her for good.
The point is her ex-boyfriend went out of his way to cut all contact and to pretend that he had moved on and wanted nothing to do with her….but in fact he was only fooling himself and they are now back together and happy.
Of course each person is unique, but generally speaking, I can tell you that if you see the signs I’m about to list (especially if it’s really soon after the break up,) it’s very likely that you’ll have a positive answer to your question of does my ex still love me?
By keeping an eye out for the actions your ex has taken to try and move on, you’ll have a better idea of how to organize your plan for getting them back!
It’s normal to feel hurt and rejected, but just remember that the more effort an ex makes to move on, the more they are feeling. So, signs that your ex is over you can actually be signs that your ex still has feelings for you!.
Look for these signs that your ex is over you and then you’ll know what to do…
So now that you know that these signs aren’t as scary as you thought, let’s look at what actions mean that your ex is trying to move on. Once you have a clearer picture of what’s going on, we’ll look at how you can turn things around and make them want you back!
– No regret: Your ex does not say anything about missing you or regretting that things ended. When asked about how they’re feeling, they always say that they’re great and couldn’t be happier. Depending on the person, this could be genuine or a facade.
A remember that a break up entails a separation. The person breaking up often feels that they need to prove to the world and to you that they made the right decision to breakup. So they pretend or convince themselves that they are happier when in fact they’re not.
A few weeks after the breakup, people that seemed happy often become depressed realizing that the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence!
– They changed their number: This is one of the most obvious signs an ex is over you, or at least that’s what they want you to think. It depends on a lot of things from your relationship, the way things ended, and how you’ve acted since the breakup.
When an ex changes their number it’s usually because they are going to extreme measures to heal without bringing up painful memories.
From experience I know that this tends to happen when you are extremely clingy after a breakup. If you’ve chased your ex and blow up their phone, sometime they have no other choice but to simply cut you off for good!
– They’ve told you they feel nothing for you: If they go out of their way to tell you this, it’s a pretty good indicator that they’re trying to move on. There are plenty of ways to seduce someone again, and I’ve written an entire article on the subject that you can read here : how to seduce an ex!
No matter what, even if your ex says the meanest things to you (most of the time to force you to let go), this doesn’t mean that they truly feel this way about you; or that they will always have a negative image of you. Through your actions and what you can do it is possible to change the way an ex sees you.
I know this for a fact because I’ve helped countless people get back together after very messy breakups!
– Your ex stopped contacting you: This is a pretty normal thing to happen after a breakup. You might be wondering is my ex over me if it’s a sign that my ex boyfriend has moved on, but don’t panic. Perhaps they react negatively when you reach out or they are flat out ignoring you, but you can change the course of action.
Again, you are going through a breakup after all and you shouldn’t expect your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend to act the same way that they used too.
This gets a lot of people that I coach in trouble, or it throws them in a funk because they don’t recognize the person that they were with.
If this speaks to you, I highly recommend that you check out my video below.
– Your ex un-friends you on social media. In today’s day an age this is a big deal. It could be taken as one of the ways how to tell if your ex is over you, but it’s also no reason to panic. It’s normal for them to want to heal and not be reminded of painful memories each time you pop up on their feed.
Being blocked on social media can be quite painful to a lot of people. I’ve had so many questions on how to deal with this that I created a video seminar on how to get back with an ex when blocked on social media. If you find yourself blocked by your ex I highly recommend you to check it out!
– Your ex wants their things back: This is always painful, but it’s a good way for both of you to move forward! We are visual creatures and reminders of the person we lost are hard to have around during the healing process.
Remember that you shouldn’t be desperately looking to hold on to the past; instead look to create a new story, a new relationship with the one you love.
When you are in that mindset it becomes so much easier to let go of the past and to give your ex their things back without any drama.
– Your ex is rude: Some people act out when they’re hurt, and it could mean a variety of things. Your ex could resent you, or they could use an unpleasant attitude as a defense mechanism.
What I’d like to say here is to remember to not devalue yourself throughout the process of trying to get back together.
Don’t let your ex disrespect you and stand up for yourself when needed…you’ll gain more of their respect that way and in turn increase your chances of getting back together in the long run!
– Your ex tells you that they see you more as a friend: This often happens after short term relationships. It doesn’t mean that all hope is lost however. You’ll have to focus on physical seduction…
In my experience the dreaded friend-zone is often overblown. It is a lot harder to be friends with an ex them most people realize. What tends to happen is that you either end up getting back together or fighting like cats and dogs…
So don’t be afraid to play the friend card to be around your ex more and to inspire them!
– Your ex partner is dating someone else: This one is trickier because it could be a rebound, or it could be something serious. In either case it shows that your ex is trying to move forward.
This is one of the most difficult situations to deal with post breakups because you often have to relive the separation or feelings of rejection a second time.
Again from my experience it’s extremely difficult to move from one moving train to the next without any risk, damage or injury.
So if you’re ex quickly jumped into another relationship after the breakup it’s probably just a rebound. If you find yourself in this situation check out the video below.
Keep an eye out for signs your ex still loves you!
Don’t forget that there are all kinds of signs that an ex is not over you to be on the look out for. If you notice any of the following, you’ll be closer to getting them back in your arms!
It’s hard to know what exactly is going through your ex’s mind after a breakup, but some of these indicators can help you get a better picture.
– Your ex is still in touch: You still get calls and texts from your ex and you’re wondering does my ex still like me?. If they’re calling you to see how you are, chances are you’re still very much on their mind. This is a very good sign if you’re hoping to attract them back!
Many times when an ex reaches out it simply shows that he or she is trying to keep their options open or that they genuinely miss you.
The trap that many fall into is that they overplay their hand or try to rekindle too quickly which makes the ex pull away once again in fear of having to breakup with you a second time.
So if your ex starts to reach out to you, play it cool and let them start to slowly chase you.
– You hear that your ex has been asking about you: Again, if they’re showing interest in you by asking your friends how you’re doing, chances are they’re not 100% over you.
I’d like to take this opportunity to warn you not to involve friends and family in the breakup recovery process. They are often too biased and sometimes even too personally invested and hurt to give you sound advice.
No matter what, if you hear that your ex is talking about you it’s a positive sign but don’t go running back to them…
– Your ex partner has been looking at your Facebook: They’ve liked some of your pictures or they’ve made references to things they’ve seen on your profile… If your ex is going out of their way to look at what you’ve been up to, it means they care!
It is absolutely a great sign and it often means that you’re actually doing positive things in your day to day. Most of the people that I coach who find themselves in this position have passed the stage of grief and fully focused on finding their mojo.
If you transform into the person that you used to be prior to your relationship, the overwhelming odds are that you will once again attract and seduce your ex…
It’s worked for you once before so why wouldn’t work for you again!
– They’re posting pictures of things that are reminiscent of you: Perhaps they’ve posted a picture of a place you used to go to together, or of them doing something you enjoy doing. Social media is a pretty amazing way to indirectly communicate with someone…
Yes, these subliminal messages are a way of checking where you stand without being too vulnerable. This is usually when an ex seeks attention and another proof that the tides have turned in your favor.
– Rebound relationship: Another one of the signs your ex is over you can also be a sign that they’re not. If they’re dating someone new right away, it can mean that they’re trying to forget you and they’re actually having a hard time doing so, so they start going out with someone else.
This is mostly the case in painful breakups caused by distance or a lack of attention during the relationship. Don’t rush to win back your ex, be patient and truly address the deep rooted issues….
True love doesn’t fade away that quickly, and what tends to happen in such cases is that your ex will compare their new boyfriend or girlfriend’s shortcomings to some of your best qualities.
It’s in human nature to take what we have for granted and yearn for what we’ve lost!
You can make them come back even if you see signs that your ex is over you!
Now that you’ve got a better idea of what’s going on, let’s take a look at what you can do about it. I know your head is probably full of thoughts like, “Did my ex love me?”, “Are they forgetting about me?” and “How do I get them back!?” but all you have to do is take it one step at a time.
I know you’ve probably heard about the importance of space after a breakup, and it’s hard to really stick to it because you’re afraid it’s going to make your ex get over you and move on for good…
I’m about to tell you about the most important things to do when you want an ex back, especially if you fear that you’re witnessing signs hes over you.
Is my ex really over me?
The single most important thing to do right after a breakup (if you want your ex back) is to understand the true reasons behind a breakup or what went wrong in your relationship.
Sometimes that entails doing a radio silence in order to get the time and space you need to get proper perspective.
If you haven’t heard of no contact, check out this in-depth article that explains what it is and how to use the no contact.
In the process you can make your ex fear losing you and realize what they are on the very of losing.
They may have taken you for granted, and they’re used to having you around… always at their beckoned call. If they suddenly realize that you have more important things going on in your life and that you’re focusing on yourself, they’re going to start missing you. Again it’s human nature… If you abruptly take something away from someone,
they will miss it and want it back!
That said, it is equally important to work on yourself during this time. You want to improve yourself physically and mentally.
Hit the gym and start feeling better and better in your skin, and focus on making your goals a reality. Dive into projects at work and pick up old hobbies. Remind your ex of the person they fell in love with and become an even better version of them.
Think about it; they’ll be reminded of what they found so attractive in you and they’ll realize that they don’t have access to you.
They’ll begin to want you more than ever, and then one day you’ll have the deeply satisfying feeling of seeing signs your ex still wants you.
By the way, don’t hesitate to post all kinds of pictures on Facebook and Instagram of how amazing your life is and how much you’re enjoying yourself (if you were already active on social media)!
If you’re no longer friends on Facebook, don’t worry word will travel through your mutual friends.! Even if you’re no longer friends on Facebook, word will travel through your mutual friends.
You’re starting to see signs your ex is not over you so it’s time to get back in touch!
The no contact rule I mentioned above may need to be employed for a longer period of time if your break up was messy. If you’re not sure if and how long you should remain out of touch with your ex, don’t hesitate to ask me in a comment below. Just give me a brief description of how long you were together and how and why you broke up.
When the time comes to get back in touch, there are a few things to keep in mind. You’ve started to notice signs your ex is still in love with you, and you want to reach out to them…
You instinctively want to tell them that you still feel so much for them and you want to be together again, but don’t do it!! You need to remain in control of the situation. When you get back in touch, it’s crucial that you make your ex feel that you’re not totally available.
The moment you pop up out of nowhere after having not been in contact and start pouring your heart out, multiple less-than-desirable things can happen.
– Your ex can feel overwhelmed and freak out. You don’t want to suffocate them or make them feel pressured to be together again, especially if the break up was painful. They will have a guard up during this time, so let things happen very organically.
– Your ex partner might not appreciate your behavior and think it’s strange that you’re going from zero contact to being way too present. Remember; do not blow up their phone once you’re back in touch.
– If you are too readily available, you can seem needy and the entire intrigue that you’ve built up over the no contact period will just fly out the window.
By the way, if you’re wondering how exactly to get back in touch after no contact read our best selling eBooks for all kinds of useful suggestions!
When you’re wondering how do you know if you ex still loves you, it’s typically when you realize that you can still get their attention.
The thing is that you have to be proactive about it. Both of you need some time and space, and you’re not going to get anywhere if you just allow yourself to get depressed and spend your days laying on the couch watching sad movies.
Grab life by the horns and when you get back in touch with your ex, show them how much you’ve improved!
In conversation, be careful not to boast, but don’t hide the fact that you’ve really been going out of your way to make your life the way you’ve always wanted it to be. It’s an impressive and very attractive quality.
How one on one coaching can make him change their mind and come back!
Don’t forget that we are here to help you if you need. Getting an ex back when you’re not sure if they’re moved on or not is a pretty big endeavor. It’s totally normal to feel a bit overwhelmed at the idea.
Reach out to me or book a private coaching session directly to get the one-on-one guidance that you need to bring you closer to your goal!
Sometimes an objective third person with experience, results and proven track record of success is the best thing to help you design the best plan of attack and reach your goal.
Reach out to me by leaving your comment below, or by booking a private coaching session and we can offer you one-on-one guidance to bring you closer to your goal!
I know how complicated it all feels right but don’t panic, remain in control of your emotions, and take it one day at a time!
You’ll attract your ex back in no time.
Sincerely,
Your relationship expert for knowing the signs your ex is over you,
Coach Adrian
Life Coach, Motivational Speaker & Relationship Expert
412 Responses
Hi Adrian,
Thank you for sharing the post. My ex and I broke up couple months ago. We’ve dated for about 2 years, with lots of ups and downs. My ex boyfriend probably got tired of so much up and down, and he actually broke up with me once last year. At first, I begged him to come back. But after reading and implementing the strategies to get my ex back, surprisingly the guy who seemed to have completely lost feelings for me came back.
Unfortunately, he seems to have lost his spark again and we officially broke up couple months ago. He does not talk to me or even drunk call me anymore. Nothing. He’s not ignoring me, because when I talk to him, he responds very kindly. After we broke up, I implemented the no contact rule and other strategies again, hoping that he will come back once more. But still no sign, rather he seems like he doesn’t really care. The confusing part is that, when I coincidentally meet him, he is flirty with me (and only me), and tries to have sex with me at the end of the night, which I reject. He looks at me with adoration (I don’t know if that’s because he had couple shots of whiskey), and he’s awfully nice to me. But next day, he doesn’t talk to me again. If I start the convo, he responds pretty quickly.
After reading your post, I realized that I shouldn’t talk to my ex again until he shows signs that he is still interested in me. But what if he moves on and never shows interest again? Should I implement the no contact rule again? It’s frustrating because it doesn’t seem to work on him at this point.
I’m in the opposite situation. I haven’t seen and I’m not going around looking for her. Because she doesn’t to any of the places I go to. She dumped me because of not feeling the same as she did before. I was smothering because I was going out to much. Then I noticed she was pushing me away days before and I thought she was down. She was crying a few days before saying people don’t bother with her anymore. She doesn’t go out, she has to do everything by herself. It kind of hurt me when she said that. I then probably done the wrong thing and smothered her and shown her alot of affection. I mean a lot. I knew I was doing it but because I felt bad I was blind to how bad it was. I was an emotionally strong person before. Just had a bad patch with a change in profession and money wasn’t as good. Things have changed and I’m have alot more to offer in terms of emotional strength I feel secure and I feel brilliant. Just I feel one thing is missing and that’s my ex. But that’s a natural thing as 3 months isn’t really a long time. I’m over our breakup and don’t want the old relationship back. I want to start a new relationship with the improved me. I’m being patient by keeping no contact. If it’s not meant to be ill be thankful to her for making me a stronger and improved man for the women. She is 34 and I’m 27 so we could be at wrong time in our lives. But I don’t think we are just had a rough patch and she suffers with anxiety so turned her back on the fight ahead. Plus she has 2 girls so they are her priority not her feeling or mine. Which I respect alot. Wish you luck
broke with my girlfriend 4-5weeks ago. It was a 14 months relationhip. Lets call her M. Actually M. broke up with me. We had some fights before but at one point we decided to forget all the the past and move on, better and smarter this time. We both work at the same place, so i see her every day. 2 days beefore M. broke up with me, my ex girlfriend came to me at my workplace, she brought me a book for my friend. I didnt want M. to think that I m dealing with my ex because that was one of our/my problem. She tought that I m in touch with my ex. Beside my ex girfriend, I had a problem that I couldnt get too emotional in our relationship and wasnt able to talk about problems in our relationship due to my bad childhood. Im a person who keeps everything inside of me. I was so in love with her and she was in love with me. I had a pressure that I need to be a perfect boyfriend due to her stories abot her ex. She used to say that he was such a gentleman but they didnt worked out so good. 2 weeks before she broke up with me M. wrote me an email about our relationship that we need to talk about our past and that we need to decide weather we go on or we split. M. wanted me so bad and i did her too, but both of us made some mistakes. When the time came for talk I froze and I couldnt talk. She thinks that I dont need kisses or hugs or any of any kind of phisical connection. She tould me that was the reasen she decided to split. And thats all wrong because Im desperate for emotions and phisical contact. I made mistake after we broke up, texting her a lot and all she said that she is decisive and she made up her mind. I m thinking that she might have new boyfriend but I m not quite sure about that.
Ive started a NC rule about 3-4 week but as we work together it is really hard not to talk to her. Ive asked her about her family and about work. Yesterday she was sort of yelling at me at work because ive helped old women at the bank office. She also said in front of out couleauges that im not a team player (because i was emotionally away) and that i just want to “sell” everything to everyone. Ive aksed why she was acting like that she said to me that Ive been like that during most of our relationship and said to me that I am an ashole.
Justo to be mentioned she was cheating on me durign our relationship, I found that out but was willing to forgive it. 8 months after that she left me. I wanted to send her a long letter explainig her everything and bouquet of roses, but I`ve canceled it.
Can u please tell me what to do????
I need to say that she has a new boyfriend for sure! They have been seen together! :((
How long should the NC period last?
Hi Adrian,
I broke up with my girlfriend 4-5weeks ago. It was a 14 months relationhip. Lets call her M. Actually M. broke up with me. We had some fights before but at one point we decided to forget all the the past and move on, better and smarter this time. We both work at the same place, so i see her every day. 2 days beefore M. broke up with me, my ex girlfriend came to me at my workplace, she brought me a book for my friend. I didnt want M. to think that I m dealing with my ex because that was one of our/my problem. She tought that I m in touch with my ex. Beside my ex girfriend, I had a problem that I couldnt get too emotional in our relationship and wasnt able to talk about problems in our relationship due to my bad childhood. Im a person who keeps everything inside of me. I was so in love with her and she was in love with me. I had a pressure that I need to be a perfect boyfriend due to her stories abot her ex. She used to say that he was such a gentleman but they didnt worked out so good. 2 weeks before she broke up with me M. wrote me an email about our relationship that we need to talk about our past and that we need to decide weather we go on or we split. M. wanted me so bad and i did her too, but both of us made some mistakes. When the time came for talk I froze and I couldnt talk. She thinks that I dont need kisses or hugs or any of any kind of phisical connection. She tould me that was the reasen she decided to split. And thats all wrong because Im desperate for emotions and phisical contact. I made mistake after we broke up, texting her a lot and all she said that she is decisive and she made up her mind. I m thinking that she might have new boyfriend but I m not quite sure about that.
Ive started a NC rule about 3-4 week but as we work together it is really hard not to talk to her. Ive asked her about her family and about work. Yesterday she was sort of yelling at me at work because ive helped old women at the bank office. She also said in front of out couleauges that im not a team player (because i was emotionally away) and that i just want to “sell” everything to everyone. Ive aksed why she was acting like that she said to me that Ive been like that during most of our relationship and said to me that I am an ashole.
Justo to be mentioned she was cheating on me durign our relationship, I found that out but was willing to forgive it. 8 months after that she left me. I wanted to send her a long letter explainig her everything and bouquet of roses, but I`ve canceled it.
Can u please tell me what to do????
I need to say that she has a new boyfriend for sure! They have been seen together! :((
How long should the NC period last?
Hello Adrian, your journals have been very therapeutic for me in this difficult time. My girlfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago. it was a casual break up and it wasn’t till a week later i realized the relationship was over. we have kept in communication and she’s told me that she is still in love with me but that she wants to think only for herself for the first time. We have been together for 5 years. we lived together for the last two years but I moved out because i wanted to be sure i was ready for marriage. this caused friction and there were times in the relationship I did not show her much affection n attention. Ever since the break up, she has gotten a new job in her little small town 2 hours away and is moving. I want to implement the “NO Contact” rule well she moves and settles into her new job n reconnects with her family and childhood friends. She still wants us to be in touch and she said she wants me to be happy. but I have to do me. she doesnt know for certain we will be back together depending on her experience when she moves back home. She might prefer the small-town guys and lifestyle. I have told her that i am ready to commit and we do have the same values and goals. How long should we not contact each other once she moves? what are the chances she will be happy at home but realize that she still wants to be with me?
Hi Josh,
Thank you for sharing your story. Your situation really resonated with me, so I wanted to take a moment to reply. I work beside Coach Adrian. It seems to me like moving out forced your ex to go into a reflective stage, where perhaps she started questioning the future. I do encourage no contact, but would like to understand the parameters of the break-up more in order to determine length of time. I do invite you to book a session to speak with Adrian or I.
I do wish you the very best either way.
Sincerely,
Natalie
Hey Adrian I recently broke up with my ex because she freaked out when she found out her ex boyfriend of nine years got married to another woman. I felt we were getting closer to getting engaged. I was hurt by her reaction and abruptly ended it because I didn’t want to share her heart. We have not had any contact until yesterday when she emailed me. She said she was crying a lot and was absolutely miserable. She towards the end of the email said she hopes that i have found someone who will love and respect me. She then said that she will always love me. What should I do? I haven’t emailed back because its confusing. I would appreciateany advice. Thank You!
Hi Brett,
I’m Coach Natalie, it’s nice to meet you. Your story really resonated with me and so I wanted to reach out to you. I know you’re in a rough spot and were scared to share her heart. However, her pain about her ex getting engaged is likely less about her heart and more about her ego. Have you ever felt forced to compare yourself to another person? To thousands of people, this happens multiple times a day. However, it doesn’t mean she is unhappy in her relationship with you or still wants to get back with her ex.
I hope this helps.
Sincerely,
Coach Natalie
Hi i recently got with my gf and we were good for about 2 months. We were really good friends for 1 year before we started dating. But before we got together she was dating a guy that treated her bad and she let it drag on for a while before ending it. After she ended it we got together shortly after since everyone around us were saying we really liked each other. 2 months in she tells me she needs time and that shes not rdy. So that happens but I think i made it worse but telling her i still cared about her alot and she ended up blocking me on social media and she told me to forget about her and be happy. She’s not rdy to commit. Do I still have a chance to get her back? I’m willing to do anything
Hi Gem,
Thank you for your share. I know you’re wondering if your ex is over you and whether or not you can fix it. This process can be very painful, so I commend you for your strength. It seems to me that she may not have processed her previous breakup before you and her got together, and this is likely going to mean that the baggage between her and her ex is not infused into your relationship with her. I think that you should give her some space so that she can sort herself out. This does not have to be forever, so don’t lose hope. However, if you want a chance at a real relationship with her, she’ll need to be emotionally available for you. If you need help with this process, please feel free to book a session and we can discuss it further one-on-one.
I hope this helps.
Sincerely,
Coach Natalie
Im glad to hear that. I signed up for a session on sunday. I should be hearing from Adrian tomorrow. Thanks
Would say this was rebound relationship? If so How often do these workout?
My girlfriend of 2 years broke up with for a few reasons which included she didn’t feel the same anymore. I done the pathetic begging pleading after the breakup. I’ve gone no contact and feel way better. I’ve worked on my own personal issues. I still love her. I’m just thinking if I really love I should respect her decision and let her go. But part of me is saying keep doing what I’m doing. I’m actually glad she broke up with me just because I’ve sorted a few issues out. I’m in a better place mentally and physically. I text her to say her girls school was closed due to flooding. As it was posted on Facebook early and she doesn’t have Facebook. She replied saying whooooop. And thanks. But I didn’t have a convo just sent a screenshot of the announcement. I know deep down what I want and that’s her. But there’s always a but. I feel if it’s meant to be she’ll see my improvements. I’m not chasing her at all I’m moving on in the right direction without being a jerk. As I’m not interested in a relationship. I’ve met a few girls to prove to myself I’m still attractive ( I knew I kind of was still) but I lost my way.
I dated a guy for four months. I got nervous about where things were going. I was afraid of being hurt and subsequently broke it off. I realized I made a mistake and asked to reconsider working things out. Then I got a break up email. I ran into him at a party and he acted like he was upset with me and then got even more irate when he saw me talking to another guy at the bar. We talked breifly and I was confused by his behavior. After that, I considered the possibility that we weren’t finished. Long story short, he admitted he wasn’t over his ex and believes we can’t work out. I’d love it if he came back but I don’t think even your methods could work in this situation at all.
Hi Ky,
Thank you for sharing your story. I know it can be really hard when it comes to figuring out if your ex is over you or not and if he’s not, how you’ll be able to fix it. In order to help, I’m going to need to know a bit more information. How long did he date his ex? Do you have a clear understanding as to why they broke up? Are they still in contact? Either way, I do encourage you to take this time to determine why you were afraid of next steps in the relationship. Regardless of outcome, use this opportunity to learn a lot about yourself. I think that if you put it into perspective, you likely learned a lot and this will prepare you for the future.
Sincerely,
Coach Natalie
Hi Adrian,
Thanks for all your help. Please take a look at my situation if you can…
Me and my ex had a ‘legendary’ relationship of 2 years (I moved to another country for him, we lived together for a year) before he dumped me 1.5 year ago (fed up with my insecurities). Since we broke up I’ve been confident and improving myself, but the best I ever got from him was mixed signals (he admitted he had feelings for me even 10 months after the breakup…but at the same time he started dating someone else, trying to move on!!) We were in regular contact as ‘friends’ for about a year, but it progressively lessened as he became involved in a new career / social circle / new girlfriend (who he admitted that he “is not love with, but it’s better to have a partner”). I became friends with this girl, as well as his entire new social circle…so I can see them regularly should I choose to. I played it cool around them, so at first he was happy to stay friends with me, but lately I screwed up by displaying some emotions and over-contacting him…so he and his new girl saw through my facade. Now they avoid me completely – especially him. He doesn’t even answer when I email “happy birthday”. It seems that he’s trying really really hard to move on, and to keep his new girlfriend from being jealous. I know I need to disappear and let him chill, – obviously I have been ‘chasing’ too hard – but it’s impossible to COMPLETELY disappear. Our social circles are too damn close in this small city. What about his new girlfriend? I’ve been preaching friendship to her, so it’s kind of weird to disappear (not that she’d care). Should I cultivate a closer friendship with her and let her see I am ‘safely out of love with him’, or should I just try to disappear completely and bide my time? With him, it’s clear I need to back off…But what about this girl? She might be my rival, but can I actually use her to my advantage?? (god, I sound horrible, don;t I? ) 😀
I dated a girl for a couple of months and everything was going great until one day she started acting strange. I asked her what’s wrong and she told me that she’s wanted space so she could finish out school and start looking for a job. She told me once she’s done we can start things back up and she really likes me and wanted to be with me. I didn’t like it but I wanted her to be happy and I didn’t want to slow her down so I agreed to give her space. A couple days went by and I wasn’t feeling like it was right so I messaged her asking her if we could work something out so I don’t have to wait so long to talk to her again but she wouldn’t go for it. A few day went by again and I messaged her friend asking if things we fine but she told my ex and my ex told me not to worry about her and told me she wanted to be with me but I shouldn’t wait so I got confused and I started freaking out and acted needy and clingy so she told me she doesn’t want it to work. Right away I went to no contact and a couple of weeks went by and she sent a picture of me when we were together and we talked for awhile just about the picture and the next day I sent her a messaged apologizing for the way I acted and stuff like that but never got a reply. I’m confused why she messaged me and i don’t know if she was deleting all of the pictures and sent me her favorite one or she starting to miss me
I dated a girl for a couple of months and everything was going great until one day she started acting strange. I asked her what’s wrong and she told me that she’s wanted space so she could finish out school and start looking for a job. She told me once she’s done we can start things back up and she really likes me and wanted to be with me. I didn’t like it but I wanted her to be happy and I didn’t want to slow her down so I agreed to give her space. A couple days went by and I wasn’t feeling like it was right so I messaged her asking her if we could work something out so I don’t have to wait so long to talk to her again but she wouldn’t go for it. A few day went by again and I messaged her friend asking if things we fine but she told my ex and my ex told me not to worry about her and told me she wanted to be with me but I shouldn’t wait so I got confused and I started freaking out and acted needy and clingy so she told me she doesn’t want it to work. Right away I went to no contact and a couple of weeks went by and she sent a picture of me when we were together and we talked for awhile just about the picture and the next day I sent her a messaged apologizing for the way I acted and stuff like that but never got a reply. I’m confused why she messaged me and i don’t know if she was deleting all of the pictures and sent me her favorite one or she starting to miss me
She just messaged me telling me to move on.
Hi Lincoln,
I’m really sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how painful it is when trying to decipher if your ex is over you or not and if they aren’t how to fix the relationship. I know it sounds hard to hear, but I encourage you to return to no-contact. I think that you need to reset this relationship and that can only be done by letting the current one end. It may sound impossible, but I know you can do it. If you need any help, please feel free to book a session with us. We can help you define and create a solid action plan to heighten your chances.
Wishing you the best,
Coach Natalie
i am in high school and me and my boyfriend broke u i spent three weeks trying to make us date and then he keep on turinng me down .I recently wrote a letter toh im and tell him how i feel and he just tild me he read it and he walk off i got mad a i slap him and ask him what the hell is wrong with him and he tld me that the reason why we broke up is becuase am around too much boys and that i curse at him and i really dont he always amke me feel am the person and i am really not i love this boy so much i will die for him he is my heart beat my heart only beat for him he push me away every time i talk to him and today i ask him why he aways talking shit about me he told me its beauce am a pussy i feel so bad cause his word cut me deeper everday people tell me i need to get over him bbut i cnt i am lost i feel hopeless ith out him life is dull me make me smile and cry for no reason and the word am over just tore my world apart i feel like i dont even know myself anymore i tell myself if he ever get a girl friend am gonna but him 6 feet under ground i am gonna sit in jail for murder i dont support it but if life take its turn i maybe in that position i am so serious make word i need help i really do and his name is maleek
Hello Adrian, I am in a very torn place at this moment. I was with this girl for 5 years. On the 3rd year we started to fight a lot & have problems one after another, but at the end we would manage to find our way around it. Out of the blue when we made 5 years of this year in June, 5 days after she ends it with me saying that she doesn’t feel we can grow together & she couldn’t do this anymore. She didn’t talk to me for about almost 2 months & decided to come back on my 21st birthday. We ended up getting back together. We would fight like any other relationship, but at the end we would have so much fun together. Months after she went out of town to NY with her family when she came back she was telling me how she missed me & how much she loves me. She surprised me with a gift she got me out of town. Everything seemed fine until the next day she told me the same thing ” I don’t feel you & I can grow together & that she has no other solution but to let me go”. I was devastated. This happened two days ago & haven’t got no reach out from her nor will I reach out to her. I feel like when things got rocky I would always be the one to fight too keep her & she wouldn’t really try.. when she ended it with me she said “just because I’m doing this doesn’t mean I don’t love you”.
What do you think on this & what should I do?
Thank you.
My ex and I broke up about a week ago and I let him go without fighting. We ended things on really good terms, almost too good. We haven’t talked about our breakup up or anything since we broke up. I’m trying to stick to the NC rule but it seems like he’s forgotten about me. He’s been going out every night partying and hanging out with friends. We were in love right before we broke up and I feel blindsided. I’m not sure if he even cares anymore. I still have his things but I don’t want to break no contact to give him them. He hasn’t asked for them back. I don’t know how to get him back because I don’t know how he feels
Hi Mal,
Thank you for your share. I know how difficult this must be for you, and it’s natural that you’re looking for ways to know if your ex is over you and how you can fix it. If he’s going out and partying every night, it’s likely that he’s just distracting himself. He’s going through a break up, also, but he’s coping differently. To really know for sure, I encourage you to book a session so we can discuss the relationship at length.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
My ex and I broke up a month ago. We are in college and Long distance. He said I was the best thing that ever happened to him. He stopped communicating his panic attacks over school one week and went cold. I got angry at him for a few days but then apologized and asked him if anything was wrong and if I could help. He said if I don’t give him space he will break up with me. I apologized and said I would. We would speak every two or so days for ten min. I hung in there for a week. I then tried to bring up his drug habits and asked him to reconsider drugs. He got mad saying I was treating him like shit. We barely spoke the following week, I just sent a bunch of supportive messages. He then acted really egotistic and sent me pictures of himself on our 4th month together. I had enough of the distance/space for two weeks so I broke down crying asking him why he was being so egotistical and mean and that it felt one sided for the last three weeks. He then said he had been meaning to tell me he was going to break up with me on the following wed he was just being nice till then, because he didn’t have time to date and then told me “we should block each other” so I blocked him and haven’t had any contact since we broke up. Please help
Hi Pani,
Thank you for your share. I know you’re looking to see if your ex is over you and how you can fix your relationship, but I feel like your ex needs time to focus on himself. Similarly, so do you, and you need to realize how much value you add to his and your life. It seems like he’s got a lot going on and if he’s manifesting his stress via drugs, you’re setting yourself up for a long road of heartache. I encourage you take this time to yourself. Focus on you and become the best version of yourself you can be. After you’ve achieved this, decide if that’s the type of man you want in your life long-term.
I hope this helps.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
I met this girl in my class this semester that just ended (we met in September) . We hit it off really quick. The chemistry was so amazing and we both were connecting emotionally and physically. Something I never felt. She met my parents and she came over a few times and even slept over for a night. I met her best friends and went on double dates. She gave me gifts and shes the first one that told me she loved me. In overall everything was fantastic. But the last 2-3 weeks she’s been very cold and different. She told me last week she’s going to a different college out of state next fall and she’s packing her bags in May. I was upset and she could tell. She ask if we can still be friends,I was devastated. Next day I explain to her how I felt and we were very open throughout the whole convo. She’s says that she’s still finding herself and looking at her career goals. Now this is where it gets tricky and I really need your help here. This passing Tuesday was our final, we had a short convo before the test on the weekend.So she finishes early and takes off. I later leave and start heading the class where I usually walk her to cause I wanted to say goodbye before the last day ends. I text her to see if she’s at the class and she responded with “no I left for work” and I then pass the class and she was there and I caught her in the lie. I told her to come out, she instead texts me saying “don’t don’t this I’m sick and I don’t want to talk to anyone” she was sick for the last 2 weeks but she then texted me saying she was going to meet up with me next week after Christmas or call me. I’m so confused, everything was so good and it just flipped. Thank you
Hey, my ex and I broke up a week ago. It was very shocking because it was pretty out of the blue. We were together for almost a year, and we would always say how much we loved and needed each other, we would send lovely good morning texts and goodnight texts, we would hangout and cuddle all day while watching movies, it was great. All of a sudden he started acting weird. He wouldn’t want to FaceTime (we usually did) and he seemed sad. He broke up with me the following few weeks after and said that he “needs to worry about his family, and he’s not mentally ready for a relationship.” I don’t understand what happened. He said he felt happier without me but I don’t understand how he could say he wanted me so much then just throw me out like this. We haven’t been in contact for 2 days, he hasn’t blocked me on anything. What’s going on and what should I do?
So my ex and i broke up about three months ago. We dated for almost 2 years. She broke up with me after moving in with me after she left college and them broke up with me 4 months later because we were fighting and trying to figure out how to live together. After we broke up it has been so hot and cold its hard to know what is going on. One moment she misses me and regrets it the next it seems like its a burden just to talk to me. I am 24 and shes 22 and two weeks ago she moved back home which is about 3 hours away. Before she left and the week leading up to it she was all about talking to me and hanging out with me. She even went as far to tell me she regretted breaking up with me but had already made the plans to move and had to follow through with it. The last day she said she loved me and always would then left as we both balled our eyes out. Since she has left its been a struggle to even get her to talk to me. She is all over social media but will not reach out to me even though she said she would. I don’t know if i should give her some space to let her settle or she was just stringing me along in the first place. The last conversation we had was a little rough and got heated which it shouldn’t have but i have felt somewhat used. She did say after the fight that she was still thinking about me so i do feel she cares but i can not tell if she is letting me down slowly or genuinely does still care about me
Thanks,
A Trouble Soul
my ex and i were together for 3 years and had a pretty messy break up that started off as a break and turned into an all out knock down drag out fight with words . i know i hurt him badly by some things i said . cheating was never a issue in our relationship just our temper and stubborness . how long should i give him to heal before contacting him?
Hi Shalaine,
Thank you for your share. I know how challenging it is to try to find signs and ways to get back with your ex. Rather than focussing on his healing, I encourage you to focus on your own. Focus on what you can work on to make sure that you don’t have to resort to verbal slander. I think that if you do this, you’ll be setting the stage for a much stronger relationship with your ex. He won’t come back around until he’s seen those changes.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
me ex and i were together for 15 months. one night he left because he had to go get his drunk friend and was gone for 2 days. in those 2 days he ignored me because he said he didn’t want to talk to anyone really and then he broke up with me randomly. he came over and got his stuff he held me and kissed me. he said he was doing it for himself. he said he wants to get a job and become more of himself by himself on his own. on the 25th of december he said he wanted space for a while. mind you we broke up the 10th of december and texted everyday after because i couldn’t leave him alone. but the 25th is when he said he wanted space so i have contacted him since then. i told him to text me whenever he was ready and he said he will. he blocked me on every social media. so…. idk.
Hi Theresa,
Thank you for your share. It’s tough when trying to determine if an ex is over you and how you can go about fixing it – but at this stage, I really suggest you implement no contact and stick to working on you. It’s a new year, and it’s the perfect opportunity to optimize your self and how you view yourself. Your ex likely disappeared after the breakup (blocking, etc) because he felt you were behaving slightly needy. If you want to show your ex you’ve changed and are evolving, no contact will prove this, as it’s out of your character so far. I really think this could be a great start for you. If you need more help, I encourage you to book a session with Adrian or I. Together, we can develop a game plan.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
Me and my ex boyfriend dated for 4 months, it was the best 4 months of my life, he called me the love of his life. But a few days ago I broke up with him because he cheated on me. I deleted him off of all my social medias, he doesn’t text me, call, or anything. I’m starting to think we’re really done.
Ebony,
Thank you for your share. I’m so sorry to hear about your current situation – I know it can be really tough when trying to determine if your ex is over you and/or what you can do to fix it. Firstly, I want to say that, if your ex cheated on you, there’s a chance it’s going to be really challenging for you to trust him in the future. Are you prepared to let go of this incident? If you aren’t sure, then getting back with him may lead to a long road of lack of trust and anxiety for you in the relationship. I encourage you to focus on yourself right now – regain your self confidence, this will make a massive difference when it comes to getting back together.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
My girlfriend of two years, that I’ve been off and on with for thirty, left me Christmas Eve after a text war. I hurt her feelings very much by calling her every name in the book. Told her she was ugly, stupid, etc….She is very sensitive and I was told not to contact her. I love her and was going to ask her to marry me. What do I do to win her back? Thanks.
Hi Redshadlizard,
Thank you for your share. In order to get your ex back, you’ll have to find ways to correct the reflex of name calling. Your ex needs to see that you’ve changed as a person in order for her to feel comfortable engaging with you again. Try making a list of ways you can avoid the verbally abusive behavior. If you need help with this, please feel free to reach out to us directly and book a session. I think you’ll get a lot of use out of it.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
My ex broke up with me after 4 1/2 years we have two children together. He broke up with me and stuck around for 5weeks and then moved into his new place with a new gf who he introduced to our children straight away.
He told me that he hadn’t been in love with me For 6months but he stuck around for that long because he wanted to try, we bickered like couples do. He said that he was unhappy. Yet he still brought me gifts and things and they weren’t cheap! The thing is my ex is not the type to keep quiet if he has an issue he will tell you, so I’m confused aswell
Since then I’ve tried nc and lc and one of us always texts. I’ve removed myself off social media I don’t want to see the flaunt of their relationship!
When I call he always answers and he will always text me back, he won’t talk about us but he will always talk about the children!
I still love him and I want to sort this.
He tells me he will never get back together and sometimes he’s just so nasty. Or does something for a reaction.
We’ve had ups and downs and our relationship has been tested and we’ve always stuck together,he has since lost people close to him and he hasnt bereaved
I can’t stop crying!
Our children are so lost and confused aswell!
What do I do for the best!
We dated for 9 months, and he broke up with me 3 weeks ago because we had a fight.
He said he can’t see our future, he can’t feel the love he has for me, our thinking, personalities, and lifestyle were differently from each other, therefore he requested to breakup because he didn’t waste both our time.
At first, I refused to breakup with him but he insisted that he wanted to breakup, because breaking up with me means relief to him and returning the freedom I deserve. At last, I agreed although it hurts.
We contacted each other continuously for a week after the breakup. Last Friday, I decide to stop contacting him as the “no contact” step but I been actively on snapchat as well as instagram story. He viewed all of it and I stopped because I found it unattractive.
As I stopped, I realize that he is actually doing the same thing, he been quite actively on snapchat which he rarely post thing unless he was with me (he likes showing people that I’m his girlfriend) But now, he been posting he is stuck in a traffic jam, foods that he is eating and some other stuff.
I’m not sure if I’m too sensitive or he is trying to get attention from certain people. He even liked one of my friend’s post (which is my closest friend) I asked my friend but they said I’m thinking too much, but I really wish to know what’s his intention.
Is there any sign he still cares for me? Although he said he can’t seem to love me anymore but throughout the 9 months, even the last month we were together, I still able to feel his strong affection.
Thank you!
Hi April,
Thank you for your share. It’s very normal to intensely analyze our ex’s actions when we’re looking for signs that show whether or not your ex is over you and how to fix it. I encourage you to stop posting on social media and also to stop looking at it for a bit. I say this because it’s important that he feels your absence; it’s the only way he’ll realize the weight of his decision. He needs to miss you and then he can assess if he’s made a mistake in leaving you. I know it’s hard to stop talking to our ex’s, but it really makes all the difference. If you need any help, feel free to book a session with Adrian or myself. We’re here to assist.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
Thanks Coach N. Your advice are much appreciated and really thankful for your help!
Me and my ex was together for almost 6 years. There have been so many problems and stuff, but we were so happy, or i taught so. But last few months before he broke up, i was always complaning about him, theb he broke up but still wants to be friends and we was, but more like a couple again. And then i began to me the same old me, who always asked him to get together, and annoyed him. And i startet to always take up a fight with him. He told me not to talk about these stuff about getting together and i should prove him i will change and then he definetly will come back. But i didnt. I just want him to be mine. Now 5 months later he got enough and now he tell me he dont love me og feel anything for me og even dont see anything in the furture for me. And i ask what of i changed and he said, he could tell how he was gonna feel in the furture but right now he doesnt want me. But still he wants to have contact at ‘follow me grow’ as he said. And he also kisses me when we meet still. But, he talks with this other girl to. Burt he told me that there was nothing with her. I really messed up, and i really want him back! What should i do?
Well I do’t know where to start…I met this girl Z. last year in January, at that time i was still in a long term relationship (8 years) with another girl. The things were not looking good in this relationship, because she got bored and was already “dating” other people. In April we finally broke up. Till April we were just good friends with Z. or more than friends but without physical contacts.
After my ex moved out, we slowly began our relationship. At that time she was more into me, than I was in her. Our relationship improved slowly, but after three months some things become bothering her. For example I still had some personal belongings like clothes from my ex in my apartment. I did not want to untag me from Facebook photos of my ex or remove her from my facebook friends.
Z. became slowly inpatient, although we made some travels together to sea side, Berlin, Austria… there were more and more things that bothered her about me and started accusing…like I am too passive, don’t laugh enough, too serious ( I am 34, she 31), without energy, don’t show feelings. But she still wanted to be with me, she plead to be with her, but she wanted it on her own terms (removing all of the exes stuff, announce on the facebook in the relationship). I kinda started to avoid too much contact with her, because there was always something that bothered her. on December the 5th she wrote to me the long letter that its over, but she still had contact with me, we even planned skiing trip in this January together. On 22th of December she invited me to her house to watch the movie, but I already made some plans, 23th of December she posted me in the morning thru Viber even some kisses. But on that day she went out in the evening with friends (what she normally does not do). A few days later she told me, that she met someone new who is everything that she wants to be from a relationship and feel madly in love with him although he has got no material and financial background. For a new year they were already sleeping together, although this is a distance relationship and they see each other only on weekends.
now, after 14 days, she claims, that she is still in love in him and that he represents everything that I am not and what she loves in the relationship. And that she certainly does have no desire to go back to me because we are to different…
Only after she told me the news, that she met someone new my world felt apart and with the speed of this new relationship things went even worse.. I feel now terrible because of my principles and tolerance for the ex, which costed me a great relationship with this beautiful girl Z…..is it only a rebound? are there still some chances for us?
Hi Gasper,
Thank you for your share. I know how hard it can be when we’re trying to decipher our ex’s intentions, whether or not they’re over you and how you can fix your relationship. Ultimately, don’t put too much importance on this new person. I can assure you that whoever she is with is completely irrelevant to you and her and your previous relationship. I encourage you to take this time to really find out what the issues were in your relationship and how you can rectify them. If you can do that, you’ll be in great shape to start rekindling with your ex. If you need help with this process, I invite you to book a session with Adrian or myself. We’re here to support you.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
I’m about to get way too personal in a comment box haha. Ok, let’s see… My ex-boyfriend and I have been friends for 10+ years and dated on and off for nearly 18 months. He had a crush on me starting in the 8th grade and I didn’t think of him as anything more than a friend until just before he left for a 2 year mission trip. We started dating about a year after he got home. In the beginning of us dating, I had commitment issues and he worked very hard to get us to date. Though I was technically only going on dates with him for the first few months, I didn’t term us “exclusively dating” until about 3 months following our first date. In fact, his persistence and confidence in how he felt about me allowed me to feel secure enough to commit to an exclusive relationship. Things moved quickly after that and just over 7 months of dating we were looking at engagement rings and tentatively planning our wedding. However, he became overwhelmed and nervous with the responsibilities that came with marriage and asked that we take things slower, all the while assuring me that he wanted to be with me forever. However, with my commitment issues, this “step back” really affected me. About this same time, I went through what many would call a “faith crisis” and questioned my fundamental belief in God. This also impacted our relationship severely and my ex was very concerned about “taking a risk” by dating someone who’s faith wavered. We began having issues for the next 7 months and both of us hurt each other deeply through our lack of commitment and through harsh things said. Near the end of our relationship he said, “If it’s this hard, maybe we’re just not meant to be.” He ended things “for good” a week after pressuring me to be exclusive with him. I reacted very poorly and said hurtful things and played the desperate ex-girlfriend. All of which was very out of my character. He told me he was not going to date me again, that we were both going to move on and marry different people. I took all of this very hard and know that I tried too hard to change his mind through frequent calls and texts. He blocked my number after a few days. I then signed out of all my social media because I recognize that I need to take time to focus on myself, but I still have moments of weakness where I miss him and try to reach out. I want to marry this man, and it is incredibly painful and unreal to me to believe its really over. I believe we can fix our issues, he does not. I feel like I just let “the one” go and ruined my chances of mending things with how I reacted in the first couple weeks following the breakup. He also lives in another city and I’m not really sure how to rekindle what we once had. Any advice?
Hi its me again. Is there any way to remove my previous post from the discussion board? I would like to do so if possible but couldn’t find a delete box. Thank you. 🙂
Me and my ex were together for 3 years since our junior year of high school. ( M-19) (F-21) we’ve always had our fair share of issues but always managed to get through it. I love her and I know that she loves me, she gave me so much love so there is no way my mind can trick me into thinking she doesn’t. I respect her decision to wanna move on but I don’t agree, I love her unconditionally and I really thought I was gonna marry this girl. Recently my parents left on a trip for a week and I stayed here at home all by myself. I ignored her the whole week they were gone to do selfish shit. cheating wasn’t an issue. I invited a friend over and we got high the whole week and did nothing but smoke weed.. she came to look for me but I pretended I wasn’t home.. At the moment Idk why I thought nothing of it, now it’s killing me because she did nothing to deserve being ignored a whole week and I regret it.. I went over her house after the week was over to go and talk and things went just like I expected. She told me she hated me and felt nothing for me and that our 3 years of being together meant nothing if I can go a week ignoring her like it’s nothing. she said she finally realized she’s not actually happy and that she lost her self. she said she lowered her standards and never really noticed till now. I approached her a few other times were it went bad as well. The other day though we sat in her car and talked for like 2 hours. before I got out her car, I told her I love her and she said it back. I felt like we might have a chance after all.. yesterday I called her at night just to say goodnight but she was acting like a completely different person than she was a few days ago. she said why do I keep contacting her if we’re not together. she said some mean stuff.. she said she hopes some girl breaks my heart and that I hurt just as bad as she is one day, she clicked on me right away but then called me back a few minutes later to say sorry for being so harsh. she said she’s just hurt and that’s why she’s being mean, then she said this really isn’t what she wants anymore and me trying to talk to her is just gonna hurt me more because it makes her mad, she asked me to respect her decision and let her be and to just do me. I love this girl so much and I think she’s my soulmate, I know I hurt her but what do I do? I don’t wanna bug her anymore after she asked me nicely to stop doing so but I also don’t wanna do the NC rule because that’s kinda the reason we’re done. My head is a mess right now, I don’t know what to think or do. any feedback would be highly appreciated thanks.
My x gf broke.up with me almost a month ago we still went out on dates after but she keep pushing me away anytime I try to ask her back n stop contacting her 4 days ago following a no contact rule it’s hard but I have faith something mite happen good she told me she hate me n never she n I ever again we fall out because of a big argument insults n nasty words she said she lost trust in me n she can’t see herself loving me again how long should I keep the no contact rule up for ? She n I was together for like 6 months I miss her bad
Hi Shane,
Thank you for your share. I think 30 days is a good starting point with no contact. Without knowing more about your situation, I can’t assess too much further, but NC will really help your ex miss you and realize the positive things you brought to the relationship.
I really hope this helps.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
Thank you I’ll take it into consideration n follow the steps ughh it’s so long n today she contacted me n talk about things n she was crying over the phone but she said she still don’t want me back but yet she called n was talking about things n even said she likes another guy but her mind is still on me n hw I broke her trust in guys I told her don’t cry n talk nice to her but also wasn’t begn or being clingy when she said she had to go she said bye n I said bye to what does this means that my ex gf called is it bad for me answering my phone ?
my ex broke up with me last november. we’ve been together 6 months. he’s dated girls before me but he confessed i was his first serious relationship. we fought every week but it’s mostly due to his anger issues. he broke up with me several times out of anger, but he would always want to reconcile the following day. it seems final this time since we had the “closure talk” in december and now it’s almost a month of no contact. in the talk he mentioned that he wont exist to me anymore, he wants me out of his life and he made it sound like he’s going to ignore me forever. i dont know if i should believe him since he’s said a lot of things like this in the past that he didnt mean. he also blocked me everywhere on social media.
he broke up with me because he’s always been jealous of my guy friend (who i’m not even THAT close to). he gets mad when i merely mention the guy’s name. i have no feelings for him whatsoever, but my ex still demanded i stop talking to him completely. i didnt want to give in because i didnt want to lose a friend. i guess my ex got fed up with him that’s why he broke up with me, but he never really had a reason to be jealous because im madly in love with him. we all go to the same school. if i want my ex back, should i ignore my other guy friend?
Hey I love your steps of getting your ex back but I need your help and what should I do ? So me and my girlfriend have been dating for 2 years now, and she just broke up with me, she said that she don’t want to be with me because I hurt multiple times in our relationship (I never cheated on her with another girl physically) but I have been caught txting other girls I should have and I have lied about it but I never did it again.. so after that we head to West Virginia together for college and when we got here stuff got worse … we agrued more and we got into a fight once .. and Situation went down when a girl txt me a pic .. that I did not ask for and before my girl ask me who was I txting and I said it was my cousin … and I lied to my girl because I did not want her to freak about me txting a girl she never heard me talk about … so she was mad at me for lying to her about the girl and she told me not hit her up no more .. but we started arguing and I was mad at my girlfriend so I FaceTime the girl and called her. So when me and my girl was not mad no more she check my phone and seen that I have been in contact with the girl so she got mad again… we have been arguing and stuff and she broke up with me and said she can’t deal with me no more . I love this girl so much I could not take it that she was breaking up with me cause I felt like she would move on without me .. and she the one for me. But we got back together cause I made this statement to her “you made me come all the way out here for nothing and now I’m by myself” and two day went by and I went to her room and we laid down and I ask her can she be with me now .. and she said yes but I started to know that thingsbwas changing with her like her txting was dry and not fun and she takes forever to txt back and when I get around her I can feel her vibe like she don’t want me around and etc . So yeah she broke up with me cause all that happen … so I accept the fact she broke up with me and I txt her this after she broke up with me ” I want you to know it was not my intentions to make you feel forced into a decision about the relationship but I realized some of my action probably made you feel that way, but i respect your decision and I want to let you know im willing to talk about anything or listen just hit me up ” and she text back this “Okay thank you. & it’s not like I don’t want to be cool or friends.. it’d be stupid to act like I just wasn’t with you for two years.” What do I do now ? Cause I have her in one of my classes and I trying the no contact rule .. but if she says hi to me do I ignore or do I say hi and just walk away ? And what should I do to get her back ? And we have class together so what should I do ? I want her to chase me down to and she post stuff off her on her snapchat story of her at party’s with her girl and guy friends …
I’m in a situation where “you’ll never know how important someone is until you lose him” kinda. We r in our late 40s both divorced and going on to our 6th year of relationship. I took him for granted and we had another big fight recently. This was when he hit the wall. He said he lost it for me not exactly sure how long but he didn’t tell me coz he wanted to work it out. I didn’t see it coming. I was the one who messed up (np cheating). Now I’m asking for one last chance. He gave me a slim chance. I call it skin cause he said now he’s open to opportunities if ever he finds one of meeting a new person. We still date, he keeps holding my hand and still tells me I’m still included in his retirement savings. No sex or passionate kisses but he still gives me lingering kisses. He told me to make it hard for him to give me up…now I’m rolling up my sleeves to win him back because I was careless all these years. Do you think I can win him back on my own and his options are open? He claims to be angry at this time. He doesn’t call or text me back but he would always pick up the phone when I call. He said he cannot see me or imagine me with someone new coz he knows he wouldn’t like it. What are my chances of winning him back. He said he will try to work on himself too but I need to work it out for both of us coz I hurt him too much.
Hi Blue Rain,
Thank you for your share. I know it can be hard trying to win back our ex’s. However, it’s definitely possible with the right strategy. You need to showcase your evolution to your ex, and this will help him see that you’ve able to make him happy long term. Without knowing the unique characteristics of your situation, it’s difficult for me to give you more specific tips or direction. If you’d like to make a strong game plan, I encourage you to consider booking a session with me or with Adrian. We’re here to help.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
Hey well I just wanted some advice on what to do. My ex is literally my best friend and he’s been my best friend before we started going out. (M-18) (F-17) We’ve been best friends for over 4 years now but only recently started going out in November. We did actually try dating once before this time last year but that didn’t work out either cause it was just weird and the transition. This time though our feelings were more mutual. We actually had a “thing” going one for about 4 months between us which I think helped. We didn’t last long though because of how distant he started getting once we started going out and said things were different now and kinda saw me as a new person and couldn’t be himself around me like he used to. It’s been about a good month since we broke up but we obviously still talk since we’re best friends. We obviously gave each other some space once we broke up but eventually we started talking again. I feel as if he’s starting to move on but I’m not that sure. I know I haven’t gotten over him and still want him more then ever and care for him. What can I do?
so my girlfriend broke up with me last week, i already know im the one to blame because of the way i acted, i can be horrible sometimes during arguments i called her some nasty names, but she gave it back just not as bad as i did, we argued for about 3/4 months, we was together for a year, before the arguments the relationship was amazing, we didnt fight, we didnt argue, we just had fun, laughed with each other, saw are friends, then it just all went down hill, because we got too comfortable with each other and stopped seeing our friends, we spent about 5 months straight with each other, not doing anything, just sitting in the house never going out. not talking to out friends, and this became a normal thing, we were both miserable and thats how the arguments started, we didnt have anything to talk about because we didnt do anything, we had the same conversations over and over again, i could tell we was both getting sick and tired of each other, but we just didnt do anything bout it, because even tho it wasnt healthy and good for us both we just didnt want to be apart, the arguments got worse and the name calling got worse, we even argued infront of her parents, and thats something i would never do, just out of respect, i didnt like arguing anyway but it happened, i dont know why i said the thing i said and i dont even know why most of the arguments started…they just did… but i also wasnt aloud to see my friends, i had to delete every female from facebook, snapchat and instagram, but i didnt mind, i just said to her, ” as long as you do the same” we wasnt too bothered about that, but i did start some arguments too, nothing major, i played this game called mobile strike on my phone and i payed a lot more attention to it than i did to her and spent soo much money on it maybe £800 or more, thats a lot for a mobile game, but she hated it, because i didnt speak to her for hours and hours and i stopped touching her like i used to and i stopped appreciating her body, we stopped getting intimate with each other because she didnt feel good enough, and she was miserable and upset, because of the game and the arguments, but she knows i love her, even tho we are broken up we still speak, and yes i did turn into that guy- i begged cried and spammed her phone like crazy i did it for about 4 days, and im guessing i ahve ruined my chances of getting her back? ive told her that i realize the mistakes that ive made, and i wouldnt do it again, and im really been honest, i didnt realize what i was doing at the time, but no shes gone i have, and i want her back, she says she still loves me but she really hates me atm, and now we are gunna cut contact all together, we have ended on it good terms, i said im sorry for been silly and immature about the break , i told her that i might surprise her on valentines day…she didnt say no , she just laughed ad said okay, but she said her feelings for me have gone and she hates me, but she still loves me, and she still tellls me to unfollow girls or delete them, what are my chances with her and what should i do now?.. i hope all this makes sense btw i dont look when i type haha
I need some advice.
My ex an I dated for a year and a half, and is my best friend.weve Gone through some rough patches but the happiest times of my life as well. He’s the one person that always gets me and actually cared about me. We have been broken up for almost a year now. There was nothing wrong with us he said, He decided he needed to move and experience things on his own. At first when he first moved we talked often he would still stay at my place the weekend he came back. We still text everyday but he wants to be just friends to be able to do what ever he wants. He keeps saying we need to move on. But the second were together everything is alright and he acts like we’re together. It’s really playing with my heart he knows I love him and want him back. I’ve asked him for a conversation. He just hates talking about it and says he doesn’t wanna talk about it right now. What should I do? I love him & hes constantly pushing me to become a better person. But how do I actually get him to open up again. How do I get us back ?
I need help me and my ex girlfriend have been in a lovely relationship everything was going that it was a commites relationship that we promised each never to leave one another ,we dated for six months but out of nowhere she asked me a question….what will you do if find me cheating n l replied l will be heartbroken later on that week she told me that she was breaking up with me l thought it was a joke but she was serious n soon she told she has found a new guy ,l tried to reason with her but it was no use all she had to say is she still did loved me but me and her could not date anymore l left her and havent heard from her in weeks and l miss her so much but l need advice on getting her back
I dated someone for a little over three months and we were each other’s first relationship.We got along well and did a lot together, he even was the first to say I love you, but the only problem way it was hard to carry a conversation with him so it was a lot of small talk. I thought things were going good until one day he said we were too different from each other and broke up with me because he said he lost his feelings for me but still wants to be close friends. I’m not over him and I really want to be with him again but I don’t know if he’ll ever like me that way again
And it’s been about a week so I would really love some advice on getting him back or even if it’s a good idea to thank you
Me and my ex starting talking again in about a week. Well, at least we started talking again on good terms. Within that week we were always texting each other how we felt about what was going on. We still keep in contact and we still call each other best friends, but I don’t feel friend zoned, and the reason for this is that they showed signs of still being into me, and I’m not completely over them. They have even told me, I’m not over you before but they have also said, I’m over you. And I’ve been in those rebound relationships and they ended. But when I was in those relationships my ex would get jealous. My ex has openly said they are not over me but also tells me about this one person they have a crush on. Which also happens to be one of my friends. The relationship ended on weird terms though. It ended when my ex said, “if you ever break up with me I’ll never love again.” They also said stuff like, “You don’t really love me, do you?” And then I was trying to convince them that it wasn’t the case and I didn’t know where this was coming from and all this stuff. And then they just said, “now that we are just friends, what now?” Like that’s the way they broke up with me. It ended on really weird terms. And we still get into little arguments about how the relationship ended and how we feel about it. We end up not talking for a day or two. Maybe even a few hours, but then we end up talking again like nothing even happened. I still really love them. And they know this. They also say they still want to be with me but they also don’t want “to hurt me”. But they also say that they have to choose over me and the other person they like that I previously mentioned. It’s a weird situation. But if you have anything that can help me I would like to know.
My fiance has just left me we broke up on Saturday and now he has tinder already and has blobked me he says that he will mail my stuff to me we still text because I text him first I asked if he still loved me he avodied the question as much as possible now I got an answer after I said if you tell mebyou don’t lovegebi won’t ask these questions again and I will help me move on so he said OK then, no I don’t. I miss him. PS he gambles a lot, drinks heaps, has no job is 27 living with his partners and owes heaps of money. He broke up with me because we keep fighting
Hello, I am currently on holiday with my wife of 4 years for another 8 days. There are ups and downs, sex hasn’t been great for the last 2 years, I have been watching port and her libido died on the way. So we have been having sex 1 a month. 1 month ago she told me she felt I was more of a friend and she needed space. She gave up drinking alcohol as at the beginning of our relationship I told her I didn’t want to date a drinker and she stopped it to be with me. Now after 4 years together, she said she wanted to drink again and said it was OK as I didn’t want to loose her, then she said she wanted to live in England close to her family and was tired of living abroad. Despite agreeing to that she seems very far, she doesn’t kiss me. I told her that I will be moving out after our holiday so she can get space. I told her I still loved her but it looks like she isn’t happy in this marriage. Is that the right thing to do and for how long? Also what if she contacts me? I ignore her for 3 weeks but how to get back in touch again. Thanks for helping
My guy and I dated for a month and a half after flirting for a while (he was one of my coaches). In the middle of an incredibly memorable, romantic, and fun night…and in the middle of a passionate makeout session that was beginning to escalate, I got scared and said I wanted to step back the physical intimacy, since he had just gotten out of a serious relationship, and although neither of us were dating others, he had said he wasn’t “ready for a relationship.”
He felt rejected, and like I was looking for excuses to not be with him. I told him it wasn’t a rejection, but the opposite – that everything between us was always increasingly amazing, and that I was scared, and I apologized. He said I didn’t need to apologize, and was grateful that I told him how I felt, and then said if that’s the way I feel, then we should just be friends. Then we made out for another hour.
We kept texting every day after that, and 4 days later, he said he was torn and conflicted over being platonic, and being my boyfriend. He said he found himself wanting me – and only me – and that wasn’t good for him right now (after being in a long serious relationship just a month prior to us dating), so he decided to rip off the bandaid and be platonic with me. Two days later, I showed up somewhere with a guy friend, and his friends saw and freaked out thinking I was already dating another guy.
Then I saw my ex at a party, and he kept trying to come over and talk to me. I was happy and polite, but kept turning to talk to other people instead of engaging in conversation with him. He hugged me goodbye three times at that party, as well.
Then – another 2 days later – his friend asked one of my friends if I was dating the guy they saw me with (my friend said we were just friends).
Then – 4 days after that – I went in to take class at his work from one of the other coaches (I had warned him in advance that I might come in on his days off, instead of continuing to take classes from him). Even though it was his day off, he showed up – I guess because he was hanging out with one of the other coaches after class…but he showed up an hour early…during the time I was taking class from this other coach.
I kept my back turned toward him, and acted like I didn’t see him, but saw in the corner of my eye that he seemed to watch me throughout the entire class. …and the coach of my class kept coaching me 20 minutes after class ended – free one-on-one private instruction. During that time, my ex paced on the sidelines, looking like he was quite stressed watching me with this coach.
Then, when I went to drive away in the parking lot, I unexpectedly passed by my ex’s car while picking up a friend to give a ride to. My ex didn’t realize I was picking up the friend, and came excitedly over to say hello to me. He leaned in my car to talk for a brief second until my friend interrupted to get in the car.
Then 4 days after that, he and his friends – totally unexpectedly and coincidentally – came and trained at a gym where I was training with a guy he knows I used to date(and who I’d said I don’t really keep in touch with), and another guy friend of his as well. My ex and I both train at this place sometimes, so it was bound to happen at some point. He came over and said hello and hugged me. I introduced him to the guy I was training with, and he complimented the guy…I think they knew eachother already.
I talked to each of my ex’s friends throughout the night, as we were training near eachother. Then, as I was talking to the 2 guys I’d been training with all night, I noticed my ex was right there – 5 feet away – when I was saying goodbye to people. So I barely turned to make eye contact, and he immediately walked toward me, probably having overheard our “goodbye” conversation. We hugged goodbye, and I said it was nice seeing him.
Then I left with the guy he knows I used to date (and who he knew years ago, and who I had said I didn’t really keep in touch with anymore). My ex is very observant, especially when it comes to me, so I’m sure he saw me leaving with that guy I used to date. It’s been 2 weeks since my ex ended things with me, and I haven’t tried to contact him in any way since then, even though he had said I could.
At that time, my ex had said he still wanted to hang out, as friends. I had said no, and that if things were over, I would disappear. In a scared and sad voice and face he had said,”No! We don’t have to do that…that would be sad.” I said, “you said you’ve been back and forth and have questioned your decision to end things with me. Wouldn’t it be easier and faster for you to get over me if I disappear?” He said, “Yeah, I guess so…but I don’t need that. I can handle it. …but if YOU need that, then I’ll support it, and I understand.” I never indicated my need, one way or the other. We talked some more and changed the subject, and he said,”If you decide to disappear, will you at least warn me? …oh wait…I guess you already did.” Eventually he walked me out to my car, and watched with puppy dog eyes as I drove away.
He hasn’t tried to contact me at all since ending things with me 2 weeks ago – other than talking to me in person (as described above). So…my question is, is there any chance of us getting back together? He seems to have no problem whatsoever coming over and talking to me when he sees me at places, and yet hasn’t texted or called, so I assume that means he’s over me, and this is easy for him. If that’s what makes him happy, then I am happy. I want someone who wants me (I’ve told him this), and I want his happiness, as well as my own, so I don’t want to do anything that would jeopardize that for us. I guess I’m just curious. I do have lots of other men trying to get my attention (this is something he’s observed and pointed out to me from day one), but it’s irrelevant to me. I really just want 1 good man…whether it’s him, or someone else…and a good quality man (like him) is rare. But at the moment I feel silly that I still have no desire for any other guy, that I still miss him – given the fact that we only dated a month and a half. That’s not like me. But our bond and connection just seemed so much deeper, more significant, and more unique than others I’ve experienced. Also, I’ve dated guys who I thought were chivalrous and kind, but he makes them seem like amateurs. I can’t wait for time to cure me of these feelings for him. I’m spending time with friends, improving skills, etc…but still frustrated that I miss him.
Hey,
I have a story to tell its very complicated and i just want some tips and advices. Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Until November of 2016 he told he has been having alot of projects and school is getting hard. He broke up with me but a week later got back with me but the day after broke up with me again. He went back out with me because he said for pity. I was living with him since October 2016 because of school. He was studying for nursing and i studied for surg tech. I always gave him space and me and him really never spent time with each other just because we lived in the sane house didnt mean i took his time from studying i never did. Around December he was cold and ignored me. I tried not to give so much attention until i realized it was getting worse he ignored me more and seemed like he didnt care. I decided to confront him about it and he told me to leave get out of his house he wants nothing to do with me. I left 13th of december and went back to my moms house. He never texted me until the 23rd of December he began to slowly text me but still serious nothing very sweet he came over for christmas where i bought him nursing shoes and a photo album of me and him. He thanked me and he got me an expensive make up mirror and purse. We texted just goodmorning and goodnight not really convo he came for new years and that day i gave him his house key back. We still told each other we loved one another. The first week of jan he began to text me a bit more with hearts and kissy faces. The second week it was starting to fade until till the 15th of jan i went over and me and him ended up having intimate relations. I remember that day he kinda led it on but i didnt want him to see me as a toy to play with so i went back the next day to speak to him and he basically told me it was a mistake,he just felt pleasure nothing else, and what hurt me the most was that he said this wouldve never happened if i never came over to his house. I heard enough and i didnt want to cry infront of him so i quickly got out and he just said goodbye anngie stay safe. I cried for 30 min in the car parked infront of his house and felt so stupid i drove back home and texted him i told him he knew that i still loved him and still has the courage to tell me it was my fault. I told him i love him and he said i love you back. I havent spoken to him and i recently found out that hes been searching this girl he goes to school with and her address i found this all out on the 22nd of Jan. I noticed its been this girl he worked on a project with in November so i spoke to the girl she told me she has bf shes been with for 4 yrs but they are on a break. She said her and my ex do have classes together and its gonna be awkward because of what i told her. I decieed to go and talk to my ex about this hoping he would just be honest but he never said just told me to move on and face it that me and him are over and stop being delusional. The next day she ended telling me we cant talk anymore because her mom told her to block me and not get into anyones relationship. She apologized and said she wished we can be friends but we cant because of her mom i found it kind of fishy but i said alright. That monday i confronted luis i told him i knew about the girl and he lied to me all that he said he didnt do anything to me and told me to have a good day and take care. I never texted him back he texted me a God loves you post on messenger i never replied. We havent spoken till thursday and i found out he changed all his passwords. I texted him and was gonna tell him that God loves you back he told me hes done with me that to leave him alone he wants nothing from me or anything to do with me. I was tryna figure out why he acted this way he said he has his reasons until i found out that the girl told him everything. I confronted her about it and she said yes she told him because she never lied in her life and she apologized to me i realized why he blocked me and got mad at me and then she said she understands me but cant talk anymore to me so she blocked me. I understood i may have done wrong but i was hurt, he lied to me, and ive went through this with him back then and i didnt want to go through it again. I told him hopefully hes able to forgive me but also realize why i did what i did and hopefully he can reflect on his own actions. He just said okay like he gave only one word responses. I told him he can hate me and block me but he wont have to worry about me anymore ill pretend like me and him basically never met and that he can just throw anything that deals with me he said okay. I havent spoken to him for 3 days he still has me blocked i was in pain. I saw he took down this post i tagged him on fb on new years on the 28th of Jan 2017. We havent spoken since then and i recently bumped into him he gave me back my picture and that was it. It hurt but i just want to know. Hey,
I have a story to tell its very complicated and i just want some tips and advices. Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Until November of 2016 he told he has been having alot of projects and school is getting hard. He broke up with me but a week later got back with me but the day after broke up with me again. He went back out with me because he said for pity. I was living with him since October 2016 because of school. He was studying for nursing and i studied for surg tech. I always gave him space and me and him really never spent time with each other just because we lived in the sane house didnt mean i took his time from studying i never did. Around December he was cold and ignored me. I tried not to give so much attention until i realized it was getting worse he ignored me more and seemed like he didnt care. I decided to confront him about it and he told me to leave get out of his house he wants nothing to do with me. I left 13th of december and went back to my moms house. He never texted me until the 23rd of December he began to slowly text me but still serious nothing very sweet he came over for christmas where i bought him nursing shoes and a photo album of me and him. He thanked me and he got me an expensive make up mirror and purse. We texted just goodmorning and goodnight not really convo he came for new years and that day i gave him his house key back. We still told each other we loved one another. The first week of jan he began to text me a bit more with hearts and kissy faces. The second week it was starting to fade until till the 15th of jan i went over and me and him ended up having intimate relations. I remember that day he kinda led it on but i didnt want him to see me as a toy to play with so i went back the next day to speak to him and he basically told me it was a mistake,he just felt pleasure nothing else, and what hurt me the most was that he said this wouldve never happened if i never came over to his house. I heard enough and i didnt want to cry infront of him so i quickly got out and he just said goodbye anngie stay safe. I cried for 30 min in the car parked infront of his house and felt so stupid i drove back home and texted him i told him he knew that i still loved him and still has the courage to tell me it was my fault. I told him i love him and he said i love you back. I havent spoken to him and i recently found out that hes been searching this girl he goes to school with and her address i found this all out on the 22nd of Jan. I noticed its been this girl he worked on a project with in November so i spoke to the girl she told me she has bf shes been with for 4 yrs but they are on a break. She said her and my ex do have classes together and its gonna be awkward because of what i told her. I decieed to go and talk to my ex about this hoping he would just be honest but he never said just told me to move on and face it that me and him are over and stop being delusional. The next day she ended telling me we cant talk anymore because her mom told her to block me and not get into anyones relationship. She apologized and said she wished we can be friends but we cant because of her mom i found it kind of fishy but i said alright. That monday i confronted luis i told him i knew about the girl and he lied to me all that he said he didnt do anything to me and told me to have a good day and take care. I never texted him back he texted me a God loves you post on messenger i never replied. We havent spoken till thursday and i found out he changed all his passwords. I texted him and was gonna tell him that God loves you back he told me hes done with me that to leave him alone he wants nothing from me or anything to do with me. I was tryna figure out why he acted this way he said he has his reasons until i found out that the girl told him everything. I confronted her about it and she said yes she told him because she never lied in her life and she apologized to me i realized why he blocked me and got mad at me and then she said she understands me but cant talk anymore to me so she blocked me. I understood i may have done wrong but i was hurt, he lied to me, and ive went through this with him back then and i didnt want to go through it again. I told him hopefully hes able to forgive me but also realize why i did what i did and hopefully he can reflect on his own actions. He just said okay like he gave only one word responses. I told him he can hate me and block me but he wont have to worry about me anymore ill pretend like me and him basically never met and that he can just throw anything that deals with me he said okay. I havent spoken to him for 3 days he still has me blocked i was in pain. I saw he took down this post i tagged him om fb on new years on the 28th of Jan 2017. We havent spoken since then and recently i bumped into him at work and he gave me back my baby picture and that was it. I left it hurt and once i got home i cried because it hurt. All those questions you spoke about were going through my head i need some tips.
I have a question for you. My ex broke up with me citing personal career and financial troubles. He’s messaged me twice saying he’s just making sure I’m doing well then making small talk. I respond in such a desperate upset way! Ive stopped talking to him for a week now and have begun making big personal improvements. How long do i continue not speaking to him? Why has he not asked me for his stuff or house keys back? Is that a stall tactic? Is it a way to keep me hooked? He dropped my stuff off one day while i was at work….
Hey, me and my ex were together for six months and we had a really happy relationship and she always seemed like she loved me incredibly and would do anything for me and for us, we have amazing memories and an amazing time together behind us. she had to go back to work on a cruise ship for several months and after a few weeks she told me she was unsure how she felt, followed by she didnt love me anymore. I tried to fight for the relationship trying to convince her to give us another chance, she cut contact with me. I sent her another email making an offer to come see her to try and save us, but she ignored it. I guess you could say I am trying no contact now as I am not writing anymore but she has blocked me and removed me on all social media and I am unable to, I want to give her space and try again if it helps. How long should I wait before messaging her again? or should I not at all and wait for her to make a move? thank you, hope to get some advice
Hi Jason, thank you for your share. I’m going to need to know more in order to really make an assessment. I encourage you to consider booking a session with us, we’re here to help: https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
I need advise my boyfriend and I where together 3 years and I ended it and I have never felt so alone and heart broken.I have told him I made a mistake and that I miss him and want him back in our lives and he said you need time and that was it..then he says in time all the feeling I am having with sadness,lonleyness will get easier..He doesn’t show emotions at all and is very stubborn and I am not sure what to do .i know I love him and I want him back and I know he is my soulmate but he ignores my texts when it’s anything about us and being together but if it’s just normal talking he will respond ..we have been apart for over a month now and I am so lost without him.
Hi Susan, I’m so sorry to hear this. My question to your is: why did you break up with him? Are you sure you don’t want him back just because you’re lonely? I know that when we feel alone, our minds and hearts can really get the best of us. However, I want you to really, really reflect on what told you to break up in the first place. That’s a very important part of this puzzle.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
I’m in a little rut with my mind and seeking helpful advice and how long I should keep my distance and no contact going. So I will start..
Last winter of 2016, I came across this one really great woman, That turned out to be a girlfriend in the later months. The relationship was great. We lived together for a bit, had the most fun, did a little bit of partying, romatic dates, great sex, had a kitten together, went on trips for her birthday, had arguments, differences, healed her of her painful losses, etc. But the one thing we shared was Love.
Things got rocky and we split, we were hot and cold for the longest time, and ended everything around my birthday. She quickly found someone after 2 days of no contact, I of course panicked and fled my love out. We still kept in contact on a good note, some what flirtatious and getting to know one another more and more. As the days passed, things got really unsettled. I was looking to fix everything but it seemed so hard for her just to be honest, and seriously work things out for our best benefit. She just didnt want to, she felt as if she was lectured, attacked, insulted because I told her the truth on many matters, something she may not ever have seen before.
So overall, she blocked me on everything but facebook. She simply stated and laughed at me because I wanted to talk it out. This is something she always did, was block when adversity hit.
So time went by and christmas rolled around. My mother and her, had a great relationship so she reached out. My ex said she was going to come over (she lives nearly 2 hours away) and watch christmas movies and spend time with us, possibly stay the night. I reached out to her but she wasnt interested in speaking with me? (Crazy).
I got better with myself and created a better outlook. She reached out to me later to get her deceased grandfathers hat back, so we conversated in a light heart manner. She didnt want to speak much but get her hat back. I explained I’ve moved past the break up and rather speak in a friendly manner, she was being resentful still. I let her alone and just gave her positive motion the whole way. She still was not interested in speaking, she just didnt want to seem to crack a smile or give off any kind of emotion. In that case, it was time to let it all out. I sent her a letter, not a love letter.
I reached upon to her sister that claims to hate me. Her sister was usually the type that wants to argue, call people names, lash out and the issues never even have to deal with her. We spoke because I wanted to know their grandfather’s first name, they couldnt even give me the respect on that, so I just apologized for my behavior on past occasions and that I was being manly enough and I’m not dwelling on the past because I’m a changed man. She had not one reply. I know I got to her.
I messaged my ex and told her I sent the hat and the letter, never gave me a thank you or anything. She really must despise my presence.
The letter spoke, how I was immature and insecure about my ways in the relationship and was seriously righting all my wrongs. I wrote how my life is on a better pace and no longer uptight and serious. I put my self forgiving heart into it and apologized for everything, and even said I dont care how you satisfy to view me because I no longer seek approval from others. It was sent with the best intentions.
Then… it came the next day. She got the letter and from countless mutual friends of ours, she had posted the letter on snapchat saying “When your ex sends you a letter #bye” seeking to make me look like an obsessive freak, but people knew that wasnt the case. Everyone had more emotion that me for surely, I didnt care because I’m a better man. Her sister got in contact with me… calling me pathetic and trying to really get under my skin, I did nothing but show love to her haha, she didnt have anything to say.
Then my ex messaged me in all caps explaining how she hates and I mean calling me every word in the book, criticizing my wisdom and how shes more grown and mature than me and we supposedly both know that lol. Same thing with her, I showed her love and she said I wasnt writing proper Grammer, then said… @$!# you. (Crazy). I was once again blocked.
Couple weeks pass by and I’m unblocked on facebook, for the moment. I tag her in this very spiritual video my friend made off his wisdom, called hate is the path of fear and love is the path of faith. She blocked me. Maybe not the smartest decision. We have not spoke since that hateful and angry message in nearly 2 months.
I’ve came to realize that I must accept that we are in a position of no contact and it must be respected no matter the case I miss her. I have strong faith this will all blow over and we can reconcile and she can see the hurt she possessed to me and herself. I’m a strong believer that the people that hate you are the ones that love you, and the ones that hurt you know you the best. I infact, miss her like crazy. Even after that hateful message, I do not view her any differently(thats true love). I am still blocked on my media websites from her except one, but she may not know about it as its for combat purposes only and motivation to my communtiy. I come to the knowledge that, strong emotion is better than no emotion at all. If she didnt care not one cent about me and she was truly over me, this emotions would not show. Others (friends) believe she may really move on, but they’re not realists. I am coming to professional advice to see how long I should wait till I come in contact and is reconciliation still a possibility. Thank you, God bless you all.
Hi Corbin, thank you for your share. I know how challenging and nervewrecking it can be to determine what your ex is feeling, whether or not your ex is over you, and how to fix your breaking relationship. Your situation is complex, but I am confident that it can be corrected. I encourage you to book a session with me or with Coach Adrian, so we can help you develop a roadmap.
I really do appreciate the encouraging words. What do you believe can be accomplished even though it seems like a tough case?
So i’m gonna try making this short. my ex and I were together for almost three years. We had been living with friends for the past two years and decided it was time for us to move in just us. So we did. We had a wonderful summer, on Holiday and visiting family! Right before moving in to our new flat, he also pre – proposed to me. Then we moved in to our flat, and he became distant, stressed because of money (As he always is) from the first day. Not even two weeks in this new flat, we are suddenly having a conversation where he says I deserve better, that its not fair that i give 100 when he gives 50, and that he loves me and i’m like family but that he just doesn’t feel it in that way anymore, that the spark, mainly sexually is not there. And that its always up and down. And he also said he doesn’t understand why, because I’m so beautiful, hot and perfect. So we broke up, (loong story between here, but yeah) I found out later on after the break that he had flirted with this girl when he was with me in my home town,whom i known since pre-school. Which is not like him, at all. And when I confronted him he said now I could hate him and move on. I also asked if he wanted her more than me, and he got angry even and said: NO, God look at yourself and look at her? I said, so why did you do it? And he said he cant explain.
so months pass, and we have some contact. He said at some points that not one day goes by without him wishing he had those feelings for me again, because of all these things that he loves about me, but made it clear he doesn’t see us getting back together and doesn’t want to sat things like that because it will hurt me. Then one night he askes to stay to the flat. I wasn’t supposed to be there, but had to in the end. And we ended up sleeping together.. Once in the evening, once in the morning. And when he left he gave me the most passionate and loving goodbye kiss. He also said and made it very clear that he cant come back, before and after.. Then I got a message when he left saying it was good seing I was doing so well, but that doing that is not good for our heads. He then a month later had a missed call from me, asked what was wrong and I said everything was fine (I had been drunk-New years eve.. First drunk dial from me since the breakup in September – Well done me!) And then when we planned on having a phone call, he bailed and just cut contact. 6 days later, he hadn’t replied to any messages. Then suddenly I get a birthday message. Then, we didn’t have contact for a month. I commented on my friends video which was a type of video we had a thing with tagging each other in when together. I was the only one commenting on this video. Until he comments below me, tagging a girl I dont know! Then i decided to like his video, and then eventually call him a week later.. He was in a bit of a rush, but asked me how I was doing etc..But said we could possibly call or text another day. So today I sent him a message asking if he wanted to call one day where he had the time. And I got a reply saying that he doesn’t want me to get the wrong idea, that he still feels awful but that he doesn’t think having regular contact is a good idea, especially because he knows how I still feels (his words) He also added that please dont take this bad, I only want the best for you. I replied just saying that because he had mentioned having a chat earlier and I saw his name pop up below my comment, I realised we hadn’t spoken for a long while.
No reply yet. But I got so hurt by his reply. I dont really understand anything. And well. What is going on in his head? Thank you for “listening” to me…
I need advice. Me and my ex gf broke up in the end of november. She said it was better if we took a week apart. I misjugded this sentence, and went away the day after, not letting her know where i was. After 4 days i reached out due to mutual friends bothering me. I went over to our place, and i had to pull it out of her, that i was really over. I tried begging and pleading, going to the same places where she would be. After a week away, i tried going back home to “life” together. We had sex, i cried, we fought, in the end she kicked me out. In the end at 31dec she dropped a name of a guy in a context that leaved question marks why she would say that. In the first week of januari she gave me 2 weeks to pick up my stuff and leave. I did this after a week. She had packed all my stuff, which i couldnt check up on if it was al correct. On moving day, it wasnt, and i was really pissed and more broken of the situation.I forgot allot of things also to move out, so it still wasnt closed. College’s and friends noticed this, and they made a plan with me. To get my things back, ask for money of our belongings together with 3 friends unanounced. I took my love her last money of the month.. and i was full of regret how i could have done this. Asking everyone if i should be sorry, they said no, she did it to herself by how she handled the last 1.5 months. 2 weeks ago i reached out, after 3 weeks of nc, because i still wanted her back, and i was full of regret. I asked if she could forgive me, and she could not. She said it was way to late. We eventually talked trough our final money problems, who owed whom which. And that telephone call was 1.5 hours. We even talked about how she was, what she was up to and she was pretty open. Saying things she wouldnt normally tell anyone so soon. She also said, that when i thought it was over, its wasnt really over. Even at the day she kicked me out, she blamed me that it was my own choice, and that at that time it still wasnt really over. And this was 10 days later that i pulled it out of her mouth: its over.
I kept in contact with her, always my initiation. Promised her that i would do all i can to get her trust back for what iv done(taking money), and eventually so that she will open up to me. Eventually she kept saying its over, i dont like you, if found another boy, im not available romanticly. I am still persistant on getting her trust back and getting her back. Though i dont know if the door is really closed now. My gut sais i should try my best, in all ways for her.
I forgot to mention she is 22 now, i am 28. We where together for 2 years and 3 months. Lived together for 9 months.
I need advice,
My situation is VERY complicated and I have no idea how to handle this…. for the last 3.5 years up into a month ago, I was living with a woman who had a child from a previous relationship, we were “officially” together for only one year but after we broke up, we continued living together due to being on the lease. We still did intimate things, sex, foot rubs, me cooking dinner, and basically feeling like we were still together(or at least I was). We recently had a big blowout and I moved out a month ago. Now I find out from her that she already has a new boyfriend who was previously a friend who she never really previously thought about dating until now. I have been gone from our home we shared for a MONTH.. To make matters worse I am so attached to her son, and he views me as his father because his father is no longer alive and I have been there since he was a toddler. She’s been very hostile towards me and even hateful, I really care bout her and her son and would love to reconcile, but I honestly feel that it isn’t possible.. Can anyone give me ANY Ideas?
So my ex of 9 years broke up with me. I’ve change drastically since then. Things he wanted when we were together. He says he doesn’t know if he wants to get back together. All he knows is that he wants to be friends right now. We have 3 kids together. And last night he hugged me tightly for awhile and we were on the couch and he lays his head on my lap and falls asleep for awhile then he woke up said he had to go after he drinks his tea I offered to make him. He drank that hugged me and left. He’s still being nice and talking to me but I just wonder what that meant. I don’t want to ask him what that was about yet. Ideas anyone?
Hi Rebecca,
Thank you for your share. In order to make a more in depth analysis, I invite you to book a session. I’d like to learn more about what makes your relationship unique. It’s in these details that we can develop and implement the necessary solutions.
Best,
Coach N.
Hello, how long should I enact no contact?
My ex and I were together for 6 months. We broke up 2 weeks ago in a violent explosion, and I broke his TV. Afterwards, he cried and told me he loved me and just wanted me to trust/believe him but he hoped we could still be friends after all of this, so I thought there was a chance of getting him back. I talked to him 1 week ago to replace his TV, but I slipped into begging and pleading, unfortunately, and he told me he missed me but didn’t want me anymore and couldn’t be with me.
I accepted his break up after I left. I have not contacted him in 7 days, but we still look at each other’s social media posts. How long, in all, should I wait before initiating contact?
My ex girlfriend and I dated for 6 years on and off. There’s a 12 year age gap between us, but we do have some common background with each other. There were some rocky times in the relationship I must admit. We also said a lot of hurtful things to each other, but there were a lot of great times together too. For about a year now, things have been hot and cold with her. My reactions to that haven’t been too understanding I must say due to impatience and fear of losing her. Our last conversation ended horribly. I thought she was just stringing me alone with the hot and cold treatment. I snapped from anger and frustration. That our last conversation a month ago. My pride didn’t realize that she was giving me another opportunity during the hot and cold phase she was going through. She won’t talk to right now. She has blocked me on Instagram, changed her number, but she hasn’t blocked me on facebook. That was just a summary of some key details of our relationship. I want to be with her again, but does she feel the same way about me? Please help.
I’ve been broken up with my ex for a year. He has blocked me from his phone social media and yes I’ve went as far as to text him from random number. Always express my love for him and how I want to fix us. I’ve sent him beautiful cards, edible arrangements. I only time he answered him was on Xmas just wishing me a merry Xmas in return. For every text I send, I’m blocked. Just yesterday I sent him a text saying. It would be great if we can put water under the bridge and that the past is the past, how are you?… no response. Our relationship lasted 4 years and it ended terribly through a drinking altercation. I feel terrible and would love the opportunity for him to see past that incident, thought? I don’t want to be that obsessed ex
Hi Melody, thank you for your share. I know how hard it is when trying to determine if your ex is over you. I encourage you to refrain from reaching out for a little bit – let him remember how wonderful your relationship used to be! If you need any help with this, I invite you to book a session. I’d love to help you resolve this.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
I made contact with my ex haven’t talked to him since 2000. We been talking off and on for a few months. He keeps telling me he loves me but not in love with me. He helps others hurt and humiliate me. Then tells me I was just the rebound girl. I ask him to call me and he does. Watches how many times I view him on Facebook. I just don’t understand what he’s up too. Any advice would be great.
Hi Kris, this situation sounds complex. I encourage you to take a step back and determine what you both want and expect from one another. I can you help you with this, if you need. Please visit our coaching page.
Wishing you the best always,
Coach N.
I recently got out of a relationship of 8 months, and we’ve known each other for almost a year (if that’s relevant). He ended the relationship, saying that he wasn’t 100 percent anymore, after I fussed at him for not being so romantic when we were intimate, and that he wasn’t as caring (towards a different topic) like he said he was.
After realizing he was serious about breaking up, I did a lot of begging and anything in my power to keep him. I eventually got to the point of suggesting a break, even though we were living together. (He chimed in, saying it would be hard, since we were in the same room.) At the time, though, I was saying a lot of things to keep us from completely leaving each other’s life, and he just kept being so negative the chance he could get. Example: When I kept saying it was possible things could work, he quickly stated that “things could also not work”. It was very possible but just how he was being so negative and quick to respond that way, made me feel he was just angry and saying what ever he could to get me out.
Later, I felt like we agreed on a break. He was on his games again and when he finally went to bed, he wanted to cuddle and kept pounding my bed, asking me if I did. Then he added, “People on breaks cuddle!” I finally gave in, because he wouldn’t stop pounding on my bedside. During that time, he kept moving his arms, acting like he felt too awkward to even touch me. (I thought, “This is just resting against each other as friends.”)
I’m not sure if it was that same night, but I do remember a night where I called a friend of mine to help me deal with the realism of the breakup, and it did help. My ex and I cuddled again that night, but he felt better about it, because earlier that day he told me (by text) when he was going to work that he just didn’t feel 100 percent anymore, and he didn’t want to give me false hope. He said he DID love me, but he basically said he didn’t feel the same anymore. I pleaded so much, and I said that he was just upset, mentioned giving me another chance- we almost broke up before all this happened too-, but he kept mentioning we can be roomates, but that he didn’t want a relationship or I would just have to go home.
I got desperate and went to his family and [online] friends for help. I was hoping someone could change his mind, even though I knew going to them was a bad mistake. I was so scared though! Realism hit me fast, and I had no say- so. ‘Found out that my ex called my grandmother, saying that I wanted a break, but he just couldn’t do it. (He did this before I contacted his friends.) I was in so much pain, crying my heart out, eyes and glasses drenched in tears. I felt people would help me, but it was only temporary.
He never let up, and I felt completely helpless. He came back from work, and he asked me if I had talked with his friends and family and said “yes”. He didn’t seem mad, but he was upset. He told them that I was hurt and scared. We didn’t eat supper together like we use to nor did he change in front of me. Minor things I enjoyed..
I was barely eating, and I couldn’t. I threw up what ever I did eat. I felt so sick. That night, cuddling each other, he actually held on to me like he once did. He asked about the friend I called, and I told him who it was, but I didn’t say what we talked about. I knew he knew, because I heard him outside the door, and he would quickly go in to the bathroom. But we held each other, hugged each other, he would kiss my firehead, tell me he did love me, said he would miss us holding, and he comforted me as I cried. The next day, I literally felt like it was a dream and was hoping it was. (I’ve never felt that way before.) It definitely wasn’t.
I skipped a lot of things, but he basically kept mentioning he didn’t feel the same, promised me he’d focus on himself, that he wasn’t going to look for anyone else, and if they showed up, he would push them away. He said this every time I mentioned it, on different days. He would continue to tell me he loved me, and he didn’t want me having false hope, but it got to the point where he told me things are possible. He would kiss me on the lips, and that would happen on more than one day and not just one kiss either. I do remember him asking for a sexual favor, one night as well.
Anyway, on the last day I was there, he hugged me, told me he loved me, pecked my forehead, waited for his family to leave (in my opinion), then kissed me passionately before I left. (He had all ready helped me pack, and he was reassuring me he wouldn’t find anybody else, that he was focussing on him, that he loved me but didn’t know in what way, and that I did love him more than he did me. But I truly felt everything he said was sincere.) I never really had trust issues with him.
But the things that he said was that we argued too much, and he wanted me to hang out with his family more- though I was trying my best, and I felt, at one moment, he was doing his best to blame me. He even said, on an earlier day, that we weren’t compatible. I instantly called bull, and I told him this was also the gf he said he wanted, seeing as he did say, in some form, “the opposite of his exes”.
When I left, he told me to message when I was ready. While driving, I accidentally called him and hung up. He called back and told me to tell him when I got home safely. I did then, but that’s it. The next day, he messaged saying how much it sucked not seeing me there. I didn’t answer. The next day a “hello”, then he asked a question, but he added if I wasn’t ready, I didn’t have to answer so I didn’t. He ended up calling, and we talked. He asked if I had talked to his mom about long distance, and I said “yes”. He said that she told him it was between me and him. He asked, “Hypothetically speaking, if I were to do a break (basically), what would that be”? I told him that we needed to be friends first, focus on ourselves, then see what happens. He agreed, but he also asked, “But being on a break doesn’t mean a relationship, right”? I just said we have to miss each other. Message sometimes, not all the times, not occasionally, but sometimes. That was basically it! The convo. ended.
After that, he’d start a message, some day I would. We wouldn’t talk every day, and we wouldn’t answer always so quickly. He’s called twice all ready, and we Skyped, which was terrible. I cried again, tried to get him to agree to a long distance. He was getting irritated, he had been drinking a lot, mentioned the condoms I took in fear of him sleeping with another woman, even though he was fine with it in person, and he said, “You tried your best, didn’t you? But I found some in my back- pack!” I asked was he gonna sleep with someone, and he said “no” but use it on himself. (That kept me paranoid for the longest.) Then he mentioned a friend of mine getting with me. So rude about it! Had to tell him to stop.
To end things, I do love him. I really want him back. His last call, because I ignored him for the rest of the night- prior to his call when he asked if I was awake- after he asked how bowling was, he talked about my night, he talked about my job I was going to get, and I hit a note about if he was going to work that day, and he mentioned his diet. I didn’t think much of the guy, and I shrugged it off as just a call, but it got to me later. I just don’t know if he is playing mind games with me or if he still loves and wants to get back with me. I just want him back, and it’s because I truly love him.
Please tell me, after all of this, if it is possible. I really want to do what ever it takes.
Thank you!
Michelle
Michelle,
Thank you for your share. I can only imagine the pain you’re enduring right now. However, if you really want to know if your ex is over you and what to do to fix it, I’d recommend you consider booking a coaching session with Adrian or myself. Ultimately, you’ll have to reset the relationship completely. That’s the only shot you’ll have at making this last long-term, as both of you have gotten comfortable arguing with one another. I look forward to connecting with you.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
Good morning,
Me and my ex have been together for a little over a year. We started out just being friends and even in that time we were inseparable. We ended up living living together right after becoming an item. Things were great but we are both very alike. We are stubborn and have big egos. We have broken up 3-4 times now for periods no longer then one month which was NC for 3 weeks tops usually. This recent break up was very unexpected even though I brought it on. I made a big mistake on Valentine’s Day. I waited until last minute to order flowers thinking I could have them delivered to her job. I wanted them delivered to her job specifically because she has been having a rough time at work. Within the flowers was intended to be a note for a special dinner the upcoming weekend since we both work full time and go to school at night on mondays and tuesdays. I had a funeral and reception to that lasted til about 530. I texted her explaining my mistake and apologizing about how horribly I felt, she was “hurt” and said I don’t treat her as a priority due to the fact I didn’t think sooner about getting her flowers. She said she wasn’t mad I didn’t get her any she said it was the principle I didn’t make her a priority. I called her and she forwarded my call and then I got a hold of her the second time. The morning of Valentine’s Day I was using the restroom and her apartment is a single bathroom, she wigged out since I was using it and said she needed to go to work and that I needed to hurry up but went about it very rude by yelling. I respected it and hurried up. She left without saying bye or anything after doing so since she starts work at 7am. Later in the day she did apologize for her behavior earlier that morning but I accepted her apology and told her I understand her frustration and that I was sorry for not realizing that she needed to go so quickly. I was frustrated at her behavior and didn’t forget it. After getting a hold of her the second time that night it came to rise again in the conversation, she was already agitated and I was trying my best to keep composed. I stated “this is why I get uncomfortable at your place sometimes because you treat me like an idiot”, referencing her outburst that morning. She stared “then don’t come over here then.” After hearing that I was furious and said “what’s he point of dating then, let’s break up if you feel that way”. We both hung up and I texted her saying I was coming to get my things. I had went to the grocery store prior to that call and actually found flowers that were nice, they were $100 long stem roses. Had I known I would have found nice flowers I never would have texted her and never had this conflict. However when I went to get my things I still tried to give them to her, she didn’t want them and said I was throwing them in her face. After I left and returned home she called me which was 20 minutes later, then she texted me saying that she wasn’t angry she was just hurt and that she didn’t think either of us handled that maturely and said it sucks that I took this route but she will respect it. I didn’t contact her for 4 days after because I felt angry still that she didn’t realize how sorry I was. I get her flowers at least twice a month randomly and will bring her home little things that I know she likes. I’m not as thoughtless as it may seem I just made a big mistake which I own fully. I sent her a three page letter on the fifth day fully explaining my feelings on how much I love her and how thankful I am for her and going into great detail about all the ways she is my number one priority and what she means to me with examples and great depth. Still no response and I know she got it. I called on Friday night and she didn’t answer so I left a voicemail just apologizing and saying how much I missed her as well as a text reiterating that and letting her know I’ll respect whatever wishes she has for our relationship and asking to talk at some point over the weekend. No answer all weekend. So Monday comes and I was losing it so I just asked her to get my things of good value, Thursday or Friday of this week. She said she will drop them off sometime in march when the girlscout cookies come I had purchased from her family. I stated I didn’t need the cookies and just wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. She said I can get them Thursday from her aunts.
She has always dumped me and I have never dumped her. I have always taken her back because of how much I do love her and how much I know she loves me. Our relationship really was great. In the past when she dumped me I reactovated my tinder and that really upset her but since she dumped me I didn’t see anything wrong with it. In turn she did the same and then started talking to this guy who she said she only matched with because he was really nice to her and that she told him she loved someone and was with someone but still wanted to be friends. Even after we got back together I didn’t like that she still texted this guy and snap chatted and played phone games with this guy. After all they were both on a website for dating which is how they met and she still kept him as a friend. I’ve told her and she said I should trust her and that I know her better then that.
So now after dumping her she activated her account again and matched one of my best friends on purpose just four days later.
I’m just trying to get an idea what to do? I’m deffinetly going to go NC because I feel that I have explained how I feel with collected thoughts. I want to be with her so that is my goal and I will make changes and take whatever time I have to so I can make it work.
Hoping to get a ladies standpoint on how she would feel being in this situation and how she would view the ex and his actions and ultimately her decision afterwards and what I can do to get her back.
Any input is appreciated!
Good morning,
Me and my ex have been together for a little over a year. We started out just being friends and even in that time we were inseparable. We ended up living living together right after becoming an item. Things were great but we are both very alike. We are stubborn and have big egos. We have broken up 3-4 times now for periods no longer then one month which was NC for 3 weeks tops usually. This recent break up was very unexpected even though I brought it on. I made a big mistake on Valentine’s Day. I waited until last minute to order flowers thinking I could have them delivered to her job. I wanted them delivered to her job specifically because she has been having a rough time at work. Within the flowers was intended to be a note for a special dinner the upcoming weekend since we both work full time and go to school at night on mondays and tuesdays. I had a funeral and reception to that lasted til about 530. I texted her explaining my mistake and apologizing about how horribly I felt, she was “hurt” and said I don’t treat her as a priority due to the fact I didn’t think sooner about getting her flowers. She said she wasn’t mad I didn’t get her any she said it was the principle I didn’t make her a priority. I called her and she forwarded my call and then I got a hold of her the second time. The morning of Valentine’s Day I was using the restroom and her apartment is a single bathroom, she wigged out since I was using it and said she needed to go to work and that I needed to hurry up but went about it very rude by yelling. I respected it and hurried up. She left without saying bye or anything after doing so since she starts work at 7am. Later in the day she did apologize for her behavior earlier that morning but I accepted her apology and told her I understand her frustration and that I was sorry for not realizing that she needed to go so quickly. I was frustrated at her behavior and didn’t forget it. After getting a hold of her the second time that night it came to rise again in the conversation, she was already agitated and I was trying my best to keep composed. I stated “this is why I get uncomfortable at your place sometimes because you treat me like an idiot”, referencing her outburst that morning. She stared “then don’t come over here then.” After hearing that I was furious and said “what’s he point of dating then, let’s break up if you feel that way”. We both hung up and I texted her saying I was coming to get my things. I had went to the grocery store prior to that call and actually found flowers that were nice, they were $100 long stem roses. Had I known I would have found nice flowers I never would have texted her and never had this conflict. However when I went to get my things I still tried to give them to her, she didn’t want them and said I was throwing them in her face. After I left and returned home she called me which was 20 minutes later, then she texted me saying that she wasn’t angry she was just hurt and that she didn’t think either of us handled that maturely and said it sucks that I took this route but she will respect it. I didn’t contact her for 4 days after because I felt angry still that she didn’t realize how sorry I was. I get her flowers at least twice a month randomly and will bring her home little things that I know she likes. I’m not as thoughtless as it may seem I just made a big mistake which I own fully. I sent her a three page letter on the fifth day fully explaining my feelings on how much I love her and how thankful I am for her and going into great detail about all the ways she is my number one priority and what she means to me with examples and great depth. Still no response and I know she got it. I called on Friday night and she didn’t answer so I left a voicemail just apologizing and saying how much I missed her as well as a text reiterating that and letting her know I’ll respect whatever wishes she has for our relationship and asking to talk at some point over the weekend. No answer all weekend. So Monday comes and I was losing it so I just asked her to get my things of good value, Thursday or Friday of this week. She said she will drop them off sometime in march when the girlscout cookies come I had purchased from her family. I stated I didn’t need the cookies and just wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. She said I can get them Thursday from her aunts.
She has always dumped me and I have never dumped her. I have always taken her back because of how much I do love her and how much I know she loves me. Our relationship really was great. In the past when she dumped me I reactovated my tinder and that really upset her but since she dumped me I didn’t see anything wrong with it. In turn she did the same and then started talking to this guy who she said she only matched with because he was really nice to her and that she told him she loved someone and was with someone but still wanted to be friends. Even after we got back together I didn’t like that she still texted this guy and snap chatted and played phone games with this guy. After all they were both on a website for dating which is how they met and she still kept him as a friend. I’ve told her and she said I should trust her and that I know her better then that.
So now after dumping her she activated her account again and matched one of my best friends on purpose just four days later.
I’m just trying to get an idea what to do? I’m deffinetly going to go NC because I feel that I have explained how I feel with collected thoughts. I want to be with her so that is my goal and I will make changes and take whatever time I have to so I can make it work.
Hoping to get a ladies standpoint on how she would feel being in this situation and how she would view the ex and his actions and ultimately her decision afterwards and what I can do to get her back.
Any input is appreciated!
Hi Nicole,
I hope I’ve reached you in time. Don’t reach out yet. Give it time. If you really want to rebuild this relationship into something stronger and more stable, you’ll need to take it really slowly. Time is in your favor right now. In the interim, try focusing on what triggers your anger. If you need help developing a plan that’ll be your best bet at getting him back, I invite you to book a session with me. I’d love to work with you.
Wishing you the best always,
Coach N.
Hi NJ,
Thank you for your share. I know how challenging this can be. In order to salvage this relationship, you’ll need to reset it completely. It’s hard to change the parameters if you stay in contact, because it only reaffirms that breakups don’t mean anything for you both. They’ve lost their impact. If you need help with what to do, I encourage you to book a session with me. I’d love to provide that female perspective you’re looking for.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
Good
My girlfriend has broken up with me and says what ever I do she wont change her mind and doesn’t care or love me. I have tried to talk to her but she being mean and stubborn. It is my fault because I didn’t give her enough time and never really listened to her, it’s been a week and I’ve never felt this bad and lost all interest from work. All I do is think about her and remember the times when we where happy and in love. What do I do can I win her back and is there any chance I do.
Plz can you really help me, because I do want her back.
Hi Richard,
We can definitely help. I will need to hear more about the dynamic of your relationship, but we resolve issues like this frequently. I invite you to book a session with me. I’m looking forward to connecting with you.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
Ps we’ve had arguments in past and she even said we’re finished but got back within a few days, and acted like nothing ever happened, because we we’re in love and cared about each other. Now it’s been a week since we broke up and she won’t talk properly or even forgive me. She text me saying I hope you leave me alone and stop ringing or texting me. She says I’m not that same person and she doesn’t want to be with me, but she rings me saying if I know how work a gas meter, but stated if you don’t know then don’t think off this as excuse to coming inside. Luckily I did and said I can help only if you want me to, she agreed to it but acted like she barely knows me and me feel like a stranger. I tried my best to help her but she didn’t even talked to me instead was being mad probably because I’ve let her down and she always thought I will never do to her because I cared about her and made he feel safe, which I still do and most probably will always because she was my rock who always helped me with my problems and business. I do regret what I did was not right but she did know my problems and aware of the stress I was going through due to my business. I have made changes which craves for is more time for me and her without any problems at work which I always got to go and sort out, now I have done sorting these problem out and finding more time for me and her she’s not interested and not bothered. But I do think deep down she might have some feelings left for me which I’m hope do exists, might just wait for her to stop be angry and think about the good times we had all the jokes and laughter we had and felt like love when we looked in each other’s eyes.
How do I prove to her that I have changed and how I feel about her and she means more than words can explain. I have never felt like this for anyone else in my life. I want her to be happy and have all the success in her career, never could hold any grudges or hate towards her
Please can anyone give me some advice and tell me if they have ever been in situation. Even after the break up which was a week go and we were still talking and even texting each other which stopped due to she saying I pushed her into saying don’t even contact me. She is now being hard and impossible to get her to listen and work things out, as far as I know I’m not blocked on fb, or phone but I don’t want her to get more mad at me and think about all the problems which caused the break up. We just loved every moment we got together and the jokes were great. She did say to me that she doesn’t miss me at all, which made me feel like I’ve might have lost A best friend who I could talk to and a very beautiful amazing girlfriend who made me smile and laugh like a little boy.
Her birthday is end of march and I’ve never missed wishing her either over phone,text or when we saw each other. Will a text be a good idea instead off ringing her or going round to see her with her present which I ordered before the break up and arrived just a few days ago, which was surprise for her including a few nights away.
I’m really confused and upset, which I’ve never been before regarding a girl not interested in me.
Hi Richard,
Thanks for sharing. I’ve just replied to your other comment. I’m looking forward to chatting.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
Hi coach, i live with my fiancee and three weeks ago we had an argument that led me saying too much words that am not supposed to say. Afterwards, i apologised but since then his attitude changed towards me. When I tried talking to him about it he said he wasn’t interested in getting married anymore and that he prefers being single for the rest of his life. He asked me to move to the empty room cos of that but I refused and stayed back. Days and weeks past, he sometimes doesn’t pick or return my calls when he is out and i try to check up on him. He started guarding his phones and when I was able to get through to one of it, i noticed he has being chatting and calling another lady. When she called while i was there I asked him who she was and he said a friend nothing attached. Ever since he changed we had had sex once and this time around he withdrew before it ended. That got me devastated and i felt i’v been used and dumped. I felt the ground should just open and swallow me up. I felt pain in my heart. I cried and asked why he said it was a mistake but i knew it wasnt..even my tears didn’t mean anythng to him. I am trying so hard to make him realise I was sorry for all I said but it seems worst by d day. Please coach what should I do?
Hi Ify,
Thank you for your share, and I’m so sorry to hear about your current situation. It sounds completely dreadful. However, I do feel like there is hope in this. I’m going to need to learn a little bit more in order to assess this more thoroughly. If you’d like, I invite you to book a session with me and we can develop a strategy to maximize your chances. I’m here to support you.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
Thanks so much coach for yr response.. he hates me so much now and its so unbearable. I feel am losing my self esteem and its making me sick. I will love any to book a session with you if there is still any possibility for someone who doesn’t want me anymore and hates my presence to have a rethink?
Hi guys!
My ex and I were together for 2 years. He broke up with me going on a year, now. After the breakup, emotions were high on both ends. Block here, block there. Reminisce here, reminisce there. He offered friendship, I denied it. I wasn’t ready for that emotionally. I hurt him. I didn’t realise it until later, once I started doing the true self work. I hurt him. I was dishonest. Things were even crazier after. Up until a couple of months ago, I moved into definite “crazy ex” territory. I was extra present. Too many texts. I was pushing him away. We spoke three weeks ago, and we agreed to chill on the contact. This was RIGHT before Valentines Day, so it hurt but I kept my cool. I didn’t contact him for our agreed 2 weeks. I think I held on to that number a bit hard, because I contacted him and he ignored it all. I finally sent him a message along the lines of “if you need more space, or time, let me know”. I told him I wanted to be honest with him and open. He responded with “you say that, but the constant contact isn’t giving me the space” – “I don’t want to have to worry about you thinking we have potential”. He reference that he offered a friendship and was shot down, and that he has moved on. So, I told him that at the time, I wasn’t ready. I made it clear that I would be lying if I said I didn’t care about him and hoped that one day we could be together again, but that I want to be able to communicate with him and see him, and extended an olive branch. Again, while staying honest that he shouldn’t expect me to pretend I have no feelings. I then messaged him today, asking if he’d like to go to a game with me, since I got tickets through my job. At first the conversation was very “you should ask someone close to you”, so I spoke to that emotion and expressed the regret for our distance but that I hoped we could just go to a no pressure game. To which I got “how would it be no pressure. You can’t even keep me unblocked on FB”. I made it clear that I understood and do not blame him for his reservations, given how hot and cold/emotional I’ve been. He said I must have many options. I stressed that while that may be, I’m not concerned with options. More or less, I tried to shift th energies from the negative he was coming at me with and speaking to the emotion I believed he was loading in his words. I know he’s upset and hurt, and I just want to make sure I help him understand that it’s ok to trust me again and try to build new. I ended the convo letting him know that the offer still stands and that I’d love if he came, and wished him a goodnight. He responded with a relatively positive goodnight and wishing me well with whatever I had going on for the rest of the night – I haven’t gotten that response in a long time.
My ultimate question is…what do you think? How should I approach the Wednesday night game? I don’t want to ruin the small amount of progress I can’t help but feel that I’ve made here.
I greatly appreciate the push in the right direction. I don’t believe he is over me like he claims.
My ex and I were together for a little over a year. Admittedly it was a bit of a bumpy ride as I felt a lot of pressure from her when we first started dating to move things along quickly. I had just gotten to a really good place in my life and was feeling really good. I was on fire for sure and I know that’s what attracted her to me in the first place. We had some very real conversations early on talking about what we wanted over the long haul and were very much aligned. That being said, I wasn’t fully ready to put all my eggs in one basket at that point. I had finally arrived to a really healthy place after dealing with getting over a previous relationship from a couple years prior. I was completely over that person at the time. She too was dealing with getting over a relationship she cared deeply for, but was only about 6mos removed and in some ways hadn’t fully moved on. The first time we hung out as friends (with a another friend with us) she took me to meet her ex. Weird right?
We had an open agreement for the first month or so that we dated and then she said she wanted to be exclusive. I agreed, but I still felt a lot of pressure from her to move things along very quickly. in retrospect, it makes sense. We were aligned with what we wanted in a partner and she was 29 and I was 34. I had been hurt in the past by spending too much time with someone and I didn’t want to repeat the same mistakes so I kept her at arms length. We had great chemistry in the bedroom, but I felt like the relationship was a little superficial (in retrospect largely because I had my walls up). With time I started to let my walls down and our intimacy grew, but I was unhappy with the job I had taken despite the fact that it was allowing me for the first time in my life to start to develop a career. She was so supportive and kind throughout all of this, but I decided I was going to move away and that I needed to hit re-set so to speak. In some ways I was running from the relationship too, as I felt that something was missing, but I think all that was really missing was me being fully willing to admit to myself how much I did care about her and what she really meant to me.
Shortly after moving I realized everything I had left: The city I loved, the girl I loved, and the job that was allowing me to start taking full responsibility for my life. We started a long distance relationship and it was honestly one of the best/easiest long distance experiences I’ve ever had. She came back to visit me a couple times and even though both times were really good, we had a fight each time. The first time she got jealous of a waitress who was flirting with me at a dinner. I did my best to brush it off and show no interest but my girl was quite jealous. When we got home that night she told me that “you’re mine!” and I felt very possessed. In retrospect she was just trying tell me that I mattered to her and she was trying to set boundaries? Friends of hers after the fact said they thought she was over-reacting as well. We talked through it and made up and everything seemed awesome. The second time she came back was for my brothers wedding and we had a pretty amazing weekend in Chicago planned after the wedding. My parents marriage had just collapsed after 30+ years, I was stuck in my hometown regretting my decision to leave everything good and I was watching my little brother marry the girl he loved. While I was crazy about this girl, I couldn’t stand the thought of having this amazing weekend with her only to have to put her on a plane and have to say goodbye once again. I protected my heart and was largely aloof to her at the wedding. I practically ignored her. It was awful I feel awful about it. On the way to Chicago in the car I couldn’t hold it in anymore and I told her that I thought our relationship was only based on sex and that I wanted to have something deeper with her. This hurt her a lot as I think given our intimacy in the bedroom there was that something deeper, I was just so upset with myself and what had happened I was projecting. Our relationship was far from perfect, but what one ever is? So often it seemed to flow very naturally though when I didn’t resist it. Regardless after the wedding incident we didn’t talk for about a week. We started talking again, and things seemed to be working themselves out except for the fact that her old ex, who had contacted her in August was talking to her again and she told me she was curious to explore things with him again. I should’ve put my foot down and said no, but at the same time I wasn’t really in a place to do that. And maybe I should’ve to tell her how much she really meant to me and that I didn’t want to lose her. Regardless, we continued to talk, things seemed like they were rebuilding, but she had a fateful dinner with her ex and decided almost like a switch had flipped that she wanted to be back with him and still had feelings for him. I was pretty crushed. I was upset and nothing I could say was going to change her mind.
We stopped talking for a bit, but then occasionally she would hit me up or vice versa, but I would make the mistake of telling her I was sorry etc and basically being too available. That being said, her and her ex are have now purchased a sprinter van that they are building out to live out of and chase adventure etc, although I don’t see how that’s going to work when she has a full time job she needs to work, and honestly I don’t see her living in a van happily for more than a month or two as she needs her creature comforts.
I’ve come to realize that I took her for granted a lot of the time. I had my heart closed down for a good portion of our relationship and it rips me up as I feel like all she was after from me was love. I’ve been totally capable of giving it in the past but something held me back until I started to stop resisting what she was trying to give me.
I fear that her and her ex are going to “live happily ever after” as she was pretty nuts for him, but at the same time I know that many of her friends said she was head over heels for me even after the wedding and that getting back with her ex is an avoidance strategy to not have to deal with her feelings for me and the fact that we split. We aren’t talking anymore. Full no contact on her end. Blocked me on social media, maybe on the phone too? She doesn’t respond to emails unless they are strictly business related (she does some design work for me) and it sucks. I know that I have to focus on me, and some of the cool things I have coming down the pike in my life, but really all I want is a second chance with this amazing girl. Sorry for the novel, but any help you can offer would be awesome.
Part of me wants to believe the thing with her and her ex is doomed as it was before, but another part of me thinks they’ll be fine since they were apart for a year and have likely grown. Help..stuck…
Hello my name is John. I dated this lady for about 9 months and we had a lot in common. The only thing I really didn’t care for was her attitude and anger issues when she didn’t get what she wanted. We took a couple. Teams for a few days twice while we was dating then the middle of January I broke up with her. 4 weeks went by and I tried to talk with her again. We went out once then she told me she slept with someone. I said that was ok we could work on that then we set up a date for that Saturday but that Thursday she told me she couldn’t do it that she will always love me no matter what but didn’t want to be in a relationship with me anymore. It’s been a week now with no contact. I believe I really truly love her. What do I do?
Hi John,
I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. Im sure you’re wondering whether or not your ex is over you and what to do to fix it – I feel taking a step back right now can really help you. Let her have the opportunity to really miss you. If you reach out in a few weeks after no contact, I feel she’ll be more receptive. If you’re looking for insight on what to do during no contact, I invite you to book a session with me. We can fix this.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
ME and my wife are separated right now I’m staying at my mom’s she’s staying with her auntie we she Won’t talk to me and when I get a chance I ask her what do she won’t me to do she tells me nothing move forward she say she wants a divorce but hasn’t gotten it yet she wasn’t replying to my text’s but now she do a little bit what should I do still give her space I was actting needy and begging that I’ve changed texting calling all the time what do I do now
Hi Tee,
It’s normal to go a little nuts when we start to break up. We call, text and beg, but that never really works. I encourage you to try something new – no contact. Give your wife some time to herself and let her know what life actually means without you. Trust me, this makes all the difference.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
hi, my girlfriend broke up with me sadly she is my cousin she is saying she is not into me any more i saw sad posts on facebook for her after i cut the connection for like 15 days and i didn’t respond to her last message and kept her waiting for 3 days i went offline on facebook to ignore her, after 2 days i called her and she told me she is alright everything is ok, and i started to confess that i still have feelings for her and this feelings is not about wanting her to come back to me but it’s about that i want her to see happy, and she said yea i know what you mean, and she said iam good don’t worry, i told her that those posts made me feel sad, and she said don’t overthink things all is good don’t worry that was the end , 2 days later i called her again telling her that i care for her more than anything and if she think about it again ill make her the happiest person in the world and it’s not about me at all it’s all about i want to make you happy, she told me that she knows that she will be safe with me and basically iam a perfect man but it’s all about i don’t have feeling anymore and then we talked casually and ended the conversation in peace and she told me to live my life, do you think i have any chance to get her back ? , i’ve tried so hard to look strong and invincible but she is sure that i still love her and want her back ( btw she used to talk to me once or twice per week to ask how am doing)
Hi there! I was in a relationship for almost 3 years. I was the one to break it off and the reason being, lately we weren’t connecting anymore. There was no romance, no connection. It was like we were friends but we were still dating. What pushed me to break up with her was I had an important job interview and she told me to call her after I was done. I texted her that it was over and if it was okay to call. She said to not call because she was busy. She was at college but I know it was in between classes and she wasn’t really busy. She was with girls from the basketball team that she just met so I got annoyed because she ignored me for people she just met. She knew we were going to break up too after that. It was a dumb reason but I did it anyway. A few days later, we talked it out and we both agreed on the break up and I gave her her stuff back she had gotten me and she was devastated as was I. Things were rough after that. We still texted and saw each other at work. She was giving me mixed signals. She had kissed another girl a week after our break up and I was heart broken. She had also drunk hooked up with a girl on New Years. We had our ups and downs throughout the months. We would talk and hang out and have a really great time then some times we would go days without speaking and avoided each other at work. After awhile, I realized I wanted her back. When I told her I did, she would push away. So I told myself there’s no point. When I pushed away, that’s when she tried to get me back. It was very back and forth. It’s going on 6 months since we had broken up and it’s been 2 weeks since we last texted. I sent her a closure text and I left the decision up to her and she told me she hasn’t had time to respond but she will, but it’s been 2 weeks. I still want to be with her. She was my first love. I’ve been on dates with other people but I still want her. She’s been really busy with college, basketball, working 2 jobs and she has a lot more friends now. My suspicions are that she’s been hooking up with other girls for sure. I’ve done all I can to get her back. I know I cannot force someone but I know she still loves me and there’s some feelings by the way she would some times act within the 6 months. I don’t know what to do. Please help! Thank you!
Hello😔 my boyfriend recently broke up with me like 4 nights ago we were together for 9 months all my pregnancy my baby isn’t his and he knew it but he took me in his home with his family. The reason why he dumped me was because im to insecure i would always tell him why hes checking out girls or why he watched certain stuff on YouTube he would deny it. Wasnt porn tho. That night i took his phone he tried getting it back but i didnt let him we wrestled for a bit then he told his mom i hit him and that he didn’t want to be with me. The lady never liked me anyway. So she kept asking for his phone i told her to stay out of our relationship please but she kept nagging. Then his sister came in she started recording. The mom took the phone out my back pocket so i reached for it and since she was pulling hard i let go she hit herself with the phone. So she said call the police. And he backed her up and the whole family was against me. Cops rushed me out and i packed what i could. I been calling him nonstop but today i quit that. He doesn’t answer my calls. Just today he did we talked but he said hes done that i should move on. Ive made him laugh couple times but hes still saying he rather be single. Im in desperate need of help!!!💔💔💔💔
Hi Mariana,
Thank you for your share. I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I encourage you, no matter how hard this sounds, to take a step back from the relationship. Let the dust settle. This is the best you can do until emotions aren’t running as high.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
Me and my ex girl dated for almost 3 full years, and it’s been over 3 months since she broke up with me saying she needed time and space. She said she fell out of love but had no real reasons for the split. I begged for for the first couple weeks, and In the last 3 months I would check up on her text her every couple weeks but she showed no interest. She would say things like “you never know what the future holds” or “give me time to forgive you” never really giving me closure. I wrote her a beautiful letter a month ago she never responded or even brought it up. Then the last time we spoke about 2 weeks ago, she said it bothered her that I bettered myself once she walked away from me, not when she asked me to during the relationship, she then proceeded to block me and my whole family on everything!! So I’m now in no contact for the last two weeks with no idea what she’s up to, all I know is she said she’s happy and she loves her new job. We broke up a little after she quit her first job out of college, while I still have 2 years remaining till I graduate. She’s 22 I’m 20.
Hey,
i have been in a very strong relationship for 7 years, and since last 1.5 year we are in a loong distance relationship. We were talking about marriage also involved our parents. Suddenly my bf decided to break up with me. I have been shattered since then, i went in a no contact period for 30 days and then called him normally he didnt ans once and msged me saying he is out i called him again and he answered we talked for 5 mins and disconnected the call. Later he msged me saying whats the deal why again calls and contact. I replied just to be in touch he says, its better to stay away and not talk. i didnt respond much but 2 days later it was a our dating anniversary a very special day for us and it was my moms bday too. so i msged him reminding him some good memories, to this he replies that yea we had great memories and happy to have them with you. Later a small converstation about him wishing my mom, in the end I texted him saying that what i expect from him is only that we remain in good terms and not behave like enemies and be friends like normal and he said we should not talk because if we talk then i will not be over him … he told me this 3 times and then i asked him are you over me he says yes.
to this i replies good for you and i dont wish to discuss about our relationship but be normal and have casual talks when we feel like
I dont know if my last conversation was the right step or no but i am really confused what and how does he feel. He does reply to me but looks very determined with his decision. I had thought i will msg him occasionally and build a friendship and then win his trust and wait till he shares something with me. I am also planning to visit my country after a month since i have vacation and meet him. i asked him to be friends to which he says we should not talk because if we talk i will not be able to get over him. He told me this like 3 times and stressed that I will not be able to get over him. When I asked if he was over me he says yes he is over me. then i said good for you so can we just talk normally to which he agreed. Later he told me we can remain friends but this friendship will not be justified to our future partners. I have not replied anything to that.
can you guide how should i take it forward i dont know what he feels and wants. Should I stop msging him or should i talk to him occassionaly till I meet him when I go back to my country after one month.
Hi JS,
Thank you for your share. I’d like to learn more about your current situation and the relationship/break up prior to replying with feedback. The more I know, the more thorough my response can be. I invite you to book a session with Adrian or myself. I’m looking forward to connecting with you.
Best,
Coach N.
We are both 19. My boyfriend of a year and a half based on reasons he says are not my fault whatsoever just his mind getting the best of him. He says he doesn’t want to waste my time anymore with this relationship because we both want 2 different things in the future mostly being that I want kids and he doesn’t. He feels as though he will never change his mind on this so although he loves me greatly we just can’t be together ever. Another thing he said was that he was spending more time worrying about me than he was worrying about
Himself regardless of the fact that I really gave him nothing to think about because he always knew where I was, what I was doing, and who it was with (none of this was by his request either I just always felt like he should know as to ease his worry). When he broke up with me he told me that these had all been on his mind for months and that instead of talking about it to me he expected it to just go away on its own which he later clearly found out things don’t work that way so instead of finally bringing it up and trying to work it out with me he just decided the best thing to do was end it. I did the mistake of begging for him back a couple days after the relationship and letting him know that it really sucks that he didn’t give me or himself the chance to talk it out with me and I’ve since given that up and basically just have told myself that we won’t be back together and this is for the best but I don’t truly believe that.’I love this man with my whole heart and I’d do anything to get him back.. I just want to know if I should just give up all hope on him. He has told me plenty of times that he loves me but he has since stopped because it says it makes it really hard for him because he has hurt me so much when he never really intended too. I was his first everything, while he was not mine there is just something different about this guy and I know it in my heart and gut that he is the one I’m meant to be with.. I just want to know if I should give up all hope or if I should keep hoping that one day we’ll get together while also taking the time through this break up to become a better a stronger me. Side note:when we did have a talk after breaking up he told me that he did really want to be with me but that the relationship was really consuming and suffocating to him. What do I do?
My ex and I have dated for 6 months. He just recently told me that he had feeling for someone else and he saw me as a friend. Prior to this we dated for about 4 years. We have been broken up for about 4 days and he took me out to lunch yesterday, we had a conversation and he says he just doesn’t want to disappoint me. Do I really need to apply the no contact rule. He also wants to take me out for my birthday next weekend? What should I do?
Hi Susie,
Thank you for your share. Your situation is unique and no the basic no contact will not necessarily apply. I invite you to book a session with me via this website so I can learn more.
Best,
Coach N.
This is a difficult one because I still love her even though every bone in my body says no. We have a young kid togeather i have been apart from her for 3 years, I left her after trying to fix our relationship for a year she cheated and I just never believed her after that her phone would always be off if I ever asked what she did for lunch randomly freak out on me and say I was questioning her when I wasent. Well I have tried to get back with her twice both times she lied to me and was seeing someone while we were trying to fix things. She would string me along as if I was a backup then would make every excuse that she could of why it won’t work. But even when she was with these two 1 1/2 year relationships she would always flirt and so one. So it’s been 9 months since her last relation ship and supposedly 6 months without anyone. We have been talking and she tells me how much she misses me and wish we could be together and when I start to agree and start trying she stops and says she’s not sure. Went from talking when shed was off work to ignoring half of my texts and calling me during lunch breaks but when I try and call it gets ignored we are spending the weekend to geather next week to see if anything is there. Any advise is she just stringing me on yet again? Am I just stuck in love with a compulsive liar. I have cut down my communication with her and she will call seems just to talk about herself never asks me anything I get about 5 words in? Love help
Hi James,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how stressful and painful this can be. I want to share that your ex believes she’s allowed to treat you this way, as when you first found out, you forgave her and didn’t end the relationship. In order to reset the parameters of this treatment, I invite you to consider no contact. It can really help you get back with your ex.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
Hey,
My ex broke up with me 3 months ago after a 3 year relationship and began dating my friend within a few weeks. We were amicable and it was a shame until I found that out. I moved out of the house and we can be civil. I’ve made a point of not contacting her, the only time we speak is to sort things out about the house. I want her back but obviously very hurt by her actions, how long should I keep on doing a non contact period?
Hi Sarah,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. Seeing your ex with someone else, especially a friend, can be really tough. In the end, the length of no contact will be relative to the dynamic of the relationship. In order to provide you with this answer, I invite you to consider booking a session with me so I can learn more.
best,
Coach N.
Me and my ex partner were together for 6 years on and off and after an argument he completely cut me off. Its been just over 3months now and in the first month i was txtng constantly as we had fort in the past so I didnt think it was truly over. He responded once to say we are over and that he was sorry, while im still coming to terms with (what just happened). I havent txt him in over a month but he hasnt responed to any of my txts just that one txt. He still has the same number and has been on my fb page. I dont no if hes in a new relationship as we are long distance but I feel I just need closer as I didnt take the break up too well. I still love him as he was apart of my life for sometime. I just need some advice
Hi Lexcy,
I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I encourage you to take a step back from the relationship. He needs time to heal and so do you. At a later date, once he’s calmed down, you’ll have the chance to speak to him and he’ll be receptive. Patience is critical to you now.
Best,
Coach N.
Hi Adrian,
Thank you for your share. It seems to me like your ex is beginning to miss you, which is positive! However, if you don’t work on discovering and rectifying the route cause of your jealousy, you’ll only re-enter the cycle that hasn’t worked for you so far. I invite you to book a session with Adrian or myself – we can help you bring those things to the surface and prepare you for a relationship that can last a lifetime.
Best,
Coach N.
Hi,
Please can you help give me any advice.
So me and my ex just broke up. this is the 2nd time he has broken up with me.
The first time we was together for 6 months, he randomly went distant and then one day he came round said he loved me but was unfair to be with me if hes thinking about another girl.
I broke down, he cried aswel but things turned for the worst i became severly depressed. he stuck by me and ended up helping me through it all, the girl who he liked at the time said choose her or me. he chose me over her. then as time went on we got closer and closer but we never got back together because he needed time. (hes never not been in a relationship)
i was confused at this because he said he loved me but couldnt be together.
New year went and i said because im going to work on a cruise line can we finally be together he then asked me to be his girlfriend a few days before i left.
Everything was good whilst i was away but 3 weeks ago he became distant and then said that he’s not happy and wanted to finish it. At the moment he is in his final year at uni so i understand its stressful and it could be a part. He also used to tell me hes unhappy within himself.
He wants to be friends but he does love me but thinks we should cut communication for a while, he did say we could meet in 3 months when i get back home.
He never made any effort to message me its always me.
Im confused i feel like im holding onto any false hope.
do u think hes over me. I ask him well do u see a future that we could possibly have together he says. jessica i dont know all i see is right now and right now im not happy and i want to be friends.
he also unfollowed me on instagram i asked why and he said becasue i dont want all your pictures on my feed.
Please Help me.
im struggling with the no communication thing. I honestly deep down feel hes the one. He brings me up when im down he makes me feel safe.
Hi,
Please can you help give me any advice.
So me and my ex just broke up. this is the 2nd time he has broken up with me.
The first time we was together for 6 months, he randomly went distant and then one day he came round said he loved me but was unfair to be with me if hes thinking about another girl.
I broke down, he cried aswel but things turned for the worst i became severly depressed. he stuck by me and ended up helping me through it all, the girl who he liked at the time said choose her or me. he chose me over her. then as time went on we got closer and closer but we never got back together because he needed time. (hes never not been in a relationship)
i was confused at this because he said he loved me but couldnt be together.
New year went and i said because im going to work on a cruise line can we finally be together he then asked me to be his girlfriend a few days before i left.
Everything was good whilst i was away but 3 weeks ago he became distant and then said that he’s not happy and wanted to finish it. At the moment he is in his final year at uni so i understand its stressful and it could be a part. He also used to tell me hes unhappy within himself.
He wants to be friends but he does love me but thinks we should cut communication for a while, he did say we could meet in 3 months when i get back home.
He never made any effort to message me its always me.
Im confused i feel like im holding onto any false hope.
do u think hes over me. I ask him well do u see a future that we could possibly have together he says. jessica i dont know all i see is right now and right now im not happy and i want to be friends.
he also unfollowed me on instagram i asked why and he said becasue i dont want all your pictures on my feed.
Please Help me.
im struggling with the no communication thing. I honestly deep down feel hes the one. He brings me up when im down he makes me feel safe.
Hi Jessica,
Thank you for your share. I want you to see the positive perspective of your situation – you’re overseas and traveling. Use that as a distraction during no contact. Stay as busy as possible, and speak when you return. If you truly believe he’s the one, then don’t rush it. You can do this.
Best,
Coach N.
Thankyou Natalie!
Im trying the no contact thing im not very good at it i go about a week then we speak :/
Can you explain what you think he means by saying ‘were not compatible’ when we broke up i asked him this today and he was like i dont know. he gives the answer dont know to almost everything.
I honestly think he wants to be more of a friend with benefit.
So me and my ex broke up five days ago over something real petty and small which It’s mostly my fault , I kept blaming him for things (likes on Facebook) and just be real grouchy and I did it to see his reaction to see he if he really do care the first 3 times I broke up with him he chased me without a doubt he look over my grouchy ways .. anywho I started a argument once again and it was real bad ! Actually our worst argument ever so lie on social media like I’m with someone else .. and he wasn’t for that .. he blocked me on everything,, he hasn’t reached out to me he don’t call anything and know he’s dating /talking to someone. So I texted him to let him know that I was sorry and I have my ways and that I really do love him and I only nag a lot cause I care and basically just pouring my heart out and his response was that all this whole break up is my fault (which it is ) and that he’ll forever love me but he is trying to move on because I don’t and didn’t appreciate him and he is right !!it is my fault I explained to him o am not perfect but know I think he’s over me for good I went on his page today and I see he is talking to someone and that broke my heart . We have been together since I was 15 and now I’m 19 & he’s 20 it’s hard for me to get over him how can he just move on in less than week ? Do he not love me anymore and is he done with me for good?
Hi Christile,
I’m sorry to hear about what you’re going through. I know how painful this all must be for you. I’m happy to report, though, that when it comes to signs your ex is over you, it’s just really unlikely that he’ll have moved on in a week from so many years. Rather, he may just be trying to distract himself from the pains associated with the breakup. I would encourage you to keep your distance and focus on you. This will make all the difference.
Best,
Coach N.
About two weeks ago. My bf said he couldn’t do it anymore. He wanted to take a break. He has been super stressed out over college, work and homework. I totally understand since I’m still in college. He’s got bills… we all have bills. So, that Monday I was supposed to go and celebrate a friends’ 21 bday at a bar. I had been waiting for him and his friend to get back from dinner. My bf texted me saying he’d been stressing out all day. I asked over what? He said,”you.” I asked “why me?” And he responded that he was afraid to see me with someone else even for one night. I told him I wouldn’t do that to him. He means to much to me and I can’t move on that fast. I am new to the whole love thing. But I have dated 4 others times in the past. But it’s nothing like this one. This guy is way different. We me through a friend. And he came over a lot to our house to hang out with the friend. Later on, we ended up hanging out all together. Then a few months went by and we hung again. His friends that I lived with, finally sat me down and said that he really liked me. But he couldn’t tell me. So I have him a chance to hang out a few more times. And then we clicked from there. After living conditions got bad for all my roommates and I, we split off and got our places. My bf and I were great together. A few months went by. And now he is different, he’s starting to hang out with his friends again. He hasn’t done this since he graduated high school. I know work has him super stressed. But hints have changed. After we decided to take a break. We were good the first week. Talking a lot. Telling each other we missed each other…. then the following week shit hit the fans and he took a 360 turn. I was going to his mom from time to time about him. And she had done the same to make sure he was being him and not being a butt. Well things flipped. He thought I was the reason for him getting called the bad guy with things. But his mom had a rule for him of letting her know when he was home or staying somewhere. So she stopped talking to him and was furious with him. Then he finally talked to her. But last Friday I ended up in the ER. Won’t go into detail. But we hadn’t talked for a few days. So he saw my Snapchat of me getting blood drawn. He called me and asked why I was there. Told him a few things and that I would keep him posted. So right after he hung up. He texted me. Then asked to make sure things were gonna be ok I said idk still waiting for results to come back. I finally messaged him back after my phone died and I was at my friends house for the night. He said he hopes I get better with a blushing face and kissing face. I said thanks me too with a smiling face. Now after that. We talk very shortly…. it doesn’t last long. But I have this weird gut feeling he is talking to other girls. When we made the take a break. He didn’t want me talking to other guys. I stopped talking to my friends a long time ago. So it wasn’t a problem. But now I just feel he is talking to others. He has been posting more on Snapchat than he usually did. And more about his car on fb. Prior this week he posted a pic of Oerks dating a car guy. It quoted “will always offer to drive,” “they don’t give up on things when they are broken.” And ” they will never cheat, cuz racecsrs cost to much to be vandalized as revenge.” Could this be him putting out that he is also hurt he broke things. He also admitted the other day that he was sorry for treating me badly. Lately he has been. And I can’t figure out why. He’s never acted like this. Some think it has to be one of his friends in his head. Do you think he could still be missing me????
About a week ago my girlfriend broke up with me saying she’s tired of taking care of me ? And saying a I need to get my priorities right saying she’s unhappy? I tried the no contact but she seems to txt me every 2 days or what not. She then after the break up after 2 days she went on a motorcycle ride with some guy so I commented on someone’s photo they shared with it saying comment if you you have a crush on me so I did to get I wouldn’t say revenge but to say hey why you doing this. I asked her if she’s willing to wait for me while I get my priorities right she said idk was her exact answer. I told her that I’ll always love her no matter what and I’m bettering myself to make a difference in me because that’s what I want and that’s what she told me, she said if I wanted her back that I would have to fight hard for her she said not making no promises. Idk what to do or how to win her back sort of speak. She gave me my stuff back and gave her hers back. She said in a txt if you loved me and wanted to be with me you would of never let me leave your driveway. In response I said reason I didn’t because you rode with someone on a bike and said it was fun she told me to move on. But I’m not moving on I told her that she keeps telling me no you can t do that you might not want me. When I told her I still loved her unconditionally she said she was shocked. I’m confused on what to do and what she actually wants. Please help
Hi Eric,
I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know that this is stunningly painful. I think it’s important for you to take some time reflecting on the relationship. What sorts of things did she want you to get together? What is the arguing about? If you’re able to resolve the root cause of these issues, I believe you’ll maximize your chances at getting back with your ex. If you need a hand with this, please let me know – I can help you.
Best,
Coach N.
Hello. I broke up with me ex approx 10wks ago. He went online straight away and within around 4wks I think started dating and then made it official via a public view ‘in a relationship’ status on facebook. I did react to this via text as it hurt me a lot. This was a month ago and I implemented a 30 day no
contact period for myself afterwards to step back which I have just completed. He did not contact me either.
I am working very hard on myself and trying to move forward as you advise but I still would like me ex back. I have not interfered with his new relationship at all but she seems to be at his house a lot. I only know this because we live very close by.
I also dont see his friends now so I cant tell whether he is in a rebound relationship. I am worried that he is not in a rebound relationship after all and really is serious about her.
I made text contact for the first time this week after the no contact period. He replied quickly but I havent had any further contact with him.
What should I do next?
Hi, I had been with my ex for two years, she broke up with me because she felt like she couldn’t be my girlfriend, as well as an emotional outlet all the time (because I have been going through some difficult times lately). And that she didn’t feel ‘in love’ anymore, and she felt closed in, because I had too much free time on my hands and she did not.(That were her words, but I think she didn’t tell everything). So I have been going no contact for about 17 days now (3 days after the breakup I texted her how she was doing, and got an very late and small response, so that’s no good) and she has exams coming up which go on till the end of May. First I thought that I would break the No Contact rule because I am going on a vacation next week, and I want to tell that to her, but I don’t know if I should proceed with that… So I really want to know what to do, should I call her this week, should I wait for her to call me. Or should I just wait till all her exams are over…
Hi Anonymous,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story. I know how painful it can be to feel rejected by an ex. Without hearing more, though, I’ll have a difficult time assessing what a solid plan of action can be. I invite you to book a session with me. I can help you strategize on how to turn this around.
Best,
Coach N.
Hello everyone. Ive been with my ex bf for 2.5yrs but we broke up for some reason i cant really tell. Here’s what happened, we’re both raised in thailand, someone in his family died so he had to go back to thailand for 2 weeks, he got very upset because of what happened. He was not even able to file for his leave at work in the right process.. When he came back here in US, i know he was still grieving so i just didnt care for the bad attitude hes showing, the next day after he got back we had a huge fight. I ask him to take me to work and he did. Before i get off the car i was asking for a kiss like what he will usually do before goin to work but he acted like he doesnt wanna give me one. So then before i clock in to work i message him on messenger saying that i f*cking hate his attitude i called him bitch and i said he’s an asshole for treating me this way and he knows that i cant go to work if hes acting that way and then i wished for him to die. And he just replied “im done with you, let’s go separate ways” so i realized it was my fault. I went too far for all ive said, i then said sorry right away and went back home 3hrs before my shift ends to just beg for him because i know it was something serious. I started crying and pleading. I know he’s problematic about his job too, he almost got fired because of abandoning the job for 2 weeks so i know thats one of the factors why he’s very mad. And then that day too he told our family that we’re done and never getting me back because im such a bad person. He’s acting like he doesnt know me for 2.5yrs. I dunno. I just feel like im dead . At first i thought he only needed some time to think about stuff but Its now been 37days since he left. I begged him for 8straight days and gives the same answer that he’s tired of me and i have to move on. I decided to leave the house 8days after our fight because i know to myself that he’s decided about all these and me begging and pleading so many times isnt gonna do any good but will just push him away even further. But why would he get my name tattooed in his arm 4days before the big fight? I know he loves me but everyone that i told my story to has been saying that there’s something bigger problem than my attitude.. there’s prolly 3rd party or stuff like that. im confused. He unfollow me on ig but still friends with fb. He seems to be moving on now with his life while i wanna isolate myself bcos i dont want him to see that im enjoying life without him. Im very hurt. Every single day im feeling like sh*t. I cant accept that fact that he’s never coming back. Im indenial. We we’re planning to get married on october but i guess its not happening anymore. Last time i texted him was 18days ago. He’s very cold like what i expected..called him 27 times no answer so i told him im not going to force him this time and just wanted to hear how he was. 2 hrs after he replied saying he’s fine. I brought up about our relationship he said he doesnt wanna think about that stuff right now he’s giving his 100% to his job because he just got it back so i said ok i understand, and since then i never bother him again. People be telling me to move on and they’re convinced that he’s never coming back but i dont know him like this. Before, he will just hug and kiss once i say sorry but i cant accept that this time is different. He wants me to change and i cant just do that. I mean if he really loves me he will accept who/how i am.. but i think he had enough of my bad attitude. And i take all the blame for what happened.I still love him though. Im feeling the same amount of pain everyday. Im trying my best to move forward but its just not that easy. I cant unlove him that easy. I still want him back so bad eventhough im so hurt. Please someone give me good advice. Thanks for reading.
Hello everyone. Ive been with my ex bf for 2.5yrs but we broke up for some reason i cant really tell. Here’s what happened, we’re both raised in thailand, someone in his family died so he had to go back to thailand for 2 weeks, he got very upset because of what happened. He was not even able to file for his leave at work in the right process.. When he came back here in US, i know he was still grieving so i just didnt care for the bad attitude hes showing, the next day after he got back we had a huge fight. I ask him to take me to work and he did. Before i get off the car i was asking for a kiss like what he will usually do before goin to work but he acted like he doesnt wanna give me one. So then before i clock in to work i message him on messenger saying that i f*cking hate his attitude i called him b*tch and i said he’s an *sshole for treating me this way and he knows that i cant go to work if hes acting that way and then i wished for him to die. And he just replied “im done with you, let’s go separate ways” so i realized it was my fault. I went too far for all ive said, i then said sorry right away and went back home 3hrs before my shift ends to just beg for him because i know it was something serious. I started crying and pleading. I know he’s problematic about his job too, he almost got fired because of abandoning the job for 2 weeks so i know thats one of the factors why he’s very mad. And then that day too he told our family that we’re done and never getting me back because im such a bad person. He’s acting like he doesnt know me for 2.5yrs. I dunno. I just feel like im dead . At first i thought he only needed some time to think about stuff but Its now been 37days since he left. I begged him for 8straight days and gives the same answer that he’s tired of me and i have to move on. I decided to leave the house 8days after our fight because i know to myself that he’s decided about all these and me begging and pleading so many times isnt gonna do any good but will just push him away even further. But why would he get my name tattooed in his arm 4days before the big fight? I know he loves me but everyone that i told my story to has been saying that there’s something bigger problem than my attitude.. there’s prolly 3rd party or stuff like that. im confused. He unfollow me on ig but still friends with fb. He seems to be moving on now with his life while i wanna isolate myself bcos i dont want him to see that im enjoying life without him. Im very hurt. Every single day im feeling like sh*t. I cant accept that fact that he’s never coming back. Im indenial. We we’re planning to get married on october but i guess its not happening anymore. Last time i texted him was 18days ago. He’s very cold like what i expected..called him 27 times no answer so i told him im not going to force him this time and just wanted to hear how he was. 2 hrs after he replied saying he’s fine. I brought up about our relationship he said he doesnt wanna think about that stuff right now he’s giving his 100% to his job because he just got it back so i said ok i understand, and since then i never bother him again. People be telling me to move on and they’re convinced that he’s never coming back but i dont know him like this. Before, he will just hug and kiss once i say sorry but i cant accept that this time is different. He wants me to change and i cant just do that. I mean if he really loves me he will accept who/how i am.. but i think he had enough of my bad attitude. And i take all the blame for what happened.I still love him though. Im feeling the same amount of pain everyday. Im trying my best to move forward but its just not that easy and i didnt see this coming. We were so much inlove to one another. I cant unlove him that easy. I still want him back so bad eventhough im so hurt. Please someone give me good advice. Thanks for reading.
I started dating this guy it was wonderful then his ex/best friend who he’s says they are just family and will never get with came in pic and now he’s acting different . He tells me I need to change which I do and if I change he might find me more attractive and give me another chance but couple days ago I started blowing up his phone like a idiot and he tell me to leave him alone and not talk him . He tells my mom and best friend he wants update on my progress of me changing but idk he does that to get them off his back . Just idk I should just leave him alone and never talk to him again or give him space and get the help I need and in couple months message him again !!!!
Hi Hailey,
Thank you for your share and I’m so sorry to hear about your current situation. I want you to spend some time specifically thinking about the changes he’s asking you to make. Are they feasible options for you? Don’t worry about the best friend at this stage. Rather, focus on whether or not the modifications he’s expecting are manageable. If you need help with this, I invite you to book a session with me. I can help.
Best,
Coach N.
Hi Amber,
Thank you for your share. I know it may sound counterintuitive, but I do believe that no contact can be beneficial for you. He’s so used to you reaching out, that really switching up outreach may really help show him that 1) you’re capable of change and 2) you’re able to control your emotions. If you need any help with how to go about this, I invite you to book a session with me. I’m here to help.
Best,
Coach n.
I started dating this girl year may 2016. We took things slow at first and then 1.5 months later we became really close. We enjoyed eachother’s company all the time. We grew together, overcame many obstacles and did so many things together. We barely argued or fought during that time. 2 months ago she started distancing herself. we barely speak and hang out. She eventually told me she wants a break. I didn’t do well with the break and we ended up getting into really bad fights. Shes not seeing anyone else because she just started a new job, and spends a lot of time with her sister who is pregnant. We don’t speak at all now and I can’t seem to stop thinking and caring about her. During our fights she complains that I’m a shell, and that I have no backbone. I’m always accommodating towards her because I want to make her happy. But i realized now that being too accommodating and nice can be bad. I really do love her and i miss her a lot. I wish to restart our relationship, hopefully build things better. I was thinking maybe implementing the reset button technique could help. I would use until her sister moving out and pregnancy is over as time to build myself up and better. But I am having a really hard time getting over the relationship. Please any advice and critique would be very helpful
Hi Rick,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how painful it can be when trying to understand your ex and try to get back together. I think taking a step away from her will be really advantageous for sure – it’ll show her you have the backbone and that you’re in control of your emotions. If you want a tailored gameplan to getting her back, I invite you to book a session with me. I can help 😉
Best,
Coach N.
Hi!
Me and my ex broke up 5 months ago. We used to live together. I was wondering if I still have a chance to get him back and if I can book a session with you, as I’m from Brazil (so don’t know if it’ll work for guys from here). Thanks!
Hi Anna!
Thank you for share. We are confident we can help. Please feel free to book a session by copying and pasting this link into your browser: http://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching
We are fortunate enough to have clients worldwide and look forward to connecting with you, too.
Wishing you the best!
Coach Natalie
How do I know if he will come back because we were only in a relationship for a few weeks and everything went very well and I got overly anxious and I sort of blew up his phone at first he got mad and I told him I was sorry and he forgave me but a few days later I started blowing up his phone again and he responded I just need some time I thought you und I needed some space but I guess not and I got the silence treatment so I gave him a call and said I should block you but I didn’t mean it and I didn’t do it but he got mad and blocked me and he puts all his Facebook stuff on privacy. I haven’t heard from h since. But I let a few days from the breakup and texted him and he read it but didn’t respond. So I haven’t heard anything from him since. By the way it was a long distance relationship? Is there any hope?
Hi Marcy,
Thank you for your share and I”m sorry to hear about your frustrating situation. I advise for you to spend time giving the relationship space. If it was just a few weeks, you should ideally be able to restart it. If you need any help strategizing on how to reach out, I invite you to book a session with me. I can help!
Wishing you the best always,
Coach N.
Hi Ron,
I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how frustrating and painful this all must be for you. I feel that you should take a look at our product on how to write the perfect letter. I think that if you’re able to communicate the accountability you take for the dismantling of the relationship, you should be able to open up some healthy dialogue. If you need assistance on how to write this, I invite you to also book a session with me. I can help.
Wishing you the best always,
Coach N.
Hello!
My boyfriend and I broke up 4 days ago. We’ve been dating for almost 4 months but we were very close and open to eachother. We were talking about doing business together, he mentioned several times what it will be like/ thing that we will be doing when we move together in our house, how we should build the house; that he will want children. I admit that my problem was that i put him on a pedestal and lost my self confidence, although he was the one that insissted in me giving him a chance to be together at first instance. He became a bit more distant, found excuses not to go out as often as before, gave likes to different girls on fb. On friday morning i found on a woman’s profile photos of her and my boyfriend. I sent him the photos, he first sent me a question mark, i told him I didn’t expect this from him so he called me. At the beginning he only said hi and asked how i was, then he said he started talking to his ex and got back to her and that he was going to tell me, and that this was the reason for not meeting me in the last few days. I told him he was with me out of interest and that it s easier to be with a low-level girl. He blocked me on fb. The thing is this woman is very very low class, as education and social status. She is pretty but rude, and sees several guys at the same time. Everybody know she sees in him a ticket to a better life (he being quite rich). She came between him and his ex girlfriend, but then they haven’t had a long relationship, they were together for a couple of weeks, then break up again for weeks. Now she knew he was in a serious relationship again, with me so she reached him again and knew how to take advantage of our problems. On saturday they went together to a party and he asked one of my friends to take a photo of herself and his new gf, of course his new gf posted it on fb and tagged my friend in it, so i would see it! From the moment he blocked me on fb, when we broke up, i started the no contact period.
What do you think? Will i get him back?
I have to mention that he was always talking to me about all the tiny details of day-to-day life, we would message eachother all day, even from work, he would ask for my advice, went together to doctors when he needed to do some investigations. He would also let me know of his fears, problems, hopes. And it was his first relationship when he was going shopping for groceries with me, we were even cooking together dinner for friends, everyone was telling me how different he was with me and how committed.
I m 28 and he is 24. We have similar financial positions, share common interests and ideas.
Thank you!
Hi Salma,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how painful it can be to feel rejected by someone we value so much, especially an ex. I think it’ll be important for you to give the relationship some space. If he and his ex broke up once before, there’s a chance it’ll happen again. If you’d like to learn ways to get back into the picture while maintaining that classic and powerful approach you’re looking for, I invite you to book a session with me. I can help you.
Best,
Coach N.
Hi Ariel,
Thank you for reaching out. I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. Is there a possibility that it could be him on her account, checking your social media?
Best,
Coach N.
Hi!
My ex gf and I were dating for 3 months then we broke up because I contacted my ex friend with benefits who was also my best friend. I hadn’t spoke to him in nearly 2 months and missed him, I told her later that day and she said we were over as I knew how that would hurt her. Within a week she started seeing a new girl and bragged how much more suited they were. They lasted 3 weeks before she messaged saying we should hook up, I told her no so she went back to this girl for another 2 weeks. We then met up once and she said we could take things slow because I really hurt her, after 2 weeks of not seeing her we fell out. Again she moved on with another girl within a few days but was massaging me as she said she wanted us to be friends. I told her I couldn’t do that anymore so we argued and she told me not to speak to her ever again. Fast forward another week, she receives some sad news so contacts me to let me know. I sent my apologies but told her I couldn’t be there for her so she said she’ll block my number but still hasn’t. I’ve not contacted her since this happened a couple of days ago and I’m planning on sticking to it for at least a month. So over a 6 month period the longest we’ve went without speaking is jst over a week. Do you think I should move on for good? She told me her new girl is the most amazing girl she’s met so I can’t see them splitting up.
Hi Lara,
I think you can fix this. However, don’t be afraid to give it time. Let your ex also see how crumby life is without you. Let her miss you. Ultimately, I wouldn’t worry too much on the new woman – remember, she said the last two were great too! It sounds to me like she’s just trying to distract herself from the heartbreak associated with the breakup. If you want a plan of action on how to get her back, I can help you. We have a high success rate in this area.
Wishing you the very best during this,
Coach N.
Hi
I feel lost, my heart is so cracked and my soul is lost. I have been in a situation that’s killing me slowly, my bf and I broke up in January we were in a long distance relationship. He and I had suffer a lot though this break up but he dicide to move forward, we meet in march again and it was painful, ever since I am not able to sleep, eat, or do Sth. A few days ago he told me that he meet someone that he is in a new relationship,that was a knock out for me. I panic so much I fear so horrible and now I know we won’t ever be together again, everything came to my mind and I feel that I lost my window opportunity. I did everything to make him run away, I had make all the possible mistake a human can do and even more during the relationship and after the break up, I have beg and humiliate myself. I want him to be happy but it kills me it’s not with me. He is so totally over me he is happy now, but I want to be with him….. I DONT KNOW WHAT DO! I love him so much he is the love of my life but I realized that too late
Hi coach Adrian, me and this guy dated each other only for a couple months, and he said he wanted to end it because I am moving from the country in a couple of months and he was scared of future pain and decided to end it earlier. We haven’t talked in a couple of weeks and one week after the break up he asked me to meet to speak properly but we didn’t manage to see each other because I was busy and he was on a vacation with some friends. Should I re initiate contact or wait for him to contact me? Thank you so much for help and support
Hi Chiara,
I think that, if you are leaving, it could be advantageous to meet prior to your departure. If you’re looking for great ways to connect with him, I invite you to book a session with Coach Adrian or myself. We can help you here.
Best,
Coach N.
Hi!
My ex girlfriend and I broke up about couple weeks ago. We were in a long distance because I am in school right now. I will be heading back home next week though and she has said she wanted to meet up because I asked but that was when I texted her last Wednesday. It has been 5 days that I haven’t been in contact with her or been on social media either. I haven’t heard from her at all but if I were to text her, I know she would text me. why is that? Her and I made many plans together on getting married for next year. I am confused a little but should I keep doing the no contact or reach out to her? last night her ex friended me on snapchat and I thought that was weird because it happened to be out of nowhere. why could that be ? but I didn’t except him. Will she realize soon that she miss’s me ? Because I am choosing to work on myself as well at this time and I have seen a change in myself I’m much happier and still counting to do what I’m doing. But I still wonder on my ex because I do love her and I do see a future together.
Thank You!
My ex and I broke up a little over a month ago. She told me she didn’t want a relationship because she had a lot going on right now and didn’t feel mature enough to be in one . She said she wasn’t sure about the future but said she wants to be just friends for right now . Her and I work together so it makes things tough. But she wasn’t only my girlfriend we where really good friends before we started dating. The day after we broke up I went out with friends and she was trying to find which bar. I went to after I said i was going to give her space. She would come into work on nights she didn’t work and got out of class late and came into work to get a drink and would try talking to me. And would ask how my night was . She always checks my Snapchat stories and will comment on them all the time as well. I want so close with her family they liked me . I was the first guy her dad has ever liked and also her sister thought I was cool. Her mom like me from the beginning . I haven’t hung out with her outside of work because she ran back to be Friends with benefits with another guy from work that she had a thing for before we started dating . She is throwing herself at him but her doesn’t like her like that. He’s just using her cause he knows she likes him. I’ve already thought to myself and had many people tell me is she worth it and I said yes . I’m not waiting on her to come crawling back I’m just letting whatever happen , happen. I’m just trying to not do anything stupid to risk maybe getting a chance later on down the line . Anyone have advice for me . I’m not head over heels for her she is just the exact type of girl I’m looking for and I don’t want what we had to look like it was a mistake ?
Hi Nick!
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about this frustrating situation. I know how tricky it can be try to figure out what’s going on. In order to assess, I’m going to need to more a bit more information. How long did you two date for?
Best,
Coach N.
Hi J,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. In order for me to really help, I’m going to need to know a bunch of details. I invite you to book a session with me. I can help. I wouldn’t worry much about the rebound at this stage, it seems like she’s just looking for a distraction from the pain.
All the best today and always,
Coach N.
About 4 months ago my wife of nearly 9 years left me after I revealed that I had lied to her about some serious life issues regarding our finances. It was a terrible, terrible mistake that I’m afraid neither of us will ever recover from. She immediately moved out and filed for divorce. For the first month or so we were communicating well and I felt quite confident that we would be able to at least have an amiable divorce and friendship, but as time is passing the opposite is happening and it is to the point now where she has completely cut off all contact with me, including email and blocking me from social media. She has refused to work with me even in situations that would have been of mutual benefit (taxes, caring for our dogs, breaking of our old lease). There is a mandatory 6 month waiting period in my state before the divorce is final that is fast approaching. We don’t really have any mutual friends and I don’t want to upset her by reaching out to family so there is really no way to know what is going on in each others lives. I am getting on with my life and am making improvements but I can’t help but feel like we never really gave it our best effort to try to make things work. I will always regret what has happened between us but I also don’t want either of us to wonder “what-if” for the rest of our lives and want to give it one more big effort before truly moving on. Will it only do harm at this point? I want to treat her with compassion and respect and would that be done by simply leaving her alone? I do believe that I can be the best man out there for her and we can live a happy, fulfilled life together. Should I wait until after the divorce is final to reach out? Longer?
My ex an i were together for 8 months, but we acted like we had been together for years. He had talked about marriage and a family only about 3 months in and seemed head-over-heels in love with me. He breaks up with me “out of the blue.” It felt that way to me, anyway. He didn’t give me a reason until about a week later when he explained that basically it was a sign from God that we weren’t supposed to be together. He literally felt that God was pulling him in another direction and he felt wrong being with me and at peace about his decision to break up. It was awful to hear that because at that point I thought there was nothing I would be able to do. I started to try to come up with my own reasons for why the break up really occurred because I wasn’t buying his reason. There is always more to the story than that.
We have been broken up for 2 months now. I did the worst possible things right after the break up. For the first whole month actually. I kept trying to stay in touch, begged him a couple times to get back with me and convince him why we should be together. Text book what not to do stuff. Then I found out about the no contact rule. So for the next month after all that, I kept contact to a minimum. But we saw each other at work and would end up talking there. I have just re-opened contact (sort of) but he isn’t responding very ideally. I think my situation is hopeless, but I honestly can’t tell. He acts really strange around me sometimes. I need serious help.
Hi Marissa,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how painful this can be. I believe I can help you turn this around, but in order for me to help, I’ll need to know everything. I invite you to book a session with me, I’d love to help you make a solid gameplan, because I have faith in your ability to fix this.
Best,
Coach N.
My ex and I were together for almost 4 1/2 years. We broke up because he felt like I didn’t love or want him anymore. He felt this way because I shut down emotionally and refused to communicate with him, I did this because I didn’t feel like I was important to him. I always felt like I wasn’t a priority to him and that other things came before me. No matter how many times I told him this nothing changed so I just shut down. For a long time I really felt like I didn’t love him anymore. When we broke up he started dating a “friend” of mine within 2 weeks. This of course upset me but I still hadn’t realized I was still very much in love with him. About a month later after no contact I realized the mistakes I made and that I was still in love with him and that I wanted him back. I had sent him and email telling him that I was sorry for the way I had made him feel but left out my feelings for him. About 5 days later I got an email back from him thanking me for realizing how I made him feel and that he hopes eventually we could be on speaking terms. I respobded by asking to meet with him so that I could get closure because I really felt like he had moved on but we never got a chance to talk about the breakup. When we met I ended uo telling him that I missed him, still loved him, and that I believed we could make it work. He told me he stilk loved me and missed me but that he was scared nothing would change. He had told me that he didn’t think his relationship would last much longer cuz he wasn’t happy cuz she yelled a lot. In the mean time he basically wanted me to wait on the sidelines. I told him i couldn’t just sit by knowing he loved me all while he was stilk sharibg a bed with her. 2 days later he told me he ended it with her and the next day we made love. Then I found out he lied to me about ending it with her and that he told her the truth about what went on that week. Meanwhile he was telling me he was confused and asked me to leave him alone to his thoughts. While i was giving him his space I found out he was still messaging her so I told him that he may not realize it but that he did make his choice and that I wasn’t going to be his second choice any longer since I was all throughout our relationship and that I was done. He responded that he hadn’t made a choice and that he had lost her too. He also said he was sorry for what he put me, us, and my kids through and that he really did love me. I told him I was sorry to and that I still wanted to be his friend. The truth is I still love him and would’ve still tried to make it work. I am so confused about his feelings for me! I am finding it really hard to let go of him and its hard to picture my life without him. Should I just move on or is there still hope for us?
Hi Melissa,
Thank you for reaching out. I understand that neglect can really affect a relationship – and it’ll be important for you to illustrate that you can fix this, as it’s the only way to turn this situation around. 4.5 years is a lot to throw away, I encourage you to do what you can and get going! If you need assistance, I can help you.
Wishing you the best always,
Coach N
My ex and I were each other’s first love. We dated for 4 years since A-level and it went long distance relationship as we furthered studies in different countries. I believed that was true love, we promised to get married and we had spent heaps of money to visit each other several times a year. Like any other couples in long term+distance relationship, we’re losing the sparkles. I told him I suspected he was seeing other girl, then he broke up with me saying he’s tired with all the arguments that we had. Thinking it was nearly all my faults, I spent a month begging for his forgiveness and he ignored me. I stopped doing so when I found out he started dating that random girl. I’m trying to get myself together and cut all contacts on social media for 5 months now. I know he is still with that girl, long distance too. I still love him and think he might be the one. I’m really curious if that’s a rebound relationship? What made him easily gave up on us? Whether he still loves me and just being an ego? Should I get him back? These thoughts haunt me everyday. When should I contact him back to clear this up? We’re still in distance, how to start the conversation on text? Thanks xx.
Hi Faz,
Thank you for reaching out. I’m sure that its a rebound – however, it’ll be important for you to determine why he began to wander off. It’s in this that you can start to get him back. If you need assistance here, I can help you. I invite you to book a session with me.
Wishing you the best always,
Coach N.
Hi there,
My ex and I were together for 2 years. We had a really messy breakup in Dec,
I became very clingy and needy
In jan he came back and said he wanted to try again. However neither one of us had healed. We came back into the same patterns and kept fighting. He pulled away again and broke it off in april. I feel I have wrecked any kind of chance with him.
I have written him a letter since then and reached out a few times. He was not responding at first, as I know he was angry. He has written me back the last few times. He says it’s not a good idea that we meet up.
I am trying to implement the no contact rule so I can heal.
Any advice on how long I should Be doing this?
I do love him and know he loves me, but I also know he needs his space and we both need to rebuild our lives.
My ex broke up with me when she went to study abroad because she said she was straight after all, and she couldn’t break up with me in my face. We dated for over a year. However, she is really scared to lose me in her life, so she wants to keep me as her friend. I agreed to after a while it even though it is destroying me, and plus it would be inconvenient not to be friends as we rent a house together and share furnitures and a car together. A month into the break up, she got a boyfriend, and then dumped him three weeks later. We had a short no contact when she was dating her new bf (because I couldn’t handle listening to her talk about it). I contacted her again after I got used to the idea, and then she broke up with her bf. She’s generally friendly to me. She texts me every day and tells me about her day and stuff. She sends me hearts and kisses and tells me she loves me.. (but insists we are only friends and she is completely over me). I usually just reply politely. Anyway, I don’t know what her deal is. I’m confused.
Hi Rysbow,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. In order to maximize your chances of getting her back, it’s going to be important for you to spend time reflecting on what dismantled the relationship. While she may be confused about her sexuality, that’s not the true distinguishing factor in my opinion. If you need help assessing this, I can help you. I invite you to book a session with me.
Wishing you the best,
Coach N.
How do I book a session with you?
Hi Rysbow,
In order to book a session, please visit this page: http://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching
I’m looking forward to connecting with you,
Coach N.
We were together for 3 years and it’s been a month since we broke up.
He said that he doesn’t want a relationship anymore and that he can’t put in anymore effort.
I was a clingy and controlling person.
I only started to change 3 weeks before we broke up.
Ever since we broke up, he’s been hanging out a lot with his friends.
He doesn’t contact me at all, I was the one who’s initiating contact.
Yesterday I was talking over the phone with him, he said that he’s just focusing on his career and future and that relationship is secondary to him.
He also told me that he won’t be finding any Girlfriend..
he thinks that he’s already moved on..
My ex and I broke up a month ago after a very tough year. I lost my father and job within a few weeks of each other in Feb 2016. I met my ex shortly after in April and we both fell head over heals for each other. It got to June and we had a major row over a pregnancy and from there the relationship started to spiral downwards. I became distant , started drinking and partying with friends and not including her in my life. Taking her for granted. I didn’t deal with my fathers death. Grief built up and I began to self loathe and be ashamed of myself and not show my lady that I was proud of her. I was but didn’t show it. She would ask me to go with her to meet her friends and I would say no, I had enough of people asking me what I do and felt ashamed of myself as I had no job and she was a lawyer. Felt i wasn’t good enough. Anyway this carried on for several months until one day we went out together on a boat trip and a previous ex happened to be sitting opposite me. I hated this lady because she had finished with me just after my dad died. I felt I was on trial as she had some insecurities and I thought she was testing me with this and asked her and then behaved childishly which she took that I still loved the previous ex. Not true. Well we got past it and reconciled and I continued drinking without her and meeting friends and just drinking to numb my pain, still had no job. she broke her ankle at Christmas and I went out one day and said I’d be back at 6, I got home at 1130 happy drunk. She then had a serious health scare, was in hospital for 10 days I looked after her daughter and I woke up. I realised what I had. I stopped drinking and started paying more attention but her life started to deteriorate. Work became an issue, stress of finding a new job possibly, which meant a new school for her daughter, who I adore, she had to study for her masters, her health issues and then there was me, still no job but I was there to help. She asked for space so I gave it to her and I kept in touch and took her daughter out a few times. Then early April we hit the really rough patch, she was becoming distant and the intimacy felt like it was going, didn’t feel the same. Then one day she drives over to see me can’t get into the car park and calls me and drives off to which I’m annoyed. Later we text and she says hope to see you tomorrow, I react and say you could of seen me today. She then says I don’t know what you want from me and I go all serious and get frustrated as in, are you kidding me, I want the 3 of us to be a family. Anyway later she replies and says she has had enough of guilt tripping and my behaviour, wishes me all the best says she’s not my mommy , sorry for my misfortune and that we are not attached anymore.
Well I get angry and send her a voice message saying I’ve had enough of being a punch bag and go into detail, though I love her and am very upset with her. We don’t speak for a week. Her daughter tries to call me and I say I need to sort myself out and will be in touch soon. I send her a message at the weekend to see if I can visit and she wants to know why, tell her because I love her and want to fight for her. She replies the next day in text she’s turned off, it turns her off when I drink, believes it’s an important thing for me, makes her lose desire, the boat incident killed most of it and then I drank all night when she broke her ankle, she cares for me but has lost interest.
Well this shocks me, I immediately stop drinking and focusing on everything that has happened the past 10 months. A pattern of selfishness, taking her for granted, being ashamed of myself and not proud of myself, I haven’t dealt with my fathers death and in a state of denial and pretty much I’m at my lowest point in confidence and self esteem.
I analyse everything for the next couple of days and call the ex on the phone. She goes through the whole relationship and so do I. Drink is a major key issue and I acknowledge everything that I have done to her and how I have hurt her. I end the conversation telling her I love her and to give me a chance to show and prove to her that I am not the person she thinks I am. No reply from her.
A week goes by and I’m improving, had some counselling on grief and they suggest to acknowledge to those you have hurt in regards to this , so I send her and her daughter a voice message to that end about being a closed book and not letting her in to help me. She asks if I’m alright I say yes and she’s glad. 12 hours later she gets in touch and asks if I was drunk when I recorded the message, I wasn’t and reply that and that I am doing my best to fix myself.
That was May 1st, so I read up about NC and head down that route and continue fixing myself Physically and mentally, see a doctor and feel a lot more positive have acknowledged my fathers death.
Then yesterday I go out to lunch and a friend tells me she is there, I don’t go and look for her and just act cool and have a good afternoon. I’m remaining string and then a female friend who has had past experiences with an alcoholic husband suggests I contact her, I’m feeling I don’t want to do this but she talks me into writing to her. I ask how she is, how her daughter is and how I am in a better place, both mentally and physically, been sober for 27 days, tell her I owe her a lot of the change to her for the words she wrote to me and I know I needed to hear it. I turned things around and made a promise to myself to change. Missing her and her daughter and that they have been a major part of my change and that my feelings for her are now even clearer. Thank her for her support when I was in dark place after the loss of my father. Say I’m not 100% yet but I am seriously working on being a man she and her daughter deserve. The woman thinks it’s a great message and says don’t be scared send it and I feel I shouldn’t but hit the button.
2 hours pass and I get a reply
I know you have been trying hard. Congratulations for this… but you need to keep doing this for yourself and not for us two. I am honoured that you are doing it for us but you need to do it for yourself.
What we had was good whilst it lasted but it’s time to move on. I am moving on and want to make sure you are in a good place…. but you need to do it for yourself going forward. You will always be special to us both and I am glad I was able to help. And I wish you all the best.
I love this woman dearly and her child to, so much so that I thought we would be a family in the future and be married.
Any way of bringing her back, getting her back?
Should I make anymore contact as i am now seriously thinking of leaving and heading back to the UK?
So my ex of 22 years started dating after two weeks, took her on holiday after 10 weeks ,oh and moved in with her after 7 weeks…that’s some going for sure. I can only assume he was cheating with her before hand…and I think it was around a couple of months before but can’t be sure……I’ve maintained NC,( unless discussing our child) worked on myself, got a job,and have more good days than bad. He however can’t stop asking my friends husbands about me..when I go out, who I go out with, who I’m dating, IF I’m dating. He asks our child when he picks him up, wether I have a BF, if I’m happy….it’s never ending. Oh and he’s desperate for him to meet his new gf….and all this bullshit within three months. My ex hasn’t made any effort with his appearance, other than new clothes which he had to buy, because I gave him a time limit to pick his things up….yep I binned the lot…he had his chance. His weight has always been a problem, me begging him to think of his health ( part of the reason I fell out of love with him….he simply couldn’t be bothered) well. HIs weight has increased…this worries our son, because obesity is a real killer….I’d love for him to take care of himself …if not for his son. He’s got his sister to snoop my fB page,trying to find out if I’m interacting with any male….he’s tried taking my car, smashing my phone when he thought I was with someone…..it’s tiring! The worst thing is I just cannot communicate with him, don’t want to…the upset he has caused to our son has me so angered,I’m afraid what I might say…so I don’t say anything…..what is up with this man,who I simply don’t know any more….I miss our chats,but at this moment in time, I can do without them…should I feeling so disconnected, so annoyed at his behaviour? Or do I simply leave him to get on with it?
My ex ended things at New Year but we have been in regular contact since as we work together. I did no contact outside of work, we eventually met up but avoided discussing too much about us. I didn’t feel like it was moving on too much but I tried to stay patient. Then in April we went out for my birthday and we discussed our relationship a little and what we would have done differently. At the end of the night he held me like I have never been held before and he got very emotional. He text and called a bit over the next couple of days, we met a couple of times after this and we were getting on brilliantly. I then found out he had been seeing a girl (but only meeting up, nothing ‘happening’), and I found this out from her friend (I think she was fishing for info). It turned out that after our night out he called the girl and told her nothing would happen between them as he had feelings for me. The friend was saying that they were expecting him to say we were back together. I told her we were not but I wouldn’t discuss him with her/them.
I then left it a few days then let him know I knew about her. He explained he felt he had to move on but holding me meant so much he couldn’t be with her and he still had feelings for me (first time he had said that since we split up). I asked if he had considered our relationship worth saving, he said ‘of course’ but didn’t say if he had been thinking it recently and I didn’t ask. The other girl went round to his that day and, again, he said he would prefer to just be friends with her and she agreed.
He called me the next morning to tell me this and then we spoke for 3 hours about everything else except us. Since then, we have been back at work, still getting on very well, and when I would keep my distance he would make excuses to come near me and show me something. But we haven’t spoken outside of work since.
I am so confused.
Hi Saz,
It sounds to me like this is going well! Continue doing what you’re doing – and remember, don’t focus too much on the old relationship you two had. Focus rather on developing a new one. Try doing something new together! Build a new memory.
Best,
Coach N.
Thanks. I am doing what I can to convince him that we were worth it but I’m not sure that he sees it like that. I know I could get a bit snappy when we were together so I try to keep as calm as possible when we discuss things. Everyone at work thought we had got back together but it’s just because we get on so well. I don’t know if he’s interested in being with me at all, but I can’t convince myself that he is.
There was a long time where I felt a lot happier in myself, but not actually happy without him. I still have made no contact with him outside of work. He hasn’t really contacted me, but he sent me a photo of a kitten at 8.30am and when he came to work 4 hours later, the first thing he did was check I had received it because I hadn’t replied. But I feel he’s actively avoiding me.
Hi Saz,
Thank you for this info. I feel I can help. I invite you to book a session with me.
Best,
Coach N
This is going to sound really awful, but my ex and I broke up almost 4 years ago. We tried the whole “friendship” but it always turned into benefits, until the last 5 months and I cut it off. He’s been having the best of both worlds it seems, telling me his feelings of wanting to be in a relationship and that he loves me yet he HAS to be there for his children (11,12,15), so he’s living with his children and his ex wife. In the last 4 years, he’s given me the silent treatment up to 2 months at a time, I’ve helped him and motivated him, he’s broken promise after promise, talking/texting/seeing each other on his time and never on my time, and many other things. I feel that he’s playing games, but it could also be that he really does have to take care of his children. I told him over a week ago (after yet again another 2 months of him not speaking to me) that I need a break after all the emotions, the broken promises, him in and out of my life, and doing whatever on his time only. I also placed the blame on my feelings towards him, because somehow, he always blames me (as he said this wasn’t him not stopping contact this time). I’ve ALWAYS done something nice for his birthday and father’s day. (Meant to add this: he did wish me a happy birthday, but the day after he stopped talking to me and he did wish me a happy mother’s day (he is not the father of my child) yet it was just the week before he broke an important promise to me). He does everything with his ex wife, yet tells me, the complete opposite. He says that he hates the things he does and doesn’t want to lose me, but I can’t keep dealing with knowing the ex wife gets all the attention, love, support, and dedication. (She HATES me.)
Do I wish him a happy birthday, happy father’s day? Is the hope all lost in this situation? He usually reaches out to me (with his no contact) after 2 months only. I have a hard time with his guilt trips and blame games that I contact back.
My ex texted me that my behavior and that I am mean to him he also overheard a message about me speaking about him and he told me he selects not to be in that type of environment. He thinks I spoke about him negitvely to my family I have not. Together for several years on and off. He texted me Happy Mother’s Day but since then nothing. I didn’t know about the no text rule and have texed him constantly. I was sick in the hospital he was there everday. I really am in love with him.He hasn’t blocked me but still won’t respond to my calls or text messages. Should I do the no contact or is this relationship over
So my ex and I broke up about 2 months ago, but during the duration of that break up, we had no contact for about a week and half until she saw that I was going to visit some friends in the town that she was currently in. She then decided to stay with me for that weekend, and ever since that weekend, we started to talk and meet up and things of that nature, she says it was basically like we are together, but without the title. So I played along with it and during the duration of those two months, we continued to say we love each other, we facetimed, texted, call, etc. & she even said she had dreams of us engaged. So I felt like there was a possibility of us getting back together so I continued to talk to her and what not but she would still ask me from time to time if I still loved her and wanted to talk to her, of course I said I would and if I didn’t love her, I wouldn’t be talking to her at the moment. So time went on and just recently “I” felt like she didn’t want to talk to me anymore or whatever so I asked her, she then got all defensive and saying she didn’t want to be rude but that we broke up and things we had been doing were a little blurred by the fact that we continued talking after the break up, and she continued on by saying that we should stop talking and not to text back , but she would always love me, n that she wanted me and herself to find ourselves. I just wanted to know what happened all of a sudden that changed her whole point of view, but she said to not reply to her message so I didn’t. Basically I got no closure, so what should I do?
Hi Antonio,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your frustration. You’re in such an emotionally taxing spot! I really empathize. I do feel, though, that the only way for you to turn this around is to really take a step back from the relationship. Let her miss you. You have no idea how much good this can do. I invite you to book a session with me so I can share with you how to go about rekindling with her. I am confident I can help.
Wishing you the best,
Coach N.
Me and my ex gf were together for 18 months. The reason she broke up was that I was not giving her enough time and she thinks we didn’t have much bond. But as she suddenly became short tempered and in every matter she started overreacting like mad. Since few month I was keeping myself a bit away from her so that we dont get into any fight but we used to talk everyday not much as exams were going on. Rather than understanding my reason she just thought other things and brokeup and suddenly seems very happy as if I never meant anything to her.
Hi Tushar,
I’m sorry to hear about your current situation – thank you for sharing it with me. I feel like some more time may be a good idea for you. I know it seems frustrating right now, but I feel like it will make all the difference in the long run. Let her realize how much impact you’ve had on her life.
Best,
Coach N
We both exchanged many harsh words to eachother after breakup. And it’s been 30 days since we talked! I am on no contact.
Me and my gf broke up after 2 years together, she said she isn’t happy and doesn’t want a relationship at the moment..we previously had a break for about 2-3 weeks then after that things were good..we have a 4 month old daughter together but living separately unfortunately..we also haven’t had sex for almost a year…Any help???
Darren
Hi Darren,
Thank you for your share. She may just need some space from the relationship. Since you have a daughter, she really isn’t going to go too far. If you let her miss you a bit, I feel it will yield a more positive outcome when compared to reaching out. Let her breathe.
Best,
Coach N
This is a difficult situation… My ex and I were together for 3 years and broke up last Year in march. After the breakup, we still saw each other pretty often and it was like we were still together. Then, she moved to another state (800 miles away). The distance was and still is really hard, but we still talked often and I even went to visit her last summer. That was the last time we saw each other. A month or so went by and I found out that she had been seeing other people, and I was hurt by that and sent some pretty nasty messages. A few weeks later we started talking again, but things were different. I could tell something was off. Then, one day she just stopped talking to me. One minute it was “I still love you” and the next I didn’t exist. A few weeks went by and I got suspicious. Did some creeping online and found out that she had a new boyfriend. I was devestated because of how in love with her I was (still am, but it’s gotten a tad easier with time). Now, we haven’t spoken in 9 months, she’s still 800 miles away, and I constantly find myself thinking about her. I’ve tried being with other girls, I even dated one for a few months, but it just wasn’t the same. I couldn’t date someone and be in love with her at the same time. In my eyes, I figure that the best thing I can do for her, the girl I love to the moon and back, is to leave her alone. She seems really happy and I know that re entering her life will only complicate things. It’s one of the hardest realizations ive ever had to face, but I still don’t know what to do. She’s always on my mind and I can’t stop every other woman I’m with to her. The subtle reminders are tearing me up inside. It’s got to be a little bit easier to move on when you have a whole new life in a different state, right? I’m pretty sure that she’s moved on for good but I can’t stop fantasizing about her reaching out to me. A text… a call… something… The silence is eating me up inside. I feel like I’ll never see her again and that makes me extremely depressed. I just want her to be happy… but I also want to be with her. We were best friends and now it’s like we’re strangers. It really sucks… I miss her so much. What on earth should I do? Do I break the silence and face more rejection? Do I leave her alone and wait for the day she finally reaches out? Do I try my best to move on, like she presumably has… Like how can you be in love with me and then start another relationship? Just cut me out of your life like it’s nothing… I just wish I had some concrete answers so that I could at least move on. Does anybody have any advice? :/
Hi Jeff,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how frustrating this can be, especially when you’re wondering if she has in fact moved on. In order for me to help, though, there are a few unique pieces of into I’d like to tap into. I do feel, however, based on what you’ve shared, that theres a great opportunity to get her back. I invite you to book a session with me.
Best,
Coach N.
When I first met him the early part of last year he walked into my store he had nothing on but a basic pair of jeans and a T-shirt he was there to fix our A/C I thought he was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen and I told him that straight to his face I knew nothing about him what he had how he worked nothing We became friends before we became involved he was going threw a separation and was having quite a hard time with it I knew how it felt and honestly I was just a listening friend no feelings involved we went on a date a month after meeting and we had the most wonderful time even though most of the conversation was about his wife and how she hurt him but it didn’t bother me I still enjoyed myself I have to mention that he is white and I am black I will explain why I state that in a min so at the end of our date he kissed me not just once 3 times but it was the most beautiful kiss I had felt since I was a teenager you know the kind that leaves a lasting impression I was completely taking by him and he was too then we talked for about a week but he disappeared on me I left him alone and didn’t bother him then I was on my way to work and I saw him pulled up right next to him he seemed upset arguing with his wife the next day I contacted him we talked for bit then that was it then last year on my birthday October 5th he called me out of the blue crazy thing I was thinking of him and the only thing I wanted was a kiss from him I met him at the bar he was at when I got off of work he had a really bad fight with his wife a physical one he didn’t hurt her but she hurt him we talked and I calmed him down and we ended the evening with a kiss the one I wanted again we talked for a couple days then nothing then all of sudden he came into my job again and we started talking again still I never let on my feelings he really was dead set against getting emotional involved and I was too we continued our friendship we talked everyday several times a day and became very close November of last year we finally made love for the first time I say that because it was unlike anything I had ever felt before and it showed that he felt that way too when his wife moved out of their house and moved in with her new boyfriend that she was cheating on him with he brought me to his house the first woman ever in his home or in his bed no less cause he was truly the faithful kind of man and very loyal and when I say he was crazi for his wife he really was but she just didn’t want him anymore anyway we spent quite a lot of time together then his wife house burned down around the holidays and she had to move back in we still talked but I didn’t see him as much he was trying to make things work I guess but then his wife moved out again and we became very close even our children interacted very well together we could talk about anything and he would tell me that I was his best friend the only person he would talk to because he couldn’t go to his other friend about what he was dealing with this went on for about 3 months one evening when I was at his house with my kids and he said he wanted to ask me something he said I am not ready now but when I am do you want to be my girlfriend I said yes he even offered me a key to his house when he changed the locks trusted me alone with his daughter which he would never leave her with anyone accept family let me drive his car one of his prize possession I might add and even left me in his home by myself which is not something he did so when he asked me about a commitment I completely understood that this meant being patient because he was still healing and I knew he was not completely over his wife not to mention not yet divorced I didn’t want to start a relationship off like that so I thought that I was doing the right thing then 2 weeks after that he took it back said he wasn’t ready and he wanted to be completely honest I asked if I wasting my time but he never truly answered me now backing up a bit he told me he had told his wife about us I felt like he did it as one last attempt to get her back but he swore that was not it then he told me that he told her she could call me I completely lost it told him we shouldn’t talk anymore and that made him very upset he went to hell and high water to talk to me now up to that point what ever feelings I had I never revealed but while we we’re talking I told him I like you and he said oh you just like me I said no I have feelings for you but you will never be mine so what does it matter he didn’t say anything so moving on he started to reveal his feelings telling me he loved me and all that good stuff which drew me in and I started falling for him because I thought he wanted the same things that I did which is what he told me we didn’t go out much but we would go to dinner a bar now then but mostly we would have one on one time from a early dinner on to a movie and just relax and chill hang with our kids together BBQ we would go and pick furniture for his house because she took everything he valued my opinion because anything he did he would call me or text me with pictures down to the clothes he would buy and I knew how to shop for him I am a home body and thats what he said he was too he also alternated weeks with his daughter so it was cool with me to stay in I never came between him and his friends cause guys have to have their time but he did introduce me to his closest one and the mother of his oldest daughters now here is the part that gets me one weekend I spent the evening with him on a Friday I left his house about 9 in the morning well we talk everyday but this day I didn’t hear nothing from him and he ignored my text now if I didn’t answer my phone or missed a call or text he would say you not talking to me today so I said the same thing no reply I went over his house the next day and he had had a party of some sort now it didn’t bother me as much that he didn’t invite me but more so that he didn’t speak to me all day and then he acted like it was no big deal so of course I was upset and I left his house early that night after we watched a movie he didn’t like that but I didn’t care so we talked about it the next night and that was it that is how I am when I get upset deal with it and move on so moving forward when he took back his offer of commitment I felt something was not right then but we had decided to plan a vacation together which we just went on 3 weeks ago it was wonderful and we had the most beautiful time together we took some amazing pictures it was great prior to this I started to get the feeling he was ashamed of me hence why I pointed out that he was white and I was black I didn’t care about the color of his skin I took him and his kids to a birthday party that a friend of mine was having nothing but black people but I didn’t care. He made me feel good and my friends knew how I felt for him the next day he had another birthday to go to with his older daughters family but he didn’t invite me to come along anyway as I stated we took lots of pictures and met some new friends on the cruise that we took so they posted pictures and tagged us both in them well he blocked them from being seen by anyone on his page it hurt my feeling but I didn’t say anything because he had said once before when his wife changed her status and had picture of her and her new boyfriend that he would never do something like that knowing that he was still married even though they are not together and she has clearly moved on so I just took it at face value but when we returned from vacation he stopped talking to me maybe a text here and there but we would talk every morning on his way to work after lunch when he got home and then we would have the evening together if I didn’t have to work this was our routine I mean you can’t just defer from that and think that it’s ok or that the other person is not going to feel some kind of a way now the spoty contact has been going on for 3 weeks well I texted him told him how I felt of course I got no reply which I did not expect too but that was my closure cause I just felt that he didn’t want to see me anymore well he had to come and do some work in my store when he came in my back was turn and I was talking to someone they spoke to him and when I turned around I immediately turn back around and started talking again to my friend she said he stood there waiting for me to say something to him which I didn’t crazy thing I was mad because it had been 2 days since I told him how I felt and had not heard anything from him but when I saw him that strong stance all went away he went out of his way to speak to me I was cordial then later that evening I called him we talked but only about good stuff like the cruise and things like that he said he would call me back I waited and texted him no reply so the weekend of the 21 I was on my Facebook and at the top I noticed he changed his profile picture well it was a picture of him and a white woman of course I was livid I mean I couldn’t believe it and I didn’t know what to think or do so I left it alone all day went out with my home girl that night didn’t have a really good time didn’t like her choice in music we were a little on the intoxicated side and she played a joke on me told me there goes so and so and like a crazy person I looked I got so mad that I message him on Facebook at 113am something I never did called him out his name told him he could have told me that he didn’t want to be with me because of the color of my skin told him just how the whole thing made me feel it hurt like a knife going threw my heart because he wanted me to show my feelings and when I did oh it was just to much now I believe it was a transference of pain from him to me he called me the next day I didn’t answer I called back a couple hours later I believe he did want to talk and tell me what was going on but I was at work and so he told me to call when I got off I did but he did not answer later that night I asked if he changed his mind about speaking to me he told me that he got tied up at work and he was just getting home I said ok and left it at that he didn’t call me the next day but called me the day after we shot the breeze but then he wanted to start talking about his issues with his wife I told him I had to go I didn’t want to hear about her and as far as I was concerned he didn’t have me for that anymore we didn’t speak the next day but the day after I texted him told him I know we are not speaking and that’s cool and I really meant that but I wanted to tell him that I got the job I had been after when you are used to telling that special person everything it does not change just because something happens he is still the person I want to talk to the most well he replyed I will never stop talking to u I will call in a min congratulations he called 2 hours later we talked for 4 mins he said his boss was calling and that he would call me back he never did and I didn’t call him the next day he text me it was my son graduation we spoke via text and that was it the next day which was this past Saturday he called me we talked for a while he said he was calling cause he had told me that he was going to call me back but didn’t I said u have been doing a lot of that lately he said he wanted to finish the convo we were having I said so you are ready to talk about what happen he said he didn’t know what I was speaking of it was hard to talk because I was at work and of course he said he would call back and I have not spoke to him since he put a new picture of him and his daughter and I assume his new flame and he took down what he posted on his birthday what I had gotten for him I had put quite a but of thought in to it and he said he felt so special which is all I wanted to do we didn’t have any issues with each other and if we did we knew how to calm eachother down I don’t understand how u walk away from someone who gave u the best part of them for no other reason then because of there race he treated me with much respect love care even my children but I guess he never saw himself in a relationship with me I just wish he had been honest about his intentions I mean if u are ashamed why take pictures not to mention he spent a $150 on these on the cruise ship payed for my expenses while we were on vacation he did a lot how do u go from talking seeing what ever to absolutely nothing when he was going threw his problems I was there for him every step but he leaves me to my own dismiss and feeling to sort threw it on my own I was single for 2 years before I even decided to get a involved with anyone I thought I was being careful I guess not I know this to shall pass but at the same time u don’t give up with out really giving it a chance I miss what we we’re to each other how we helped each other how we made each other feel and how we build each other up I wonder does he miss me at all from the looks of it, it doesn’t seem like it I had never had a friendship before getting into a relationship so I lost my best friend and my love and I’m just trying to get threw it I know I just wrote a book but I swear it has made me feel so much better and any advice u can give to help me deal with this I am truly appreciative
My ex and I were in a relationship for 2 years. Very little problems, we’ve been broken up for 5 months unfortunately I can’t tell you why we broke up she never really told me. Its gone from her working on herself to her just not loving me anymore and being unhappy. It also changed into me being mentally abusive which I never was. Since then she’s told me how she loves me and misses me. Shes treated me horribly, but recently I emailed her and she emailed me back and she said she does miss me and she will always love me and I will always have a special place in her heart which sounds like a goodbye letter to me so I just wanted to know what you think about that. She said shes still depressed over everything but by her actions I strongly doubt it.
Hi Jen,
Thank you for your share. I invite you to showcase how confident you are – pick up new activities that can illustrate your excitement for living and adventuring. This is a very attractive thing for an ex to see and it can often make them wonder whether or not the end was a good idea. If you need help with specifics as to what to do and say, I can help you and I invite you to book a session with me.
Wishing you the best on your journey!
Coach N.
My current ex and I live together we’ve been together a short amount of time, I have a baby with someone else, I was with my sons father for years 4 years I left after realizing we would never work out and I jumped quickly into a new relationship my current one we dated 5 months then moved in together, those 5 months were rough when I met him I was going through depression being a new mom and just leaving a relationship I was confused, very confused, so I would still reach out to my sons father and even ended up sleeping with him once(we didn’t go all the way, we were about to have sex he went inside once and then I pushed him off and began to cry that I no longer love him that I’m with someone else whom I love) and although it wasn’t fully sex the fact I did it or let it get to that point and the part my current ex hated the most was the lengths I went to lie to him about it so he wouldn’t find out. He forgave me though and we started over but his insecurities were so crazy everyday he’d need to check my phone and I don’t blame him but from there we moved in together, and at first things were okay but then we started fighting allot over dumb things and instead of me putting my pride aside I would pack my things and threaten him to leave he would always chase me, but then it became more frequent, 3 months in and the arguing now continues everyday me always leaving and he’s tiered of it he told me he’s completely done and I believe him. At first he’s been like telling me he’s done but would still try to be around me now he completely rather stay out than be next to me, it so happens my mom is going on vacation for two weeks tomorrow I told him let’s be apart those two weeks I’ll stay at her house and not contact him at all. He doesn’t want to he wants to completely end it but although he tells me a million times he’s done little things still give me hope.
Hello! I don’t know if I have a chance😔 I met this person at a seminar he was the speaker and He gave me an hour appt free after that he called me to check on me and then every day we talk for hours and texts and each time he was traveling he called me from the airport. At night it was a lot.. well he came 2 mins later we so each other. Then I told him that I want to see him and He s assad it wasn’t a good idea because it was to much temptation and said no that was December so i said I want to see him . Well I stop and later a month later he ask me if I wanted to go for my birthday to visit and see the city etc… I said yes. So we said no intimacy he told me that it could take away the way he was feeling for me that he knows that. I went and we tried we ended doing it and after he told me that he is not ready for a relationship. A I got hurt and ask if that was because we were to gather he said in part. I ask if he ever felt something for me his answer was in the beginning. But he wants me to be his friend and He cares about me and etc.. I said no I don’t friends with someone that I love and have intimacy and bye. He told I was joking I believe he was trying to be friends with benefits. But I love him it was a long distance relationship.. I saw him when I met him , talk every day up to 4 times texts etc.. and saw him on my birthday 5 days then 2mons layers 2 more days then .. was over. A relation of August 24 2016 to May 11 2017. Do I have a chance. What I can do . If I told him not his friend. I said I want you whole or nothing😐 .. haven’t call me since May 11. Help. Please
Hi Karina,
Thank you for your share. It seems to me like some space. I know it’s already been a couple weeks – but keep going. Let him really miss you and then you’ll be in better standing to reconnect. If you need help, please feel free to let me know. I’d love to work with you.
Best,
Coach N.
What do you think bout the sex part? Plus and me saying all or nothing?
Hi Karina!
I invite you to book a session with me and we can discuss everything.
Wishing you the best,
Coach N.
Was together for a year and a half, he dumped me about a week and a half ago. No contact since the day of the break up. He said he wasnt ready for the commitment and felt that i was holding him back from doing the things he wanted to do. He also said he didnt like that i’m jealous and feels that i dont trust him and therefore will hold him back from doing things he wants. He also told me hes not certain he would want a future with me and that his feelings for me have always been less intense than mine for him. Do i have a chance? Should I even try? We had an amazing connection and were friends for 5 years before the relationship became romantic. I got along very well with his family and friends and I still love him very much, just dont understand why he gave up so quickly.
Hi,
I was in a same sex relationship. My girlfriend of 3yrs broke up with me a week ago, but we still live together. We have a 2bdrm, but still sleep in the same bed, we cuddle, and it reminds me how much I miss her touch, but she tells me not to confuse it with her wanting to get back to me. She still walks around naked in front of me! We talk about sex, and had sex a few times in the last week. But she doesn’t kiss me, because it’s too intimate. So, I decided to pull out the air mattress and give us some space. She told me that she plans to move out at the end of August, but I want her to stay, desperately. I’ve pleaded with her to stay with me, but she says that she wants to be single, and feels like I’m holding her back from the life she wants. We’ve had the same problems for the better part of two years: not enough sex, mismanagement of money, miscommunication amongst other things. She blames me for most of our issues, admits that resents me sometimes, and told me she doesn’t think I would ever change. We’ve broken up briefly in the past, a few times, but the same problem kept creeping up. To get us back on track, I moved out for one month last year, and this year, we went to couples therapy three times. We always talked about how much progress we were making, but then she abruptly told me that she’s tired of trying and just wants an easier relationship. So, we no longer go to therapy. I want to be with her badly, but I know that I also have to make some personal changes. When I asked her if she wants us to work out, she said “that would be nice”. But tells me that she views me as a friend now. When we were together, she hardly went out partying. Now that we split, she’s out drinking most weekends, comes home at ungodly hours and I wonder who she’s with, and what she’s doing. …and it’s tearing me up inside. I know that if I show really change, she will want me again, but I don’t know what to do…help!!!!!!
Hi Renae,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. It seems to me like giving her space may be a great idea. Let her realize what life will be like without you. Let her see that you’re able to control your emotions. If you need tips on how to turn this around, I can really help you. I invite you to book a session with me.
Best,
Coach N
Thanks Natalie for getting back so fast. So, I volunteeringly slept on the couch last night. Today, she had a hangover and I helped bring her back to life. Today she also asked if we could cuddle and watch a TV show. So confused! Should I still give her space?
Hello! Me and my girlfriend broke up two months ago,she dumped me because she said she was not happy anymore. I’am trying my best to do the no contact. 2, 3, 4 days of no contact and I think I can do this for a month then but suddenly she will start to communicate, she would call me and I would answer to avoid appearing that I ignore her. Now I am back to square one again. Its been like this for the last two months. Sometimes she would send me photos of her or things thats going on with her out of the blue. Im really confused about her motive on why she is doing this. Should I let her know that I’m in NC? Does she want me back? Hope you can help me
Im in the same exact thing with my ex! She wont allow too much time to go by and shes reaching out! Most I got was ten days! Then one week after that. Its always a few days and she texts me about random stuff. She says we shouldnt talk but then reaches out again. It always leads to conversation that I try to cut short and leave her with the last text and not respond to her. Have you had any luck getting her back at this point??
Hi Joe,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. It seems to me like, by not completely implementing no contact, that she’s had the ability to begin weaning off of you. It’ll be important for you to take a step back now. If you need assistance with a game plan, I can help you. I invite you to book a session with me so we can turn it around quickly.
Best,
Coach N.
Hi I was in a two year relationship with this girl and we did everything together and enjoyed lots of things together. She started getting distant after we had to get back to focusing on our jobs. She said later how she wasnt happy. I was getting complacient and we ended up breaking up a few months later. Shes now hanging out with some guy from work but still keeps in contact with me. Its been three months and she claims shes not dating anyone and shes single. She wont take down any of our pictures on facebook and says shes not ready to loose me for good. The most i did was ten days no contact before she contacted me upset that my family unfriended her on FB. I asked what she wanted me to do with her things and asked where i could leave them. She wanted to meet up i told her i didnt know if i wanted to see her but she said “i want to see you” so we did. She hugged and kissed me and this has happened several times weve met in the last couple months. She will tell me to kiss her cheek and i say “I aint kissin your cheek” so she then makes out with me. Se has several times sent me screen shots of things she posted on snapchat a year to the date about our memories. She always trys to let me in on the fun shes having. Like last week she told me she bought a kyack and was going kyacking. Her birthday was the 2nd and i had already told her to have a good birthday days ago. I didnt contact her on her birthday and that night she said she was surprised I didnt. I always let her be the one who reaches out and she does every few days. We always have a little talk and I just leave it at that. I dont know what to do.. If she doesnt want me then I want to move on but she stays in contact. She has this “guy friend” that goes to her house often. I just hope he becomes needy in her eyes.. hes very very different than me wich i find weird.. She swears shes not dating him and he also has just gotten out of a broken relationship with a really pretty woman he was engaged to. Its like they are sharing their heartbreaks together or something. My frinds seen them together at walmart but yet she comes to church and sits with me. Then follows me to my truck afterwards and we kiss and hug! Its so weird.. why cant she make up her mind!!??
My ex and I were together for just shy of five years. We lived in an apartment and recently bought a house together. We were the happiest couple. Strong and successful. We experienced .any things together through death, extreme medical needs, and loss of income. Through it all we survived. The last year he started gaining weight significantly, was moody, uninterested in sex, his job was exhausting him and the income was suffering. We were over extended and he felt pressured of finances and family and frienda constantly hinting at marriage. One day on his 31st birthday he snapped from a small misunderstanding and we separated. In two months of space his anger was still evident even with minimal contact until it was final he wanted me to move out. But everyone including his family can’t make sense of why he is doing this. I’ve read about anhedonia and depression. I can’t get through and want him back. I recognize all of the issues and am fully recovered personally. I’m healthier than I have ever been and now that I finally moved out I’m going to try no contact again. But how do I get him to start recovering and coming back to me and when. He said he loves me and isn’t in love. He says he feels nothing. He’s been extremely hurtful and nasty to me during this process. Like a complete 180. What can I do?
Hi me n my ex were with each other for 6 months he has 3 children living with him but things always came up with him in his life he kept splitting up with me n then he gave me my stuff back and has deleted me of facebook and he ignores my texts i love him how do i get him back we both said some horrible things to each other but i love him so much please help
Hi Gemma,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how painful this can be. I’d like to learn more about what’s happening in his life. There can be things you can do in order to turn this around. Your situation seems complicated and I don’t think this comment chat is going to communicate it effectively enough for me to help. I invite you to book a session with me.
I look forward to connecting with you.
Best,
Coach N.
Hey, so me and my ex were in a relationship for 3 years. He is younger then me. A shy of 1 year apart. I’m 18 and he is 17. We broke up seriously for 3 months. It was toxic. We hated each other but it wasn’t hate. It was love that turned into hate. We recently got back together, after that 3 month break and things were fine at first, until he would talk to other females on social media. I would nag him and accuse him and then he finally stopped after how seriously I was about leaving him. It was okay then my trust issues got in the way. I didn’t nag him ass much but I know I did stress him out here and there about the wrong things I shouldn’t have been worried about. We got into an argument last night, and this morning he says we need a break. He still cares for me. And all that crap. But he says he wants to “do him” like the last time we broke up. I told him I would change and so on and he just kept saying, he wants to do him. He can’t be in a relationship with me, AGAIN. But idk why, like I know why. But I wanna get him back and idk how..
Hi Sayde,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how painful this is and how much anxiety it brings. I believe that space will be good for you – let him know that he’s not the center of your universe. Right now, by begging, you give him all the power. Stay strong! If you need help, we can support you. I invite you to book a session with me. I have a few tips that will really help you get him back.
All the best,
Coach N
Hi Theodore,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I feel like space is your best bet right now – let her really miss you. Longing can trigger healing. If you need help, I’d love to give you some tips to turn this around. I invite you to book a session with me.
Wishing you the best,
Coach N
Thank you Natalie. She said “that she lost feelings for me” and when i asked to try and get them back she said “No they are not coming back”. do i still have a chance or is there no hope after i give her months of space.
Hi Theodore,
In order to really answer this, I’ll need to know very specific details. Please book a session and we can discuss.
Wishing you the best,
Coach N
Hi,
My ex girlfriend and I were together for a little over 5 years. I was her first bf, and person she was ever intimate with. Our relationship was a bit rough, age gap had a lot to do with it I suppose, 7 years older than her. I was very sharp with my mouth, jusgemental, unhappy with myself and took it out on her. We have two children together. She cheated on me a couple years ago, it was hard to bounce back from that but we “managed”. I asked her to move out and let’s try to work things out from a distance almost a year ago. A few weeks after she decided that we should see other people. Well I got afraid, and pushed for us to be back together. After a month and a half we did. Things were better but still a bit rocky at times. Two months ago we got into an arguement she said we were done and she was serious this time. Told me to get everything from her place, not even a week later she was exchanging numbers with guys and making plans to go on dates. I stuck it out, let her go and do whatever, just continued to be there for my children. A couple weeks ago we started to take a little more, started spending more time at each other’s houses, kids a couple times and eventually had sex a few times. She wanted to cuddle at night and have me hold her. I continuously talked about us, telling her not to be afraid and asked why she wouldn’t give us another chance. She would always remind me that she wasn’t ready, and doesn’t know if she’ll ever be. But I would continue to push and question. She later said that it’s all or nothing with me and this is why it has to be nothing. Continuously says our personalities don’t match and she just isn’t happy with me. That we were two miserable people just living together. Since then she’s distant again, no initiation through text with me unless it’s about the kids or to complain about something I’m doing wrong. Do I just give up? She’s dead set on dating, I don’t know if she is or not at the moment, one second she’s saying she’s not ready for a serious relationship, the next she’s saying she wants to date. Feels like this time around she’s doing less and less, every time I do get a how are you today. Which is very rarely, I feel like it’s just a way to be nice because she wants something. Do I let her go? I think she knows that if I’m still around, it’s going to delay her dating, and she’s trying to move on fast. She is talking to guys I guess. Did I push to much? Was she using me for those moments she was lonely and wanted her family… just to help herself get over me? I don’t know what to do
Hi Jay,
I’m happy to see that you’ve done the work and that you truly seem to want to make this relationship work for the right reasons.
There are no guarantees here, as your situation is a complex one…but I do believe that I can help you maximize your chances of making it work – and I do think that it is possible to turn everything around.
I would recommend that you book a one hour private coaching session in order for me to respond to all of your questions, provide you with insights and a clear way forward.
Coach N
Hi Kiara,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. In reality, though, I feel it’ll be important for you to take a step away – because he won’t know what he’s missing until he feel he’s losing you. I know it’s hard, but it can help. There will be very specific ways to detach, though, to preserve the bond for later – I invite you to book a session with me. I can help you here!
Best,
Coach N
Hi Aaron,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. In order to change the tables of your situation, you’ll have to change your attitude. There are ways to demonstrate your strengths and make her re-attracted to you. I do believe you’re able to turn this around. If you need help, I invite you to book a session with me or Coach Adrian. We can help.
Best,
Coach N
My ex husband and I got divorced April of this year after being married 8 years and together 12. The divorce was originally my decision as when we argued he would say he wanted a divorce and how he couldn’t trust me. He couldn’t trust me cause I made a selfish decision a year ago and cheated on him with a co worker. He and I had both made some mistakes that started damaging our relationship between lying and hiding not communicating with each other. Over the years I lost myself and became a person I wasn’t and didn’t even recognize myself. I still am deeply in love with him and have tried getting him back but he told me he doesn’t see that happening right now and cause I was bothering him he asked me to distance myself which I have done. I know he and I are stronger than this and if we get help, go to counseling, continue to work on ourselves we can get through this. I am not sure what to do, please help
Hi Bree,
I can’t help you in this way because I work a bit differently than most coaches. I like to understand all the intricacies of a given situation before providing insights and to make sure I provide you with the most appropriate way forward based on your current circumstances.
I know from experience that you need tailored support and a list of concrete steps to take to reach your goal. To get there we’ll need to dedicate time and interact in the most optimal way possible to have the desired results and truly maximize your chances of success.
To that end, I invite you to book a coaching session with me (1h00 hour would be the most ideal). After that it will be easier for me to continue to provide you with advice via email, but for now you’ll understand that it’s a bit difficult for me to advise you appropriately without knowing every relevant detail of your story.
Here is the link to book a coaching session:
https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
I sincerely look forward to hearing from you,
Coach N
Hi, my ex and I split up because I found out he was cheating on me with another girl he worked with. We had been together for 4 years on and off. I am 24 and he is 23 we have a 2 year old son together and the girl he cheated on me with has just graduated high school and is 18. He still is with her. He told me he cheated because he didn’t feel wanted or important. I feel like he just couldn’t handle me and he didn’t want to grow up. I have taken care of everything for us and I even got him a better job right before I found this out. Since he has left he has put this girl ahead of our child and doesn’t try to spend time with our 2 year old son. I don’t know what I should do. I do love him and he knows it and I want more than anything for my family to be together but I honestly don’t know if it’s even worth it. I love him but I don’t understand how he can move on that quickly with someone so young. I do believe age is just a number but after atleast 22 when you have experienced a few things and have grown up. Any advice from you would really help in this situation.
Hi Valerie,
I can’t help you in this way because I work a bit differently than most coaches. I like to understand all the intricacies of a given situation before providing insights and to make sure I provide you with the most appropriate way forward based on your current circumstances.
I know from experience that you need tailored support and a list of concrete steps to take to reach your goal. To get there we’ll need to dedicate time and interact in the most optimal way possible to have the desired results and truly maximize your chances of success.
To that end, I invite you to book a coaching session with me (1h00 hour would be the most ideal). After that it will be easier for me to continue to provide you with advice via email, but for now you’ll understand that it’s a bit difficult for me to advise you appropriately without knowing every relevant detail of your story.
Here is the link to book a coaching session:
https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
I sincerely look forward to hearing from you,
Coach N
My ex and I broke up or went on a break I meant 2 weeks ago. We been together for 3 years. I gave her the world and she did for me. I didn’t ask for much because I understood she was in med school. But she is in her 3 year going to 4 year. She was worried that she wasn’t going to graduate on time or finish school. Now we been through worst situations than this but she cut all tie including me. I don’t know what to do?
Hi, my ex broke up with me a little over a month and a half. we broke up due to me being physically abusive to her throughout the last year of our 2 year relationship. We were our very first real relationship and we had never been with anyone serious before. The last physical offence came infront of her friends. I am aware physical abuse is never justified and it’s horrible. I only have the courage to want her back since after the break up I joined a program for abusers, starting to go to therapy and group sessions for physical abusers and anger management. Throughout the first month, I tried no contact and while we still had contact, the contact in itself was very little. While on the no contact period instead of begging and pleading I focused on myself and becoming better. I joined a abusers program as said before, started working out, bought new clothes and changed my hairstyle. I also through out the no contact period I purposely made her jealous. Eventually when I felt it was time to get together I went several times to her apartment with flowers and apologies. Throughout this time she just said she didn’t want me anymore only for her to change her mind later, she eventually started saying she only wanted me as a friend only for her to change her mind and tell me she didn’t know what she wanted. Through out all of this she would call me crying. I through out this phase also learned she had started to see someone else over long distance. Such event brought me back to square one on my newfound knowledge and I acted rashly, while I did not in any way physically hurt her, i slammed her windows, barged In Her apartment, took all my possessions and my gifts to her, i unfriended her in all social medias, and called her a cheater. I also sent very hurtful messages only to give some couple of days to send another ones with a completely different vibe in search of redemption. I fear I pushed her away again to her new boyfriend and she just sees me as a joke now. I tried calling but she won’t answer me anymore, when she does she acts bothered and highly annoyed. While she reads my texts, she never answers and people have told me she seemed very happy while talking on the phone with her new boyfriend. Through out the entire month and a half, when we had contact I constantly tried to have a talk both us about everything. She never accepted it and to this day the communication has been Severely lacking.. I please ask guidance on this matter, I feel horrible and guilty about everything for I know all of this is my fault. The only reason why I have enough courage to want her back is only due to me genuinely trying to become better for her. What can I do? What should I do?
Hi
My husband and I separated 6months ago as I found he cheated with a women from work, he now moved into the house she shares with other work mates. He adment that he didn’t start a relationship with her until after he left me. And he didn’t collect any of his belongings. I took them to his brothers.
We have a daughter together and he comes every week to see her and we talk.
When his first left he text me all sorts of things saying am a bad mother druggy etc but now it’s different he will text me about arrangements and we end up having small text talks, he will answer phone if I cal him. When out with daughter he asks what am up too but talks about plans in future though we not together and when he leaves he always says good bye to me.
Work friends of his says that he isn’t get along with her, they drive separately to work though on same shift and that she is an alcoholic and been in work drunk a few times which he doesn’t like.
But he has brought are daughter phone and will try to make arrangement with daughter rather than me but she only 9.
He has however started liking post I out of kids on instagram
I don’t know what to think is there a chance for me to save marriage or has he moved on.
Hey, my ex ended things with me back in February. We have had an on/off relationship for the past 2.5-3 years. She is 32 and I am 24. we met 4 years ago and fell deeply in love due to our chemistry, ability to just enjoy eachothers company, similar hobbies/life goals etc… However, I had an insecurity of seeking approval from other women. I would reach out via text message/snapchat/facebook etc to seek approval even though I had the woman of my dreams in front of me. She continued to believe in me and have faith that I would change. However, In February, we hit a rough spot and I felt distant. I voiced that concern to her and she ended up breaking up with me. We continued communication as we both knew we still deeply loved eachother but it was like we were fighting against all the odds. We started seeing a counselor (separately at first so that we could figure ourselves out and then begin meeting together). Unfortunately, after 2 sessions with the counselor (in which she told the counselor she wanted to marry me) she all-of-a-sudden was uninterested in reconciling with me and shortly thereafter started seeing/hanging out with another guy. The counselor and I were both surprised at her rapid change of heart. Since then our communication has been minimal. We have cordial conversations when she allows but it all comes down to her feeling like we will never get out of this cycle of me letting her down and she always says her heart is just not in it anymore. We talked a few days ago for 4 hours in person and she ended up saying a couple of times that she doesn’t know what she’s even doing. Its so hard to tell if she is over me or if she is just fighting the temptation to try again out of fear of being hurt. Would NC work in this situation? She is 32 and divorced and has no kids but ready to start a family. I feel that NC would push her into the new guys arms because she wants to start a family (even though he is not even close to right for her.)
Hi, my ex ended it with me and moved out last week. To me it seemed very rash as only a couple of days precious he was discussing what we’re going to do for our anniversary next month. We have been arguing on off the last couple of weeks. We had a bit of a bad break up we’re we said some horrible things to each other but since then we’re more civil I seen him last Sunday when he came to get things. This is the second time we’ve broke up in 3 years. Will he want me back?
My LDR ex and I had broken up in March of 2017 and I had recently found out that she is already planning on getting married in August of 2017, how could this happen so quickly?
Hi Paul,
Thank you for your share. If you’re looking for help, we invite you to book a session with us. Here’s a link where you can do so: http://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching
In a session, we’ll dive into the details of your relationship and we’ll develop a tailored game plan to turn your situation around. These unique game plans are where to majority of our clients’ success stems from. We have a lot of experience in this area and are excited to help you maximize your chances of getting your ex back.
Best,
Coach N
I read all these comments and everyone seems to be able to still communicate with there ex. My ex changed her number doesn’t talk to me and won’t respond to me. We still friends on Facebook and Instagram. Last time I talked to her I was on Facebook messenger and we talked a little nothing but mostly about getting her things from my house which she left here for 3 months. After that conversation she came by the next day to get them. We talked a little but she seems serious about not getting back together. She said it had to do a lot with the abortion she had a year ago. She pretty much said it was my fault and all which hurt because she kept saying I don’t know what she had to go through but I do know. I just didn’t handle it the way she did. I feel into a depression and was pretty lazy for awhile which brought the breakup. She said I had anger problems towards other people. Not her but random people. I would never hurt her on purpose. Idk I just been missing her the past 3 months since the breakup. It kills me that she thinks I didn’t care about the abortion. It was a mutual decision. I hope later like a year or two we can reconnect. I handled a lot of things wrong. Cried to her trying to get her back and probably text a little to much and called. When she came and got her stuff she said she cared but it wasn’t the same. I’m just going to give her space for a long time and see if we can reconnect later on.
He was still married when I moved to Ohio to be with him..it was all about the wife…10 months later he divorced her and still about her and what she did or didn’t do…he decided to break up with me and he was also talking to another female behind my back…he told that my son and I had to move by June…while he hooked up with another female a few days after he broke up with me…then after my son and I moved out…he moved her and her daughter in….in all honesty…why would u want some one back like this???
So. The story goes, fall in love, got engaged and had a baby. 2 weeks after the birth he had to work out of the country. After 4/5 months he told me that he doesnt know about being engaged anymore and will see what happens when he gets back. So in the first discussion he withdrew his words and said the engagement is still on. Then for 2 weeks he was cold and didnt answer his phone.
Obviously I am heartbroken at his actions and phoned him to tell him I cant take it anymore. I called the engagement off and now I dont know how to speak with him on the phone. I am very short and punctual and I dont let him know what I am up to anymore. I love him and thought we would be able to do long distance with our bond. I dont know what has gotten into him and told me he wants to be alone.
Hi,
Me and my ex were together for two years and he loved me dearly but I had cheated on him when things were rough. He has completely walled me out and I actually messed up as this was the person who loved me most. I want to spend my life with him but right now he is completely not talking to me and says he’s moving on and doesn’t see himself ever with me. I don’t know how long to go for no contact.
My boyfriend just broke up with me this pass saturday because he said that we dont communicate and im too far away from him. He also said that he hadnt got over what had happened back in december of last year. So when me and boyfriend first got together we had met on instagram. We was cool with each other it was like we was perfect for each other. He lived 2 hours away from me at the time and we would do our best to try to see each other. He didnt have a car so he took the bus and I sometimes drive down to be with him. We facetimed talked you name it. He was going through some stressful times with work and not having a car being in a city where he knew only his brother and sister. I suggested he move in with me and start working and he did. I had met his mom who is in california and i also met his friend brother sister grandmother and his dad on face time because they where so far. Me and him would argue about little things like him being his phone all the time or my clothes being too small. We got into it one time because a guy face timed me and i lied who it was even though me and the guy hadnt talked in years i dont know why i lied but we got over it. at least i did. He had a hard time forgiving me of the things I did. like letting one of my regulars kiss me on the jaw. I didnt think nothing of it because he was a old man and it happened right in front of my ex. We got into fights where i would hit him first and kept hitting him and we would say bad things to each other but i would take it to another level. I told him fuck his mom and everything. Ive put my hands on him 3 times in the two yers we was together all in the same year. the third time i did it he broke up with me and said he was done for good and told all his family what happened so they looked at me differently. The last fight i started and finished and i felt so bad after it because i was drunk. after that we still lived together but wasnt together. He would try to touch me and have sex with me but i kept telling him we not together. I was very forceful to be in the relationship to where he wopuld always tell me dont force it just let it happen. I tried but every time i would remind him im not his girlfriend no matter how bad i wanted to be all over him. He then started to sleep back in the bed with me and we wouldnt cuddle or anything. We didnt take showers together anymore nothing. He started going out more and drinking. I would be so sensitive and start crying because he would leave not say anything to me and i would see him having fun on social media. I then went to counseling for my anger and abuse. He saw i was trying to better so we ended up getting back together. He would call me baby want to have lunch dates and all. We would watch movies together he helped me move to texas and everything. He wanted to be down here with me but he ended up getting a really good job in atlanta so we seperated. We would text and talk when we could during the week just checking in on each other. Then on the weekends when he was off work i would barely hear from him and he would say he with his friends and his brother and i would get so mad and keep blowing him up. Our last argument was about his ex because they are still friends. I didnt like it because they would put heart eyes and stuff under each other pages and i couldnt stand it. After i kept telling him to cut her off why he holding on he told me he didnt want her i diodnt have to worry about her and things will get better. He would start contacting me more and he needed to see me. Right after that he told me he had no desire to be with me anymore. I went crazy i cried so loud and he ignored me. He acted as if he didnt care and i was getting on his nerves. Im been trying my best not to call him or text him but its so hard. He called and we had a brief conversation then the next day we didnt talk at all so I dont know whats going to happen. I told him im sorry for the hurt and all he said he still love me and will always be there for me. what should i do?
My boyfriend/best friend of six years prior broke up with me about a month ago because he had too many things going on at once. He said he would always have a piece of him that loves me, but we should go back to being friends. He recently told me he is sort of seeing someone else and insists that she isnt the cause of our break up and they met after(I didnt ask, he just tried to explain).
Hello Tay,
Thanks for reaching out.
I think that I can help you turn things around but you will need to book a coaching session in order for us to work together.
You can book a coaching session with me here:
https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
If you book a session, I will reach out to you right away to schedule a time and day for us to speak.
Hope to chat with you soon!
Sincerely,
Coach Natalie
Hello ! My bf broke up with me in January after a fight it was our third breakup he dumped me thrice..even he blocked me on whatsapp for a month he did it for the first time..when he unblocked me I talked to him as a frnd..but things didnt work out..I blocked him for a month when i unblocked him he desperately messaged me within a sec of unblocking ..I ignored.. he texted me every now n then but it was only hello and useless texts,nothing important ..so I ignored, he stopped messaging me now it’s been 10days since he stopped texting ..I don’t know what is going in his mind what does he want..is there any hope I want to get back together with him..
Hi Isma,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation – I know how frustrating and painful and challenging this can all be. I feel that, based on my professional experience, a tailored strategy will be your best chance of turning this around. I invite you to schedule a session with me so we can work together. I find your situation fixable, but complex and needing of some TLC. Please visit this link to book : http://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching
Best,
Coach N
I do hair question I broke up my boyfriend about a month ago and we’ve been talking on and off for the months but he blocked me from Facebook and Snapchat he called me by his nickname he said he will always love me he said he can’t forgive me he comes around my mom’s house to see if I’m there and I’m not there and then he goes down have fun with his friends and then when he looks in the camera he smiled and then he walks away he’s not smiling no more through live on Facebook I don’t know what to do with this situation I don’t know if he’s over or not he did change his number but he do call me from other people’s number I don’t know what to think about the situation maybe you can help me he did say he will always love me but the things that he does it seems like he wants me back but I don’t know does the first time I’m actually deeply in love with somebody and I broke up with them the first time he broke up with me the second time I broke up with him
Hi Jadenthemsft,
Fixing this is possible. I have helped clients achieve success under worse circumstances. However, I’d like to really delve into your situation in order to help.
I would recommend that you book a one hour private coaching session in order for me to respond to all of your questions, provide you with insights and a clear way forward.
I sincerely hope to hear from you soon.
Regards,
Natalie
Coach Adrian, My ex broke up with me 5 weeks ago and we have talked 3 times, all initiated by me. I believe she was in a short fling but no longer is. We were together for 3 years and lived together for almost 2. She broke up with me because I became complacent, reserved and unmotivated. I participated less and less in the relationship as other stresses of life got to me. I want her back and don’t seem to be making any progress. We currently are in a NC period for 12 days but this was more imposed by her as she said it “wasn’t necessary” to have contact anymore. I have seen some signs on social media that she may miss me but nothing concrete. She tends to be strong willed and stubborn, plus the added fact of the “fling/rebound”. How long should I let NC go on or is there another step I should be taking?
hi,
my boyfriend and i broke up last month. the reason of
our break up he got bored on our relationship. we are in LDR for one
year and half months. before our break up, we are so happy, no fighting
no arguments but one day he changed, he doesn’t want to talk to me, he
doesn’t want to see me. and i ask him if what is the reason for being
cold to me. and he said that he got bored, i was so surprised of his
answer. bc before that happened he always told to me how much he loves
me, that his feelings for me will never fade away. i haveinstinct that
he has someone else. and he said to me he wants to be friends. i was so
confused. i dont know what to do, i love him so much. i hope that you
will help me with my situation.
Me and my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up over a month ago. We started dating when she was 16 and I was 17. We were super happy all the time. During our relationship, we did everything together, and we’re together almost every day and talked every day. The last 3 months of our relationship, I started hanging out with a new guy friend I met at school. Me and my ex became complacent and did not try to impress or do a whole lot like we used to. We still went on a date at least once a week. But I would text her slowly and be kinda mean to her when I was hanging out with my new friend. I did not mean to do this. Then me and her went on a date and we’re talking about a fight we had previously and I said I had vented to my new friend. She had gotten angry and left without saying goodbye or kissing me or anything we normally did. Out of anger I told her we needed a break. A few days later we met to talk. She said she needed time and that I hurt her. That night I dropped off all of her stuff because I was scared she was going to end things. The next morning I lied and said I had gotten kicked out so she would meet with me. I fessed up on my lie before she met with me, but she insisted on meeting. She then ended things. Within a few days, she was hanging out with girlfriends that she had previously “hated”. They began to hangout as a group with a group of guys. She then began to like all of one of the guys stuff on Twitter. I then texted her that I saw she’s moving on and that I would like my stuff back. She ignored it and a few days later it happened again, and I asked if we could meet and she agreed. We ended up talking on the phone that night for an hour, we talked about how we missed and loved each other. She then said we can’t be friends right now. Then the next day I texted her and asked why she broke up with me because I was unsure. She said I lied to her, which was the one time. That I didn’t trust her, cause I was always how she acted around certain girlfriends. And that I put my friend first and treated her horribly when I was with them. I then said I’d like a chance to treat her better and it ended with that. Then a week later on her birthday, I dropped off flowers and a note that said happy birthday, she didn’t even say thank you. It then text her that night Happy Birthday and she ignored it. The I got screenshots of a tinder account she had made with her main picture as her in a bikini she had taken that day. I then texted her the picture and told her how bad it made me feel and she told me to calm down that it was a joke. The I told her I was going to block her on all social media and unblock her in a little. It’s been 24 days since we last spoke. I unblocked her, she hasn’t unblocked me. I was recently told that she was on a group chat for incoming college freshman at a school we are going to, talking about her ex (me) who goes to GCU. They were doing a matchmaking a thing on there and she wanted to have her match made. I also saw a few days ago that she had added a picture to her tinder. I want her back, and have had no contact for 24 days. I recently unfollowed all her family on social media because I couldn’t stand seeing their names pop up. I then had all my family unfollow her.Her mom then unfollowed me even though her family loved me. I want her back and I’m unsure how to get her back. We live in the same building at our school starting in late August and we’re gonna see each other a lot. When and howshould I try contacting her?
Update, I texted her a week days ago and asked how she is doing and she ignored it…. o went 31 days no contact and that didn’t work
Hello,
Me and My Ex have done LDR for eighth month’s basically and we were so good, Sweet text promises I’d never thought we’d break. He’s In the service so he’s constantly busy and I’m always busy myself, He’s more of the emotional one in the relationship and we have never met it was the plan. I didn’t attempt to do Long Distance I’ve always thought it was crazy but I fell in love with him and trust me it scared me to have loved a guy period but we got into a fight and he’s open with his emotions. I’m not he told me he loved me way before I’d ever said such word. But in the mix it came out and he was mad and it was as if that word triggered him and the fight ceased. It hurts me many times over the petty fights we have we break up constantly it’s usually him calling it at this point he’s jealous insecure and I don’t know what for he’s perfect in many ways looks personality he has it all. Me and Him are both easy to get attention from others, but I only wanted him I’m so unsure how to feel we have hated brutal fight’s like every insult you can think of and we get together the next day. It got to a point of being unhealthy but now were going on Two weeks of being over an it hurts because I devoted so much time in loving him and he said I’ll find someone who care’s? I’m more insulted at that then if he moved on, We have talked everyday since the breakup whether it’s through a friend or through various social media. I’m not sure how to feel at this point I feel like he and I have both said done so much it’s to a point it’s normal and I’m not sure if it’s final this time. I’m paranoid at the fact he may find someone else, When we broke up several guys came at me and I only still want him, Why because I love him and he doesn’t believe I do. I’ve dated before and out of the guys I’ve ever dated he stood out to me and I have a background of seeing men abuse women mentally growing up, I’ve seen men tactics and I just never took a guy serious and so it’s harder for me to reveal my feelings. He’s the guy for me and he just believes I didn’t love him and he said I lost his trust because of me having male friends he even stated at a point I should be lucky he allows me to have male friends when he can have female ones then I stood up for myself and he changed his opinion on that and the whole situation was just of jealousy and insecurity and I wasn’t in the wrong but I know somewhere he’s for me. He’s even attempted making me jealous many times, and told me he wants a reaction. The fact is anyone who knows me knows I would never fight for a guy if I didn’t feel for him it’s a honesty insulting to me, I feel as if he were over me he wouldn’t reply, were currently talking on a social media app and it says he was on recently I’m assuming for me as though we use the app for one another an I left him on read. I know of the no contact rule but 8 months seems short to do such thing, I feel like I can get him back the fact he’s had two weeks to chill and do what he needs to do same as I. I realize he’s the love of my life because I’ve never been emotional over a guy were over that’s fine. With him I couldn’t eat nor sleep and I talked about him constantly to friends and it got annoying after a bit, When I’m not thinking of him I’m being reminded of him my mom has never approved of the men I bring to her attention but she said he was the one and I’m so upset she tells me now I want to fight hard for it cause I love him with all my heart. When we broke up I felt empty, It worries me because women have already been hitting on him now I’m not in the picture I trust him with my life he was willing to give me passcodes and anything whatever I wanted if I make a accusation he’s showing me everything maybe I’m blinded by love but he sounds hurt. I don’t want to hurt my Baby. He was the one for me he use to scare me saying he could see us married and having kids by next year and I’d say mabye in year 2020 as a joke cause were young and he was serious and I knew that scared me but with him I feel like the world is our’s and now If he’s out of my life for good the world is just mine. At this point I’ve considered a rebound to remove the pain but there not him. We just had an amazing relationship, and when we fight we say rude remarks and I just hope I can get a solution to fix all of this.
I was with my ex for 16 years and have two children so we have to stay in touch. Our separation was caused by my hectic work schedule which in turn had me lose quality time with him. He was constantly needing ego boosts and reassurance. After our break up he tried winning me back but I was hard headed and refused because I wanted to see a change in him too. Now I’m afraid to lose him and the roles reversed I’m trying to win him back and he says he’s moved on with someone else. It’s been less than 4 months in this new relationship for him. He’s not responding to me like usual and shutting me out. However I get texts saying how he misses his family and will always love me. In fact we recently had a night full of tears and love where he admitted that us being together is all he ever wanted. That he still looks at pictures of me and he still loves me. But then reverts back to being cold and dismissive. Am I a fool to keep trying to salvage this relationship? Has he really moved on? Now if I say anything I’m seen as “clingy” when before the issue was that I didn’t show enough affection.
Me and my ex boyfriend were together for 2 years and a month. This is our second breakup. We got back together after two months and it was his idea. Fast forward and year later and he ends it once again. The first time I didn’t use no contact, but we still had contact here and there and met up a few times. It was obvious he was still attracted and wanted me back but was afraid to rush things. This time around I went into no contact and I am wondering if it will still be effective? Currently on day 28. I haven’t reached out to him on any social media platforms. We bumped into eachother once throughout the last month with him making small talk first. Wondering what to do next or if I should wait a little longer in NC before reaching out?
Hi, I was seeing a girl for about 3 months. Which doesn’t seem like a lot of time, however we spent pretty much every day together besides when we had our own separate plans. Everything in the beginning was great, lots of flirting, happiness etc. problems started to arise when I questioned what the relationship was since she still had a dating account. She said yes she did but she didn’t use it and that she wanted to get to know each other more without jumping into a relationship, so we continued on until a couple weeks later when it seemed like she was possibly talking to others and was getting jealous over me messaging someone that wasn’t anythingg except friendly, so I tried ending things saying we didnt want different things but we were moving at different paces, then she came back saying she didn’t want to lose me and only wanted me, however later on down the road I found myself questioning if she actually wanted to get to know me better or if she was just stringing me along, all this made her feel like I was going back and forth with how I felt but my main goal was always to be with her. She told me we should just be friends for now because this wasn’t working right now and I told her I didn’t want to settle for justs friends so we spent some time apart and she messaged me almost every night saying she missed me and that she wanted me next to her. When we meet up about 2 weeks later it was like nothing had happened between us she seemed really passionate but was constantly texting someone that it seemed she was interested in, and they came down to stay with her that weekend and I didn’t hear from her. The next week I ended things and she told me she loved me as a person and she wanted me in her life she just didn’t see us working now because of everything that happened, I said maybe we just give this time. And she said give it time and then try again maybe. She swears there’s nobody else she’s talking to but it seems like maybe I’ve pushed her to this other person since our connection is rocky and this person is new to her even though they live far away. I texted her telling her I wanted her as a friend rather than not having her in my life at all and she said she really wanted me in her life and then when she came to get her stuff was acting sad and said she should go then when I walked her out she said she missed me and I said I’m sorry and she said she was going to go home and cry.. I haven’t heard from her in days and when I texted her telling her I missed her and her cat she just blew it off like nothing. Will giving her space make her want to be in my life again or just move on?
Hi Adrian,
I have been with my ex for a little over 3 years. We started dating as freshman in college. Our relationship has experienced many hardships, with many arguments, but as well we’ve had a lot of great times. I’ll get straight the the chase. Our break up really started when we got into an argument before summer break. We both were going home in separate places, and away from school. That argument got to the point where I didn’t even give her a hug or kiss goodbye. She was only supposed to be home for a week, then coming back to school/ there area we lived in. She got home, I really felt bad I didn’t give her a hug goodbye and I apologized for it. Things got a bit better as she was away, but another argument strung up when she was blowing up my phone and I blocked her. She got very upset and her parents found out. She then was staying a few extra days at home. This upset me, and I started to act selfish and ask her for to come back and tell her she broke her promise, that she would come home after a week. She ends up staying a bit longer and the argument led to her father calling me, to tel me to back off, stop blowing her phone up. I told him I would, which I did for only a couple days. He said that she would stay at her home for the summer, she was in a lot of pain, and that it would be a little break. Then as week and a half later, I messaged her about an incident that happened with me and a few friends. I was intoxicated during this situation and she called me voicing concern about it. Everything was okay, I realized she cared, until the next day I told her that this situation took place at a club. She called my phone screaming, while in her own household. Again her father got involved and called me and told me that I need to get off the phone and that he is filing a restraining order. I did not open the voicemail he left until a month later so I wasn’t aware of this at the time. However I was doing my best at trying to calm the situation down, but it didn’t work. Anyways I haven’t heard from her recently, but I’ve made some mistakes by emailing her still telling her I apologize, and I’m working on myself. She’s been messaging back every now and then, and even called me about two weeks later from the incident with her father, asking if I was seeing anyone else. I am blocked and I’m concerned she’s moving on and not letting me know. It’s now been two weeks since any contact between us. I figured space is the best thing for us now, although it’s hard.
Hello. I feel like my situation is very tricky. I met a guy shortly after his divorce. Like 5 months after. His wife cheated and married the guy. I dated this guy who is 35 with with two boys and I am 29 with 3 kids. We also were having a long distance relationship. Two hours away from each other. We met because his friends live where I live. He wanted to move back here because this is where he grew up but he didn’t want to stay away from his kids. So we talked about me moving there but the more serious it got the more he was worried about me moving there for “him”. How it was too much pressure. I was confused. We fell in love. Met each other’s families. Had vacations together etc. we broke up this past Jan. After that he became a totally different person. Accusing me of being on dates. Saying how I’m just like his ex. He thought I was different. Then he would be sweet and say how much he misses me/ loves me. After 6 months of this. I noticed he was hanging out with some girl from his church and I would ask him about her and he kept saying they’re friends. Long story short I was told just a few days ago he’s going to start dating her. I was CRUSHED. We argued at first then as emotions died down he kept telling me how much he loves me and how he thinks about me still all the time and how he will always love me but just couldn’t have me the way he needed me. He said it wasn’t until he fell in love with me that he realized not being together everyday or being able to see each other when ever we wanted was taking a toll on him. He said it makes him sick to know I will make someone else happy. He said I changed his world. He said he watches my Facebook all the time because he thinks about me all the time so I asked. “Why date someone else then” he said he only knows what to do that is healthy and that wishing our circumstances were different was going to change them. He said he wishes we were in the same city but he knew I would move there. He did say “who knows maybe one day things will be different” I know his heart is in my city but his kids are in his city. My thing is.. is this it. Does he really even move me. Is there a possibility he’s just trying to move on or is he really just over me? My heart loves him and even he said the other day he wasn’t going to argue with me because he knows what we had was real but it just wasn’t going to work with us being away from each other. But again he knew I could and would move. He said it was too much pressure. Should I just give it time and build my life and see where life take us. Let him roam and if it’s true love it won’t fade? I’m confused.
Hello .. my situation is difficult.. me and my ex have not had contact in close to a month .. I moved out on July 1st and could not gra b all of my stuff .. now she is not giving it back at all .. not even through a third or fourth party.. now there is a no contact order on us… I have not broken it.. but I see her out with friends and even a guy now and then .. my hair not giving my stuff back this nation believe that she’s holding on to something and not truly ready to let me go.. some insight please
What do I do when I’m living with my ex parents because I lost everything and have no family and he just broke up with me 3 days ago for another girl but he still come see around in announced and treats me like I’m not ther but puts out signs that he is trying to make me look at him.
Hey, So I dated this girl for almost 2 years. We were definitely in love, the relationship had issues however. Many to do with her parents.. During the first few meetings they didn’t really seem to like me even though I have a good job, house, vehicles and was very supportive of their daughter. Towards the end of the relationship she seemed to be balancing or having to choose between family or me. I feel like I should have made more of an effort to interact with her family and things may have been different. She ended up leaving me the 24th. Currently the 30th as I write this. On the 26th I felt the need to call her and apologise. Tried to persuade her that I can be that man she needs. It didn’t go well. After a 1 hour convo she said no chance. But the few days earlier she had said just needs space.. I know she is hurt and I know I can change. Besides no contact.. What would be my next step to getting her back if possible ? To show her I am that man she wants
Hi there I’m Edge I’ve been with with ex for 7 months on and off and she broke up with me this time and said she is moving on. I’ve started to see it was trust and I’ve been working on it I haven’t talked to her 2days now how long would you say to give it space..?
Hi Fabrizio,
Thank you for reaching out. I can’t guide you on what to do without learning more, and so I invite you to schedule a coaching session with me so we can discuss.
Please visit this link: http://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching
I know from experience that every situation requires a unique approach. I’m looking forward to helping you develop yours.
Wishing you the very best,
Coach N
I’ve been broken up for a week now she’s told me she is moving on and we haven’t spook sence begining of last week do i keep the no contact rule for 10days or longer??
Hello. So my ex and I had a falling out 2 weeks ago. We’ve been together 8 months. We had a really rocky relationship but a big strong connection between us. We got back together last week on his effort but a few days later got in a huge fight and he left. We didn’t talk for 4 days until he said that we needed to. I met up with him yesterday and he was talking about all of our bills we had together and How he’s dropping my stuff off tomorrow. Then I asked if we could talk for closure and we did. He said a lot of things like he feels relieved now and what not. I texted him after seeing him last night saying thank you for everything and he replied your welcome and then we starting texting more about our bills and what to do. Then he started texting me things that were really nice but not about us just kind of keeping the conversation going without being short or rude, he sent a picture of something that reminded him that we used to do together. And I haven’t replied. I just need some input or help.
Hi Jacquelin,
I’m sorry I saw this so late! I’m glad we connected 🙂
Hello,
I have a situation I was dating this guy I work with. He chased me at the beginning and I liked him so went out with him on few dates. We had very strong chemistry and connection and still do. I was cool about it just enjoying it. I think we started to develop slight feeling with each other so we decided after discussion that we move on because we cannot give each other what we want. I felt peaceful about it never panic since I aw saw him everyday and cared for him and we were still taking as friends very little but with now me initiating most of the contact where in the past it was him. I realize after a while that I want Romantic relationship with him which first time I realize this. So I stopped contacting him at all and try to avoid him at work (3 weeks now ). Still saying hi to him like colleagues when I see him.i am doing it partly to move on and partly to make him give me what I want and decide on our status . We are working now for almost 2 years together and started dating only after 1 year to back and forth flirting, more from him I was just okay with it. My question is I know he cares about me and has some feelings for me . But do you think he will give me what I want in terms of romantic relationship and I can also give the same (when intially I was saying no) if I don’t contact him at all ? Or their is no point and that we should stay friends because nothing will change by giving him no contact . I don’t want to lose him as a good colleague at work. Can you advice ?
Hi Shoe Shop.
I’ve helped tons of people in your situation – and working together makes things tricky! I invite you to schedule a session with me. I can help!
http://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching
All the best,
Coach N.
Hi there,
I just wanted to thank you for this article for helping myself and many people to think a little differently from being so heartbroken.
This past Friday, around 12:15am, the girl I was having a relationship with got very definsive with a question I asked her. I mean I understand she had to answer it again but when it happened she told me and I told her well that’s okay just block the people who keep talking to you regardless of them knowing you’re in a relationship with me. But this time she responded with,”Wow. Really? You’re still with this?” I mean I was about 5 months of this situation happening before. I asked very calmly and I just wanted to know if she really did do what she told me she did. And instead of answering simply with a yes or I did, she goes asking I’m still with this. She told me she should block me and that she doesn’t want to talk to me. I told her that I just wanted to know if she really did and it wasn’t my intention to get her angry at me.she ended up saying how everything was lies. That everything I said and did was all lies. Yet for the past 8 months I did everything out of my heart. I did so to show her that I’m being true to myself and showing her that love is something everybody deserves.
But what gets me the most is that she always told me that she loves me through thick and thin, no matter what, forever and always, with all her heart, to death, and unconditionally and that she would tell me after words that she knows I have imperfections and flaws but she wants to make me the happiest and doesn’t care about the negatives of me. But then she says that everything was all lies, and then she says that she’s with me for all the wrong reasons.
She still contacts me and tells me she loves me, but she says that she doesn’t know and that she can’t.
I understand that she’s upset wth what I asked. I just feel that because she has a really bad temper she let it get out and control what how she felt, acted, and said.
We got together on December 1st 2016 so we always did something special on the 1st of every month. But something bad happened to me on May 1st 2017. I was driving to school and I live in Palmdale and got to Pasadena City College. I ended up taking the Angeles Crest highway but on my way I ended up going off a 100-foot cliff and I got brain trauma, I fractured my right collarbone, and I got an irregular heart beat. The rest of may I was in the hospital recovering and she was always there supporting me and telling me she loves me and she can’t leave me not because of my accident but because she knows I’ll need her more once school starts again. I went to a neuron center in Encino to recollect myself in my everyday lifestyle. She always called me and FaceTimed me during lunch and texted me everytime she couldn’t call me. She told me that she always prays for me but the accident caused her to pray for me more and it caused her mom and her church to pray for me.
I was discharged August 1st 2017 and I told her that I’m out of the center and I can go see her when she goes to summer school. She said she loved that. And so I did.
We both are different religions she Christian and I’m Catholic, but I never really went to church and going to her church did more for myself then the Catholic Church. But anyway she told me she doesn’t want me to change for her but for myself, and I have in all honesty. She always tells me from when she kissed me first to today that she loves me because I’m a guy who does t let his ego get in the way of myself and I’m true to everything I do and that she fell in love with me when she first saw me in a practice room playing my drum set for my jazz performance.
And now she calls me,”My love” and “Love”
To me it’s a bit confusing but maybe I’m just thinking to much about it. If you read all this please help in anyway. I can’t loose my best friend like this.
Thank you very much in advance.
Hey, me and my ex been together for going on six years. We are 22 so he was my high school sweet heart. He told me that he would tell me things I did he didn’t like and I would promise to change but I never did. So he said now he is fed up and don’t think we can ever be back together. We was living together but since then he moved out however still contributes to his half of the rent. We go many days without speaking before he calls me and ask how’s everything. He also picked up a new female friend whom he hangs out with on a regular. He said they are just friends but I kind of feel like he really likes her. They other day he stopped by my place and he told me that he sees how much I’ve changed and it really makes him upset it took all of this to get it, however he feels that his new lifestyle (being single) doing what ever he wants is better for him. He said he started talking to other girls and hopes that I can move on too. He ended by saying if you would have done all this when I was with you I wouldn’t never had to leave. We haven’t been together for about a month and a half. I am truly devastated and not sure if I ever could get him back. I’m still jealous that he hangs out with them girls especially one in particular and he doesn’t even call me no more thus is the reason we’ve been in NC for going on a week. Please help me
Hi coach natalie,
Ive been in a 9 year relarionship.we work and we live together however just this july we had a big fight. I freaked out i saw him chatting at 2am so we fought i wanted to grab his phone just to see whom he is chatting with. Eventually it was a group chat with all his guya friends. He’s been so close to other girls and so distant on me before. He’s telling me im too controlling. I once asked him what kind og relationship he wants. He told me he wants a rel. That is not suffocating. At work he ignores me. He is always with our filipino colleagues. He has an issues with my friends. So i became so aloof because i dont want him to keep o. Accusing them about gossiping. Im so insecure and depressed and it really shows. I get angry so easy. Its affecting my focus at work.btw both of us are OR nurses. I have a strong feeling that he is flirting with another colleague who is way younger than us. She is smart.bubbly.always happy. Shows positivity at work.his closeness to her makes me super jealous. He said that she’s just a friend but i dont see it that way. Now she always hang out with her with them. He ignores me doesnt even care about me in what i do or where i go. Doesnt even talk to me. Im trying to talk to him about our relationship but he shuts me down. So maybe indirectly he really tells me he doesnt give a damn. So there was no proper closure. I am so devastated just seeing him so happy while im at my worst situation. I see him daily at work and at home. I dont even know how to start moving forward and staying positive. I love him but if only we can communicate properly if only he is also opening up and willing to communicate. I did already everything to salvage the relationship.i even bought an ebook on how to get my ex back i dont know why nothing is working. I know that he is a smart guy and can really read whats going on. But most of the times the way he accuses me is beyond what he is thinking. I cant even confide with a friend at work since i dont want to disclose anhthing about our relationship. I dont want any drama and involve other people at work. It really is so hard keeping it to myself. He is having an issue also with me being so close to his mom and his family. He has been so cold to me for the last 2 years already but he still talks to me before. We still have some fun moments before.But now he really went back inside his man cave. No more talkingn.not even a single message. He considers me as his enemy. He doesnt want me in his life. He doesnt even want to look at me. Its like theres no more chance of us being together. He is always happy to be around with other people. I fear that im losing him to that woman. Im just so hopeless and dont know what to do. Im so sorry for all of this. Im trying my best to stay happy but i just cant. I also think that other people notices how he ignores me while they might be thinking that he is dating that other girl. I know that im in a very difficukt situation. My job is so important to me. And i cant leave our flat as well. Is there hope for us? Because i really think he is moving on. Thanks
Hey you guys me and my girlfriend had a massive argument and we didn’t speak for a week after that we spoke we made out we had a nice time the next day she called and said she needed space in which I sent her flowers and so fourth, I then saw her on Saturday last week and she invited me over to stay also. In which I did then this week we have been on and off and she don’t know if she had any feelings for me any more what do I do
James,
Thanks for reaching out. It seems to me, though, like the most important thing if for you to identify what went wrong and what issues you two are facing together and separately. If you want a gameplan on how to turn this around, I can help you. I believe in your situation. I invite you to schedule a session via this link: http://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching
Thank you and I’m looking forward to connecting.
Coach N
Hi ,
I have been with my wife for 2 years . Have been through tick and thin . She did a lot for me but she recently told me she is irritated and tired of the relationship . Now I realize that I had not treated her up to her expectations and she made this decision while she was away and now she is telling me to move in and let go . She is still in touch with me but says she doesn’t feel the same as she used to for me . She says I am still her family but not lover . What should I do ? How do I work things out and save this marriage . Please help.
Hi Agy,
Thank you for reaching out and I”m really sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how rough this all can be! I can help you and prepare you on how to resolve this. I invite you to schedule a session with me – http://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching
Once I receive the confirmation email, I’ll have you scheduled immediately. Time is important in this situation!
Best,
Coach N
Hey I’m Darrious
Me and my ex girlfriend broke up 3 months ago because i cheated and its been a very rocky and up and down situation. In the beginning stages I never implemented no contact and we were arguing consistently. I ended up losing a dear friend of mine during the process and said some very nasty things to her during an argument. And she blocked me on Facebook. I seemed therapy but even during the process I continued to reach out to her and her family and she threatened to get a restraining order, which never happened. Just recently she unblocked me and began sending me angry text messages telling me to move on and that she moved on and found someone else, screenshots from when we were together, and my friend tried to add her on fb. She re blocked me yesterday. I dont know where her head is at but I do know that if she had me blocked and she sent me screenshots she’s been stalking my facebook. So how long do I need to implement no contact and do I still have a chance to get her back?
Hi coach,
I’ve been with my girlfriend for more than 4 years. She lived with me.. this early August she work on different city, 10 days ago, we had a very bad fight and she suddenly said that she wants to be focus on her goals, wants to follow her ego, and said when she comes back she won’t go back to my parent’s house and want to leave me.. my first respon is try to get her back but things get worse so i decided to stop contact her on the same day.. yesterday, she texted me that she wants to meet me this Sunday but she keep saying to my friend that she’s done with me and don’t want to be with me anymore but want to keep communicate w/ me.. what can i do to make her change her mind? because i’m afraid of losing her.. please help.. thank you
Hi Allen,
Thank you for reaching out and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I feel like your best bet is to go to the meeting and try to re-attract her organically. If you need tips on how to achieve this successfully, I can help! I invite you to schedule a coaching session with me : http://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching
I hope to connect with you!
Best,
Coach N
Hi, I’m Alex from Peru. This is my story.
We meet at an online dates site last year around November, he sent me a birthday cake for my birthday and flowers for valentines. He went to Peru to see me for a week in april and in may I moved to the states to live with him and to study.
After 3 months i told him i loved him and he said he loved me too. We met his family and everything went well. But a month after that we have issues, he said he needed space and he needed to have some alone time, and we have constant arguments about it because i wanted to spend time with him, because in September i was going to Houston to keep studying for 4 months. 2 weeks ago a girl from work started texting him very flirty and kinda sexual, he told me about it, and i told him to put a stop in that. A week ago he broke up with me saying that he was not in love anymore but he still loves me a lot and care about me deeply. The same week we broke up, he and this girl from work start texting a lot and they had a date during the weekend, they kiss and hold hands (how do I know this? Because he told me), and at the same day, he came back home and had sex with me right after his date. I was so devastated that i booked a ticket to go back to peru to heal. He says that he will always love me and care about me and that he misses me. But i want to have a relationship with him, and he doesn’t want it. He says he and this girl from work are talking and going slow but idk
Hi Alex,
Thank you for reaching out. Your situation is complex, but I’m confident it can be turned around. If order for me to communicate a good game plan, I invite you to schedule a coaching session with me. please visit this link if you are interested : http://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching
Wishing you the very best,
Coach N
Hey my ex and i have been together for 5 years. He just broke up with me 3 weeks ago and started dating a new girl the night we broke up. He says he is happy and everything is good and he is falling in love with her. On his Facebook page he is posting depressing things and poems and a friend told me that he and his new girl are having problems. He texted me last night say now that I’m not near roxanne I want to say that I am very glad you are getting help and working on yourself. Could this mean my ex still cares and loves me?
My girlfriend and I had been dating for 10 months and she told me she loved me. She has two kids to someone else and she moved back home and we met 2 1/2 years after her son was born. I had a string of bad luck the last month. I was robbed, beaten, lost my unemployment so needless to say I was down in the dumps. She broke up with me and said we are on two different levels. How can she say that and a month later and then just cut me off. How can i make her miss me when she deleted me from social media. What can I do?
Hi I need advice so badly. My boyfriend and I dated for a year and a half. He broke up with me June 9 and started talking to someone 2 weeks afterwards. They just made it official on social networks that they are a couple. I love this man so much. I think our problems are able to be fixed and I want nothing more than to be with him. I have lost a lot of hope now that he and this girl are dating. Please please please someone give me advice. I’m so miserable and have no idea what to do.- Haley wiley
Hi my fiancé and I broke up 3 months ago because of religion (our wedding was supposed to be next month) we were together for 3.5 years and loved each other so much. Fear of family, resentment, and divorce were his concerns for ending things as it began to stress him more the closer we got to the wedding ex: fighting over the kids/ awkward family gatherings combining different faiths and disappointing each other’s families etc However I tried to make things work and I really want him back. He is trying to move on and we don’t talk anymore please help
I’m sitting here crying. I’ve never been so devastated and so depressed. My boyfriend broke up with me 3 months ago in the beginning of May after two years. We had a long-distance relationship and he’s a pilot. It was difficult enough to keep the relationship going but then a lot of tragedies happened. His daughter died I had surgery, I got sick I had two friends died and my job tanked. We are fighting a lot we have different political viewpoints he’s a liberal on conservative and we were fighting a lot about that. He sent me a text said he was dating someone locally and I should do the same. I was devastated. I tried the no contact but I did text him to get my stuff back I took him three months to send it back. We’ve had one or two conversation since the last conversation 3 weeks ago did not go well. There’s a lot of emotions and we ended up arguing. But he is seeing someone and I’m very afraid that it’s a serious relationship. The fact that he’s long-distance I feel so helpless that there’s nothing I can do to get him back. I sent him back a few things a week ago with no note in there and have not called him since or text him in about 3 weeks. I’m really scared and I’m losing him to this girl and I just don’t know what to do
Me and my ex boyfriend broke up on June 24th, I would always talk to him again after like 2 weeks of no contact, we’d hangout and everything was fine, he’d then change his mind again to not be together. I was being needy and rushing things in ways so I get that I needed to give him space. He acts very hot and cold towards me and I don’t know what that means. He’s also said multiple times he still loves and cares for me, to me and his friends so. We haven’t spoken in 10 days but I have a feeling he’s moving on and I am terrified. I was frustrated of him not making any effort anymore so I told him I was giving up on him, the next day he drunkingly messaged me saying he needed to come over and we needed to talk about things, I responded and then he just ignored me?! He’s the most stubborn person ever and I don’t think he’ll ever reach out to me again, I don’t want to lose my best friend please help. Love jay
Hi Coach Adrian,
I need your confirmation on how long should I use the Radio Silence.
My ex partner left me because he got back with his childhood ‘love’. We were together for 9 years and have a 2 year old kid.
The day after we broke up, I already started with No Contact. Though I respond positively and confidently whenever he contacts me about our kid. We never talked about ‘us’. After 30 days, I started reaching out. I just sent a text about the restaurant that reminded me of him. However, he only responded very short. Was the 30days too short for my situation? Please shed some light. Should I return to No Contact? Thank you so much!!!
Hi Coach Adrian,
I feel like my situation is a bit much in ways. My ex and I got together our junior year in high school and broke up twice in between junior and senior year. We became friends with benefits as I felt that was the only way I could keep him. After months of not being in a relationship with him and being friends with benefits, I found someone new. I told him I couldn’t see him anymore and about a week and a half later he told me he screwed up and wanted to be with me again. That was about 3.5 years ago. We had been off and on for over 6 years and just recently ended the relationship on August 12th. We lived together for almost 3 years and had a dog together. We were living together and his cousin was living with us since Sept 2016. His cousin and I didn’t get along very well and there was a lot of tension in the home due to that. We had a lot of fights because his family and I weren’t getting along and other issues as well. On August 3rd he had to travel out of state for his new job training and when he was coming home he messaged me on the 6th telling me we needed to talk. He got home late on the 6th so I didnt push him for conversation on what we needed to talk about and let him go to bed. We spoke the next day and had a 6 hour long talk. He expressed the things I did that he had a problem with and he spent the majority of the time talking about our internal happiness and wanted to know what I wanted out of life, what my goals were, and what made me happy. He put a lot into perspective that day. After our talk he decided that we could still be together and we had some work to do on our relationship but we were okay. We had a great rest of that day and then the rest of the week just felt odd. When I woke up in the morning I wasn’t sure if I should say good morning or just leave the room. I didn’t know if me going into the “man cave” while he was gaming to talk to him was okay. Things just felt off with him and it made me uncomfortable. On Saturday, August 12th, I went to take a shower and paused for a moment. I went into the man cave and asked him if he loved me. He said yes. I asked him what was wrong then and expressed how everything just felt so uncomfortable and weird. He said he wasn’t sure what was going on but he felt uncomfortable as well and he didn’t feel happier like he thought he would. He told me that after our talk on Monday that I had been absolutely perfect and he still wasn’t happy. I told him that we knew what our issues were and we both can work on them. I told him not to give up on me (having a feeling I knew how this was going to turn out) and that it would take him time to trust me again and know that the person I am now is here to stay. He told me that he was definitely afraid that I would revert back to fighting with his cousin and being controlling over my things, etc. I told him that he is worth it to me and that this isn’t me changing to be with him but it’s me changing me back to the person I was because I loved who I was and wasn’t very happy with the person I had become. I took my shower and changed while we spoke and didn’t feel a feeling of ease until I accepted the fact that our relationship, at this moment, was over. Once he ended it, I told him that “I am not crying or overreacting because I truly feel like you are my soulmate.” His response was “I’m glad you’re okay but please don’t sell yourself short of your happiness and hold back because of me. If you find someone else I want that for you so you can be happy. I dont want to feel as though we have to get back together”. In my eyes, our relationship ended on a decent note. He helped move me out that day even though all our pictures are still on the walls as well as a lot of my other things as I only packed the essentials. We made a plan that we would still watch Game of Thrones together so I saw him the next Monday. He seemed genuinely happy to see me. We spoke for awhile before watching the show and after the show was over, it was uncomfortable. I ended up hanging out for just a bit and went home. He messaged me as I was driving asking me to let him know I made it home safe. I got back to him about 20 minutes after getting home letting him know I was safe and he replied immediately saying thank you and have a good night. He messaged me first pretty much everyday after our breakup except for 2 days. Those 2 days we didn’t talk at all but he’d message me the next day saying good morning and checking up on me. Before I had moved out he let me know that on Sept 1st I’d have to fill out a form with our apartment complex to let them know we planned to leave on Sept 30th. So I called the office on the 29th and asked them if they could email it to me and I’d send it back completed. They sent it and I completed it. I got a message from my ex on Friday, Sept 1st with a very weird and long message about how he didnt know what form i signed and I shouldve given him a heads up I signed anything since everyone was on the lease. I sent the message to his cousin (his cousin and I are cool now, I guess) and his cousin told me that my ex was being ridiculous and stupid as my ex was thinking that I had signed their life away and gave the complex to drain their bank accounts or something. The message my ex sent made me livid. How could he think I would do something so ridiculous and malicious like that? Needless to say I didnt reply to his message. He sent me another text about 30 minutes later apologizing for the message, saying he had a bad day and he never should’ve sent it. My reply came a few hours later stating that I signed an Intention to Vacate form as he had told me to complete before I had left. And I said I was sorry he had a bad week. I was very calm and just to the point. He responded with a “ I apologize for my text, you are correct. Sorry that I sent that, I wasn’t in the right mindset.” I told him I accepted and appreciated his apology. I left work and got this really bad feeling in my gut that he wasn’t okay and I needed to reach out to him. I called him and he didn’t answer which I had prepped myself for. He messaged about an hour later asking if I was okay. I told him I just wanted to make sure he was okay. I didn’t get a reply. Now, it’s Saturday the 2nd and I let his cousin know I needed to stop by before 10am to get some things. I didn’t message my ex as we didn’t leave things on a good note the day before. I entered the apartment and found everyone in the man cave playing video games. My ex looked genuinely surprised and happy to see me. Made me feel good. I started packing up some things to take with me. I had to ask him where a certain item was so he could grab it for me. There was some flirting and some looks that took place during the time that he was helping me and it gave me hope. I had asked him how he was doing and if he was happier and he said he had a lot of mixed feelings lately and he hadn’t really figured out what they were or how to put them into words so we dropped it and I continued to pack. He and his cousin helped me load up my vehicle for me to leave. He went back to his game and I walked over to say bye. He said “oh, you’re not hanging out for a bit?” and I said no because all the stuff in the car and some of it could explode in the heat. He walked me to my car and we exchanged normal small talk and I left. We didn’t speak at all after that. I talked with his cousin yesterday letting him know that I would be coming over today to pick up my computer and decided to give my ex a heads up as well as I didn’t wanna surprise him like I did on Saturday. I had no expectation of him replying as we hadn’t spoken in 3 days however he did get back and offered to help me load up my vehicle if I needed him. I let him know the time I was coming by and he replied quickly. I got back to him this morning and we had been texting just normal chit chat. I was talking to his cousin this morning as well and I got a random message from the cousin stating that my ex had scheduled a dinner for himself and his cousin at the exact time that I was coming by. I felt hurt and frustrated and just not sure what to think. His cousin told me that he didn’t forget that I was coming by but he didn’t think that my ex scheduled the dinner at the exact time I would be over to be rude or anything like that.
To get to my point and my questions.. Is it worth it? I love him more than anything and I’m allowing us both time to grow as people and regain our internal happiness but after his crazy and not himself message on Friday to today he knows I need to come by and his cousin is supposed to help me and he still scheduled a dinner for the exact time I was supposed to come by.. Is it worth it? Does he love me? His cousin says he isn’t even close to being over our breakup and he still loves me but im not sure what to do at this point. Do I just give him space as I have been? Do I start trying to be fully happy with myself and find someone new? I need help because I don’t know what to do from here. Please help me. I feel so lost and so confused.
Hi coach Arian,
I’m very new to relationships and I’m really lost on what I should do next for my case since I’m in the military. The relationship was short lived ( 1 month) but I feel like I really didn’t get my chance to be with him longer when he said that his love of his life came through. He broke up with me once I popped up and found out about it. Yes, I’ve known about her but I didn’t know she would be coming back in his life like that. I’ve already messed up twice when I drop off his belongings and became physical with him before I left. I know its something I shouldn’t do but I don’t regret doing it and then I texting him again for that same thing a day or so afterwards. Since then I haven’t spoken to him and mainly focused on my work. He’s since seen my new look ( because I tend to change myself after a breakup) but I feel that I lost some leverage after being physical. I know I’ve done nothing wrong in the relationship but be a good gf. I’ve cooked, clean, took care of him when he was hurt or in trouble I doubt I deserve a break up but I feel like he’s running to her because she need him and I feel like he needs to take care of someone. What SHOULD I really do in this case. I don’t really want to lose him to a needy woman but when he told me he has no more feelings for me which baffled me when before he said he loved me. should I truly give up and move on???
I was in a relationship for 5 years and engaged.
My fiancé found some emails of me talking to other men
He broke everything off.
At first he would tell me he didn’t know what he wanted and needed time and space.
I then moved out. Haven’t talked to him in 3weeks.
I saw him today to pick up something I had left behind. He has a bag packed of things I had left and he said he is good. That he doesn’t want me in his life.
He is dating and talking to their girls.
Hi, i broke up with my bf we where together for 10 months but exclusive for 3 and i ended up in a fight, we have a long distance relationship and i tried to get back together once i calmed down but i said some hurtful things and now he doesnt call me he has been ignoring me for 2 weeks since we broke up and he told me he was confused, for how long should i contact him or wait for him to contact me?
So me and my boyfriend broke up again and we have a 2 year old son together. He says he’s sick of my attitude and that I’m a negative person but i know he’s just mad because I’ve done but mostly said some harsh things out of anger to him and its why he broke up with me. we haven’t really been talking lately but he does ask about his son. He is a very private life kind of guy and doesn’t talk to no one and not even his friends so i just wanna know what I can do to get him back and for him to remember who i truly am
So me and my girlfriend broke up for about a week and I was in a car accident and she had me stay at her house and she took care of me. I stayed there for about a week and 5 out of 7 days when we were laying in bed together she made out with me. And I told her that I was going to Colorado for a couple weeks and she broke down In tears. The day I left she didn’t cry in front of me but her mom told me she cried as soon as I left. Now I have been gone for about a week and the first 5 days she FaceTimed me and the one night she went to a party and FaceTimed me the whole time she was there and also said she really misses me and also told people she was my girlfriend. But now her messages have gotten slimmer and she hasn’t FaceTimed me herself but her best friend has FaceTimed me and put her on. Idk if she just doesn’t want to talk to me anymore? I really love this girl but she is confusing me on what she wants. She has also left all of our couple pics on her Facebook and Instagram but she blocked me on twitter. I really don’t know what to do.
Me and my boyfriend broke up because i was really drunk and told him the problems in the relationship were making me not sure if we should be together. The day after we broke up we met in person and i told him i wanted us to work it out and he rejected me and told me we were too opposites and he couldnt handle my ups and downs anymore. He was crying, kissed me, hugged me and watched me leave. The next day i tried to patch it up and asked him why he kissed me and his response was, you kissed me back. He hugged me a billion times and walked me to my car and continued the convo and hugged me alot. Called him two days later and he was mean to me. Called him 4 days later and he answered really quickly and was nice and apologized said he was upset before. Told me he wants to be friends but hasnt hmu since… and left for training in georgia for 3 months. Told me maybe after some space we can work it out but dont take his word for it. Deleted me on everything except fb, but i cant see his posts. How long should i wait to hit him up? Or wait for him to hit me up?
Hi DontKnow,
Thanks for your outreach. I would give the relationship space, let him miss you a bit. If you need guidance with how to get his attention the right way, I can help, and invite you to schedule a session with me.
Best,
Coach N.
My boyfriend and I after 14 years broke up and we’ve been living separate for the last year but we’ve been dating hanging out sleeping together then all of a sudden he told me he was in love with somebody else he still loved me and cared about me but he was in love with someone else now this someone else has found out that he was still seeing me and she’s broke it off with him and now he doesn’t want anything to do with me at all. Do we have any chance of getting back together I talked to her when they posted a picture on Facebook together. She didn’t have any idea that we were still seeing each other when she started seeing him
Hi Darlene,
Thanks for reaching out. I think your relationship needs some space. In a couple months, you can revisit it and it’ll be easier to communicate with hi. Don’t worry about the other girl.14 Years is hard to move on from – he won’t that easily.
Best, Coach N
Hello I am just touching base and hoping we discuss more about this plan of attack realy don’t want to share my dynamics online.
Hi Chris!
I’m Coach Nat, it’s nice to connect with you. Please visit this link if you’d like to schedule a session : http://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching
All the best!
Coach N
Hi Don!
If you want to connect with Adrian, you can find him here after selecting a session : http://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching
I hope this helps!
Coach N
Hey there i have a issue i need help with, i been broken up with my first love for more then ten years, we recently seen each other im single but she is in a relationship. I asked if she was married she said kind of but im not getting married, which i didnt understand that part specially if your claiming your some what married. But she seen me walking by and went out her way to acknowledge me when she didnt have to. She still beautiful which i couldn’t help not to tell her, i wanted to tell her how i really felt but couldn’t get it out. We exchanged numbers and she said it was ok to text her, i wanna know there is a good chance i can possibly get her back, do you think the signs are there not to mention i always think about her and dream about her..
Hi Leon!
It surely sounds to me like there an opportunity here. However, how you go about it will be critical. I invite you to schedule a coaching session with me – I’d love to help!
Best,
Coach N.
Hi Coach!
Me and my ex have been together for a year, we met while studying abroad. After 3 months appart (I came back to my home country at the other side of the world) we started having discussions over the probability of me being able to move to a same country in the short term via finding a job there, he suggested a month ago moving in together and did not feel “right” due to economic and legal issues leading to him feeling rejected…he was getting extra stressed and I felt like he was being negative and too shortsighted… sadly during a discussion I felt too overwhelmed and asked for a breakup (it was exactly a week ago). I inmedately regretted it and told him so, moreover, I asked several times over the following to days for him to reconsider and even agreed to some of his ideas under adjustments, still he said he doesn’t want the relationship. In addition, he is starting a new master’s degree in what he loves, meeting new people, therefore his life is filled with good things that might push me out of his mind or even meet someone else. I am feeling more than a little hopeless since the timing to solve “the big issue” is not in my control. Should I even implement radio silence? for how long?
Thanks a lot for all the advice!
Hi Maria,
Thanks for reaching out! Your situation is complex, and so I’d like to hear more about it. I invite you to schedule a coaching session with me. I’m here to help!
Best,
Coach N
Hello so I knew this guy two years ago when I was in high school. He was dating my best friend at the time but they broke up due to her cheating on him. However the guy I’m talking about became my boyfriend two years after this all happened. Him and I reconnected on snapchat. After that we started talking and he said I denied him when I was 17, which I did cause he was my best friends ex. So him and I start talking and he asked me out. We went on two dates and really clicked. He asked me to be his girlfriend the 2nd date and I liked him a lot so I said yes to him. Everything was going good until a month later. He started acting a little different when I got a job with his mom. His mom and I always talked durning work and she started to make me see the negative things in him. So then I started picking on the things he did like smoke and pick on the clothes he would wear. He always hung out with his friends, but when he was dating me he would pick me before anyone including his friends of 10 years. At this point him and I started fighting over little things like hanging out or me hanging with my best guy friend. So one night him and I were supposed to hangout when I got off work and I told him 6 and he thought 9 cause I always got out at 9. I got really upset with him and said we need to figure things out cause this isn’t working. He then acted scared and emotional and thought I broke up with him. I honestly wanted to work out better times for us to see each other. So after this happened I was very upset so I went to the movies with my best friend and and we took snapchats. I figured my boyfriend broke up with me, but I wanted to give him space so he was with his friends and I was with mine. He texts me when I’m at the movies and says were done. I then panic and call him and ask why. He doesn’t answer so then I text him after the movies and say well let me return your marine medal to you. He says to throw it away but I don’t. Then he eventually says just bring it, I’m at home. So I drive to his house and he comes out pissed and asked me how my date was. I was like I wasn’t on a date. Then he says whatever you’re not my girl anymore so I don’t care. I then give him his medal and he is standing there looking at me. I then want to talk and he gets upset and goes in his house. However he leaves the door wide open and is staring at the door just crying . So I walk up to him and say sorry about anything I did. He is crying and tells me to leave. He then changes his mind couple minutes and him and I go inside. I go to his room and we get ready to go to sleep, however we don’t kiss or hug or anything. He wakes up in the morning and tells me to leave. I’m so confused so I do. He says he wants to be single. A week goes by and he calls me when his in Vegas with his friends. He says he can’t have no fun cause I’m constantly on his mind. He then calls his mom and says he fucked up. So she tells him well then fix it. So he asks me to hangout when he gets back. We do and him and I talk about taking things slow and he says he really likes me and his sorry for the way he acted. I tell him that nothing happen with my friend and he says I know. So him and I were fine. The next weekend he ask me to come over I do and him and I spend time together. At this point he is even calling me babe. He then goes back on base and he was going to see me the night after. He texts me and tells me he misses me, however this all changes when he goes and see his friends. His at his friends house and texts me I wan’t to see you on 4th of july. So I said of course. Then I didn’t hear form him after a couple of texting back and fourth. So fourth of july comes and I text him to say happy 4th. He then ignores me and blocks me on social media. So I’m confused again. Months go by and I get a follow request from him on instagram. I ignore the request for 2 months and finally follow him back. He then starts liking every new picture I post. I then say hi to him on snapchat after requesting him. We have a simple casual convo. We asked about each other and what we have been up to. He then tells me goodnight cause he has to wake up at 4am. I then say okay wow thats early and tell him to text me if he wants the next day. I hear nothing from him the next day so I took it as a lost. Now I can’t seem to stop thinking of him. I feel though that I shouldn’t cause if he wanted to talk to me he would of texted back. He is in Missouri for training and is coming back in 2 weeks.
Please tell me if I should just move on. His mom always talks to me about him and says he asks about me. His mom is my boss.
Hello,
I was dating my partner for three years. We took some time apart for three months and got back in contact.we then started back talking like nothing changed but at first it was a little reluctance on my partner end. It was a lot involved when we first got back together like divorce and I did cheat. Despite all of those things we continued. We have been doing long distance for a good amount of our relationship mostly on my part. I tried to reasoning with the distance thing but I think that was a big part of us ending. Things started to change more in more this last time I left to go on a job like we started to talk less and I wasn’t needed anymore to go to sleep. Three weeks ago my partner broke up with me and became very angry with me. It was said due to not going over the past of me cheating some things that was done on my partners, distance and the exhaustion of fighting for us and overall. Over the three weeks I was still able to call and contact my ex but it was more of me trying everything I could to not lose. I could of made matters a little worse because it was hard to give space as needed and the reaction I got was she doesn’t talk to ex’s and she doesn’t know what I’m trying to do. It’s kind of confusing because I feel it’s another person keeping her company but even through my efforts of hitting my ex partner up I still got an I love you or I miss you. Before the break up marriage was on my ex partner mind but now my ex partner last said maybe we aren’t meant to be and that if things was going to work out they would have because we’ve been at it for three years. What should I do? I reasonly had to start over the no contact rule but I just feel it’s making my ex partner just grow further away from me and closer to the person that is keeping her company. What is some advice? I still am deeply in love and would do anything to fix this.
Hi SE,
Thanks for reaching out. Your situation is complex, and so I invite you to consider scheduling a coaching session with either Adrian or myself. We’re going to need to know a bit more before we can provide a plan.
Best,
Coach N.
Hello me and my ex been together 4 years just broke up 3 months ago and he is in another relationship me and him have no contact and im blocked on everything he called me once outta the hole three months at 2am and asked how i was doing
Hi Justine,
I’m sorry to hear about your breakup. I know it’s painful. Use his outreach as a way to kickstart communicating. If you need help with this, I can guide.
Best,
Coach Natalie
Good afternoon,
My ex and I were together for almost 3 months but she broke it off over text. Our relationship wasn’t bad at all, just some periods when it seemed a little stagnant/boring but she claimed that she can’t make me happy and that I can’t make her happy. She also said stuff like I’m a good guy, just not for her and that she isn’t the right one for me, etc. It’s been 3 weeks now and I haven’t contacted her since, but did send her a voice message right after she broke it off saying that it’ll take me time to get over this and that I think we can still be friends in the future. Idk what I should do now. Will she think that I’m actually completely over her since I’m doing NC? I’m just afraid that she’ll start dating other guys and forget about me since our relationship wasn’t too long. Before the breakup we didn’t see each other for a week too. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks!
Hi JO,
Thanks for reaching out and I’m sorry to hear about this stressful situation. I know how frustrating it is. I have just the thing for you : https://www.withmyexagain.com/product/short-term-relationship/
I think you’ll have all the info you need in there
Let me know what you think!
Best,
Natalie
Hi me and my ex boyfiend broke up just over 5 weeks ago, after being together for 3 and a half years. i didn’t expect it to happen at all, we had an argument the night we broke up I broke up with him initially but it was out of anger and I realised I shouldn’t have broke it off after 2 days I spoke to me ex and explained i didn’t mean it and how i did it out of anger and he said I did the right thing and that he didn’t think we should try and get back together and he worried that we would get back together and just have the same argument futher down the line and endup hurting eachother again we didn’t speak for a few days I did try a few times to reach out to him he did reply but seemed angry we didn’t speak for another week but During this time he was liking my pictures and post on facebook and we decided to meet up 2 weeks later he just said that he wanted to meet up with me to end things in a nice way and that he didn’t want to get back together simply because he didn’t want to be in a relationship I got upset and he was cuddling me and holding my hand and just said I was for the best and was apologising for the way things had turned out he suggested that we still be friends but I just said I couldn’t as It would be to painfull for me, I started the no contact about a week ago and he sent me a message yesterday just sharing and image of a new pan he got and said jokingly i was right that the pans we had werent any good and that he finaly got a new one i don’t understand why he would share that with me or reach out to me.
Hi,
So me and my ex dated for 3 months and within that time period we broke up 3 times (3rd break up was our last).
I followed the no contact rule for 2 months over the summer and from what I hear through mutual friends is that she is over me. Her close friends tell me that she doesn’t to focus on boys this school year and that she just wants to focus on school. It was her birthday a couple days ago and that was the first time I texted her since our break up. (She broke up with me through text) I texted her saying happy birthday and I sent her a song that I wrote for her. I first started writing the song when we were together so she already knew about it. She told me that she really liked and thought that it was beautiful. Her friends told me that she listens to it everyday and that she said it helps her relax and calm down. Her best friend told me that she said “he always knows how to make me smile”. When her best friend told me that I felt really happy and hopeful that maybe we still have a chance. But everytime I see her around school she seems to avoid me. She doesn’t even look at me anymore. Some of my close friends are also good friends with her too so we got together one day and just hung out as a group. My close friend (who also hung out with us that day) told me that she didn’t want to do any of that. Her friends told me that she herself said during the no-contact period that there was no future for us. She knows that I’m still recovering from depression that I’ve been battling for 3 years and she says to me that she is there for me but she never even talks to me. I think she wants to help me recover but doesn’t want to get too close. I’ve done everything to try to improve myself in hopes that I get better and hopefully impress her enough to win her back one day.
Have I completely lost her?
What do the signals that I talked about mean?
Could it be possible that she doesn’t want to be around me because she knows that she will begin to like me again?
Coach Natalie, My break up was a messy bad break up. We were together for 2.5 years and lived together for 22 months. I left living with her because of interference from her daughter who moved back in with us and feeling like my ex was not being respectful to me anymore. We went counseling and thought things were going great but after a weekend she went away with a few of her friends I noticed a change in her and asked if something happened or is wrong? She said no. But she also indicated that she had an afterwork event on a Friday night which I thought was odd. I asked her outright if that’s where she was really going and she said yes but my gut knew she was lying. On that Thursday before I asked her again and knew in my heart she was lying. I went to her house that Thursday night when she was sleeping and did something I had never did. I went in her phone and discovered she was planning on meeting a man that I later found out she had seen years ago for dinner. we had a big fight and it led me to have an emotional breakdown where I cried in front of her for 5 hours the next day where she vowed she would make it up to me for the rest of her life. However my depression became so bad that I argued with her that night and felt suicidal over the fact that it made me relive the same trauma I went through with my ex wife. I spent the next to weeks begging and pleading for her to show me remorse which never came. She took out a temporary restraining order which I was never served with but apparently ended on October 18. I have sent her a few texts in between the end of our break up in early September and now but to no avail. I was so angry that I wrote a facebook post exposing for what she had gone through in life to make her so cold and that she was attempting to cheat on me and it was seen by many of her friends and family. She says she has nothing but contempt for me now. The last message I sent her was on October 17 via text where I said I still Love her and always will. I have not contacted her for 3 days now but saw her out with a new man last Saturday night at a bar She did nod at me and I mouthed a hello silently with my lips towards her which she acknowledged even with this new man and I handled the night calmly.. I feel there is no hope even though I love her and acted out out of severe depression and PTSD that I was diagnosed with by my therapist because what she attempted to do by cheating caused. What is your advice on no contact now and is there any hope or is this over?
Hi TESE,
Thanks for reaching out with your story. I’m sorry to hear about all of this. In reality, I feel you should consider stepping away from the relationship for a long time. You both need to heal. It’s the only way you’ll reset. I invite you to schedule a session with me if you’d like to discuss in detail.
I’d love to help.
Best,
Natalie
Thank you for reaching out to me in regards to my story Coach Natalie. So in essence you are saying that it looks beyond repair. When you say to me a long time. What soecificically do you mean? 6 months a year? I’d appreciate a quick response and I will consider your coaching.
Thanks again Joe aka Theeverseeingeye.
My ex and I have been together 6 years. We have 2 children together and he broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. And he told me he wasn’t in love with me that he has love for me, he told me that he wasn’t emotionally involved in the relationship and haven’t been for awhile. He said we broke up because I was controlling, I would yell at him, say hurtful things, we would argue about money he was the only one working for a year, that I would undermine what he would say, that I needed to acknowledge that he was the man of the house and the decision maker and he told me I was mouthy and he hated that i wouldn’t listen to him. That I would go against what he said. He told me he was talking to someone else and that he has feelings for her. I was wondering how long I needed to do the no contact rule?. And if I could possibly get him back?
My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me 4 weeks ago unexpectedly and the reason he gave was he was unhappy. It was unexpected because we had plans to celebrate his birthday and after numerous calls the day of after he was running late and eventually never showed; which he has never done, when I confronted him about him not showing he gave the excuse of not being able to let go of somethings that happened 2 years ago. I knew it was BS and an excuse. I haven’t contacted him in any way since then, but I am still in love with him. He has contacted me once via text, but just gave a one word answer. Is there still hope?
Hi Slav,
Thanks for reaching out and I’m really sorry to hear about your current situation – I know that it can feel really painful when you aren’t aligned in values. I think that if you want her back, you should let her miss you, and realize all that you contribute. If you want to develop a strategy together to turn this around, I invite you to schedule a session with me, I’d love to help.
Best,
Coach Natalie
Me and my ex where together 5.5 years we’ve been broke up since my lil girl was a month in a half now she’s 6 months and I have not seen them in 5.5 months and I truly miss my family and I want them back I talk to her periodically but what should I do she tells me we’ll never be together again and I admit I haven’t done much or been much of a father to my daughter but I truly love my child and her mother she tells me shit like I dont love her because I wont do anything for my child but I do we like 3 hrs apart so I dont go down there everyday idk what to do or where too start.
SOMEBODY PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE!!!!
Hi Chad,
Thanks for reaching out – I’m really sorry to hear about this situation. I invite you to spend time reflecting on what you’d have to do differently (on a consistent basis) that will rectify this relationship. Until you’ve made those changes, it’ll be hard for her to let you back in. I have faith in your situation, but it needs TLC.
If you need help, Coach Adrian or I would love to coach you.
Best,
Natalie
Hi I would really appreciate it if anyone can give me some advice.
So Im 22 and I met this guy, 23, this summer at the end of my vacation and we went out 3times in the 4 days left that I was there. He drew a painting of one my photos on instagram and he told me that he loves me really soon. (I thought that saying he loves me too soon is not a good sign) but then as time went by I started falling for him. While I was away we would text all the time (2 times a day because there is a 12 hours difference between where I am and where he is) and also we started video calling a lot and he would just stare at the camera and I could see love in his eyes.
Everything was good until once when we were supposed to video call but I slept in and he had already left home so I called his cell phone. when he picked up the first time I did not introduce myself and he said wrong number, so I called again and I told him” my love its me” and then he again said wrong number. (my phone number would not show up on his phone so he had no idea i would call). so after I talked to him and he said his parents were in the car and my voice was on speaker, he did not get mad at me and he said it happened so what ever. after a couple days he got cold and colder, I asked him many times for a week what is going on. He would say nothing and THEN i remember it all happened after that phone call. so then I asked him did your parents say something, and he finally said yes, and they told him that he is still young and he is dreaming. (his parents probably acted this way because I don’t live in the same place as him). Also in my culture, there are still some parents that when they find out their son has a gf it means marriage! I think they scared him off or something.
he was cold and cold, then we got into a fight, i broke up and blocked him for 5 min and then I noticed what i did was immature. He then deleted me from instagram but he would respond to my messages. he said lets take a break to see if you can wait for me to figure out my future job and studies and that it might take 4-5 years. I agreed and after 5 days I sent him a song and I told him that its enough for a break. he messaged me saying he doesn’t want to break up so we got back together but he was still cold.
after a couple days, he said he would call me the next day but he never did. I messaged him a couple days after and he didn’t even see my messages UNTIL i called him a couple times!!!
and I was like wtf? and he said he is sorry like 10 times
and that we will talk about it later
and I asked a couple more time why is this happening. he wouldn’t tell me.
so i told him that Im gonna give him space but talk to me if you need a friend to talk to and then he said thanks, I love you, bye.
WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS GUY?
also one last thing, I messaged his friend after 10 days of not talking to him to see if he knows whats going on and HE DID NOT TELL HIS BEST FRIEND ABOUT THE BREAK UP OR ANYTHING ABOUT OUR ARGUMENTS!!!
HELP!!!!
i love this guy and I don’t know if he is playing with me 🙁
Hi!!
Thanks for reaching out and I’m sorry to hear about all of this. I invite you to really spend time assessing how you two got here. What would have to be different in order for it to work? Its in these answers that you can turn this around.
Best,
Natalie
Me and my ex were in relationship from a year …..first time he left me for his friends without telling me…..then he come back to me after 2 month later …..in that two month I didn’t even imagine that he will come back to me…. Then he told me that he was not feeling happy without me….then we come back in relationship again….but we breakup after 5 months later because my parents and his parents wants….we just breakup for our family..even our parents blackmail to both of us…now he said that he don’t love me anymore …but my heart is not going to accept it…..and he blked me from fb and insta…but his brother told me he still loves me…..and one day my ex was jokingly said for patch up…
I just want to know about his feelings for me? He is still single…and when I asked him that if he is finding new gf he said that I don’t want any new girl in his life…
Hi Ladli,
Thanks for reaching out – it seems like he certainly still has feelings for you, but if he’s able to break up often, his respect for you (a very big thing to consider!) is more so what’s in question.
Best,
Natalie
Hlo dear
I just want him back in my life… I don’t want to loose him…..I just want to know his feelings?? But how can I know….when we were in relationship I said him many time for breakup…but he always say that he can’t live without me ….and when I said him that he can found a new gf so he replayed me that he would like to be single and even said that he don’t want anyone rather than me in his life….but now he is saying to our friends that he hate me…but I don’t believe this…I just want to know his feelings…can I ever get him back
Hi,
So I did the no contact rule on my ex who at the time was just causal. I reached out to him after a month and it was positive vibes from him. It even led us to being together and him tell me he loved me. But after a few months he ghosted me. So again, went back to no contact for a month. I tried adding him on Facebook when the month passed and he ended up texting me the next morning. We’ve been in hanging out the last few weeks and the last time we hung out he told me he meant it when he said he loved me. He said he had commitment issues and it had him thinking about us so he thought it was best for the both of us not to talk to each other anymore. He apologized for it and told me he wants me to be in his life but now I’ve noticed him being very distant with me this week. Will no contact work a third time? He could possibly be seeing someone else. I know that it is hard for people to lose feelings right away and this could possibly be his way of trying to get over me. It took us a long time to build that connection we had and he said he trust me so I know it is silly for me to think he can built a connection with someone new so quickly but things can happen and I assume that he can and might connect with someone new because it’s new and fun. So should I do no contact a third time? Or give him space to reach until he reaches out to me?
I want to do the one to one coaching but I need to know if it’s worth it.
We were together for 4years and we have a one year old. It has been a miserable relationship for over a year. I broke it off three months ago but we’re still living together it became nasty and evil arguments all the time. In the last month something changed and we started becoming loving and touchy felt together we are still living together he held me every night up until 6 days ago saying he loved me so much I said am sorry and I miss him and I want him back so badly. HE now in 6 days has said we will never get back together and moved into the other room. I have cried I have pleaded and I’ve got angry and shouted basically down everything wrong when I saw he was on a dating website and is texting a girl all the time and infront of me as well. He thought I went on a date the other night I went out but I actually went out with the girls to the cinema !! I got back he said just be honest i know u went on a date but I don’t care am glad as itl get u Over this jealousy quickly as ure so jealous. so now he is going to a random town hours away to stay with a woman for a night ?? he laughed when I said this is a new relationship he said clearly not. What is going on? Iam so confused and this is killing me. Does he still love me or is he pure evil and hurtful and is basically cracking on with women …I can’t do that cos I love him still how can he how can he say he loved me 6 days ago and now be like this it’s doesn’t make sense, plus I can’t do no contact cos of our child ? Please help
5 months. I tried to call it off a dozen times and felt bad. I got busy with a 3rd job and got mean in texts. Sensitive girl. The last time was too harsh. She ended it. I went to her place 2 days later. Talked. She tried bringing me back in. Changed her mind. I came over again that weekend and opened her up again. Then she shut down and said when she’s done shes done and it was a long conversation till i said i accept its over and left. No contact since then for 5 or 6 weeks now. She appears to have blocked and unblocked me about 7 times
My ex and I broke up two months ago, after a 6 1/2 year relationship. He said that I wasn’t making him happy anymore and that he didn’t want to be with anybody right now. One reason why we broke up is because my mental health had gotten really bad, and I was too emotionally dependent on him, when one of the things that attracted him to me was how independent I was. He told me a few weeks ago that he “only cares for me as a friend” now, and that he doesn’t know if we’re going to get back together in the future because he doesn’t want to date anyone.
We started sleeping together again recently, and he had told me before that, that he had made a tinder to make friends and possibly a friend with benefits. It was very out of character for him, but he told me that he really just wanted to sleep with me but was afraid to ask since we’re not together anymore. I told him that I was okay with it, as long as I’m the only one.
I’ve been changing a lot since he broke up with me. I’ve lost weight (I’ve always had issues with being overweight), I’ve been more active, and I’ve been changing my entire mindset so that I can be a better person. I did it for myself mostly, but also so that he would want to be with me again. He comes over usually once a week, but sometimes he gets grouchy if I ask him if he wants me to make him dinner or if he would like to spend time with me. It’s almost like he’s trying really hard to be single, and is pushing me away.
I know that he still loves me. He does small things like keeps everything I ever bought him (even tiny stuff like a silly bracelet with a robot on it, and stuffed Pokemon), he keeps a few pairs of my sunglasses in his car, he offers to buy me food on the way to drop our dog off at my new apartment, and other little things like that. He’s not someone who does things just to be nice, so it makes me think that he does still want to be with me, even if he doesn’t say it. I’ve been a mess since we broke up and I want to be with him again, but all I seem to do is think about him and call him too much.
I’ve recently seperated from a woman that I was in love with for 4 years. I felt she was no longer interested in our relationship so I asked her to come retrieve her property but I had gotten angry that she failed to contact me when her and her daughter went on a trip.i really didn’t want her to come retrieve her property I was just hurt and disappointed. She’s recently moved in with her girlfriend who hates men both have same tattoos and piercing. Could this possibly be a realationship.?she said she loves me but said I hope the rest of ur life is full and happy. Never said full of love. We haven’t spoken in a month. I really love her and need her in my life. What should I do. Hurting
Hi, about a month and a week ago me and my ex got into a huge fight and he said he couldn’t do it anymore. We argue a lot and never really communicate and sit down and solve our problems & he just couldn’t deal with it anymore and broke up with me. We had a long distance relationship only about an hour or 2 apart. He talked to me everyday after the breakup like normal which confused me until one day he just stopped contacting me and acted like I wasn’t even here. He told me the days he talked to me after the breakup that he still cared about me and that he wasn’t gone forever yet now he doesn’t talk to me anymore so isn’t he gone? But I just started no contact & im really afraid it isn’t gonna work and I’m not quite sure what my first approach should be when NC is up. I would love to have him back and to work on things since I’m gonna be moving closer to him. Please help me on what to do?!! There is nobody else in this world that I want. I have no clue if he is seeing someone new. Thank You!!
My wife left abruptly three months ago after eighteen years, claiming mental/emotional abuse. Our marriage wasn’t perfect, and I take accountability for my part. But even she is starting to admit she took some things wrong. At any rate, she started to talking “romantically” to a male online friend two days after she left and within a week had plans to meet him (hasn’t happened yet, though they are still talking). In the meantime, she recently started a potential relationship with another guy (who she did go and pick up and bring to her house, though nothing happened because one of our children was there), and from what I understand she is open to entertaining interest from other guys.
We have been very intimate for a few weeks during this time also (oddly enough, after eighteen years of not being interested in fellatio – yes, she did it maybe a dozen times, but certainly without enthusiasm – she seemed to spontaneously develop an outriggt PASSION for it, as well as an interest in BDSM, temporarily), as well as I was there for her the week of her Mom’s birthday (the first since she passed away in March), and she has told me that she doesn’t want to lose me as a friend (the night she left she told me, “I don’t want to be married to you anymore. I’ve been thinking about cheating on you. But I don’t want to lose you as my best friend.” ?), and once even, “I hope I fall back in love with you.” She constantly randomly remarks that she’s confused, and tells me she’s not looking for a relationship, just fun.
Thoughts?
Me and my gf have been separated for 6 days now. We’ve been together for 7 and we’ve broken up before but this time it’s way different. She didn’t necessarily block me from social media but more like blocked me from certain content. Just last night she posted a picture on snapchat of her laying around in my sweater. She swore up and down that this was needed for a couple months until I finally cracked and walked away. I’m trying no contact and it’s been about 4 of the 6 days mentioned. I had bought a ring weeks prior to walking away because I know she’s the one. What do I do?
I’m going to keep mine brief because I am truly hurt and my break up is fresh,so I’ve been with my boyfriend for 11 months now,we started off with a spiritual connection before intimacy,he once made me feel loved,wanted and someone he wanted to marry,so after the loss/termination of our baby three months ago i started to notice the disconnect from him…He made me feel unattractive to him and my self esteem has gotten so low…we had gotten into a huge argument for the first time in our relationship the day after my birthday two months ago but we worked it out so i thought,he hasn’t been back but a few times after but we agreed on making this work and he texted me everyday checking on me and saying that he loves me still then a few days ago i pulled up on him at the gas station by our house and he had a girl in the car…We got into it but i kept calm and didn’t say things out of spite i just stated that i can’t believe he’s doing me like this…All the while he was saying to me in front of everyone we knew and the girl that we weren’t together anymore,I don’t get by now,how long has it been since he messed with me all that..But he was just texting me the night before that he loves me and misses me and that he was going to come over but he did’t show…But i pulled up on him the next day and he did this to me….Should I just move forward with my life even though I love him sooo deep???I Haven’t been responding to his texts or calls,I want to change my number…He still hasn’t came and got his things from my house either we were building a life together so yes we were living together,I’m so confused…
He moved to California for a job, I live in Florida we would visit each other every 2 months and it was working out okay. We took a vacation to Puerto Rico came back and he broke up with me he says that he’s not sure if I’m the one. We still talk to each other almost every day via text but he says he has a friend we broke up in July
Hi my name is Taylor I’ve been in a relationship for 3 years and 4 months . I lived with him for 2 years we lived with his grandparents as they took me in bc I didn’t get along with my mom. Well anyway last Friday we were arguing all day and he finally said I’m done I’m no longer in a relationship I started crying pleading him not to bc I’m deeply in love with him he then immediately started acting cold towards me saying mean things didn’t want to try to make things worst then posted on social media a picture that quoted “when your 100% over a relationship” and under the picture he put all these mean things about me making seem like I was a terrible person. So I then moved back to my moms crying my eyes out none stop just wishing I could have him back i even wrote on a piece of paper pleading for him to take me make saying that I would do anything and that maybe just space would help us . I told him later that day in a text that I have a letter to give him that I wrote from the bottom of my heart he didn’t say anything. Because I was so hurt and so attached to him as being my first bf my first everything i became obsessed what looking at his social media . The day after he broke up with me a girl dm me on Instagram sending me a screen shot of there Convo it said hey stranger the girl told me to get my man or if he is that she was trying to help I then sent him the screenshot saying how could u already talk to girls im crying over u and your not even sad ? Then she sends me another one of him saying it’s funny you do that we been broken up for 3 days now you got her all in her feelings and ur the one who wanted my Instagram you was touchy touchy In the back of my Lyft my bf ex bf is a Lyft driver . I was so devastated when I seen that . Bc I questioned that girl before too when I seen they added each other back in September . It makes me think of what other messed up things went on in the Lyft that he didn’t tell me about . Im also seeing him like girls pictures that I would always question him about . I always had vibes . His reason for leaving me was because he said he wouldn’t have enough time for me because of his dream to become a basketball player meanwhile I’ve been supporting him this whole time so I argued to him that can’t be the reason so he’d come up with more and more reasons but it seems to me the real reason is that he couldn’t be committed he couldn’t help himself to all the other girls he would be picking up drunk late at night coming from parties. Despite all this pain he put me in know matter how bad everyone tells me he doesn’t deserve me this and that deep down in side I’m still very much in love with him and feel like I cannot live without him please please help me try to be with him again I know my faults and I know his he just has to be willing to change like me . He has recently sent me a text saying hope all is well keep your head up have a great day and liked my picture so do u think there’s a possibility that we can be happy like we once were ? Thank you so much for taking your time to read my long message I appreciate it .
I have been with my girlfriend and year same sex relationship! We were perfect and something happened that had her of Work and really down! I have been trying to support her and the other day I messaged her saying if things weren’t working out to end it she did! She said her head was all over the place and she needed to be alone.. I haven’t really left her alone at he moment and I went up today and said sorry for things I had said to her and she gave me a dirty look when I walked in but today I deleted everything I had her on so I can’t see anything she is doing going I’m gonna go with the no contact but I do have stuff in her house and don’t know how long to do the no contact with her! I don’t want the relationship to be over and love her to death can someone please help me with a bit of information on a way to go about this
Hi Jane,
Thanks for reaching out – it seems to me like she needs some time and get herself together. Try giving her space and then revisit the situation at a later date.
Best,
Hello me and .y ex have been together almost 3 years we have twin babies who are almost 2. Just almost 2 weeks ago we got into a arguement and he completely did a 360 and acted like he diesnt care about me, does not call or text. Just plain acts like he doesnt care. He has said he doesnt want to be a family man anymore and i have heard that he is already been seen with someone. I just dont know what to do. Is he really over me that quick. He says the relationship was going no where for a long time. Its just weird that he completely turned his feelings off for me. I am very hurt and suffering. We had problems for 2 months prior and seperated so he lived with a family member because work was hard for him where i live. I just dont know what this is. Has he completely moved on
Hi Tanya,
He certainly hasn’t moved on – but I do feel this to be a good opportunity to focus on you for a few weeks. Use this as a breather. Once you’ve recollected, I invite you to reach out.
Be strong,
Natalie
Hi, coach Natalie could I get some feedback? Somebody give me some feedback please!!!
It’s been 5 weeks of no contact and I just texted him last night. I just sent out a text saying that I was packing my things & I found something that he asked for when we were together, that I thought I gave to him a long time ago, his 1st reply was 2 question marks, so I kind of elaborated on what the text said and he instantly replied “k”, but I didn’t see his msg until the next day b/c I turned my phone off and went to sleep. So that was our conversation, I’m just glad that he replied & it wasn’t with a negative response because had this been a month ago he definitely wouldn’t have replied. So what’s next? How long should I wait begore reaching out again & what should I say? Please help me coach Natalie
Hi Candy,
Thanks for reaching out – I would consider writing a handwritten letter (to send in a couple weeks) really taking accountability for your role in the breakup. Without knowing more context, I can’t provide a tailored guide.
I hope this helps,
Nat
Hi my name is Sabrina me and my ex been dating for about 1 year and since we broke up we never talked. We see each other at my work place we walk pass each other and I catch him starring at me or im starring at him sometimes we just stare then look away. I caught him last time with his face being red i just want to know what does this mean, i don’t understand it I don’t know what signal its giving me
Hello. My ex and I were together foe 2.5 years. We lived together, had a little puppy family together, and was really in love with each other. 6 months into our relationship she physically and emotionally cheated in me but I forgave her cause it never happened again. Unfourtantly, this caused me to want revenge in hopes that it would make me feel better. So I physically cheated also and was texting ladies. I only had sexual relations with 1 lady the rest were just messages. (Which doesn’t make it any better) anyways, after a couple of times of seeing these messages she decided to end things. She couldn’t trust me. We had our whole life planned out and everything. I’ve been going to counseling for my issues since May but we’ve only been broken up since September. I was too late. We have joint custody of our dog cause I couldn’t bring him to my new place. She’s nice then mean and then nice again. It’s confusing. Like, she’s scared to be nice cause she loves me and wants to get back together but doesn’t at the same time cause she doesn’t think I can tell the truth. How can I prove i have changed amd willing to do anything for her? I’ve never felt like this for another human being in my entire life. We had a bond like no other.
Hi Matt,
With your situation, just make sure to give her a lot of time. It’s very hard to overcome the struggles you two are dealing with. However, it’s still very possible. I encourage you to give her some room, continue focussing on yourself and on change, and the rest will fall into place.
Best,
Nat
Hey there,
Me and my sweet boyfriend of 8 months broke up a few days ago. We were so happy and had so much fun with each other but things outside of the relationship got stressful and he needed more alone time…its how he dealt with stress. I am totally opposite and love talking about everything. I’d try to always talk about emotional topics and often turn to him with my issues while he had been dealing with a lot outside of us. He finally had enough and broke up with me saying he can’t deal with the nonsense and he is over it and i need to more independent. He’s acting a way he has never acted before and im trying not to lose hope in the relationship. I was convinced he was the one for me. Any advice? We see each other in 4 classes a week so no contact is hard..very hard.
So me and my ex boyfriend were together for 3 years and 1 month we had a good relationship together the whole point of why we broke up is because I said I would leave him for someone else if I had the chance , he told me what if he told me that how would I react I told him mad but I would get over it because he’s with me and no one else and we decided to be friends and fix things that way and well 3 weeks passed and I still didn’t see him tell me that he wants me back then I gave up and said we shouldn’t be friends anymore and that he didn’t love me at all an he said he wishes me the best and that it wasn’t true , then he said I deserve the best and he wants me to be happy and whoever the next lucky guy is better know I’m worth and to not settle for anything less and I told him my views changed and I deserve the best and he said that he doesn’t think anyone would hold him down like I did and I’m very beautiful an have a nice personality then we said good bye then 1 month later I realized I missed him an I love him so much and I want to fight for him so I texted him to see how he was doing an he said alright I said the same and I told him if we can go out one day get something to eat he said he would let me know and then I asked him if he had someone else he said no and asked me to and I said no and then I told him if I can get another chance he said he gave me a chance already then I told him how I felt he said he didn’t feel that way anymore and that there’s no going back and then he didn’t answer any of my texts he told me to stop please and I kept texting him he said he doesn’t owe me an explanation to anything I feel that he doesn’t want me back and his friend also asked him would you give selena another chance he said he doesn’t want a relationship with me or anyone right now or anytime soon and his friend told me that I should take it as a sign to move on and that my ex also told him that he doesn’t want to see me
I was with my ex for just about 8 years. We broke up because we would work on ourselves to become better people for each other. Ive continued to live with her while being broken up but we still acted as if we were a couple. Everything was as if we had the title of being a couple but the title wasnt official. Within the last month shes cut all physical ties with me. She is now dating someone else-who is moving in the next month-and still tells me that she can see herself with me in the future. I’m scared to let this go because we have planned a future together but now its suddenly got taken away. Is this new girl she is dating a rebound? Is she keeping me around because she knows what we can have together?
I’m emotionally and mentally drained because I cant see the outcome that this will have…is my ex playing me?
I have been dating my ex for two years now..we had a serious relationship but he was always so cold towards me and actually was dating my cousin but because I loved him I told him to not rush in making the right choice..quite recently we had issues of me always lying a lot to him but we sorted it out always and again he found out I had slept with two other guys at his back..now he left me saying there’s no way we’ll get back though I begged him a trillion times but he’s so caring even now and wants to help take care of me but still stands on his decision of getting back with me..what do I do
Hello my ex and I recently broke up. He explained why. We dated a couple of months. We were happy most of the time. There were things that concerned me and I noticed why he was distant. He had family and friend problems, a lot on his mind. He didn’t want me to feel neglected. I told him it was fine. I was worried for him.
He explained why. He cared about me alot and didn’t want to risk hurting me because ehe was going through something. That he needed to be alone. I told him I was willing to be there and wait for him that wasn’t a good reason to end things. He said no I shouldn’t we went back and forth. At some point we broke up. But I said I’m waiting for him for a while. We were both crying. He told me if I’m still around and he was better we could try again. Now we work together and he is distany people told me he was said and upset about the break up. When I say hello he quietly responds back but doesn’t look at me fully. When he loOKs at me it with an unreadable face. So I am confused. He acts normal with everyone else. But I feel shut out. I don’t know what to do.
Hello At,
I invite you to give her some space and do some personal development as she can see your actions change. Be the one she first feel in love with. Be positive, and confident.
Hope this helps!
Best,
Coach Natalie
Hello Erin,
Thank you for your comment. I believe you should do some self-reflection here and ask yourself is this a good man? Also, is this a good man for you? To have in your life?
At this time in encourage you to give him some space and work on yourself.
Hope this helps!
Best,
Coach Natalie
Mike,
Thank you for your comment. Your communication is still open and she seems to be open to a future with you. Also, your situation is unique as you live together and have children. I highly encourage you to reach out to us with a coaching session as this is time sensative and you want to be sure you make the right moves only moving forward. We want to helo you get your relationship back, we are here for you. I hope to hear from you soon! https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
Best,
Coach Adrian
Hello Crystal,
Thank you for your comment. I invite you to take some time out and spend some time with yourself. Even though he hasnt contacted you I would encourage the no contact as it seems he may have been taken you for granted. Moving forward I would suggest for him to only make the first move if he wants to see you. If you feel called to we are available to discuss the relationship further in context. https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Rosy,
Thank you for your comment. I know these times can be difficult.I invite you to do no contact for 6 weeks and keep this up even if he reaches out. Focus on yourself, do new things, workout alot, and maybe do something that your passionate about. Show the new and improved Rosy. Its important he sees what he is missing Stay positive. Please feel free to reach out to us for a private session if you woul dlike to get a tailored game plan. https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello VS,
Thank you for your comment. I have just the thing for you! https://www.withmyexagain.com/ebooks/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Serena,
Thank you for your comment. I know these questions and comments can leave you seraching for answers which explains why you feel this way. At this moment I would encourage you to continue the NC and really focus on you. Maybe think of ways you can grow from this, so if and when he comes back he sees a different Serena.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Brian,
Thank you for your comment. Because of the length of the comment I would invite you to a coaching session so we can guide you towards your goal. https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Dp,
Thank you for your comment. I would suggest to do no contact for 6 weeks.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Kayla,
Thank you for your comment. I invite you to a private coaching session or for you to look into this Ebook so you can get further guidance. https://www.withmyexagain.com/ebooks/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hi, my boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 months only, he broke up with me a week ago. He had a new job shortly after we started dating and was all the time busy working. He had very little time and effort for me, I started complaining about it and he was apologizing but he didn’t exert any extra effort to make it better. He used to tell me that he always felt guilty but I said that I could understand and I’d support him. One day I told him that I’m tired, he apologized then I said goodnight. We had a break for about two days then we were in contact with each other again but he told me that he doesn’t want to continue. I asked him to meet up for the last time to discuss everything but he refused saying that it’s pointless. It’s been one week now with absolutely no contact and I really miss him and I don’t know what to do to get him back. Thanks
Hello Mira,
Thank you for your comment. I would give him some space for now and spend time with your friends. Show him you are trying to move forward by possibly posting things on social media and wait till he reaches out again. Keep up with the no contact.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Louise,
Thank you for your comment. I invite you to ask yourself a couple self-reflection questions. What is it that he adds value to your life that you cannot? Also, is this a good man for you?
I invite you to keep up with the no contact for 6 weeks and give him space.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Brandon,
Thank you for your comment. At this point, I would suggest for you to give her some space. I would work on a no-contact period for 3-6 weeks and show her that you are moving on by being more social, positive, and confident. If you do this, she may slowly come back, and I encourage you to start off as friends.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Divya,
Thank you for your comment. It’s hard for me to give you the correct advice without knowing the context of the relationship through a private coaching session. It seems like you ex wants you in his life as he still thinks about you and keeps up to date through social media. I invite you to read our Ebook as this may help. https://www.withmyexagain.com/ebooks/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Cat,
I know this time can be very difficult but I invite you to just focus on you and the baby at the moment. I am not sure if this is a rebound relationship if its been ongoing. What I invite you to do is just be strong as I know right now can be tough and be happy with your baby, then ask yourself some self-reflection questions about this relationship. Is this truly a relationship you deserve? Do you think that he is a good man for you? Once the baby is born continue to focus on your growth.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Nicole,
At this point I would give him some space and the key here is to not apologize when you talk again. Also, make sure you show him change through your actions. So, analyze the relationship and see where things went wrong. Establishing a friendship after a little bit of no contact and self discovery would possibly help your situation.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Josh,
I invite you to try new things with her. When you see her take her somewhere new and be a little flirty. Once you do this give her space and then if she does not reciprocate take her somewhere else that she would like to see or do.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Nic,
It seems like this relationship can be healed. If she felt neglected its because you probably weren’t emotionally open with her as you should have been, so NC would not be something we recommend. I have something that will help you move forward if you follow through with the EBook and read all of it. Also, if you feel called to work with us please reach out as we would love to help you get to your goal.
https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
https://www.withmyexagain.com/ebooks/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello MrDupri,
I would suggest for you to take the time to try new things and keep your mind occupied at the moment. The way you will get her attention is through growth and change in actions. Showing that you are taking time to focus on you and not lose control with your emotions will be a gret step!
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Jose,
In this situation I would have to know the full context of the relationship through a coaching session. It seems to me there was a disconnect in the relationship. I believe its best to keep supporting the kids and focusing on you. Once you do this make sure you stay upbeat and confident throughout this process. https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Shelly,
At this moment I would reflect on the anger that you have and see where this is coming from. Concentrating on everything else is just going to fume your anger more. What I recommend doing is making sure you spend this time to concentrate on you with self-reflection and personal development. Have little communication with him during this time then come back and realign your values and boundaries. If you do this, you have to make sure you stick to them as well.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hi Joe,
I encourage you to keep up with the no contact. We have a lot of videos on YouTube our channel is Love Advice TV that give you advice and support you during this time.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Amanda,
I am not 100% what this means as it could mean plenty of things. I would check in with yourself and see show you feel about getting back with your ex.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Johanna,
At this moment I believe the best thing to do is continue to give your ex some space and go into no contact for 4-6 weeks . During the NC take some time to do some self-reflection on the relationship and yourself so you can show some change. He may reach out to you during this time but its important you follow through with NC to do some personal development as this will show through actions the next time you see him.
Here is something that may help. https://www.withmyexagain.com/product/the-reset-method/
Best,
WMEA Team
Me and my ex broke up in June of 2017 we are expecting two kid together we have one year old son and I’m pregnant now. We was still messing around with each other but he never showed any signs that he still love and etc. I’m lost on how to handle it because I want my family back
Hello Kj,
I would recommend for you to set some boundaries between you and him. Possibly not being intimate will help. Focusing on you and being social with friends will also get his attention.
Please reach out to us so we can talk to you about the dynamics of the relationship and help you to move forward. https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Jeana,
Without the dynamics of the relationship its hard for me to give you tailored advice. I would reflect on the relationship and see if it can be stable for the future. Depending on the reasoning behind not spending the holidays together can be something to reflect on. Give him time and yourself time. I would suggest to be patient and figure out if this is a relationship you want as I am sure you don’t want to move in with insecurities.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Maria,
I will do some self-reflection on if this man is a good man for you? Depending on if his name was on the lease and taking the necessary actions to get him off the lease would be a good way to start. I think he stayed as there was accountability in his name. If not, then he is doing this to control your outcome.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Layla,
Here is something that will help. https://www.withmyexagain.com/product/the-reset-method/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Sonu,
I know right now can be difficult and confusing. Make sure you give her space and time to figure things out for herself. Also, take the time to focus on you. Be social, workout etc. Establish a friendship with her and show her change. I think if you focus on you and also show her your independence through actions things have a possibility to workout.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Had,
If you havent tried no contact I invitee you to do this. We have a lot of videos about this on our YouTube channel Love Advice TV.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hi, Mr. Adrian. My name is Mahran Ghasb. A Syrian. it is the first time i try to contact a specialist in this field but i really need your help. Please send me a message so that i can make sure i am able to contact you soon. Thanks in advance.
Hello Mahran,
Thank you for your comment. You can reach out to me here to schedule a coaching session by phone or email. Looking forward to it! https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Vicky,
I suggest for you to wait until he responds. You left it in his hands and he will respond to you in time. Also, take this time to reflect on the relationship and what will be best for you in the future.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Jessica,
It seems as though it can be possible since you have a family together. I invite you to reach out to us through a coaching session so we can guide you to move forward.
https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
https://www.withmyexagain.com/product/the-reset-method/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hey ,
Thank you in advance for any advice! My gf of 2 years broke up with me about a month ago. I’m 28 ( working full time etc ) and she is 20 (studying full time). Until recently the relationship was going well, we travelled together , survived a short spell of LDR , did couples stuff etc. But once she started her University our time together suffered alot , with her wanting to spend more of her time with her new friends etc. At first I understood that it’s is pretty much how it should be until time together started suffering even more. I started feeling like I was the only one working for it and ended up acting needy and insecure. Arguments started to happen more frequently , and I brought up the fact that may be having a break might be better couple of times ( which was never actioned mainly because she always defused the situation). But the situation didn’t get better, and once after two days of back to back arguments she ended up breaking up with me . I agreed and took it calmly and we ended up the conversation telling each other how wired it feels and how much it feels like we would still call each other tomorrow etc. Out last sentences on that day were ” I love you and I love you too “.
Day after it hit me quite hard and I called her back asking if she really want to go with this . She said Yes and that she need to be happy independently, and focus on herself and studying without being in a serious relationship. I didn’t protest. And we agreed we shouldn’t see each other etc. And she also said not to keep hope of getting back together either.
I wanted to give her some space and work on my issues etc. But ended up wishing her for Christmast (she spent it with family) which she didn’t reply to. But after 2 weeks or so when she was back I asked if she want to meet up for a coffe, which she replied to saying let’s talk on the phone that evening. Also she apologised for not replying back for early message saying she forgot it after reading. We spoke on the phone that day like normal with family stuff , her days at home etc. She said May be we can go for coffee after her uni holidays are done because she wanted to get back to her studying for exams etc. Next day I messaged her once and got a very neutral short worded message back. After I messaged her for new years eve ( 3 days later ) which she replied to almost at the end of the day. In none of these situations I asked her to get back together or about the relationship ( Although I wanted to). At the same time I couldn’t understand if she was just being polite. So I didn’t want to push anything either.
I thought I’ll give her some time, so form 1st of January I went on NC ( we are still on each other social media and both keeps tabs on each other’s Instagram stores etc). Although during this one month time she removed her self from any wtsapp groups we were in together , removed my pictures from her Instagram and never tried to contact me etc. But yesterday she changed one of her profile picturss twice ,1st time to a picture when she was out of country and second time to a picture of her when we were on holiday together( 3 monthes ago). I took the picture myself and we even had a funny conversation about it.
I know it might mean nothing, but this feels to me like she is indirectly trying to contact me (knowing that inwill see the change). I’m confused,I pretty much want to get back together, and I’m have understood why we broke up and has being working on my issues. But I don’t want to push it too much and stress her. So , I’m not sure if I should keep the NC and message her in a week or two ( I’m going on solo traveling this weekend) or if I should contact her now and try to rebuild. Knowing her a bit I’m pretty much sure she would not contact me first or that any other parties are involved in the break up. Could you please give me an advice?I would be really grateful!
Hello Diazhane,
Focusing on you right now is the way to attract him back. I would go into no contact for about 4 weeks and only speak to him about the child or children. Then socialize a bit, workout, and change your look. When doing this make sure you stay positive and confident. Please feel free to reach out to us if you need any more guidance. https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello KellyP,
I invite you to take some time to spend with yourself. Do things you love and do things that make you happy. Incorporate NC and socialize with friends. This will get your ex attention. Also, during this time reflect on the relationship so you can set boundaries for the future.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello J,
Let the process take its course. No Contact is not only to get your ex back but also time for you to do some reflection on the relationship. https://www.withmyexagain.com/guides/no-contact-rule/
If you need any guidance on this relationship please reach out to us. https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hey, I have been with my wife 18 years married 4 with 3 lovely children I have had the bombshell drop on me 1st day of the new year that she no longer wishes to be with me. I have been a heavy drinker for many years on and off even to the point I bacame aggressive in the early years.we have been though many arguments and break ups where by I slip back into pushing her away and not listening (there has been no physical aggression for many years) we broke up 1 time before which was the only major break up which she instigated with a Co worker of mine, we split for around 6 months and wanted each other so bad that we reconsidered the relationship again. I soon went back to my old ways of drinking and not treating her like her own person. Pretty much the same as I was doing before ultimately afraid I would lose her and my family again. Now since the recent break up again this was mainly my contribution I am obviously mortified for her not myself, yes I spent the first couple of day reeling in self pity, aside from this I have now had the realization in which I have let her down in her expectations of me as a family member. Since the split I have been back and forth being a better person for me and currently said what I needed to say to my wife and left it there to concentrate a bit on me and the children at the moment. I have resided myself to the fact it could end up in a final divorce. I am aware me or her do not want this and can only do my best in terms of offering long term of the radar change to my character to get myself back to our first dates scenario. I would be keen on more advice from husbands and wives that perhaps have been in a similar situation and have come though the opposite end all good.
Meant to add the majority of the time we had problems was due to the drinking heavily on my part which I have taken the steps to not drink anymore and enjoy life without the devils fuel.
Thank you
Hello,
I know this can be incredibly difficult, but I want to commend you for taking ownership of your drinking. Here are a couple of suggestions. Think about what you are passionate about or what you like. Let’s say you like basketball for example. Try to coach a little league team or if you like horses go horseback riding. (these are all examples) You want to show her through actions that you are taking the necessary steps to avoid drinking and also shift your mindset. Focusing on the kids and being positive and confident around will help. This process takes time and its a step by step process. I encourage you to reach out to use so we can help you get there. I have a link to our coaching session and also attached our Reset Method that will help.
https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
https://www.withmyexagain.com/product/the-reset-method/
Best,
WMEA Team
My wife and I have been together for 6.5 years. 3 children. She told me 5 weeks ago she wants a divorce. I was devastate. She filed and is looks for a house. Then she says after a week she still wants me to fix it and we can be together in that house. This goes on for two weeks. Then one day, two weeks ago, she grows cold, tells me to stop trying. Her mind is made up. We’re like ghosts now. She talks to be about the house and and warmed up some but she won’t even put her arm on me. She has hugged me a few times but no longer tells me she loves me. We were always so all over each other and now, nothing. It’s so hard to see her and not reach out to hold her. It’s killing me.
Hello Ryon,
I know this time can be difficult and we are here to support. I encourage you to reach out to us so we can help you get back to the place you need to be with your wife. I cannot give you advice without the context of the relationship and this would have to be done through a coaching session. We hope to hear from you soon! https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Nicole,
You ex can only keep up with this relationship for a certain amount of time until she finds herself even more miserable. What I would do is take her out to new places every time. Ask her out on a date and make sure its something new every time. Once you do this then make sure its reciprocated from her. This will be a great start.
Best,
WMEA Team
good day,
me and my ex broke up because i had a lot of controle i know where she was how she was what she was always and i was verry jalause and allot little irritations we had for a year and 2 months i had contact when she sayd she whanted some time and now i am blokked everywhere when can we have contact again she broke up with me 1 moth before christmas and i had no contact sins end december i asked my sister how she was doing and she told me she was asking how i was sometimes 2 like i was doing when wil she contact me agian u think i am 19 and she wil get 18 in 2 months
Hello Tiffany,
It seems as though he is going through a lot of life changing moments. I would not always be available for him and show him you are being proactive with your life and not immediately available for him. I think as time progresses you will have a chance at the relationship again.
Best,
WMEA Team
My bf and I just broke up 2 days ago. We’ve known each other for 3 years and have been together exclusively for 2 years. It was great up until August. He bought a house and needed a roommate. We were in the car on the way to dinner with his parents when a phone call came through with a girls name that I recognized from a few notifications in the past on his phone.. no biggie I don’t let things like that bug me and I’ve noticed messages from her before with no issue. But, He hurried and shut the call off and when I asked what that sound was he said it must have been a twitter notification. I didn’t want to ruin dinner so I brought it up after. He said it was an old friend that was a girl that was interested in being his roommate. He said he didn’t want to mention it to me bc if it didn’t go through he didn’t want me to be upset over it for no reason, since it was a potential female roommate. I told him that if you are honest I have no reason to be upset and I just wanted honesty. A few weeks go by and he was acting a bit strange with his phone. He left his phone home and went to the store. I shouldn’t have but I looked and noticed he has changed her name in his phone to a guy name and put her text on do not disturb. I read the messages and they were totally innocent and talking about the roommate situation. I wasn’t upset with the contents of the message but again I was furious that he lied. I also looked at his old Facebook messages and realized that they had once had a short fling and have had sex before. It took him a while to admit it (because I didn’t outright tell him I knew that) and said he just didn’t want me to get upset over something that didn’t matter as he wasn’t interested in her anymore and they’ve been friends now for a few years. My trust was crushed and I couldn’t ever stop myself from checking his phone. He continued to try and put her on do not disturb and/or not answering phone or texts when she contacted him in front of me. I saw once that they hung out and he tried to hide that from me too. The messages clearly stated that she was just coming over to purchase something he was selling and that he couldn’t have company long bc he had to go to bed early for work. Everything that I ever found in the phone was innocent but the fact that he lied over and over really tore me up. He kept telling me I had nothing to worry about and that she was just a friend. These lies made me very insecure in my relationship and I became clingy and needy and it effected our sex life. I was upset that we were having sex less often but he said that it was because I was always mean to him and it made him not in the mood. It was a vicious cycle. I am not concerned that he ever had sex with her since we’ve been together bc I am practically there everyday and we call each other often. This has been a vicious cycle for a while and although he hadn’t lied for a while to my knowledge I was still reacting to it. I even saw that they hadn’t texted in over a month. I saw a message with another girl friend of his where he was asking for relationship advice for the both of us, so I know he was interested in making me happy and saving this relationship with an outside prospective. We got into a big fight last week because she had text him again and he denied it for 30 minutes. Literally all she asked was how his holidays were and how he made out in the snow storm. I was very upset that he lied about it and took it out on him all weekend. He said he was tired of the constant nagging and hysteria and he needed space and time to think for a few days. I didn’t respect his need for space because on day 2, I was going to be in his area (he lives an hour away). I messaged him and said that I am in the area and if he’d like to talk I’ll be available in a couple hours. He didn’t respond until about the time I would’ve been ready to chat 2 hours later. He was on his way home from work when he texted that he still wasn’t ready to talk. I was literally on his street driving by when he said that. I had no intentions on “stalking” him as I knew he wouldn’t be home. I went the long way and I passed his house on the way home. I went the long way past his house to avoid tolls so that I wouldn’t have to pay tolls twice in the event I was halfway home and he said he would talk. When I drove past his house an unknown car was in front and his living room lights were on. I freaked out and called him. He didn’t answer so I texted and asked who was at his house. He said he didn’t know and yelled at me for “stalking” him then the lights turned off. I explained that wasn’t my intent but once I saw the car I got upset. He sent me a long text breaking up with me telling me it’s really over this time because it will never get better and it’s not worth it anymore and blocked my number. I waited until he got home (he had his roommate leave he door unlocked for her before he left for work). And I ran into his garage like a crazy person when he pulled up. He didn’t see me at first. I’ve never felt so upset and angry and have never acted that way before. I ran upstairs to find her just to tell her to leave. She hid in a room with the door locked. I was there for hours arguing with him. He claimed she was over to talk about our relationship and give advice. I don’t buy it and I am furious. He said he was going to reach out to me the next day to talk about everything bc he was feeling like he wanted to work it out again. But when I “stalked” him he lost any intention to do that. He was very defensive and angry during this whole 4 hour argument. I finally left and took everything I had there. I had to leave the house of the one I love with the girl who ruined our relationship inside. I understand that I was being crazy but it was because I couldn’t bother being lied to any longer. I just wanted honesty. Why couldn’t we all hang out together? I’m so frustrated. He is a very nice person and has kept positive and tried making this work but not actually fixing the issue at hand. He said some really mean things that night and I know a lot of it was out of anger and embarrassment bc of how I was acting while she was there. He blocked my phone number and Snapchat. He deleted me from Facebook but has not blocked me. I haven’t emailed or Facebook messaged him or had any other contact since (almost 48 hours) and I plan to continue to do so for at least 30 days. He treated me so well and was always so positive up until my incessant nagging over these issues. I hope after a few weeks he realizes what he did and tries to fix it. I’m not sure if I’ll be interested in that after a few weeks but an apology would be nice at the very least.
Hi,
Me and my ex were together for almost two years. We got into a huge fight on New Years Eve because he wanted to go to a party and insisted that I just stay home alone while he goes out. I packed my stuff and left him, the next day he told me that he saw how easy it was for me to leave him and that he realized we hadn’t been good for a while. I tried to work things out and he told me he just needed some time apart because he wasn’t sure if we were really meant to be together. So I left him alone for a while but then I decided to fight for him. He was going through a really tough time due to the death of his father. He is also very stressed out because he isn’t sure what career path he wants to go down. I told him I was there for him and I understood that he was depressed and that he could have as much space as he wanted and I would be there for him when he needed me. We spent a few days together and it was great. He was calling me sweet names again and telling me he loved me and asking me to spend the night with him. He told me that he had never lost the butterflies he gets when he speaks to me. Then out of no where he texts me and says that he is sorry but he cannot do this anymore. He said he wanted time and space. He told me he would always love me and be there for me but he didn’t think we should be together. Later that night he texted one of my friends to see how I was doing and she told him that she was confused about what was going on with him. He proceeded to tell her that he “fell out of love with me”. So I decided that I could not fight for someone who just straight up didn’t want to be with me and wasn’t in love with me. He texted me about a week ago and said that he was happy that I was doing good and that he was happy for me and the guy he thought I was talking to. He also asked another one of my friends how I was doing. He quit his job and moved back to where he lived when he was in high school and now does not work. He just drives around with his friends all night and lives with his grandma. I am just really confused on what this all means. He says he loves me but tells my friend he fell out of love with me. We were together for two years and he all of the sudden decides we aren’t right for each other after we spent months thinking about our future together. What does all of this mean?
Hello Katie,
It seems as though he may be starting to take you for granted but also figuring his life out at the moment. Have you tried no contact? I would encourage you to do no contact for 4 weeks and he will reach out to you during this time. Its important he sees that you aren’t available for him like you use to be.
Best,
WMEA Team
Thank you for your response. I believe you are right. I did 60 days no contact and he started texting and calling, then he has fallen off again. I have started the no contact again.
Thank you for your advise!
Hey my girlfriend broke up with me this September of 2017.We were together for 4 years . As she went to work abroad,she only then decided this relationship became all of a sudden toxic harming her very much both personally
as well professionally (have no idea about the latter one). I had invested so much in this relationship both money and time wise. I ended up being very hurt and feeling worthless and isolated.I sunk into depression and got into a very painful cycle of obsession recycling the same thoughts about her being with someone else. That thought was really killing me as it was the most sensitive issue for me following our break up. Overall she decided not to give any further explanation as to why she decided to break up with me until this day, not even the obvious one being about the distance.However at first she couldn’t completely block me entirely off social media.The first couple of months she was mostly responsive, giving me mixed messages about what she feels about me but at the end always ended up negating getting back together.It was a severe torture for me.She didn’t want to talk to me on the phone but just via messages .Over a period of 4 months no matter how often I would send her messages repetitive questions about whether she has been with someone else she replied to almost every single of my requests-no matter how frequent they were-denying any sort of accusations. Almost every single of our conversations ended up in serious arguments and threats.A month (October) after our break up she still wanted to see me and seemed to be very happy about it.However the very next day she became furious about our night out which was only an encounter as friends, claiming it made it extremely difficult for her to get over me.She very recently stopped responding to my messages and showing much less affection than at first.As this is only my second relationship I am wondering whether: a) what are the chances of her having been with someone else even as a rebound and b) what are the chances of me getting back with her. P.S: shortly before she announced that she wanted to break up with me (in late September), she urged me to sleep with another girl threatening she would break up with me if I didn’t (yeah, you read it well).
My ex (I guess) of 7 months broke up with me (I guess) just before New Years. She lives in Montreal and I live in Washington DC. I Met her at the mall she worked at during one of my overnights. (I’m a flight Attendant) When we were getting to know each other she told me she had been hurt by her ex and hasn’t been in a relationship for a few years since him because she doesn’t trust easily. And doesn’t want that feel that pain anymore. But we instantly hit it off. We meshed very well. Got along great. I met her close friends who she sees as her extended family. We told each other about our up bringing. She told me about personal things about her parents. And she even took me to her best friends grave site. And that meant a LOT to me because she shared something that she held so close to her heart with me. Things started getting pretty serious soon after that
A few months later we were telling each other we love each other. We were planning to move in together and start a family and get married eventually. Everything was great. Well she went away to the Islands to take care of personal things in October and she came back 2 days after Thanksgiving. And during the holiday season it’s very hard for me to travel and I explained this before she left. She said it was ok and nothing would change. Still during this time we video chat and text everyday and everything was cool. But late December I say I’m finally able to come back to see you after New Years. She says her friend from Miami was coming up to see her on that day and she would let me know what she was gonna do. She then mentions that she’s on Tinder and looking to move to Miami jokingly. And I say “wait you’re on tinder” and she just says “yeah”. I say “well what about us”? And she goes “ we’re not together, I never promised you anything and I don’t want to be in a relationship” and that HURT me. So then like she normally does when we have problems she gets off the phone and texts me. Saying she loves me but isn’t in love with me and her mental illness (BPD) is the reason she doesn’t want to date. And I show her all the texts saying that she loved me, missed me, I’m one of the few things that makes her happy, marry her and come live with her, etc. She begins to start saying her mental illness (BPD) is preventing her from being a “normal person” and she tends to hurt people because of her illness. I reply like I normally do when she says that. “I don’t care about you being not normal. I’m in love with you and want to be with you no matter what”. Then I say “if you really trying to protect why haven’t you just blocked me?” That pisses her off even more. She then says “wow ok” and she then ignores me for 2 days.
With no word on what I did wrong or why she all of a sudden doesn’t want to be with me I keep asking her why is she acting like this and what’s going on. She then says she doesn’t want to talk to me or see me anymore and blocks me on what’s app. (We used what’s app because of international texting/data). So then I text her actual number. And she just starts saying a bunch of mean and nasty things. Not like her at all. I don’t give into to it and respond with nothing but respect and love type messages. And like I said she never says anything like this in person. It’s always through text. I was still holding out hope that she still loves me and wants to be with me. She has mentioned that she’s 32 and doesn’t have a family or is married yet and said she gets nervous when I’m not there because she think she may get hurt. I’m thinking she’s afraid that we’re not going to make because of where we live and we haven’t been able to see each other because it’s hard to travel during holiday season. I also think she’s being mean and nasty on purpose hoping I’ll give up or respond in the same manner and make it easier for her to separate herself from me
I text her this past Friday, for the first time in a little over a week. The message was read and ignored. She unfriended me today on FB. I haven’t text her again to see if she blocked my number yet. I want to go up there and see her in person to finally get answers on what happened and why she change her mind so quick. Again she isn’t mean like this in person so maybe she’ll come back around if she sees me in person? I’m 28, this is my first love and I’ve been taking it extremely hard. I treated her like a queen that she deserves to be treated like. I don’t want to give up, that’s not who I am, but I don’t want to seem like a stalker either. I know this is long but please somebody help if you can. 😔
hi so my ex and I were engaged and we started drifting apart he was lieing to me. he was depressed with his job and got to the point where we were fighting we have kids together and I said we need time apart so he could find himself again plus I was hurting with the lies he had told me. so we separated he was wanting me back everyday for 4months then when I felt that we were ready he told me he was done with me and then I found out a few days later he was seeing someone else. he has slowly over last few weeks cutting me off. I’m still in love with him and would love to show him just how happy I can make him. he now only txts or rings if he wanting something. he is all about his new girlfriend. how can I make him realise that I’m the one for him. please help me
hi so my ex and I were together for 3 and a half years and it was great we had a lot of ups and downs but we always turned a negative into a positive. we were in love. we have a child together and we were engaged. then I started catching him out with a few lies they wernt a major but the trust was broken and trust is a big thing for me. anyway with his job he started drifting away from me he was depressed coz of his job. we starting fighting he just lost who he was. I thought it be good for both of us to separate and we did for four months the hole time he was wanting me back but I wasn’t ready but then when I was ready he moved on to someone else they have been seeing each other for nearly three weeks now. its hard but im focusing on my kids. he no longer txt or call unless he wants something. I’m still in love with him and I no where I went wrong in our relationship and just wish he would see that we are ment to be. i need some advice on what I should do to get his attation again and make him fall in love with me again. please help
Well me and my ex were having a rough time i was going through allot and I isolated my myself and we agreed on space 2 weeks passed by and i felt better but i waa waiting on her to feel better cause i didnt know how she felt yet so i waited a month passed by then 2 more weeks i was devestated and sad i made the first move cause i was like shes not gonna is she she dumped me through text saying i wasnt whats best for her anymore i said sorry and tried my hardest asking can we talk this out but she said theres nothing to talk about and cried and left a week later she was with somone else and made a spam account always spamming about her new man how she loves him how hes perfect cute etc and sometimes even sexual i was so jealous it was private but 4 of my closest friends follow that account and she knows them very well i told them everything and she knows they would tell me it’s constantly always about him and him its bin almost 5 months since ther together but i realized something the profile picture it was a pair of shoes me and her had she had white laces and i had black and i gave her one of mine and she gave me her and i told her just look at this whem ur down this is a part of me that can always be with you because i know i cant always be there no matter what and it made me wonder out of everything why that couldnt u choose u and ur man or just u or something else and before that i saw her wear my clothing shirts I passed down with feeling cause she loved wearing my clothes last time i saw her wear one was November it made me think wow you still have my clothes knowing you have tons and beautiful clothes too why my shirts i assumed she would give me my stuff back and all the bears and stuff i made for her even the 4 foot bear but she didnt and im wondering if she misses me and i can win her back she says she doesnt wanna lead me on , on october last time we talked and always spams about him i get so jealous i wrote her a paragraph not so long ago saying i love u so much i never stop thinking about u and etc and i told her as much as it hurts me i want u to be happy even if its not with me she said im glad you got that off ur chest and said what u needed to say i was kinda happy but then she spammed about him once more is she trying to make me jealous get my attention? Do i have a shot what can i do please help me i want her back so much we were on and off for 3 years how can she be so much happier with him
I also need help from the standpoint and perspective is she trying to make me jealous is she finally over me this happened before i waited 6 months she said she hurt me on purpose and etc but i forgave her but to me it seems different she wasnt as sexual with the last guy she was flirty saying things like hes so cute when hes asleep 😍 but now its just him and him on her spam account like i get it its a spam but its always him she always saying i love him hes so cute and the comments is what get me how they are towards each other she didnt even do this with me and i was her first time and first love she was in love with as was i i hope she comes back idk what else to do
Hi, me and my ex was together for 4 months and then I broke it up because I didn’t know what I wanted at the time. Last year he start talking to me again and we eventually started hanging more and seeing maybe we can get together. We were doing good until a few months ago and I found out he started talking to somebody else as well and that he also really like this person more than he likes me and he also that he is comfortable with us being just friends for the moment. I really want to get together and I still a tiny bit hope that we can so like is there any possible recommendations on what I can do?
Hello PJ,
Here is something that will help you with the step by step process. https://www.withmyexagain.com/product/how-to-get-him-back/
Best,
WMEA Team
My guy asked me for space and I of course scared said no. This resulted in us breaking up and he asked me to not contact him which has hurt me greatly but I have been doing well. This has included no contact with any mutual friends and family. He was going through a divorce and has kids and I bought and remodeled a house we were togetehr for almost two years. It was a terrible situation of stress and pressure and I became very irritable and irrational in my thinking. I began to not appreciate and resent things and him even though I didn’t truly feel this way. I was overreacting to everything out of fear.
We were extremely deeply connected and think it means something special. What is the appropriate amount of time and strategy for communication eventually? I have tons of his things in my house, large items like tools etc. which he has not requested back. I have also not received my things back. I am not overly concerned about this but as your literature states we do need to meet as fresh people. Not the people that started to become insane due to all the stress and going through the divorce and the house remodel. Please help!
Hello Scarlet,
In order for me to give you the exact advice tailored to your situation I would have to speak with you through a private coaching session. I do think that giving each other space is vital to the relationship and reconciliation. Take the time to reflect and change what habits occurred in the relationship and turn them around through actions when you hear from your ex again.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hi,
My ex and I were together for 8 months 11 months of speaking every day.
We broke up because I was not long out of a marriage and I wanted to move slowly, he wanted to move fast. He was all in. We had a massive fight over New Years because I didn’t come home from a party with my friends and he felt I wasn’t spending enough time with him. He was so angry I blocked him so I wouldn’t get the mean texts. I ended it, but the next day I realised I want to be with him, am willing to give a little more. But he said it was too late. That was a month ago, there was crying and begging from me and hot and cold from him.
I attempted no contact for 8 days, he reached out, he was happy to hear from me and noticed I’d changed my name back to my maiden name finally, noticed is taken a long time to reply.
The next day I texted and he was cold again.
I’m back in no contact. I’m not sure it’s right cuz the problem was that I would shut him down in the first place. We haven’t even seen eachother since the break up. Struggling to use the space in a positive way.
o
Well me and my ex were having a rough time i was going through allot and I isolated my myself and we agreed on space 2 weeks passed by and i felt better but i waa waiting on her to feel better cause i didnt know how she felt yet so i waited a month passed by then 2 more weeks i was devestated and sad i made the first move cause i was like shes not gonna is she she dumped me through text saying i wasnt whats best for her anymore i said sorry and tried my hardest asking can we talk this out but she said theres nothing to talk about and cried and left a week later she was with somone else and made a spam account always spamming about her new man how she loves him how hes perfect cute etc and sometimes even sexual i was so jealous it was private but 4 of my closest friends follow that account and she knows them very well i told them everything and she knows they would tell me it’s constantly always about him and him its bin almost 5 months since ther together but i realized something the profile picture it was a pair of shoes me and her had she had white laces and i had black and i gave her one of mine and she gave me her and i told her just look at this whem ur down this is a part of me that can always be with you because i know i cant always be there no matter what and it made me wonder out of everything why that couldnt u choose u and ur man or just u or something else and before that i saw her wear my clothing shirts I passed down with feeling cause she loved wearing my clothes last time i saw her wear one was November it made me think wow you still have my clothes knowing you have tons and beautiful clothes too why my shirts i assumed she would give me my stuff back and all the bears and stuff i made for her even the 4 foot bear but she didnt and im wondering if she misses me and i can win her back she says she doesnt wanna lead me on , on october last time we talked and always spams about him i get so jealous i wrote her a paragraph not so long ago saying i love u so much i never stop thinking about u and etc and i told her as much as it hurts me i want u to be happy even if its not with me she said im glad you got that off ur chest and said what u needed to say i was kinda happy but then she spammed about him once more is she trying to make me jealous get my attention? Do i have a shot what can i do please help me i want her back so much we were on and off for 3 years how can she be so much happier with him
My ex and I were together for 4 years. She had a 3 year old when I met her. I worked on the road doing construction and was away for most of our relationship. I would get time to come home about once a month for about 4 days. She never did like it. We got ingaged about a year and a half ago. She never wanted to talk about plans for the weeding. And it became an argument. I cheated on her for about 4 months. While that was going on my ex got pregnant with our son. Then found out about me cheating. It was ugly. I ended up moving home and got a job so I could try to work things out. A year later she said she was done. And just wanted us to co-parent our kids. I tried everything but having no contact is hard because of the kids. I don’t know what else to do. We are going to co parent counseling and that is ok. But she doesn’t want to talk about us. I get the kids every other weekend and I don’t want to lose her. Please help. I hope that is enough information to see what I need to do.
Christopher,
I know right now you will not want to hear this but it will be the best advice for you now. I know its difficult as there is a lot of healing that needs to be done in this relationship. The main thing you need to focus on is you and the kids. Work on yourself and give her space. She will see a transition in your actions if you turn this around into personal development.
If you need tailored advice we are here. https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
Best,
WMEA Team
So my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years we broke up 3 days ago and so about a week ago he started hanging out with this other girl we’ll turns out this girl is going through a divorce and she has a child and the baby daddy lives with them. Well he’s been hanging around her he broke up with me over text and then pulls the “I need some space to do me” crap while he’s over there’s hanging out with this new chick. I really do love him and I’m not currently speaking to him but he’s called me and texted me. This morning he texted me accusing me of hacking his tinder at 2:29 am haha yeah right I was asleep. We’ve broken up before he left me for another girl and we got back together. Since then we fight constantly I’m busy with school and he’s working, I’m literally just trying to make a better future for us. He told me he doesn’t see us working out in the future because of all the fighting. I’m willing to change things around.
Hello Julie,
Thank you for your comment. I know that there has been a lot of heartache in your relationship with your ex and I know it must be difficult at times. What I would advise you to do here is look into the reasons why you both fight so much and take accountability for you to change and see if he follows you along. The key here will be for the both of you to change and start over. We have a product that helps with the step by step method on how to do this. You can find it here. https://www.withmyexagain.com/product/the-reset-method/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hey ive explained my issue here but nobody has responded for like 4 days and i know your busy but please help me when you can its about how me and my ex gave each other space cause i was going through allot and i isolated myself we didnt speak for a month and 2 weeks cause i was to afraid and she didnt make a move either she dumped me through text saying i wasnt whats best for her anymore and etc i went up to her and asked her please lets talk this out she said theres nothing to talk about and pushed me away she left crying not even a week later she was with someone else and i guess made it official on October and shes bin constantly flaunting him how hes perfect she loves him and etc on this spam account she made out of nowhere but i noticed something the profile picture was something that represented us we did this shoelace things we were opposites she had white and i had black but i gave her mine and kept hers and told hee this could be a part of me that can always be with you cause i know i cant always be there for you no matter how much i try to be she even wore my shirts twice last November but who knows now do i got a shot she seems happy from what i seen but i miss her and just want her to come back home
Hello Dereck,
Thank you for your comment. Yes, we try to respond to as many comments as we can between coaching sessions but cant reply to every single comment considering our work load and purchased sessions but I am happy I am able to reply now. So, it seems like your ex was missing attention from the past relationship since you isolated yourself. The best thing to do now is let her experience this new relationship because she will end up missing you. Show her some changes through your actions in the meantime. This can be through social media and when you speak to her again. I would suggest a hand written letter after about 30 days. I believe our EBook would help you with the step by step process. https://www.withmyexagain.com/ebooks/
Best,
WMEA Team
Hi me and ex been together for 2yrs because I was hanging around my ex family. An he found out about it and I lied to him also I went and stayed with my gay homeboy until 6 a.m after I graduated and he has been mad at me every since. So we been broken up for 4mths and he has been in a relationship for about 3mths and I was wondering was it possible that we can get back together even if we have been keeping in touch since he has been in his new relationship. Because he has been saying one thing one day then he just keep changing it. I don’t know what to do. Also we have been keeping in touch on social media but not through phone
Hello Andrea,
I think if you give your ex some space and go into no contact for a bit he will pursue you more. I believe there is still something there especially if he is reaching out. Here is something that may help. https://www.withmyexagain.com/guides/no-contact-rule/
Best,
WMEA Team