One of the most common issues people reach out to us with is the fear that they’ve been left for another person. You broke up not that long ago, and your ex is already in a serious relationship with someone else. Does this mean that there’s been something going on that you weren’t aware of while you were still together? Was your ex cheating on you and to add insult to injury, left you for someone else? Or could this be nothing more than a rebound relationship that your ex is using to get over the breakup?
At this point in time, your head is swimming with questions and doubts. What’s more, you still want to be with this person, so what can you do? Is there anything that you can try that will turn things around? Fortunately, you’ve found a site run by relationship experts. We specialize in getting people back together and helping you navigate these murky waters. When you’re hurt and upset, sometimes it’s hard to define a clear action plan and we are here to help. If you’re thinking, “My ex left me for someone else and I need help with getting them back,” you’re in luck.
In this article, I’m going to help clarify the situation for you so that you can determine the best plan of attack! I know that you might be feeling powerless right now, but always remember that you are more in control of the situation than you might realize. It’ll require patience, self control, and perseverance, but you CAN turn this thing around. Let’s take a look at how…
I think my ex left me for someone else: How can I know for sure?
Before all else, I want you to know that you don’t need to worry about the new person. If you fixate on your ex’s new boyfriend or girlfriend, you’re going to drive yourself nuts.
If your ex left you, whether or not they are with someone new already, it wasn’t because of this person. If they left you, it means that they did not trust in your ability to make them happy longterm. Unfortunately, if you had been able to assure them that they would have been happy by your side, they would still be with you. Now, this doesn’t mean that you can’t change the way they see you, so don’t panic.
Instead of focusing on the fact that you think your ex left you for another person, switch your focus to what went wrong in your relationship with your ex. What were the issues and challenges you were dealing with on a daily basis, and how could you have handled them differently? What changed from the beginning of your relationship to the end of your relationship with your ex? Think about your personal life – did you lose yourself in the relationship?
What could you have changed in order for their dedication to you to never have faltered? Simply put, being left for someone else boils down to the fact that something was missing from your relationship. That means that at this point in time, you’ve got to zero in on what that was and what you can do about it.
There is a specific exercise that we do with clients in one on one coaching sessions, and I wanted to share it with you here. Go ahead and take a piece of paper and start making a list of all the issues you and your ex were encountering in your relationship. Write them all out, and don’t hesitate to take your time with this. Write down all issues, both big and small. If you’re thinking, “My ex left me for someone else,” it’s important to pay attention to what lead up to this moment.
Then I’d like you to take a look at everything you listed out, and try to argue them from your ex’s perspective. Imagine that you are their attorney, debating as though they were fighting to prove their point to you. Simply put, put yourself in your ex’s shoes. This is how you can take a step back and get a clear picture of the relationship.
What was the dynamic, what was the balance of power, and how did you guys treat each other (and mistreat each other)?
When you’re thinking of the situation from your ex’s perspective, it’s going to be much easier to find solutions to the issues you were experiencing, and this will pave the way for repairing the relationship you had with this person.
Instead of fixating on the fact that maybe you ended up getting dumped for someone else, this is what you should be focusing on.
How to deal with being dumped for someone else
During your relationship, something changed. This is why one of the things we always say to our clients, “Be the person your ex got together with; not the person they left.”
Maybe multiple changed while you were together and you’re going to have to present your ex with the person they fell in love with in the first place. We know for a fact that your ex can fall for you because it’s happened once before! You have everything you need inside of you already, and now you just need to bring it back to the surface and make it better than ever!
Sometimes there are external circumstances that end up damaging the relationship (a big move, new job, death in the family, etc) and one of the two partners ends up feeling dissatisfied. The relationship no longer makes them feel fulfilled, and it’s up to you to pinpoint how to bring that initial complicity and attraction back.
Even though you’re hurting right now, thinking “He left me for someone else” or “She left me for someone else,” I just want you to remember that this isn’t necessarily what your ex wanted. When you commit to a serious relationship with someone, you truly want it to work.
They didn’t want to wind up in a situation where someone else caught their eye. What’s more, chances are that you were together for a longer period of time than he or she has been with this new person.
If you’re able to become the new and improved version of the person that your ex fell in love with in the first place, you’ll start catching their attention like never before.
What’s more, there is also a chance that your ex’s relationship is actually just a rebound relationship. Sure, maybe they met this person while they were with you, but it doesn’t mean that it’s the love of their lives. Maybe they just needed a change and they chose to go with this person because it was convenient. Don’t let thoughts about this new relationship drive you crazy. This person might be nothing but a distraction.
If your ex left and is already with someone else, it just means that they needed something different in order to feel fulfilled. Your ex wanted to be distracted from the flaws in your relationship, and this is not a reflection of who you are as a person.
They did not leave you for someone else; they left the issues your relationship was experiencing. It’s crucial that you understand this because I don’t want this to damage your self confidence. You can change these things. As I said, your ex has already fallen in love with you once before, so we know that they can see you like this.
If there is one element that should be prioritized above all else right now, it’s going to be your self confidence. This is the most important key for re-attracting an ex. When you first met, I bet you were confident, happy, with your own things going on.
With time and because of various external circumstances, you may have lost sight of that, and now that you’re thinking, “My ex left me for someone else,” you are at risk for having a badly bruised ego. But it’s crucial that you prioritize your self confidence because this is what will attract your ex back, this is what will assure yourself of what you bring to the table, and this is what will make you believe in yourself so that you can make the necessary changes.
If you would like some one on one guidance on how to restore your self confidence and how to get your ex back, you can get in touch with us for a coaching session right now. You can also leave any questions you may have in the comments section below.
Wishing you all the best
Your coach when you’re dealing with an ex leaving a relationship for someone else
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