In reconciliation, it’s OK to take control of the situation, but never force your view onto the other person. Even if you’re thinking I miss my ex, you have to remain in control of your emotions.
The problem is that your ex is expecting a change in behavior. You NEED to show empathy, which means understanding and fulfilling their needs if you plan to succeed in your reconciliation.
Reconciling with your ex is a two way street. You can neither force them to think a certain way, nor do all the work yourself. If you feel this may be true but are unsure of exactly what it means, then continue reading!
Once reconciled, your ex must also make steps towards you!
However, if you are at the beginning of your reconciliation, I strongly suggest you take a couple steps back and read one of my articles devoted to understanding the breakup.
Getting your ex back doesn’t entail chasing after them and doing whatever you can to make them love you again . Nor does it mean that you should sit around waiting for them to give you a positive sign. Neither of those extremes will get you very far.
You must silence your emotions and try to be in control. They will most likely trigger a negative reaction from your ex if you are unable to think and act clearly by letting your emotions get the best of you. Acting on fear and impulses is how you will actually manage to drive your ex away from you permanently. They need to sincerely want you back into their life, and not be intimidated or bullied into coming back to you.
To reconcile with your ex you need to play a game for two
After a breakup, it’s important not to see your reconciliation as a “trip back to the past”. Your old relationship is gone, and that’s a good thing. Instead take a step forward. Recreate a new attraction and thus, a new game of seduction.
What does this game of seduction that I am referring too entail?
You need to recreate a connection with your ex and establish a process based on reciprocity allowing you both to be involved in the relationship on equal grounds.
The goal of reconciliation is to start anew from a solid foundation!
The process of reconciliation must always be the start of a new relationship, which will fulfill both you and your ex’s needs. I notice way too often that couples get back together only to jump back into the same relationship, and commit the same mistakes, which inevitably leads to one of the parties being unhappy. Most of the time, that person will be your ex. That is why I strongly urge you to play into a game of seduction which allows you to constantly fuel their desire.
There is always an epilogue to reconciliation, so never try to force your will onto your ex or overdo it when it comes to the amends that you need to make. Remember, a relationship lived in fear of breaking up is never a good relationship in the end.
I wish the best reconciliation to all of you!
Your coach to help you reconcile with your ex,