My ex is too proud to come back, what do I do?

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My ex is too proud to come back As you know, you can be faced with numerous obstacles when you’re trying to get your ex back. You’ve already tried many good techniques, but the one you still love hasn’t gotten any closer.

He’s got a strong character, and on top of that, his pride is holding you back from being able to make any real progress and to recreate attraction between you. Your ex is therefore what we call “stubborn as a mule!”

Men often have a big ego, but the one you want to take you back has an especially inflated one. This is causing problems in your situation. Your goal is to reestablish a nice balance in your relationship, without being too needy or overly compliant, while rekindling the flame. In this article, we will explore all of this.

When we are faced with a man with a difficult temperament, it’s important to know how to use and adapt certain strategies so that they prove to be the most useful to you.

My ex is too proud to come back” is something people often say, and if this is the case for you too, maybe you’re getting ready to throw in the towel. This isn’t the best thing, so it’s time to become aware of various things concerning your man, so that you can have a clearer idea of how to overcome your doubts.

In this article I will teach you how to become more persuasive!

Why doesn’t my ex want to come back to me?

One of the biggest problems women often face after a breakup is a man that’s built himself a fortress of silence!

The person you want to get back together with might not have the same mindset as you regarding the subject. For him, it’s over, he says he doesn’t have feelings for you anymore, and that you have to move on too.

A man can be extremely prideful, and even if you didn’t see this side of him while you were still together, you’re suddenly faced with surprising behavior and attitude.

He’s just made a big decision in leaving you, and maybe he’s only back because you’re asking him, and he doesn’t feel like he’s allowed to have his way. But maybe there’s another explanation.

Perhaps you’re the one that left. You weren’t happy, you were having a personal issue, and your relationship wasn’t working out for you so you decided to separate. In this case, perhaps your man wants you to feel his pain.

Of course each situation is unique, but through my experience with coaching, I’ve come to see that they share common themes. If you’re saying, “my ex is too proud”, the cause might be that you pushed him too far and you ended up hurting him. I’m talking about infidelity.

If you cheated on him, don’t consider his pride to be inappropriate. However, it is possible to change the course of action, and to not have to turn the page like he wants you to.

My ex is too proud to come back, but I’ll try anything!

Sometimes a woman sees their ex, the proud man that she loved just the way he was, and thinks that making him want to take her back will be impossible, given his temperament. People often blow things a little bit out of proportion without realizing it.

You think he’s an inaccessible man, and you think he’s angry or that he resents you simply because he’s not making any efforts to come back to you. You have to understand that after a separation, feelings aren’t enough, and pride isn’t always the only reason as to why your relationship hasn’t already been mended. There are a wide variety of explanations.

Just because your ex needs space, and the distance between you is growing, it doesn’t mean that your ex will be closed off to discussions. In any case, you need to respect their wishes as well as certain rules.

By begging him to come back every day, asking him about his feelings each time you speak, trying to find out if he’s in a new relationship or not, all you’re going to do is push him away and make him have less desire to be close to you again. Don’t forget that this is the basic rule for getting back together, so that he will be happy by your side.

If you suffocate him, he’ll want to run away.

The problem isn’t always the ex’s ego. Sometimes the problem is stemming from actions that you’ve already set into motion; actions that aren’t properly adapted to your specific situation, or worse yet, actions that border the “don’ts” of getting back your ex.

We can design a proper, effective plan of action in a one on one coaching session. I know that when you’re in the middle of the storm, you’re hurting and your emotions seem uncontrollable; it’s hard to see the entire situation clearly, so this is why a meeting with an expert on matters of the heart is so important.

Not only will you be able to benefit from my professional experience, but you’ll also be able to set into motion a precise, evolving strategy. Don’t hesitate to explore the toolbar to the top right of this page to learn more about specific guidance.

How can I get a reaction out of a man with too much pride, after a breakup?

Don’t wait for him to grovel at your feet after a separation! It’s important to specify this before you do something regrettable and are disappointed in your ex’s reaction.

Not only does he have a lot of pride, which makes it highly unlikely that he’s going to come begging for forgiveness, but deep down, this isn’t how you want it to happen. You know that if he does this, it’s just a sign of emotional dependence and you know that it’ll result in an unstable relationship.

If communication is preventing you from moving forward, if he won’t stop criticizing you, you’ll have to thicken your skin and stand tall until your ex comes to realize that his behavior is unacceptable. The best thing to do is to not make any brash actions when faced with a cold, irritated, or tormented ex, and to take action when the time is right.

Under these circumstances, you have a tendency to worry too much, to become too needy or compliant so that your ex will be open to your improvements. You should never feel down about yourself because of a man, even if you love him, or else you’ll never be truly happy and after a while you’ll begin to resent him.

Of course you can make efforts to bring about change, but don’t carry the entire weight of the relationship on your shoulders. To make him respond positively, don’t underestimate the importance of giving him space, and take the time to work on yourself as well.

You don’t necessarily have to wait for him to make the first move, but fight off the depression that you are feeling. In this article, I explain how to deal with heartache in your relationship.

The coach when my ex is too proud to come back,



25 Responses

  1. Dear Adrian,
    my ex and I broke up after more than 6 years and he jumped immediately after in a new relationship…for moths we discussed about getting back together but in the end he chose her…he says he is happy and things with her are great…he refuses to have any contact with me, which is killing my heart and my self esteem…but then he meets my friends and tells them that I am the one, that he thinks of me as the mother of his children, that he will never find anybody like me…but still he is scared that coming back to me would be the wrong decision…so he stays with the OW…do you think I am in front of a case of stubbornness? how should a wise person react to such a behavior?
    Thank you!

    1. Hey Morgane,
      You simply have to balance things out by starting to date or at the very least by putting yourself out there and potentially meeting someone else. He is way too comfortable right now as he knows you are waiting for him and that he could take you back whenever he wants. If he says that you are the one, he will look to do whatever it takes to win you back when he senses that you are slipping away.
      I can help you speed this process up and maximize your chances of getting back together, please book a coaching session with me if you’re interested.

  2. Dear Adrian,
    I was recently dealing with a man, not necessarily my boyfriend for over a year. A lot of things he did I ignored, especially in the beginning. I found myself apologizing for things that were not my fault, and begging for chances when I should have left. He lied to me about the amount of kids he had, he refused to be upfront about whether or not he was sleeping with other people without protection, so instead of walking away I looked in his phone. He found out told him I would never do it again. We recently ended it because I actually did it again, and I called him a few names. He said this time going in his phone was workable, but the fact that I said certain things about him told him how I really felt. Keep in mind for over 10 months I have been called every name in the book from, and I sat for the longest and took it. I thought I was defending myself by snapping back, although I truly didn’t mean the things I said. He never apologize to me about anything he has done, and trust me he has done a lot. I felt like I was forcing, but pushing him away instead, but I just wanted to know how he really felt about me, and still to this day Im extremely confused.

    1. Hey Shai, although many mistakes were made I think that I can help you turn things around.
      Book a session in order for us to figure how the best way to make it work!

  3. Dear Adrian,
    Will my ex ever regret hurting me?
    I’m going to tell you the most painful moments I have had with him! We Have been together for almost 5 years! , are relationship hasn’t been stabil from the jump! He hasn’t been extra romantic in the beginning, he was cold and very Careless from the start! He even told me that, his attitude is going to be hard for me that I couldn’t handle him so! Dummy me wanted to play “ride or die” thru thick n thin ! Like I said this guy has been selfish, abusive, controlling, narcissistic! Whatever you name it he is! Til this He hasn’t. Changed! I was pregnant 2 times, both of those time I handled it by myself! He was busy working! One time he broke my ring finger because I accidentally deactivated his phone, so he was trying to get mine , because he was going to work! But the night before this happened we had a fight, his brother , mother , brothers pregnant girlfriend was there! So I was trying to get past him, accidentally shoved his foot and he got mad and attaked me in fronth of his family! We worked thru it! The next event was! The day before my mom asked me to help her, cuz my ex had a car! And he was like yeah all help, but the next day! When I ask if he could take me there he said, no you should a gotten up earlier! It was 10 min from our house! Btw I moved in with him and his mom!( bad idea) so I asked him for his car keys and he gave it to me and I left with his keys and he was going to work but he has to take the bus cuz I took his keys! I own that car as much as him! We shared everything! My money was his mine vise versa! He came home , he slept on the sofa! For 4 days then we started talking again! And he started changing everything like! Your money is your! And mine is mine! Don’t ever wake me up for school , I use to wake him up with coffee and breakfast and make him lunch for school almost everyday 6-7am I worked i didn’t go to school! I didn’t start before 3-4 pm! I did this out of love! But he has never done anything that I remember outta of love! So now I’m starting to get tired of this man! I trying to get engaged and stuff he agreed but he kinda said something that broke my heart! “Your not my wife I don’t need to drive you” the next day he left, I left to go to the library and there I set and was thinking , and made up my mind that I had to leave him! So I send him a msg saying! Don’t worry close your doors, I’m not coming back home! And I left like a gost, he tried calling, I blocked his phone! At this moment I have had enough! So I went to my mom and told her and she was like go on a vacation relax your mind and forget his dude! So this was on Friday and my flight leaves on Monday, and on Saturday my ex is at work! I went on Saturday and packed my shit in a black plastic bag! Because I gave his brother my bag! … I left everything I had ever invested in there home! There home wAs full of things when I came, before I came you could hear the eko in there house! Took my shit and left! So he called me when I got down where I was going and he begged begged begged!! And dummy me! Forgave his dumbass like that! And I had family’s in my ear saying! How do you know if he loves you? When are you going to open up your eyes etc! Me and him had different religious views! But for him I would be come almost everything because I loves him more then myself! I even took overdose because he was treating me so bad! Anyways so i was like let me see how much this guy loves me? So I said I can only marry you if you convert to my religion! And at first he was like noo we talked about this you promised me! So 2 weeks we didn’t talk, he called and said ok all do it! So I said show my family some respect and so as they tell you how you convert ! He was all in to it! But every day the guy was hot then cold! Gliding like Bambi on ice! And I cryied for almost 1 week straight! And he then said everything my family was asking was to much! So he broke up with me, he uses reverse psychology on me , and said you need to talk to my mother if she accepts us to be together, and I bagged him over and over again! At the end I was like BOY BYE! And we stopped talking and I started going out getting my confident back! It’s been 8 months since we have talked ! It’s been 2 months since I came back! Now we are in the same city! Haven yet to see him! We are 21-24! There are a lot more but you guys understand! I loved him with my heart! I loved him when I was broken, when I was hurt! Now his dating his brothers friends ex girlfriend! Will he ever regret hurting me? Does he know how much I tried? Does he even know how much I was doing for him!?

    1. Helen, many mistakes were made here…
      I would love to coach you over the phone, please book a coaching session if you can in order for me to provide you with some much needed feedback.

  4. Adrian,

    My boyfriend and I broke up 10 days ago. He told me it’s over and I’m better off without him. He wasn’t talking to me and ignoring my calls. I waited 4 days and wrote him a letter . He is now talking to me . I want to add that him and I had zero issues in our relationship. We were only together two months but I have never felt this way before and he told me he wanted to spend his life with me. He has a lot he’s going through, he hasn’t seen his kids in 2 1/2 months due to his ex, money issues , and he’s dealing with death of his sister this past October . I told him I was feeling a little insecure about the way he was acting, he blew up and said I really hurt him. I know he loves me but he does have a lot of pride.

  5. Hello,

    I have just come out of a long 4 year relationship with my ex who was my first love. We have been together since the age of 15 and was completely in love when we were younger however the last couple of years he took a twist and changed. He broke up with me just over 2 months ago and it’s safe to say I am completely devastated. As soon as we split up he began seeing other girls and sleeping around so I decided to try and move on and do the same. I did meet a guy who was a mutual friend of us both and in the end I did end up spending the night with him (baring in mind before this my ex was the only person I had slept with) I regret it and it was a bad decision from me as I realised I am still completely in love with my ex. My ex and I have had on and off contact since the split constantly arguing and calling each other due to accusations being said of him cheating on me however he strongly denies this but I know it’s true and the longest I’ve done no contact is for 10 days. I saw my ex for the very first time last night and we did end up getting with each other until we had an argument and got kicked out of the club together. He told me that he still loves me, he kept on asking where I was and why I did nothing when we split up and that he does want me back. Moving forward I thought it would be a good idea to come clean and tell him about the one night stand in which he went crazy. He ended up head butting me and pushed me in a bush after then screaming at me that he had also slept with 6 other girls!

    I tried to call and call him to see if we could put this behind us and move forward but he is adamant he is done with me for good and will never come back. After the 20th time calling he told me to f*ck off and I will never see or speak to me again nor does he love me or regret anything he has done.

    Around a year ago we split up and he did sleep around and I forgave him however I did not do a single thing: but this time because I have been with someone else I do believe he is gone for good this time and will never come back. In my heart I know this has turned completely toxic but I love him more then words can say and I want him to realise what he’s done and what he’s lost and come back as the man I need. Right now we have no spoken since and I don’t know what step to take next? Does he really mean it when he says he’s done? Will he ever come back as the man I can trust and need??

    Please help

    Kind regards

  6. So my boyfriend and I broke up for less than 2 weeks now. It started with a mistake that he did and he just couldn’t forgive himself, even though I already did. I wanted to move past this, but he kept punishing himself, telling himself how stupid he was to do something like that and he can’t look at me with the fact of knowing he hurt me. I am much mo hurt with the idea of him pushing me away. He told me I have to end it with him and and I have to break it up so at least it will be a little bit easier if I am the one who ends it. But that’s not the case, it won’t be any easier. 2-3 times he broke up with me but ill beg him to take it back because if I let him break up with me, I won’t be able to help him with what he is going through. I still want to be connected with him somehow because I know there’s something else he is hiding. He can’t just make that mistake ruin our relationship and it doesn’t make sense. Before he actually broke up with me and before I accepted it without begging him to take his words back, he told me that at one point of the relationship, he felt his love fading and that he tried to not let it fade, but here we are now. He tells me he has no feelings for me anymore. Yes, it hurts, but It gave somewhat of a comfort in my heart that maybe yeah that’s the answer i have been searching for when I had the thought of “maybe he is hiding something else”. Hours to day later I can’t get over it, it keeps running in my head and I feel like he still loves me. I mean he still is concern and cares? Like he seriously gets mad if I put myself in danger or if I ever try to hurt myself. I mean if we are over you shouldn’t care right? Like let me be right? But no, he gets mad a even threatens me that he’ll do something to hurt himself if I ever put myself in danger. The thing is he doesn’t reply back, mostly ignores me and doesn’t ask anyone for help. He has late bills and a his mom is willing to help and so em I but he is not taking it. He doesn’t want it and says he doesn’t need it. I feel like his pride is hurting him and its had. He is stubborn and I don’t want it to reach to the point that he’ll even have more regrets. I don’t know what to do I can can’t stop myself from checking up on him, but I have had it and I am angry and so mad already with what he is doing. It is not him anymore to tell me he has given up, he gives up on everyone and that he gives up in life. It just doesn’t make sense and me being away isn’t helping me at all.

  7. Hi Nena!
    To have a coach session with Adrian, please visit the “private coaching” tab on this website. He has a 24 or less turnaround.
    Coach N.

  8. We were close till we caught feelings for each other. I needed him to be more open to me but he has ego. And den he hurt me by accusing me of flirting/hitting on another guy. I felt very hurt and I left. Its been 2 weeks nw and I cnt stand a day without thinking of him. Miss him so much and I knw he wants me bk. But his pride is much. Can I.make d move? What do I do? Cnt stay without him anymore.

  9. My ex boyfriend and I dated for a year and 2 months and this is the third time hes ending it I tried to mend things for the last month that we were together but he said that his feelings for wanting the relationship didnt come back and that I’ve hurt him. Hes acting cold and distant the worst part is that this time hes different than the last two break ups he always says we are never getting back together but this time i think he means it how do i make him want this when hes convinced himself that there is no way this is going to work out?

    1. Hi AP!

      Coach Adrian and I are hosting a free webinar on Sunday, June 25th, at 1PM, and it deals with preparing you to begin rekindling with your ex. We’ll dive into how to work on yourself and prepare for the first date after the breakup. I think you’ll gain lots of insight. I hope you join! Here’s the link :


      Coach N

  10. I caught my ex of 10yrs cheated on line . I forgave him 2times within 3weeks apart . The 3rd time I kicked him out. We have 2kids and been broke up for 3 months . I want him back , I have asked him to go to counseling and he refused both . I love this man a lot. He said he’s moved on and I should do the same . I’m having a hard time . Any advice would be helpful

    1. Hello Lady,

      Thank you for reaching out to me and for sharing your story.

      There are no guarantees here, as your situation is a complex one…but I do believe that I can help you maximize your chances of making it work – and I do think that it is possible to turn everything around.

      I would recommend that you book a one hour private coaching session in order for me to respond to all of your questions, provide you with insights and a clear way forward.


      Coach Natalie

  11. My ex and I are currently still living together after breaking up a little over a week ago. We had a huge drunken fight that caused it, said nasty things that we would never usually say and now we are both scarred from that night. I know we did not just call it quits from that one night but there was a lot of arguing due to lack of space at home on both ends and short temper and what not. The morning after the fight we both said it was done then hours later decided that I go stay at my parents for a few days to calm down and think more. I stayed at my mother’s for 3 nights and went back on the 4th night and he ignored me completely. The next day when he got up for work all he said when he left our bedroom was “seeya later” after my shift that night I texted him saying if he had any time tonight after work to come in the bedroom so I could talk, not about our situation, but usually he’s the one I talk to about anything. He told me he’s “not at all ready to give me any sort of affection or sympathy right now” … I continued on how we can’t just keep being bitter towards eachother because it’ll only do more harm. He then replied “you’re acting like this is something that will eventually be looked past, it’s not. This is over you know that right?” This was all over text message while I was home and he was still at work. I was crushed being as we had agreed to take space and then talk later when ready. He went from “not ready to give me affection or sympathy” to “it’s over” I’m so confused. Afterwards I reacted emotionally sending him many many texts begging and pleading and what not. He eventually replied he’s not giving in, it’s not healthy anymore, and to stop messaging him. So I sent MORE upset texts then realized I should stop and the last message I said was “I’m going to my moms again for awhile. Please don’t text me unless you need to talk” he never replied. I’ve been at my mother’s again for 4 nights now and don’t plan on reaching out as I’m trying the no contact rule. I just want to know if it’s even worth it at this point. It’s confusing because we live together still, haven’t discussed the living situation, AND he won’t tell me it’s over to my face or have a final sit down talk (something I find completely necessary if you’re breaking ties with someone you had an emotionally deep relationship with). He refuses to talk in person and says if I’m home he will be sleeping in the living room. On top of that he hasn’t deleted me off social media yet or anything, and that’s unlike him because back in November we had a small 5 day breakup where he deleted and blocked me from everything. Now I’m not? Can’t tell if it’s because I still live with him or if he just doesn’t care or if he does. I need help. Is staying at my mother’s and doing no contact even worth it or should I just go home and start packing? I don’t have a new apartment backed up ready- keep in mind! So realistically I have no where to “live” just yet. I want to make it work with him but he is so bitter.

  12. Okay so i had a boyfriend that i loved so much. He has been in my life for a while. He jeep telling me that he was un happy that he thinks that there is always going to be someone better then the last person. But then said he still cares for me. Will he come back or will he be stubborn

    1. Hi Rebecca,
      Thanks for reaching out – without knowing more context, I won’t be able to answer that question. I invite you to really spend time reflecting on the issues to best identify whether or not he’s likely to return. If you need assistance, I invite you to schedule a coaching session with me.
      Coach N.

  13. Hello Noni,
    I would give him space right now and then think of your ultimate goal. If you ultimate goal is to get him back then being friends is something I would invite you to consider. You have to show him change and also your willing to make the relationship better. Please contact me if you need to get some tailored advice.
    WMEA Team

  14. Hello Jasmine,
    At this point in the relationship I invite you to do a lot of self-reflection. I wonder why you think this man would be a good man in your life? You deserve to be treated well and you should always and only put you and your children first. Reflect on why you are attracted to him? Is this a healthy relationship? I would take your time to sit alone and be alone for a while so you can concentrate on you. Please reach out to us if you feel called to get guidance with a coaching session.
    WMEA Team

  15. Hello Andy,
    I cannot give you the answer to your last question but what I can tell you is that you can focus on yourself and moving forward to get your ex attention by showing change. Reevaluating what happened in the past and moving forward with confidence and positivity is going to be vital for your ex. Not, apologizing or pleading anymore is something that will have to happen in order for you to gain control back. I invite you to reach out to me for a coaching session so we can help you get to your goal.
    WMEA Team

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