After a breakup, you often stay in touch with your mutual friends or with your ex’s family. Sometimes you can even remain on good terms and communicate regularly with your ex.
Thanks to the Internet and social media, it has become a lot easier to share details about your personal life, your travels, and your experiences and when you’re unhappy about something, you tend to focus on it and you want to talk about it.
You want advice and you want to find out what your ex has been up to (indirectly or directly,) because breaking up doesn’t automatically mean that you stop caring.
This is exactly what you’re experiencing today. Your ex, the person that you maybe still want to be with, hasn’t quite forgotten you either and is making references to you to their friends, colleagues, and on social media. “What do I do when my ex is talking about me?” is a question that a lot of people ask, especially when they want their ex back.
You want to do the best possible thing and make sure that you’re following the most efficient method. But before you take action, you want to know what exactly your ex is saying about you, what it means, and whether or not they’re still in love with you.
It’s true that when you still have feelings for your ex, it’s hard to remain impervious especially when you find out about what they think about you and that they haven’t forgotten you. That said, this knowledge could also push you to make certain mistakes if you try to rush things or if you misinterpret what your ex is saying.
Why is my ex is talking about me?
A breakup doesn’t mean that everything ceases to exist between you (and I’m not just talking on an emotional level.) You can still have things in common that lead you to be either directly or indirectly still in contact. The biggest one is when you’ve got kids together.
You’re linked because of your kids and it’s completely normal to continue speaking to the mother or father of your children. You weren’t just casually dating; your relationship had been very serious! I often speak to couples that have separated but had shared a pet.
As if separating from the person you love wasn’t hard enough, you lose your dog or your cat as well, so of course it’s a painful experience.
That said, continuing to speak, or hearing that your ex is talking about you doesn’t necessarily mean that their feelings for you have returned… But it’s not uncommon. Oftentimes, when an ex continues to refer to you in conversation, it means that Love is very much still present.
It isn’t an insignificant detail when you find out that an ex is talking about you to their friends or on social media! Feelings don’t just disappear after a breakup, and maybe this is their way of indirectly reaching out to you. They know their words will travel through the grape vine and eventually get to you!
We are talking about a subtle way to get back in touch with an ex.
When you’re able to say, “my ex is talking about me,” it’s important to note that there could be a negative side to this as well. A separation can leave scars, bitterness, and issues that bleed outside the borders of your relationship. It’s not uncommon for an ex-partner to be angry and to not necessarily plan on serenely turning the page.
Talking badly about one’s ex to your loved ones, colleagues, or posting all kinds of hate-filled status updates on social media (knowing full well that you’re going to see it) is a form of vengeance. It’s also a way to communicate something to you and to make you feel their wrath…
In summary, there are two reasons as to why you would be a topic of conversation for your ex. The first possibility is a positive one as it signifies that your ex’s feelings for you are present, and the second one is not so great, as your ex is using criticism to seek revenge.
Note: Talking about your ex doesn’t mean you’re in love with them!
It’s important to understand (and it’s one of the most important elements of this article,) that just because a person is talking about their ex, it doesn’t mean that they’re still in love and dreams about their return. A lot of people are blinded by their desire to be back together again and think that their ex-partner feels the same way.
It’s imperative to be able to take a step back, put things into perspective, and logically review the situation.
I completely understand that you need reassurance and that you want to take something positive from the situation, but unfortunately when you want your ex back you have to take into consideration all aspects of the situation and not just what you want to see or hear.
If your ex has posted a love song on Facebook, don’t automatically assume that it’s a declaration of their love for you. Just because your ex asked your best friend how you are, it doesn’t mean that they want to give you a second chance.
Of course you can take comfort in these signs, and you can realize that maybe not all is lost. What I’m trying to say here is that it’s imperative to never base your attempt at getting back together on minor details and to tell yourself that it’s 100% sure that you’re going to get back together.
This is one of the biggest and most common mistakes that people make! Being overly confident is never good, you must be able to weigh the positives and the negatives, and to be objective.
Don’t rely on everyone else when you want your ex back
The only person you can rely on is yourself when you want your ex back!
So if you’re thinking, “my ex is talking about me, and I’m going to do the same thing in order to get a reaction out of them,” you should know that this isn’t always such a good idea. People often act like their ex when they want them back, and this situation is no exception.
When you find out that your ex has been talking about you to your mutual friends, sooner or later you start doing the same so that you can show them that you’re also thinking about them. You’re not sending them messages directly because you don’t want to seem needy.
Nevertheless, it’s important to understand that this isn’t how you’re going to succeed in rekindling the flame between you. Facebook, Instagram and your friends aren’t going to get your ex back for you; you’re the one that has to make the effort.
This is why it’s so important to set into motion the proper method and to not base your actions on what other people tell you! I invite you to design your plan of action by following the advice in this article that outlines the best way to get back together with your ex.
And lastly, always be careful that your words don’t get changed, misinterpreted or blown out of proportion because when you are communicating with your ex via the grape vine, this tends to happen pretty often.
If, “I thought of my ex because this is the first movie we ever saw together,” turns into “Your ex is always thinking about you and misses when you two went to the movies together, and wants you to invite him/her to go see a movie next week…” You can see how it could get a little messy.
So be careful with whom you choose to have conversations about your ex and your intentions. It’s often best to be discrete.
The coach when my ex is talking about me.