Most of the people that I coach on a daily basis often ask me, “Do I have to be faithful to my ex while trying to convince them to come back,” or “Am I allowed to go out with other people during this time?” At first the answer seems simple: Of course you can because you’re not in a relationship at the moment. But in truth you’re going to have to cool it with these arguments if you’re serious about wanting to get back together with your ex.
Even though the breakup really happened, many of you feel that your relationship isn’t actually over and that doing something with another person would be considered infidelity. But is not remaining faithful to an ex while on trying to get back together really betrayal? Find out the answer in this article.
To remain faithful to an ex: What good does it do?
As mentioned, remaining faithful to your ex after you’ve broken up seems a little odd because you’re not obligated to act the way you did before. By that I mean the way you acted when you were together. Why would it be infidelity if you kissed or slept with with someone else?
In a relationship, I’d condemn this type of behavior even if it can be explained by different factors, but why not do these things while you’re single?
Put yourself in your ex’s shoes, try to think like them. This person has recently decided to break up with you; does it make sense to remain faithful to an ex? Do you think that if your ex had the chance to meet someone else that they would hold back? Moreover, by thinking this way you might be preventing yourself from meeting someone that would make you even happier. Maybe you could have a much more fulfilling relationship than your last one, even if your heart is yearning for you ex at the moment.
These questions flood your mind and it’s hard to find the right answers. During my coaching sessions, I place a fair amount of importance on these questions because they are what will shape your plan of action as you try to get back together with your ex. And who’s to say that your mindset won’t change while you’re carrying out your actions. In truth, knowing if you should remain faithful to your ex is a question of your own moral compass; you’re the only one that knows if it’s right or wrong for you.
Staying attached to your ex is completely normal
For a man or a woman who is not experiencing heartache or not planning on trying to get back together with their ex, being unfaithful to an ex isn’t an issue because the relationship has already been mourned the moment the breakup occurs.
However, if you’re still experiencing strong feelings for your ex or share moments together; remaining intimate with someone else could be painful or even impossible to do. At best it could leave you feeling uneasy. You are probably used to a certain life with your ex and you don’t want this to change. This makes sense since you want to get back together as soon as possible.
So it’s not about remaining faithful to an ex, it’s about remaining faithful to your feelings for them. You can’t imagine being wit someone else while your ex is still in your heart; you’re concentrating on getting back together and not on moving on. If you really want to be in the best state of mind and succeed in getting back together with the person you love most; then you most probably should not be paying attention to others.
One of the reasons behind why people remain faithful to their ex is because they’re afraid of getting caught. Of course, it could also create a feeling of jealousy that could eventually bring them back to you; but if you’re more of a pessimist you could also argue that this could back fire big time. Your ex could move on because you would lose credibility in their eyes when you try to communicate about how you feel.
Wanting something new
On the contrary, if you do not want to get back together with the person you were sharing your life with, not remaining faithful to your ex could be a solution to help you suffer less.
Sometimes, finding a new partner can allow you to start a new love story and quickly forget about your ex. Starting something new is sometimes the best solution when your feelings are strong and you’re experiencing emotional dependency.
It’s important to not rush anything and to avoid a new relationship that turns into a mess. Many people consider their new relationship as identical to their last one, and transpose certain behaviors that end up causing problems in their new relationship.
Your coach to figure out if you should remain faithful to your ex when trying to get back together.